Shadows of the Past
Chapter 20
The next day; Mike and Paul went into town and got supplies to fix the playhouse and do some porch repairs. Due to his injuries, Mike was a bit limited, and Paul was too old, but it showed an inclination to stay; which helped the older girls. He was encouraging both girls to sign up for college classes. With Hannah, he was getting traction but Katie was adamantly against it. Late that night, when Christine got home from work and was taking her shoes off her swollen feet, Mike sat a sandwich down in front of her.
"Mom made it before she went to bed. The littles settled well too, by the way." Mike told her as he sat down across from her.
"Yeah, she always makes me a sandwich for after work." Christine said.
"So, what's with the shoes? Your feet hurt?" Mike asked.
"My boss insists on those heels and yes, my feet hurt." Christine answered.
"You hate that job." Mike remarked.
"I do but I need the money. Just one of those things." Christine said before taking a bite of her sandwich.
"Speaking of; I pretty well have Hannah convinced to go to college. Online courses, but Katie is completely against it; even when I told her I'd pay. I was hoping you'd have some insight on why she is so adamant about not going?" Mike asked.
"Mmm. Several reasons. Going is part of it. She doesn't want to leave here. She loves it here. She also never found anything that interested her as much as farming. And she may not want you to feel obligated to her because of that last argument." Christine answered.
"I don't understand." Mike said.
"She has always felt a lot of guilt. She felt its why you left and stayed gone. Now; she has the added guilt of Maddie and Matthew dying." Christine said.
"I…still don't understand." Mike told her.
"She thinks had it not been for that argument; you wouldn't have left, stayed gone, or lost Maddie and Matthew." Christine clarified.
"None of that is her fault." Mike said.
"I know that and I'm glad you know that, but Katie isn't so easily convinced. Katie loves this farm and family intensely and I should suggest you tread carefully. If you aren't careful you will communicate that you don't appreciate all she sacrificed and that you think it's not worthwhile. That would cause serious damage to any prospects of a relationship." Christine warned.
"It feels like a minefield." Mike remarked.
"It is. Mike; she got her GED at seventeen, but she never went back to school after seventh grade. No prom. No high school graduation. That isn't on you, but you weren't here to support her. If she doesn't want to go to college, its not the end of the world. Her happiness is more important to me. Should be to you too. I get that you can't do much right now; but once you can, help her out around here. You'll see how much she loves it." Christine said.
"She wanted to be a nurse." Mike commented.
"Pre-pandemic. Before a famine. Now she just wants to take over this farm someday. No, it isn't what we wanted for her, but its not the worse thing in the world. She is a good daughter, sister and granddaughter. Could we ask for anything more?" Christine asked.
"I suppose not." Mike admitted.
"Mike; what you're doing is showing love. You want her to have something good. You are being a good dad." Christine commented.
"Hmm." Mike said.
"You are. You are doing good with all of them. Just be patient with yourself." Christine said with a smile.
"I feel like a total failure." Mike said.
"And you might for a while, but stay put and it'll get better." Christine told him.
"I hope." Mike said quietly. She took a chance and reached over to squeeze his good hand and thankfully, he didn't pull away.