Songs I listened to while writing this chapter: Icarus Rising by Aleksandar Dimitrijevic and I Love You by Siddhartha Khosla

Emily felt Barney's hands let her go the second Lee gasped and coughed. She didn't even care that the nurses and doctor weren't finished doing whatever it was they were doing. She barged in there and made it to Lee's side, grasping his hands in hers.

"Lee!"

"Emily," he said hoarsely, looking at her.

"You came back," she said, her voice ragged with tears.

"Of course I did," he replied. "You asked me to. You know I'd do anything for you." She cried, lowering her face to bury it against his. She felt one of his hands let go of hers and rest against her cheek.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Hendricks," a nurse said. "I need you to stand over there a moment while we finish up here." Emily was about to tell her off when Lee pressed a thumb over her lips to stop her.

"I'm not going anywhere," he promised. "Okay?"

"Okay," she whispered, around his thumb. He gave her hand a squeeze before letting go, and she stepped back. She noticed Barney was still hovering outside, waiting. After the staff were finished, they left her and Barney alone with him.

"The warrior is awake," Barney said, stopping at the end of Lee's bed. His arms were crossed. "You weren't seriously gonna check out on us, were you?"

"Barney," Lee said, his voice still a bit hoarse but was getting better. He'd had some water. "You're here."

"No shit," Barney snorted. "You think I wouldn't be here to save your ass yet again?"

"You had nothing to do with it," Lee retorted back.

"I like to think I had something to do with it," Barney insisted.

"I suppose you're gonna say it's cos you had that damn ring on."

"Yup." Barney held up his hand to show him. Emily noticed the big skull ring there and resisted asking why it was considered lucky when it looked terrifying as hell.

"Well, thank God," Lee said sarcastically. "What would we ever do without that monstrosity on your finger saving our asses?"

"See? Devil sent him right back," Barney told Emily.

"I was going up, just so you know," Lee retorted. "Not down."

"Jesus didn't want you either, then."

"I chose to stay."

"Cos of my pretty face?"

"No, cos of hers," Lee answered, gesturing to Emily. She was fascinated with this back and forth bicker fest.

"We both know it's secretly cos of mine," Barney insisted, winking at Emily. Lee rolled his eyes.

"I saw Billy," Lee said next, his voice serious, and Barney stopped chuckling.

"You did?"

"Yea."

Emily couldn't take it anymore. She needed to be touching at least some part of him, so she went and sat next to him, reaching to take his hand in hers. He gave her a small smile before looking back at Barney.

"Is he pissed?" Barney asked.

"No. He said to tell you all to stop feeling bad about it. He said he's just fine."

"You believe him?"

"I do."

Barney scratched his head and gave another chuckle. Emily wasn't really sure how to feel knowing that Lee had seen and talked to their dead colleague. That's how close he'd been to death, and it terrified her.

"No promises, but I'll do my best," Barney said after a moment. He cleared his throat a few times before sniffing hard and nodding his head, the most emotion he typically visibly showed to people. "I'm gonna call Tool. The boys have been worried sick."

"Alright," Lee agreed. Barney gave another curt nod before walking out, pulling his phone from his pocket as he went. Lee looked at Emily again, and she felt herself crying for the millionth time, but these were happy tears.

"Hi," he said to her.

"Hi," she said back, reaching to touch his face. He cupped her hand with his own after.

"Mrs. Hendricks?" he asked, his tone slightly playful. She blushed.

"I was in a wedding dress. They just assumed, and I let them," she replied.

"Fair enough."

Emily didn't want to admit that she liked the way it sounded: Mrs. Hendricks. She brought his hand up to rest against her cheek, and he brushed it with his thumb.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"You're the one who almost died, and you're asking me if I'm okay?" she countered. "Seriously, Lee?"

"Just answer the question," he said.

"I am now," she told him, "but you scared the hell out of me."

"I'm sorry."

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Like shit," he answered. Emily felt stupid for asking. How else was he supposed to feel? Peachy? He'd been shot and stabbed for crying out loud. She felt like an idiot. He was suddenly struggling to sit up, and she felt a bit alarmed.

"I don't think you should be doing that," she said, standing up and reaching to put a hand on his shoulder. "You might...you might break something." It was the first thing she thought of, and she knew it was stupid. He was giving her a slightly quizzical look, and she blushed again.

"I don't know anything about bullet wounds," she said defensively. "Or stab wounds." He tried to sit up again, but she pushed back with her hand to keep him down. "It might have broken something in you. I don't know. I can't see inside you, but I know you've had a lot of trauma. I just don't think you should be-"

He grasped the back of her head, making her squeak in surprise, and pulled her down into him, claiming her lips with his. It was a very awkward position, and she could feel her back starting to scream at her for being all twisted like that, but she didn't want to stop. She had to, though, before she pulled something and buggered herself up.

"Hang on," she said, propping herself up from him.

"I can't sit up to kiss you, you won't come down to my level so I can kiss you...what do you want from me?" he asked, his voice teasing.

"I'm not saying you can't kiss me. I'm just...twisted," she said, trying to move her back. With surprising strength from someone who'd been unconscious and half dead full of bullet holes and stab wounds, Lee lifted her into the hospital bed onto his chest in one swift motion. Granted, she was a very light person, but still. He made a sound of pain, which startled her.

"I really don't think..." she tried.

"Quit your dithering," he ordered, kissing her again. It felt much better now that they were both single, she had to admit that, but it was still just as good as she remembered.

"I'm not dithering," she said when there was a pause. "I'm just concerned that..." Silenced again. It seemed he really didn't want to hear that she was worried he was hurting himself as he kissed her deeper.

"MISTER Hendricks!" a voice exclaimed. Emily and Lee broke apart, looking like a pair of guilty teenagers.

"Hi," Lee said to the nurse standing there with her hands on her hips.

"Just what in the fresh hell do you think you're doing?" the nurse demanded.

"I told you..." Emily started.

"I'm kissing my girl," Lee answered, interrupting her. "All right? It's been a hell of a journey to get here, and I'm not wasting anymore damn time because I love this woman and I never want to lose her again, so if I want to kiss her, I'm gonna kiss her. Is that okay with you?" The nurse was a bit taken aback, her mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out of it.

"I love you, Emily," Lee said, looking at her again. He touched her face gently with his fingertips. "I'm sorry I spent so long with the wrong girl."

"I love you too, Lee," Emily replied. "And I'm sorry I almost married a psychopath."

"Oh, dear Lord," the nurse said now, sighing. "It's like an episode of the Young and the Restless in here."

"I should have seen it, that he wasn't right," Lee said to Emily, ignoring the nurse. "I should have fought harder..."

"I think we can do that game forever and never win," she interrupted. "We're here now. That's what matters." He was nodding, but his face looked like it was in a bit of pain now. Emily felt fear suddenly. She moved to get off when he grabbed her shoulders.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," he said. "Okay? Don't ever forget that."

"I won't."

"Mrs. Hendricks," the nurse said, impatient now. "Get the hell off him."

"Okay," Emily said. Lee released her, and she climbed out and moved to sit in the chair beside him again. He reached for her hand, which she took in hers. He simply looked at her while the nurse checked him over. He got scolded for making his bandages seep from having Emily on top of him and berated for being so damn reckless while in the state he was in. Emily resisted checking her shirt for blood. She didn't want to see that again.

"All set, Mr. Hendricks," the nurse said after a moment. "No robust activities, no lifting heavy weights, and no running any marathons for a while. Got it?"

"I can have sex, though, right?" Lee asked.

"Lee!" Emily was so mortified. Her face was hot enough to cause third degree burns.

"Only if she does the majority of the work," the nurse replied. "But even then, I'd be very careful. Talk to the doctor about it."

"Oh my God," Emily moaned, hiding her face in her hands. Barney was snickering at this point, having returned to catch this last bit of conversation. The nurse rolled her eyes as she walked out. Emily reached to smack Lee's good shoulder once, twice, three times before he caught her hand to make her stop. He was laughing, though.

"Come on, lighten up," he said. "You're so serious all the time."

"I don't like being embarrassed."

"I'm going to leave you two love birds alone," Barney cut in. "I need to get some freaking sleep. Tool and the boys say hi and to stay frosty."

"Thanks."

"Here's my key," Emily said, giving it to him.

"See you later," Barney said, nodding at both of them before walking out.

Once they were alone again, Emily felt almost a shyness come over her. Here they were, finally being honest about their feelings and making out like teenagers. She wasn't sure what to say next.

"Did he hurt you?" Lee asked, referring to Josh. He played with her fingers in his.

"No," she answered, shaking her head. "I mean, not until he put the gun to my head. Nothing happened up to that point."

"Is he dead?"

"As far as I know, yes."

Lee just nodded, looking away from her for a moment. Emily couldn't help but remember what it had looked like to watch him fight to keep her safe. Then she remembered Nigel.

"I can't believe Nigel beat him with a bottle of wine," Emily said, slightly laughing. It was better than crying.

"Hey, you use what's in front of you," Lee replied, smiling. "I've used forks before."

"I don't want to know," she said quickly, holding her hand up. They both laughed a little before she looked down at her lap. She couldn't understand why it was so hard to talk to him now. She felt him squeeze her hand, and she looked at him again.

"I'm not in a rush," he said softly. "I mean, we both just got out of a relationship..."

"Are you sure?" she cut him off.

"About what?"

"About me?"

"What about you?"

"Are you sure you want to be with me?" She felt afraid that this wasn't real, that he'd change his mind once he fully got to know her or that he was going along with this because he felt he had to after everything. She held back the tear that was threatening to fall.

"I don't take a bullet for just anyone, you know," he replied, a smirk forming on his face.

"Lee..."

"I rarely take two bullets for anybody," he went on, full out smirking now, "let alone two bullets and two stab wounds." She clicked her tongue against her teeth and made a face at him, brow raised.

"Are you done?" she asked. "I'm being serious."

"Yes, I'm done," he promised, doing his best to hide his grin. "Emily, I've never been sure about anything in my whole life. I regret being stupid for this long about it, and I deeply regret hurting you in the process of me figuring it out. I think the real question is are you sure about being with me?"

She recalled the hurt from him making her believe he'd left Lacy, but she recognized that she also hadn't asked him and had just gone with it. She couldn't let him take the full blame for it. As for the whole baby thing...she couldn't blame him for wanting to make a family work if it could work. His loyalty is something she loved about him. It reassured her that he'd fight for their relationship until the death.

"I'm very sure," she answered, swallowing her emotion. She rested her other hand on top of theirs, and he gave her his crooked smile.

"FINALLY!"

They both jumped and looked to see Jane standing there with a huge grin on her face.

"What are you doing here?" Emily asked, surprised, taking her hands back.

"I couldn't sleep," Jane dismissed, coming in with a hand on her pregnant belly. "I was too sick with worry, and I shouldn't have been because here you are professing your love to each other."

"Barney told you," Lee reasoned.

"He may have sent me a text, and I may have been awake and needed to come see for myself," Jane said, squishing her nose up before smiling.

"I don't know how I feel about you being friends with Barney," Lee admitted.

"He's a bit of a gruff fellow, eh? I like it. Is he single? I can find someone for him too."

"Please don't," Lee said instantly.

"Oh, a challenge. I like it even more."

"Jane," Emily cut in, feeling slightly annoyed. "As much as I'm glad you care about Lee, I'd really like to be alone with him right now."

"Oh, right," Jane said, slapping a hand to her forehead. "Duh. I get it. Sorry, I just...I like happy endings." She broke into tears slightly, and Lee looked a little bit alarmed.

"Jane?" Emily asked.

"Gah, these stupid hormones," Jane said, snatching a tissue from the box on the table by the bed. She sniffed hard and then wiped at her eyes. "I'm going. Please don't break up with him before dawn."

"I won't, but I might break up with you as my friend if you don't leave right now," Emily threatened.

"Fair enough." Jane bobbed her head and turned to leave. She waved before disappearing, and Lee started to laugh.

"Honestly," Emily said, laughing too. She felt exhausted suddenly, and she could see he was too. She got comfortable in the chair and reached to hold his hand again. She was on her left side, and his head was turned to the right, watching her. Her eyes slowly closed, and she fell asleep after a few moments, a smile etched on her face.

Days Later

Lee flicked on the light of his apartment and heaved a sigh of relief to be finally out of the hospital. He got lucky when the landlord advised there was another apartment for rent on the floor underneath his old apartment. Lee didn't exactly want to be in the same apartment he'd shared with Lacy, but he hadn't wanted to be homeless either, so this option worked out perfectly. Emily had offered him to stay at her place, but he didn't want to rush into things and risk ruining their relationship before it got started. He was glad she agreed.

"Wriggly little thing," Barney commented, coming in behind him with Soapy under his arm. The cat finally shoved off him and landed on the floor, tearing off to go hide. He set Lee's duffel bag on the floor with a thud.

"Well, she doesn't like to be carried like a football," Lee pointed out.

"I couldn't keep a grip on her otherwise."

"Hence why she ran away from you. You're lucky you don't have claw marks on your face."

"She certainly takes after you, huh?" Barney asked, chuckling. Lee rolled his eyes.

"You don't have to stay," Lee said. "I know you got a job."

"Eh," Barney said, waving his hand. A call had come in, but he was in no rush.

"I'm fine."

"You say that, but I don't buy it."

Lee just exhaled loudly and went to sit on the couch. Soapy jumped up on it moments later, torn with wanting to hide and wanting to be with him after being separated for so long. She curled up on his lap. Barney sank down in the arm chair and groaned in comfort.

"I thought Emily would be here," he commented after a moment.

"She's coming later."

"She taking some time off?"

"Just the last few days."

"That's it?"

"Yea, she doesn't take a lot of down time."

"Gee," Barney said, shaking his head. "Tough gal."

"She is," Lee agreed absently, his fingers massaging Soapy's head and ears. The cat purred happily.

"You're not gonna screw this up are you?"

"Have a little faith, Barn." He watched Barney pull out his phone after it vibrated.

"Why is Jane asking me my favorite foods?" Barney asked. Lee worked to contain his laughter. He had no doubt that Jane was setting up a dating profile for Barney.

"Who knows."

"I know pregnant women have cravings, but I thought it was just their own cravings...not other people's."

Lee didn't respond as Barney tapped out a response back to Jane. He started thinking about Emily. She'd come to see him and stay with him every day at the hospital. Now that he was out, he wondered what their relationship would look like. What would it be like to finally take her on a date? He suddenly felt like an awkward teenager again.

His phone rang, and he smiled upon seeing her name on the screen.

"Hey," he said, getting up and making Soapy meow in protest at being disturbed. He went down to his room and shut the door, sinking down on his bed.

"Hi," Emily said back. He could hear the shyness in her voice, and it made him smile. Maybe he wasn't alone in feeling a bit nervous.

"What're you up to?" he asked.

"Talking to you."

"Ha, ha," he said before chuckling. "I'm rubbing off on you, aren't I?"

"No," she said sarcastically. He grinned, picturing the smile on her face in his mind.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

"I'm thinking is Barney going to be there when I get there?" she countered.

"I'm trying to kick him out."

"Did you want to come over instead?"

"That might be a better option." He felt anticipation inside at the thought of being alone with her. They weren't rushing things, but the fact that he no longer had to deny what he wanted made things seem a bit more intense.

"You gonna come soon?"

"I'm leaving right now," he answered, getting up and going to find his keys.

...

Emily didn't know what to expect when Lee arrived at her doorstep. She knew they were free to do what they wanted, but she also knew they didn't want to go too fast. She kept getting goosebumps every time she thought about his touch no longer being constrained.

"That was fast," she commented when she pulled open the door to see him standing there. He smiled slowly, taking in her dark jeans and off the shoulder long sleeve yellow shirt.

"It was worth the speeding ticket," he replied, coming inside.

"What?!"

"I'm kidding," he said, shrugging off his coat. Her apartment was a bit too warm for him. He was going to have to take off his black hoodie sooner than later. He saw her standing there looking unsure of what to do and reached to catch her hand and pull her into him.

It felt so strange being in his arms without reminding herself he was off limits. The feelings of being safe and comforted were still there, though. She felt him rest his cheek against her head, which was resting on his shoulder. Visions of him getting shot and falling to the ground suddenly went through her mind, and her fingers tightened their grip on his back.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sensing the change.

"I just keep seeing it," she answered, turning her head to look at him. He reached to shift her hair back from her cheek.

"Which part?" he inquired, his eyes looking into hers with care and concern.

"You standing up to take the bullets meant for me," she whispered. She'd known that Lee cared about her, but in that moment, she'd come to understand that he was willing to die for her. It wasn't something she was used to.

"You were worth it," he replied. "I'd do it again if I had to."

"I hope you never have to."

"Me too," he said quietly. Tigger mewed at their feet, and they both looked down to see the kitten staring up at them. Emily bent to pick him up, which made Lee smile.

"Go ahead and say it," she sighed.

"I told you you needed a kitten," he said, smiling wider as he rubbed two of his fingers on the kitten's head. Tigger yawned widely, his little tongue curling as he did so. Then he was smacking his lips and sinking his claws into Emily's arm.

"Argh," she said, wincing. "I'm still not used to that." Lee removed the kitten gently and set him on his platform. Then he pulled Emily to sit on the couch next to him. She curled up in his arms, feeling his heart beating slow and constant under her. Well, it sped up every now and then, and she knew why. Hers was too.

"I am dying to know," he said.

"Know what?"

"What it says."

She twisted to look at him, confused. What was he talking about? In response, he took his finger and pulled down her shirt further that was off her shoulder, and she knew what he meant. When had he seen it? Her brain was trying to figure it out when she suddenly remembered. He'd seen it when she had stood in her bra and underpants in her bedroom on Thanksgiving. The tattoo on her shoulder. She'd completely forgotten all about that. Again.

"'She's a sparrow when she's broken, but she's an eagle when she flies,'" he read. She shivered at his finger tracing it on her skin. "I never would have taken you for a Dolly Parton fan."

"It was my grandfather's favorite song," she said. Her face wasn't turned fully towards him. "It also resonates with me because I've been broken so many times and need that reminder that eventually I'll fly."

"So when are you gonna tell me about him?"

"Soon," she promised. "I'd like to go five minutes without crying right now."

"Alright."

Lee said nothing else as he pressed his lips against the words on her skin, and Emily thought she might combust inside. She turned to fully face him and grasped his face in her hands as she kissed him heartily on the mouth. She felt his hands slide up her waist and hold her sides. She paused, hovering her lips over his as they both breathed heavily. Without saying anything, he moved a hand to trace her face as he searched her eyes.

"No regrets?" she asked, her voice quiet.

"No regrets," he confirmed, his a murmur. She smiled slowly, and he kissed the corner of her mouth before she moved her head to kiss him full on again.

The Next Morning

"You just slept side by side all night?" Barney asked as Lee slid the mug of coffee towards him. After Emily went to work, he'd gone back to his apartment to find Soapy sleeping on Barney's chest on the couch. All was forgiven, apparently.

"Yea," Lee answered. "So?"

"It's just...unusual."

"It's called taking things slow."

"I'll say."

"I want this to be perfect," Lee said, putting the coffee pot back on the burner and picking up his mug before turning to lean against the counter to face Barney. "I don't want to ruin it by being too fast."

"Damn," Barney said, chuckling. "You really do love this girl."

"More than anything."

"Doctor advised against it, didn't he?"

"That too, but honestly, I'd do it this way even if I didn't have all this 'trauma to my body' as he called it. I want to treat her the way she deserves, and that means not being an arse and courting her properly."

"Well, here's to the future Mrs. Christmas," Barney said, raising up his mug. Lee just smiled, and Barney turned his attention to the weather outside. "I should get going back home."

"I told you that last night."

"I know. I just wanted to make sure you really were alright."

"I'm a lot better now," Lee said, his meaning clear. Barney nodded and smiled.

"Yea, you are," he agreed. "Next time, listen to me sooner, okay? Dumbass." He ducked the flying spoon, laughing. He finished his coffee and went to grab his stuff. He said his goodbyes to Lee, and they man-hugged and clapped shoulders and promised to see each other again soon.

Barney left his friend, feeling a hell of a lot lighter inside.