Songs that inspired this chapter:
Stay by Rex Goudie and Safe Place to Hide by Melissa O'Neil
Emily woke up in the middle of the night covered in sweat and screaming.
"Em," Lee said, pulling her up by her shoulders. "Em, you're okay."
"Get off, get off!" she shrieked, seeing Scott. He let her go and moved back, and she sat there shaking with fear until he turned the lamp on to reveal where she was and who was on the couch with her. She closed her eyes briefly and swallowed. Her heart was pounding.
Lee got up and returned a moment later with a glass of water. She took it without a word, and he sat back on the opposite end of the couch and looked at her full of concern.
"Thank you," she said after drinking half of the glass. She set it on the table by the couch and pressed her fingers into her scalp.
"I'm here," he said softly, making her look at him.
"I'm okay."
He looked like he didn't believe her, and she knew she was lying. She gave a weak smile before looking at her sliding door window where the rest of the world was moving on like nothing had happened.
"A lot of people have been fooled by people like Scott," Lee offered after a while. "Psychopaths and sociopaths are smart. Don't beat yourself up for not seeing it."
"There were some signs," she whispered. She hugged herself tightly then, remembering some.
"What did he do to you, Em?"
"Just different things he said," she answered. "And he threw me around a little in our last exchange, but it wasn't enough to scare me. It really should have." She found it hard to believe she was telling Lee, of all people, this. She watched him grind his jaw as he listened. She knew it was upsetting him, but she knew he could handle it. She didn't know how she knew this. Her mind played the tape again of it all, and she wished she hadn't been an idiot and ended things with him right after that. "He was going to kill me, Lee. I could see it in his eyes, and he wasn't letting go even with me trying to get him to stop."
"Oh, Em," he said finally, his voice sounding sad. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I met him at a bar and brought him home. What did I expect?"
"Don't do that."
"It's done and over with now," she said, a bit gruffer than expected. "Lesson learned." He shifted so that he was closer to her, and he reached to take her hand in his. She let him.
"Please be kind to yourself," he said simply, and that statement made her start to cry again. She was always so hard on herself. It was something she'd always done. She didn't understand it.
He pulled her into him, and she sat on his lap and curled against his chest. His heart beating against her ear was the most comforting sound she'd ever heard. She noticed it was beating a little fast, though. His fingers stroked her hair gently and slowly, over and over. She slowly stopped crying and just stayed there against him. Then she thought of something.
"Can you teach me how to defend myself?" she asked.
"I can."
"Thank you."
She started to fall asleep again. She missed hearing what Lee said next:
"I'd do anything for you."
...
Lee woke up in Emily's bed on his right side with Emily still in his arms on her left side. She was tucked against him, still asleep. He vaguely remembered carrying her there after she'd fallen asleep again. She'd gripped him tightly with her hands when he'd tried to leave, so he'd stayed.
It was the stupidest thing he'd ever done.
Watching her sleep now, he knew this was not good. He was marrying Lacy. He shouldn't be doing this. Yes, he was her friend, but did friend's spend the night together like this? He certainly had never cuddled up to Barney overnight like this, not without it being minus 30 on a job and they needed to stay warm, and even then, they were back to back not face to face.
He had to get out of there before she woke up.
He eased himself away from her, successfully freeing himself and sliding out of bed. She was still sleeping when he left the bedroom. He went to start coffee and find something to make her to eat. He was going to keep his sleeping in her bed with her a secret. If she didn't remember, he wasn't about to tell her.
Fifteen minutes later, Emily shuffled out to the kitchen.
"Mmm, coffee," she said, getting a mug and pouring some into it. "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
She sat down across from him and stirred in some sugar. She sipped and met his eyes. He couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful she looked with bed head and no make up.
Lacy. Think about Lacy...
"Was the couch okay?" she asked. "Not too hard on your back?"
She didn't remember, or if she did, she was waiting to see if he'd own up to what they'd done. He hesitated, but in the end, he went with his gut.
"It was just fine," he answered. "Thanks."
She nodded slowly. Then she reached for the pad of paper on the table and pulled it towards her.
"I had some ideas for the Dawson wedding," she said, clicking open her pen. Lee knew she was signaling that she was done talking about Scott and sure as hell wasn't going to talk about their situation. He knew she was right.
"Lay it on me," he replied, resting his elbows on the table and watching her write. They were friends. That was all.
He was good with that.
Days Later
Emily was packing up and getting ready to leave while Lee texted on his phone with a frown on his face.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Lacy's working late again," he answered.
"Oh."
"Looks like I'm free tonight," he sighed, setting his phone on the table with a clatter. He looked at her now. She knew he was feeling frustrated because Lacy had been gone for a whole weekend and then still spent time at work in the evenings when she'd returned. "You still wanna know how to defend yourself?"
"Yea, but where are you going to do it?"
"If we move the table in the boardroom, we can do it there."
"Seriously?"
"Yea."
"On the hardwood floor?"
"Is your tushy made of glass?" he asked, eyes twinkling. She blushed.
"No," she answered hotly.
"Then it'll do just fine."
She didn't say anything else as he went out of the office and down the hall. She caught Jane watching, intrigued, as he went into the boardroom and started dragging the table up against the wall.
"What's going on?" Jane asked, looking at Emily now.
"Oh, he's making room so he can teach me self-defense."
"Mm!" Jane exclaimed around the straw of her water bottle as she sipped. Then she swallowed. "I'm in!"
"Oh, um..."
"What are we doing?" Andy asked, joining them.
"Self-defense class," Jane answered. Emily gave up trying to say it wasn't a group session. It would make it less awkward than it just being her and Lee, which she realized would be a good thing.
"Did someone say kicking ass lessons are happening?" Nigel asked, poking his head out of his office.
"More like preventing our asses getting kicked," Jane corrected.
"Pfft. I'm sure he can show us how to land a few blows," Nigel said. Lee came out of the boardroom then, and he looked around at all the faces looking at him.
"Sorry," Emily said to him. Alison had gone home, so she was missing out apparently.
"Whatever," Lee said with a shrug. "Come on." He went back inside, and they filed in one by one after him. Emily stood off to the side and hoped to just observe. That wasn't the case, though. She protested a little as Lee took hold of her arm and pulled her to the middle of the room with him.
"Do you wanna learn or not?" he asked her.
"Yes, but I don't want to be the prop," she complained.
"You get to hit me," he said, and she surveyed him carefully. That was a little appealing. There were lots of times he'd been annoying that she could get even for.
"Okay," she agreed. He stepped back and kept his arms at his sides. She waited.
"Take your best shot," he told her. She raised a brow.
"Seriously? You don't even have your hands up." She felt confused as he smiled.
"You don't always know when you're gonna get hit," he said, giving Jane an obvious look. She went red in the face.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I really thought...nevermind." She stopped talking once she caught Emily looking at her. Emily was confused. What was she referring to?
"Come on," Lee encouraged her, making her look at him again. She took a few steps towards him and went to land a punch.
And got twisted and pushed past him like she weighed nothing. She caught herself before she fell, feeling startled. She turned to look at him, and he was smirking.
"Ohhh, I saw what you did!" Andy said, waving her hand. "You totally sidestepped before giving her a twist and shove!"
"Did you pay attention to what my feet were doing?" Lee asked.
"Yea, one was turned like this," Jane said, demonstrating.
"Makes for an easier escape," Lee explained. "Em, try again."
"What do I get when I do actually hit you?" she asked him.
"Drinks on me," he answered.
"Sweet," she said, smiling.
"You didn't ask what you get if you don't hit me," he said, eyes twinkling. She felt the flutter inside as her mind went to a certain scenario. She blinked, bringing herself back to the room. Where the hell had that come from?
"What?" she asked, hoping no one noticed. He moved a little closer, and she wondered what he was doing when he stopped a foot away from her.
"You get to take home a kitten," he answered.
"Yes! I knew it!" Jane exclaimed, laughing. Andy clapped her hands together and laughed too. Nigel was chuckling.
"I'm not agreeing to that," Emily said. "You all are my witnesses." She turned to the others, who all looked up at the ceiling or down at the floor.
"Come on," Lee egged her on, and she lunged at him again. She yelped as he managed to get her on the floor and unable to move. This kept happening, and Emily felt her heart sink as she continued to fail to hit him. She was learning a lot though, as were the others. Lee eventually traded her in as a prop for the others one by one. Emily did her best to not think about his hands on her waist or other parts of her body as he moved her in slow motion to show the others what he was doing.
Soapy watched from the doorway, her tail swishing back and forth on the floor. Emily didn't really want a kitten, but Soapy was growing on her the longer she was around. Maybe it wouldn't be so terrible.
"Alright," Lee said after almost two hours. "That's good for today."
"This was awesome," Jane said, high fiving Andy. "Kevin's not gonna know what hit him tonight. Literally."
"Keep practising," Lee encouraged. "We'll reconvene next week." Emily stayed to help him put the table back once the others left. She picked up her bag as he dusted off his hands and threw his coat on.
"Thank you," she said to him as they stood in the doorway. He'd shut off the light to the boardroom, so the light from the main entrance was the only one on, illuminating their faces. It felt startlingly intimate.
"You're welcome."
Emily ducked her head and stepped away from him, trying to tame her thoughts. They said goodnight outside, and she got into a cab to go home. After a few minutes, though, a smile crept across her face.
Three Weeks Later
November 2012
"Got it," Lee was saying, holding up a piece of paper. "Reverend Hoffs. Shall I call him?"
"Please," Emily answered without looking at him. They were in a rhythm now with planning the Dawson wedding. They had less than a month to go, and things were going smoothly. They'd been incredibly lucky to find a minister willing to perform a marriage ceremony so quickly and around Christmastime. It was all going so smoothly that Emily held her breath for something that was bound to go wrong.
It wasn't necessarily to do with the wedding either.
Another wave of nausea passed through her, and she gave a slight burp. She'd been trying to hide it all morning, but it was getting harder to do.
"You okay?" Lee asked, looking at her.
"Mmhmm," she replied, flicking her eyes up at him briefly. He looked concerned. She wondered if he knew. Their friendship had grown a bit deeper since he spent the night at her apartment after the whole Scott fiasco and bared his soul to her about Lacy while she shared what Scott had done to her, not to mention the way he'd held her for the rest of the night afterwards. She'd felt safe with him there and let him stay. She knew he'd stayed the night next to her in bed, but it was a silent agreement between them that they would deny it happened. Something about it made her feel closer to him, though, but not in a bad way.
She still had nightmares about Scott trying to kill her. She was contemplating speaking to a therapist about it, but she wasn't quite there yet. She was handling it on her own, not to mention the fact Lee had been teaching her self-defense once a week ever since. Nigel, Jane, and Andy still actively attended, which made him joke about setting a fee and starting an actual class. Emily thought he should. He was good at it, very patient, and he gave a shit about them. He was a natural teacher.
She still hadn't hit him yet, and she knew he would make her keep her end of the deal and take home a kitten. He was already telling her names she could call it.
"If you're sick, I can cover," he offered.
"I'm fine."
She knew she wasn't sick. Sometimes she got nauseous randomly, but she'd done the math. It was too close. She just hadn't been brave enough to take a pregnancy test yet. The idea of having Scott's baby was terrifying and repulsive, which then made her feel terrible and guilty because it wasn't the baby's fault. At least Scott had left her alone. She'd been worried he would try to see her or attack her again, but he hadn't. She was grateful to Lee and Nigel for that. Now, she just had to figure out what the hell she was going to do.
"Em," Lee said, his tone making her look at him.
"What?" Oh God, it was there on his face. He was putting two and two together. His eyes flicked down to her hidden midsection behind the desk briefly before going back to her face.
"Are you...?" he started.
"CRISIS!" Andy bellowed, bursting into the office just then and making them both jump.
"What's going on?" Emily asked, alarmed.
"A crisis, that's what!" Andy shouted. "Oh, God. I'm screwed!"
"Just breathe," Lee instructed. "What's happened?"
"I don't know. I just...it just...arrgghh! Team meeting!" Andy yelled, leaving the room and hollering "team meeting!" down the hall as she went. Lee raised a brow at Emily, who rolled her eyes. Andy could be a little dramatic at times, but it had taken his attention off of her for now, and Emily was grateful for that.
"Let's go find out what's wrong," she said, getting up and heading for the hallway. Lee caught her by the elbow before she got there, though.
"Em, are you pregnant?" he asked. She inhaled sharply. Clearly he wasn't letting it go.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"So you are."
"I...I don't know," she admitted. She bit her lip as she looked at him. A bunch of different emotions went across his face in that moment. He cleared his throat eventually.
"You haven't taken a...?" he trailed off. Was it really that embarrassing to say "pregnancy test" out loud? Apparently it was.
"No," she answered. "Not yet."
"Maybe you should."
"I really just don't..."
"TEAM MEETING!" Andy shrieked again at them as she stuck her head in the doorway.
"Later," Lee said to Emily, who gave a reluctant nod. They followed the distraught Andy to the board room. Nigel was looking annoyed while Jane looked exhausted. Emily stood near the back, hoping no one would notice her. Lee stood with his feet apart and arms crossed, military style like always.
"Do you mind sharing what's got you running around shrieking like a banshee?" Nigel asked Andrea. Jane coughed on a snort, and even Emily had to bite her cheeks a little to stop from smiling. Andy put her hands on her hips and glared at them all.
"My computer deleted the entire Godfrey wedding file," she said. This had Nigel's full attention, and even Jane and Emily were stunned.
"What?" Nigel asked, his voice a bit dangerously low. Andy was wringing her hands.
"I have no idea how it happened. One minute I'm clicking through it, and the next, it's gone," she said.
"It has to be somewhere," Nigel insisted.
"It's not," Andy whispered.
"You checked?"
"So many times. It's gone."
"Oh boy," Nigel huffed, pressing a hand to his head and looking a bit sick. "Okay. Well, do you have any handwritten notes?"
"Some, but not everything."
"And you made fun of me for my day planner," Jane commented. Emily agreed but also thought Jane's overstuffed, bible sized day planner was a bit much.
"When's the wedding?" Nigel asked.
"Two months."
"Shit. Okay. Get an IT guy here and find that bloody file," Nigel ordered. Andy nodded rapidly, tears forming in her eyes.
"I'm so sorry," she said. "I have no idea what happened..."
"But it's happened, and we can't change it, so just get moving and get it back," Nigel instructed. She nodded again and rushed back to her office. Nigel released a heavy sigh once she was gone. Then he looked at the others.
"Let that be a lesson to you to have a copy backed up somewhere," he said.
"Definitely," Emily agreed. He left, and Jane gave Emily a raised brow look before leaving too. It left her alone with Lee again, and she knew he wasn't done talking about her potentially being pregnant.
"Em," he said on cue.
"Not here," she ordered, shutting him down. "Just...let me focus on work for a bit, okay?"
"Okay."
She turned and left him standing there. Her stomach was rolling again, and she just wanted to sleep. She went to the bathroom and locked the door, turning to press a hand into her face as she started to cry.
...
Lee felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. Emily was possibly pregnant with a psychopath's baby. This was not good. He'd hung around outside of Scott's apartment to make sure he kept his word, and Scott had appeared to have packed up and left two days after the altercation. Lee felt relieved because he really didn't want to go to jail for life over killing him with his bare hands.
He tried to focus on something else, but it was hard. Things with Lacy were okay. She'd returned from her weekend trip ecstatic over the whole thing and how she was progressing in her career. She'd gone to some sort of benefit, which Lee had been slightly jealous to see her all dolled up to spend time with people she worked with. At least he'd gotten some benefits himself when she returned home in that dress. She still worked late a lot, which bugged him, but he had to let it go for now.
Things were going okay, and he would take it. After telling Emily he wasn't sure if he loved Lacy and that she'd cheated on top of his spending the weekend with her and holding her all night, their friendship had seemed to grow. She hadn't judged, and she was a bit more open with him too. She still hadn't told him why she didn't believe in love, which he hoped one day she'd be brave enough to tell him.
For now, he knew what he was going to do for her. It was for her own good.
...
Barney's ears perked when he heard Gunner answer his phone and greet Lee. Why was Lee calling him? It was rather odd. He lowered the paper he was reading in order to listen.
"Um, First Response is usually the best," Gunner was saying.
First Response? What the hell? Then his blood ran cold. Was Lacy pregnant? Oh no. Oh no, no, no. Lee would never leave if she was. Barney sat up straight and stared at Gunner, who was oblivious. Of course Lee would call him. Gunner's last girlfriend had a scare, and he'd talked all about it. He knew what test she had taken that had been the better one for accuracy.
"Yea," Gunner said. "That's the one. Is Lacy...?" Lee's loud voice interrupting told him to shut up and mind his own business. Then he hung up on him. Gunner held the phone in front of him, staring at it.
"What's going on, Gunner?" Barney asked.
"I have no idea," Gunner answered, sounding confused. Barney felt sick to his stomach. If Lacy was pregnant...
No, he couldn't go there. He was tempted to call Lee himself and demand and answer, but he stopped himself. He didn't want to piss him off further just yet. He'd wait a bit.
The wait was killing him, though.
...
Andy was distraught. She couldn't believe she'd lost the Godfrey file. How stupid was she? She still didn't even know how it had happened. Had she accidentally clicked something? She must have. One minute it was there and the next it was gone. All her hard work...vanished.
"Andy?" Jane asked, knocking on her door. She lifted her head from her hands and looked at her miserably.
"Yea?"
"It's alright."
"No, it's not. If I can't get it back..."
"You will get it back," Jane interrupted firmly. "I have faith. IT guys are really good at their job."
"I hope so."
"I know so." Jane smiled. "Come on, let's get you some lunch."
"I'm not hungry..."
"Coffee then. Let's go. You can't sit there and wallow all day. It's not healthy." Jane snapped her fingers and gestured for her to get up, so she obliged. Nigel met them in the hallway.
"Kyle's coming to see if he can retrieve it," Nigel told her. "He owes me one."
"Okay. I'm so sorry," Andy started, but Nigel held up his hand.
"Enough. Shit happens. It'll get sorted or it won't. You're far enough advanced in the planning that you've got things booked, right?"
"Yes..."
"Then you'll be fine."
Andy hoped so. She tried to feel better as she left with Jane, but it was proving hard to do. She didn't like being a screw up, and even though no one was calling her that, her own brain wouldn't stop. It was things like this that made her feel like a gigantic screw up at life. She felt Jane squeeze her shoulder comfortingly when they reached her car, and she tried to smile. It was all she could do really.
The Next Day
Emily was yawning as she looked through the peephole in her door. She groaned after seeing Lee standing there.
"Come on," he said. "Open up."
She reluctantly did so, and he thrust a paper bag into her hands.
"What is that?" she asked, nearly dropping it.
"Have you peed yet?" he questioned. She felt flustered suddenly.
"How is that any of your business?" she demanded.
"Have you?"
"Lee!"
"Just answer the question," he ordered.
"No..."
"Good. It's best to be taken in the morning," he said, gesturing to the bag. "Better results." She gaped at him. Had he...? Was there a...? No. She opened the bag and saw the pregnancy test glaring back up at her.
"You have got to be kidding me," she said, looking back at him.
"You need to know," he insisted. "So go find out."
"No!"
Without a word, he picked her up, making her yelp, and threw her over his shoulder, marching down to her bathroom.
"Lee!" she shouted, banging on his back with her fist to no avail. He was extremely muscular. She hadn't quite realized how much. She doubted he even felt her pelting him. He set her down in her bathroom and moved to shut her in there.
"Don't make me supervise," he warned as she protested.
"Oh my God, you're hideous!" she shouted as he shut the door hard behind her. She growled in frustration, but she knew he was right. She needed to know. After glaring at the door where she knew he was standing on the other side, she opened the box with shaking hands.
She was sitting on the floor of the bathroom a few moments later when he spoke.
"What's it saying?"
"I don't know," she answered.
"You decent?"
"Yes," she sighed. He opened the door and saw her sitting there, legs pulled to her chest. The test was on the counter above her head. She couldn't bring herself to look at it. It would change everything if she was pregnant. She met his eyes, and he looked worried for her.
"You want me to?" he asked. She nodded, unable to form words. He pressed his lips together for a moment before stepping towards the counter and picking up the test. She could barely breathe as she watched his face, looking for some sign of what he was going to tell her.
"Lee," she gasped after a moment.
"It's negative," he said at the same time, looking at her. The words took a second to hit her, and she let a relieved sob escape as she pressed her hands to her face and tipped her head to lean against the vanity.
"You're sure?" she asked. He handed it to her, and she looked for herself. She'd never been so happy in her life. Then she grew scared. "What if it's a false negative?" She knew sometimes she got nauseous depending on what she ate, but this close to her supposed cycle was making her nervous.
"Then take another one."
She thought she might. She needed to be 100% sure.
"Thank you," she said. He offered a hand, and she took it, letting him pull her to her feet. She hugged him instinctively, and he hugged her back. The relief flowing through her was immense.
"You didn't tell anyone about this did you?" she asked when she pulled back from him.
"No."
"You're sure?"
"Yes."
"Good." The last thing she needed was everyone freaking out about it. She exhaled loudly and ran a hand through her hair. Then she realized she was in pajama pants and a short waisted tank top. Standing in her bathroom. With disastrous hair.
"Out!" she exclaimed. "Get out!"
"There she is," he said, laughing as she pushed him to the front door. "Em's back." She was mortified. Nobody saw her like this. Nobody. Even the last time he'd been there overnight, she'd made her hair look carefully slept in, enough to make it look like bed head. It was controlled bed head. This was...she didn't even have a name for it.
"You tell anyone and you die," she warned him.
"Got it." He aimed his phone at her, and she didn't even have time to react before he snapped her photo.
"LEE HENDRICKS!" she bellowed. "You delete that right now!"
"Absolutely not," he said, holding it up in the air as she tried to jump for it. He laughed when she tried to climb him.
"You can't have that," she whined. "Delete it. Right now!"
"It's you, Em," he insisted. "El Naturale." They were at a stand off, and she knew she couldn't take him no matter how many self defense lessons he'd given her. She wanted to smack that smirk off his face, though.
"If I find that on the internet anywhere, you will die a very painful, slow death," she threatened.
"My records only," he vowed. "I swear."
"Why do you even need it?!"
"All friends have an embarrassing photo or two of their bestie," he answered logically. "You never know when you might need blackmail."
"I hate you."
"No, you don't."
She shoved him out into the hallway and went to slam the door when he caught it, taking her by surprise.
"Seriously, Em, I'm glad you're okay," he said. He was standing so close to her, and she could smell his cologne or whatever he had sprayed himself with and felt a bit dizzy.
"Me too," she said back. "Now get the hell out of here."
"See you at work!" he called over his shoulder. She shut the door and fell against it, heaving a sigh and growling in annoyance at the same time. He was so infuriating at times. Her phone dinged, and she looked at it expecting it to be Lee sending her the horrible photo he'd just taken of her, but it wasn't.
It was her sister.
...
Lacy was biting her nail. She had no idea how she was going to tell Lee that she had to go away for another work trip on Thanksgiving. He'd already mentioned a few times that they barely saw each other, and she knew he'd only take so much before getting angry at her. Judith was muttering to herself as she pounded on the keyboard. Lacy wasn't sure what happened, but knowing Miranda, it was something bad. Lacy had been in her good books lately, thankfully, but she knew it wouldn't last forever.
She saw Hutch walk by in her peripheral vision. He'd been giving her the cold shoulder since she'd broken off their affair two weeks ago. Apparently, he did not take rejection very well. She'd hated herself for the amount of time she'd spent with him on her trip to Los Angeles.
"Damn it," Judith muttered, flipping through her files loudly. Lacy held her tongue. The last time she'd offered to help, she'd gotten her head bitten off. She was still learning about what made Judith tick, but some things she didn't forget. She felt her phone vibrate and looked at it.
Happy Almost Turkey Eating Day.
She bit down her giggles. Lee was always sending her cutesy stuff like this, and it made her smile. It also made her feel guilty as hell. She felt bad now, knowing she was going to jam another knife into their relationship because of work.
Ur cute, she wrote back. She knew it was better to break the news to him in person rather than over text.
Glad you think so. See you tonight?
Unless things go terribly awry, yes.
Okay. Love you.
ILY.
She stared at the words. Lately, she found herself struggling to say it back to him and put it in short form. She knew why.
"Lacy," Judith said impatiently, bursting into Lacy's thoughts.
"Yea?"
"Get Patrick."
"You got it."
And the rest of the day was a blur.
...
Barney and Tool watched as Caesar heaved the biggest turkey they'd ever seen and thumped it on the table with enough force that the window rattled a little.
"Watcha got there?" Tool asked a little playfully.
"Dinner for tomorrow," Caesar answered.
"Isn't it a little...I dunno...frozen?" Barney pointed out.
"Nothing a blow torch can't fix."
"I love me some Blow Torch Turkey," Tool commented, making Barney snort with laughter.
"Blow Torch Turkey?" Gunner asked, appearing with Toll. "I'm in!"
"No, no, no, no," Caesar said, holding up a hand. "This is my baby, my project. Go make something else."
"Dibs on corn on the cob!" Toll hollered, grinning.
"Damn it," Gunner groaned, glancing at Tool and Barney.
"Don't look at me," Barney said. "I called potatoes a week ago. You gotta get in on this quicker if you don't wanna get stuck with a crappy pick."
"Don't even think about taking the salad," Tool said, narrowing his eyes at Gunner, who groaned again.
"I can't do dessert," Gunner insisted, holding up his hands. "Do these hands look like they can make a delicate dessert to you?"
"Not in the slightest," Toll snickered.
"Just buy a damn pie and get it over with," Barney said. Caesar snapped his head up at this.
"Whoa now," he said. "Oh no. You're not just 'buying' a pie."
"Like hell am I making it from scratch," Gunner said.
"Oh yes you are!"
"Toll, you gotta trade me," Gunner said desperately. "I can't take this pressure!"
"No way, man. Snooze you lose."
Barney pulled out his now ringing phone and saw it was Christmas. He left the squabbling GI Joes and found a quiet place to talk.
"You miss me already?" Barney asked, answering.
"You know it," Lee replied.
"You sure you don't wanna come down and have dinner with us? Caesar's getting the blow torch out."
"It's fine."
"Doesn't sound fine. Is she working on Thanksgiving now?"
"Yea," Lee sighed. "She just told me."
Barney bit his tongue, but it was so hard not to tell his boy to just walk away. He cleared his throat and decided to try a different battle instead.
"So, why were you asking Gunner about pregnancy tests yesterday? Is there gonna be a little Christmas running around in nine months?"
"No," Lee answered.
"Then why were you buying one?"
"None of your business."
"You got something you wanna tell me, Christmas?" Barney asked, his tone teasing.
"Do you seriously think I have a secret uterus?" Lee retorted.
"Well, you never know...plus, you're always so emotional. We'd love you the same, you know. Women are tough too."
"Sod off. I'm a bloody man."
"I wondered why your sweat always looked red."
"I'm hanging up now."
"You can't leave me hanging, Lee. Who was the test for?"
"Just someone, okay? Drop it."
"Was it Emily? Did you get her pregnant?!"
"NO!"
"Touchy," Barney said. "From the defensive tone I will say it was Emily. Maybe it wasn't done by you but someone else?" Lee hung up on him, and Barney started to chuckle. From that response, he knew he was definitely right.
...
Jane was feeling frustrated. For the last three weeks, she had tried to find the possible guy Lacy was having an affair with, but according to Andy's source inside of Runway, Lacy was on the straight and narrow. There was nothing going on. Or maybe she was just really good at keeping it a secret. Jane wouldn't put it past her.
"Damn it," she said, banging her fist on her desk. Soapy made a chirping noise and hopped up on the desk to nudge at her hand.
"I know," she said to the cat. "I'm being crazy. I just...I truly believe Lee is meant to be with Emily."
The cat said nothing, just sat on her haunches and stared at her. Jane felt sorry for Soapy and her swollen belly. She'd already talked Kevin into saying yes to having a kitten. Andy was taking one too, and Jane was pretty sure Nigel was going to end up with one since she'd heard him talking to Soapy about what he was going to name his kitten. Emily was the only one who was adamantly refusing to take a kitten despite losing her bet so far at not being able to hit Lee in self-defense class.
"Alright, Soapy," Jane said firmly. "If I can't prove Lacy is having an affair, then I can prove to Lee that he has feelings for Emily. I just have to have the right situation and the right timing." Soapy meowed and got down from the desk, going to find Andy. Lee walked past her door looking extremely grouchy, which put her on high alert. Something had happened. She was sure of it.
"Hey!" she called, making him come back and stand in her doorway.
"Yea?"
"You okay?"
"I'm fine."
"You look like you're ready to murder someone," Jane pointed out, making him scoff. Then he passed a hand over his head and growled.
"Lacy's going away for Thanksgiving."
"Oh no..."
"Last minute job again."
Jane could tell he was struggling to believe it, but after hearing the stories from Andy, Jane knew this job at Runway was a curse on relationships.
"Well, Kevin and I are doing dinner, so you're welcome to come. Andy and Nigel will be there. I'm still trying to talk Emily into coming too." She watched him contemplate this, and after a moment he nodded.
"Why the hell not?" he said. "I'm alone anyway."
"Perfect!"
"Thanks," he said, giving her a half smile before walking away. Jane smiled to herself. The perfect situation had just presented itself. Her plan was going to work.
...
Emily was feeling such dread. Her sister was coming for Thanksgiving. The problem was: Emily wasn't doing Thanksgiving. She'd managed to get out of going to her parent's gathering, and now she was being saddled with her sister. It wasn't that she didn't love Erica, but her sister had a very good way of making Emily feel like an inch tall.
"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" Jane asked, startling her out of her depressive thoughts.
"Nothing," Emily answered.
"Nothing?! Why?"
"It's just not my thing."
"Well, Kevin and I are making dinner, and we'd love if you could come."
"Thanks, but no thanks."
"Andy's coming."
"Good for her," Emily said, resisting the temptation to roll her eyes. Did Jane think that Emily went everywhere Andy went or something just because they used to work together before?
"Nigel is too, and Lee."
"Lee?" Emily repeated, surprised. "Didn't he have plans with Lacy?"
"You didn't hear? She has to work now."
Right. Because Miranda Priestly didn't take time for holidays.
"That's too bad."
"Basically everyone from here is coming except you."
"And your point is?" Emily asked, feeling exasperated now. Jane crossed her arms.
"I'm not letting you spend Thanksgiving alone," she insisted.
"I won't be alone. My sister is coming."
"Great! Bring her."
"No!" Emily practically yelped. Lee had come back at this point, and he frowned upon seeing Emily's reaction.
"What's going on?" he asked.
"Emily won't come to dinner tomorrow even after I told her she could bring her sister."
"The older sister?" Lee questioned.
"Unfortunately," Emily sighed.
"You knew she had a sister?" Jane asked, surprised.
"Look, I'm going to basically drink myself into oblivion the entire time she's here, so I will just do that and pass on Thanksgiving, okay?" Emily finished. Well, she might not be able to if she was actually pregnant. She still needed to find that out for sure since she didn't trust the first test. She avoided Lee's pointed look, knowing he was thinking the same thing.
"Lee, help me," Jane ordered.
"I'm staying out of it," he said, putting up his hands and going to sit in his chair. He had his own corner in Emily's office now since he was working on the Dawson wedding full time.
"Jane!" Alison called. "You're wanted on line one!"
"Coming!" Jane called back. She looked at Emily one last time. "Please just think about it."
"I've thought about it, and it's still no," Emily told her. Jane growled but had to leave before Nigel started hollering for her more. Emily refused to look at Lee even though she could tell he was watching her.
"I take it you and your sister still aren't best friends," he commented after a moment.
"No, but she's my sister, and I have to love her," Emily retorted. This made him laugh out loud, which made her finally crack a smile.
"When does she get here?" Lee asked.
"Around five."
"She meeting you here?"
"Unfortunately."
"Another Charlton girl," Lee said, musing. "I bet you're the beautiful one." Something about this statement and his tone made Emily get shivers. She didn't know why.
"She's got it all," Emily replied, shifting papers on her desk. She didn't want to talk about Erica anymore. She didn't even want him to meet Erica. Her sister was famous for trying to make every guy she met want to be with her regardless if they were attached or not.
"I very much doubt that," Lee said quietly, making her look at him. Sometimes, it was like he could see into her soul. She felt a pang and forced herself to look away from him. He was marrying someone else.
"Reverend Hoffs was fine with the changes we made by the way," he said, taking it back to business. She was grateful for that. Spending this much time with him was starting to get to her.
"Good. That will make Mary happy."
"You know," Lee said, "their story still moves me."
"I know. It really is something," Emily agreed. She caught his smile and smiled back.
"I'm gonna go for a coffee run. Want anything?"
"Got any whiskey instead?" she asked.
"Ha, ha," he laughed sarcastically. "You want one or not?"
"Not. I'm jittery as it is. And...well, the other thing."
"Right. You have to give up coffee if you are?" he asked.
"Limit it."
"I see. Alright, well, sucks to be you," he said. She chucked a pen at him, making him duck. Then she watched him throw his black leather coat on and head for the hallway. A few moments later, she heard footsteps back. She was looking at an email.
"What did you forget this time?" she asked, not looking at the doorway.
"Hi, little sis," a woman's voice said. Emily froze for half a second before looking to see a blonde haired, brown eyed, slim, big chested and flaunting it, average height woman standing in front of her in a black, short skirt and a white button up blouse. Her wine colored coat was slung over her arm.
Erica.
"Hi," she said back, groaning inwardly. She was in for a very long next few days.