Obligatory spoiler warning for Geo archon's identity. But... c'mon. You already know who he is.

Rex Lapis believes this….. agreement will be the end of him. It's not a contract, because Guizhong made sure to stipulate in no unclear terms that she hated being bound by the laws and unspoken agreements that contacts held, the social niceties that had to be done, and the pomp and ridiculousness of it all.

Rex Lapis tries very hard not to be insulted, and barely succeeds.

So they settle on an agreement instead.

Either way, it doesn't change the fact it's more likely to kill him quicker (and more painfully) than this damned war will. Who knew you could slay someone with boredom?

"-take over the supply lines for Fei which leaves Mao's domain tomorrow at noon. This will be the third time this month, which will clearly foster hostile relations between the two. Now Fei should realize by now that someone is sabotaging her, and with her brashness, it's clear she'll track down the source herself. I've left enough breadcrumbs from her to follow, and when she arrives at the fake base I asked you to set up between the valleys, we'll be ready to-"

Oh no, thinks Rex, as Guizhong's word vomit goes through one ear and passes out through the other without so much as hitting his brain. He's regretting this. Again.

But he doesn't leave.

For some strange reason, he can't stop thinking about her. He is unable to stop himself from coming back. He knows he should not be relying on this goddess. This goddess, who uses her inventions and trickery to slay others. But instead of being a problem, he finds that he does not mind. It is… intriguing, to say the least. She is weak and gentle natured. For someone who despises war, she is well-versed in it. And her strangest habit?

She is sympathizes with mortals.

Even with their limited lifespans, she cares to them, watching them scurrying in the dirt like the bugs that they were. After all, what was a mortal to a god? How could they possibly comprehend anything about them? What could bridge the difference between their very being? Their power? Their life span? Their goals?

But even with all these flaws, it matter little. He still does not take leave. He tolerates her, which is more than anyone else can say. He begrudgingly respects her, understanding that her strengths lay not in combat, but in tactics. For now, he will amuse himself with this charade of schemes that admittedly, has shown results.

But this is temporary.

If she were to ever be a burden, he will finish the job.

Instead, whenever boredom starts to rear its head, he thinks back to the first time they first met.

-0-

The first time he makes contact with Guizhong is through the business end of a arrow. But not a normal arrow, no. Those are easy enough to deflect. Instead, it's an arrow that's made of light, an arrow that travels faster than he could possibly react to; an arrow the size of one of his pillars that had been fired from a distance farther than he could have seen, with more force than he thought humanly (godly) possible. It's a massive arrow made of light and elemental energy, and when that finally registers in his brain, the arrow pierces through his shoulder blades and pins him to the nearest mountain.

It takes him the better part of a day to dig himself out the rubble.

-0-

'Second contact should be more favorable,' Rex thinks, as he pulls himself free from the debris. After all, after the initial shock, such an attack wouldn't be able to surprise him anymore. Impressive force, yes, but one wouldn't be able to fire such a weapon in rapid succession. Dodge the first blow, and he'll be able to counterattack. He'll let them have the upper hand, which makes it all the easier to break it.

Then again, one might call it foolish to go fight an enemy they had just lost to, but Rex Lapis cares naught for paltry things, one such being common sense. This is a battle he will have. A god with enough strength to fire that much elemental energy at once? Clearly, this was a warrior of peerless might. Even if their specialty was long ranged combat, their strength and mastery over the elements would aid them greatly in any type of battle.

He feels his blood start to race. How long has it been? To have a worthy opponent?

His journey takes minutes, his leaps shaking the ground as he travels miles in mere moments. Scenery flies past him, and he grips his spear in anticipation. When he find himself at the entrance of a large village, instead of an army, he is met with…. mortals.

Not a single god in sight.

Rex feels robbed of a battle, until he spots a large stone temple in the distance.

He scoffs. Oh. This was one of those gods, wasn't it? So unsure of themselves that they required the acknowledgement of lesser beings to function. Granted power they didn't deserve, to wallow in their own self-assurance that they were better than the lowest echelons of life.

But Rex Lapis is not here to talk about the principles of life. He is here to fight.

When he enters the temple, he is greeted by more mortals. They walk about in simple work clothes instead of the religious wear he is accustomed to seeing, and curiously enough, they don't seem to be attendants for the god. They come in droves, leave offerings of flowers at a simple table, then turn to leave.

As he approaches, the mortals scamper away, leaving him alone in the temple. Striding to the offering table, he picks up and inspects the flowers. It's an ordinary glaze lily.

No prayers? No wine? No feasts nor banquets?

What a strange god to demand such simple things.

But such offerings are meaningless before him.

He crushes the flower underfoot as he makes his way further into the temple. Stepping into another room, sunlight pours into a large stadium from above, as the walls are filled with drawings of complex machineries that Lapis cannot make sense of. The room is filled with springs and cogs of different sizes, a half-finished collection of machines that he has no interest in, and houses an alchemy table tucked away in the corner.

Ah, there they were.

Behind what seemed to be some mixture of an archaic trebuchet and oversized crossbow, a goddess is screwing in a bolt with a wrench half the size of her. Happily humming a tune, she doesn't notice his entrance, too engrossed in her work. She has her auburn hair in a ponytail behind her, wearing a dress of azure blue with billowing sleeves that flutter behind her. Laying on the ground are an assortment of tools of varying sizes that portrays her lack of decorum.

Finally.

Rex lunges forward, brown light coursing alongside him as his weapon was brought to bear. A simple prod to test the strength of the god before him.

The god notices his presence at the last moment, and her eyes widen when she raises the wrench to deflect the hit.

KRCK!

The wrench shatters in her hand, and the god is sent flying back.

This is… unexpected. To see this god heave after parrying such a paltry blow? Rex Lapis is disappointed, until he realizes that this god was likely the servant for the real warrior god. Ah. That explains why there were no mortal servants.

He waits for the god to get back up on her feet.

"Bring me to your leader."

"What?" The goddess, still panting from the parry, tilts her head to stare inquisitively at him.

Hmph. Such impertinence. But he cannot slay her just yet; he needs to have battle with her master.

"Clearly, you must be a lesser god, working for the creator of this fine weapon. Make haste to bring this message to them. 'Rex Lapis is here. Do not dally, for this battle shall commence-'

The god interrupts him as she flushes with anger. "Excuse me?"

Res Lapis blinks. The words don't seem to register in his head. "What?"

She twitches. Violently. "You come into my house, disturb me, and have the audacity to give me orders?! Not sure if you haven't noticed yet, blockhead, but I'm the bloody creator!"

Lapis blinks. Again. "I don't believe you."

"The hell you don't!"

He raises an unimpressed eyebrow. "How can a pathetic god such as yourself operate or even conceive such of such weaponry? Clearly, the strength required to even activate this machine outmatches your capabilities, say nothing of the craftsmanship of this would take a mind much more masterful than yourself to build- "

"-what do you mean by that?!"

Lapis is taken aback. No god has ever spoken to him that way. He wipes the surprised expression off his face, and glares at her.

"Enough games. Bring me to your warrior god. Bring them their weapon. I wish to slay them in their prime."

The god flushes with anger, and stomps away, muttering obscenities under her breath. Finally, this farce was over. She would lead him to her master. Rex follows her at a leisurely pace. If she tried to run, he would easily outpace her.

But no.

Instead of leading him to a throne room, (and it's a throne room, such gods always had a throne room), he is led outside, to a wall covered by a curtain. The god pulls the curtain behind her to reveal- oh dear.

Second contact wouldn't be a problem. But if second contact was also followed by the third, fourth, sixth, eighth, and thirty sixth point of contact; of which they all stack upon each other, rows of artillery staring off into the distance…

The goddess snaps her fingers, and the weapons all snap to face him.

It's not a wheeze, but the noise that Rex Lapis lets out his mouth comes very close.

This may have been more than what he could handle.

The goddess grins impishly, yanking a rope bound to the machines.

"FIRE!"

And all Lapis knew was light.

That time, it took Zhongli a month to dig himself out of the mountain. From that day on, he made sure not to piss Guizhong off.

Also not pictured - Guizhong losing her hearing for several days after firing 50 guns 1 cm away from her.

Part 1 of 3