"Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity of forgo."
- Ambrose Bierce
"And thus, how I think, these whispers are." The Wanderer stated as she finished writing her journal, before putting it back in her bag. Looking around her as the whispers passed through her nonchalantly, flicking some of it as her pass time. "Huh, look at this." She spoke to herself, as she saw the butterfly glow. "Time to visit."
…
…
…
Is that… muttering..?
The Wanderer paused for a moment before silently getting closer to the apparently muttering librarian.
"That Façade... is getting full of themselves."
"Who is getting full of themselves?"
"Oh? When did you wander in? I didn't see you." Es asked, seeming to be snapped out from her trance.
At this, the Wanderer cheekily smiled, "I told you: I can get so quiet that you don't know I am here."
"That does support your point. And also, I'm sure you must have run into them on the way."
Them? Does she mean- "Ego Rex?"
"The self-proclaimed monarch. The Façade. The wretch." She paused before the Wanderer noticed the air getting cold, "That Façade... lives to plague me. "Fall not to impulse! Conform to the standard!" Over, and over, and over they whisper at me!"
So… Rex is plaguing Es? Because she is impulsive? Where on any side Es is impulsive?
"What need is there for social structure here?"
I actually want to know that.
"Hmm... What's your take on it?" Es said, eyeing the Wanderer.
"Eh? W-Why are you asking me?" She asked back, surprised by the sudden question.
"I want to know your opinion, Wanderer."
"Well… Mmm… I think… It depends on the time and place." She replied while raising her eyebrow, "I mean, there's a moment where you should follow rules so you can help others, while other times it's better to be violent so people acknowledge the seriousness of it."
"Hmph. Such an ambiguous answer... but it beats that Façade's, any day."
"Thank you?"
"You see, that Façade is my adversary."
"Oh? How so?"
"They would control me, like a judge and jury." Es began slightly scowling.
Control you?
"Listen... You hear it, don't you? Their voice!" She suddenly spoke as she looked around, "Damn you. Hush! You damnable Façade! I...! I'm not mistaken! I'm not a failure!"
Oookkkaaayyyy… Should I move out for this moment..?
"I-I...! Forgive me. I can't focus on a conversation right now. If you don't mind... Come back again later?"
"I… can see that." She internally cringed at her words.
"I'll see you when you have more EGO saved up."
"I'll do that. So, uh, see ya." The Wanderer said and left the room.
Back at the hall…
"I… actually have enough…" The Wanderer murmured, sighing, slumping against the blackened hall. I can see what Rex is trying to say to her...
"Maybe I should give her time…"
Humming to some tone, the Wanderer sits and pokes any whispers that get close to her.
…
…
...
"Books are to me what breath is to others." The now calmed girl said.
"Isn't that stretching far?" Asked the Wanderer to the girl.
"I cannot stay myself without books to read. For the sake of my sanity..."
"Oh. Sorry."
"Don't worry, I immerse myself in the worlds I find within. Even now, as I stand here, conversing with you..." She spoked, her eyes seemingly flicking, as if something wanted to emerge, "I am fighting down my very impulses… To put my hands around your throat; to..."
Sorry, what!?
"A-hem… May I ask you something?" She cock her head to the side, and ask her question, " Should I restrain my impulses? Tell me."
Yup, I can see it now. For being so lonely… This is a girl after all. "Get a hold of yourself." Please. "You… You don't want to know the consequences of that." Even though I think you already know that.
"Get a hold of myself? Is that even possible?"
"Of course! If you work on it then you'll be able to do it!" She answered, smiling genuinely at her.
"I'm... fine, now. They were just so loud. I... got confused."
"You mean the voices that say those things?" The Wanderer asked, eyes softening.
"Yes. Speaking to you seems to have calmed me." The girl said, back to her usual deadpanned face. "I'm well, I am. For now, I'm still all right. I know how to tame my impulses, you see."
"Really?"
"Yes. I'm fairly certain I won't do anything… Like wring your sweet neck. Yes. Trust me."
Well, congratulations Es! That one bit is not helping at all! Not helping! She internally panicked while smiling at the girl.
"So come back soon... when you have more EGO." Es concluded, reading back to her book.
I wonder… The Wanderer thought this might straight up make her officially creepy, but she wanted to know.
Staring at the girl, she slowly comes closer to her, the only thing separating them is the counter. Leaning to the counter, she did something that might be considered crazy.
… Poke…
No reaction.
Poke…
Nothing.
Poke.
None.
… … … … … The Wanderer stared at the librarian before suddenly poking her faster.
"Are you done?"
"Ahh! She's alive! I mean-!" Coughing and blushing hard, she composed herself before replying, "Y-yeah… I am. S-sorry for my behavior."
"Uh-huh." The girl stated as she continually reads her book.
"... P-please, speak something."
"... Sigh. Alright." She briefly stopped, looking at the Wanderer, "I'm fine now. But please, do restrained that… childish behavior."
"I'll try…" But her face suddenly grinned, "But I can't promise I can't stop that."
"Why do I even try?" Sighing, she returned to reading her book. "Now go, shoo."
"Ok! See you soon, deadpanned girl!" She quickly exits the room.
But before she is able to completely close the door, she can faintly hear a voice that is too gibberish to understand. But she did pick up something along the lines of, "Why you!"
Chuckling, the Wanderer spoke, "Yeah, you're still considered a child after all too."