Author's Notes: Yes, I'm still here, and now so is your semi-finale! We're only getting more ridiculous as we go. But hallelujah, at least we're home and safe and Lyatt can't mess up history with their horniness! I hope you're still enjoying this little tale of mischief and mayhem.
With a message that the doctor would arrive within ten minutes, the team finally faced the reality that they would have to get Lucy and Wyatt to emerge from his room. The team looked around at each other, each knowing what had to happen but no one wanting to admit it.
"Drawing straws it is," Christopher sighed.
"We're in a bathroom. There's no straws."
"Fine then, pick a number between one and 50."
"Are we children?" Flynn asked.
"Do you have a better idea? Would you like to volunteer?"
Flynn's mouth clapped shut and he took a step back. "Nope."
"Alright then. Everyone… pick a number."
Jiya approached Wyatt's door as if she were approaching a wild bear. She could no longer hear any noises coming through, but she knew better than to assume what that could mean. She tip-toed closer, slowly reaching her hand out, squeezing her eyes shut and ready to just yell at them to come out when the door burst open of its own accord.
"Oh! Hey Jiya!"
She opened her eyes to see Lucy, eyes bright in her flushed face, hair wild, and wearing one of Wyatt's button up plaid shirts. Only the shirt, with far too few buttons done up to be in any way useful. Her hair was wild about her face, cascading down her back in tangled, flowing waves.
"Oh hey Lucy," Jiya smiled awkwardly. "We, um…"
Lucy barrelled right past her, practically floating.
"I'm just grabbing some tea real quick," she said. "Be out of your hair again soon!" She pulled a bag of loose leaf tea from the breast pocket of the shirt.
"Um, no, actually, I'm sorry, you can't be."
"What do you mean?" Lucy laughed breezily as she set about putting the kettle on.
"Well there's a, uh, Doctor, coming to see you and Wyatt. She'll be here any minute."
Lucy laughed again. "A Doctor? Why would we need to see a doctor? We're good. We're more than good. I mean, we are so-"
"Yes, I'm sure you think you are, but we think you two haven't exactly been yourselves lately, and we're worried, and we just want you to get checked out. For our sakes. Can you help us with that?"
Lucy continued on as if she hadn't heard a word, picking out a mug from the cupboard. "Did you know that Wyatt can-"
"LUCY!" Jiya barked.
Lucy jumped, squeezing the mug. It shattered. The sudden noise and cascade of broken ceramic seemed to jolt her out of her haze.
"Oh. Woops."
Jiya's jaw dropped. What the hell? Lucy had just crushed the mug, with her dainty little hand, like it was made of paper maché.
"I'll clean it!" Lucy promised, bending over to the floor.
"Nope, that's okay," Jiya lunged forward and hauled her upright. They did not need the Doctor arriving to an eyeful of Lucy's bare backside. "We can do it. I need you to go get Wyatt. And put on some clothes. Can you do that for me?"
"I'd rather just-"
"I'm sure you would but remember, this is to help us out, okay? Just a few minutes."
Lucy made a face. "A few minutes?"
"Just a few."
"I can have my tea."
"Sure. Tea break. Awesome. Now go get dressed."
"Clothes suck," the historian declared as she slouched back to Wyatt's door and disappeared behind it. Jiya prayed the couple would emerge soon, clothed and coherent.
The Doctor arrived before either of them appeared, two large bags in her hands. She was a tall woman in her early 50's with short blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. The team immediately felt at ease. She exuded a no bullshit attitude. A woman who would get things done.
"Hello everyone. I'm Doctor Amanda Carter. I understand this is a delicate situation and there might be answers you can't give me. Let's all just work together as best we can to help your friends."
The team introduced themselves and handshakes were quickly given.
"Where are my patients?"
All eyes turned to Jiya.
"Moment of truth," Jiya mumbled to herself as she knocked on Wyatt's door loudly then cautiously entered. Dr. Carter was right behind her.
The bed had been shoved into the corner of the room. Wyatt was currently sitting on it with his back against the wall. Lucy was sitting on top of him. They were happily, as Flynn had put it, mauling each other. The room was in shambles, the bedding tossed haphazardly, lamps shattered and broken, several pairs of shoes in odd places. It looked like a bomb had gone off.
"At least they're finally wearing clothes," Jiya smiled, wide and fake.
Wyatt tore his face from Lucy's and peered over her shoulder at them, squinting at the flood of light from the common room. "Jiya?"
Lucy twisted around. "Oh, Jiya! I got distracted."
"So we can all see."
"We got dressed!"
"Good for you."
"Clothes suck."
"So you've said."
The historian turned and went back to kissing Wyatt.
"Your tea is ready," Jiya said loudly, stepping into the room. "We agreed it was tea time, remember? Come on out. Just a few minutes."
Wyatt groaned. "Do we have to?"
"Yes! Now!"
With much grumbling and theatrics, they untangled themselves and shuffled out of the room, hands clasped firmly together.
The team wrangled them onto separate chairs, out of touching distance, while the Doctor delved into her bags, pulling out various instruments and lining them up on the coffee table.
"Alright then. Denise said they've been acting strange for almost two days now?
"That's right," Rufus nodded.
"And you suspect they were drugged. Any idea with what, or how?"
"No idea."
"And you can't tell me where?"
"Afraid not," Flynn shook his head.
Carter moved to Lucy first, starting in on basic testing. Blood pressure, pulse, eye dilation etc.
"I'll have to get blood samples," she announced, moving to pick up a needle.
"Hey!" Wyatt growled, leaping out of his seat.
"It's for your own good," Flynn slapped a hand on his chest and sat him back down.
"Don't you touch me," Wyatt snarled standing right back up.
"Woah, guys," Mason chuckled nervously. "We don't need any of that, now, do we?"
Flynn put his hands up in the air, backing away. Wyatt fumed, looking like he was about to charge him when Lucy piped up.
"Wyatt."
He looked at her for a long, intense moment then cursed. He turned his back to Flynn and grabbed his chair, roughly knocking it over in frustration. It broke, chair legs and armrests scattering across the floor.
The Doctor's eyes went wide.
"Holy crap, man," Rufus startled.
"Lucy broke a mug," Jiya blurted. Everyone turned to look at her. "Earlier. She was holding it in her hand and then squeezed it and it just dissolved."
The Doctor let out a laugh. "Are you trying to imply that your friends were drugged and now have super strength?"
Jiya frowned. "Well, no, of course not, but…"
"Why not?" Rufus asked. "Happens all the time in…"
"In comic books and TV shows," Christopher rolled her eyes. "Not in real life."
Rufus harrumphed and crossed his arms.
"Oh right, the mug!" Lucy perked up as if just remembering. She stood up, ignoring the Doctor's protest and walked towards the kitchen counter, grabbing a new mug and setting the kettle to re-boil quickly. "It's our special stuff!" she winked.
"Yes, tea!" Wyatt grinned widely and moved to help her.
"Woah there big boy," Rufus intercepted him. "Down. It's your turn with the Doc."
Mason stepped up and helped Rufus manhandle Watt into a new seat. He fidgeted and twitched through the exam, eyes never leaving Lucy's form. When she presented him with a mug of steaming tea his eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas.
"Thank you, Lucy," he grinned dopily. "You make the best tea."
She giggled and clinked her mug to his. "Cheers."
As the Doctor continued to administer tests, take notes, draw blood, and consult her tablet, the pair grew more and more agitated. They asked if they were done every two minutes, tried to stand and leave several times and constantly tried to reach for each other.
"They're worse than my kids," Christopher shook her head at one point.
They finally snapped when the Doctor suggested she'd like to keep them in isolated rooms for a while.
"What?" they both yelled. "What the hell will that accomplish?" "There's no reason to." "There's no way."
They continued to argue over each other, other members of the team joining in until the room was echoing with ire.
"That is ENOUGH!" Lucy finally screamed, punching out in frustration at her now empty tea mug. Her hand moved through it like it was water, shattering it into a thousand little pieces, several of which embedded into her knuckles.
"Lucy!" two voices rang out, Wyatt and Flynn both flying to her side.
"Get out of my way," Wyatt pushed Flynn.
"You're the one who's crazy," Flynn growled. "I'm the one who can help her."
"No way, man," Wyatt pushed him again. "She's mine."
"Oh for God's sake." Flynn tried to move Wyatt out of the way. Wyatt punched him anyways, right in the stomach. Flynn flew backwards, his body caving, breath leaving him in a rush as he stumbled and fell to the floor. He righted himself, fury in his eyes, before striding forward and slapping Wyatt across the face.
"Snap out of it, man!" Flynn commanded.
"Don't you touch him!" Lucy shrieked. She leapt at Flynn, grabbing him by his shirt collar and lifting him clean off the ground, the force of her attack moving them several steps backwards until he was slammed against the wall.
"Don't touch him!" she repeated, eyes red with rage as Flynn grabbed at her wrists and tried to break her grip.
It took Mason, Rufus and Christopher working together to pull her off the former NSA asset. He let out a breath of relief as his feet finally hit the ground. There was blood on his collar from where Lucy had gripped him.
"Lucy!" Wyatt's voice was a plaintive cry. Her body deflated at the sound of his voice, all anger vanishing from her eyes as she moved back to his side.
"Are you okay?" she asked, hands running over his face searching for damage.
"Are you okay?" he snagged her hand, the one that had bled onto Flynn's collar, with his, morosely assessing the damage.
"Can't even feel it," she assured him.
"Still have to clean it."
"Later."
"But…"
She slammed her mouth into his. He shut up.
"Flynn is like, a foot taller and weighs twice as much as Lucy!" Rufus exclaimed, looking at the Doctor. "How the hell did she just do that?"
Even the Doctor looked taken aback. "Well, adrenaline can do incredible things to the human body. There have been instances of people lifting cars in life or death situations."
"This wasn't exactly life or death though."
"They are definitely experiencing symptoms of extreme emotional response."
"No kidding. It's like they're bi-polar or something. One minute up, one minute down."
"Well a drug can't really make someone suddenly bi-polar like that, but it can certainly influence testosterone levels, adrenaline, hormones, including ones like endorphins… Something could be interfering with their neurotransmitters, the messengers used by the nervous system to convey information across chemical synapses."
"Which all means…?"
"I'd rather not say yet. I need to test their blood samples. It'll be a few hours more before results will be ready."
"A few hours?" Jiya said. "What do we do with them in the meantime?"
"Do they have to stay here or can they be relocated?" asked Mason. "We have some very important work to do and the walls are rather thin around here and, well…"
"If you can manage to move them, then go ahead, though it goes without saying you'll need to proceed with caution. Just let me know the address."
Hopeful eyes turned to Agent Christopher, who thankfully approved. "We'll move them out ASAP, set up security and the like on the way."
The team looked over to their afflicted friends. Lucy was flat on her back on the couch, her pants missing, bare legs wrapped around the waist of a now shirtless Wyatt.
"ASAP!" Christopher repeated, her voice an octave higher than usual.
A team of agents mercifully showed up due haste, removing the afflicted persons out with military efficiency. As the residents of the bunker watched, Jiya had a sudden thought.
"Their tea…"
"What was that, babe?" Rufus asked.
"Their tea!" she cried again. "They said they only drank tea at their friends' place, but you guys said they were wacky by the time you met them. And since they've been back, all they've cared about is each other… and their tea!"
"You think a cup of tea could be the cause of all this?" asked Mason, offended by the thought of tea being the culprit.
"Why not? Plus, I saw Lucy take a bag of loose-leaf tea out of her pocket to make. It wasn't any of the ones we keep in stock here."
"You think they smuggled back tea from the-" Flynn caught himself. "From overseas?"
"Orally ingested drugs can be very powerful," the Doctor nodded.
"Test it," ordered Denise.
"On it."
The agents tasked with transporting Wyatt and Lucy to their hotel were all advised that the less of a scene they could cause, the higher their bonuses would be. They decided to divide and conquer. One agent took care of the check-in, flashing his federal badge liberally as the receptionist questioned the situation. A wall of four other agents pushed and prodded the pair, who refused to separate for even a second, into an elevator and barred any further guests from joining them. Despite their federal request of a room close to the elevator, with such short notice the only room they could get was at the end of not one but two separate hallways. By the time they'd wrangled the couple to their room, they were holding armfuls of three shoes, two shirts, a belt, and a piece of art they'd knocked off a wall. With a shouted warning that someone would be by to check them in the morning, they slammed the door shut. The five agents let loose a collective sigh, two of them leaning back against the door. A sudden bang against the door followed by a loud squeal forced them off of it.
"Never had I thought, when I signed up…" one of them said.
"I hear you," another nodded.
"When does the shift end?"
"Not soon enough."
"Drinks after?"
"Hell yes."
They took up their various posts flanking the door, down the hall, and by the elevators. The two by the door quickly texted their later replacements.
Bring earplugs.
Lucy squealed with laughter again as Wyatt tripped trying to tear his pants off. He careened into her and she thumped back against the door again. He pulled away in a rush to apologize but was interrupted by a gasp from Lucy. Faces barely a few inches apart he scanned her face for what was wrong.
"You're so pretty!" she exclaimed, eyes intensely wide, as if she couldn't believe what she saw.
He startled. "Whaaaat?"
"Yeah!" she insisted, staring at him like she was trying to drown in his gaze. "Like Ken!"
"Who's Ken?"
"Ken doll!"
"Whaaat?"
"Yeah! Like, your eyes are just so blue! You're too pretty to be real!." she giggled and swept her hands over his face in awe.
"Nah," he shook his head bashfully.
"You are to me!" she smiled widely and smacked a kiss against his lips.
"Well if I'm Ken then you're Barbie!" he laughed, suddenly picking her up and spinning her in a wide circle. She whooped and howled with laughter.
"Barbie's impossible!" she giggled. "It was proven! Her measurements aren't physically possible for a human!"
"Well you're superhuman!"
"No I'm not!"
"Yup you are. We both are."
"How do you figure?"
"We travel through time and save the world, don't we?"
"That would make us superheroes, not superhuman."
"We're both!" he declared. "Cause I think you're super beautiful, and super smart, and super adorable, and super awesome, and..."
She kept giggling all the way to the bed.
To Be Continued…
Oh lord, can I roll my eyes any further at them? *Facepalm* But at the same time... awwww aren't they so sappy and cute and totally out of their minds. Poor rest of the team... Anyone out there looking forward to the final chapter? Predictions, theories? Any real scientists want to take apart and destroy my attempted scientific explanations? Hahaha. I swear I did research, as I always do when possible.
Endless thanks as always for reading and supporting the Timeless Fandom. I'll be around and long as you are too!