Second Chances

Chapter 4

As Jason was transfixed by his future bride walking down the aisle, it was taking all of his power to not fidget and go towards her. She had left him stunned, speechless and frozen at the onset but now he just wanted her next to him. As she finally reached him, he longingly looked into her eyes and reached out his hands to her, which she firmly grasped immediately. It had taken them a very long time to get where they were, at this moment, but he was just thankful that they had finally reached this point. A point where they were going to belong to one another and no one would be able to pry them away. Blood, sweat, tears, heartache, disappointments, fights, words they were not able to take back, loyalties tested, priorities forsaken, all of it, became null and void. They were here now. Together. In love. And about to promise themselves to each other for the rest of their lives.

He came back to reality as soon as the priest started talking and he became aware of Carly beaming at both Joss and Michael. She was so happy that they were standing next to them. Having her children's approval meant everything to Carly. And to be frank, to him as well. He had sacrificed so much in the name of friendship and now at this juncture of his life, about to marry the only woman he has adored above all others, he just was overwhelmed by love – to her, to her kids, to his kids, to their family and their friends. He heard the priest state that they were all honored to join in to celebrate the wedding of Caroline – known to her beloved – as Carly and Jason. That was them. His Carly. A semi-truck couldn't have moved him from this place. His feet were firmly in the ground, rooted to the ground actually, standing in front of Carly and all of their family and friends.

Emotions started to overwhelm him and as he started listening to Joss recite a reading chosen for them, he was reminded of how precious and important loving unconditionally and without judgement meant. And how he had only found that with Carly.

Now you will feel no rain.

For each of you will be shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold.

For each of you will be warmth for the other.

Now there is no loneliness for each of you will be companion to the other.

Now you are two bodies but there is only one life before you.

Go now into your dwelling place to enter into the days of your togetherness.

And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

Jason felt his jaw twitch once again. Since when had he become so emotional? It was surprising how much different one felt when certainty of being loved by the one you loved was attainable.

He was up: it was time to recite the vows that he had created for this day. And while he was a man of few words, he knew that these words he was about to utter would dramatically change the course of his life for the better. He just hoped that he would be able to get through them without his voice cracking with emotion. He knew them by heart so he didn't need a sheet of paper to read off of. He was speaking from the heart. And speaking, quite frankly, the words that he had wanted to utter to Carly for a lifetime.

Carly…uhm..we uh, we know each other, we accept each other, we trust each other. There's nobody I'd rather build a life and a future with.

Jason saw how Carly's eyes were starting to fill up with tears as she was listening to his vows, and he had to look down for a moment, to quicky compose himself as well.

So, this…your hand in mine, starts the rest of our lives…

He breathed in deeply and whispered reverently the final word of his vows: together.

As for Carly, having Jason stand in front of her, with his hands holding hers tighter than he'd ever held them, she was overwhelmed by the love she felt for this man. She couldn't explain it because for the majority of their adulthood, she had compartmentalized her feelings for Jason and became extremely successful at lying to herself on her true feelings for him. But now, they were here, about to be married, and she could only utter the vows, and the promises, she was making Jason as a mantra of her commitment and lifelong love for him. No longer in the shadows, no longer hidden deep inside of her, but out in the open for all to witness.

Jason gulped deeply as he concentrated on Carly's voice: Jason…my dearest friend. When I met you years ago, playing pool at Jake's, there was an instant connection. I couldn't describe it then and I still can't. What I do know: this isn't chance, this is a choice and I choose to stand by you for the rest of our lives. My determination isn't as quiet as yours but it's just as fierce. I cherish our past. And I can't wait to step into our future together.

If he wasn't stunned speechless before, he sure was now. Carly's vows to him tore at his heart strings and made him feel loved – finally – by the woman he had chosen to put above all others twenty plus years ago. The next few minutes of the ceremony were a blur, he was so consumed by his bride. He followed the steps, followed the priest as best he could, but he was in another world, a world in which only he and Carly existed at this particular moment.

Coming back to reality, Jason heard: Therefore, marriage is not to be entered into inadvisably or lightly but reverently, deliberately and in accordance for which it was instituted by God.

Next came the dreaded question: if anyone knew just cause why they shouldn't marry should speak now or forever hold their piece. After a few seconds, he saw Carly turn to their guests, so he did so as well and at the look of sheer relief on Carly's face when no one objected almost made him smirk. Who would object of their friends here present? Not one of them. But Carly always worked on worst case scenario. The priest then proceeded to ask the same question of them. Did they have any objection to their marriage? They looked at each other and communicated everything with only their eyes. They were so in sync they could actually hold entire conversations with one look. There was no way in hell either of them was going to back down from this. I will be forever yours. They promised one another.

The standard vows were issued next and the ring exchange as well and while Carly had her eyes fill with tears a few times, especially when Jason vowed to love and honor her, Jason wasn't surprised when his breath caught and his voice hitched as he told Carly, with this ring, he was placing on her finger, he was giving himself to her and to no one else. If Jason knew how to dream about a wedding that would be perfect, this is what he would have dreamed of. His beloved, wearing her wedding band as he uttered promise after promise to her. Promises that he had every intention of upholding.

The priest finally told him that he could kiss his bride and as he bent down to kiss her, he caught Carly's look of sheer joy. He kissed her slowly at first, reverently, and, like in the romance books, Carly loved to tell him about, the whole world seemed to disappear. All that mattered were them. He was completely oblivious to anyone else. He felt Carly pull back slightly and smile, and he found himself inching forward towards her once again in order to not break the contact. If he spent the next one hundred years, kissing Carly, he would not tire of it. He then found himself smiling as well before he latched on to her lips once again to kiss her for a few seconds longer. He never wanted this feeling to end.

As they finally pulled apart, all their guests were on their feet, smiling, laughing, excited that they were married. Joss hugged them both and said she was so happy, both of them agreeing with her. As the music started, Carly tore her eyes away from Joss and said: "There's our cue."

They walked hand in hand down the aisle smiling at their family and friends, as they got to the exit, still holding hands Jason asked: "Uhm…What's next?"

Carly looked at him, all smiles and feeling happy, a happy that she didn't think she had felt in a long time. "Well, we greet our guests and thank them for attending, shake hands and kiss cheeks. I do the kissing of the cheeks, not you." Carly smirked, and then winked playfully at Jason.

"What? Why?" Jason asked, not that he wanted to do either the shaking of hands or the kissing of cheeks. Carly knew that. To be honest, all he wanted was to have her alone, in their own little world, away from everyone so they could bask in this feeling of wedded bliss.

"You're mine now." Carly explained with a shrug of her shoulder and a fast wink. "People have accused me for decades of monopolizing your time and your attention and wanting to be first in your life. Now I get to say that it's normal for me to have all those things, because you're my husband."

Jason leaned in to her and whispered in her ear. "Don't be modest. I've always put you first. And you know that. But how about this?" Jason asked as he held her hand tighter. "Come with me." Jason pulled her gently and made her follow him out the door.

"What?" Carly asked, but followed him anyway. She didn't know where they were going but she knew she would follow this man to the ends of the earth. Even if it meant, they would miss their wedding reception. Who cared? As long as they were together.

Jason didn't know exactly where he was going but he knew that he wanted at least a few minutes alone with her. To enjoy and contemplate the moment before them. They were married. Truly and finally married. And no one was going to take that away from them.

He saw a room down the hall and opened the door. "I can't believe you came here no questions asked."

Carly almost rolled her eyes and muttered: "What are you talking about? You know I trust you completely."

"Yeah, it's the no question's part that surprised me."

This time Carly did roll her eyes and chuckled quietly. "Well, I thought you could use a break from all the pomp and circumstance. And I was very impressed that you made it through the entire ceremony without wanting to bolt." Carly finalized as she caressed lightly the lapel of Jason's tux. He looked so handsome in it. She fell in love with Jason as the bad boy in their story but he cleaned up rather nicely.

"I would never leave you." Jason exclaimed, his heart on his sleeve. It was true. Through thick and thin, he would always save her. He would always find her. He would always protect her. He would always defend her. He would always make her his priority. Even over himself.

Carly looked at Jason astounded. She had never heard Jason talk to her like this. Like a man in love. Granted, throughout all the years they've known each other, there were times that she felt his love hit her differently. But it seemed he would catch himself and go back to his 'friendship' love. The love that could keep them together, without any complications. Now they didn't have to worry about complications. Everything was simple.

"Hearing you say that to me Jase, you have no idea how much it makes my heart sing." Carly admitted.

Jason laughed, truly laughed. When was the last time he had laughed like this? He couldn't remember. "Everything goes back to music with you Carly, doesn't it?"

Carly smiled at his remark acknowledging it and then said: "You know, our wedding was so different from what I expected. I mean even Monica was smiling at me, and my mom was crying, and everyone at the chapel looked so happy for us."

"They're our family and friends Carly. I get it now. All the pomp and circumstance like you called it, I actually don't mind it right now. I will tomorrow. And it will annoy me to be the center of attention but today, I'm just happy that we are celebrating our wedding."

"I didn't think I could be this happy. We have the rest of our life to love one another and to be happy and to be out in the open."

"I meant what I said Carly. I would never leave you. I haven't left you in twenty years, or more, I wouldn't leave you now. Before the reception, I talked to Diane and she said that at the beginning when you came to her with this idea, you were second guessing yourself."

"Well yeah Jase. We both were."

"I wasn't." Jason said, honestly. "I just didn't tell you about it."

"And since when can you keep things from me, huh?" Carly said, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Besides, back in July you seemed ambivalent as well. Don't deny it."

"I won't. I didn't exactly know how I was feeling. But it wasn't nervousness at how things might change between us. It wasn't hesitation at marrying you. I just couldn't tell you, or myself, how happy this would make me until I knew that you were ready to hear it." Jason said, honestly. "We've been here before and it's been…"

"A disaster?" Carly said, shrugging her shoulders, and smiling slightly. "Well, truth be told, we haven't been exactly here before. You and I weren't about to get married. You had never proposed but the fact remains that I wasn't ready. I was still too messed up and in my own head and didn't fully trust your love for me so I did what I did back then, implode and hurt myself the most. You can never know how sorry I was for hurting you."

Jason looked at her and reached his hand out to one of her cheeks. "You made me road kill. I have never denied that. But I always came back. I couldn't let you go. I just had to see you another way. Convince myself that we were better off as friends and the lover's part of our relationship had been great but it was over."

"A part of me has missed you all these years." Carly admitted. "Not as my best friend but as my other half. You will always be my ride or die but being able to hold you, kiss you, lay next to you as of tonight, love you…well I can't wait to start our life…together."

"Together…" Jason whispered as he leaned in to kiss her. He still couldn't believe that he would be able to do that and not feel guilt for wanting to do it. Jason felt her melt into him and he pulled her closer to him. As soon as he was going to deepen the kiss, he heard someone open the door and then heard Josslyn: "Well don't let us interrupt."

Jason and Carly pulled back and briefly touched their foreheads together. With a sigh, Carly got up and smiled at Josslyn and Michael. Jason sighed a bit louder. He didn't know how he would be able to wait until after the reception to be alone with her, in private. He had waited over twenty years though, so what were a few more hours?