Steve tries. He really tries not to make a sound, but Bucky is slowly shifting his spine into place, while Wanda directs him, and he can't help the muffled moan of pain as it sets into alignment.

The hands on his ankle tense and he feels guilty. Guilty for making the kid feel worse.

"Fine." He chokes out. Trying to alleviate the tension in the room. "I'm fine."

"Shut up." Bucky snarls at him, his hands still placing immense pressure on his back as they wait for the bones to start healing.

It takes a few minutes, but the shooting pain starts to diminish and Steve's body relaxes under their hands. He feels Peter let go of his ankles and hears him bring a chair around, closer to his head. Peter sits and looks sheepishly at him as he lays, stomach down, on the hospital bed.

"I'm really sorry." Peter tries for the thousandth time.

He can practically hear Bucky rolling his eyes above him.

"Nothing I haven't done before." Steve admits a bit breathily.

Peter glances hesitantly up at Bucky and then back to him. "You said that… But you said it wasn't a bad memory? Can I hear about it?"

—

Steve's laying on his stomach, smiling and talking to Peter as Bucky sits on his hips and holds his spine in place.

What seventh circle of hell has he walked into.

"No, no," Steve corrects with a huff, "the tank round blasted against my shield, and even though it's supposed to be vibration absorbent, it can't stop everything, especially the force this thing had with the blue energy from the tesseract. So I get blasted, face first into a brick wall."

Bucky watches as Peter winces. "Yep." Bucky drawls. "My reaction exactly."

He watches as Steve tries to see him out of his peripheral vision. He leans over and gets into Steve's eyesight. "You want something punk?"

"Nah, jerk."

Steve smiles and Bucky straightens back up. "Steve's face was a literal mess after that. To this day I think his nose is different than before."

Peter, Bruce and Wanda look up at him, questions in their eyes. He huffs and shifts his weight. Steve flinches and he freezes. "Oops. Sorry."

"You're fine." Steve responds tightly, his eyes pinched shut.

Fine.

Sure.

Idiot.

He looks back at the faces still staring at him. Sighing he stares at the wall and starts the story.

"When Steve smashed against the wall, he shattered his orbital sockets, his nose, cracked his jaw, and dented his forehead." He blinks. The images of Steve's crumbled face flashing in his memory. "We didn't know then that his back had also snapped, so he dragged him off to the side and hid him until the battle was over."

Steve sighs and Bucky glares down, "Don't you dare go complaining about this again."

"I was fiiine." Steve emphasizes.

Bucky rolls his eyes. "When we got back, his bones were starting to heal wrong. Made him look like the hunchback of Notre Dame." Steve huffs a laugh and Bucky starts to chuckle only to stop at the looks of concern and disbelief on the rest of the faces. "We pushed and prodded his facial bones until we thought we had them right. I think this bump—" he gestures his head towards Steve, "on his nose, I think we added that."

Peter's glancing down, peering closer to Steve's face, leaning in when Steve's eyes open back up and startle him back. Steve's smile at the kid's jumpy reaction has the rest of the group laughing.

"So," Bucky continues, "once we got his face set as best we could, we were camped out for the night, and I woke up to someone shouting. I stumbled out of my tent to see that Steve had started seizing. We didn't know why, and it wasn't till we got him out of the top of his uniform, searching for a wound we thought we must have missed, that we saw that his spine was crooked and healing wrong. So Dugan straightened him out, holding him still after the seizure and I held his feet, which is how he ended up kicking me in the jaw. It hurt. A lot. Anyways, it definitely was not a fun night."

Bruce clears his throat, gently tapping on Steve's shoulder, "surely you had to have felt it before you started seizing… that would have been incredibly painful."

Bucky glared at Steve, who even immobilized, tucked his chin down in embarrassment. "Oh, uh… It wasn't too bad." Bucky growls and Steve winces. "I mean… I was still new to the healing factor of the serum. I didn't know what anything was supposed to feel like. Almost everything was painful back then." The admission has the room falling silent, and Steve reacts to the quiet by rambling, "I mean, not everything. Just that stuff was too loud. Or too bright. Or when I didn't know what healing skin or bone felt like at that speed. I promise, it wasn't bad, I swear. It was good! I was used to pain from being sick all my life, nothing I couldn't handle. And, I remembered this feeling, that's why I knew to have Tony call Bucky when I felt the same symptoms coming up. So, see? It's all—"

"Steve." Bucky says flatly.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

Steve's mouth turns down at the corners and Peter reaches out and gently pats his shoulder. "It's okay. I ramble and people tell me to shut up too."

Bucky lets out a full belly laugh at that and he doesn't notice til a few seconds later that they're all smiling back at him.

—

Tony walks in, phone in hand to find the strangest sight.

Barnes kneels, perched on Steve's hips, hands held steady on his back. Peter is by Steve's face, talking about something to do with school while Bruce and Wanda are sitting on the end of Steve's bed, occasionally poking at Steve's legs or feet.

"Anyone care to explain?" He says dryly, settling in a chair next to Peter.

Steve smiles at him, which, for a guy being held down by a former assassin who has tried to kill him on multiple occasions, seems pretty brave.

"We're just waiting till my spine heals before I turn over or move. Once I can start to feel my legs I should be good to flip over."

Tony's brow furrows. "How long should that take?"

Steve's eyes flit to the side, trying to see Bucky. "Buck?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember how long it took?"

"A while. But this could be different. You're not regrowing a new face either."

Steve nods and Tony looks at them in confusion. A new face? What the hell is that supposed to mean?

"Steve?"

"Yeah, Bruce?"

"You said that memory was painful. Not bad."

Steve's voice is more hesitant this time, "yeah…?"

"How many more memories of that do you have? Ones that were painful or something… but not necessarily ammo for Beck or Zemo?"

Tony watches as Steve's eyes unfocus for a second.

"Zemo?" Wanda asks, her shoulders tensing, "what about Zemo?"

"Nothing." Tony snaps. "Asshole is in prison where he belongs."

He can see that the anger in his voice surprises Wanda and Peter. "Didn't Beck work in your labs?" Peter asks. "What did he do?"

And the silence that fills the room makes the three of them, Tony, Steve, and Bucky, realize just how in the dark the rest of the world was as they went through that particular year-long nightmare.

"Yeah," Tony says finally. "He did work for me. Doesn't anymore"

"Steve?"

"Hmm?"

"You didn't answer my question."

Tony is suprised, Bruce isn't usually a pusher, so the fact that he's not letting Steve slide without answering is a new thing.

"Quite a few, Bruce." Steve says calmly, while Bucky sighs and leans his head back. "Quite a few."

"Well. I'd like to hear them or see them, if you feel comfortable?"

"You want him to relive painful moments?" Bucky asks, his voice a bit clipped.

Bruce is cautious when he responds. "Not necessarily, but the more I learn about the serum, as the guy who knows more than almost anyone else in this room." Tony holds up his hands, conceding the point, "I'd like to know more about how your body gets injured and heals. I'd like to be able to map things up. To prevent things like this from ever happening again."

"Oh," Steve says with surprise in his voice, "you don't have to do that. We always figured that even if my bones or something heals wrong, that with enough time and rest it would eventually fix itself to the correct way. So, you don't have to go through all that trouble—"

"I want to." Bruce says quickly. "Steve. I want to. If you're willing. So am I."

There's a pause… Then Steve sighs, "Sure Bruce. Why not. It will help Bucky too, right?"

The question induces a groan from the man currently sitting on Steve. Who gently swats at the man's head and says, "You're such a punk. You know you can do things just because they're good for you."

Steve smiles, "I know. But isn't it great if it helps both of us?"

Bucky rolls his eyes and flicks the back of Steve's ear. "You're the worst."

"Thank you."

—

"I felt that."

Natasha glances up from where she had just run a pen up the bottom of Steve's foot. "You did?"

She can hear the smile in his voice, coupled with relief. "Yes, yes, I felt that!"

She smiles back and taps along all points, and he responds that he can feel each one.

"My nerves must be back in line." He says gleefully. As if its a normal everyday sentence.

She picks up her phone and looks at Clint who's sitting on his couch at home, one of his kids tucked against his chest. "Looks like we're gonna be fine. I'll call you back later."

Clint nods sleepily and waves goodbye using his kid's hand which makes her laugh.

—

About 3 hours later, Steve begs to be flipped over. "Please, guys! I can feel my arms and hands and most of my legs even if I can't really move them yet. I'm ready! My spine is set, I just know it."

It's the pitiful blue eyes that do them in. Peter and Bucky gently flip him onto his side and then onto his back, where he lets out such a sigh of relief that it prickles something in the back of Tony's mind. Something. He's not sure what. But something.

—

Wanda's back on his bed, her head on his shoulder. "You'll tell me?"

He's flexing his fingers. They're stiff and a little uncoordinated in their movements, but he can feel them, and it's not a moment too soon. "Tell you what?"

"What happened?"

"You saw the video, you know what happened."

"No, Steve, what happened before, what Clint said."

Steve groans quietly. "I will. It's a long story though. So, another night."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

—

Peter hears a sound. His senses tingle and he snaps awake, eyes flitting across the room as they search for the source. He is surprised to find the room is empty except for him, Wanda, who's asleep on the couch, and Steve.

Who's breathing is wrong.

He quietly walks over, thinking that he might be having a nightmare, only to realize that he's awake.

"Steve?"

Eyes that are held tightly in pain look at him. "Hey, Queens." He says a little too easily.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, you can go back to sleep."

"I can feel it, something's wrong."

Steve tilts his head at him, "you can feel what?"

"My…" he pauses, unsure how to describe it, "when I get this like… there's this… sense that I have… That tells me when something's wrong."

Steve's eyes widen a bit and he nods, impressed. "That's a really awesome tool to have."

Peter narrows his eyes at the blatant disregard for his question. "So, what's wrong?"

Steve huffs a laugh, "you're almost worse than Bucky."

"Steve."

"Peter, it's actually nothing, you wanna know what it is? You ever have a foot or something fall asleep?"

"Yeah…"

Steve winces, his breathing hitching before he takes a deep breath and tries to relax. "It's like that… But every inch of my body from my chest down."

"Oh… yikes."

"Yeah." Steve smiles grimly, "But it doesn't last long. Probably just a few more minutes. I remember it was short last time too."

"Anything I can do?"

He watches as Steve considers his offer, "Distract me?"

Peter smiles. "I thought you'd never ask."

—

Bucky walks back into the room, loaded down with food for him and Steve to find Peter, sitting cross legged on Steve's bed, a deck of cards being shuffled in his hands.

"He cheats."

Peter and Steve's faces whip to him and he sets the food down on the little table next to the chair and walks over.

"Buck." Steve admonishes. "I do not cheat. You're just a sore loser."

Bucky stares at Peter, ignoring Steve. "He cheats. He's a cheating cheater who cheats."

Peter's smiling like a mad man as Steve scoffs and folds his arms across his chest. "I have only cheated when it's necessary to win."

Peter's eyes go wide at the admission and the three of them laugh. "I'm teaching him a new game." Peter says finally, "not a poker game."

"Oh." Bucky says, as he grabs the food and decides to bring it to the bed instead. He sets the 7 take-out boxes of Chinese food along Steve's legs and starts to open them up.

"My bed's not a table, Buck."

"Well, until you can walk your ass to the table I guess we're eating here aren't we."

Bucky glares at Steve who is glaring back at him, Peter's eyes going back and forth between them.

"Fine." Steve gives in. "But if you spill I will come after you when I'm out of this bed."

"You can try." Bucky responds haughtily.

Steve's mouth drops open and he chokes out a laugh. "Is that a challenge?".

"Not everything's a challenge, Steve."

"Okay good, because—"

"Except this. That was a challenge." Bucky picks up a fortune cookie, opening the plastic and dumping the cookie into his metal hand and promptly crushing it to dust in his fist.

Steve's eyes go wide, "oh no, don't you dare, Bucky, I swear if you—!"

He doesn't get to finish as Bucky slowly opens his fingers, dumping the mess onto the bed.

Steve makes a choked noise and his face screws up in disgust as he throws his head backwards onto his pillow.

"James Buchanan Barnes." He grits out.

"Steven Grant Rogers." Bucky says with a smirk.

"I hate you."

"Feeling's mutual."

"Um, guys?" Peter's voice pipes in, "what's happening?"

"James, here is a grade A—"

"Now, now, Captain America doesn't curse in front of children—"

"—little shit." Steve finishes without blinking an eye.

"This is my favorite." They look up to find Wanda awake, smiling at them, her hands under her chin and on top of her knees.

"What's your favorite?" Steve asks.

"You two, happy."

—-

Peter watches as Bucky and Steve both scoff at Wanda's comment. But the mirth in both of their eyes is easily apparent.

"Clean that up." Steve says firmly, pointing towards the dust.

"Make me." Bucky shoots back, grabbing a container and sitting down, twirling noodles with a fork.

"Of all the things for you to remember," Steve groans, "this is my least favorite."

Peter's entranced with the back and forth. He's only seen these guys a few times. Mostly when he was getting beaten to a pulp at the airport, or when they were realigning Steve's spine and the atmosphere then was serious too. This is different. They're like… like people. Normal, ridiculously stubborn people.

"Seriously," Bucky snorts, "after everything, me remembering how much you hate food in your bed is the worst?"

"Yes."

"Worse than the prison with Peggy?"

Peter's eyebrow furrows, he doesn't know what that references, he glances at Wanda who has an equally confused expression.

Steve lets out a long suffering sigh, "James, shut the hell up."

Peter watches as Bucky looks incredibly pleased with himself, settling into his chair and taking a bite, chewing it thoughtfully. Once he's swallowed, he looks at Peter and a smug half grin appears. "You know he's really ticked when he refuses to call me Bucky."

Steve's eyes narrow. "You want to go there? Okay, Buchanan. We'll go there."

"If the Star Spangled Man with a Plan doesn't pipe down, there's going to be more food in his bed."

"Not if Bucky Barnes, leader of the American Youth against Hitler wants to live to see another Christmas!"

Bucky's face goes instantly red and he shoots up from his chair jabbing a finger at Steve, "I KNEW IT! I KNEW THAT WAS YOU!"

Steve holds his serious face for a millisecond before cracking. He clutches his stomach, laughing so hard that Peter can feel the rumbling on the bed, the whole room fills with the sound, Steve just doubled over with laughter and tears streaming out of his eyes. "Your—" he gasps out, "your face!" He doubles over again, "you should see your face—" he can't breath and he's clutching at his ribs, "ow, ow, oooww, someone say something serious," he pleads, "my ribs, they hurt."

"I'll kill you." Bucky says flatly, but Steve just glances up at the steely face of the Winter Soldier and breaks down laughing again.

"Oow—uh—ahh." He grits his teeth, air hissing through them. The demeanor in the room changes as true pain crosses Steve's face and he leans back against the bed, hands pressed against his sides.

"Steve?" Wanda says, flitting over and places her hands on his chest, glowing red from her palms.

She looks up at his face and it grows stern, "no more laughing, you're aggravating your spine."

He huffs and nods, leaning bonelessly against his pillow. She goes back to the couch, and picks up her phone. After a few seconds his breathing goes back to normal and before his eyes even open, a slow smug grin slides onto his lips.

"It wasn't me." He says seriously, but there's humor in his eyes.

"Then who the hell was it?"

Steve pauses, holding the laughter back before speaking, "it was an off-hand joke Dugan made to the comic book writer."

Bucky glowers at him. "You're going to sit here and tell me you had nothing to do with it?"

Steve's eyes hit the ceiling and he pauses again. He opens his mouth and then stops. He's grinning and Peter finds a matching grin on his face. He's never ever pictured Captain America like this. There is something thrilling about being here, watching them.

"Weeeelllll," Steve says finally, "you may have just embarrassed me into singing for Peggy's birthday the day before the comic book writer asked me to confirm or deny."

Bucky's mouth drops open, "you cursed me to be memorialized as a child in fucking tights for eternity because I did you a favor!?"

"Buck!"

Peter ducks his head, trying not to laugh, "sorry, Peter. Freaking tights." Bucky hisses. But then the room falls silent. Bucky looks at Steve thoughtfully, "you remember now?"

Steve nods, his eyes on his hands, "Yeah, I sang Happy Birthday with the commandos, and then you forced me to sing…" he pauses, his teeth biting his bottom lip in thought, "uh, you made me sing…." His eyes look up and there's a bit of panic as Peter can see that he doesn't remember.

Bucky opens his mouth to speak, "I made you sing…" he trails off too and they just stare at each other. "Shit."

Steve's nose scrunches and he leans back, "I remembered a while ago… can't believe I forgot again." He glances at Bucky, "that's… that's unusual for me."

Bucky's head is bobbing up and down. "Yeah… but after last year, I think it's fair for our brains to be a little scrambled."

Steve's nodding and Peter's glancing back at Wanda who looks just as confused as he feels.

Then Steve rolls his eyes, changing the tone of the room back to something lighter, "How in the hell was making me sing like an idiot a favor?"

True surprise crosses Bucky's face. "What?"

Steve has a confused look on his face, "she avoided me for the longest time after that."

"You're an idiot." Bucky says flatly.

"What?" Steve asks an offended look on his face, "why?!"

"She was so head over heels for you."

"Then why did she avoid me!"

"You're an idiot."

"Buchanan."

"No, no. Don't you start up with your petty name calling when you're the one who's blind." Steve glares at him, and Peter relaxes when Bucky smiles. "You had no idea the power you had over girls when you sang." Bucky says, leaning back into his chair, "she probably avoided you because she didn't want to jump your bones when she saw you."

"Buck!"

"Sorry Peter, I meant—" he pauses and then glares at Steve, "rip your clothes off with her teeth."

"BUCKY!"

The sheer red of Steve's face has all three of them laughing but Peter feels his own ears ringing red.

Steve is glaring at the wall and they're still laughing.

"Oh, come on, lighten up, Stevie." Bucky says with a grin, "be a good sport."

They stare at each other. Steve's face furrowed and annoyed, Bucky's grinning and relaxed.

But Peter watches as a switch happens. He watches Steve study his friends face, seeing the true happiness there and Steve can't help it. His face breaks out into an annoyed, but happy smile and he grabs one of the food cartons and stabs a fork into it.

"You're lucky I'm trapped in this bed."

"Ah, if only Peggy were here to hear you say that."

Peter watches as quick as a flash, the paper carton goes sailing out of Steve's hand and smacks against Bucky's face.

Wide eyes, and a shocked expression stare at Peter as General Tso's sauce drips down onto his lap. The room is deadly silent, except for the sound of Chinese food slipping towards the floor.

Bucky blinks slowly, his eyebrows raise in disbelief as he raises his right arm and wipes at his face.

Peter can't stop himself from letting out a surprised chuckle. He claps his hands over his mouth to stop it, but it's too late. The super soldiers' eyes turn towards him and he ducks his head sheepishly. "Sorry." He whispers out, mostly towards Bucky who is still sitting there in shock. Then without thought he asks, "is this how you guys were back then?"

The question surprises them, and he can see the uncertainty cross Steve's face as he glances at Bucky. But Bucky just grabs a stack of napkins and scrubs at his face, "yeah kid. Steve was as much of a little shit then as he is now."

"Big words coming from a man covered in sauce."

They glare at each other again and then Steve laughs, a softer less dangerous for his spine laugh, that has Peter relaxing and Bucky rolling his eyes. "Some things never change." Bucky says a bit softer.

"Yeah," Steve adds, grabbing another container. "Some things last forever."

"I hope I'm not stuck with you forever." Bucky moans.

Steve doesn't miss a beat before smiling and taking a bite of his food. "Nope, don't change your mind now. You already promised me at least 350 years. You've got a long ways to go."

"Don't remind me." He retorts in a joking tone.

Steve fakes being hurt before taking another bite. "Don't make me throw more Chinese food at you."

"Your funeral."

Steve doesn't notice that Bucky freezes after his words. Eyes flashing up to Steve who's still staring at his food. But Steve doesn't look up before he lets out a chuckle that's just dripping in sarcasm, "you could try."

Then Steve stops. His hands freezing and eyes unfocusing. He blinks back to life and swallows, trying to look distracted by his carton of food before saying "sorry."

"Shut up." Bucky says back. But the tone is strained instead of angry or joking.

Peter's mind is whirling, trying to figure it out when pieces of the puzzle click together: 'I've died four times', 'you promised me 350 years', 'stuck with you forever', 'you could try'.

Oh.

He glances up at the quiet super soldiers and a dread settles on his heart. Are they saying they can't or won't die for hundreds of years?

Unbidden the question falls from his lips, "what about me?"

This breaks them out of their reverie, "what about you, what Peter?" Steve asks.

Something like fear fills his chest as he asks, "if you guys can't die for a long time because of your healing factor… or even from what should be fatal events… what about me?"

Both of them stare at him for a long minute. Pity on Bucky's face, and distress on Steve's.

"I'm sure it's not the same." Steve says slowly, voice raw, "how's your aging?"

"I don't know." He says, panic in his tone, I've only had these powers less than few years."

"Only time will tell." Bucky says factually.

"Have you asked Tony?"

Peter shakes his head 'no'. "I hadn't thought of anything like that until you guys were joking about living super long."

Steve winces, "sorry." He says apologetically.

"We use humor to deflect." Bucky adds, "easier than knowing everyone around us will die before we do."

"Bucky, I swear—" Peter feels the panic cross his face and he can't take his eyes off of Bucky's face.

—

Okay. Maybe that was not the right thing to say to the kid. Now that he thinks about it, it was probably the worst thing to say to the kid. The panic is rising on his face and Steve's glaring at him furiously.

Oh yeah, they've had years to come to grips with their so-called "immortality". This kid is just realizing he may be on the same train.

Trains.

Sigh. Why does his brain always go to trains?

"Sorry, kid." He tries, "I'm sure it's not the same."

That doesn't seem to help. He watches as Steve reaches out, placing a hand on Peter's shoulder.

"Queens, you with me?"

The kid's voice is basically a squeak, "yeah."

"It's going to be fine. Like Bucky just said, it's probably not the same." He swallows thickly and Bucky watches the look on his friends face, the look that says, 'I need to tell the truth even if it's the worst idea possible', "and if it is.. hey, you, me, Bucky, probably Bruce, and Thor will stick around together for a long time."

"Probably me too." Wanda says slowly, "I, uh, I think I'll last a bit longer."

The admission has Steve's eyes widening, and something like a ghost of a smile crosses his features, "oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

He pats Peter's shoulder. "See? We'll have a whole gang."

Bucky watches as Peter relaxes just the tiniest bit, under Steve's grasp.

"Yeah," Peter says slowly, "it's probably not the same."

Bucky looks at Steve who's smiling, a confident expression on his face.

But Bucky knows that look. He's seen it a thousand times.

The look of a Captain, battle worn and tired. The Captain who is staring down at a man who's clearly dying and stills finds the will to say "you've done good soldier. Everything's going to be alright. Everything's going to be fine. We're gunna get you home."

Sometimes home is a wooden box with a flag draped over it.

Sometimes home has to be watching everyone you know die and not having the option to join them.