AN:

Good day, my pretties!

Just hurriedly throwing this online before catching up with my IRL obligations Gosh, I'm so bad at adulting at the moment! Someone pay me for this shit please, so I have the means and an excuse to hire a maid, a baby sitter and all those other people to do my more boring tasks for me lol
Just kidding... for one, this chapter is so totally not perfect... I couldn't possibly charge for this 😅 But I just needed to put it out there regardless and move on. Sorry about that. I'm sure it still has enough entertainment value. I'll try and do better next time.

Anyways, happy reading and all that jazz... See ya all next week!

xoxo
MLE (=^_^=)

Chapter Nineteen

Arriving at her sister's apartment, she knocked rather than rang the bell. Vaguely remembering Nessa's daily schedule, she didn't want to risk an interruption of her morning prayers and—by extension—her wrath.

She could hear shuffling from the other side of the door, then scraping at the wood. She looked up to where the peephole sat and made a silly face. Her antics were met with a muffled scoff, but the keys jangled all the same, and the lock clicked open.

"Elphaba," said Nanny, as if she hadn't already known.

"Good morning, Nanny. I just came to drop off the shampoo Nessa asked for, and the black bread, and the passionfruit yoghurt."

She passed the jute shopping bag to the older woman.

"Nanny could have taken care of that. What made you so sure I didn't already?"

"It will take Nessa a few days to properly settle in. I know you wouldn't like to leave her to her own devices in the meantime, so I came early to ensure you didn't find yourself forced to do so against your will. Or to drag her along maybe."

"I see the respite from your care duties has not led you to become ignorant of your sweet sister's needs," commented Nanny with approval. "I'm afraid she's napping right this moment and won't be able to thank you in person."

Elphaba raised her brows.

"Still in bed? Nessarose?"

"I said napping," emphasised Nanny with a chuckle. "She woke up before sunrise, of course, to apply herself to her daily devotions. But travelling so far was tiring for the poor dear, and now she requires additional rest. But do come in, my pet, I can make you a cup of coffee all the same."

Elphaba shoved her hands into her pockets and twisted her right foot on the dusty concrete floor.

"Thanks, Nanny, but no. I really only came by to deliver the goods. I have other places to be."

"Oh, but you must. We haven't seen each other in so long. You didn't know that Nessa would be asleep, so you must have factored in a few minutes to talk to her. She would't have let you go so easily. Spare some time for old Nanny instead, will you?"

Elphaba acquiesced and stepped forward to clean her boots on the doormat. She refused to remove them, however, stressing her intention to keep this visit as brief as possible.

Shaking her head, Nanny waved her spotty, wrinkled hand and sent her in the direction of the small living room. When she joint her there a little later, she carried a tray laden with two cups and a plate of pastries.

"Leftovers from breakfast," she said and pushed the entire plate in Elphaba's direction. Elphaba took a sip of her coffee, then clasped her hands in her lap.

She watched Nanny studying her. Now that they were alone, she didn't avert her gaze in shame.

"Taking after your dear mother, I see," remarked the old woman. "Well, can't say I'm entirely surprised, though I expected, or maybe just hoped you to be cleverer. Less given to passion at least."

"There was no passion involved," Elphaba replied curtly.

Nanny did a double take at that, looking back up from the cup she'd already brought to her lips. Narrowing her eyes slightly as she looked her over once more, she seemed to be trying to determine something without venturing her question. Whether she was entirely confident in her assessment in the end, Elphaba couldn't tell. The old woman merely flared her wide nostrils, shook her head, and inhaled a big gulp of coffee before changing the topic.

"So how far along are you then, hm? When should we expect the cries of a wee Throppling to terrorise our auditory passages?"

Elphaba cast a quick glance at the door to Nessa's bedroom.

"She's asleep," Nanny said dismissively.

"She's a light sleeper," countered Elphaba.

"Her ears aren't keen enough to hear us from over there. As long as you don't shout out the answer, she won't wake."

Elphaba worked her jaw in frustration.

"I'm well into my second trimester," she supplied at last, then lowered her head and took to removing dirt from underneath her fingernails.

"Oh, sweet Lurline!" She glanced up at that. The surprise in Nanny's face was mildly gratifying. "Melena carried a lot bigger when she had you. I wouldn't have pegged you past your first three months, four at most. Well, I suppose not all traits will always be inherited."

"Melena sported a much more womanly figure, if I remember this correctly," Elphaba pointed out.

"Very true, that she did. On the other hand, you have nowhere to hide the child. Is the little froggy even growing well?"

"Last we checked, they were." She casually looked at her phone. "In about half an hour I have another appointment to further ascertain that that's still the case."

Nanny bobbed her head thoughtfully.

"Quite onto it these days, aren't they? Well, and I suppose it's easier in the city anyways. When Melena was pregnant with you, the midwife only saw her once or twice before she gave birth. And poor, little Nessa. No one knew that she would be born the way she was. Times have changed, haven't they?"

Elphaba took a pastry and bit into it so she'd be unable to respond.

"But listen to me now, Elphaba, Elphie," said Nanny sternly, commanding her attention. "You really have a remarkable talent for inconvenient planning. Your great-grandfather is in bad health, they rumour. Naturally, they have done that before, but with each passing year the gossip becomes more, well, believable. Don't you agree? At any rate, the old fart won't live forever. And now, of all times, you decide to hamper yourself with a wailing, little urchin!"

"Never intended to take on the mantle of Eminency in the first place," said Elphaba, leaning back and crossing her arms. "Surely nobody ever expected me to."

Gobsmacked, Nanny stared at her.

"I am green," Elphaba reminded her pointedly.

"And the current Eminent Thropp looks and reeks like death," spat Nanny. "No one has dethroned him on the grounds of appearances yet."

"Being already unappealing at one's inauguration is different from simply becoming old and unattractive over the course of one's reign. No, Nessa is the better candidate to fill the post whenever our great-grandfather decides to pass on."

Clearly agitated, Nanny ran her hand over her lower face. She drained her remaining coffee in one big draught and harrumphed.

"And here I thought you had more sense in that head of yours. The mere suggestion! Nessa is neither suitable, nor willing, I would bet. Her religiosity is all she cares about, and the Eminency would only impede her holy practices. Besides, she is young, just about to begin her studies. She will be cranky beyond belief if she's made to return to Munchkinland before even completing her degree."

"The same would apply to me," Elphaba interrupted heatedly. She flashed her a fierce look, then backed down somewhat and quietly added, "If it wasn't for the child, I mean. As you know, I never was able to afford studying full time. If anything, she'd graduate before me."

Nanny only grunted in reply.

"Well, she won't do it, and if she won't, then who will, hm?"

"Shell perhaps." Even knowing it was a near impossible solution to their problem, she couldn't help but give voice to her wishful thinking. "I always thought him a bit dull, but he thrives on attention or has that changed?"

"And how old do you think the boy is now? Think, Elphaba, think. He's far too young and too male. What the Munchkins want and need is a return to female rule."

"We no longer rule Munchkinland," Elphaba noted. "We are figureheads at best. What figureheads need more than wisdom or cleverness is glamour and allure. Nessa knows how to dress and carry herself. Her lack of arms is concealable, her religious views needn't be mentioned."

"Oh, she would mention them, poppet, don't act so obtuse. It doesn't suit you. If she'd ever agree to the job, it would be to further her Unionist agenda, make no mistake."

They had arrived at an impasse. As luck would have it, Elphaba knew exactly how to escape it, at least this once.

"Well, he's not dead, not yet. We will have this conversation another time. I really must be off now, or I'll miss my appointment."

"You and Nessa will have to have this conversation. And soon. The succession should be settled beforehand to guarantee a smooth transition. Others will have to be consulted as well if any amends to the natural order of these things should be made. The political future of Munchkinland won't be decided in this humble parlour. I'm sure you must know this."

Elphaba stood, rolling her eyes. Maybe she should run away, disappear to some place where nobody would find her. She'd heard the Emerald City was beautiful around this time of year. At least then the future would be out of her hands. It wasn't her fault that she'd been born into this family. Besides, what exactly was the point in hereditary titles, positions and styles these days? In her opinion, it was time for those traditions to die a quick death rather than live on, waning in significance for the rest of eternity.

Besides, if she really were to become the next Eminent Thropp, her progeny would become the next in line. She wanted many things for her child, but this was certainly not one of them.

When she arrived at the clinic she was ten minutes late, but as per usual, the appointments were running behind schedule anyway. She sat down and tried not to dwell on her and Nanny's argument. Pulling out her phone for distraction, she hoped to find a message or two from Galinda, but not a single notification showed up on her display. She made a face and locked the phone before clasping it between her outstretched hands, resting on her anxiously bouncing knees.

"Wow, you've got a proper little monkey in there," said the young woman performing the ultrasound. "Baby just keeps wiggling and turning. Do you usually feel a lot of movement?"

"Depends," Elphaba replied, unsure. She was aware now of the occasional kicks or punches, but found it difficult to match the antics that were observable on the screen with anything she could actually feel.

"Well, at least we know baby is happy in there. A lack of movement is what usually concerns us the most."

Elphaba took a breath and nodded, mostly to herself, as the sonographer's attention was firmly fixed on the monitor before her. She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on any movement from within, but she found that she couldn't distinguish between the baby's manoeuvres and the prodding of the ultrasound probe.

"Maybe they dislike this procedure as much as I do," she said out loud without meaning to.

"This shouldn't be painful," said the woman and cast her a worried glance.

"It isn't."

Elphaba's reply seemed to confuse her even more. She gave her a strange look, but when Elphaba chose to ignore it, she went back to her task.

"Okay. So here we've got a nice look at the spine—

"Oops, now it's gone again. Cheeky monkey. Let's move on and come back to that later."

This was how most of the session went. Nearly every time the sonographer spotted a landmark, the little one made it a point to hide it again, and the woman gave chase with her transducer—with varying degrees of success.

"Oz, what a challenge," she complained, but in a patient, friendly tone. "I think it's time to call in reinforcements. Meanwhile, why don't you try and sit up, take a couple of deep breaths and gently stroke your tummy. It might not do anything, but it won't hurt either."

She disappeared for a few minutes, then returned with a more experienced colleague. Elphaba's face fell when she recognised him as the man who'd conducted her previous examination.

"Oh, hello there. Miss Elphaba, right? Nice to meet you again. Still causing commotions, I see?"

Her mouth turned into a thin line, but there was no need for her to answer. The younger woman, unfamiliar with their backstory, cheerily explained that baby was the trouble maker in this instance.

"Well, let's have a look then," he said with a commanding voice, as if he could make the foetus hold still by the sheer power of his authority.

Elphaba lay back down when she was prompted to do so. She was undecided over whether she wanted the appointment to be over already, or whether she hoped for the presumptuous man to have even less success than his younger counterpart. Unable to influence the outcome either way, she squared her jaw and waited.

The man picked up the probe and fiddled with it, irately adjusting his grip around it several times. Elphaba suspected he still held a decent amount of disdain for the plastic sleeve that protected her from the irritating water-based lube, and the expensive instrument from the unauthorised oil-based gel on Elphaba's abdomen. Despite the fact it had been his idea in the first place.

All of his seniority, training, and experience combined did not seem to make a big difference. Baby still refused to make it easy for him. Together, the two sonographers managed a few extra measurements and snapshots, but no good quality heart rate sequence could be obtained, and the images of the heart also remained blurry.

"Well, I'd say I have seen enough to venture that baby is well proportioned and well sized," the woman told her with a reassuring smile while her colleague stubbornly continued to try and capture pictures of the missing organs. "Did you want to know what you're having?"

Elphaba's eyes flickered over to the screen, but then she shook her head as briskly as her position and the pillow allowed.

"I suppose that concludes today's session then. I'm afraid you'll have to return in a week or so. It's a bother, I know, but at least you'll get to see baby again sooner than expected."

She printed out a couple of pictures for her and apologised that the video material wasn't good enough for a CD.

"Next time, I'm sure," she said, handing Elphaba a bunch of paper towels so she could clean herself up. The man murmured a curt goodbye and left.

On the way back, Elphaba walked with the long slip of black and white photos right up to her face. Even so, she effortlessly managed to evade oncoming pedestrians and crossed roads safely—she was well practiced in this mode of travel, though usually her nose was instead buried in a book.

Squinting her eyes, she studied the pictures, took in every minute detail. The more she looked, the more she thought not of the child she was so casually hauling along, but Galinda, who must be terribly upset to have missed this scan. Truth be told, Elphaba had half expected to find the blonde in front of the clinic earlier, waiting for her to show up so she could wheedle her until she relented and took her inside despite her earlier verdict. She was glad that that idea had been mere paranoia, but she knew for a fact that the real trouble awaited her at home.

That didn't mean that she thought herself guilty of any wrongdoing though. Galinda had high expectations when it came to her involvement with the child, but no inherent rights. Elphaba hand't denied her anything she had a legitimate claim to. Quite the contrary, she'd had a good reason to exclude her from this experience—one and a half reasons, to be precise.

The lesser of her motives was a little petty, she grudgingly admitted. She hadn't wanted Galinda to try and find out the sex of the child, but that was something they could have discussed like the adult women they should have matured into by now. She took another look at the ultrasound pictures and worked her jaw. Was she even half as grown up as she pretended to be if this was how she handled things?

But she was forgetting something: the more important reason why she hadn't brought Galinda along. The kiss.

The kiss Galinda had bestowed upon her just before they'd reached campus on that first day of their exam period. The kiss that had served as a distraction rather than a testimony of affection. The kiss that had reminded her of how unprepared her girlfriend really was to acknowledge their relationship.

No, of course this wasn't a quit pro quo situation. Elphaba didn't mean to hurt her this one time, simply because of that one instance when Galinda had inflicted pain on her. But she'd learnt her lesson, realised that Galinda couldn't possibly be the parent she naïvely dreamt herself to be. She couldn't be the parent this child deserved if she was so pathologically uncommitted.

So she'd have to take a backseat, be less involved. Since Elphaba knew that Galinda would never willingly do so, she had to take responsibility, make the decision for her and be less inclusive when it came to antenatal bonding experiences and the like. It wasn't really a choice. She simply had to do it.

And once the baby had left the shielded safety of her womb? Then what? How was she supposed to jealously guard the infant child from her flatmate, her lover? Because that was very much what they still were, and despite everything, Elphaba was unwilling to give that up so easily.

Yes, of course she knew that it was an enormous conflict of interest, and no, she didn't know if she could as much as hope to solve it. But what in Oz was she supposed to do? Deny herself the little love life finally had deigned to send her way? Raise her child in a desolate hovel like the one Galinda had found her in?

Well, only until her great-grandfather kicked the bucket, perhaps. If she were desperate enough, she'd practically be forced to accept her political role, no matter how unsuited she was, and no matter how badly this might turn out to be for Munchkinland. Needless to say, she couldn't allow herself and the kid to starve. That way, she'd have plenty of money at least. But she ardently wished it would never come that far.

Her phone went off in her bag. When she pulled it out, her sister's name flashed across the screen. Why did she have to call now! Had she sensed her thoughts and decided to give her a ring so she could weigh in on the matter? Elphaba groaned but picked up at once.

"Nessie."

"Hello, Elphaba. Nanny told me you came by this morning."

She scowled. Why did her sister already sound so accusatory?

"Yes, I'm sorry my timing was off," she apologised as politely as she could manage. "I mostly just intended to drop off those things you wanted."

"Yes, thank you for that," said Nessa dismissively. "Nanny seems to think that you and I have something important to discuss. Could you come back and take lunch with us?"

Elphaba paused and stopped walking for a moment. She shoved her free hand into the pocket of her jeans and clenched it.

"Sorry, I've got work later," she replied curtly.

"Join us for tea then," countered Nessarose, rather demanding than offering by the sound of it.

"Again, I have work. I will come and see you when I'm free. Maybe tomorrow, maybe the day after; I'll see what I can do."

"Is Nanny right?" Nessa then asked instead. "Do you plan to abdicate your right to the Eminency?"

Grinding her teeth, Elphaba silently cursed her former caretaker for informing her sister so promptly. For all she knew, Peerless Thropp wasn't dead yet. There was no need for exaggerated hurry.

"She is," she confirmed at length, letting the words hang between them. Remaining silent for a while, Nessa almost gave her hope. Almost.

"You can't do this to me," she said bitterly in the end. "You're the eldest daughter. The job is your privilege and your burden to bear."

Elphaba scoffed, her head turned away from the phone. But she tried to speak gently, softly when she replied.

"Nessa, my rejection of the title is hardly an unprecedented move. Our aunt did the same, if you recall. Not that it mattered in the end—mother died years ago and so did she. Untimely deaths, both of them. At any rate, she gave no good explanation for her decision other than that she preferred a quieter lifestyle. I at least believe to have valid grounds."

"And what are those grounds of yours that trump your poor sister's disability, I wonder?" huffed Nessa. "Have you ever thought of me in all of this?"

"Nessa, you know my reasons. And don't pretend your disability would prevent you from fulfilling any duties. You needn't write the speeches you give, nor turn the pages on the lectern. You can hire aides to help you while nobody could possibly disguise my unfortunate deformity.

The noise of a brisk blow of air told Elphaba that Nessa had commandeered Nanny to hold the phone for her. She could have simply used the speaker function, but perhaps she wanted to keep Nanny's understanding of their argument one-sided and in her favour. That would be just like her. When she spoke again, Nessa sounded even more indignant and aggrieved.

"You are mentally and physically capable of doing whatever is required of you," she said. "Stop pretending your looks inevitably condemn you to a life in the shadows."

Elphaba sighed.

"This is politics we're talking about, Nessa. It's not so much about aptitude as it is about perception. Seriously, ask anyone at university when you start your lessons next semester. I'm not performing well in that regard."

"Because you insist on being an insufferable know-it-all. And always so abrasive!" She gave vent to her impatience through a dramatic cry. "That's what truly puts people off, you know? It's not all about your discolouration."

"Ah. I'm glad you know so much about this," retorted Elphaba sarcastically. "Maybe you should have told that to my young, unassuming self the first time a neighbourhood kid threw their half eaten sandwich in my direction. I'm sure it was nothing but a misunderstanding, eh? If only I'd been nice about it, we would have become best friends. Let me think for a clock-tick why I didn't consult your opinion back then when the whole trouble started… Oh, that's right. You were still in your diapers, without a clue of what was going on."

Nessa clicked her tongue.

"This discussion is derailing," she declared with an air of presumptuous superiority. "We need to return to the issue at hand."

"No, Nessa. We need to end this discussion. For now at least. I'll come and see you tomorrow. I will. We'll talk then, but don't expect that you'll be able to change my mind."

She hung up the call before her younger sibling could formulate a rebuttal and slid her phone into her satchel. Dammit. She'd hoped to avoid this conversation for another couple of years. A more mature Nessa might have been easier to argue with. Then again. Given her lifelong obsession with her religion, she might actually require a decent period of forewarning, preparation, and adjustment. Maybe now was indeed the best time. If only she had anyone on her side. Nanny would probably try and stay out of it, but ultimately step in to defend poor, fragile Nessa. It was a hopeless campaign.

"I'm back," she announced as the door fell into its lock behind her. There was no reply.

Galinda might have gone out, she figured. Maybe she was with a friend, seeking to take her mind off her anger and disappointment, or maybe she met up with Boq so she could rant freely about how mistreated and neglected she felt. Well, it would be good for her to blow off some steam before the actual confrontation would to happen.

Firmly believing in the likelihood of either the one or the other scenario to be true, Elphaba didn't pay a whole lot of attention as she strode into the kitchen to locate something edible that might serve as her lunch. She darted towards the fridge with the precision of a hawk descending upon its prey. Her loot: a box of sprouts and the meagre leftovers of a round of cheese. As she closed the door and turned around, she nearly bumped into the girl leaning against the counter. She jumped and cursed mildly under her breath.

"Hello to you as well," Galinda said tersely before blowing her mug of instant soup and taking a sip.

"I—I didn't see you there," Elphaba countered in her own defence. "You could have replied to my shout-out when I first arrived."

"I expected you to at least acknowledge me once you walked in."

"I didn't see you. You could have said hello first."

"I had my back turned, stirring my soup."

"You—aargh!" Elphaba threw up her hands and walked off to the other end of the kitchen benchtop where she unpacked her morsels and began to eat.

Galinda slurped her soup in silence, then placed the empty cup in the dishwasher right next to where Elphaba stood, nibbling on her sprouts, one pea at a time. Her task seemingly accomplished, Galinda continued to linger. She remained where she was, watching Elphaba, and soon enough, her unwavering gaze began to unnerve the green girl. She shifted her weight and averted her face, but that didn't eliminate the burning sensation of blue eyes boring into her.

"What?" she finally asked in a low voice.

The blonde bristled.

"'What?'" she repeated. "Couldn't you come up with something better to say?"

"Like what?"

Closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose, Elphaba willed this conversation to simply end. To no avail.

"Like…" Galinda licked her lips and repositioned herself. "Like an explanation of some kind? An explanation as to what got into you this morning?"

"I'm not sure if you really want to get into that right now," shot back Elphaba, trying hard to restrain herself. Her argument with Nessa was still too fresh in her mind. She feared that, if she started a fight with Galinda, her frustrations over both matters would get entangled and intermixed in a way that wouldn't be fair towards her.

Thankfully, Galinda appeared to have sensed her agitation, for she took a small step back and regarded her sceptically, as if it was gradually dawning on her, that she really was in no position to dish out the accusations that sat at the tip of her tongue.

A lot more cautiously, she said, "But I think I do," before clearing her voice and straightening her spine. "We agreed to discuss our feelings openly, didn't we?" she continued, sounding a tad more confident again. "If something is bothering you, you must tell me."

"Must I?" growled Elphaba, against her better judgement. "Or how about you start by making an educated guess?"

Crossing her arms, Galinda informed her that she would do no such thing.

"I'm not going to make a fool of myself. Speak plainly and give me a chance to make amends."

"Maybe realising what you did wrong might be part of the exercise."

Elphaba snapped the box of sprouts shut and pushed it away from herself. Appetite had deserted her.

Galinda scowled.

"Over the past few days I did everything I could to help you prepare for your sister's arrival. We skipped the date I was so looking forward to, thanks to your sister. I welcomed her with open arms regardless. If I remember correctly, and I didn't misinterpret your, uh, gestures last night, you, in fact, really appreciated my efforts.

"But suddenly, I wake up in the morning, and you've turned into this stand-offish, grouchy shrew. Now I don't know what to think, so your input would be greatly appreciated."

Elphaba winced, then twisted her face at the small twinge coming from her midsection. She brought her hand up to her abdomen to rub it gently in a circular motion. Could it be that her offspring's tolerance for quarrels was a lot lower than her own? She drew a breath and reached for the folded piece of paper in her back pocket and put it on the counter, sliding it over to Galinda. Her girlfriend took it, hesitantly lifted the edge to confirm her suspicion, then hurried to unfold and flatten it.

"That's all I received from them this time," Elphaba told her, suppressing a soft groan."Junior objected to being filmed today." She blew out a long breath. Mercifully, the discomfort was slowly subsiding.

Seemingly unaware, and busy tracing the outlines of one of the pictures with her forefinger, Galinda looked more sad than angry. Seeing her like this caused another, a very different sort of pang to course through Elphaba. She mellowed somewhat, feeling torn between resentment and affection.

"You know, I really can't imagine my life without you," she said softly, solemnly.

The blonde looked up at that, her brows knitted, her lips slightly parted. Confusion was written all over her pretty face.

"I'm trying, struggling, really… to keep these two aspects separate. Us"—she first pointed at Galinda and herself, then at herself and her belly—"and us."

Galinda shook her head faintly.

"How? And—and why?"

Grimacing, Elphaba hiked her shoulders. She let her gaze wander. She couldn't possibly look Galinda in the eye while delivering her message.

"I obviously haven't worked out the how just yet. I'm sorry if my recent behaviour came across as erratic. I suppose that's because it was just that. I'm lost, I admit it. I don't know how or where to start. But I do know why I feel like I have to do it this way."

"Please do share," said Galinda quietly and swallowed, "since I can't make neither heads, nor tails of what you're doing."

Elphaba nodded.

"You see, as a partner," she began, then paused as she tried to fully form her argument before speaking. Muddled thoughts raced through her mind, yet she couldn't grasp them, much less connect them in any meaningful way. Why was it that she could come up with the most eloquent turns of phrase in a scientific essay, but couldn't express her most intrinsic, personal instincts and emotions? She tried again.

"Okay, so the long and short of it is that I… I understand why you'd want to keep me hidden." Her stomach dropped. Hearing the words, even from her own mouth, hit her harder than she'd expected. Still, she ploughed on. "I—I don't exactly agree, and, well, I won't pretend it doesn't hurt."

Her eyes fell on her hands that were resting on the kitchen counter. No, not so much resting as gripping it with all her strength, as if her life depended on it. She hadn't even noticed.

Forgetting about the argument for an instant, she stared at her tensed up hands and willed her fingers to move. Did she still have any control over her limbs? Indeed, they did as commanded, curling until her fingernails dug into her palm. She flexed her hands a few times, then relaxed a little, releasing a small sigh.

"Where was I?" Her brow furrowed in concentration. "Ah, yes.

"Look, I'm okay with remaining your secret if that's how it has to be." She was relieved to find the idea less hurtful when spoken out loud a second time. "As a person, as a lover, I can put up with that. If it's either that or separation, I can't really imagine choosing the alternative.

"But I've got someone else to consider—"

"You mean the baby," Galinda interjected, her voice trembling slightly.

Elphaba looked up at her fleetingly and bobbed her head.

"Yes.

"I've considered your petitions, and I've been wavering in regards to what my ultimate answer should be. But in the end I decided that I can't subject my kid to the same treatment that I receive from you. I might not deserve any better, but they certainly do."

The sound that escaped Galinda's lips made her flinch, but she didn't dare glance up again.

"You can have me," she rushed to add. She reached out and took Galinda's hand into her own. Staring at their joint hands was a whole lot easier than looking straight into her eyes. "I'm yours. Just the child… they're not. Though I'm, well, I'm not yet sure how to draw that line, practica—"

She was interrupted by a small but heart-wrenching noise and finally raised her gaze to meet her girlfriend's.

"Oh no, don't cry, Galinda."

But she was crying, tears travelling down her pale cheeks like the water of pristine mountain brooks on their path down to the valley. Too wrapped up in her endeavour to open up at last and express herself, Elphaba hand't realised when her eyes had first begun to mist over. Now it was too late.

For a clock-tick all she could do was to worry her lower lip and watch in indecision. What was there to do? How could she console her? Was she meant to? She hadn't done anything wrong. Of course, speaking the truth could hurt, but sometimes such pain was necessary as they both must know very well by now.

But if that was so, then why did she feel so miserable?

Out of sheer desperation and because she knew no better way forward, Elphaba cupped Galinda's wet cheeks, wiping at the tears with her thumbs. The moisture stung her skin, but more frequently exposed to the elements, her hands tended to be the least sensitive parts of her body. She leaned in to capture her lips. She hadn't applied her balm, and the salt further aggravated the burning sensation, but when Galinda responded despite the shuddering sigh that worked its way up her airways, it was all worth it.

Her efforts didn't immediately dry Galinda's tears. Quite on the contrary, the streams of salty wetness swelled at first. Even so, Galinda wrapped her arms around Elphaba's neck and pressed herself as close to her as possible. They exchanged little pecks, teased each other's lips, until they finally deepened the kiss. After a while, Elphaba put her hands on the undersides of her thighs and lifted her onto the kitchen counter. Galinda squealed in surprise, and they both withdrew.

"You shouldn't try and lift me." Galinda whispered breathlessly.

Sporting a slight, lopsided grin, Elphaba touched her nose against hers and said, "Bending so far down started to hurt my back."

"You're an insolent creature, Elphaba Thropp," replied Galinda distractedly while Elphaba nuzzled her neck.

Elphaba took in her scent. It was soothing in a way and concentrating on lavishing Galinda with tender ministrations was a welcome distraction. It was true; she could be cantankerous at times, but for the little monkey's sake and her own, as well as Galinda's, she supposed, she preferred to keep the peace for once.

Her mouth remained on her love's neck, providing firm pressure when she kissed, aiming for pleasant pain as she occasionally sucked or grazed her teeth. She'd had practice with this sort of stuff now and had begun to feel more confident—confident enough to divert most of her attention to her hands as they slipped underneath Galinda's light fabric tunic top.

This was… new. Much less experienced than her lips, her hands stalled briefly, resting on Galinda's hips as they adjusted to the sensation of bare, supple skin against their palms. When they finally did move, gliding slowly upwards, along the soft sides, feeling the ever so slight depressions in between individual ribs, eventually reaching the lacy fabric of Galinda's bra, a shiver went down the blonde's spine, and Elphaba reckoned she must be doing something right.

Tentative, her heart beating up to her throat, she ventured sideways, getting a first taste of fullness in her hands. It was almost too much, and she nearly pulled away. She halted her caresses along Galinda's neck and buried her face in her shoulder and silky curls, squeezing her eyes shut. This shouldn't be so difficult.

Oblivious, Galinda heaved a deep sigh, rolling her head against Elphaba's. She remained like that for a while and somehow the contact grounded the taller girl, giving her the courage to at least try and move on.

Her fingers twitched. She let her hands slide backwards and past whence they'd come from, briefly exploring Galinda's back, the changing contours of her shoulder blades as the blonde decided to shift in her own position, dropping her arms from Elphaba's neck, down to her back so as to pull herself closer yet again. Encouraged by that, Elphaba returned to Galinda's breasts, this time endeavouring to cup them fully and properly.

She could feel Galinda grabbing two fists full of her t-shirt in response and tilted her head so that she could firmly kiss the crook of her neck. She could hear Galinda's breath hitch. She was doing an okay job it seemed, but then—

"S-stop. Elphie. Stop."

She halted at once, carefully withdrawing her hands and lips. Scared of what she might see in Galinda's eyes, she hesitated before facing her full on.

"What's wrong my sweet?" she asked, a bit hoarse.

Galinda placed her hands on both sides of her face and planted a sweet kiss on her lips.

"I think it would be better we stopped right now."

Elphaba looked at her quizzically.

"Why?" She swallowed the lump in her throat. "You seemed to like it."

She watched for any indications that she'd been mistaken, but Galinda only smiled wistfully.

"This wasn't really you though, was it? You were… performing, I suppose."

"Aren't most social interactions performances in one way or another?"

"Well, this shouldn't be," said Galinda quietly. To Elphaba's relief, she didn't look overly disappointed.

"But it helped, didn't it? You find this comforting."

"It did, and I do. I think I've been conditioned that way. But perhaps I should find other coping mechanisms. This just isn't us, is it? Not right now at any rate."

She began to move her thumbs, tenderly stoking Elphaba's high cheekbones. Her eyes found her mouth and lingered there, and Elphaba expected her to lean in for another kiss. She looked tempted enough, but in the end, she merely lifted one of her hands to brush the tips of her fingers against dark green lips. They were still inflamed and tinkling from their earlier exposure to her tears.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "Does it hurt much?"

Elphaba shook her head.

"I hope you're not just acting brave." A pause. "I think you made your point, Elphie. I believe you. I believe in your commitment to my useless, uncommitted self."

About to protest, Elphaba opened her mouth, but Galinda shushed her with a finger pressed against her mouth.

"I promise I'll better myself. I promise to tell them."

Elphaba's mouth snapped shut, her lips pressed together. She didn't want to say it, she really didn't.

"I don't believe you."

There. She'd said it. Oz, why did she have to say it?

Those eyes. Those beautiful, blue eyes. They were welling up again. The tears were almost certainly going to make a comeback. She braced herself and preemptively dropped her gaze.

"Okay."

She looked up at that, surprised. Galinda's voice was thick, but her cheeks remained dry this time as she batted her eyelashes vigorously to keep them that way.

"Don't take my word for it. I know I wouldn't. But I'll prove it to you, you'll see."

Inhaling deeply, Elphaba shook her head.

"Let's not talk about it. I can't talk about it."

Galinda nodded and backed off.

"Let's go bed," she said.

Elphaba questioningly cocked her head.

"It's like two p.m. or something."

"Yeah? So?"

Brushing a strand of dark hair that had come loose from the braid out of her face, Galinda offered her a tired smile.

"O—okay. So we go to bed. And then?"

"I don't know," shrugged the blonde. "We could just snuggle up to each other, or we could kiss." She gave her a peck on her forehead. "Or we could just have a little nap. Anything, as long as it comes naturally."

"Locking myself in my room and putting my head in my hands comes naturally," replied Elphaba honestly.

Galinda chuckled despite herself.

"Well, anything but that."

Elphaba reluctantly agreed.

Mustering all the grace left to her, Galinda slid off the kitchen benchtop. She offered her hand and Elphaba took it, though her expression remained puzzled. Pulling gently, Galinda led the way, out of the kitchen, through the living room, up the stairs. Reaching for Elphaba's second hand, she guided her to the bedroom. They lay down and Galinda wrapped her arms around her in a similar manner as Elphaba usually embraced her. She brought Elphaba's head up against her chest and began to stroke her hair, aiming to soothe and comfort.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'll do better."

"Don't say that."

Elphaba's eyes felt strained and sore, she blinked, then recognised the first telltale signs of tears. With pure determination, she managed to keep them at bay, but only just.

Galinda rested her cheek against the top of her head. Soon, she heard soft sniffling, but before she knew it, the blonde had fallen asleep.

Wide awake for her part, Elphaba freed herself from Galinda's hold. She took a moment to observe her restful face, the glistening of stray tears still visible near her closed eyes. Elphaba brushed them away one last time, savouring the unpleasant sensation as some kind of absolution.

She checked the time. Quarter past two. She'd have to head to work if she didn't want to be late for her shift. She cast another look at Galinda, tempted to curl up next to her. Then, she swung her legs over the threshold of the bed and got up.

At the bottom of the stairs, Malky came trotting her way.

"Sorry buddy," she cooed, "I'm off to work."

She made to sidestep him, but suddenly stopped in her tracks and bent down to pick him up. Lifting him up to her face, she smiled, then ruffled his fur. She went back up the stairs to deliver the kitten to the big bed, carefully depositing him next to Galinda.

"Look after her for me, will you?" she said as she gave him one more pat. "I'll be back later tonight."