Blaine: H-h-hello?
Mercedes: Hello, can I speak to Blaine?
Blaine: Blaine here. How are you, Mercedes? Anything serious?
(Blaine feels Mercedes' voice not so cheerful like their first meet)
Mercedes: Blaine, could you please come to Kurt's home? I'll send his address
Blaine(He is confused): I know his address ,Mercedes, What's the matter?
Mercedes: I'll tell ya,Blaine. Just come please.
Blaine: Ya, Ok.
Blaine cuts the call and raises up from the bench. He walks fast trying to remember the route to Kurt's home. He realizes the change that happened to himself- He couldn't stand Kurt being in a trouble, even he's just a friend from the park.
He drives hastily, trying to identify the path he took Blaine to his home. Reaching Kurt's home, he steps out after confirming it is the same house. He rings the door bell and he is gently greeted by Mercedes. The house seems to have usual silence, yet unusual. The house doesn't seem to have the usual joyous bound spell. Blaine feels like his own house.
Mercedes makes Blaine to sit on the couch,getting ready to answer Blaine's question. Blaine sits there confused as to why did she call him so urgent.
Blaine: So, what happened?(Blaine asks silently, with concern)
Mercedes: Blaine, uh.. do you know about...uh ..Carson?
Blaine : Carson? as in Kurt's twin? yeah,sorta.
Mercedes: uh..C-carson had died ,Blaine.( Blaine had to take a double take).
Yeah, We found out 2 days back. It was on news. Kurt's been miserable since the sectionals, Blaine. He's been crying for 3 continuous days . He fainted hearing the news. He hasn't gotten out of his room. I couldn't see him like that. The last time he talked was yesterday morning, about his memories with Carson. I don't know what to do,Blaine.
Blaine couldn't believe the news. He's not watched news on his phone for 2 days . Blaine holds Mercedes' hands in concern and assures to try his luck with Kurt. He climbs upstairs to kurt's rooms. He opens the door to reveal Carole , Finn, Rachel and the miserable Kurt- So miserable, that his face is paler than his pale skin, lying on his bed like a life -less body with an album on his lap, not speaking a word. Carole,Finn and Rachel gets up greeting Blaine with a nod and their sad smiles. They walk out,leaving Blaine and Kurt alone.
Blaine doesn't open his mouth. Kurt notices Blaine, a tiny little smile on his face after 3 days. Blaine just sits there, on a chair ,far beside the bed. Blaine can't take his eyes away from Kurt- he looks so pathetic, his hair messed up, in his Pajamas, with an album on his lap. It seems like a memory album.
The room reminded silent for an hour . Blaine was scrolling his phone, searching for the news, to find out about Carson's death and he got it. Blaine couldn't speak anything. He is out of words.He hasn't met Carson, nope. But,Blaine knows the value of a brother. The way Kurt talked about his brother, the phone calls made Blaine have a very good impression on Carson and a brother.
It's been one and a half hours and Blaine gets up suddenly.Blaine gets surprised by this sight - Kurt gets up from his place ,weak and shaky. He comes near Blaine and throws himself on Blaine. Blaine hears the intense break- out from Kurt, nearly knocking him to the chair.
Blaine hears Kurt patiently as Kurt keeps talking about how he feels,clearly intense. Blaine can't bear seeing Kurt so heart broken. He slowly takes kurt to the bedside, makes him to sit and lends his shoulder to cry on. Blaine feels his own heart heavy, as if he lost his own brother. Kurt is holding him so tightly that he feels choked, but he doesn't care.
'I...I wanted to c-call you ,Blaine. I wanted to call you after the sec-sectionals. B-but ,I didn't wa-want to bother you. I'm just a friend who met you at t-the p-park. It isn't f-fair to b-bother you.'
Is Blaine thinking the same? Is he just a friend from the park? Is Kurt seeing him as a stranger? Blaine doesn't talk to talk, but his mind urges to speak out. He doesn't expect Kurt to look his face.
'Listen Kurt, Mercedes called me this evening . She called me to come here. As 'A friend from the park' ,i would have ignored her call or excused myself. I didn't ,Kurt because i don't think you like that. We share so much to each other. I consider you as my best friend,Kurt. Believe it or not, You can always feel free to call me up and talk if you want to. I would be more happy to listen to you than any other thing.'
A silence prevails for about a minute. Blaine hears a soft, breezy, barely audible voice.
'Honestly?'
'Pinky swear. Besides, i don't think I will be buying ice creams to a stranger.'
Blaine can feel Kurt chuckling on his shoulder. Blaine gets some hope to bring Kurt's spirit back.There is more silence after that. Blaine finds Kurt cuddling him ,fast asleep. He can see all the exhaustion on Kurt's face. He can't keep Kurt like this, though it is a nice feel, frankly, something like filling a part of Blaine's emptiness.
He puts his hand under Kurt's knees slowly , holding his back with his other hand.He lifts Kurt with his hands. Kurt seems to be easy to lift and that's not a good sign for a 17 yr old boy. kurt sleeps in Blaine's arm like a baby. Blaine stands there staring at Kurt ,holding him, wishing if this could be forever, but he knows he can't.
He gently places Kurt, with Kurt's head on the pillow, and climbs the bed to sit beside him. Just then, Mercedes comes inside and sits at the end of the bed. She doesn't have to ask anything. She sees Kurt keeping hands on Blaine's thigh and having a sound sleep after 2 days.
She comes near to Blaine's ear. ' Blaine, Kurt's dad went to do the official papers to new york. The processes are over and they are bringing Carson to Lima in, early morning tomorrow. A funeral service has been arranged for tomorrow, Blaine. We are doing the needful here. So, can you keep Kurt company?'
'y-yeah,sure'. Blaine sees Mercedes going out of the room. Blaine wonders how Kurt is gonna handle,seeing Carson for the last time. Blaine stares a pity glance at kurt. How hard it would be to lose a loved one?
Blaine decides to send an e-mail to his school, requesting two days' leave. Blaine knows Kurt will be needing him. As a friend. He calls David to cover up for him, send his home works for 2 days, and bring his clothes the next day evening. He sits there next to Kurt, staring at Kurt, eventually falling into slumber.
Blaine's dream doesn't leave him on this day. It chose particularly this day to come back. But every time Blaine is about to see the boy's face, he gets interrupted by Kurt, waking up from his nightmares. Blaine couldn't get mad at Kurt, how could he? The poor guy is suffering from not getting proper sleep, holding Blaine's thigh tight with every nightmare hit.
The next day dawns ,to Blaine's dismay. Kurt wakes up, soon after Blaine did.
"You okay?'
' Yeah ' Kurt nods with a little smile.
Blaine receives a text message from Mercedes.
' Uh..Kurt. Carson has come to the town. Let's go, see him. ' Blaine extends his hand to Kurt. To Blaine's surprise, Kurt isn't crying anymore. Kurt seems to be numb to emotions. Blaine hands Kurt's Black suit that Mercedes left him and sends him into the bathroom. Kurt returns back in no time, unlike his routine time,still messed up,but concealers on.
Blaine drives him to the church. Kurt doesn't believe in god, but he has to go this time, this event pushing him into the church. Blaine offers Kurt an apple, but Kurt doesn't accept it, he keeps staring through the window, with his iPod and his earphones plugged in his ears. They reach the church and Blaine opens the door for Kurt.
This is the first time that Kurt comes to church in years. Blaine is walking close to kurt ,just in case Kurt has a panic attack.
The Church is decorated with white and violet flowers,white ribbons and candles. Kurt doesn't notice these; his eyes are fixed on the only thing- the open coffin box.
Kurt slowly walks to the box and gives a spontaneous peek into it. All he could see is a reflection of his ,except it is not him. Kurt was expecting to see his soul part brother in November, but didn't expect to see him in the middle of October and didn't expect it was the last time he can see him.
Kurt immediately pulls his face from peeking and buries his head into his dad's shoulder. Kurt can't believe that he is facing his worst nightmare. He had Carson to face his first nightmare, but now nobody.
Everything seems to go too fast. The prayer,eulogies which Kurt refused to give, and finally it is time to bury. It is Kurt's chance to look at Carson one more time.
He touches Carson's cold face in a loving brotherly way,he touches his chest . Kurt still doesn't lose himself but leans into the box to give one last soft kiss to Carson's forehead ,to his hands who carried Kurt on his back and ruffled his hair in comfort. Mercedes slowly escorts Kurt out of the church. They are joined by Blaine who was standing outside. His hazel eyes are filled with tears,Sadness hits him like a truck.
The walk to the burying place was silent. Blaine remembers every single time from his first time trip to the graveyard. The violet and the vanilla flowers, trees still in their autumn phase,but this time it is not for Kurt's mother.
The coffin is kept open for one last sight Kurt stands right next to the coffin ,the whole time. He stands there wondering if there is any spell in the world to bring Carson back. The place where the lightning hit is clearly hid. Blaine stands next to Kurt,keeping a watch eye.
Kurt has to see lowering of the coffin box for the second time; he remembers the first time like yesterday- he was holding Carson so tight and hiding his face in his coat.
But this time kurt is holding Blaine, his head on his shoulder,so close that Blaine can feel his skin under his shirt. Kurt sees Carson being buried right next to his mom and that is devastating.
Their walk back to the church and then their ride back home,is totally silent .Mercedes and Rachel are sitting at the back and kurt by Blaine's side plugging his ear phones.
The afternoon goes so silent ,Blaine texting Kurt's leave letter to the school,asking for a week after discussing with Burt. Blsine realizes that Kurt hasn't eaten snuthing for past 3 days and Kurt is going weak.
He gets downstairs for some Apples and grapes. He sits near kurt,holding an apple.
' Here Kurt, have this apple. You haven't eaten for 3 days and your body cannot handle it.'
No response from Kurt. Blaine takes the album from Kurt's lap. He can clearly see the album having Kurt's childhood memories. He pulls Kurt's face towards him, and keeps his hand on Kurt's.
'Kurt, look. I know this is a very difficult time for you. But,it is heart breaking for me to see my..f-friend to sit so pale and weiry. The past isn't gonna change any day ,Kurt. You know that better than me. You have a life ahead and it's your choice now- to sit and lament over the past or to restore it for later and move forward. My talk may seem crazy to you, you may slap me for what I am speaking now, But just a part of your life which went, not you.
Carson wouldn't be happy to see his brother so miserable and pale. He will want you to be happy. Isn't it?'
' How am i supposed to be happy, if i lost something precious to me again and i know it isn't gonna come back?' Kurt's words are sharp all of the sudden.
'Whoa, good question. Let me ask you something ,Kurt. Do you know Luna Lovegood?'
'From Harry potter? yes'
'Do you remember what Luna told harry when he asked about her shoes?'
Kurt's mind is too blank on this page, his mind is so heavy with other concerns. Kurt just keeps staring at Blaine .
' '"Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.",this is what she said.' Blaine quotes with a smile.
' What do you mean with this quote?' Kurt asks in confusion.
' I know no one will replace Carson's place in your mind ,Kurt. But there will surely be a time ahead, when you find somebody comfortable like Carson. Just like your mom and Carole. Carole cannot fill your mom's place ,no doubt. But at least , she is a comfort person for you ,isn't she?'
Blaine lets Kurt to ponder over his words. He spoke what he felt and now it's time for him to wait for Kurt's thoughts.
'This apple is not gonna wait ,Kurt. Take a bite. I promise I'll buy you ice cream later. Please?'
Kurt somehow finds Blaine's begging puppy eye face to be funny. These hazel eyes are the only comfort things now ,in his room. Kurt bites the apple from Blaine's hand . Kurt feels nauseous and run to the basin. blaine runs behind him.
' This will happen if you don't have your food for 3 days. Don't worry, I'll go downstairs and get you something else.', Blaine pats Kurt's back to ease him and he goes down.
By the time Blaine returns back, Kurt managed to clean up the mess, wash his face and of course,apply his concealer. Blaine comes into the room with a glass of water, while Kurt comes out .feeling quite refreshed.
'Here, have this. I 've added ORS to this Have this first and take rest'
kurt accepts the glass and sits on the bed. ' B-blaine, know it's weird, but your shoulder's are giving me Carson's vibe. You know, it's kinda comforting..', Kurt speaks in low voice.
' Do you want to lie on my shoulder?'
' If you are okay with it..'
Blaine smiles at the shy Kurt. Blaine nods, patting his own shoulder. Kurt manages to get on the bed,to a more comfortable position and Blaine sits next to him. Kurt leans his on his shoulder hesitantly and starts to sip the water. He gets comfortable as minutes go by ,on Blaine's shoulder.
'Where have you been all my life?' Kurt suddenly,turning towards blaine.
' Under some staircase' Kurt bursts out into laughter, as blaine says sarcastically.
Blaine feels a contentment in his mind. He has helped his friend and that gives him different feel. Only if he had somebody to make him feel like that.
Hey guys,thank for the reviews. it means so much to me. And yeah,more reviews are welcome