Chapter Six
There's a couple billion people in the world
And a million other places we could be, but you're here with me
Take a moment just to take it in
'Cause every high and every low led to this
I'm just so glad you exist
Bella POV
I felt my eyes flutter as sunlight assaulted my face. I blinked a few times, waiting for my eyes to adjust, feeling a weight on top of me. I moved my hand and felt warm skin, causing me to fully open my eyes. I was securely tucked into Emmett's side, his arm wrapped around me and his other hand on mine, which laid on his chest. I watched it rise and fall slowly, showing he was still fast asleep. I thought back to the events last night and felt deep embarrassment and anxiety.
I'd spilled so much of my story to him. I remembered his words to me though.
'I'm not leaving your side...ever. Not unless you send me away.'
I smiled at his response and took a deep breath. Maybe this was a good thing. Clearly locking it all inside wasn't helping. I only ate because my dad either made me or because Emmett made me feel safe. I have nightmares every night. I was constantly worried about losing everything I had and being left all alone.
And then Emmett completely broke down every expectation I had. I didn't plan to make friends here or find someone like Emmett…but I needed it. Being with Emmett just made me feel better. He made me feel safe and comfortable, as if I knew nothing else mattered. It didn't matter that I was 93lbs. It didn't matter that 2.5 weeks ago I was still getting punched or assaulted. It didn't matter that I felt like I could never be enough for them.
Emmett wanted me right here. He didn't have to help me or be so caring…but he wanted to.
I thought back to the way our night ended and sighed. I knew I wasn't as attractive as those other girls, I didn't need anyone to confirm or deny it. I knew it was laughable to think Emmett would ever want me in a sexual way, but I was ok with that. I didn't want to be wanted that way…and I knew Emmett never would. Last night, he was just saying what friends say.
Hearing that Emmett was a player didn't really bother me, it didn't affect the way he treated me. He also said he wasn't one for relationships and even though it made me feel sad for him, I could understand it. I don't know that I could ever put myself back together enough to let myself be loved. I didn't know if the gapping hole in my chest would ever be able to heal from Aaron; if I would be able to trust another guy to be intimate with me.
With Emmett, I didn't need to worry about any of that. He didn't date, and he'd never want to hook up with me. I could just enjoy his friendship and closeness. I wouldn't lie and say I didn't notice how gorgeous he was. I watched his muscular chest move rhythmically as he breathed in and out. He was like a work of art.
His eyes, his smile, his jaw, his shoulders, his arms…his abs – dear lord. He was beautiful. But he was also beyond sweet and caring. He was kind and humble and beautiful inside too. One day he would make someone very lucky. He'd realize he wanted to have one amazing person in his life and he'd settle down. That girl will be so incredibly blessed. I smiled at the thought, knowing he deserved someone equally beautiful inside and out.
But for now, I would soak in his amazing qualities and commit them to memory, because one day this will all end. It won't be me he's holding hands with or cuddling through the night. I could accept that…I wouldn't have a choice.
I drew small circles on his chest, seeing goosebumps start to appear. He stirred a bit and I looked up to see his face turn to annoyance and I pulled my hand away, feeling guilty. He opened his eyes and blinked away the sun. His eyes found me and he looked surprised.
"Oh right. It's you." He said with a smile and pulled my hand back up to his chest. He gave me a small hug, pulling me closer into his side and let out a long exhale.
"Good morning, beautiful." He told me and I laughed quietly.
"Good morning." I said, my voice tired.
"Sleep ok?" he asked and I shrugged, watching as he started running his fingers over my hand. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling. It was so gentle...it almost made my chest ache knowing no one has ever touched me so carefully before.
"Yeah, better than usual." I told him and he nodded.
"Do you have trouble sleeping?" he asked and I nodded.
"Yeah. I have a lot of nightmares…but last night I didn't wake up screaming so…that's a bonus." I confessed and he held me a bit tighter.
"Thank you for last night, Bella." He told me and I turned my head so I could look to his face. His eyes were sincere and hopeful. "That took a lot of courage."
"Thank you for being so easy to talk to." I told him and he smiled softly. I closed my eyes again as he drew softly on my hand. He was fixated on the spot I usually scratch. It was raw and rough from being abused and it felt really nice when he ran his fingers over it. I found myself clinging to his touch, not wanting him to stop. After almost a year of being hit, pushed, pulled, squeezed, and poked…I was growing addicted to how gentle Emmett was. Dating Aaron, I didn't think I'd ever get to experience this feeling…and now I didn't know how long it would last. I wanted to soak in every moment of it before Emmett outgrows me and moves on with his life.
"What would you like to do today?" Emmett asked and I shrugged lazily.
"I'm not moving." I told him and he chuckled softly. He gave the top of my head a kiss like Jasper usually does and I sighed happily.
"We can stay here as long as you'd like." He whispered and I nodded, burrowing myself into his side.
"I don't want to hurt you." He said quietly but I shook my head.
"You won't." I whispered and he held me even tighter. I exhaled, feeling any leftover tension leave my body. I felt like I was in the most safe and secure cocoon, completely wrapped in warmth.
"Feel nice?" he asked and I nodded, the world melting away.
"So warm…I feel so safe." I whispered, feeling myself start to fall back asleep. I felt him take a deep breath and kiss the top of my head again.
"Good." He whispered.
Emmett POV
I felt her drift back off to sleep and smiled. I was happy that she wanted my touch. I'd never felt like this before…I just wanted to touch her too. She always seemed so surprised at how gentle I was with her, which only made me want to touch her more. She deserved to see how she should be treated. It was hard to imagine anyone else touching her or being so close to her. It made me feel protective of her to even consider the idea of some other guy laying here with her.
This must be what it's like to have a close female friend. That's obviously all we are…I'd never tie myself down to a relationship and Bella wasn't in the head space to date.
'One day she will want to date again.' My mind told me and I sighed. I guess being this close with her would be short lived. No guy is going to want me to cuddle his girlfriend or wife. I felt my chest ache at the thought.
One day…she wouldn't want me to do this stuff anymore. I found myself missing her already, not liking the idea of losing this feeling. Feeling her curled up in my arms I felt needed and wanted…and not in the way I usually do. This was pure and sweet. She didn't want to touch me for a sexual purpose, she wanted me to make her feel secure and protected. She wanted my warmth and comfort...and I desperately wanted to give that to her. I felt addicted to touching her. The way her brown eyes would shift to my hands, the small smile and look of relief. The way I could see her body relaxing and feel her melt into me. The little sigh she gave away when I kissed her hair. I'd never been able to make someone feel this way before…nor had I ever cared to. But Bella deserved it and I wanted to pretend I never had to stop.
I glanced to my phone and saw it was only 730am. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of her warm body pressed into mine, her soft hand rising and falling with my chest. I fell asleep like that, not knowing how I'd possibly be able to sleep later tonight without her.
I felt a poke on my face and my eyes slowly opened, revealing Bella's smiling face. I gave her a confused look and she poked my cheek again and laughed.
"Oh good, I was starting to think I was going to have to rock an earthquake." She told me and I gave her a sleepy smile.
"An earthquake?" I asked and she nodded, pushing herself out of my arms to sit up. I missed her warmth immediately, but she sat right beside me, her hand resting on my chest I moved my now free arm to her leg and rested my hand on her knee.
"Yeah, you know…like…rock the bed." She told me and I felt surprised as my eyes widened a bit.
"Uh…what?" I asked, knowing she couldn't possibly mean what it sounded like she was saying. She gave me a confused look.
"You've never gotten an earthquake?" She asked and I felt myself fighting down curiosity. This was Bella…I couldn't allow my mind to go there.
"I…I don't know." I said carefully and she laughed.
"Then that's a no. Trust me, you'd know if you'd been given an earthquake." I forced myself to clear my head and glanced down to her tiny frame.
'Don't go there.'
"I'm so lost." I told her and she laughed. She moved herself up onto her knees and placed her arms on either side of my chest, looking down at me. I pulled the blankets a bit, suddenly very concerned about lower body coverage.
"Ready?" she asked with a grin and I didn't know what to say. Suddenly, she started shaking the bed, causing me to shake violently. She stood up fast and jumped, throwing herself back down on the bed.
"Earthquaaaaake!" she yelled, as I bounced slightly on the bed. She landed on her back, laughing like a mad woman. I grinned and sat up, giving her a surprised look.
"What the hell?! You were going to wake me up like that?!" I asked laughing and she nodded, looking up to me.
"Well, yeah. Poking you wasn't working." She told me and I laughed, admiring how happy she looked.
"So we jump from poking, to full on insanity. No nice nudging option." I confirmed and she shrugged.
"I am what I am." I laughed again and nodded.
"Well I guess you'll do." I told her and she smiled.
"So what's up for today?" she asked and I grinned.
"What happened to 'I'm not moving?" I asked and she blushed slightly. I admired her rosy cheeks for a moment before she shrugged.
"I'm bored now." She told me and I faked offense.
"Excuse me?" I asked and she laughed, moving to get off the bed. I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back onto the bed.
"Ooooh I don't think so!" I teased and she laughed at me. I tossed her lightly onto her back and put my hands on either side of her body and saw her face light up mischievously.
"Don't you dare." She warned and I grinned.
"Earthquake!" I yelled as I shook the bed. She laughed manically and bounced around on the bed, her body bouncing off my arms as she moved. I showed her mercy and stopped after about ten seconds. I paused for a moment, taking in how small she was underneath me. I felt like if I lowered myself down, I'd crush her.
"I kept telling him no. I tried... I tried to...push him off. But...he was so strong. He...he hit me in the face and...and I got scared. I...I just...stopped fighting."
I sat up quickly, backing away from her, remembering her words, very aware of how much I looked like him and how I'd been hovering over her. She sat up slowly, a confused look on her face. I glanced to her and felt my chest tighten at the thought of hurting her.
"Are you ok?" she asked hesitantly. I nodded, sliding off the bed. I just needed to create distance. I turned to her and saw her face had fallen and I sighed.
"I'm sorry. I just…I got freaked out." I confessed and she nodded slowly.
"Oh…right. Ok…no problem. Sorry about that." She told me, scratching her forehead awkwardly. I sighed, hating that I ruined our fun. I just can't help but compare Bella's body to my own and after hearing her story last night…it was all still so fresh. I couldn't help but imagine someone my size hurting her. She'd never be able to fight me off and my stomach turned at the thought. I watched as she hopped off the bed slowly, walking to her bag.
"I should get ready to head home." She said, clearly uncomfortable.
"I just don't want you to feel that way with me." I blurted out and she looked up to me confused.
"What way?" she asked and I sighed.
"Afraid." I said quietly and her face softened. She walked over to me and pressed herself against my chest, pulling me into a tight hug.
"I'm not afraid of you." She whispered and I shook my head.
"Yeah but…with me over you like that I just-" but she pulled back and put a finger on my mouth, forcing me to stop talking. I looked down to her, sadness in my eyes and she shook her head.
"I'm not afraid of you." She reaffirmed pointedly. I took a deep breath and nodded, feeling a bit better.
"I just don't ever want to cross a line with you, Bella. You're important to me. What if there's a line to our unexpected closeness and I cross it by mistake?" she smiled to me and shrugged.
"I'll tell you. And we move on. Em…you're one of the most patient and understanding people I've ever met. I know you would never intentionally hurt me. I trust you. Just…relax. I was having fun with you...you help me forget about all the bullshit. And sometimes that's what I really need. To just feel like…I can be touched and held and teased and not feel like I'm afraid of what's coming next." I sighed, putting my hands on her shoulders and nodded.
"I'm sorry." I told her and she smiled.
"Don't be. I really appreciate you looking out for me. But…I'll tell you when it's too much, ok? Just don't treat me like a ticking time bomb. I'm not as breakable as I seem. At least not with you." She told me and I felt something I couldn't quite place, but it made me smile. I nodded and pulled her in, tucking her under my chin and sighed. I closed my eyes and admired the way she fit so perfectly into me, trying not to think about how beautiful she had looked laying beneath me on the bed.
Bella POV
I tossed on my yoga pants and a white t-shirt, with a navy zip hoodie overtop, getting ready for Emmett to take me home. I threw my messy hair into a bun and brushed my teeth, throwing everything back into my bag and came back to the guestroom to find it empty. Emmett must still be in the bathroom down the hall.
I came down the stairs, the smell of alcohol filling my nose. I looked around, my face scrunching at the offensive smell. I glanced to Emmett as he came bounding down the stairs and made a face.
"Jesus Christ, did they drink the place dry last night?" I asked and he looked around, shrugging.
"I mean, its possible." He said, grabbing my bag from me and taking it to the door with his. I went down to the basement to find Alice and Jasper curled up on the couch. I shook them gently and they groaned.
"Hey guys. It's 10am. Go sleep it off upstairs." I told them and they nodded. I laughed as they fought their way up the stairs and looked around. The place was a mess.
I sighed as Emmett came down and glanced to him.
"I can't leave it like this." I told him and he shrugged.
"It's not your mess." He told me and I shook my head.
"Yeah but Aunt Kerri would be pissed if she came home to this. Jasper would cover for me." I explained and he nodded, grabbing an armful of empty beer bottles, the tequila bottle, and chip bags. I grabbed a few plates, the half eaten dip containers, and some pop cans. We carried everything upstairs and started getting it all put away. I grabbed a cloth, running back down to wipe the table and bar, tidying the cushions and random items before jogging back upstairs to find Emmett loading the dishwasher.
"He owes us." Emmett mumbled and I smiled.
"Oh relax. I'm sure you can come up with something you want from Jasper." I told him and he glanced to me and smiled, continuing with the dishes. I put all the food away and wiped the counters. Before we knew it, everything was clean and tidy. He gave my shoulder a squeeze and we walked to the door, grabbing our shoes and coats. Emmett grabbed both our bags and we went out, climbing into his Jeep.
"So what's the plan for the day?" he asked and I shrugged.
"Homework. You?" I asked and he made a face.
"Ugh. I forgot about homework." He told me and I laughed.
"It's not that bad." I told him and he shrugged.
"Sure, when you're smart." He told me with a laugh and I turned to him seriously.
"Wait, what?" I asked and he smiled to me, shrugging.
"I've seen your notes. You're way better at that stuff than I am." He told me and I furrowed my brow.
"Aggressive note taking doesn't make me smart though. It sounds like you're trying to say you're not smart." I told him and he shrugged again.
"I'm really not." He said and I made a face.
"What makes you say that?" I asked and he glanced to me.
"Well…I don't know. I mean, don't tell anyone but I'm almost failing two classes." I shook my head.
"That doesn't mean you're stupid…what classes?" I asked and he chuckled.
"Well it doesn't make me smart." I sighed.
"Maybe you just need to learn the material differently. What classes?" I asked again and I could tell he was mildly embarrassed.
"English and algebra." He mumbled and I nodded.
"Ok, so let me help you." I offered and he chuckled.
"You don't have to do that."
"I want to." He looked at me, his brow furrowed.
"You do?" he asked and I gave him a confused look.
"Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?" I asked and he shrugged. "Ok cool, so no objections." I insisted and he chuckled again.
"Alright, alright. I uh…I'm actually struggling with my English assignment due tomorrow." He told me and I nodded.
"Well I have to grab my books…but we can work on it together today? My dad is just sleeping anyway." He nodded.
"Yeah, I'm good with that. Uh…can we…study at your place though?" he asked and I nodded, confused.
"Um…yeah. We'd just have to keep it down for my dad." I told him and he nodded. He took the next side road and started heading toward his house. I wasn't sure why he didn't want us to go to his place but I wasn't going to pry.
Emmett POV
I jogged up to the door, leaving the Jeep running with Bella waiting. I kicked my shoes off and bee lined for the stairs.
"Hey mom! Dad! Just grabbing my books and heading back out!" I called to them, not waiting for a reply. I grabbed my backpack from my room and coming back down the stairs.
"Where are you going?" my mom asked, meeting me at the bottom. I gave her a kiss on the hair and she smiled.
"To a friend's to work on my English assignment." I told her and she grinned, nodding. She was really pushing me to work harder.
"Oh good! Will you be home for dinner?" she asked.
"I'm not sure, but I'll text you as soon as I know."
"Is that…Bella Swan in your car?" My dad asked, glancing out the window and I rubbed my neck, noticing my mom perk up.
"Uh…yeah." I said lamely and my mom smiled at me.
"A girl?" she asked and I sighed.
"No, mom. Just a friend." I affirmed and she tried to hide her disappointment. This was why I didn't want Bella to come in or study here. My mom was not so patiently waiting for the day I brought a girl home.
"You behave yourself." My dad told me with a stern look and I felt confused.
"Why am I getting the third degree?" I asked and he glanced to the window.
"Bella…is a patient of mine. Just…behave." He told me. I realized he knew.
"Wait…Bella spoke to you? About…everything?" I asked and he shook his head.
"I can't say."
"I wouldn't do anything to set her back." I told him and he smiled to me.
"Good. Now, go get that English grade up, yes?" he quipped and I nodded, giving my mom a hug.
"See you guys." I jogged out the door and to the Jeep.
"Sorry that took so long." I told her as I hopped back in. She smiled.
"No problem." I nodded and backed out of the driveway, heading back towards her place. We made light conversation until I pulled up to her house. I followed Bella in and we kicked off our shoes. She led me to the living room when she stopped short, causing me to bump into her. I grabbed her around her waist to steady her. She turned to me and put a finger to her lips, pointing to the couch. Her dad was fast asleep, an old western movie playing on the TV. She pointed to the stairs and motioned for me to go. She went to shut off the TV and followed me up. I waited at the top and followed her into her room.
I looked around and smiled. The room was a pale green colour, with purple bedding, a desk in the corner, and a matching dresser by the door. It was simple but seemed very Bella.
"My dad decorated it." She smiled and I nodded, going over to the desk to find a bunch of pictures taped on the wall above it. A lot of them were of her and Jasper or her mom and dad but a good number of them were of her and Jake.
"Ah yes. Jacob Black." I mumbled and she smiled, coming over to look at the pictures.
"You sound so enthused." She told me and I shrugged.
"He's alright." I told her and she nudged me.
"Let's get started?" she asked and I nodded, grabbing my bag and putting it on the desk. She tossed her books on the bed and sat down, crossing her legs and I took the desk chair, facing her. I watched her take out her notes and felt immediately self conscious of my own. I just didn't get as much out of those books as she did.
"So how far are you?" she asked and I glanced down.
"Well…I haven't really…started." I mumbled and she gave me a smile and nodded. She motioned for me to come over, so I grabbed my notes and the book, sitting down on her bed. She took out the assignment sheet and shifted so we could both look at it.
What are the major themes in The Edible Woman?
What is the significance of food in this novel?
What does the cake Marian serves Peter represent?
What is the significance of Marian eating the cake?
Identify three uses of symbolism used by Atwood.
I sighed reading the sheet. I glanced down and saw Bella's book filled with highlighted sections and little notes, mine barely cracked.
"Are you overwhelmed?" she asked and I nodded.
"Yeah it's all just gibberish." I told her and she nodded.
"How far into the book are you?" she asked and I sighed.
"Uh…a few chapters in." I said sheepishly and she smirked.
"Ok, there's our problem. We are going to sit here until you're done." I looked to her with wide eyes.
"What?! That will take days." I told her and she shook her head.
"No it won't. Come on." She said, pulling on my arm. We slid back to lean against her headboard and she grabbed a different book from her nightstand.
"The Odyssey. You read these for fun?" I asked and she nodded.
"Yeah…I love reading." She told me and I glanced to my book.
"I hate reading."
"Ok, let's make it more interesting. For every three chapters you finish, I'll do you a favour." She told me and I watched her for a moment. In any other situation, I'd make a joke with the girl whose bed I was on that they should be sexual favours and then we'd make out. But…this was Bella. Probably wouldn't be a good idea. Then I had a thought.
"Would you tell me something about yourself that I don't know?" I asked and she looked to me, surprised.
"That's what you want?" she asked and I nodded. "Wow…I thought I'd have to like…make you food or do your laundry." She said laughing and I smiled.
"Nope. Just want to get to know you better." She gave me a look I couldn't quite decode but nodded.
"Ok…deal." I nodded and grabbed my book, flipping to where I'd left off, wanting to get through the next three chapters as quickly as possible.
After a bit, I turned to her smiling, finishing chapter eight.
"Done my first three." I told her and she looked up and smiled.
"Awesome! Do I just…randomly tell you something?" I thought for a moment and shook my head.
"Can I ask?" she nodded and put her book down on her legs. "What's your favourite movie?" I asked and she smiled.
"My favourite movie?" I nodded.
"Yeah."
"I wasn't expecting that. Ok…um…my all time favourite movie would have to be Patch Adams." She told me and I smiled.
"I've never actually watched it." She gave me a shocked look.
"What?! How is that possible?"
"Maybe we can watch it sometime?" I asked and she grinned, nodding.
"Yeah, that would be fun." I smiled, turning back to my book. I couldn't wait to power through the next three chapters.
After chapters 9-11 I asked:
"Was Aaron your first boyfriend?" she shook her head.
"No I dated a guy before him too." I nodded.
"What was he like?" she shrugged.
"He was nice. His name was Max…easy going, smart, funny."
"Why'd you break up?" I asked and she shrugged.
"We were sixteen. Just…was never going to last. My feelings fizzled out and we broke up." I nodded.
"Fair enough."
"You said you don't date, have you ever dated?" She asked and I shook my head.
"Nope. Never." She nodded.
Chapters 12-14:
"Do you think you'll stay in Forks?" she looked thoughtful.
"I mean…I'd love to. I wont be going back to Phoenix…but…I'm not really sure where I'll be a year from now." She replied and I nodded.
"Where did you apply to school?" I asked and she shook her head.
"Nope, save it. Three more chapters." I sighed but nodded, turning back to my book.
Chapters 15-17
"Ok, so where did you apply to school?" I asked and she sighed, looking up from her assignment. I was slowly filling mine in as well as I read, the book getting more interesting as I went.
"Well…I applied to the University of Seattle." She told me and I smiled.
"So did I. What did you apply for?" she glanced to her notes, clearly uncomfortable with the topic.
"Uh, double major, English and Music." She answered and I smiled.
"Oh that's cool. So music is more than just a hobby then." I stated and she shrugged.
"Yeah… I suppose. I don't know. I really love English." She told me and I nodded, very curious.
"So if you go to Seattle you'd stay in Washington then at least." I reasoned and she nodded.
"Uh… yeah. If I get in, sure." I made a face at her choice of words but was cut off as she pointed to my book.
"Keep going."
Chapter 18-20
"What's your biggest pet peeve?" I asked and she laughed.
"My biggest pet peeve? When I can tell someone is lying… and they insist on holding onto the lie."
Chapter 21-23
"Your favourite song?"
"Right now? Like That by JP Saxe"
Chapter 24-26
"Your favourite quality."
"About…me?" I nodded.
"Uh…probably…being creative." I smiled.
I looked up as I finished Chapter 27-29 and grinned, glancing to the clock.
"I cant believe I only have two chapters left and its only 4:30." I told her and she grinned.
"See? I told you you could do it." I smiled and grabbed her hand.
"Thank you…so much. I'm actually really enjoying it." She nodded.
"So, what's your-"
"Well hello." I looked to the door to see Chief Swan standing there, looking at me pointedly. Bella laughed and got up from her bed, hugging him."
"Dad, this is Emmett Cullen. Emmett, this is my dad, Charlie. Emmett and I are working on our English assignment. We were going to work in the living room but I didn't want to wake you." She explained and he nodded slowly, looking to me. I stood, suddenly nervous. I walked up and reached out my hand to shake his. He took it, giving me a firm handshake. I smiled.
"Nice to meet you, Chief Swan." I told him and he glanced to Bella who nodded to him. He sighed and looked back to me.
"You too." Bella nudged him and gave him a look and he sighed. "You can call me Charlie." I nodded and smiled nervously. I'm never nervous around parents.
'Because you don't care about any of those girls.' I shifted uncomfortably.
"So, Bells. What would you like for dinner tonight?" he asked, turning to her and she shrugged.
"Anything is fine. Can Emmett stay?" she asked and he glanced to me, scratching his neck.
"Uh…are you sure about that?" he asked and she nodded.
"Yeah…he knows dad. I feel really comfortable around him." He looked to me a bit surprised but nodded.
"Sure. You guys want to order a pizza?" he asked and I saw Bella falter. I shook my head.
"No pizza." He looked to me, his brow furrowed, until he saw me looking to Bella. He could see her demeanor had shifted and nodded.
"Ok… um… Chinese?" he asked and I nodded.
"That ok?" I asked her and she looked up and nodded.
"Yeah… Chinese sounds good." I caught Charlie's eye and he gave me a curt yet appreciative nod.
"Ok, I'll go order. You guys…almost done up here?" he asked and Bella laughed.
"Not quite." He nodded and looked to the bed.
"Alright…we will just uh…leave this open." He told us, pushing the door as open as it would go. Bella rolled her eyes as he walked away, motioning to me to sit back down.
"Can…I ask you my question?" I asked and she nodded, looking to me.
"Right, yeah go for it."
"What's the story about pizza?" I asked and she faltered. I grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. She took a deep breath and nodded.
"Well…one night I got to Aaron's and he was mad that I hadn't lost any weight that week. He would make me get on the scale pretty much every time I went there and he said I wasn't trying hard enough. He uh…he ordered a pizza all for himself and I made the mistake of saying I was hungry and asking for a slice. He…that was the first time he…beat me up. I uh..." she took a deep breath and glanced up to me, her eyes nervous. I ran my thumbs over her hands and she took a deep breath.
"I ended up in the hospital, missed a week of school. He told my mom that…that I'd gotten jumped by someone who stole my phone when I was walking to his place." I watched her in shock at what she'd gone through.
"He…put you in the hospital?" I asked and she nodded.
"Yeah… I had a concussion and a broken wrist. Bad bruising…after that he was more careful about where he left bruises and how he would hurt me. If I could cover it with clothing it was fair game but…he left my face alone." I pulled her into my chest and held her tightly for a few moments.
"All that over a goddamn slice of pizza?" I whispered and she nodded. I could see why she didn't want to order pizza. That was just another mental hurdle for her to get past. She pulled back and took a deep breath. "Thank you for telling me, Bella." I told her, rubbing my hands up and down her arms. She smiled weakly.
"Thank you for asking. I've never told anyone that before…it feels good to get it out." I nodded.
"I'm going to push through the last two chapters, ok?" I asked and she nodded, smiling to me.
"I'm really proud of you, Emmett." She told me and I felt my chest fill with pride. She patted my leg and turned back to her homework, having switched to biology a while ago.
Within half an hour I was snapped the book closed, a huge sense of accomplishment flooding me. I know I shouldn't be that proud but…I haven't finished a book since I was a kid reading Captain Underpants and Goosebumps. I looked to her and saw her beaming at me.
"You did it!" she celebrated and I grinned.
"I really did." I said quietly and she put her hand on my leg.
"What's wrong?" she asked and I shook my head.
"I'm just…I didn't think I'd actually get it done." I told her and she got up on her knees and put her hands on my shoulders.
"Emmett. You are smart. You just needed some incentive. I am here to help anytime you need it, ok?" she told me and I smiled. She leaned in and gave me a tight hug and I sighed into her hair, very aware that getting to know Bella seemed to be the only incentive I had needed.
"Foods here!" Charlie called up the stairs and Bella pulled away.
"We can go eat and finish up after that?" she asked and I nodded, leaving my book on the bed and standing up, stretching. Bella hopped down too and we went down the stairs to the kitchen.
"Movie?" Charlie asked her and she nodded. He took his plate to the living room and Bella and I started putting food on our plates.
"You hungry?" I asked and she nodded.
"Yeah, I'm starving." She said and I was suddenly very aware that she hadn't eaten all day. I'd at least snacked in Jasper's kitchen. I followed her into the living room, finding Charlie in his recliner. I sat beside Bella on the couch as Charlie flipped on Inception. After a few minutes he cleared his throat.
"So. You two have class together then?" he asked and Bella nodded.
"Yeah and he's friends with Jasper." Realization dawned on him and his mood lightened.
"Oh right, Cullen. You're Carlisle's boy." I nodded.
"Yes, sir." I told him and he smiled. Bella glanced to me, uncomfortably.
"Well, nice to officially meet you. You taking care of Bella then?" She rolled her eyes at him.
"Dad." He held up his hands.
"Well someone has to keep you out of trouble." I chuckled.
"It's kind of a full time job." I told him and he chuckled.
"Sure is. So…you told him then?" he asked Bella, who nodded.
"Kind of. Jasper did but…it seems to be working out." She said, looking at me with a smile. Charlie nodded, looking to her plate.
"Yeah I can see that. You're eating a lot better tonight." He commented and she shrugged.
"Hungry." He and I shared a look and I smiled. I could see I was slowly winning his trust.
"I'm going back in tonight, Bells. That bear attack left stacks of paperwork on my desk." She nodded and took another bite of her rice.
"That's fine, Emmett and I are just going to finish our English before he goes." He nodded and looked at me.
"How late is this study date going?" He asked and Bella laughed.
"Dad. It's not a date. Seriously…we are just friends." She told him and I found myself wondering why she laughed. Was it so ridiculous?
'Of course it is. You don't date, dumbass.' I reminded myself and looked down to my plate. Right…I don't date. I glanced to her and took a breath. Then again, I didn't hang out with girls like Bella. Of course I'd never date someone like Jess or Lauren…I'd rather walk out into traffic.
But Bella –
'Don't even finish that thought. You don't date. Not Bella, not anyone.' I looked to my plate, not even sure why I was sending myself down that path. It was ridiculous.
"Alright, alright. You sure you're alright by yourself?" he asked her and she nodded.
"Yeah, I'm good." He nodded and we watched the movie, eating in silence. After about forty minutes, Charlie stood up and sighed.
"I'm going to go get ready." He told Bella, who nodded. He grabbed our plates and took them to the kitchen and Bella glanced to the time.
"We should really get back to our assignment." She told me and I nodded.
"Never let me wait that long to finish a book again, ok?" I asked her and she smiled, nodding.
"Harass and bully you. Got it." She quipped, standing up and stretching. She rubbed her stomach and sighed.
"You ok?" I asked and she nodded.
"Yeah just…really full. I think I overate." She told me and I nodded.
"Try some peppermint tea." I told her and she gave me a look. I shrugged.
"I know this stuff." I told her and she smiled, nodding.
"Ok, I'll make some before we go up. You want one?" she asked and I nodded.
"Sure." I followed her into the kitchen and as we were waiting for the kettle to boil, Charlie came back downstairs.
"Alright, Bells. I'm headed out. Don't forget to lock the doors. And no sleepovers." He said with a glance to me. Bella sighed, and shook her head.
"Dad." She whispered and he shrugged.
"Night, baby." He said with a kiss to her hair. He nodded to me before leaving. After I heard the door shut I turned to her.
"So, don't tell your dad that we cuddled all night?" I asked her and she laughed.
"Not unless you want to see where he stores the house gun." She told me and I looked around nervously.
"Seriously? You guys have a gun hidden in here?" I asked and she giggled.
"Yup." She said, pouring hot water over the tea bags. I leaned against the counter.
"Can you shoot?" I asked and she shrugged.
"I'm the Chief's daughter. What do you think?" she asked and I smiled.
"That's hot." I told her and she laughed, grabbing her tea.
"Shut up." I chuckled and followed her up the stairs and back to her room.
"Ok, start working on the rest of your assignment. I'm going to work on a music project I have due in a few weeks. If you need help, let me know." She told me and I nodded, settling back into my spot against the headboard. Bella perched cross-legged at the foot of her bed facing me, dropping a large, messy book in front of her and pulled out a pencil.
Bella POV
I stared at the blank page in front of me and tapped my pencil on it a few times. I glanced to the assignment sheet beside me and chewed the inside of my cheek. I had to pick a song to rearrange and provide the sheet music for it. I glanced to my closet, knowing my guitar was inside and I was itching to pull it out but I wasn't ready for that question yet. I didn't like to talk about music with anyone right now…it was a touchy subject for me.
No one knew yet but I had also applied to Juilliard. The only thing Aaron was actually supportive of was my music "career". Or at least the career he wanted me to have. He didn't want me to apply to schools…he wanted me to take the record deal I'd been offered after graduation. He had sent a demo of my work out to a few labels without my permission and one of them came back and wanted to sign me to a one year contract to watch my work, allowing me to song write for them for the year. I didn't want to take it though…which he hated. He started trying to convince me that I'd never get into Seattle and that my only choice was to take the deal. I just knew in my heart it wasn't what I wanted. I wasn't cut out for a life of celebrity – but he was. It was pretty much the only thing that kept Aaron around… he was convinced I'd be famous one day and he wanted a one way ticket to that life.
I compromised with him and also applied to Juilliard. I wanted to double major in English and music to focus on my song writing…but Juilliard was a safe choice to keep him somewhat happy too. I hated that he took one of my favourite things and tainted it. Music to me used to mean freedom…he turned it into a way to control me. I sighed, looking to the blank page, taking a sip of my tea. I knew I couldn't quit though. I need to push through the resentment and keep grinding. I really wanted to go to the University of Seattle. Not that it was the best school for music… but it was where I wanted to go. They had a great program and it was close to my dad and Jasper. I picked up my phone, knowing I needed to stop thinking about things I couldn't change, and just start looking for a song.
I put one of my wireless earbuds in and started flipping through my Spotify. I'd listen to a song for about 30 seconds before skipping, going through nearly fifty songs before I lingered on one. I tapped my pencil to the beat, staring into space. I glanced to the closet again before closing my eyes and trying to imagine what I'd do if I had my guitar in my hands. I was listening to Lose You To Love Me by Selena Gomez and tapped my pencil to the beat, imagining it set to acoustic guitar. More of a plucky sound…a lower chorus…softer vocals. I opened my eyes to see Emmett staring at me and I glanced to my pencil.
"Sorry." I said, sheepishly. He watched me for a moment over his book, before putting it down.
"What are you doing?" he asked and I shrugged.
"Just this assignment." I said and he nodded.
"What's the assignment?" he asked and I paused the song playing in my ear.
"Uh…I have to pick a song to rearrange and write new sheet music for it." I explained and he looked to my book.
"That's a big book." He commented and I nodded, not wanting to reveal my book. He looked back up to my eyes and I could see it settling on his face, he was cautious. He felt my hesitation. "Find a song?" he asked and I shrugged.
"Maybe." He nodded, picking his book back up and I felt a sense of relief that he wasn't going to pry. I turned back to my phone, grabbing my pencil. I restarted the song, starting to scribble a few notes down here and there. After another listen, I replayed it again and quickly drew a makeshift staff, drawing music notes on it as the song went through. After another three run throughs I dropped my pencil, pulling the earbud out of my ear, knowing I'd need to actually play it to make sure it worked. I looked up to find Emmett watching me intently.
"You're really good at that." He commented quietly. I shrugged. "You don't like talking about this, do you?" He asked and I ran my hand through my hair.
"Uh…no. Not really."
"Not even with me?" he asked and I softened, looking to his face. Emmett was slowly becoming my weakness. I don't know when it happened, but it happened fast. I sighed.
"I don't know…" he glanced to my book again.
"How did you do that so quickly?" he asked and I shrugged.
"It's just notes." I told him and he smiled.
"Yeah, which is like a different language." He commented and I smirked.
"Yeah…I speak that language." I said and he nodded.
"I can see that. You…enjoy this stuff." He said and I nodded hesitantly.
"I do."
"Then why the walls?" he asked and I looked up to his eyes.
"It's complicated." I told him. I really didn't want to get into it right now.
"I don't want to push you…but I am having a hard time understanding why this is where you draw the line after all you've told me." He reasoned and I nodded, taking a deep breath.
"That's fair." I looked to my book and sighed. "I just…I'm conflicted about…stuff. And I need to figure it out on my own." I told him and he watched me for a moment.
"I don't know what that means." He said with a smile and I smiled back, knowing he wasn't trying to pry but wanted to understand.
"I just…this is something that I used to be able to control and…it was just another thing Aaron tried to take away from me. I'm just taking it back and I don't want to let anyone else in right now. I just want it to be mine for a while." I told him and his face softened and he nodded.
"Ok." I exhaled.
"Yeah?" I asked and he nodded, smiling.
"Bella. You don't have to share everything with me. You're allowed to have things just for you. You're allowed to have boundaries. I ask because I care but part of caring is understanding when you set a limit. Take your time. I'm here when you're ready." He told me and I felt happiness flood my chest and I jumped up and hugged him. It took him a moment to react, putting his arms around my waist.
"You ok?" he asked and I nodded into his shoulder.
"Yes." He hugged me tighter and rubbed his hands on my back and I felt like I just wanted to melt. It had been so long since I'd felt comfortable being touched and it just felt so good to be touched with care. I sighed and reluctantly pulled away. He smiled to me and I sat beside him, motioning to his book.
"So, what did you think?" I asked and he picked it up.
"It was good… I didn't expect to actually enjoy it." I smiled.
"It's a very clever book. Margaret Atwood is a genius." I commented and he nodded.
"Yeah I can see that. I'm having a hard time understanding the cake though." I nodded.
"The cake is a symbol of Marian's own body. Its her rejecting the woman people say she should be and creating her own identity. By serving it to Peter she's presenting who she is and making him accept her as she is and not the perfect woman and wife. By eating it, he's digesting that and accepting her as she is." I explained and saw realization dawn on him.
"Well damn." I laughed and looked to his assignment.
"You're almost done! That's awesome. And it's only 7 o'clock." I said and he nodded, stretching.
"Yeah." I watched him for a moment, looking like he wanted to say something else. He made eye contact and sighed.
"Is it stupid that I don't really want to leave?" he asked and I laughed again.
"No." he smiled to me and closed his books.
"I can write the last answer down later…want to go finish the movie?" he asked and I smiled.
"Yeah, definitely." He grabbed my hand and pulled me off the bed, guiding me downstairs and to the living room. We plopped down on the couch and I leaned into him without thinking. He put his arm around me and pulled me in closer. I grabbed the blanket tossed on the other end of the couch and pulled it over me, feeling chilled. He grabbed it as well and curled up under it with me. I sighed and allowed myself to fully relax into him, enjoying the contact. I felt him kiss the top of my head and froze momentarily.
"Oh…shit I'm sorry." He said quietly and I brought my nerves back down and shook my head.
"It's ok… I just wasn't expecting it." I told him and he shifted awkwardly.
"I don't want to make you feel weird…" he told me and I looked up to him and smiled at the worry in his eyes.
"It's ok." I said softly and he smiled, rubbing his hand up and down my arm. We settled back in and he put his feet on the coffee table, me curling my knees up and into myself as I laid into his side. We stayed like that until I fell asleep to him running his hands through my hair.
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Song: Glad You Exist – Dan and Shay