Second Chances

Chapter 5

"All your guests are looking for you." Josslyn stated, as she mockingly looked annoyed. "It's time you two lovebirds go and let everyone congratulate you."

Carly smiled at Jason and reached for his hand while turning back to her kids. Lately holding Jason's hand had seemed the most natural thing in the world. Jason gripped it instantly and squeezed lightly. She smiled at both her kids and stated: "We just needed a few minutes alone."

"That makes sense." Michael offered. "And I don't even blame you guys but Maxie is about to lose her mind out there."

"Okay, okay, okay." Jason offered, tugging Carly lightly but stopping as Carly didn't budge from her spot. "Before we head out, I just wanted to let you both know that it meant the world to Jason and me that you both were standing there with us today. I love you both so much." Carly offered, as she hugged them both. "You guys are everything to me and your support and love is greatly appreciated. Being your mom has been one of the greatest gifts of my life."

"We love you mom." Joss and Michael uttered as they hugged her back. Michael added: "And knowing and seeing how happy you are, lets us know that marrying Jason was the absolute right thing to do."

Joss went to Jason and hugged him as well. "I can see how much you love my mom. And while I have loved you since I was a baby, knowing that you will make my mom happy for the rest of her life, makes me love you even more. I didn't know that was possible. But I do." Josslyn uttered, as she hugged Jason.

"I love you too Joss." Jason said, as he hugged her back.

"My turn…" Michael said, as he hugged Jason tightly. "You guys deserve this. Remember that. I don't think I've seen you this happy, in well…ever Jason." Michael said, honestly.

"I am happy Michael. And I meant what I said to you earlier. You remember that. You were the reason why your mom and I started to love one another. You're a big part of why we are here today." Jason said, as he hugged him one more time before letting him go. To this day, Jason knew that he loved Michael like a son. He was his first kid. Biology didn't make you a father, being there for them made you one. And while Sonny had always been there for Michael, and got the privilege to be called dad, Jason always felt that kinship to Michael as well – for being there first and for taking care of him as a baby and for Michael showing him the meaning of unconditional love.

"That's right." Carly said, as she approached them, bringing Joss along with her. "If there is anything that I've hoped I've taught you both is that family is everything and that we do whatever it takes to protect it. But when there is also love involved, that's the icing on the cake. I love you all very much." She said, as she leaned down and kissed Josslyn and Michael both on their cheeks and then turned to Jason and lightly pecked him on the lips. "You ready?" she whispered to him.

"I'm ready." He whispered right back, unable to take his eyes off of her and wanting desperately to kiss her again. But he refrained himself. If he kissed her again, he wasn't sure he'd be able to stop.

"Let's go then." Carly said, as she let Jason lead her out of the room.

They took a few steps in the hallway and Jason stopped once again. He almost never second guessed himself on anything. It seemed only when it came to Carly. He needed to tell her what was about to go down. He couldn't keep it from her. Nothing bad was going to happen. He made sure of it this morning, but she needed to know. Now.

"Jase?" Carly asked, a question on her face, as she lifted her left eyebrow at him. "What's wrong?"

"I have to tell you something."

"Okay." Carly said, serious. She could read Jason like a book and his tone and demeanor did not appear to be festive. Jason had gone from happy and ecstatic to serious and broody. What was going on?

"I got a phone call this morning after you left the hospital from Wu."

"Why do I have the feeling I am not going to like where this is headed."

"She told me that Renault is pulling strings with Buscema to continue to exert power even behind bars. Remember when we talked about trying to find out who was friend and who was an enemy. Well more than an enemy that we can play nice with. It was Buscema, hands down."

"And?" Carly prodded, just needing to know.

"Buscema recruited Novak. They came here with a plan to eliminate you and me after the ceremony."

"Wait, wait, wait." Carly said, flustered. "They put a hit out on us?"

"A car bomb to be more precise."

"No way." Carly said. "Where all our family and friends are present? Are you kidding me?!"

"I know, I know and that's why I didn't tell you. Because I knew you would react like this and I wanted you to enjoy our church wedding without any distractions."

"You still should have told me." Carly insisted. She hated when she was the last to know about things. She had matured and more times than not, try not to interfere in business but that had changed since Sonny had died. She could make decisions. She could be a team player and she could offer valuable insight. And she knew Jason appreciated and respected that. They were partners in the true sense of the word.

"I made a decision Carly. And I'd do it again. I'm telling you now. I wasn't even going to do that but I knew that if I didn't, you would be madder than you are now."

"You can't protect me from things like this. I can help you decide what needs to come next Jason. I'm not an idiot."

"Yes. I can protect you and I will." Jason said, frustrated. "Carly…"

"Okay. Okay. Okay." Carly said, as she grabbed Jason by the face and made him look at her. "I'm sorry…" she said, truly meaning it. "I don't want to fight. I just…I'm shocked and scared and mad and glad you found out. What if you didn't?"

"But I did." Jason said, as he leaned down and kissed her. Carly let him and removed her hands from his face. "It's okay." He whispered, in her ear, as he hugged her. "We're okay."

Carly exhaled out slowly. "Thank God."

"I don't want you to be afraid, okay? I know you're mad but there's a part of you that's also scared. I will do anything for you. Anything to save you. I will never let anyone hurt you. Okay?" Jason repeated. "I need you to know that."

"I do know that, Jason." Carly responded. "I know that. But I…" Carly started and stopped herself. How could she tell him that all she wanted to do for him was to protect him as well? That's all she wanted. For him to be safe too. Because if anything happened to him, she would die. They wouldn't need to kill her, she would be dead, even though she still drew breath.

Jason pulled back from the hug and looked at her. "Finish your thought. Don't leave me wondering. I wanna know…"

Carly nodded her head. "Jason, I know you protect me and defend me but you do know if anything happened to you, I would die, right? I would not know how to live without you. I want to protect you too. I would die for you. I would do anything for you, Jason, I Iove you. I need you to be with me, always."

Jason smiled at her and said: "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here. I love you too. And I want to be with you for the rest of my life. So, you know, I am not going to go get myself killed because I finally have this. You, the kids, our extended family, the business, in that order. Come on…let's just go and thank our guests, then head to the reception. Come on Carly. Please, let this go."

"Okay." Carly said, finally releasing a breath. "You are right. Let's go."

"I love you." Jason told her, as he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her towards the entrance to where their guests were. They had been gone long enough. It was time to rejoin the party.

Carly firmly grasped Jason's hand and winked at him. "I love you too."

After the car bomb, which had happened it seemed about half an hour after their talk, their thanking of the guests and them sitting inside the limo, Carly looked at Jason. "Thank you for telling me. I needed to know before it went down. "What do we do now?"

"We go to our reception."

Carly looked astounded. Was he kidding? How could they go to the reception after they had just witnessed Buscema's limo blow up? How they would have blown up if they had anything to say about it. "As an alibi?"

"No as a party for our family and friends, to celebrate our wedding. Besides, Maxie said there would be music and at least one of us like to dance."

Carly smiled at him and touched his cheek. "Let's go then…"

They arrived at their reception and Carly looked at Jason. "Oh my God, Maxie outdid herself. Look at this Jase." Carly stopped to gaze at their reception venue. She was breathless at how beautiful it had turned out. She had her doubts about their reception being outside but it worked and the weather cooperated and it was just utter perfection.

"It's beautiful." Jason acknowledged and pulled Carly with him as he heard Spinelli, announce them. Their guests were already clapping for them.

They made their entrance and Jason slightly cringed. But not in a bad way. He just didn't like so many pairs of eyes on him at the same time. But he turned to look at Carly and she was glowing and happy and all his doubts and his slightly annoyed attitude erased. He stepped a foot away from her, fixed his tux and saw Carly take a step back as well. He extended his left hand to her and smiled when Carly sauntered towards him and they began a slow dance, foreheads touching, arms going around each other. Both breathing a calm breath to try to slow down the pace of their hearts.

And it's yoooouuuuu….hiding in plain sight

Yes, it's yoooouuuuu…

That sets my world right…

Jason was transfixed by Carly. She was happy, truly happy and that made him love her even more. He touched his forehead to hers again, and inhaled her in, as he heard her whisper: "It's no Jake's…but it'll do."

Yes, it's yooooouuuu…it's always been you.

God, Carly thought to herself, it had always been Jason. As her best friend, as her partner in crime, as her protector, as her bodyguard, as her love. In every facet of her life, Jason had been there and she didn't know what would have happened if she would have allowed herself to feel this a long time ago. She had a feeling that it wouldn't have been good. They were at a great place in their relationship now and thankfully she was no longer that scared and insecure woman of twenty-two or more years ago. She was strong, confident and able to stand on her own. But having Jason as her husband now? Her life was complete. Her life had the meaning it was destined to always have. A meaning she was so petrified of feeling until he allowed her to feel those emotions, when he accepted he had been falling as well.

Jason hadn't dared to dream how wonderful it would be, to be married to Carly. The one person that meant everything to him. He would kill for her. He would die for her. Seeing her smile and joke about it not being Jake's made him feel confident that the wedding present he had in store for her was one that she was going to love. And yes, he probably would go spend time at Jake's with her and dance all night long if she wanted, just to keep that look of sheer love and adoration on her face. The Metro Court was like a second home to them but the newly renovated Jake's would be where they went to unwind after a hard day at work. And why not? He was going to tell Spinelli to make the upstairs a spacious apartment for them to go and spend the night there after they had a few drinks and a few rounds of pool. The beauty would be that they would be able to close the place down and have it be, just for them.

Novak and Buscema had paid dearly for threatening Carly. And that was all the thinking he was going to do on those two traitors for tonight, as long as he had his wife, yes, his wife, in his arms, nothing else mattered. He may not like to dance but to see the happiness in Carly's eyes, he would dance millions of times, just to see her this happy.

Carly looked at him with love in her eyes and said: "Your eyes may be lined with a few more crinkles, your laugh lines may be a bit more pronounced and your forehead may have a few more wrinkles than when I met you. But you are still the most beautiful man I have ever set my eyes on. Hands down, without a doubt."

Jason shook his head at her and twirled her around slowly. "Stop it." Jason said, as he rolled his eyes. Had anyone ever looked at him the way she looked at him?

"What? Am I embarrassing you?" Carly teased.

"I just never see myself as you see me." Jason said, as he held her closer. "I'm not beautiful. I'm just me."

Carly laughed out loud. "You are beautiful…" Carly whispered. "And I am finally lucky to have you be mine. I know I've said that several times today but I think I'm going to have to continue saying it until I truly believe it."

"Believe it." Jason whispered in her ear. "No more fighting anyone. No more doubting my love for you. I am here with you. Married to you. Loving you. Only you."

"We are going to have the best life honey. The best." Carly said. She wasn't used to calling Jason by endearments but she knew that in no time it would be second nature to her. And at this moment, it just seemed right.

As they got into the limo to take them to the presidential suite at the Metro Court, Carly turned to Jason and said: "Michael's speech was a bit over the top where I was concerned. But it's so nice to hear him say that he loves us both."

"He just spoke the truth Carly. What was in his heart and he's right, I am a lucky man to have you as my wife. And the fact that he said all those things about you was why I really liked it."

Carly smiled warmly and reached out her hand to the knee closest to her: "You know Jase…I was thinking that about twenty-two years ago we were sitting at the living room of your old penthouse and you told me that I drove you crazy. Then you kissed me without me prodding you. God, were we ever that young? It seems like a lifetime ago." Carly said, wistfully. "And yet it doesn't. I don't know if that makes sense to you."

"I remember that day like if it were yesterday." Jason said, as he lightly caressed her cheek. "And yeah, I get it. It was a lifetime ago but I can remember that day and that moment as if it were yesterday too. You made me feel so deeply back then and I was afraid of those feelings. What I felt for you was so strong and so different from Robin. I loved Robin. You know that. But what I was starting to feel for you, was entirely different but also important and precious to me. And so much more real, so much more intense and so much more profound. It paralyzed me. Literally. I couldn't capture into words then and I still can't now, but it was love. True and without judgment. And maybe if I'd had assured you more instead of putting it off. Or if I would have held your hand and told you I was in love with you." Jason sighed out loud and closed his eyes. He had thought he had no regrets, but the truth was, there they were. He did have them. He wouldn't change the course of his life but it didn't mean - he was coming to realize - that there would be no regrets. Because there were.

God, he had wanted to tell her exactly this so many times before. So, no time like the present: "I have regrets – so many regrets Carly. I just need you to know that if I would have understood what those feelings were without a doubt, I would never have let you go. I would have told you to move back in right then and there. I would have said yes." Jason said, as his eyes started to get red, unshed tears gleaming back at Carly.

Carly sighed out loud and let the tears that were threatening to fall, just slide down her face, as she closed her eyes. "Back then, me begging for you to admit your feelings and you finally doing it? That meant the world to me Jase. I told you I never meant to drive you crazy but I actually did. And you knew it. I just wanted you to be in love with me. So badly. I would've done anything. Anything for you. I still would. And you have to know Jason, God help me, I never – not a day – stopped loving you. I lied to myself about that. I compartmentalized it. I even said that I was wrong about them. Listen, we both have regrets, baby, and we have to live with the consequences of both of our choices. But now? We get to get it right. We have a second chance. I'm not going to screw this up. I promise you."

A single solitary tear dropped from one of Jason's eyes. "We won't screw this up."

Carly pressed the button for the partition of the privacy window in the limo to go up. As soon as it was up, Carly unhooked her seat belt, got up and went to sit sideways on Jason's lap. She wiped the tear from his face, touched her forehead to his and kissed him lightly. "I'm so sorry for hurting you back then. I know I said it then but I'll say it again. I was in love with you. And I can't be sorry for loving Sonny too because that gave me Morgan and Donna, and the love of so many others. But Jase, hurting you has always been the biggest mistake of my life. And I wanted you to know that."

Jason unhooked his own seatbelt and bolted forward to kiss Carly as he had wanted to kiss her since this morning. It was a kiss full of promise, of pent-up passion, of decades upon decades of holding back his feelings, of longing, of heartache, of loneliness. All of it, he put into that one kiss. Carly's hands went around his neck and she let herself be taken to where Jason was guiding her. Jason was holding on to her as if at any moment she would disappear from his grasp. As if that happened, her disappearing, he would crumble into a million pieces.

And Carly knew what he was feeling and why he was feeling it. Carly was certain she knew exactly what was going through his mind and why he was holding her so tight. She came up for air and grazed her nose against his. "I'm not going anywhere Jase. I'm here. I'm yours. This is real. No one can take this away from us. We're good. We're in love. You get to have me now. Forever."