Mercifully, for once in their mad time-travelling lives, everything went perfectly to plan. Hamilton showed up safely to lead the raid. It went south. Jimmy, Simon and Barbara were nowhere in sight. They watched with varying levels of interest and horror as events started to unfold. Wyatt mostly stared at Lucy. Lucy turned away when people started getting hurt.
"What now?" Rufus asked."
Lucy's face screwed up in concentration. "Umm…"
"You can't seriously forget?"
"No, I just, uh…" she shook her head, trying to focus her mind. Words and facts were flipping and jumping all over the place, nothing coming together to from a full, proper thought. "This place will be swarming soon. I think."
"You think? How long do we need to wait?"
"Umm…"
"Lucy," Flynn urged. "Come on. This is the mission, right here, right now. Focus."
"Hundreds of people get involved," she rattled off. "People from the club, locals, Police… I… I think we're good. Things will definitely escalate like they should. We should leave before cars start getting flipped."
Wyatt perked up beside her. "Leave?"
"Home!" Rufus whispered reverently. "Finally. Let's get the hell out of here. I'll take the back seat with Lucy. Wyatt you're up front."
"But-"
"No. No way in hell are you two sitting in the back together."
They swiftly clambered into the Ford Pinto Flynn had acquired for them.
"Another junker?" Wyatt complained.
"We'll get you something nice next time," Lucy leaned forward patted his cheek.
"A 1950 Jaguar XK120," he sighed. "Or a '55 Mercedes 300SL… Me, you, top down, an open road…"
He turned his head to the side, lips pursed as she leaned further forward.
"Only you two could still find a way to make out," Rufus groaned as he grabbed Lucy by the shoulders and pulled her back to her seat, buckling her in.
"Hey!" Wyatt cried indignantly.
"That's Wyatt's job!" Lucy scolded, batting ineffectually at Rufus' hands.
"You brought it upon yourself."
Flynn was just starting to relax as they neared the end of the city, relieved they were finally going to leave the hellish mission behind, when a light came on in the dash and the car started to sputter.
"What is it?" Rufus asked, fear in his voice, not wanting another second of delay.
Flynn grit his teeth, ready for the flack he was about to get. "Gas."
"Gas!?"
"Yep. We're out of gas."
"You don't think you could've checked that as you were stealing the getaway car!? You know, find a car we actually CAN get away in!?"
Out of nowhere Lucy, in a jaunty character voice, suddenly yelled "I toldja we should've put more than five bucks in!"
The car went silent. Then Rufus burst out laughing.
"Lucy! I wouldn't have expected you of all people to like Spaceballs! Never mind quote it!"
"The Shwartz is strong within me," she shot back, making his cackle even worse.
Wyatt, temporarily shocked out of his buzz, gave Flynn a look. Flynn shrugged with the same tone of "No idea" on his face. Then from the corner of his eye he spotted a gas station and pulled in.
"While we're here, I gotta hit the john," Rufus announced while exiting the car. "Think we can leave you two alone for five minutes?"
"How much trouble could they get up to locked in the car for five minutes?" Flynn wondered.
"Oh, a whole lot can happen in five minutes," Wyatt smirked, looking back at Lucy who grinned like a cat who'd got the cream.
Rufus' face grew wary. "Wait… when you went out for ice, Lucy…"
"Wyatt went out for ice too," Flynn supplied.
"Did you guys..!"
"No, Rufus, geez," Wyatt scoffed. "In a hotel ice closet?"
"Well then?"
"There things you can still do to ease tension without actually having intercourse," he stated smugly.
"…Oh…" Rufus said after a long moment of silence. "But…" he continued, unable to let it go. "You were only gone like, five minutes."
"10 tops," Flynn corroborated.
"Yeah, well," Wyatt smirked. "A lot can happen in five minutes."
"Gross," Rufus' face screwed up. "What are you, 15? And what about Lucy, you jackass?"
"Lucy was just fine, thank you very much," she defended Wyatt, who smirked harder for it.
Rufus' eyebrows hit his hairline as he looked back at Wyatt, now impressed. "Really? You… in only five minutes?"
Wyatt held up two fingers proudly. "Twice."
Flynn made a noise in the back of his throat and abruptly left the car. "Time to fill up now."
Rufus watched him for a moment before turning back to Lucy, who should be smacking Wyatt for being a smug ass, or something, but was instead grinning at him like a fool. He was grinning right back.
"You two are nuts," Rufus declared. "We need to hurry up and get out of here because I swear you need to see a doctor or something."
As he started towards the little gas station shop in search of a bathroom Flynn heard him mutter "What would happen if I just doused myself in the gas and lit a match. Ugh."
As soon as all hands were on deck again Flynn floored it, navigating the night with seeming ease and getting them back to the forest where they'd hidden the lifeboat in record time. He breathed a sigh of relief as he got out of the car. Another second of Lucy and Wyatt's agitated, leg twitching, window tapping, frantic energy and he'd have thrown them out of the car. Now they just had a walk through the woods and they were home free.
Except of course the moment they were out of the car Lucy launched herself into Wyatt's waiting arms. Free of the mission and out of public sight their final thread of control snapped, and all rational thought was gone.
"We're not home yet!" Rufus reminded them but they didn't hear a word. "Fine. We'll just leave you then. See if I care. Soldiers and book worms aren't that hard to find."
He stormed off into the woods with Flynn beside him. They heard a whooping laugh, a high-pitched squeal, and then very loud and stumbling steps.
"Subtle like bulls in a China shop," Flynn observed.
"At least they're following us."
"I would not have relished having to carry them."
Rufus shuddered. "Yeah. No."
20 minutes later they finally arrived at the lifeboat itself. Rufus hurried inside to start it up, happily leaving Flynn the task of getting Lucy and Wyatt inside.
"I had to supervise the restaurant," Rufus reminded him. "It's your turn."
Flynn cringed as Wyatt tried to back himself up into the lifeboat, not wanting to lose contact with Lucy's lips for a second. Needless to say it was unsuccessful, though the couple were finding great amusement in the attempt.
"Wait wait, hold on," he chuckled against her mouth. "Gimme one sec."
"Nooo," she whined winding her arms tighter around his neck.
"One sec only! I promise!"
"Promise?"
"Yeah!"
He wrenched himself away from her and in a single leap pulled himself up through the door.
"You're so strong!" Lucy praised. "So fit and muscly and…"
Wyatt breamed and dropped onto his stomach on the floor of the life boat, body half out the door so he could lean down and kiss her. Her hands clung to his neck and she raised up on her tip-toes.
"Come on," he encouraged grabbing her hand and holding them tight in his. "Up we go!"
He pulled her clean off the ground and into the lifeboat like she weighed nothing. Flynn's eyebrows raised in surprise. Yes, Wyatt was strong and Lucy was tiny, but…
Lucy shrieked in delight as she landed in the lifeboat, right into Wyatt's arms.
"Okay guys, seatbelt time, one more passenger needs to get in." Flynn boldly climbed up, shoving them both into their seats and buckling them like they were kids in a minivan. They immediately tried to lean forward to each other but were caught by their seatbelts. They let out twin sighs of frustration and instead twined their hands together, stroking knuckles and squeezing.
"Let's get this nightmare over with," Rufus said. "I just thank God you guys can't actually kiss through this. I do not want your faces fusing together or something freaky as we travel through the unstable vortexes of space-time."
He hit the final button and they were off.
"Welcome home," Agent Christopher smiled as the door opened.
"Doctors, please!" Rufus shouted back.
Her face fell.
Mason jogged forward as Jiya flew out of her seat and ran forward as well. "What happened?"
"Rufus are you okay?"
"Flynn and I are fine."
"Wyatt and Lucy?"
"Well… see for yourself…"
Flynn hurried out and down the steps to give them a view.
Lucy and Wyatt had thrown their belts off the second they'd landed. Lucy was not straddling Wyatt in his seat, their tongues halfway down to the other's stomachs, as Rufus would put it.
"Oh my…" Mason breathed.
"Well that's different," Christopher hedged.
"Alright," Jiya grinned.
"No, unfortunately not alright," Rufus said as he ripped his friends apart and tried to shove Lucy out and down the steps. After several moments of awkward manhandling he succeeded. Wyatt bounded immediately after her, wrapping his arms around her from behind and attacking her neck. She yelped and wriggled in his arms.
"Tickles!" she squealed.
Wyatt laughed picked her up off the ground, twirling her around in a circle, making her laugh harder.
The non-time travellers could only watch, speechless.
Christopher shook herself out of her shock first, calling out to them but they didn't hear her over the sound of Lucy gasping.
"Wyatt," she breathed, holding a hand up to stop him as he leaned forward to keep kissing her. He kissed her palm instead, her fingertips as she spoke.
"Wyatt," she gazed around the room in wonder. "We're home!"
The soldier pulled back and looked around. "Oh. So we are."
"Home, Wyatt!" she repeated, urgency suffusing her voice.
He frowned down at her as he tried to glean her meaning. Then his eyes went wide and his mouth parted. "Home."
"Home!"
"Oh thank GOD!" he exclaimed. Then he grabbed her hand and the pair started to run, literally run, towards his room.
Christopher made a move to stop them.
"Let them go!" Rufus stepped forward and put a hand on her arm to prevent her from following. "Trust me, just let them go."
The Agent looked at Rufus, the question obvious in her eyes. Mason voiced it aloud.
"What the hell happened to them?"
"I need to sit down for this."
The engineer led them to the common room and everyone took a seat. There was a resounding crash from inside Wyatt's room followed by a peal of laughter. Rufus opened his mouth to start when there was another clang. Which turned into a regular rhythm of clanking.
"Oh god," Rufus dropped his head into his hands.
A very loud, very enthusiastic, female voice hit the room and filled the awkward silence.
"Shouldn't doors in a damn bunker be a bit more damn soundproof?" Flynn stood abruptly.
"I can't believe I'm saying this but perhaps we should relocate to the washrooms?" Mason suggested.
"Another door might help muffle the… well, might help muffle," Christopher nodded slowly.
"Anything to help. Anything," Rufus pleaded.
A minute later, five people stood in the cramped washroom, awkwardly shuffling to give everyone space as they each contemplated their bizarre situation.
"So," Christopher barked. "Explain."
"I think they were drugged," said Flynn. "They started acting strange yesterday evening and have only gotten worse since."
"Drugged? How? With what?"
"No idea."
"At first we figured they were just, y'know, working through their crap," Rufus started in. "But then they totally lost all sense of propriety and professionalism."
"How so?"
"It's like they didn't even remember or care that we were on a mission. We went to the Stonewall the first night to canvass the place and get whatever information we could, but they showed up with these locals, and it was like they were on vacation or something."
"Showed up with? You mean you separated."
Flynn nodded. "Yes, Rufus and I went to a couple police precincts while Lucy and Wyatt were supposed to get information on the Stonewall itself. They were late for our rendezvous that evening, and showed up in full party clothes with a gay couple and a blonde lady."
"A super hot blonde lady," Rufus added. Jiya elbowed him.
"Could those people have drugged them?" Mason asked.
"I don't know," frowned Rufus. "They seemed okay, actually. Just trying to enjoy what small freedoms they had. They ate and drank together I know, but Lucy and Wyatt said they only drank tea. It would make more sense that they were drugged at the club."
"But you said they were acting odd before you even got there?"
"Yes, but they could have just been swept up in things. The couple, Jimmy and Simon, were rather magnanimous, and you know how excited Lucy gets about history, and seeing how people actually lived. And Wyatt, well, when Lucy's happy…" he trailed off.
"You said things escalated?" Christopher continued.
"Yeah. They had a really weird night. I was rooming with Lucy while Flynn had Wyatt, but neither of them could go to sleep. They were like caged animals, unfocused, too much energy, short tempered. They each went to find the ice machine at some point and…"
Rufus looked to Flynn and the two men had a moment of silent communication.
"Well, I think they talked a bit, but when they came back to the rooms they still couldn't sleep. Through the whole morning they were wound so tight I thought they'd snap."
"Which they eventually did," Flynn interjected. "In the Museum of Modern Art. We were passing some time and it was all well and good until they started mauling each other in the middle of an exhibit."
"Oh?" Christopher's eyebrows rose.
"Yeah," winced Rufus. "And then they broke one of the pieces and got arrested."
"They what?" Mason cried.
"Well, the cop only managed to get one cuff on Lucy before Wyatt grabbed her and they ran for it."
"I feel like I'm hearing a movie script," Jiya shook her head. "This stuff doesn't actually happen in real life, does it?"
"No word of a lie," Rufus shook his head solemnly. "They just took off. Flynn and I lost them, as did the cop, thankfully, and we went back to our meeting spot to wait."
"They showed up hours later like nothing was even wrong," Flynn kept going. "Not concerned at all about the mission, or the consequences their actions could have brought. All they wanted was to simper at each other and commit further public indecency."
"They were like teenagers. Reckless, uncaring, impudent to the max."
"I went to get a car while Rufus watched them. Even when the raid finally happened they barely took note or cared. Lucy couldn't even remember what was supposed to happen or when. If anything had gone wrong… we might not have been able to fix it. She was totally compromised."
"We got back to the lifeboat as fast as we could, and, well… here we are."
A particularly loud bang echoed through the two layers of doors.
"Are we sure this was a good idea? Letting them…" Christopher nodded at the door.
"Yes." Flynn and Rufus assured in unison.
"I honestly think one or both of them might have had a stroke or an aneurism or something if they had to restrain themselves any longer."
"If they were drugged, what kind of harm do you think could be done?" asked Jiya. "I mean, besides the obvious."
"No clue," Flynn shrugged.
"I know someone I can call," said Christopher. She looked at the door and took a deep breath, steeling herself. "Wish me luck."
She hurried out of the bathroom, a shout of "Lucy!" and a long, sustained, feminine cry filtering in before she could close the door again, scarring their collective ears.
"Definitely our most awkward situation to date," Jiya stated.
"Mason," Rufus pleaded. "Can we just get them a hotel room or something? Seriously. Nothing will get done around here if this… this nonsense is allowed to continue."
"I'm afraid that's up to Agent Christopher. We'd need to see which hotels close by have availability, full camera system, hire a security detail for them…"
"Whatever it takes to get them the hell away from us!" Flynn urged.
"Yeah I mean I'm happy for them and all, but this is too much information even for me," Jiya admitted.
"As soon as she's back," Mason promised. "I'll do what I can."
The agent slipped back in several minutes later.
"Someone's on their way but it's going to take them at least two hours. Wyatt and Lucy are still…"
"Two hours!?" Rufus cried.
"It's the best they could do. It's not like I could call up any doctor from the nearest local clinic. Dr. Carter is highly specialized with extensive knowledge on drugs and drug interactions, both in the lab and on the streets. It will be worth the wait."
"If they don't screw themselves into a heart attack before then."
"Well if someone wants to volunteer to go pull them off each other…?"
The team went silent.
"That's what I thought. I'm sure they won't actually have heart attacks. Their… activities should be… relieving the stress."
"So what do we do for the next two hours then?"
"Anyone have any cards?" Flynn asked.
"Oh yes, I carry them in my pocket on every mission," Rufus rolled his eyes.
"I'll go get some," Christopher sighed. "I've already been into the fray."
She returned a minute later with cards, a crib board, and a stack of magazines. A shriek of "Wyatt!" followed her in.
"We are in a bathroom," Mason observed. "We could conceivably attempt to wash out our ears …"
To Be Continued…
Author's Notes: Oh boy...