Warning: *Some mature content*
Chapter Eight
That moment again, he's insisting that friends
Look at each other like that
Emmett POV
I watched Bella come into her bedroom and gave her a once over, looking for any clues as to what could be wrong. She turned to look at me and I saw her red eyes. She had been crying.
"What happened?" I asked quickly and she gave me a startled look. I took a step to her and she stepped back. I felt confusion on my face in a moment of panic at her behaviour, but after a few seconds she softened and closed the gap between us. She shoved herself forcefully into my chest and I wrapped my arms around her tightly. I went to pull away after a moment, but she clawed at my shirt.
"Don't let me go." She said frantically and I pulled her in again, suddenly aware that she was only in a towel. I ran my thumbs over her bare back, slipping one hand up into her wet hair and holding her close. We stood like that for a few minutes before her body relaxed. She looked up at me and I put my hands on her shoulders.
"What happened?" I asked again and she sighed, pulling back and sitting on her bed. I watched her for a moment as she wrestled with the words.
"Jake-"
"What the fuck did he do?" I asked angrily and she looked up to me surprised. I sat on my knees in front of her and put my hands on her legs. She shook her head.
"It's not…like that." She said and I softened a bit, waiting for her to explain. "He…ok. There's…there's something I guess you should know." She told me and I felt nervous. She looked to my eyes and sighed. "Jake and I…have a history." She told me and I felt an ache in my chest.
"A history?" I repeated and she nodded.
"When we were fifteen and I was here for the summer…we…we kind of had a fling." She confessed and I felt a surge of jealousy run through me.
"A fling?" she nodded.
"We…he was my first kiss. We spent the summer just…being together. It was innocent enough…we pretty much just made out and held hands all summer. We didn't put any pressure on it because we both knew I'd be leaving. But…Jake has always been very upfront about…his feelings." I felt my face getting warm and my chest aching at her confession and wasn't sure if I was more angry or jealous of Jacob. She sighed.
"I told Jake tonight…almost everything. At least…the cliff notes version. We talked about Aaron and how he didn't want me around him. Aaron didn't know about our history, and it wouldn't have meant anything anyway because I wouldn't have cheated. After I told him why I stopped visiting, Jake…tried to kiss me." I felt my eyes narrow. "I told him that I couldn't have that kind of relationship with him. That I needed him but only as a friend and he couldn't touch me if it was anything more than friendly and he was totally cool with it. He said…that he loved me and that he'd waited years for me, so he could wait as long as I needed. Everything after that was great and normal…but after dinner we came back up here." I looked at her eyes and felt my fists clench, she put a hand on my cheek.
"Hey…Shh. It's ok." She told me and I felt my jaw relax. She put her hands on the base of my neck to soothe me and I found myself leaning into her touch. I didn't want to think about her being with Jake…I just wanted to remember that I was the one she was touching. "He had seen you text me and we were talking about how you two don't really like each other…and he…he started getting…touchy." She told me and I moved my hands up to her hips, holding her towel so I wouldn't accidentally squeeze her. Her eyes shifted down to my hands and back up to my face and I saw something flash in her eyes that I couldn't quite place. She sighed, relaxing, and ran one of her fingers over my hairline at the back of my neck and I tried not to give away how good it felt.
"He…he was actually sitting right here and I was standing in front of him. He put his hands on my hips…and told me he missed this." She said quietly, looking down. I felt my brow furrow at her story. "I…I tried to pull back but he held me to him and tried to calm me down…I just couldn't handle the way he looked at me. I knew…I knew what he was wanting and-" I brought my hands up to her cheeks and wiped a tear. I felt my insides shaking with anger. "He started…squeezing my hips and I told him…that it was too much and he saw how upset I was and let me go…he didn't mean to upset me. I just…ugh." She stood up and my hands fell onto the bed. I watched her start to pace.
"Why does it have to be like this?! On paper Jake is the perfect guy for me. We've been friends since I was a little kid…we have history…he actually loves me. He…he could give me everything I need. And because of what Aaron did to me I can't even think about letting him touch me that way. How is this fair, Emmett?! I haven't even been kissed in like six months. And the one guy that actually wants to kiss me was right fucking there and I freaked out. Why am I such I such fucking wreck?!" she snapped and I felt my chest aching, listening to the way she spoke about Jacob. Was this it? Was she just Jake's and I'd eventually lose her touch to him? In that moment, all I wanted to do was grab her and kiss her, and that terrified me.
"And all I could think when he was touching me…was that…I needed you." She whispered and I felt shock surge through me, my chest tightening.
"What?" I said weakly and she sighed, her arms falling limply to her sides. Her eyes were glassy and she gave me a defeated look.
"I just wanted you. You're…you make me feel better, Emmett." She said, looking at me with desperation. I hesitated for only a second before closing the gap between us and pulled her up and into my chest. She wrapped her arms around my neck and wound her fingers tightly into my hair, her feet dangling off the floor. I stifled a groan as she gripped my hair, not wanting to admit what it did to me. She held me as tightly as she could and I did the same to her. After a minute or two she took a deep breath and untangled her fingers from my hair, loosening her hold on me. I missed the feeling immediately.
"I'm sorry." She whispered and I put her down on the bed.
"What? Why?" I asked and she sighed, sniffling.
"I don't know." She mumbled and I furrowed my brow.
"No…tell me." I said and she shrugged.
"I'm sure that was the last thing you wanted to hear." She told me, looking to her hands. I felt like she had slapped me.
"What? Why would you say that?" I asked and she sighed.
"You've been off all day…and…I keep trying to wrack my brain for what I did and all I can think is that…I touch you too much…I need you too much. Maybe it's just becoming…too much." She ended quietly, looking up to my face sadly. I exhaled and shook my head.
"That...no. I…I can't stay away from you, Bella." I told her and she looked up to me surprised. "I try…I've tried to keep my hands to myself but…I just…need to be touching you. And I know it's not romantic or anything, I just need you." I confessed quietly, kneeling in front of her again. I saw her glance quickly to my lips and I felt a spark. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath.
"I need you too." She whispered and on instinct I started to lean in, but I realized what I was doing halfway and stopped myself. I was about to pull back when she inhaled sharply. She crushed her lips to mine and wound her fingers back into my hair. I groaned involuntarily as she gripped my hair and pulled me in.
I felt alarms going off in my head. This is Bella. This is Jasper's cousin. She's fragile…she's broken…she just said she didn't want this. I moaned as she moved her lips over mine and realized that at the moment, I didn't care about any of those things. I wrapped my arms around her and moved my lips with hers. The kiss was desperate and hungry, filled with pent up frustration on both sides. She pulled on my hair and I moaned into her mouth, slowly standing and following her as she pulled me up onto the bed, never breaking the kiss. I crawled overtop of her as she laid back, her nails scratching delicately at my neck and shoulder. I gripped her hip with one hand and supported myself with the other as I hovered above her on the bed. She moaned as I dug my fingers into her hip, finally breaking the kiss. I kissed down her jaw and neck as she breathed heavily. She dug her nails into my bicep and I moaned into her neck, pulling her hips up into mine and she whimpered.
"Oh God." When I heard her voice I paused, realizing what we were doing.
"Shit…" I hissed, not wanting to stop but knowing I needed to. She tried to pull me back in for a kiss and met my lips with hers desperately. I complied for a few seconds before reaching into my hair and grabbing her hand. I intertwined our fingers, resting our hands on the bed and started to slow the kiss. She slowed her lips as well and gently traced her fingers on my neck. I moaned softly at the feeling, never having been kissed this way before. I needed to stop…but…I needed just a few more seconds. I moved my hand back to her waist and she slowly traced up my arm and rested on my cheek. She deepened the kiss but in the softest way. We slowly moved our lips together and I felt my breath hitch as she carefully bit my lip.
"Oh, God." I hissed, feeling her moving to snake her hands into my hair and I knew if I let her get her fingers into my hair again, I'd come unglued. I grabbed her hand and gave her one final, soft kiss and pulled away. I looked down to Bella and wanted to curse the universe at how unfair this was. She was so beautiful laying beneath me in only her towel, her lips swollen and pink, her eyes hooded and desperate. I almost went back in but knew I'd regret it.
"Bella…we cant'." I whispered and saw realization come over her. Her cheeks flushed red and she put her hands over her face.
"Oh my God." She mumbled and I sighed, sitting up. I adjusted my pants, feeling incredibly frustrated. I took a few breaths and tried to compose myself. I'd just made out with Bella. I was on top of her, on her bed. If I hadn't stopped us…I cleared my throat trying not to imagine her towel flung across the room.
"Bella-"
"I am…so embarrassed." She told me and I shook my head.
"No…no don't be embarrassed. Really. Really, don't be embarrassed." I told her. She finally looked to me and sighed.
"I can't believe I did that." She said and I ran my hand down my face, not believing it either.
"Um…yeah I have a couple questions." I said and she groaned, sitting up.
"Ok. Go ahead." She said, not looking to me. I took a deep breath.
"Um…why?" I asked simply, not able to get many words out. She shrugged.
"I don't know. I guess I kind of just wanted to see if I could…turns out I can." She said, her hand on her forehead. I glanced to her.
"Yeah…that…that brings me to my next question. I thought you just said you couldn't even think about…that." I said and she sighed.
"I don't know. I didn't think I could to be honest. I know I never could have don't that with Jake earlier. I just…I really trust you. I saw you kind of go in and stop yourself. You had the chance to try and you didn't. I guess it made me feel safe and it just…happened. I honestly didn't put much thought into it." She told me and I nodded, feeling inwardly happy at what she said about Jacob.
"We uh…is this going to be…weird?" I asked and she sighed.
"I didn't think that far ahead. I um…I'm really sorry if this…wasn't cool." She said and I turned to her.
"Don't even worry about that. I'm not…I'm not like…upset that it happened. I just wouldn't want us to not be friends." I told her and she finally looked me in the eye.
"You don't feel weird?" she asked and I shook my head. For some godforsaken reason…I didn't.
"No…I really don't." I told her and she smiled.
"So…we can pretend it never happened?" she asked and I nodded, trying to remind myself that was the smart decision.
"Of course. I understand that you're confused and frustrated and just…trying to figure it all out." She smiled and I took her hand in mine. "See? Zero weirdness." I told her and she smiled. She leaned in and kissed me softly on the cheek.
"Thank you. I uh…I think I needed that more than I realized." She told me and I chuckled.
"Hard up?" I joked and she threw her head back laughing.
"Ok, you have no idea. But not what I meant. I just…I have struggled in my mind wondering if I was ever going to be able to be touched that way again. It felt hopeless…and now I know." She told me and I nodded, looking to our hands. She got up and grabbed clothes, disappearing back to the bathroom. I took the chance to comprehend what just took place.
I'd made out with Bella. We almost did way more…and she initiated it. She wanted me. I could see it in her eyes how badly she had wanted me to keep going and part of me felt really fucking awesome about that. The other part of me was terrified.
What if it happened again and I couldn't stop myself? What if it ruined our friendship or hurt her? Part of me knew she would regret it even if she wanted it in the moment, and I didn't want to be someone Bella regrets. As much as any of those things would suck…I was more afraid of her never wanting to do that again. I took a deep breath as she came back into her room, closing the door.
"Would you…stay with me?" she asked nervously, wringing her hands together. I looked to her, my chest tightening again.
"You…want me to stay the night?" I asked and saw her falter for a moment. She looked to her hands and shrugged.
"You don't have to, I-"
"I'd love to." I said, cutting her off. She looked up with wide eyes and smiled.
"When does your dad get home?" I asked and she shrugged.
"7…but I just don't care right now. After what happened…I don't know if I can be alone." She told me and I looked down, feeling guilty. I nodded and heard her walk over. She put her hand on my cheek and I found my skin now tingled at the contact. I looked up to her and saw concern in her eyes.
"After what happened with Jake…not you. Emmett…I'm not afraid of you. You didn't hurt me, I didn't feel…" she hesitated and I looked up to see tears in her eyes. She rested both her hands on the base of my neck and took a deep breath, not letting the tears fall.
"I didn't feel forced." She said quietly and I put my hands on her hips, pulling her in for a hug. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I tucked my head under her chin, holding her tightly.
"Did…did you feel forced with Jacob?" I asked, pulling back. She sighed and shook her head.
"No…no I know Jake wouldn't hurt me, I just…I felt trapped. I was very aware he was touching me and wanting me and I just needed space to compose myself and he didn't want to give me that space. I understand it's hard to imagine how I feel but…I just needed him to not need me in that moment." I shook my head.
"Bella, I don't need to understand how you feel to respect your boundaries. And neither does he. He should have backed off the second he saw you wanted to step away." I told her and she watched my eyes for a moment before nodding.
"This is why I feel so safe with you. You're…Emmett you're an amazing person. I hope you know that." She told me and I looked away, feeling that now familiar tightening in my chest. I didn't understand what was wrong with me lately. After a moment I looked back to her and saw her frowning down to me.
"Ok…what's up with you today?" she asked.
"What do you mean?" I asked and her hands slipped from my neck and she took a step back.
"Am I doing something wrong? I feel like…one minute you want me close and the next you just want me to…stop." She told me and I furrowed my brow.
"What? No…no I just-"
"All day you've been acting weird. I touch you or say something and you get this look on your face. And I don't know what I'm doing wrong because you tell me you can't stay away from me but you look like you just want to leave." She explained and I looked down to my hands, wishing they were still touching her.
This feeling was driving me crazy but I couldn't stop it. And after that kiss all I wanted was to kiss her and touch her and make her happy. Was I really that hard up that I've started wanting Bella? Maybe I needed to get laid or something. I shook my head.
"I don't want to leave." I said quietly. She sighed and I looked up to see her to see her watching me, defeated and standing there in her dads old t-shirt and grey pj shorts, hair drying in soft waves. She was gorgeous.
"Then what's going on?" she asked weakly and I sighed, rubbing my face.
"I don't know…I think…I don't know. I'm just not used to this. I'm not used to having a close female friend. I don't do this stuff…I don't cuddle and hold hands or touch anyone the way I touch you and it's just…really new. Sometimes I feel like I don't know what I'm doing or I question if I'm doing the right thing but…I don't want to stop either. All I know is you know me better than any other girl has ever even tried to know me. You're not trying to change me or own me you just…want me. I don't want to fuck this up. I need you in my life and honestly that scares the shit out of me. I have a pattern of just fucking girls and pushing them away and I don't want to slip up with you. You're… incredible. You're sexy and cute and funny and just…I know I'm going to fuck up like I always do and ruin this somehow. I don't want guys like Jake touching you, I want to touch you. But I'm starting to think it's for a bad reason and maybe I just need to get laid." I finished my lamely. I sighed and put my elbows on my knees. What was happening to me?
After a moment I felt her hands running gently through my hair and down my neck. She pulled up gently on my jaw, making me sit up and look to her. I looked up to her eyes and felt like they were burning holes into my own. She stepped closer, standing between my legs and rested both her hands on either side of my neck.
"I want to try something." she whispered and I tried to look away but she wouldn't let me. She held my gaze for another moment before speaking. "Do you trust me?" she asked quietly and I nodded.
"Of course I do." I told her softly and she nodded. She leaned forward to kiss me and I pulled back a bit.
"What are you-"
"Do you not want me to?" she asked and I faltered. I looked in her eyes and shook my head.
"I do, I just don't want to ruin this." I whispered and she nodded. She slowly leaned in again and I felt her brush her lips with mine.
"Bella…" I whispered against her lips and she pulled back slightly, her eyes closed.
"Trust me." She whispered so quietly I almost missed it. She pressed our lips together softly and I melted. My hands found her hips and I pulled her closer, causing her to gently move her lips over my own. I complied and felt my chest bursting at the feeling. This kiss was delicate and gentle. She deepened the kiss, running her hands softly through the hair on the back of my head, and yet it was still feather light. I ran my hands up her back, accidentally slipping under her shirt and up her bare back. I went to pull away but she moaned softly at the contact. I took that as an invitation to run my fingers over her back, realizing she wasn't wearing a bra, and felt her shiver slightly.
"You ok?" I whispered, breaking apart for a moment. She didn't even open her eyes before nodding and pulling me in again. She kissed me deeper than I'd ever been kissed before and I felt like I'd honestly never be the same. How was I ever going to kiss someone else when it wouldn't compare to this? Her hand slipped to my jaw as she held me in place for a final kiss, before pulling back. I took a moment to savour the feeling before opening my eyes.
"I thought we were pretending it never happened?" I asked quietly. She looked into my eyes and shrugged.
"I just really wanted to be kissed. I haven't been kissed in so long." She told me softly and I felt my chest ache for her.
"Come here." I told her, pulling her back in. I found her lips with my own again and kissed her a bit more hungrily than before. She massaged her fingers through my hair, moving her lips with mine just as needy. I broke apart for a moment.
"One rule?" I asked, catching my breath and she nodded, itching to pull me back in. "Just kissing." I said and she nodded, pulling me in again.
"Deal." She said quickly, kissing me again. I stood up, lifting her off the floor and she wrapped her legs around my waist. I held her close, kissing her deeply before turning her around and setting her on the bed. She pulled my head towards her as she started to lay back and I positioned myself over her. I ran my hand up her side, which was exposed from her shirt riding up. I felt her shiver again and pulled back quickly, causing her to pout.
"Emmett, please." She begged, and I nodded, returning my lips to hers. She moaned softly as I kissed her hard and felt the kiss ramping up. She ran her small hands over my arms and down my chest, slipping them under my shirt. The feel of her fingers running over my bare sides caused me to moan quietly, wanting to feel her body against mine. She grazed my abs and I felt her kiss me harder.
"Holy shit, you're hot." She breathed and I chuckled, catching her lips again with mine. We made out for a few more minutes before she wrapped her fingers in my hair again, pulling on it. I groaned into her mouth and broke the kiss.
"Bella, you can't do that." I told her and she looked at me panting.
"Did I hurt you?" she asked, desperately glancing to my lips. I shook my head quickly.
"No, it makes me want you." I panted and I saw her eyes spark mischievously. She leaned up, kissing me again, her hands wrapping themselves softly and dangerously in my short, dark hair. I kissed her back and felt myself tense and relax as she played with my hair, teasing me.
"Ugh, Bella." I breathed and she giggled. I accidently pressed my hips into hers, my need growing with every second. She gasped and pulled my hair, causing me to moan.
"Fucking Christ." I kissed her as if her lips were a life source and I only had minutes left. She moaned into my mouth, squeezing at my hair again and I grinded into her again. She mimicked my moan and ran her nails over my exposed back. I bucked into her at the contact.
"Fuck…Bella. We can't do more." I groaned and she nodded.
"I know, I just want you." She said quickly, pushing at me as she sat up. I sat quickly and she climbed into my lap, kissed me aggressively. I felt her sitting on my bulge and almost came undone. This Bella wasn't shy. She was hungry and assertive and sexy as hell. We kept making out for another few minutes before she tried to push me back onto the bed. I grabbed her hands and shook my head.
"We need to stop." I panted and she looked at me confused but I glanced to my pants.
"Bella, if you get on top of me, I won't want to stop." I forced her to take a second to process what I was saying and she sighed, nodding.
"I just haven't felt like this in almost a year." She confessed and I nodded. She sighed and sat on the bed facing me. "Was that ok?" she asked and I laughed.
"Are you joking? Under any other circumstance I'd be doing you right now." I told her honestly and saw her eyes spark. I chuckled.
"You really are hard up aren't you." I said and she groaned, running her hands through her hair.
"Yeah." She breathed and I grinned.
"How long has it been since you…you know…got yours." I asked and she laughed.
"Wow! Really? You're going to do me like that?" she asked and I laughed.
"Well I'm not doing you the way I'd like to be doing you so I may as well do you like this." I said and saw her groan, putting her hands over her face.
"Fuck, you can't talk to me like that." She complained and I laughed again.
"That long?" I asked and she huffed, looking at me.
"Aaron even at his best was…a bit selfish. It's been like…14 months since I've gotten off?" she confessed and I felt shock all over my face.
"Excuse me?!" I asked and she signed, nodding.
"He would finish before me and be 'too tired' to keep going…and he had this weird thing about me not getting myself off. He got like…jealous and offended over it. And then it turned bad and I just…wasn't able to." She told me and I shook my head.
"Holy shit…that's…wow. You haven't even tried since coming here?" I asked, not sure if she would be ok with that question. She shook her head.
"No. He made me get rid of my vibrator when we started dating saying I wouldn't be needing it and since leaving him I just…I don't know." She looked down and I grabbed her hand.
"What?" I asked and she sighed.
"I've been…afraid…of that part of me. I didn't know what would happen to my mental state if I even tried to touch myself, and I've just felt like maybe that part of my life is over." She told me quietly. I shook my head.
"Bella, you're eighteen. That part of yourself life is just starting." I told her and she shrugged.
"But what if I can't do it? What if I can't get over what he did." She hung her head and I watched her sadly.
"Are you…ok with what just happened?" I asked, needing to make sure. She nodded, playing with my fingers.
"Yeah…I really am. With you it doesn't feel so scary. Every touch…sets my skin on fire." She confessed quietly and it only made me want her more.
"Can I ask you a question that could possibly ruin this?" I asked hesitantly, a new fear creeping into my head. She looked up to me nervously.
"Em…I…I don't want this to disappear." She said, squeezing my hand. I nodded.
"I know…but…I need to know." I told her and saw her nervous eyes turn scared. She took a deep breath and nodded.
"Ok."
"Do…do you want me because…I look like him?" I asked weakly. Part of me needed to know but the other part was terrified to shatter this feeling. What if she said yes? Could I handle that? What if she realized kissing me was like kissing him…would she be afraid? She looked at me for a moment before sighing.
"I mean…I can't lie and say that isn't part of it. I was so attracted to him…" she confirmed and I dropped my head.
"Am I just…a stand in?" I asked quietly and she quickly got to her knees, her hands on my cheeks.
"God, no…I…no. No way." She said urgently. I looked up to see her wide, serious eyes. "Emmett…yes you're both tall and buff and you look alike but…you're also everything I thought he would be. You're funny and kind and humble and caring and sensitive. You treat me like…like I matter. I kissed you not because of how similar you are but because of how different you are. You're everything I thought I was getting with Aaron and…it just felt like... you don't date…I don't want to date…but you're here in my bed and I…" she trailed off and ran her fingers over my neck. "I just wanted to see how it would feel." She finished. I took a deep breath.
"And?" I asked. She leaned in and kissed me again softly. She pulled back and shrugged.
"What do you think?" she asked and I smiled, nodding.
"Fair enough." She sighed sitting back on her feet.
"I get if this is weird for you or if that's too heavy. I know you don't do this stuff when there's attachment and we are friends. If you want to keep hooking up with only other girls and go back to the way we were I totally get it." I watched her for a moment before furrowing my brow.
"Wait…what?" I asked, surprised. She shrugged.
"I know I'm not a Jess or Lauren…and if you wake up tomorrow and decide this is a bad idea-"
"No, you're not. That's the point. I don't want you to be those girls."
"Yeah but-"
"No." I said, cutting her off. She looked to me surprised and I shook my head. "Bella, you need to stop being so hard on yourself. What is this about? Why do you think I can't find you attractive?" I asked and she sighed.
"Look at me." She said quietly and I nodded.
"You keep saying that. I am…I don't see what you see, Bella." I told her and she shook her head.
"Then you're not looking hard enough, Emmett." She snapped. "Before, I wasn't thin enough. And now I'm so skinny that I barely even have boobs. How sexy…some chick that's skin and bone. I see those other girls Emmett…you think I don't see Jess sizing me up? I do. And I can't compete with that." She ranted and I opened and closed my mouth a few times.
"Bella…your weight has no influence on whether or not I find you attractive. I think you're gorgeous." I told her and she sighed.
"Is it so wrong to want a nice body?" she asked and I shrugged.
"Why isn't it already nice? It's not that you don't have a nice body, Bella. It just doesn't live up to your own expectations. And until you let that go, you won't be happy no matter what you look like. You compare your body to theirs, but I never would. You know what I compare? The fact that you're smart and funny and down to earth. And just now? You were aggressive and forward and not shy about what you wanted. You're sexy, Bella. The way you kissed me…was 10 times better than anything I've done with them." She looked down to her hands and I grabbed them in mine.
"Bella…you need to let this go. You are attractive. Do I want you to gain weight? Yes. I do. So you can be healthy. Will you be a different kind of beautiful then? Yeah, of course. But that doesn't mean you aren't beautiful now." She looked away and I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to me.
"Is this the best idea? I mean…probably not. It sounds messy and weird and not what either of us intended. But…it's fun. And to be honest I kind of like that you're so comfortable with me. I know this isn't something to be taken lightly…I know you're hurting. But if in some weird way this makes you feel better…I guess I'll take one for the team." I told her with a wink and she cracked a smile. "Bella…" she looked up to me and I smiled. "I don't care what size your boobs are or if you need to put on a few pounds. I already thought you were awesome…I already thought you were beautiful." She nodded and sighed.
"Thanks." She whispered. I flipped her onto her back and her eyes went wide. I paused a moment for her to adjust and waited for her to smile before hovering over her.
"I already told you. I don't care if I have to remind you every single day…I will convince you that you're beautiful and worth while." I told her and she smiled to me. I gave her a quick kiss on the nose before standing up and stretching.
I took off my shirt and glanced to my pants.
"We are pretty much past this…but…I sleep in my boxers and-"
"It's cool." She told me and I nodded, taking my jeans off.
"Another rule: no mischief when I'm in my boxers because that's just cruel and unfair torture." I joked as I put my clothes on the chair in the corner of the room. She laughed as I gave her a smile. She sobered.
"Can you sleep between me and the door?" she asked and I nodded, going to the other side. I climbed in beside her, noticing her eyeing my chest.
"Come here." I said, opening my arm to her and she eagerly cuddled in close.
"How is this not weird?" she mumbled and I shrugged.
"I don't know…being close to you just feels right." I told her and she nodded.
"Thank you." She whispered and I kissed the top of her head.
"Get some sleep ok?" She nodded and I yawned. "Goodnight, beautiful." I whispered. I don't know what was happening to me but something about being here with Bella just felt right. I felt happy and relaxed, which is nothing I'd ever felt with a girl before. Being with girls like Jess and Lauren, it was all just casual and routine. Flirt, fuck, and take off. There was no heavy make-out session, there were no soft kisses, no cuddling. It wasn't intimate or personal…it was just sex and if they wanted more it was never genuine and I never allowed it. I glanced down to Bella to see her shoulders moving shallow and rhythmically, already asleep.
If you had have asked me a month ago if I would ever find myself rushing to a girl's house on a school night to make her feel better and cuddle I'd have laughed at you. Emmett Cullen doesn't do these things. He doesn't give a girl a reason to get too attached.
'How's that working out for you?' my brain quipped and I sighed.
'But it's her.'
I ran my hand up and down her half-exposed arm and heard her sigh in her sleep, nuzzling into my bare chest. Feeling her underneath me earlier…it did things to me. Every kiss sent me into a spiral and I honestly didn't want it to stop. After getting to know Bella, I didn't imagine her to be so…forward. She wasn't afraid to show me what she wanted and take charge and it was a huge turn on. A lot of girls I was with either expected me to constantly chase them or thought I should just know what they were thinking. A few talked a big game through text and then were insanely shy once we were in the same room. But Bella…she was like the perfect mix. One minute we are having a soft moment or joking around and the next she's pulling me on top of her by my hair and biting my lip. Teasing me for the hell of it. I closed my eyes at the very fresh memory.
Bella was supposed to be off limits. If not because of Jasper, then because I could never do that to her. I mean… I could do it to her…the lack of willpower tonight was testament to that. But I couldn't ever hurt her. If we got into it and halfway through she got spooked or if she regretted me afterwards…I don't know if I could handle it. I couldn't be the one that made her look the way she did when I got here. Allowing whatever the hell just happened to continue was a massive calculated risk. If Bella suddenly felt she couldn't trust me, it would just be over. Everything I've grown to need would disappear forever. Not to mention I would lose Jasper.
I felt her hot breath on my chest and sighed. But the reward was huge too. I don't quite know what it was about Bella, but touching her was the highlight of my day. Today watching Jacob get to touch her and make her smile…it was hard to accept. I didn't want to date her but I also didn't want her to be with someone else. Hearing Bella tell me that she had told Alice she wouldn't date me and not wanting to ruin my hookups…it cut right into me. I was being selfish of course…I didn't want to date. But I also didn't want her to find it so laughable.
I laid awake for a long time, doing everything in my power to not think about her and Jacob Black.
Bella POV
I walked into English finding Jess hanging around Emmett's desk, trying to find a way into his weekend plans. I walked over, dropping my books on my desk and Emmett looked up to me and smiled.
"Hey, you bring your stuff for tonight?" he asked and I glanced between him and Jess, nodding.
"Yeah, I have everything I'll need. I'm totally pumped to finally meet your parents too." I told him and saw amusement dancing in his eyes. Today was Friday and my girls night with Alice was tonight. I saw Jess' mouth fall open and she stared me down.
"You're meeting his parents?" she asked, trying to sound casual. I shrugged.
"Yeah...I mean I'll be sleeping there so...I assume I'll be meeting them. Right?" I asked him and he tried to bite back a smile, nodding.
"Definitely. They are really excited to meet you." He told me and I smiled. I saw Jess' eyes go wide, looking between us. She settled on me and glared.
"So you're what...like...his girlfriend now or something?" she asked in a snotty voice.
"That's a very personal question." I told her and Emmett laughed out loud. She shot me a final glare and stomped back to her desk. I turned to Emmett to see him still laughing.
"You're such a mean girl." He told me quietly and I shrugged, grinning.
"You like it." I told him and he nodded.
"Yeah, I do." He said with a smile. I opened my books, knowing he loved it when I gave Jess a hard time.
"So, will I actually get to meet them tonight?" I asked quietly and he nodded, turning nervous.
"Yeah...yeah they will be home." I gave him a curious look.
"Why does that seem like a bad thing?" I asked and he sighed.
"It's not. They are great. It's just that my mom has this tendency to...want me to finally bring a girl home. And...she knows we hang out a lot and..." he trailed off and I nodded knowingly.
"Right. So you don't want her to think we are like.. a thing." I supplied and he shrugged.
"Well..." I laughed.
"Emmett...it's ok to say yes. Nothing has changed, I get it." I told him with a smile and he smiled back. And it was true, nothing had really changed between us. Monday night we had our fun and since then, things have been pretty standard. Still close, still growing our friendship quickly. We just hadn't spoken much about it. Neither of us really knew if that would be a one time thing or not...and right now we didn't need to know. I kind of really enjoyed not needing to know, not needing to plan it out or figure out every detail. I could just enjoy Emmett's friendship and not worry about technicalities or what we should be doing. We could be impulsive for now and that felt good. After being controlled for so long, it felt good to be able to make my own choices on a whim.
"You're like the best, best friend ever." He joked and I pretend bowed. He chuckled and opened his own books as the teacher started discussing Lord of the Flies.
It wasn't the first time we'd joked about being best friends but I could now say with certainty that he really was my best friend. After Monday I felt like I could genuinely tell him anything and I knew he felt the same way. Explaining this to my dad however was not as easy.
Tuesday morning we thought we were in the clear, but Tuesday night when I got home from school my dad was waiting for me with a barrage of questions. He'd peaked in to check on me and found Emmett in my bed before we woke up.
"What the hell, Bells? I feel like I shouldn't have to tell you this it inappropriate." He scolded and I sighed.
"Dad, I know how it seems but please just listen to me." He huffed and crossed his arms, waiting for me to continue. I took a deep breath. "Emmett is...he's become my best friend, dad. He's the most caring and kind person I've ever met...he makes me feel better. I've put on 3.5lbs since I got here two and a half weeks ago...that's all because of him. I can tell him anything, and I do." I explained and he watched me for a moment.
"You've told him...everything?" he asked and I nodded.
"I really have, dad. And never once has he crossed a line. He knows that I'm healing and he watches out for me. He even scares off the guys at school that get too close...I called him last night and asked him to come over because..." I trailed off and took a deep breath. "Jake kind of crossed a boundary." I held up my hand as he moved to speak. "It's ok, I just...I found it tough to bounce back from it. Jake felt terrible...he didn't mean to but...it bothered me. And Emmett dropped everything and came here to make sure I was ok. I just didn't want to be alone after that." I saw him slowly soften.
"He really did that for you?" he asked and I nodded.
"He did. Dad, he's...he's really important to me. And I trust him with every fiber of my being. Please just...try to understand." I begged and he watched me for a moment before sighing.
"He didn't try anything?" I shook my head, not really lying considering I was the one that kissed him.
"He was a perfect gentleman. He just wants me to get better." He scratched his neck and nodded.
"I'm not saying you should be making a habit of this...but...I trust you. And if he really is making you feel better...I guess...I can accept it." I smiled and nodded.
"Thanks, dad." I said quietly and he nodded, giving me a quick hug.
I watched Emmett for a few moments and he turned to me, surprised. I smiled and he smiled back. He really was incredible. I started feeling the urge to kiss him and glanced to his lips. I saw them twitch into a smirk and realized I'd be caught. I tried not to smile, failing. I don't know what it was about him, but I didn't feel bashful. I sighed and turned back to the lesson, knowing I shouldn't get myself worked up here. I heard him chuckle quietly and looked down, grinning.
"Shut up." I whispered and he chuckled more.
"Mr. Cullen. Miss Swan. Anything you'd like to share?" the teacher asked and we shook our heads.
"Nope." Emmett said and I tried not to smile at his cheek.
"Sorry, Mr. Flax." I said and he gave us a pointed look before turning back to the board. I bit my cheek trying not to smile as Emmett gave my leg a squeeze. I looked up to see Jess glaring at me again and felt a bit of satisfaction knowing Emmett would never touch her again the way he touches me now.
"Bella would it be ok if Jasper popped in tonight?" Alice asked as Emmett and I sat down at their table in the cafeteria. I glanced to him.
"Umm...not really. We don't really get along." I quipped seriously and Emmett laughed. I giggled at Jasper. "Yeah, of course. No worries." I told her and she grinned.
"Miss Marie. You're in a good mood." He smiled and I nodded, glancing to Emmett. I'd been in a better mood all week.
"Yeah, we had fun picking on Jess in class." I said and Emmett chuckled.
"Her head about spun around when Bella said she was sleeping over tonight and meeting my parents." He laughed and Jasper looked between us.
"You really want Jess thinking you're off the market?" he asked, a bit surprised. I grabbed a chip off Emmett's plate and popped it in my mouth, turning back to my salad. He smiled to me and shrugged.
"Man, it's Jess. I don't really care what she thinks." He told Jasper and I noticed Alice and Jasper share a look. I felt my brow furrow at the action and caught Alice's eye. She smiled and looked away, avoiding my gaze. I looked to Emmett and felt like there was something someone wasn't telling me. Emmett seemed innocent enough though, so I let it go. There was no reason I had not to believe Emmett, not that I even cared if he wanted to hook up with Jess. He just seemed indifferent to her at this point and I believed him.
"So what's the plan for tonight?" I asked Alice and she nodded.
"Jasper is going to come over for a game or something after dinner if that's cool? I figured Emmett would end up crashing the party anyway." She told me, smirking to him. He glanced to me smiling and I laughed.
"Sounds about right." I nodded and she smiled.
"Then we will just split off and have some girl time." She told me and I nodded.
"Sounds good." I didn't really care either way, but it would be nice to get to know Alice better. I was definitely closer to Emmett at this point but Alice was such a nice person and we got along really well. Now that her and Jasper were official, I figured it was time to get to know her better.
"Ok, don't be long." Emmett warned Alice as we split off to change after phys-ed. I laughed as Alice rolled her eyes at him.
"Yeah, yeah." She said and walked with me to the change room.
"Boys. They don't get that this takes time." She told me with a smile and I nodded.
"You do look fantastic." I told her and she paused for a moment before smiling to me.
"Thank you." She said genuinely and I nodded. Every time I complimented Alice she was so sweet about it, it was cute. I changed quickly, tossing on a pair of skinny jeans that fit me really well and a ribbed white half button up, long sleeve shirt. It was soft and form fitting and didn't hang off me. I had bought a few more outfits online and was feeling a bit better about my body, having clothes that fit well and didn't look sloppy. It also helps that I'd officially put on 4lbs now. I know that doesn't sound like a lot but...I had to work at it every day. Emmett had been so proud of me when I told him yesterday.
"Hey Alice, I'm just going to wait in the hall." I told her and she nodded, fixing her hair. I walked out of the change room to find Emmett standing alone in the hallway against the wall.
"Why can't it be that fast for her?" He asked and I laughed.
"Oh give her a break. It's not that bad." I told him, leaning beside him. He smiled to me.
"I like that shirt. I meant to tell you earlier." He told me and I smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
"Thanks." I said quietly and he smiled. "Jasper leave?" I asked and he nodded.
"Yeah, he wanted to get home and eat quickly." He explained glancing to me, suddenly nervous.
"Something wrong?" I asked and he sighed.
"My mom...planned this big meal for dinner. I tried to talk her out of it but...she doesn't know." He told me and I felt surprise on my face.
"She doesn't?" I asked and he shook his head.
"Of course not...I wasn't going to tell without asking you first." He told me and I turned to him, leaning against the wall with my shoulder. I shrugged.
"Yeah but...your dad knows." I said, having realized last week that Dr. Cullen was Emmett's dad. It hadn't clicked when we met. He looked down uncomfortably.
"Yeah...but he doesn't talk about his patients. I only found out you'd seen him Sunday when he saw you in my Jeep out the window." I gave him a curious look and he sighed. "He gave me the 'don't do anything stupid' speech." He explained and I laughed.
"Ouch...is your dad cock-blocking you?" I asked and his eyes snapped to me, shock clear on his face.
"Wow. Someone's feisty today." He teased and I laughed, shrugging. He glanced to my lips.
"Keep this energy going." He said quietly and I felt a surge of hormones flood my body. I bit my lip and shook my head.
"Stop it." I laughed and he grinned.
"Oh right...I'm sorry. I forgot how easy it is." He said, glancing to my pants and I shook my head, turning away from him. He was bugging me about being 'easily frustrated'. He chuckled at me. "Still haven't fixed that problem?" he teased and I sighed.
"No, I haven't. Don't remind me." I groaned and he turned to me, his body now fully facing me.
"I'd love to help with that." He said and my eyes snapped to his, excitement burning inside me. His eyes were mischievous. "I can send you some websites that always help me." He finished and my jaw fell open and I shook my head.
"You suck." I told him and he chuckled. I turned to see Alice finally emerging from the change room, looking to us and smiling. I gave Emmett one final warning look and he smirked. If I got him alone later...I was going to make him suffer.
We pulled up to their house and I admired it for the second time. It was set back in the forest, secluded and private. I got out of the Jeep, admiring the large wrap around porch that held a few chairs, a small table, and the cutest porch swing. I smiled to Alice as she linked my arm, leading me up to walkway. We entered the house and took our shoes off, putting them in a closet in the foyer. I took in the gorgeous home. There were medium brown wood floors as far as my eye could see, fresh flowers on a foyer desk with a beautiful beige upholstered bench beside it, greyish blue cushions on it, styled perfectly. The walls were white and everything was so clean and cozy. There were stairs off to the left with a beautiful wooden banister, open to the foyer. I turned to Emmett and he smiled.
"My mom is an interior decorator." He told me and I nodded, realization on my face. Alice dropped her backpack by the bench and put her coat in the closet and I followed suit. Emmett motioned for me to follow him and we followed Alice down the hall where the house opened into a gorgeous open concept space. There was a huge kitchen to my right and a warm family room to the left. Ahead of me was a set of huge glass doors and a whole wall of windows, looking out over the back yard and forest. I could see a pool and hot tub in the back, with a perfectly decorated covered patio that had an outdoor kitchen and seating area with a fire bowl. I looked around, seeing the same coloured beige furniture as the bench in the foyer. There was an oversized, plush looking couch facing a lit fireplace with a huge flat screen over the mantel. There was a matching loveseat and cuddle chair on either side of the couch, framing the space. Of course, there were the same blue cushions and a blue throw decorating the furniture perfectly, and a huge beige area rug. I looked around me and saw a bathroom tucked away at the very end of the hall before the space opened up.
I looked to the kitchen, seeing a beautiful woman smiling to us. She was standing at the island, chopping ingredients and putting them in a bowl. All of the cabinets in the kitchen were white with white countertops. I smiled to her and felt Emmett gently push the small of my back, leading me to the island.
"Bella! It's so nice to finally meet you!" she greeted warmly, wiping her hands and coming around the island to hug me. I smiled and hugged her back, feeling her tense when she touched me. She pulled away, her smile never faltering.
"It's nice to meet you too, Mrs. Cullen." She gave me a sweet look and scoffed.
"Please, call me Esme." I nodded and looked at the food she was preparing. I saw her falter for a moment, looking to Alice and Emmett before her eyes drifted to me again.
"Oh...yes um...I'm just...throwing something together." She said nervously and I gave her a warm smile.
"It smells great. What are you making?" I asked and she watched me for a second before nodding, going back around the island. I walked over and hopped up on one of the upholstered, beige barstools lining the island.
"Well...I'm making a lasagna." She told me and I smiled.
"I love lasagna." I confessed and she gave me a warm smile.
"Yeah?" she asked and I nodded. I felt Emmett come up beside me, Alice sitting herself down on the other stool. I glanced to him and he gave me a big smile, giving my back a quick but gentle pat. I saw Esme look to Emmett, her smile growing. She turned back to me and refocused.
"I'm so glad. Carlisle will be home around 5, so dinner wont be ready until then." she said. I could tell she was still nervous. I don't know how she knew...but she seemed to know immediately. I nodded.
"That's perfect. I need a bit anyway." I told her and she smiled. She was such a happy, warm woman. I couldn't help but compare her to my own mother. I loved my mom...but I spent my whole life taking care of her. Esme made me feel so warm.
"Emmett, can you help me with a few things in the car?" she asked and he nodded, giving my shoulder a squeeze before turning and following his mom down the hall. I could hear the door open and close, telling me they had gone out.
"Your mom is so cute." I told Alice and she smiled.
"She's pretty great." I nodded, looking around.
"Your house is incredible." I told her and she nodded.
"Mom really knows how to create a mood." She laughed and I nodded. It felt like home and I'd only been here a few minutes. "What game do you want to play tonight?" she asked and I shrugged.
"What do you have?" I asked and she hopped off the stool, walking over to the large beige ottoman coffee table. I walked over as she took the serving tray off of it and opened it up, revealing all the crap you don't know what to do with. There were board games, extra cushions, another throw, gaming controllers, and a few other things. We started sifting through the games as Emmett and Esme came back, Emmett carrying two bags into the kitchen. Esme smiled softly to me and I knew he'd told her. Not that I minded...I'm sure she had asked him. He gave me a reassuring smile and I turned back to Alice.
"Life, Monopoly, Apples to Apples, Uno, Clue, Candy Land?!" I said, going through the games. Emmett walked over, chuckling. "Dude I haven't played Candy Land in like...a decade," I told him and he shook his head.
"I'm not playing Candy Land." He told me and I laughed, nudging him. Alice starting pulling more out.
"Oo...Scrabble." I commented and he laughed again, sitting on the couch.
"How very Bella of you." He said and I shot him a look.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked and he shrugged.
"You're such a nerd for the English language." I laughed loudly.
"We could play Twister!" Alice said grinning, pulling it out. I nodded, looking in to see what else was there.
"Alice, whyyy." Emmett complained and she rolled her eyes.
"Stretch once in a while and you wouldn't be so bad at it." She quipped and I laughed, looking into the ottoman. Emmett looked to me and grinned.
"I see you eyeing up the Boggle." He teased and I hit him with one of the throw pillows. He caught it and pulled, causing me to fall onto the couch beside him.
"You want to fight, Swan?" he asked and I watched him for a moment, turning serious.
"Please don't call me that." I said quietly so Esme wouldn't hear. Alice paused, though not looking to us and the smile fell from Emmett's face. He nodded.
"I'm sorry." He said nervously and I nodded.
"It's ok." I said and he slowly reached for my hand, waiting for me to move the final few inches to make contact. Once I did, he pulled me to sit beside him, tossing an arm around my shoulders. He tucked me into his side and I relaxed.
Aaron called me by my last name when he was angry with me.
Alice kept pulling a few more games out before looking to the small pile she'd set aside.
"Ok so, Twister, Jenga, and a couple decks of cards. Maybe we can play poker or something?" she asked and I nodded.
"Do you know euchre?" I asked and they both shook their heads. I heard Esme laugh.
"Carlisle and I tried to teach them but apparently it isn't 'cool'." She told me and I laughed, turning to face her, Emmett shifting so his hand was resting on my leg.
"Would you like to play?" I asked and she grinned to me.
"Oh, we don't want to intrude." She told me and I shook my head.
"It would be fun! Jasper can play too so we'd have three teams." She nodded, still grinning to me.
"That would be nice." She said happily and I smiled. I felt Emmett give my leg a squeeze and turned to see him smiling to me, his eyes soft.
"Hey mom, can we crack a bottle of wine later?" Alice asked and Esme turned serious.
"Now Alice..." she said glancing to me and I smiled.
"Oh mom, Bella's not going to tell." Alice told her and I laughed.
"Yeah, my dad started giving me beer years ago." I told her and she softened.
"Well, I guess I don't see the harm. I don't have anything nice though…maybe I can run out." She said, looking around the kitchen. I stood up and walked over to her, feeling Emmett following closely.
"I can watch the kitchen if you'd like?" I asked and she looked to me surprised.
"Do you like to cook, Bella?" she asked and I nodded.
"Yeah, I've done a lot of the cooking at home for years now. Neither my mom or dad were ever very good at it." I joked and she smiled, nodding.
"Ok…sure that would be great." She told me.
"What do you need done next?" I asked and she pointed to the peppers and onions.
"I need those chopped, the garlic chopped finely, and if possible, could you heat up my sauce?" she asked, pointing to the jars on the counter. I nodded.
"Yeah, no problem." She smiled to me and gave me a quick squeeze.
"Thanks, Bella." She said cheerily and took off her apron, tossing it on the counter. She disappeared down the hallway and Emmett nudged me.
"You didn't tell me you could cook." He said and I shrugged.
"Why would I? You'd just use it against me." I teased and he grinned, patting his stomach.
"Yeah, now that I know you're going to be spending a lot of time in the kitchen." I laughed and grabbed the cutting board that sat on the island and wiped the knife. Alice grabbed her phone as it buzzed and smiled.
"I'll be right back, it's Jazz." She told us and I nodded. Emmett sat down at the island and watched me as I started cutting up the peppers.
"They are so cute." I told Emmett who sighed.
"Yeah…always good to know my friend is banging my sister." He said and I laughed.
"Ooooh. So, you're just sticking it to him then." I joked and he looked to me confused, before realization came over him.
"You don't really think that…do you?" he asked and I smiled.
"No, I'm just bugging you." I told him and he looked relieved.
"I'm really sorry about what I said." He told me seriously. I nodded.
"It's ok, you didn't know." I told him and he nodded.
"What's the story there?" he asked and I shrugged, cutting up the next pepper.
"Not a whole lot, Aaron would just call me by my last name a lot when he was mad. Usually led to a not so fun night." I told him and he sighed, getting up and coming around the island. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and gave me a hug. He stood there holding me for a moment before relaxing.
"You have no idea how badly I want to hurt him." He told me as he leaned on the counter beside me. I nodded.
"I know." I whispered. He looked around sighing, grabbing the sauce jars.
"Can I help?" he asked and I smiled to him.
"Yeah…of course. Open those jars and pour them into a pot, put a lid on and set the stove to simmer." I directed and he nodded, getting started. I started on the garlic, crushing it with the knife before peeling it and chopping.
"So, you told your mom?" I asked and he paused before nodding.
"Yeah…she…she asked." I nodded.
"It's ok, I assumed so."
"She isn't going to say anything about it but you don't have to hide. I told her you're doing amazing and that you'll eat what you can. She said anything is fine and you don't need to feel uncomfortable or pressured." He told me and I nodded, feeling a bit nervous. I tried to put on a brave face with Esme to ease her discomfort but I was already a bit stressed about it.
"Thanks." I said and he grabbed my arm, making me face him.
"Hey…really. You don't need to be afraid. Not here…you're safe and accepted no matter what, ok?" He asked and I took a deep breath, nodding. He glanced to my lips and I smirked this time. He groaned, turning away.
"Well, well, well. Look who's hard up now." I teased and he shook his head.
"You have no idea." He complained quietly. I walked over to him, putting my hands on his abs and looking up to him seriously.
"I can help with that." I whispered and saw his eyes turn hungry, his breath hitching.
"Yeah?" he whispered and I nodded, tracing his abs through his shirt. He glanced down to my hands.
"I heard…there are some really good sites for this." I told him, pulling away with a smirk. His mouth hung open, shock and disappointment evident on his face. I laughed and turned back to the garlic.
"Not cool!" he groaned and I nodded.
"Sucks, doesn't it? And not in the good way." I teased, chopping. I glanced to him and saw his mouth still hanging open.
"Are you seriously trying to tease me with a blow job joke?" he asked and I shrugged.
"Is it working?" I asked and he slowly turned away.
"Shut up." He mumbled and I laughed. After a few minutes, I heard the front door open and close. I looked up after a moment to see Esme come back into view, carrying a bag. She smiled to us and put her bag on the counter.
"You got Emmett to help in the kitchen?" she asked, her eyes amused. I smiled.
"He offered actually." I told her and she grinned, looking to him.
"Where has this guy been the last eighteen years?" she asked him and he shook his head.
"Yeah, yeah. You're welcome for making this incredible sauce." I laughed and turned to him.
"Easy there Emeril. You heated it in a pot." I told him, causing Esme to laugh heartily.
"I like her." She told Emmett with a smile and he rolled his eyes, turning to me, giving me a look. I knew she was bugging him and I smiled.
"Ok, no. No, you two can't gang up on me." He said looking between us. I laughed and Esme winked to me. She looked around at our progress and nodded.
"Looks great, thank you so much." She told me with a smile. She put a few bottles of wine and some beer in the fridge and began puttering around the kitchen again.
"Did you need any help?" I asked and she shook her head with a smile.
"No, no. You two go relax. Where is Alice?" she asked and Emmett shrugged.
"Where else? On the phone." I nudged him.
"Be nice." I said with a smirk and he chuckled. Esme grinned at us and shooed us away.
"Go have fun." She told us and we nodded, Emmett motioning for me to follow him. He led me down the hall to the stairwell and I followed him up. At the top of the stairs there was a bathroom, then a few doors down the hallway. He led me past the first door and I could hear Alice talking inside, breaking into a giggle. He stopped at his room, which was the next door across the hall, and led me in, closing the door behind us.
The walls were a rich navy blue with white trim. A queen-sized bed sat against the far wall with navy bedding, two white night stands on either side with white and black lamps on each. He had a white dresser near the door, a white desk underneath the window with a white bookshelf beside it, looking out over the backyard, some Seattle Seahawks memorabilia on the shelves and walls, and more than a few posters of half-dressed women. I raised an eyebrow, motioning to one.
"Super classy." I told him and he chuckled.
"I thought so."
"You can definitely tell your mom is a decorator." I commented and he nodded, looking around.
"Yeah, I just kind of told her to do whatever." He said with a shrug. I looked around and after a few moments realized Emmett was watching me. I gave him a curious look and he smiled.
"What?" I asked and he shrugged, sitting on the bed.
Emmett POV
Watching Bella with my mom was...confusing. I don't know why it made me so sentimental, but it put a warmth in my chest that I just couldn't shake. I love my mom...there's a reason I don't introduce her to the female company I keep. I'm embarrassed.
But Bella was amazing with her. The way they got along right away and teased me together was just...I don't know. It felt like Bella just belonged and it made me unexplainably happy. Seeing my mom's approval felt better than I thought it would. I knew I didn't want to disappoint her by bringing someone like Jess around but...to see her light up when Bella spoke made me really proud to have someone like her in my life. My mom meant a lot to me...her opinion was really important.
I watched Bella hang by the dresser, looking confused. I held out my hand with a smile and she hesitated before walking over and taking my hand. I pulled her to me so she was standing between my legs, her hands finding the tops of my shoulders as usual.
"Why so hesitant?" I asked and she shrugged.
"You're acting weird." She said with a laugh and I looked down, feeling a bit embarrassed that I was showing how off I felt. I looked back up and smiled.
"Sorry. I'm just not used to this. I'm really glad you're here." I told her and she smiled.
"Me too." I looked to her lips for a moment and sighed.
"So...uh...where do we stand on this whole...kissing thing." I asked and she laughed.
"Emmett Cullen. Are you trying to say you want to kiss me?" she asked and I shrugged.
"No...I mean...no." I said, suddenly feeling nervous. She shrugged as well and pulled away.
"Oh, ok then, I'll just go back downstairs." She told me and turned to walk away. I popped up and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her onto the bed in a tackle.
"Oh no you don't!" I wrestled with her as she laughed, trying to get her on her back. She pushed at me, trying to wrestle back but she was no match for me. I tickled her a bit and her defenses fell as she laughed manically.
"No! No! S-stop!" she gasped and I laughed, getting her on her back. I pinned her arms down and went to gloat when I saw a strange look in her eyes.
"Stop." She said quietly and I gave her a confused look. She shook her head, panic settling in as she started to try to pull her arms free.
"Stop...get off. Get off me." She said quickly and I realized I was hovering over her, pinning her to my bed. I jumped off her and the bed, moving quickly across the room to give her space. She sat up quickly, pushing herself into the headboard, breathing heavily. Her eyes never left me, watching my every move carefully, her lack of trust evident. I held up my hands slowly.
"I'm so sorry." I said quietly, and she only watched me. I chanced a step toward her and she shook her head.
"Stay away from me." She said quickly and I took another step back, my chest aching. I nodded, staying as far away from her as I could, giving her a few minutes of silence. Her eyes never left me, as if she didn't trust me to stay away. After about two minutes I spoke.
"Bella...I never meant to scare you. We were joking around and I didn't even think about what I was doing." She watched me quietly, her knees to her chest. "Bella, I would never hurt you. I swear." I told her. She still didn't move. "Can...can I come a little closer?" I asked and her eyes widened a bit. I held up my hands. "I won't move until you say I can." I told her and she watched me for another moment before nodding slowly. I stayed still. "Is that a yes?" I asked and she nodded hesitantly. I took a few steps and paused.
"I'm just going to wait here a few seconds, ok?" I asked and she tensed a bit before nodding. I waited and saw her eyes turning glassy. I felt my chest ache but knew I needed to wait. Under no circumstance could I touch her until she relaxed.
"Emmett?" She whispered and I nodded urgently.
"It's just me, beautiful." I told her softly and her shoulders slumped and tears started to fall down her cheeks.
"Come back." She whispered and I closed the gap to her in a second. I pulled her into my arms and felt her melt into my chest. She cried into my shirt and I gripped her tighter.
"Shhh...it's ok, it's just me." I whispered.
"I'm so sorry." She cried and I shook my head, pulling her back to look at me.
"Do not apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. Thank you for telling me it was too much." More tears fell down her cheeks and I wiped them away quickly. "Don't ever be afraid to tell me no, and never apologize for it. Do you understand me?" I asked and she nodded
"Ok." She whispered and I nodded.
"I'm so sorry." I told her and pulled her in again. She settled into my chest and sighed.
"Thank you." She told me, her tears slowing. The pain I felt was crippling. That was the look I was terrified to see. I never wanted to put that fear into her eyes and yet here I was, fucking it all up. She pulled away and sighed. I pulled my hands back and sat beside her, giving her a moment to adjust. She looked to me and reached for my hand but I pulled away. She gave me a confused look.
"What are you doing?" she asked, her voice tired. I shook my head.
"I just-"
"Don't do this." She told me and I watched her shake her head. "Don't pull away from me. I'm sorry for what I said...but I don't actually want you to stay away from me. I...I just meant in that moment." I nodded, looking to my hands. "Emmett..." she said, touching my hand and I didn't move, afraid to scare her. She sighed. "Emmett, please. Look...we had a mishap. I knew it would happen eventually...so did you. But we just...move past it." She told me and I looked to her face, seeing her eyes had softened. She pulled on my hand and I hesitated.
"Emmett. It's over now...just relax." She told me and I sighed.
"What if I do it again?" I asked and she shrugged.
"Then it happens again." I shook my head.
"I don't want that." I told her, pulling my hand away. I went to move off the bed but she grabbed me, straddling my lap.
"Stop." She insisted and I looked to her, surprised.
"Bella, what are you doing?" I asked and she shook her head.
"Emmett, it was one little mistake. It was one second of flashback for me and I got upset. But that moment is over. You gave me space, you let me come down and remember that I'm here with you. I just needed to let those feelings fade...that doesn't mean I don't want to be near you." She told me. She put her hands on my neck and I started to feel nervous, feeling a growing need for her. I didn't know where to put my hands and looked down.
"Emmett...please just...touch me." She whispered and I took a deep breath. I put my hands gently on her sides and she sighed.
"I know you can do better than that." She told me and I shook my head.
"Bella I-" But she cut me off by planting her lips on mine. The ache in my chest only grew and she pulled away only slightly, her forehead resting on mine.
"Kiss me." She whispered and leaned back in. She started moving her lips over mine and I melted, kissing her back. She sighed into my lips and I ran my hands up her back and into her hair. She kissed me softly, trailing her fingers gently over the back of my neck. I deepened the kiss, pulling her closer to my body and she quietly moaned at the contact. After a few more seconds I slowed us back down, giving her a final kiss before pulling back. She smiled to me and I sighed.
"I don't ever want to hurt you." I told her quietly and she nodded.
"I know...and if you want to stop this...I understand." I looked at her a moment before sighing.
"I don't know if I can stop." I whispered and I saw a spark in her eyes. She smiled to me and shrugged.
"So, we just...wing it. I just need you to be patient with me. And...if it happens again just...do exactly what you did. I trust you, Emmett. Sometimes I just lose myself. But I'll always come back." I nodded.
"I'm here for you." I told her and she nodded, giving me a final, soft kiss on the lips. She moved off my lap and sat cross-legged on my bed and I flipped on the TV on my dresser. I queued up How I Met Your Mother and sat against the headboard. We sat like that for about ten minutes before Alice opened the door without knocking.
"What are you doing?" She asked, eyeing me. I gave her a confused look.
"Watching TV?" I asked and she looked between Bella and I, skeptically. Bella laughed.
"Are you waiting for something?" she asked and Alice shrugged.
"No I just like to annoy him." She told her with a smile and I shook my head.
"You're good at it too." I mumbled.
"Sorry I took so long. I was talking to Jasper and then Jess called me all in a huff." She told us and Bella giggled."
"Oh no...how sad." She said sarcastically. Alice smirked.
"Yeah, she was asking why you were here this weekend and if she could come hang out." I shook my head.
"How desperate can she be?" I asked and Alice rolled her eyes.
"Pretty desperate. She asked me if you two were dating." I glanced to Bella.
"What did you tell her?" I asked and she laughed.
"That you never tell me anything so how the hell would I know." I chuckled.
"Atta girl, Alice. Keep her in the dark." She smiled.
"You realize though if you're going to let her think you're dating Bella...you can't sleep with her." Alice told me seriously and I gave her a look.
"Ok?" she rolled her eyes at me.
"Emmett, she will think she has this big one up on Bella and will never let her forget it." She told me and I realized she was right. I definitely couldn't let Jess think I was cheating on Bella with her. I nodded.
"I wasn't going to do that anyway. We are just getting a kick out of bugging her so maybe she will stop being so clingy." I told her and she nodded, glancing to Bella. I could see it in her eyes. She didn't believe me. Bella stood up and motioned to the door
"I'm just going to run to the washroom." She told us and I nodded. As soon as she was gone, Alice turned to me.
"You can't lie to me." She told me and I furrowed my brow.
"About what?" I asked and she shook her head.
"I see the way you look at her, Emmett."
"Yeah, so?"
"You can go ahead and lie to her or yourself as much as you want. But that's not how you look at a friend." I gave her a confused look.
"We are friends. How else would I look at her?" I asked. Sure, I'd been feeling weird lately but I was just in a bit of a dry spell.
"I know this is new to you, so I'll just spell it out. You like her, Emmett." I laughed.
"Be serious." I told her and she nodded.
"I am. You are drawn to her. You move when she moves. You always need to find a reason to touch her. You care about her so deeply...you like her." I shook my head.
"That's impossible. I don't 'like' people." She smiled to me, sitting on my bed.
"Deny it all you want, brother. Bella's getting to you." I watched her for a moment before Bella came back, coming to sit beside me on the bed. I looked to her, seeing her smile at me before turning to Alice. They started chatting about their biology assignment and I thought about Alice's accusation. There was no way I liked Bella. I don't like people. I don't date, I don't develop feelings. She was my best friend.
'Your friend you make out with?' my brain accused and I glanced to Bella. Yeah, we've crossed that line but...it's just because...
I thought for a long time about why that is, and couldn't come up with a good reason. I looked to Bella again and saw her glance to me, laughing.
"What do you want?" she teased and I smiled, shaking my head. "Stop! You're freaking me out." She joked, shoving her hand in my face. I laughed, grabbing her hand. Our hands settled together on my lap and she leaned against the headboard, falling back into conversation with Alice. I notice Alice give me a smirk and I looked down to our hands.
That's when it all made sense. The tightening in my chest, the nervousness, the urge to kiss her, the need to be near her every day, the peaceful sleep when I'm with her. The reason I haven't taken anyone up on the offer to hookup since I started hanging out with Bella. The reason I don't care if those hookups think I'm no longer available.
I liked Bella.
HOLY LONG CHAPTER. I hope you guys enjoyed it! It's PACKED with Emmett/Bella goodness. I took a major spin on how I wrote their friendship in Pinky Swear Promise. No worries though, I'm still a massive fan of the slow burn. It won't be that easy ;)
Thanks to those who reviewed/followed/favourited/alerted, keep it up!
Song: It's Time To Go – Taylor Swift