Mazenderan III: Act One Close
But if you love him, you'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
The front door finally squeaked open at half past three. Kaito walked in, drenched from head to toe and notably tie-less. He shook himself off, ready to just walk past and fall into bed, when he suddenly noticed the light on by the unlit fireplace, where Aoko was curled up with a book.
"You're still up?" Kaito asked, slipping out of his shoes and padding close.
Aoko ignored the question. "Bad night?"
"The worst." He moved in front of the wall's built-in air conditioning unit. It felt good on his swollen joints. Dare he say he was getting too old for this work? "Dropped the necklace in the sea and had to run away without it."
"Not a necklace."
"Sorry, rosary, my bad. Whatever…" He put his palms out to warm them too. "Tonight was the last night of the exhibit, too. What a waste of a trip."
Aoko closed her book. "We can still make the most of it. There's lots of things to see around here. I was just reading about this one castle called," she paused slightly to work on sounding out the foreign syllables as best as she could, "Falak-ol-Aflak. It's supposed to be really old and cool."
"Yeah, I saw that in the Travel Iran handbook, too. That's in Lorestan, Aoko. We're in Mazenderan. They're like ten hours apart." He crossed his arms, steaming even more deeply in his foul mood. "Not to mention it used to be a prison. You know how I feel about prisons."
She nodded, pondering her own thoughts in idle trepidation, before putting her book aside. "Can we talk?"
"Not now," Kaito said, slumping to the bedroom. "I'm tired."
The bedroom door shut behind him, and Aoko felt the loneliness of the past decade creep back in. He was always shutting her away. Even now.
She heard the shower run. He'd be quick. Everything he did was quick. Quick showers, quick costume changes, quick kisses…
At some point, she had to stop holding her breath hoping he'd change. He was too old to grow out of his bad moods and stupid urges. He wasn't going to change. He was going to keep being the jerk who never remembered that the world was bigger than just him.
But Kaito was a jerk who meant well. And Aoko knew he needed some prodding with these types of things. He needed her to put her birthday on the calendar in BIG COLORFUL LETTERS so that he could remember to set up the magic show of her dreams.
Gathering her last reserves of energy, she hopped off the couch and crept to the bedroom. The door squeaked open under her light touch, and she caught a glimpse of Kaito and his mop of wet hair just as he sank into the bed covers.
"We need to talk," she said this time. There was no question anymore.
Kaito sighed, casting weary eyes at her. "Can't it wait until the morning?"
"Yes," Aoko said. She let the unspoken But I Want To Tell You Now linger in the air until Kaito sat up and turned the light back on, giving her his full attention.
"What's up?" The question rolled off his tongue so easily. If only he knew how much he was going to regret asking. Ignorance was bliss, after all.
Aoko folded her hands together, palms sweaty. "I saw a doctor today."
"A doctor? Are you feeling okay?" He made a funny face. "You're not pregnant, are you?"
She rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated groan. "Kaito. Be serious. I'm trying to tell you something."
He let out a childish mumble that sounded something like I was being serious, Ahoko, I don't know what guys you've been hooking up with grumble grumble.
"I wasn't completely honest with you," Aoko said, ignoring his grumblings. She needed to just plow through and say it. "Years ago, before we got divorced, I was sick. I didn't tell you because… I don't know. I guess I didn't want you to use it against me to get Shinju, or to try to get back together because of it, or whatever. I don't know."
Kaito's face was straight – a practiced performer like him wouldn't allow surprise to show through – but she knew his tells. His eyes were full of hurt. God, she should have told him this earlier. "What are you saying? You're not – this isn't -?"
"It's cancer. Like my mom had," she ran a clammy hand through her hair. Why wouldn't it stop shaking? "I don't know if you remember her."
"A little?"
"She died the year before your dad died. We were seven." Aoko looked to the opened doorway, spotting the door down the hallway behind which her daughter was sleeping soundly. "Shinju's seven."
"But you're not…" Sick, Kaito wanted to say. And she wasn't, at least she didn't feel like it. She felt fine. Maybe a slight cough? But that was from the plane, wasn't it? The circulated air made everyone feel a little stuffy, didn't it?
"I was in remission for the past few years. I thought I'd beaten it for good. But the doctor today said it's back. He said," and suddenly she choked on her words, tears threatening to spill, "it might have spread to other parts of my body. It might not just be my lungs. God, Kaito, what am I going to do?"
"I'm going to," Kaito began, before stopping. "We'll figure it out. We'll fight it. Together."
Aoko closed her eyes. "We can't afford this."
"We can. We will. I'll put on some more shows, you'll get some more consulting work, we'll cut back on our expenses, we'll get the money -"
"We're doing the best we can already." Aoko shook her head. "I just don't think we can do this."
"We have to." Kaito had a sudden fire in his eyes. "You don't get to just roll over and let this thing kick your ass, Aoko. This isn't just about you."
Aoko tried to help him see reason. "I knew it was going to hurt you -"
"Hurt me? Fuck me! This isn't about me! This is about Shinju!" Kaito said. "We both know what it's like to lose a parent. You are not allowed to let Shinju know what that's like. Not yet. So we're going to figure this out and you're going to fight this thing like the badass motherfucker you are, and you're going to get better."
She wiped the tears from her eyes. When had they grown so hot? "I'm tired, Kaito."
"Yeah, I'm tired, too," Kaito turned the light off and rolled over in bed. "Night, Aoko."
He was obviously pissed. Aoko couldn't blame him. It was a crappy hand to be dealt – for all three of them. But he was right; this wasn't just about her. And Shinju needed her mother.
She crawled into bed after Kaito, his breath levelling out as unconsciousness rolled over him. He looked worried even in his sleep, like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Who was she to add another thing for him to be stressed about?
In the end, though, he handled the news far better than she would have in his position. And that was worth more than any stupid rosary.
And if you love him, oh, be proud of him
'Cause after all, he's just a man
.
AN: That concludes the Mazenderan chapters. Next up: a new city (with new problems)!