Joey headed to the Mother In Law suite to check on Sam; things had been a bit weird, but he was happy, very happy too, and that was saying a lot, knocking on the door waited, hoping whoever Sam was today would be okay with them hanging out for a while.

Sam was feeling better. He looked over at Joey when he opened the door. "Hi," he smiled.

Joey was surprised to see a smile on Sam's face. It had been so long since he had seen that. "Sam?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah."

Joey hugged him immediately. "I missed you so much. Thank God you are back."

/Sam returned the hug. He felt better now that |he saw Joey and saw that he was okay. "Yeah," he repeated softly.

Joey wanted to cry, but instead, he just held Sam closer. Finally, pulling away, he smiled. "You look...good. Happy even."

Sam held him for a few moments until he felt Joey pull away. "I'm happy to see you."

"I was worried well, we all were, but I knew you would be back; Cap never stays for that long." He said softly.

He closed his eyes and slowly sat down on the bed. "I'm sorry I'm so fucked up."

"Stop it, we are both messed up, but that is nothing to be sorry for." He had to laugh at that because he was literally just apologizing to Brax.

Sam nodded and fell back on the bed. "I know, I just feel bad."

"Don't. It kinda worked out. Made everyone closer trying to help you." He said, walking further into the room and sitting down. "Where is Mercedes?"

Sam looked up at the ceiling. "I don't know."

Joey nodded. "She was by your side the entire time..." Joey looked down at his hands. "Brax was here too for all of us."

Sam sighed quietly. "I feel so bad."

"Sam, you did nothing wrong."

Sam shrugged. "I know that, but I still feel awful.

"Why?" He asked, leaning forward.

"Because I shouldn't be this way."

"Sam! You were in that place for 10 years; you had to disassociate. And Megan said it was normal.

He sighed. "It doesn't feel normal."

"They didn't want us to feel normal. I was just making out with Brax, and I saw Jericho, heard his voice, and froze...I get not being normal. But that doesn't mean anything bad."

Sam immediately felt bad for Joey. He sighed quietly. "I'm sorry that happened."

Joey sighed. "Does it get easier?"

Sam shrugged. "I can only hope."

"Yeah, I guess the hope isn't a bad thing."

Sam exhaled slowly. "Never a bad thing."

"Can I ask you something?"

Sam sat up to look at him. "Yeah?"

"Do you ever remember anything while you are in those states?"

Sam shook his head. "I lost the time."

"Cap has shown up before, but this time, he was here for a few days, not a few hours. But I can say that Mercedes loves you. I don't think he slept or left your side through any of the changes." he said softly.

Sam frowned. "I... don't know... why she does all this for me."

Joey sighed. "Same reason Brax is here for me. They care about us for some reason. I don't get it either, but they do."

Sam shrugged. "I wish I understood it."

"Maybe love isn't to be understood..."

"Maybe not."

Joey sighed. "How do you know when someone wants you because he likes you or loves you, or do they just pity you?"

Sam shrugged. "I wish I knew."

Joey turned to him. "You think she pities you?"

He nodded. "Look at me."

Joey frowned. "What does that mean?"

"I'm a mess."

"Sam, if Mercedes pities you, then there is no way in hell Brax cares for me." He said sadly.

Sam bit back the tears. "That's... not true."

"Sam, you and I are in the same boat. Mercedes does for you some of what Brax does me. So if she doesn't love you, that says a lot."

Sam felt the tears fall. "I was never like this before."

"What do you mean? When?"

"Before the Elite... I wasn't a mess."

Joey nodded; he closed his eyes. "I don't belong here."

"You belong with me."

He shook his head. "Sam, I am broken too. Maybe we weren't meant to be happy."

Sam patted the bed next to him. "Maybe.. but we can try?"

Joey moved to sit next to him. "I want to be able to be with my boyfriend without hearing Ma- Jericho's voice."

Sam wrapped an arm around Joey. "We can work through that."

"How? It seems helpless..."

He frowned. "I know."

Joey closed his eyes. "I really like him."

Sam nodded. "I'm happy for you two."

"So why aren't you happy for yourself?"

"I... it's different.*

"How? How is it different?"

"Because you're... not me?"

Joey gave a small laugh. "That doesn't make sense."

"I know it doesn't.*

Joey sighed. "So you don't want to be with her?"

"I want to be with her, so bad. But she deserves better."

"Are you going to break up with her?"

"I can't do that to her..."

"But if you can't be with her, then what are you doing?"

"I want to be with her.."

"Then we have to find a way to be with them but also let go, you know?"

Sam nodded in agreement. "This is hard."

"It is. I sometimes wake up thinking I'm back there."

Sam squeezed his shoulder. "Me too..."

Joey sighed. "I just feel like this is a dream."

"Then we're dreaming together."

Joey laughed. "I don't want to wake up. I never knew life could be like this."

Joey's laugh made Sam smile. It was such a nice sound. "It's wonderful, right?"

Joey nodded." It is, when we were at the Elite, I never believed we could have this."

"Me either. I never thought I'd get this back."

"We should do something for Brax and Mercedes."

"We should."

Joey ran his hand through his hair. "But what though cause I can't cook..."

"I can't either," he chuckled sadly.

They sit in silence for a few moments then Joey sits up. "I was talking to Stevie, and he said that you guys used to camp out in the back yard... this yard is huge; what if we did that?"

Sam looked over at him. "That's a good idea."

Joey smiled. "We can have those S'mores and cook like hot dogs or something. Get some tents; it can be fun."

"I think that is a great idea, Joey!"

"You think they will like it?"

He nodded. "I think they will."

Joey stood up and grabbed his phone. "I am gonna see if Stevie can take us to the store. "

"You two are close?" How much had he missed?

He nodded. "He's been really worried about you. Wanted to learn more about you."

"Really?" Sam was a bit shocked at that.

"Yeah... he's a lot like you."

Sam smiled. "I should go talk to him more."

"He would really love that."

Sam smiled. "I'll... do that tonight."

"Good, we can do that while we pick up some things...we have money now, which is unreal. So we can get tents...should we get two or one big one?"

"Whatever you want, Joey."

Joey sighed, "We might need help with this cause I have no idea.."

"I'll go talk to Stevie."

Joey nodded. "Okay, that sounds good."

He hugged Joey again. "Thank you."

Joey smiled, hugging him back. "You are welcome. Thank you too."

Sam held him for another moment before letting go.

Joey let go and smiled. "Your brother is usually in his room right about now."

"Sounds good. You good?"

"Yeah, I am gonna talk to your mom and see if she has any ideas."

Sam nodded and slowly got up to go to Stevie's room.

Stevie had just gotten home from class and wanted to relax, so he took to his room and decided to play Call of Duty.

Sam knocked at the door. "Hey, kiddo, you have a minute?"

Stevie looked up and froze, seeing Sam. "Umm, are you Sam or..."

"Sam," he nodded, his smile fading.

Stevie nodded. "Okay good... how are you feeling?"

"Pretty good, actually... for once."

Stevie pressed pause and turned more towards Sam. "That's really good."

"Can I sit?"

He moved his bag onto the floor. "Yeah, yeah, come on."

Sam sat down on his bed, shifting a bit. "I'm sorry I've been such a mess lately."

He shrugged. "They said that you would have some issues, Sam. I understand."

Sam couldn't look at his brother. He felt awkward, something he never felt around Stevie before the Elite. "I still... want to be here for you."

"Sam, I'm 20, I am not that 9 years old you left... and I get why you did it; it's just gonna take some time."

Sam nodded. "Yeah," he whispered, not sure how to respond to that.

"I am glad you got out, though."

Sam was still fearful they'd come after him, or God forbid Stevie. "Do you... want me to leave?"

Stevie frowned. "Why would I want that?"

"There's this... tension in the air. Or is that just me?"

His shoulders slumped. "Okay, maybe I feel some kinda way...but I don't..." He closed his eye. "You went there to save Stacey and stayed there to save me; what am I supposed to say to that?"

Sam looked at him. "You don't have to say anything."

"I owe you my life...how am I supposed to repay that?"

"You don't have to repay me... I did it by choice."

"We thought you were dead...when Mercedes called and said you were alive, mom cried for days..."

Sam looked down. "I wish it didn't... have to be that way."

"We are just glad you are here."

"I'm happy to be here... to be back with you guys."

Stevie looked back at Sam. "Did you...did you really miss me like Joey said?"

Sam nodded. "I thought about you all the time. Wondered how you were doing in school, if you had any girlfriends... or boyfriends... or whatever."

Stevie smiled. "Do you really wanna know?"

Sam nodded. "I wanna know everything."

"Okay, well, I am into girls, and I have a girlfriend. I am undecided in school right now."

Sam smiled. "You're happy?"

"I am, even more now that you are here. Mom and dad aren't struggling; school is paid for. It's been a blessed few weeks."

Sam's smile only grew. "Glad to hear it."

"Are you happy?"

Sam hesitated. "Most of the time," he replied. "I still... can't escape it sometimes."

"I can't imagine how bad it was for you...I am sorry you went through that."

"Please," he begged. "Don't apologize or feel bad for all that."

Stevie smiled. "Okay, then came we talk about you and Mercedes? How did that happen?"

"I don't even know," he chuckled, forcing it out. "She found me... she saved me."

Stevie laughed. "Talk about luck, huh? And Joey, how were you guys introduced?"

"He... he was brought in about a year ago, and I... I needed to protect him as much as I could."

"You gotta stop risking your life for others. Can you not do that anymore?" He asked softly. "I don't want to lose you again."

Sam nodded. "I won't," he replied. "Family first." It was always family first.

Stevie reached over and hugged him. "I know you are 29 and a grown man and stuff, but I think it's cool we all live here right now."

Sam chuckled as he hugged his little brother (his little brother, he was now a man as well). "It is pretty cool," he smiled. Sam knew he couldn't live on his own.

"Isn't it? Did you know that Mercedes and Brax basically hooked us up here?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah. I still can't believe... this is all ours."

"Yeah, and Stace and I have our own cars." He said, smiling. "We even have money to spend; we never had that before without working."

Sam didn't know how far all of that went. He looked at his brother. "That's crazy."

"It seems really weird, you know? But in a great way. And that's not all of it."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Mercedes paid off the house, the cars. They set up accounts for all of us, including you. and Joey. It was a lot of legal things, but it all worked out, you know?"

Sam felt tears welling up in his eyes. "Really? That... that's a lot."

"That's what mom told her. And mom insisted on working, so Mercedes hired her and dad to work at their law firm. Dad is over the Janitorial Staff cause you know he has experience. And mom is a file clerk."

Sam wiped at his eyes. "I didn't...know that."

"She loves you, and she wanted to make sure we were taken care of in case..." He trailed back; he didn't think bringing up her going to the Elite for Sam was a good idea.

Sam took a deep breath. "She's wonderful, isn't she?"

Stevie nodded. "Yep, she is. You are lucky Sam, I hope one day I get that."

Sam felt his hands begin to tremble. "Yeah."

Stevie frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he offered, forcing a small smile. "Just my brain being rude."

"Tell me what it's saying."

"That I... don't deserve all this."

Stevie took his hand. "Sam, you more than most deserve everything."

"And part of me understands that," he managed. "But their voices... they're still in there."

"You know what I think; I think it's like you told me back in third grade when those kids were making fun of my clothes. You gotta tune out the bad because when you don't, they win."

Sam exhaled for a few moments before nodding. "Easier said than done."

"That's what I told you." he laughed. "But when the voices come, try to focus on something or someone who makes you happy."

Sam offered him a smile. "So Mercy or Joey or you..."

Stevie smiled. "Yes, exactly."

"So you and Joey... you're getting along?"

He nodded. "We are; he's a good guy."

sam smiled. "He really is."

"I uh...if you would rather hang with him than me, I understand."

He shook his head. "No, not at all... I just worry that I'm... intruding or something."

"Intruding? Sam, I want you in my life. "

"I... I've just been gone for so long..."

Stevie shrugged. "So? Does that mean we can't be brothers?"

"What? No!"

"Then time doesn't matter..."

Sam sighed quietly. "You're right."

"I want to know you now...but only if you want."

"Of course!" Sam insisted. "I just didn't want to invade your... time..."

"Sam, you're my brother; I want you in my life."

"Even with how... fucked up I am?"

Stevie shook his head. "You keep looking at yourself like this fucked up human, and you don't even realize that we are all fucked up in some way or another."

Damn. When did his little brother get so deep? "You're not. you're normal."

"Normal? Sam, you, my older brother, was basically sold into a sex cult to save my twin from dying and save me from being sold into that same cult."

Sam sighed. "But you're... normal."

Stevie laughed. "I am normal because that's what I want people to see; you gotta fake it until you make it, man."

"I've been trying but... suck at it."

"You just started Sam, it takes time."

Sam fell back on Stevie's bed and sighed. "I'm sure it does."

Stevie ran his hand through his hair. "You know, talking about things really do help."

"Do they?" he asked. He couldn't remember the last time he spoke to his therapist."

"It does; Stacey and I didn't like being sent to the doctor, so we started talking to each other, and it helped."

"The doctor?"

"Counselor, I guess. After her chemo, mom and dad thought we needed to talk."

"Oh. Yeah. I'm... I'm glad she's okay."

"Me too, it was scary, we didn't have you; Stacey was sick. We were young and didn't understand."

Sam did what he had to do to save his sister. There was no way she would have survived without him doing what he did. "Yeah."

"Yeah, but mom and dad eventually explained what you did. My brave and strong big brother. I always wished I could be like you."

Sam continued to stare at the ceiling. "I'm glad you're not... that you've grown up to an amazing person."

"To be honest, I went through a phase of being a jerk, but It was only for like a month or so, and I made up for it.

"You made up for it?"

"Volunteered." He said, laughing. "I was so angry, so I channeled that into helping other kids who went through what Stace did."

Sam smiled. "That's good to hear. Maybe we could volunteer together... when I stabilize a bit?"

Stevie nodded. "I would like that a lot."

"I d-don't know when I'll b-be able to work.

"Is that one of the things you are worried about?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm... I'm not sure if I can."

Stevie laid back on the bed. "And being a kept man isn't something you want?" That was probably the wrong wording to use.

Sam tensed and fell silent.

"I think you just need to find yourself again before you think about working anyways. See if you want to go to school or if you won't work with your hands."

"I'm not smart enough for school, Stevie."

"Says who?" He said, looking at him.

"Everyone."

"Nobody in this house says that."

Sam kept his eyes closed. "You're biased."

"I think you are the biased one. You have been told you were dumb for so long, and you believe it and think everyone else who says you are smart is wrong."

Sam sighed. "I've been told a lot of things I'm struggling not to believe."

"So why not do something easy. Like if you were told not to eat pizza, and then you eat pizza. Something like that?"

Sam smiled. "Pizza sounds good."

"See, you are already talking like a new man. Maybe we can go get some lunch."

"I'd like that."

"Me too; maybe we can make it a weekly thing or something."

"That would be fun. Just bro time."

Stevie smiled. "Yeah, Bro, time. I would really love that Sam, really. "

Sam sat up and looked over at his brother. "Good."

"I can change, and we can head out."

"Okay... I should change too."

Stevie smiled, hugging Sam. "Awesome."

Sam hugged him tightly, holding him for a few moments.

Stevie held him back. "I love you, Sammy."

"I love you too, kiddo."

Mercedes sat on the bed, glasses ongoing over the files Brax asked her to check into. She wasn't ready to leave the house, afraid she would see River, but she could work from home. When she came into the room and found out Sam was talking to his brother, she was really happy about that. He really was trying to let go, and she was proud of him for that.

Sam came into the room, smiling when he saw Mercedes. "Hey..."

She glanced up at him and pushed up her glasses. "Hey, Sam."

He sat down next to her. "I think... I think I'm g-going out for pizza with Stevie." He sounded nervous.

Mercedes smiled at that. "Really? That's amazing. I am sure you guys are going to have fun."

"I'm... I'm scared of going out there."

Mercedes put her computer to the side and removed her glasses. She leaned into him and put her head on his shoulder as she linked hands with him. "Talk to me, tell me your fear?"

"That people are gonna stare... that I'm gonna snap... that something bad's gonna happen."

She pulled her hair from the messy bun and put the band on his wrist. "Snap this when you get overwhelmed...I have been looking up ways to deal with anxiety, and they say this helps. It grounds you. Going out is scary; I am still scared, but I know I have to get back to work eventually." She turned his face to hers. "Stevie is going to be so happy that you are doing this. And I know this is something you need too,"

Sam looked down at the hair tie on his wrist. "I know I need this, Merce. But I'm scared."

"Baby, I know, but you are also the bravest man I know."

Sam bit his lip but slowly nodded. "I'll keep reminding myself of that."

She leaned in and kissed him. "I am so proud of you."

Sam smiled. "Don't be proud until I make it back."

She laughed. "Well, you make it back, and I will be proud of you and give you any reward you want."

"Any reward?" he smiled.

She nodded. "Yes, any reward you want, be it food or kisses, anything you want at all."

"You know I love food."

She laughed. "Yes, I do."

"I'm gonna gain that weight back and then some."

"You will still be sexy to me."

"I... I think I like not having to... focus on that."

"Focus on what?"

"Being so... physically perfect."

Mercedes nodded. "Good, because you were intimidating... like really."

"Was I?" he asked, a bit confused.

She shook her head. "It's intimidating to have a man who is so sexy and psychically fit."

"Well, I don't. I don't have to be..."

She shook her head. "Sam, all I want is for you to be happy in your skin. However, that might look."

"I'm... I'm not sure what that is."

"I guess it's great that you have the time to figure it out."

He nodded. "I have a lot to work on."

"And I will be by your side every step of the way. I know I have been a bit of a mess, and I still am, but I want to be better for you."

"We both will help each other..." he murmured.

She bit her bottom lip. "Kiss on it?"

He nodded and kissed her gently.

"Now go have fun with your little brother."

He smiled and nodded, getting dressed and going to find Stevie.