Pssstttt... Here...
Every choice comes. with a consequence. Once you make a choice, you must accept responsibility. You cannot escape the consequences of your choices, whether you like them or not.
- Roy T. Bennett
"I have a confession to make."
"Sorry, I don't want to be in a relationship yet."
"That's not what I mean!"
The Wanderer laughs as she abandons what she's been doing a moment ago. It's been 3 days since she met Es, and she always makes sure to visit her on that day she promised, even though Es won't talk much to her. She makes sure that when she comes back, she brings supplies that will help her easily to come in or out of place. She added a replaceable fuel for the torches on the place where her rope is, making sure to mark in some miles, to know where the door is.
It's a good thing there's a close city from here.
"Relax, Es! I'm just pulling your leg!" The cackling Wanderer said.
The ever stoic girl clearly is upset, maybe not through her face, but you can see it in her eyes. The things she picked up noticing at the girl with just the span of little days.
She's actually glad that the girl began to get warm with her.
The Wanderer stops laughing and sheepishly smiles at her. "Come on Es, you really need to loosen up a little."
The girl mumbles, but the Wanderer is able to hear the words, "-enjoy these talks we have."
"Pardon?"
The girl eyed the companion she had, "Even though you are annoying, I enjoyed our talks… I've been alone here for such a long time." She averts her eyes, "Such a long… long…"
"At first, it was just a way to kill time. I wanted to learn more about another person; the first I've ever met. But now… It's like a reprieve for me." At this, the Wanderer frowns.
"Why would you think like that? It doesn't seem that way to me." The Wanderer spoke.
"It doesn't seem that way? Really?"
"I mean, you don't look like it."
"I'm just not very expressive."
"Huh… Point taken." The woman replied giggling to herself, even the girl in front of her is staring at her like daggers.
Ignoring the comment, Es began, "Now, it's been a while after we take one of your tests. So I'm going to ask you 12 questions. Don't think too hard. Answer quickly and honestly."
"Sure. Ask away."
And same as before, the Wanderer answered all the questions the girl asked. But at the same time, the Wanderer thought of the difference as the time passed, the girl in front of her still stiff around her, but she could see some form of… relaxation. Which she finds happy about it.
One of the questions that stuck to the Wanderer the most, is the question, "Would you say you're a dreamer?"
"I am, I really think so."
"And that concludes our test." Es said, writing something on the paper. "But you sound convinced at that part huh?"
"Uh-hm." The Wanderer said, as she paid the attention back to her own paper. Scribbling here and there before, raising it up to her view, and satisfied her.
"It seems your ideal is being artistic." Es said, raising her eyebrow then stared at the Wanderer.
"What?"
"For you, thinking and feeling at any given moment is more important to you than anything else. You may tend to see the person you were just a few moments ago as a complete stranger."
"Do you think I do act like that?" The Wanderer asked.
Her reply was a raised hand motioning her to finish, "If so, that proves just how strong an emphasis you place on the present. However... to anyone else, you're just the same old you."
The last bit makes the Wanderer somewhat glum.
"Quite the revelation, hm?"
"Uh huh." The clear contrast of the moment Wanderer spoked to the librarian.
"That should explain a bit of what goes on in your head. It might sound somewhat strange to say, but… Understanding one's own heart is not such an easy thing to do."
"... *Sigh* I know. It's hard to even understand one's words after all. Even the simplest word became complicated in another view." Sighing, the Wanderer eyed the girl while gently smiling. "That's the reason why we're here, doing this right?"
"Yes. The same goes for me, of course. I don't know myself, at all. In fact, I probably know even less than you do about... About my…"
"Your… condition here?" The Wanderer offered, conflict surfacing in her brain.
"Yes. Well. Gather more EGO, okay?"
But now, I think I had enough EGO.
3 days is enough after all to understand the surroundings and how this world works. And to the Wanderer's understanding, EGO here, is something related to mind. And if she remembers correctly, ego is all about oneself, balance between wants and needs if she remembers it right. Perfect fit for finding one's self.
And she can't help but remember what Rex said in that 3 days ago.
Three days ago...
"Welcome back my child."
"Hello to you too, Ego Rex." The Wanderer replied formally.
"I'm glad you're back. Much glad with your answers."
"Wait, you listened to us yesterday?" Isn't that like, invasion of privacy?
"Yes. I have ears around. And you answer correctly. You choose the right path." Ego Rex spoke with a trace of pride.
When does a personality test need the right answer? The Wanderer silently asked herself.
"You cherish conformity and live the right way."
"I'm sorry to interrupt you, Rex." She began, and doesn't like where this structure is going, "But I think frankly speaking, there's no guide to how one lives their life."
"Ah. And that's one more thing I am afraid of. My child, do not be swayed by the muttering of Es."
"And what's that implying Rex?" She tries her best to control her temper. Clear sign of her voice rising in a moment. "My words are mine only, there's no Es that muttered through my ears."
"But she is influencing you. Es doesn't understand what she muttered. Walk out unnervingly. You must not stray."
"Rex. Understand too. It's hard to trust you more than Es for someone I talked to a little of time."
"Trust, is such a strong, yet at the same time, venomous word. It is something that can only be proven by the end, my lost child. Until then, never forget:"Choose base on logic. Choose base on logic."
After that, it just doesn't feel right for the Wanderer to read in the hall. The knowledge of knowing Rex is just literally in the corner makes her feel creeped out even more.
So, when the door glows and is available to the Wanderer, she just swiftly turns the knob and gets inside. And after that, she just wants to stay there for a while. In fact she's been there all the time, sleeping on the couch or her trusty old mat with the girl's permission.
"Wanderer."
Said woman snapped back to the present.
"Huh? Eh heh, sorry. I spaced out there huh?"
"If you're done daydreaming, you can go to the record room. That's the place more appropriate for you to daydream." Es said, with a hint of sassiness.
"Alright, alright miss "I'm-in-charge", I'll get going." The Wanderer said, dramatically bows to Es, "See you soon. *wink*"
Later at the Record Room, the Wanderer was reading her book when she noticed a little something.
"Wait, where's the paper?" She said to herself flipping through the book.