Chapter Four
Emmett POV
Alice rolled her eyes at me as I drove us home.
"There's nothing going on between Jasper and I." she told me and I chuckled.
"Yeah, yet." I teased and she huffed.
"Shut up." She mumbled and I smirked. So, Bella was right.
"I'm just saying…" She scoffed.
"Yea well…you were chatting up Bella." She accused and I held up a hand.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Alice, we just met her." She smiled.
"So? She's cute." She told me and I shrugged.
"Oh, come on, Emmett. You don't think she's cute?" She asked and I shook my head.
"I think she has bigger things to worry about than if some big oaf thinks she's cute." I mumbled and she sighed, looking out the window. I glanced to her uncomfortably.
Did I think Bella was cute? I mean…yeah. But I hadn't really thought about it. And I likely never would.
"I don't see why you limit yourself, Emmett." She told me and I shrugged.
"I'm not." She scoffed.
"Fucking girls like Jess and Lauren, never accepting anything real into your life, is pretty limiting." She quipped and I sighed.
"I'm just fine with my choices, Al." I told her and she shook her head.
"Are you though? Today with Bella you were so…tender. I never see you give that part of yourself to anyone." I gave her a side glance.
"What, I'm not that way with you?" I asked and she nodded.
"Yeah me, but I meant anyone else. Don't think I didn't notice how happy you were, sharing food and trying to make her comfortable. You were feeding off it." I sighed, knowing I shouldn't say.
"Ok but…there's a reason for that." I told her, not wanting her to play matchmaker with Jasper's cousin. She rolled her eyes again.
"Yea. Sure." She told me frustrated and I turned down our driveway.
"I'm serious." I told her and she huffed, taking her belt off and turning to face me.
"What then. What has you jumping through hoops for this girl besides catching feelings?" she asked expectantly. I took a deep breath, turning to face her too.
"Al…Bella is…hurting." I told her, knowing Jasper just might kill me. But after today I knew she needed to know. Not only could she set back Bella's progress by not knowing, but she could also be of help. She gave me a confused look.
"What do you mean?" she asked and I grabbed her hand.
"Bella is hurting…the way…you were hurting." I told her, trying to be delicate. She watched me for a moment before her face went blank.
"...what?" she asked and I nodded, squeezing her hand.
"Bella has been struggling with an eating disorder for about 10 months now." I explained and saw tears forming in her eyes.
"Oh my God…" she whispered.
"That's why I was so careful with her today. She's in a very delicate place and I'm trying to help Jasper. I know more about this stuff than he does and Bella seemed to respond to me. But…she also reminds me of you. And if I could help someone else with this knowledge…I want to try." I told her and she shook her head.
"Oh…God. Oh my God I was horrible to her. I…I hassled her about lunch for so long! I…I forced her to go out and eat in public!" She was crying steadily now and I pulled her in for a tight hug. I knew she would feel guilty for today…I didn't want to multiply that guilt by months. She would find out eventually…it's better for everyone if she knew sooner than later.
"It's ok." I told her but she pushed on my chest, breaking out of the hug.
"It's not ok! How…how could I do that to someone? I hated when people would do that to me…it made me feel like…oh my God." She cried, putting her head in her hands. I gave her a sad look, knowing how much Alice had struggled. She just beat anorexia this past summer after struggling for years. Since then, she has put on 20lbs and been doing amazing. It's hard to get the image of my already tiny sister at 80lbs out of my head…it was scarring.
"Look at how well she did though. Jasper told me that before Saturday, she couldn't even remember when her last meal was. And today she sat in a coffee house with us and ate. She did amazing." She took a deep breath. "You can be there for her. You're probably the most qualified out of all of us to actually help. You can make a difference in her life." I told her and she nodded, wiping her tears.
"She really did respond to you." She told me and I nodded.
"Yeah…surprisingly." I told her and she gave me a confused look.
"What do you mean?"
"Well…she can't be anywhere near me without cringing away. So…I didn't expect her to have that level of comfort with me." She nodded.
"Why is that?" she asked and I sighed.
"Well…Jasper said that Bella's ex-boyfriend is abusive." Her eyes went wide.
"Oh my God…poor Bella." She whispered and I nodded.
"The conversation was cut short when you and Bella came back from the washroom so that's all I know. But she's nervous around guys. I have to be careful around her…I can't give her any reason to get startled or scared, or she could cut me off altogether. That's why I've been so…'tender' as you put it. I'm trying to help Jasper out and need to be extra gentle with her." She nodded, wiping her eyes.
"Right…that makes sense." She told me and I nodded, waiting for her to process everything.
"You did a great job with her today. I'm really proud you're my brother." She told me and I smiled softly to her. I pulled her in for another hug and sighed.
When Alice was sick…I was a mess. I spent hours and hours a day researching and practicing ways to help her. I did everything I could to try to understand her disease and never gave up. It took two and a half years but she finally pulled through the other side…but I'm still afraid. I'm afraid she will relapse. I'm afraid she isn't as ok as she seems...I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing and causing her to regress.
I couldn't imagine a life without my twin…and it crushes me that I ever had to consider that possibility. We pulled away and she sighed.
"I really hope Bella doesn't hate me now." She said and I shook my head.
"She won't hate you."
"Yeah but…*sigh*. I just feel terrible. I can't believe I didn't even notice just how skinny she is." I nodded.
"She's unbelievably tiny. Her clothes hid it a bit better today but Saturday…Jesus Christ. She's just skin and bone." I told her and watched Alice wipe a tear.
"We can help her…right? We need to help her." I nodded, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"Of course we can, Al. I'll do everything I can to get her healthy again." I told her and she nodded, giving my hand a squeeze.
I needed to help Bella. If not for Jasper…for Alice.
Bella POV
Two weeks had passed since I started at Forks High. I'd settled in for the most part, spending almost every day with Jasper and his friends. I had reserved last weekend to spend with my dad, but Jasper knew he was on nights this weekend and jumped on the opportunity to steal me away. I sighed, looking in the mirror one last time nervously. I was wearing my black yoga pants which actually fit really well, the spandex material hugging my legs nicely. I paired it with a deep green long sleeve shirt and grey hoodie. I'd put on a couple pounds since arriving in Forks, which I kept reminding myself was a good thing.
Today I was going to Jasper's to hang out with him, Alice, and Emmett. They had planned an easy night in…snacks, movies, video games. Kerri and Ben were taking Caleb to a big indoor playground in Seattle and spending the weekend at a hotel water park.
I heard the door open downstairs and knew it was Jasper here to pick me up. I grabbed my duffle off my bed full of my overnight supplies and shut off my light. I tiptoed past my dad's door and down the stairs, not wanting to wake him. It would be a lot easier to be at Jasper's while my dad slept during the day.
I rounded the corner to the living room to see Emmett standing in the middle of the room.
"Uh…hi." I said and he turned to me, smiling apologetically.
"Hey…Jasper told me not to knock because of your dad…" I nodded, still confused.
"Ok…" I could see him give me a once over and felt a bit insecure under his gaze. I subconsciously put my arms around myself and he looked back up to my eyes.
"I'm here to pick you up. Jasper and Alice got caught up in the kitchen making snacks and asked me to come." I nodded.
"You sure they didn't just want alone time?" I asked with a smirk and his face went blank.
"Son of a bitch…" He mumbled and I laughed. He looked to me and grinned.
"Oh well…you ready?" he asked and I nodded. My stomach grumbled loudly and he looked back to me.
"Have you had breakfast?" he asked me, trying to sound casual. I eyed him for a moment before shaking my head.
"Uh…no. I haven't had anything yet." He nodded and pointed to the kitchen.
"Want to grab something?" I shook my head.
"Not really…Jasper told me he's having loads of food and I…" I trailed off nervously and he gave me a comforting look. I sighed.
"It's…embarrassing. Knowing my food intake will be…assessed. If I can't eat, I'll just feel uncomfortable. So, I'm saving my appetite." He nodded.
"Ok…that's fair." I gave him a surprised look.
"Really? Just like that?" I asked and he shrugged.
"Bella I'm not here to challenge you. I know this is hard. I know you can't just magically start eating three meals a day. My only goal here is to check in and make sure you're ok…remind you that it's ok to eat." He told me and I smiled slightly.
"How…how do you know so much about this?" I asked him quietly and he scratched his neck uncomfortably.
"Someone…close to me…struggled with anorexia for years. I did a lot of research to help and try to understand. That's why Jasper told me…I mean…I kind of knew…" I sighed and wrapped my arms around my middle. "But he mainly just…wanted to make sure he was doing the right thing. He cares about you a lot." I nodded.
"I know." I said quietly.
"You don't need to be self-conscious around us." I stayed quiet and he walked over to me slowly, moving to put his hands on my arms, but let his hands fall to his sides. I tensed at the lack of distance between us.
"You don't. Really…not about how much you do or don't eat…what you wear…how you look. Just…relax. It's a safe zone." He told me and I forced a smile, glancing between his face and hands.
I had been trying for two weeks now to fight the nervousness I felt around Emmett but it was still too fresh. I didn't want anyone near me, let alone someone that reminded me so much of Aaron.
"Uh…we should…probably go." He told me, taking a step back. I knew he sensed my unease but I didn't really have the head space to worry about that. I nodded and went to grab my bag, but he snagged it first. I walked to the door to put my shoes on and tripped over his shoe. He grabbed my waist to steady me and my immediate reaction was to push his hands off me. I spun around to look at him and saw his hands up defensively, a nervous look on his face.
"Bella, I'm sorry. I…I didn't think, I just didn't want you to fall." He spoke quickly and I felt tears forming in my eyes. The entryway was a cramped space and he was so close. I could still feel his hands on me and I stepped back towards the door. I needed air.
I quickly opened the door and stumbled outside, taking a few deep breaths. He didn't follow right away, realizing I needed space. I walked to his jeep after a few moments, hearing him finally close the door and walk to his side. I hopped into the passenger seat and just sat there for a moment. He climbed into the driver's seat and I chanced a look at him.
He was sitting there quietly, looking at his hands. I could see he was upset and I realized why.
"You know…don't you." I asked him. He glanced nervously to me and shrugged.
"Know what." He mumbled. I took a deep breath, looking out the windshield. I closed my eyes trying to build the courage.
"You know…about Aaron." I said quietly and he was silent. I nodded, knowing it was an admission of guilt.
"So, Jasper knows then." I mumbled and could feel his eyes on me.
"Wait…you didn't tell Jasper?" he asked and I shook my head.
"No. Which means my dad did." I rubbed my face with my hands and sighed.
"Oh…"
"What did Jasper tell you? How much do you both know?" I asked and he shifted in his seat.
"I mean…almost nothing really. Jasper said…uh…he said your ex…was abusive. But that he had no details or anything. I just…I didn't know why you…seemed to hate me so much." He told me quietly and I groaned, finally turning to face him.
"Emmett…I don't hate you." I told him sternly and he looked to me, his eyes sad.
"You…you do kind of…cringe away from me more than anyone else I've seen. It really seems like you can't stand to be around me. Or…that I scare you more than anyone else does." I watched him for a few seconds before sighing.
"I guess…you're not wrong." I told him and saw his face fall. He suddenly found his hands very interesting and I rubbed my forehead.
"Oh…"
"Not…like that. Emmett, I really don't hate you." He stayed quiet and I sighed, feeling terrible.
"I…ugh. Ok. I'm about to tell you something…but you cannot tell anyone. Not even Jasper." I felt my hands shaking as his eyes snapped up to meet mine. He looked confused and I took a deep breath, gripping my phone.
"My ex-boyfriend Aaron…he was…really abusive." I looked down to my phone, not able to maintain eye contact.
"I won't get into detail…but it was…bad. He…he was mentally, emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive. He…he's the one that…started this." I explained, motioning to my body.
"He…what?" he asked and I nodded, still afraid to look up.
"He would always tell me how fat I was and how he was embarrassed to be seen with me. He started encouraging me to eat healthier…and when that wasn't to his liking, he…he just started discouraging me from eating at all. Then it was…physically enforced." I chanced a look to him and saw pure anger on his face. It scared me to see that amount of anger in his eyes. I quickly looked back to my phone before I lost my nerve.
"I uh…he…he hurt me. A lot. I had new bruises on a daily basis near the end. I didn't even break up with him in person because…" but I couldn't get the words out.
"…because you were afraid he would…" I sighed and nodded. Emmett fell silent and after a few moments I let out a deep breath.
"That was…sixteen days ago." I confessed and heard him swear under his breath.
"So up until sixteen days ago you were…" I nodded.
"Still getting beaten up. Bruises weren't usually in obvious places but…he did get bold once in a while." I looked to him and saw his face had fallen completely. He looked like he was in pain.
"I…I have a really hard time being around you." I told him and he shook his head.
"Bella…I would never hurt you." He insisted and I nodded.
"And I know that…I do. I just…" I watched his eyes for a moment before sighing and turning to my phone. I unlocked it and went to my gallery, finding the picture I was looking for. I held it to my chest and turned to him.
"I'm so sorry you think I hate you. The truth is…I think you're incredibly kind. You've…you've made me feel so comfortable and I owe almost all three pounds I've put on in the last two weeks to you." I saw his eyes fill with pride but couldn't find myself able to feel lighter. I sighed and looked down to my hands.
"I…ugh. Here." I finished lamely and handed him my phone. He took it and when he didn't speak, I looked up to his face. He looked confused.
"I don't get it…" I felt tears in my eyes and bit my lip.
"That's…that's Aaron." I told him. He looked at the picture again and I saw his face go blank.
"He looks just like me." He said quietly and I nodded.
"Yeah…" I exhaled and he stayed silent for a solid minute analyzing the picture. He ran his hand through his hair and exhaled loudly.
"How can you even stand to be near me?" he whispered and I took a deep breath.
"Honestly? It was tough at first. When you showed up at Jasper's my first night here...I thought I was going to die." He looked to me and I could see pain in his eyes. I softened. "But...you give me a million reasons every day to see you're like... the exact opposite of Aaron. I do know you won't hurt me. I just...I don't like to be touched. And when that initial shock spikes at being touched and I look up and I see..." I trailed off looking up to him and saw him wince. I sighed and shook my head.
"I don't want to hurt you..." I told him and he shook his head.
"Are you kidding? You shouldn't be worried about that..." He told me looking back to the picture. I started to feel immense guilt. I reached for my phone but he held onto it, staring at it. It was a picture of Aaron and myself from about seven months ago.
"You look...so different." He told me and I felt immediately self-conscious.
"Yeah... that was like thirty pounds ago." I told him and he sighed.
"You don't look happy." I eyed him for a moment before shrugging.
"I wasn't." He looked to me and gave me a sad smile.
"You look happier now." He commented.
"I am." I said softly and he sighed, turning back to the picture.
"Emmett, don't torture yourself." I told him but he didn't budge.
"Emmett." I reached for the phone but he held onto it tighter. I don't know what came over me but seeing his reaction to this whole mess made me feel way more trusting of him.
"Em..." I whispered and put my hand on his arm. He froze, looking to my hand and slowly to my face. He looked nervous and I just shook my head. "Don't." I told him and he softened. I grabbed the phone and locked it, putting it on my lap. His arm dropped to his side and I gave his forearm a squeeze.
"I'm so sorry for how I've treated you." I told him honestly and he shook his head.
"Why are you apologizing. You have nothing to be sorry for." I shook my head.
"I've been really cold toward you."
"I see why." He told me, pain flashing over his face. I turned in my seat and properly faced him, putting my hand on his. He glanced down and back up to me quickly. It was as if he was afraid to move.
"Hey, no. Yes, you remind me of him. But... you also don't. I'm really glad I told you...seeing your reaction...I feel...better." I told him and he seemed surprised.
"Better?" he asked and I nodded.
"Surprisingly...yeah. I feel like...I can see how different you two are now. I think I really needed that." I told him and he glanced to my hand again.
"You're not...afraid?" He asked and I looked to our hands and smiled.
"No." I said and he smiled back. He scooped my hand in his and I didn't flinch or feel any amount of nervousness. Seeing how devastated he was that I was comparing him to the person that hurt me...it made me feel like I could truly trust him. And I also knew that he wanted nothing but my friendship. It felt really nice to actually feel like I had a friend...no matter how many times I'd told myself I didn't need friends.
"I'd never hurt you. The thought of hurting anyone like that...I..." he trailed off and I felt his grip on my hand tighten. I gave him a moment to process everything I'd told him. I kind of needed that moment myself. I'd just told one of my biggest secrets to a guy I'd only known two weeks. Was I crazy?
I heard him sigh and looked over to see him looking at my hand in his large one.
"Is he...he looks..." I nodded, knowing what he was trying to ask.
"Yeah...he's a big guy." I told him and he glanced to me.
"Like...my size?" he asked, analyzing how small my hand looked in his. I nodded.
"Yeah...roughly. He might be a bit shorter." I told him and he nodded, staying quiet. After another minute he spoke.
"And he'd...he'd...hurt you...uh..." I gave him a moment to sort out his thoughts. "He was still hurting you two weeks ago?" he asked and I nodded slowly.
"Yeah." I whispered and felt his hand tighten more. I looked at our hands and couldn't help but feel amused. Five minutes ago, I'd be terrified. Now...it was as if Jasper was holding my hand. Emmett wanted me to gain weight. He wanted me to eat and be healthy and was devastated at my confession. It made me feel safe.
"But you're so small." He said quietly and I stayed silent, knowing he was sizing us up. Going a round with Aaron was painful eight months ago let alone now. It took nothing for him to knock me over...and the bruises were really bad. That's why he was so careful not to bruise my face...he knew covering those were almost impossible.
Emmett looked to me and shook his head.
"That's just..." he trailed off, searching my eyes for the right word. "Disgusting." He whispered and I took a deep breath.
"It wasn't easy." I told him and he nodded.
"Thank you for trusting me with this." He told me and I nodded.
"Please...don't tell anyone." I asked and he nodded, but gave me a confused look.
"I won't...but if Jasper already knows...what's the harm in you telling him?" he asked and I sighed, looking at our hands. He'd started to rub his thumb over my hand and it felt kind of nice.
"When I told my dad...he gave me that look. You look at me and you see me but...my dad looks at me and he sees the baby he carried home in his arms. He sees the little kid that would spend summers here making mud pies. He sees his little girl." I shrugged. "I know Jasper would give me that same look and it hurts too much to see it right now." He nodded in understanding.
"Will you tell him eventually?" He asked and I nodded.
"I will. I just don't have the energy right now. It did feel good to get it out though." I told him and he smiled.
"As much as I hated hearing it...I'm glad you told me. I didn't know what I was doing wrong...and when Jasper told me...I just...I felt helpless. I wanted so badly to be able to help you with everything but I didn't know what I could or couldn't do. I don't want you to be scared of me." He finished in a whisper. I squeezed his hand and he looked up to my eyes.
"I'm not. Not anymore..." I told him quietly and he nodded. He took a deep breath and gave my hand a squeeze before letting go, reaching for his belt. I found myself missing the warmth of his hand immediately. It had been so long since anyone not related to me had touched me so softly...it was addictive.
"We should probably get going." He told me and I nodded, adjusting myself and putting my belt on too.
Emmett POV
We drove with minimal chit chat, mainly listening to the radio. I was itching to tell Jasper what I'd learned but I knew I couldn't. If Bella was finally ready to talk but not ready to speak to Jasper, I needed to show her I was trustworthy. One of us knowing is better than none of us knowing what's going on with her. I glanced to her as she stared out the window humming the song playing and I couldn't help but want to touch her. Not in the way I'm sure Alice would take it...I just wanted to protect her. She already reminded me of my twin, and hearing her speak about her ex and the way he hurt her...I gripped the steering wheel hard at the thought. She is so tiny...I couldn't imagine someone my size putting his hands on her. There was no doubt in my mind...if she had stayed with that guy...he would have killed her.
We walked into the house to find Jasper and Alice giggling and flirting in the kitchen, flour on Jasper's nose. Bella smirked to me and I shook my head, trying not to smile. She knew it got under my skin.
"Well, well, well. What took so long?" Alice asked and Bella shrugged.
"Just chatting." She told them, sitting at the island. I dropped Bella's bag on the table and came to sit beside her. I saw Jasper do a double take at how close I had gotten to Bella without her shying away and gave him a small smile. He came up and gave Bella a kiss on the temple. I could hear her sigh quietly at the contact and it made me want to touch her again. I knew I'd have to reel it in. I wasn't entirely sure why I felt such a pull to Bella. I wasn't the type to want to worry about a damsel in distress but she just seemed so fragile and I could see what a good person she was. If I could do something to give her peace or comfort...I wanted to help. I looked up to see Alice and Jasper watching me curiously – I had been staring at Bella. I shook my head and cleared my throat.
"Getting a lot of baking done I see." I told them and they both flushed red. Jasper scratched his neck and shrugged.
"I mean...we did get some done." He told us and Bella laughed.
"How many batches?" she asked and they looked at the bowl nervously.
"Well...we have enough for three batches." Alice replied and Bella's eyes danced with amusement.
"Uh huh, and how many are done?"
"One." Jasper told her, trying not to smile. She grinned at him and shook her head.
"Well, well, well. What's taking so long, cousin?" she asked and I laughed.
"Come on, Bella. Let's let the bakers bake. I'm sure there's something good on TV." She winked at Jasper who avoided my eyes entirely. I saw her eyeing the brownies they had made and grabbed two before motioning for her to follow me. She hopped off the stool and grabbed two napkins before waving goodbye to them. I led her downstairs and dropped onto the couch. She sat beside me and eagerly accepted the brownie I'd taken for her. For some reason, I cared less about the thought of Jasper upstairs flirting with my sister.
"Do you know how long it's been since I've had a brownie?" she asked eyeing it. I shrugged.
"Not counting the two bites of mine...I'm guessing a very long time." She nodded.
"Yeah, baked goods were like the first thing to go." She confessed and I watched her for a moment. She seemed conflicted.
"What's wrong?" I asked her and she sighed.
"I desperately want this. It's just...hard." she told me and I nodded. I felt nervous but knew I wanted to test the waters. I put my hand on her knee like I'd seen Jasper do and instead of jerking away, she looked to my hand and quickly up to my face. I didn't see fear in her eyes though, so I kept my hand in place.
"Hey...don't ever feel like you can't eat something around me. It's just us...and I really want you to enjoy it. One bite...the entire thing...whatever you want." I encouraged and she hesitated before smiling. She nodded and looked back to her brownie. I pulled my hand back and she glanced to her knee before refocusing on her brownie. I took a bite of mine and grabbed the remote off the coffee table. I started flicking through Netflix before landing on How I Met Your Mother.
"You know...I've never actually watched this." She confessed and I turned to her horrified.
"Excuse me?" I asked and she grinned at my reaction.
"Wow! No need for the attitude!" I laughed and shook my head.
"Yes, there is a need. You should be ashamed." I told her and she laughed. "You are watching this." I insisted and put on the pilot. She smiled and finally took a small bite of her brownie. She sighed happily and sank back into the couch.
"It's good isn't it." I commented and she nodded.
"Jesus Christ." She whispered and I laughed, leaning back beside her, taking a bite of my brownie as well. I was trying to make it last longer than I normally would so she didn't need to eat alone. I saw her eye me, realizing what I was doing. She smiled softly.
"Thanks." She whispered and I nodded. We turned to the TV and ate quietly. She got halfway through hers and glanced to me.
"You all done?" I asked and she nodded. I held out my hand and she gave me the other half of her brownie and I ate it in two bites. She settled back into the couch and after a few minutes she shivered.
"Here." I told her and reached behind her to grab the blanket off the back of the couch. I handed it to her and she took it thankfully, wrapping herself up in it.
"Thanks, I'm always cold." She mumbled and I nodded.
"I can imagine. Nothing to keep you warm." She nodded.
"Yeah, it's bullshit." She told me and I chuckled. She laid back against the middle of the sectional, stretching her legs out but stopping before she hit my leg. I reached under the blanket and touched her foot and could feel how cold they were through her socks.
"Jesus...here." I wrapped her feet in the blanket and rubbed my hands over them quickly to warm them up. It took her a moment but she melted into the couch with a small sigh and I couldn't help but feel proud that I could make her comfortable. I'd never wanted to be such good friends with a girl before, but Bella seemed to bring that out in me. I had a real soft spot for her and was glad I could finally act on it.
We watched a few episodes before Bella started to drift to sleep, so I switched to The Office so she wouldn't miss anything. I wasn't joking, I was going to make her watch the whole series.
After another half hour, I heard footsteps and Jasper and Alice came into the room. I saw them both stop instantly, seeing Bella's feet on my lap, my hand resting on her leg as she slept.
"Uh...what's going on?" Jasper asked, pointing to my hands. I took a deep breath, hoping he wouldn't be mad.
"Well...Bella and I had a good talk." I started and he eyed me, his face stern. I could see his protective side coming through. "She... she told me some stuff. And because of that...she's ok with me now." I told him and his eyes narrowed.
"What do you mean." He asked, glancing to my hand and I held my free hand up.
"No... no. Not like that." I insisted and could see Alice's eyes wide and hopeful. I shook my head. "No, Alice. I mean she's ok with us being friends." She gave me a disappointed look but Jasper seemed relieved.
"What did she tell you?" he asked, sitting on the chair and looking to her. I looked over and saw how peaceful she looked and smiled.
"I uh...I can't tell you." I told him nervously and looked over to see him giving me a confused look.
"What? Why not?" he asked and I sighed.
"She...she asked me not to." I saw his face twist into frustration and held up my hand to stop him. "Look, man. She's just afraid. She's afraid to upset you. She said she doesn't have the energy for it right now but that she is going to tell you." He sighed, looking to her again.
"Can you at least tell me what it was about?" He asked and I looked to Bella, seeing her shoulders moving rhythmically.
"She told me about...about Aaron." His face fell into shock and he leaned forward in his seat. Alice stood beside him and crossed her arms.
"Wait...is that the ex?" she asked and I nodded.
"She told you about...their relationship?" Jasper asked and I nodded.
"A bit. She told me what I kind of needed to know in order to tell me...something really crazy." I explained and I figured that was one thing I could share. He looked to me nervously and I glanced to her again.
"She told me...why she's so afraid of me." I told him and looked to see his face twist into confusion. I could tell that wasn't what he was expecting. I could feel myself getting angry again at the thought of his picture. I softly rubbed her leg and found it helped me to relax. She shifted in her sleep, pushing her feet further into my stomach and I took a deep breath.
"Apparently, Aaron looks just like me." I told them quietly and saw Jasper's eyes narrow.
"What?" he asked and I nodded. Alice whipped her phone out quickly.
"What's his last name, Jasper?" She asked and he shrugged.
"Uh...I honestly have no idea." He told her and she started searching Facebook.
"Aaron...Aaron...Aaron Giles?" she asked. She must have found him because her eyes got wide.
"Holy shit...he does look like you." She said quietly and Jasper stood up and grabbed her phone.
"What?!" he whispered and glanced to me and back to the phone. "Jesus..."
"Wait...he's...Jasper this guy is huge." Alice told him quietly and he looked closer to the pictures she was scrolling through. I saw his face turn hard.
"This prick put his hands on Bella?" he bit and I looked to her, not even wanting to think about it. I rubbed her leg again, not wanting to be angry around her. I felt a responsibility to keep my anger under control when I'm near her.
"Did she tell you what he did to her?" Jasper asked me and I sighed.
"Man... I can't say. She did talk about him...about how he treated her. But I promised her I wouldn't tell. And if she's talking to at least one of us, I don't want to ruin that." He looked frustrated but nodded in defeat. He sat back on the chair and huffed.
"Yeah, I guess. I should probably just be glad she's talking." He told me but I could tell he was bummed that she wasn't talking to him.
"She's just comfortable because I don't know her as well as you do. She said it's hard to upset you and her dad." I told him, trying to ease his mind. He nodded and looked back to my hand on her leg.
"So how did that happen?" he asked, motioning to my hand on Bella's legs. I felt nervous, knowing how protective he was of her. I shrugged.
"Honestly...it was a bit spur of the moment. She tripped and I grabbed her before she could fall and it upset her. I felt terrible and she just...felt compelled to tell me why she was so nervous around me. When she showed me his picture...I felt like shit. I don't know how she hasn't lost her mind being around me the last two weeks. But...I guess finally telling me and seeing how upset it made me...she said it made her feel way more comfortable. It doesn't bother her anymore being near me."
"Or being touched by you, apparently." He commented and I shook my head.
"Man, it's not like that. She reminds me of Al... I just want to make sure she's alright." I told him and he softened. He knew I told Alice two weeks ago and wasn't angry. He realized Alice not knowing could cause a lot of damage.
"Ok...just...not my cousin, Emmett. This is the only warning I'll give." He told me and I looked between Alice and Jasper pointedly and saw them both shift uncomfortably.
"Warning?" I asked and he cleared his throat.
"I mean don't... she's not a Jess. She isn't a fuck buddy." He clarified and I shook my head.
"I would never do that to you." I told him and he nodded.
"Just...if something is bad...if she's not ok..." he started and I nodded.
"I will absolutely tell you anything you need to know." I assured and he nodded.
"Thanks. Just take care of her?" he asked and I nodded, looking to her. She shifted again in her sleep and I patted her leg.
"I will." I told him and watched her eyes open. She glanced at Alice and Jasper before looking to me.
"Oh no... I fell asleep." She mumbled and I chuckled.
"Yeah, a while ago." She sighed, sitting up and stretching.
"Sorry guys." She told us and Jasper shook his head, smiling to her.
"No worries, Alice and I just finished. Now you're rested for the real fun." He told her and she smiled to me.
"Hey, that show was good." She told him and I nodded.
"You're damn right it is." I told her and she laughed, nudging me. I saw Jasper eye the contact but let it go. She sat back into the couch beside me, wrapping the blanket around herself. Jasper came over to sit beside her and Alice perched herself on the other side of the sectional, sitting close to Jasper. They unwrapped a blanket as well and I watched Alice offer part of it to Jasper. He nodded with a smile and they both slid under the blanket together. I shared a look with Bella and she tried not to laugh. We watched a few episodes of The Office before Alice reached over Jasper, motioning to me.
"Ok! Movie time. Hand it over." She told me and I reached over Bella to give her the remote. I felt Bella lean into me and tried not to smile. I tossed my arm around her shoulders and she stiffened, but slowly settled into my side. I looked to Jasper who seemed surprised, but nervously glanced to Alice. He looked to me and I gave him a small smile and a nod. He at least deserved my approval. I felt Bella shift and saw her looking up at me, her eyes questioning. I smiled big and pulled her in closer, knowing she was also looking for approval. She wanted to make sure it wasn't weird. And really…it didn't feel weird at all. For some reason it felt like the most normal thing in the world. Her face relaxed and she twisted so she was tucked into my side, her head resting against my chest. I kept my arm around her protectively, feeling like I needed to envelop her to keep her safe. I could see Jasper put his arm around Alice out of the corner of my eye and stifled a chuckle. At least she seemed to feel the same way. I tucked Bella's blanket around her and ran my thumb over her arm, watching the TV screen change to the movie Alice wanted first.
"Oooo The Martian! I've been wanting to see this." Bella told us and I chuckled.
"You haven't seen this either?" I asked and she shrugged.
"I don't get out much." She joked but I knew it was true. I held her a bit tighter as we settled in to watch the movie.
I heard her sniffle as the movie ended and grinned down to her. She sat up a bit straighter and turned to me, wiping her eyes.
"Shut up." She told me and I chuckled.
"Hey I didn't say anything."
"Did you like it?" Alice asked her and she nodded.
"It was so good." Bella told her taking a deep breath. She grabbed her water and sat back into the couch, tucked into my side. I could feel her relax at the contact.
"What's next?" Jasper asked Alice who smiled to him. They had spent the movie cuddling under Alice's blanket.
"Well, if we want to order food, we should probably do that." She told him, looking at the time. I felt Bella tense slightly and I rubbed her arm softly.
"What are you guys thinking?" Jasper asked and I shrugged.
"Anything you don't want?" I asked Bella and she looked to me with wide eyes. She relaxed slightly after a moment and shrugged.
"Um…anything but pizza." She told me and I nodded.
"Really? No pizza?" Jasper asked and she looked down to her water bottle.
"Nope." Jasper and I shared a confused look, but he dropped it. I could feel her tense and I gave her arm a squeeze. She shivered a bit and stood up, walking over to the mini fridge and grabbed another bottle of water. She came back and sat in the chair facing us. I felt my chest tighten, not sure what I did wrong. She wouldn't even look at me.
"Ok…how about…Chinese?" Jasper asked. I looked to Bella to gage her reaction but she didn't look up. I looked nervously to Jasper who shrugged
"Hey why don't you guys go grab a few menus from upstairs?" Alice asked us and gave us a look. She wanted alone time with Bella.
"Sure." Jasper agreed, standing. I followed him to the stairs, glancing back at Bella. We were making such great progress…what did I do?
Bella POV
"Are you ok?" Alice asked me as the guys disappeared up the stairs. I glanced up to her and nervously tucked my hair behind me ear.
"Yeah…yeah of course." I lied. I felt stupid that such a random thing would trigger such traumatic memories…but I couldn't help it.
"I know we don't know each other very well…but…I can tell something upset you. You don't have to tell me anything. I just want you to know I'm here for you. I just want you to be ok." She told me sincerely and I felt my eyes welling with tears. She gave me an encouraging smile and came to sit on the coffee table in front of me.
"Hey…it's ok. Whatever it is, you can tell me." She told me softly and I looked down, sniffling. "Is it…that you're nervous to eat?" she asked and I looked up quickly.
"They told you?" I asked and her eyes flashed with fear.
"Oh…um…" She stammered and I sighed.
"It's…fine." I said, waving my hand. I was starting to feel like I had no privacy.
"Emmett did tell me…but only because of my behaviour two weeks ago. Bella, I'm so sorry for hassling you about lunch your first day here. Had I known…I would never have treated you that way." She told me, her eyes mirroring my own tears. I softened at her apology and sighed.
"It's ok." I told her and she wiped a few tears.
"You can trust my brother…I promise." She told me and I sighed again, looking down. "Really, you can. He didn't want to tell me…but he knew I could really screw up your progress and wanted to help." She told me and I nodded. It did make sense now that I seem to be spending most of my time with them. "You feel comfortable with him, don't you." She stated and I shrugged.
"Yeah…yeah I suppose." I did feel comfortable with him. But that comfort was new and spotty…I didn't really want to admit how safe he made me feel. She laughed.
"He's like the one person other than Jasper that can even touch you, girl!" I stayed silent and she went quiet too.
"I'm sorry…did that cross a line?" she asked and I shook my head.
"No…it's ok. You're not wrong." She smiled.
"That's not a bad thing. It's good to have friends you can count on. And you can definitely count on Emmett." She told me and I nodded. He really was sweet.
"He does make me feel a bit better." I confessed and she nodded.
"Lean into that feeling. Anything to keep progress moving forward. We are all really proud of you, Bella." She told me and I smiled sincerely.
"I'm really sorry if I was…cold with you. It's been a rough start." I said, feeling guilty. I'd purposely created a distance between myself and them, not wanting to get hurt again. She shook her head.
"No that's ok. I totally understand…you have a lot going on." I nodded.
"Yeah…sometimes it's pretty overwhelming." She nodded.
"I bet. You're only human, Bella. No one expects you to just be better. We know this comes with good days and bad. But we are here to make the good days great and the bad days more bearable." I smiled and nodded. She grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.
"Are you also friends with that girl?" I asked and she gave me a confused look.
"What girl?" She asked.
"Jasper and Emmett said they are close friends with someone that beat her eating disorder. Do you know her too?" I asked and she gave me a knowing look.
"Oh…yes. Sorry…uh…I am. Her and I are very close." I nodded and felt her grip on my hand tighten.
"Bella if you need anything. You can call me. I will be there day or night, ok?" she told me, tears slipping down her cheeks. I nodded and felt guilty.
"Don't cry, Alice. I'm sorry." I told her and she shook her head, pulling me into a tight hug.
"I'm here for you." She cried and I held her tightly too. I felt terrible for making her cry.
I heard Jasper and Emmett come back down the stairs but Alice refused to let go. I gave her a few moments before she reluctantly pulled away, running her hands over my arms and looking down to my body. She winced and looked back up to me.
"You're doing amazing." She told me with a smile and I took a deep breath and nodded. She looked up to the guys and sighed, wiping her eyes. I saw them give Alice comforting looks and Emmett came over and kissed the top of her head.
"You ok, Al?" he asked and she nodded.
"Yeah."
"So…I hate to kill the mood. Um…but Edward just texted me. He's on his way over." Jasper told us and I saw Emmett tense, glancing to me.
"What? We agreed it was just us this weekend." Alice said, looking to Jasper and he shrugged.
"Apparently he thought we all had plans and said he's on his way." She sighed and turned to me.
"You good with that?" she asked and I nodded nervously. I wasn't…but I wasn't going to be the one to cast someone off. Especially when I'm the outsider here.
I looked to my hands and took a deep breath, my appetite slowly fading away.
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