Buck POV

Waking up from another hazy dreamless night Buck finds himself standing in the mirror and sees a stranger in the mirror. The person had sunken and tired eyes, dry lips, and pale skin. He is well aware that that's how he looks, but he couldn't help but deny that was even him.

'Well, Maddie will definitely notice that I haven't been sleeping well.' And with that, he sets himself in cleaning himself up first then eats despite knowing that he might not have the appetite to eat anything at all.

He didn't really feel like driving, plus he's still dizzy from yesterday's skirmish with the drugs.

'Drugs. Why did I even…'

Buck cut himself off before he even thinks of it. He couldn't exactly remember why he did it, but he knew he took the easy way out, and instead of facing his problems he just ran away from them. Like what his parents did when they lost Daniel. On that note, why did he even say yes to talking to Maddie? Alas, she, Taylor, and Hen are basically bloodhounds who can smell it if something is off, even though everything was off at the moment and in the air.

He hadn't heard of Taylor since he got out of the station which was weird considering how much support she had been giving him recently. Looking around his empty apartment he tries to remember what had triggered him into taking the pills as he does an itch appears and reaching into his pocket he feels the pills and it eases his mind.

He was looking at his jeep's keys and he knew it was a bad idea to drive to Maddie's so pulls his phone to order an Uber. Unlocking his phone he sees the multiple calls and texts off Eddie his heart sank. He didn't even want to read them so presses down and deletes the message history and goes into the contacts blocking Eddie's number. Buck knew he was crying because tears hit the phone screen. Oddly enough, he didn't feel like he was crying but the teardrops said otherwise. He quickly wipes them away and orders a uber.

The wait for the uber felt like an eternity which was making the itch more and more prompt but Buck held it off and soon was in the uber heading to Maddie's. The drive was usually full of traffic and the uber driver shouting at people cutting them off Buck laughed he had this driver a few times.

"Late at night was it Buck?" The driver asks.

"Something like that Paul, how have you been? Haven't seen you in a while?"

"Yeah, all good, so you know that Taylor Kelly woman right?" Paul asks, it was an odd question but Buck knew he had mentioned going to hers a few times.

"I do, why?" Buck questions, a bit of panic hit him and he couldn't place it, was Taylor in trouble is that why he hadn't heard of her?.

"Just wondering if she mentioned to you any more information on the story about the firefighter who sexually assaulted that woman?" There it was like an explosion of memories at once Buck remembered why he had hit the pills hard last night catching the glimpse of his friend on TV reporting about an assault. Anger built up as he remembered the story had been posted for a day and Maddie hadn't said anything.

"No, sorry." Buck blurts out.

The driver nods and they head towards Maddie's apartment. Buck starts scrolling through the news feeds and he doesn't have to look too far. Reading the information he was thankful his name wasn't mentioned, was that Taylor's doing? Or are they just building up suspense to get more people to look? Buck's head was in full panic mode and something was burning in his pocket willing to take away the panic and ease him. And despite wanting to take one now he holds out as they pull up on Maddie's place.

Buck knocks thrice before a disheveled Maddie opens the door. She looked like she just got out of limbo because her hair was still undone, her face a mess, and in her pajamas. She smiled when she saw him and she hugged him.

"Buck, come on in…" She invites him inside and sees Chimney holding little Jee-Yun who was peacefully sleeping in his arms.

'To be a father. What does it feel like?' Buck thinks as he sits down on their living room couch. A place where he previously crashed in while he was looking for a place to live at.

"Hey, Buck. Coffee?" Chim says while gently laying Jee-Yun on the crib.

"Yeah…" Buck replies avoiding eye contact with Chim.

Then all he heard was shuffling to and from the kitchen, and amidst all that he could hear them both whispering in there. Probably discussing how they should handle another unstable Buckley.

As much as Maddie hid it, he knew she was suffering from depression, probably postpartum. She wasn't attentive, most of the time Chimney said she was just rushing around as it would seem like she was trying to get away from Jee-Yun, and she wasn't mostly present. When Chimney told him privately before he and everyone else went for the party he looked it up and it all matched. And that would also explain why Chim wasn't at the party that night.

After a bit he could see a cup of coffee in front of him and was placed on the table, looking up he saw Chim smiling at him sympathetically. Then he sees him go to the kitchen leaving Buck, Maddie, and little Jee-Yun in the living room.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Buck asks and he could see that Maddie was hesitant at first but then swallows hard.

"Where were you really yesterday?" Maddie asks and this time it was Buck's turn to swallow, hard.

Eddie's POV

That confrontation was a mess. Good thing he left Chris at Abuela's yesterday. He knows it's done now. He told Ana to fuck off and leave so that takes care of one thing, the next one is Buck.

How on earth is he going to do this? He always had a plan before, a guide that would help him deal with situations. He needed some sage advice, but he didn't want to burden Abuela with it, thinking about it there was one person who deep down he knew would get him and what he's been through even though she may not want to talk. Taking his phone out he presses the dial and expects to be ignored but lets out a sigh of relief when the voice rings through.

"Hey, Eddie." Hen's voice rings through him; she doesn't sound mad but caring, and it's enough to set him off the emotions again overwhelming him.

"Hen, can we talk?" he stutters out.

"Where are you?" Hen immediately asks and Eddie notices that her tone was that of someone concerned instead of irritation as he would expect her to be.

Eddie sighs deeply he didn't want to say, he looks around and sees the men preparing the fight ring. The judging looks he knew he would get, and the backlash off Bobby for going back there but it was the only place he felt in full control.

"Eddie, meet me at the cafe on fourth ave in thirty minutes, ok?" Hen's words break him out of his daze.

"Yeah, I'll meet you there." Eddie says and turns to walk away from the ring looking up in hopes his tears won't fall.

"Are you not fighting tonight Diaz, it has been a while?" A voice shouts.

"No. Not today." Eddie simply responds and heads to his truck.

If there is one thing that he misses from being in Texas, it's that the traffic there isn't as severe as the ones in LA. Add on to the heat, to which he has grown accustomed to, and the hot-headed temperament of some drivers is enough to piss people off. Especially around rush hour. But today he was lucky as when he went out for the drive traffic wasn't that bad. Yet.

He made it to the cafe with five minutes to spare. He orders two coffees, one strong black for him and one macchiato with a dash of cinnamon for Hen. Waiting has never been this stressful for Eddie as he was thinking of what he should say, or even how he should talk with Hen, especially yesterday's fiesta of events.

A few more moments wait and he sees Hen enter and he does a small wave to signal her.

"Macchiato early this morning huh?" Hen greets him as she sits in front of him and takes a sip. "With a dash of cinnamon? How'd you know?"

"You're not the only one who notices things Hen. I've seen you on multiple occasions adding cinnamon to your coffee whenever we got off a stressful call or after a long day." Eddie casually states as he mixes his coffee.

"I'm guessing this is about yesterday." Hen inquires before setting her cup down. And all Eddie did was stare at her for a while, unsure how to proceed. Until he just started what happened after his breakdown.

*Yesterday*

After coming back home I saw Ana frantically pacing around the house. Hearing the door open she swirled around and saw me, eyes red from sadness? Rage? I don't even know.

'Eddie?' She asks me as she slowly approaches. At first, my first reaction was to reach out and hug her, but after hearing everything I didn't. I just felt numb from all the information that I just had to digest.

She was about to reach out until she didn't. I guess it was obvious from my face that I knew. Was it because I decided to look open to my emotions that time that she saw I was hurting? Was it because of my sunken eyes she saw that I just came back from crying? Was it because of the grains of sand still on my pants that made her stop? Either all of that or none at all, she took a step back and looked at me. On her face was the same thing that I was feeling. Uncertainty.

'You know… Don't you?' She then proceeds to ask but it was more of a statement than a question. 'Eddie let me explain. Plea-'

'I don't want to hear anything from you. After everything's all said and done, you lied to me.' At that time even I did not know where the hostility from my voice came from.

Was it because of my temperament against liars? Was it because she lied to me about what happened that night? Or was it because she laid ruin upon one of my friends? Can I even call Buck a friend after everything I have done? After what Ana had done?

'Eddie…' Ana pleads once more, eyes forming tears, and voice breaking. But Eddie knows this was all for show.

'Leave. This. House.' Eddie states with a coldness that made him shiver.

'B-but all my stuff is in here! I can't just go, what about Christopher?'

'Don't you dare bring MY child into this! You already dragged Buck down, I won't let you even ten feet from MY Chris. Get what you need, for now, find a motel, stay there for as long as I fucking care, and get your stuff when you're settled in. Preferably a country away from me.' Eddie spits out mercilessly. If everything were to just go his way once, he wished that Ana would just giddy-up and leave. But she's a pretty insistent woman.

'Eddie please no. Please give me a chance! You have no idea how it feels like to be wanted, loved, and treated well without the fear of being beaten up! You made me feel safe and warm, and like a woman for the first time- You have no idea how relieved I was when you said you loved me too that I...'

'You know what? I actually know that feeling. The sensation of wanting to love and be loved without the fear of being persecuted just by being who you are? The craving for someone else's touch and body just to keep you warm and safe? Yeah, I've been there. Fuck, I'm still there! And you? Were not the one whom I craved touch nor laughter from. You're not the one whom I seek their time and attention for. It was never, ever you.'

'But… Eddie…'

'The one who I crave those things from? Probably hates me because of you! They probably also are going through shit because of US! So before making some bullshit reason get out. Before I won't be able to punch you out of my house.' And with that Ana goes pale. She clearly didn't expect any of that, especially him hurting her. He didn't want to obviously, but he needed to bluff his way out before he did something he will regret later on.

She stands up sobbing, gathering a few items before standing outside the door frame looking back at an unmoving Eddie. His gaze was stony and distant. And at that moment he didn't know how long it took before he heard the door close. He relinquished his facade and felt his legs buckle before him.

"And she just left after that." Eddie says finishing his retelling. They were on the road going to the station because Hen still had a shift. After all, she and Chim were covering for Buck and Eddie.

"What are you going to do now?" Hen asks looking out the window.

"That's why I asked if you could meet me today. Because I don't know jack shit on what I should do. It's probably too late to go up to Buck and just say sorry huh?" Eddie says defeatedly as he turns right on the bend.

"Probably." Hen says. 'Duh, it is.' Eddie thinks to himself.

"But knowing Buck? He'll still listen to what you have to say. Just… Don't expect anything after explaining. If he asks you to leave. Leave. Let him be for a while and just, wait it out I guess?"

"Really? That's it?" Eddie says rather disappointed.

"Well, yeah. I mean I'm not the one who possibly destroyed a relationship with both their partner and best friend, am I?" Hen says but immediately apologizes.

"No, you're right. I should just explain my side huh?"

"Hmmm, that might be a problem also."

"Yeaahhh..."

"Did you listen to his side?"

"No. But you already exposed to me what really happened that night so I've got the full details."

"Sure, but I think it's better if you hear it from his point of view first. Then put yours in if. If he asks." Hen says and looks at Eddie, "You know what? Real talk, you've been the guy with a plan. Under stress you were cool because you knew what you were doing, you had something to follow. And seeing you now, you're the complete opposite." Hen adds and Eddie gives her a sideways glance through the mirror, raising his eyebrow and Hen does the same.

"What? You calling me to ask for something to do is a sign of that." And she had a point, to which Eddie silently acknowledges.

He got what she was saying. He just had to face it head-on, without a plan, which was something that he didn't like to do. For Eddie, he should always have a plan, because without one there are unpredictable variables. And when there are unpredictable variables, there's a chance that everything might go to hell in an instant. But the situation he's in is probably already messed up.

After dropping Hen off at the station he stops there for a while contemplating how he should go for this. He could just go to his apartment and talk to him there. But… But fuck it. It was either that or chicken out.

'But I don't know if he's even there or not.' Eddie thinks then remembers something. He quickly searches his glovebox and sees it there.

A pair of keys. One to his house. And another one for Buck's apartment. The question is should he use it or just wait?

Buck POV

After a heavy discussion with Maddie, he was successfully able to escape their home before Lockdown Maddie came along.

He was thankful that he had a caring sister, but she should take care of herself first for this once.

Upon walking out of the building he noticed it was past five in the afternoon already meaning it's about to get dark. He goes to a local restaurant and orders take out before waiting for another uber ride to come.

He got messages from Hen, Taylor, and Bobby. The majority of those messages were asking how he was doing and when he was going back to work. He replies to them one by one while he waits for his driver to come.

'Yow, how are you?'

Taylor 11:26 AM

Taylor. Damn, another person he should be grateful for. When Buck had heard of the news story yesterday, he thought that she had ratted him out. But it seems like that wasn't the case. Because after her greeting, she sent a very long message explaining what happened on her end.

'So basically you kept my name from the public? Do you know how many people had asked me earlier if I knew who it was?'

Seen 1:41 PM

'Look, I'm not asking for anything in return for what I did. I'm glad that it went that way instead. And you know me. I'm not a fan of having friends indebted to me. People, yes. Friends? No.'

Taylor 1:43 PM

At that, he smiled earlier. Maddie casted him a glance but he couldn't care less.

When he arrived at his apartment complex, he saw something familiar in the parking lot. A truck that oddly seems like Eddie's. Then again, there were a lot of people who owned a black pickup. So he ignores it despite having an uncanny feeling.

Stepping out of the elevator, his heart skipped a beat.

Outside his door to his apartment was Eddie, leaning back on the wall, and at the loud ding of the elevator, Eddie looked towards his way. Buck, not knowing what to do, panicked for a bit. He thought about going back down but where? Screw it, his apartment was just there!

Slowly walking to his door he tries to avoid eye contact with Eddie and when he was in front of his door, Eddie didn't say anything. He just stood there looking at Buck while Buck tried to open his door.

Keys in hand he placed it in but didn't turn the knob. Was Eddie just going to stand there? Hell, what was he even doing here?! Should he ask? Why should he! Well. Crap.

"What are you doing here?" Buck whispers out and he could see Eddie flinch a bit.

"I came here to talk… If that's okay with you that is." Eddie shyly says before looking down and scratching the nape of his neck.

'Talk about what? How he just sent him a text the other day stating how he didn't want to even talk to him?'

"I want to say sorry." Eddie says and Buck just stares at him.

'Should I listen to him? What would he say sorry for?' Buck thinks to himself.

"I know that this might not change anything between us. But can you hear me out?"

Whilst confused and unresponsive, Buck turns the knob and unlocks his door swinging it open. He steps in but doesn't close it immediately on Eddie's face. A few silent moments passed before Eddie got the message. He could come in. Just this once, Buck decides to hear him out even if Eddie didn't have the courtesy to do the same to him back then.