Together
Chapter 12
Mike hadn't taken into consideration how exhausting his last month of Academy or his first few months of Field Training would be, but he had finally accomplished something more than being a dock worker. He was a police officer. Of course; Christine, Grandma Hannah and Kathleen were the only members of his family that showed up for his graduation, but at least he had them. Juggling his schedule and Christine's and trying for a baby was also harder than Mike imagined and they were both getting discouraged. Four months after Mike graduated and almost six months after they decided to start trying, Christine laid down next to him, wiping tears away.
"I guess you're not pregnant?" Mike asked her gently.
"No. I don't know what I'm doing wrong." Christine answered.
"Maybe its not you. Maybe its me." Mike suggested and Christine groaned.
"My mom…my aunts…my cousins all say its something with me. I just thought it would be easier." Christine admitted.
"Maybe we need to go see a doctor?" Mike suggested.
"I already spoke to my doctor. She said we are young, and its not uncommon to struggle a bit. Said there is nothing wrong with me and probably not you either, but its like there is a block." Christine said.
"So, we need to be patient and keep trying." Mike remarked as he kissed Christine's forehead.
"Yeah, I guess. Look, I'm tired and kind of crampy. Can I just go to sleep?" Christine asked.
"Of course." Mike said. Instead of saying anything else; he pulled her onto his chest; knowing she'd fall asleep sooner.
The next night, as Mike did his foot patrol with the sergeant who was training him, he remembered the man saying he had five children and his wife was pregnant with their sixth. He liked Sergeant Hicks, and trusted him immensely but it seemed weird to ask. After they checked the fifth business, making sure it was secure; Sergeant Hicks spoke up.
"So, you will find in time; a cop with something on his mind will be distracted and potentially get himself or his partner killed, so what gives?" Sergeant Hicks asked.
"Just some stuff going on at home." Mike answered.
"Let's take our lunch." Sergeant Hicks said as he radioed in that they were at lunch and their location. Christine's crisp voice came over the radio and Mike smiled in response. "You light up when answers us on the radio." Sergeant Hicks remarked as they walked into a small diner that was open twenty-four hours a day.
"Isn't that normal?" Mike asked.
"So, its not marriage problems." Sergeant Hicks said.
"NO." Mike answered emphatically after the waitress took their orders.
"Well, you both are working. Albeit, not great jobs; but I suspect money isn't too much of a hardship. And you don't have kids so that isn't an issue. I realize you both came from tricky family situations, so maybe that's it." Sergeant Hicks commented.
"It's the kid thing. We've been trying for months and she's still not pregnant." Mike admitted quietly.
"I suspect I don't need to give you a birds and bees speech. Maybe you are both overthinking it?" Sergeant Hicks suggested.
"You have five kids…almost six. How…" Mike started and Sergeant Hicks raised his hand.
"Getting a bit personal there. Knowing…your family…and how you've talked, you met your wife a week before the wedding, correct? It was kind of an arranged marriage?" Sergeant Hicks asked.
"Yes, and I realize that's old-fashioned." Mike said.
"It's the late nineties…as in the 1990s, not 1890s so yes. I also assume you didn't love her, and she didn't love you. I remember Jimmy O'Hare talking about how his niece was going to go to convent, but then she got married. We all figured that she was pregnant but then it occurred to me that you were both forced into it somehow." Sergeant Hicks said.
"Its not didn't. Its still don't." Mike said. Sergeant Hicks immediately understood what was said.
"Really? You sure about that? As I said; you light up when she answers us. Look, I don't have to tell you; it doesn't take love to make a baby, but in your case; it might help a lot. Maybe that is what is tripping you up. My wife isn't Catholic, but she is very religious, and she tells me every time she tells me she is pregnant that God is blessing us with another baby. After six pregnancies and two miscarriages; I sometimes wish He would bless us a little less, but I don't think He would if we didn't love one another so much. Maybe you need to hit the pause button and just fall in love with your wife properly." Sergeant Hicks suggested.
"So, its not that we live in a studio apartment?" Mike asked.
"No. Carolyn and I lived in her mom's basement when we had a two-year-old and one on the way. Sometimes babies come when we aren't quite ready." Sergeant Hicks said as their food arrived.
"She thinks it her fault." Mike remarked.
"It's a human reaction. So; I heard something about your family's housekeeper…more so her daughter. Her name was Alice, right?" Sergeant Hicks asked.
"That was the housekeeper. Her daughter's name is Fiona. What'd you hear?" Mike asked.
"Mike; Fiona killed herself. A buddy of mine gave the death notification to Alice. She had to head down to Florida immediately, because Fiona had a little girl. Had to get her out of foster care." Sergeant Hicks said.
"Do you know how old?" Mike asked weakly.
"I think less than a year, but I'm not sure. I guess Fiona…overdosed and laid. Had it not been for the neighbor calling because of the baby crying; it would have been longer, but she was there for at least twelve to sixteen hours." Sergeant Hicks answered. Mike immediately began doing the math. He had slept with Fiona less than a month before he and Christine had been married and they had been married for eighteen months. It worked. "What's wrong?" Sergeant Hicks asked and Mike took a deep breath.
"Before I knew that Christine and I were going to be married; I was involved with Fiona. She was in love, but it was just…sex for me. I knew she was being sent away before our wedding; I just never imagined…" Mike said.
"There's a chance that baby is yours?" Sergeant Hicks asked.
"Yes." Mike answered a little sheepishly.
"Alright; son. You need to tell your wife. Be honest. And you need to talk to the grandmother. Without you being on the birth certificate and the mother being dead, you have very few rights, but if you want anything to do with your daughter; you need to make nice with Grandma. She's likely to be angry with you since I'm sure…your relationship contributed to Fiona's death, but you have a few hoops to jump through…mostly; you need to just be honest with Christine. This will be hard for her." Sergeant Hicks said.
"What a mess." Mike remarked.
"Its one of your making. You probably didn't know it at the time. For you it was fun. Is there anyone in the family besides your wife that could help?" Sergeant Hicks asked.
"My grandmother and maybe my sister." Mike answered.
"I suggest you get in touch as soon as your shift ends and talk to your wife. I will make sure you are off tonight so you can concentrate on your family situation. Is there any chance this little one isn't yours?" Sergeant Hicks asked.
"No. Fiona was…a virgin and she was in love with me. She imagined a life together." Mike said.
"And I am sure that is why she was sent away. Seeing you married to another woman would have been painful, and since Alice still works for your family; she would have undoubtably heard about you and Christine having a seemingly happy marriage; even maybe trying for a baby of your own." Sergeant Hicks answered.
"Alice and my grandmother practically raised me. I need to reach out to her." Mike said.
"After you've spoken with your wife and talked to your grandmother. I would leave your sister out of it, because I am sure she doesn't have the maturity to handle a sensitive situation. Is your grandmother and Alice close?" Sergeant Hicks asked.
"Yes. Very much so. Why wouldn't have Grammy said anything about a baby?" Mike asked.
"Maybe she didn't know or maybe she was trying to protect you. That doesn't matter. What does matter is your reaction to this and how you handle it with Christine, that baby and Alice." Sergeant Hicks said before finishing his coffee, paying their bill and guiding Mike out of the diner so that Mike would wrap his head around all the many things he had to do.