The Impossible Dream

"And so I've been busy recording a few original songs here, a few covers there, and worked with TAKU INOUE for a song of his!" Suisei explained to a very astonished Miko.

"All at once?! Sounds like you got a lot on your plate, Sui-chan." The virtuan thought, I feel tired just thinking about all of that, as she wiped away sweat from the early June heat.

"It is," she conceded. "I've got my hands full, but I think it'll all pay off soon enough."

"I bet it will. If you ever release an album, I'm definitely buying it!"

"...Ah, thanks. That means a lot, Mikochi," she admitted, ignorant of her faint blush.

"But, uh, why do you keep spending so much time with me? I don't mind or anything, but why not someone else from hololive, or that friend of yours in Nijisanji? Heck, wouldn't it be nice to just sit back and relax at home?" You already have so little free time. Why use it like this?

The other girl slumped, propping her head against one hand. "I would, but Anemachi keeps bugging me to leave the apartment every once in a while. Besides, nobody puts me at ease as easily as you, Mikochi." Suisei took a moment to sip her ice-cold drink.

The girl teased, "Nobody, huh? That desperate to be in the presence of the Elite Miko?"

The cometzen leaned inward as she snarked, "Nah. You're more like a cat at one of those cat cafes." Then, she cutesily added in, "Who's a good widdle ewite? You, yes you, Mikochi~!"

Miko mirrored her approach, nearly brushing noses. "Why you-! Say that again!"

Only then did they realize their mutual violation of each other's personal space and jerked themselves away from the warmth of each other's face, replaced with a burning on their own. The pair turned away from each other, each person only periodically peering at their peer as an awkward aura ambling in the air brought the conversation to a hard stop.

Suisei suddenly shot up from her seat. "Ah! I hear an idol meeting calling me!"

"Go ahead, Sui-chan." As Miko watched her leave towards the bathroom, she reflected, I don't remember her doing this back when we were practicing for VILLS Vol. 2, only this year...

In all honesty, Miko couldn't figure out why Suisei excused herself every time they hung out. At first, she joked that the cometzen had both a small… (you-know-what) as well as a small bladder, but the more consistently it happened, the more concerned she grew for the bluenette.

At one point, the pinkette even briefly wondered if she had bulimia, only to catch herself thinking such an absurd thought. She reasoned, That's nonsense. Sui-chan's always fit, and she's one of the most self-confident people I know. There's no way she'd ever do something like that.

She reflected, She's always chasing her dreams. I can't help but admire that the most...

With what she learned that day, she could reasonably assume that the shooting star simply needed to answer a call on one of the many projects she had going on. With how much effort the shining idol had been exerting, it made sense that she wouldn't miss any important calls. Though relieved, the shrine maiden couldn't help but worry about Suisei overworking herself.

Miko wasn't sure when it started, but her anxiousness to find her unknown heartthrob slowly melted away. If she had to guess, that pressure started slipping from her mind around April. She hadn't even done that many collabs then. The only ones that came to mind, at least on her channel, were Bomberman with Noel and Monster Hunter with Luna, Lamy, and Suisei. But a mere one-time collab shouldn't have been enough to sate her searching and put her at ease...

By the end of May, Pekora also stopped goading her to try spending time with everyone in hololive just to make sure they didn't miss anyone. When she asked the rabbitfolk, the royal rabbit disclosed that she was trying to gauge what the others thought of Miko when the shrine maiden wasn't around.

Based on her annoyed expression, the once-digital idol guessed it wasn't going well, but she also couldn't help but think some of that ire was directed towards her. If only she knew why Pekora seemed so bizarrely peeved as she gave her explanation.

By June, after months and months of rousing to the same dusting of blue rose petals, the Hanahaki was slowly starting to accumulate. What was once a number she could count with her fingers became a handful, and then that handful became a literal mouthful. What was worse, some petals came out stained with tiny marks of dry blood!

. . . . .

The earth elf's ears twitched worryingly as she stated, "This is not good. If the petals have blood on them, then the plant has started to grow over your respiratory system!"

"I, I see. And is there any way I can keep myself from vomiting flowers in public?" She did her best to remain calm, though her quivering form negated her bravado.

Miko also considered getting the Hanahaki removed. She reasoned, It can't be too bad to get surgery, right? If my love becomes problematic, then removing it would solve everything.

But at the same time, the hopeless romantic in her pleaded to reconsider. She wanted to see this all the way through to the end: either wrapped up in sweet fluff or buried in death flags.

Her doctor handed her a slip of paper. "This is a prescription for a medication that will exhaust you just enough to distract you from love, making the Hanahaki less likely to trigger. Take two capsules orally only when necessary, and always wait three hours before retaking."

A prescription for a disease racking both mind and body would naturally consist of both actual medicine and placebos, for it was as important for the user to believe the medication was working as it was for the medicine to actually work. Of course, the patient couldn't be told this. Furthermore, the use of placebos reduced the likelihood of a legitimate malaise, which would lead to both a major decrease in productivity and a general apathy.

Before Miko stepped out of the office, the elf gave her one final warning. "Assuming you remain at this stage, I estimate that you have at most a year left. As you are well aware, this disease can progress sporadically, so if it does end up developing further, prepare accordingly. Please, if you plan to confront this person, do so as soon as possible."

The yearning girl merely nodded before returning to her own world of troubles.

Miko sighed. She had just finished her last English lesson from her senpai, at least for the next 500 years. She didn't know why Coco wanted to go on vacation for that long. Hell, she didn't know if virtuans could live for that long, given that the Internet, and thus the virtual world she came from, wasn't even 40 years old.

Social media would always let them stay in touch, but it just wasn't the same as meeting up in person or doing a stream together like they used to do.

Checking Discord, the girl spotted a DM from Pekora. Clicking the rabbitfolk's profile picture, she found a message containing only a Youtube link and the autofilled info below it.

She immediately recognized the person in the thumbnail as Hoshimachi Suisei, wearing a stylish dress divided into two major parts: a white upper vest with gold accessories, and a blue ribbon and blue ball gown from the waist down. It was the exact shade of blue as Miko's petals.

The script on the thumbnail was hard to read, so her eyes turned to the provided title. She slowly read it out loud. "Bl-, Blue, ...Bluerose?! There's no way… This has to be a coincidence."

And yet, the thumbnail alone was enough to tug at her heartstrings. Perhaps her own heart pulled the strings that made her fingers click the 'play' button and fullscreen the video.

The opening instantly drew Miko in, from the bits of guitar to Suisei's faint sound bites. Then Suisei's voice entranced her, letting the shrine maiden leave all of her preconceived fears of her genmate behind as she simply started enjoying the song.

Looking closer, she noticed that the gown seemed to be made of blue rose petals as well. Meanwhile, Suisei's lyrics hit a soft spot in Miko's heart, as if she always wanted to hear them.

Yet those words felt... hollow. As if on first glance, everything that should be there, from truth to passion, was there, save for two core ingredients: intimacy and sincerity. Maybe it was because the song was streamed to hundreds of thousands of people, ruining what should've been a private moment. Whatever the case, she didn't feel like it was quite enough for her.

Wait, why am I thinking so hard about this? It's not like I'm in love with her, right? …I'm not, right? She questioned why she couldn't say 'yes' to that.

As the second verse began, a scorching irritation crept up her throat, similar to the itch she always dreamt of before waking up to those petals. Except this time, it overwhelmed her.

Why is it acting up now?! Right in the middle of Sui-chan's… no. NO, this… this has to be a lie! I can't possibly- Not with someone like her! Not Hoshimachi!But even as she lied to herself, the Hanahaki proved her otherwise. A waterfall of blooming blue roses, all coated in fresh blood, cascaded onto her desk and dripped onto the floorboards.

In her blind panic, she completely forgot about the medication, or even about pausing the video. She only had enough self-awareness to rip the headphones off of her head before collapsing to the ground and coughing up about a lungful of blossoms and a cupful of blood.

Unable to get up, various thoughts surged forth in her mind. Blue roses, a sign of someone doing the impossible, reaching their dreams. Is that what being an idol meant for Suisei? Is that why she named the song that? Why she chose that dress?

Then these flowers, did I always think that she'd get this far? Is that how I came to link them to her?

They're… perfect for her. Kinda prickly, but still sweet and beautiful… *hurk*

At the thought of the bluenette's charms, the Hanahaki grew ever more fervently, choking her lungs and strangling her heart as if to kill her then and there.

I need help! But no one else's home… Usada! I gotta call Pekora!

After choking on petals for about eight minutes, Miko managed to pick herself up and started a voice call with Pekora, who immediately picked up and answered with a smug chuckle.

The rabbitfolk teased, "Have you pekhaps finally changed your mind on her?"

Only faint wheezing and crys could be picked up on her microphone.

"S-Sakura?! Are you okay?" This time, a shrieking retching answered the horrified girl.

She continued anxiously, "I'll… I'll be there right away. Don't move!"

As Pekora hastily ended the call, Miko had calmed down enough to fully grasp the truth.

Oh my gods, I was in love with Sui-chan this whole time! Pekora's right! I feel like such a FAQing idiot… No wonder the Hanahaki's been getting worse. But, what does she think of me?

Miko reflected on all of the things she's done with Suisei, and everything the latter said.

Her wanting to get closer to me, the many hangouts we've had… That can't be her wanting to be just friends. Does she love me back?! Is that it? Then why do I still have this?!

But she would be lying to say that believing Suisei loved her back, even if the latter didn't admit anything of the sort, suppressed the aching in her heart, curbing the blossoms a bit.

Pekora managed to get to her house within the hour. Luckily, Miko's family was off visiting relatives, so she let her friend in without any need for excuses. When the door opened, the bunny girl recoiled at the sight of her friend.

The resident looked disheveled, a pale white blanketing her face as large beads of sweat mixed with dried tears from her bloodshot eyes. She gave a weak grin through bloodstained lips. The accursed flowers trailed back to her room. Pekora wordlessly decided to tidy up for her.

The bunny-eared girl escorted her back to the bedroom and went off in search of trash bags for the spilt flowers as well as cleaning supplies to wash away the scarlet stains.

As Pekora cleaned the mess, Miko finally found the medicine bottle and popped two pills into her mouth. The searing pain in her throat stopped as she guzzled down some water.

Once all evidence of the pinkette's passionate outburst was removed, they took a minute to contemplate their next course of action. Miko spoke first, though she didn't seem confident.

"Now that I know it's her… There's no way. Confessing won't do me any good now."

Pekora gasped. Then she collected herself and exclaimed, "Well why not! I've watched you two for months now, and it's clear to me that she's as in love with you as you are with her! She just hasn't admitted it for some reason."

She frowned at her friend. "I figured that out, but I'm still stuck with this shitty sickness! Which means that I need her to say it up front. She doesn't have the time for that. For me."

"No time? For you? W-what do you mean?" Of all the reasons Pekora theorized why the girl would stay passive, she didn't expect that. And that new possibility terrified her to her core.

"I mean that I'd just slow her down! I can't ever keep up with someone like her. She's been recording songs nonstop, Usada! She does what she wants, regardless of what anyone thinks! If I confess," The lovesick girl paused to fish a stray blood-soaked blossom out of her mouth and hurl it at the open bag at the foot of her bed.

She continued, "If I tell her, I'd get in her way, and then she'd leave me behind as well."

"There, there has to be something you can do. Maybe you could go camping together-" Miko hushed her with an empty smile, looking defeated but accepting of her inevitable fate.

"Thanks for the help, Pekora. Now I finally know who I'm in love with. At least this way, I can stay by her side until the end." As her business partner, if nothing else, she solemnly noted.

Pekora refused to leave her like this, with that bittersweet smile still plastered on her face, so she demanded to at least stay for the night. A few calls to their relatives later, and Miko went to fetch a spare bedroll for her friend.

The rabbit was the first to shut her eyes, leaving Miko to stare at her monitor, which autoplayed one of Suisei's Tetris 99 streams. She clicked back to Bluerose and watched it again, this time without the bloodied gums and roses, without any untimely longings for the bluenette.

It's such a good song, though. Maybe I could ask her if I could sing it onstream one day...

Surprisingly, collaboration streams with Suisei came easy to Miko. Maybe it was constantly having to glance at and respond to Chat every once in a while, or maybe it was having some task she could focus on. Whatever the case was, the virtuan didn't feel the need to hack up entire rose garlands as she played Super Bunny Man with the astral idol only five days later.

Yet only minutes after the stream ended, the full weight of her feelings came crashing back down on her all at once. What once would've been a few precious minutes to relax and engage in idle chatter with Suisei was replaced with an eternity of tense silence between the two. Ultimately, someone had to end it, and Suisei decided it would be her.

"So… have you listened to my latest song Bluerose?" (The master of self-advertising strikes again, this time targeting a crowd of one person. Sasaga Sui-chan.)

Miko lied, "Uh, not yet. Haven't had the chance to." At least a dozen times, she reflected.

"Aw, really? I was hoping I could get your opinion…" Miko could practically feel Suisei's shoulders droop from her disappointed tone alone. Nonono, don't be sad. Let me help!

"Ah, y'know what? Since you're here, why not sing it for me? It'll be good practice for karaoke!" Maybe she can sing her feelings out here. Maybe that will-

"I- Miko, I'm sorry. I already scheduled a recording session for another song in thirty minutes. I gotta go now. Maybe we can find another time?"

"..."

"Miko? You there?" She sounded afraid, as if she just heard the *click* of a landmine beneath her feet.

"I understand, Sui-chan." The virtuan ended the call, cursing herself as she determined, I knew it. Not a moment to spare for me.

. . . . .

Miko found it even easier to mask her true feelings in group collabs, thanks to the other people that could distract her from Suisei. Flare and Polka's antics kept her mind busy, but there was one moment in Shiraken's Minecraft stream that nearly got her spewing bloody roses in front of the 35P: miComet's 'business teetee'. Or rather, it was Miko imagining about them actually being togetherthat almost triggered it. And she didn't need to read Pekora's text to know how upset their baby talk made her. She was furious at herself once the livestream ended!

A few days later, Miko and her secret crush met up at a cat cafe that the former suggested, and they destressed by enjoying drinks as they pet the assorted collection of kitties.

"I wonder if Kintoki's gonna be mad if I come home smelling like other cats…"

"Probably," Suisei answered. She quickly started puppeteering the kitten she held and spoke in a squeaky tone, "Oh, Miko! Have you been seeing other cats? Am I… not enough for you?" Her added puppy dog eyes overwhelmed Miko, who couldn't stand staring into them.

"Quit it! There's no way I'd cheat on him like that, or on anyone else for that matter!"

"Says the one who said we should go to a cat cafe. And didn't you say you wanted a blond boing-boing harem? Or is that goal what you're never gonna betray?"

"And what if that's all an act, huh? What if… my heart's set on someone who's not like that at all?" Although she felt like dying after saying that, her business partner simultaneously blushed and turned pale. Maybe she'd still get that confession yet…

"Eh, eh... Eh? Wh-what's this all about, Sakura?" Judging by the contorted face Suisei bore, she couldn't decide whether to feel flustered or insulted, so she instead excused herself.

"Hm, it's about time I attended that meeting. Yes, can't keep them waiting." Suisei rushed towards the upper floor's rest room, leaving the calico behind to nuzzle itself against Miko's leg.

Good timing on that idol meeting. The Elite tensed up as she fumbled through her bag for the bottle of pills. Looking around to see if nobody was staring at her, she discreetly slipped three pills into her mouth, and then washed them down with her milk tea. If only she counted right…

The medicine worked as intended. Too well, in fact. Minutes later, the unlucky idol was hit with an overwhelming apathy. She couldn't even find it in her to enjoy the beverage she'd been eagerly guzzling down nor the half-eaten taiyaki, so she put them aside. Suisei returned soon after, looking a tad worn out from whatever business she had to take care of.

"Sorry that meeting ran on a bit longer than expected." She stopped in her tracks as she spotted the utter gloom on the shrine maiden's face.

"What's wrong, Miko? You didn't already crash from all the sugar you stuffed in that drink, did you?" Though she meant to joke, the shakiness in her voice exposed her concern.

"I'd… rather not say. Just forget about it." She couldn't feel anything but tired.

"Sakura. Please, you can tell me anything. We're partners, after all."

No matter how embarrassed or flustered Miko would've felt, she didn't feel either of it. Rather, anything that would trigger these reactions only further sapped her of her energy.

Miko sleepily muttered, "I'm getting tired. I think it's time I headed home."

"Aww, does Mikochi need a widdle nappy? Do ya? Do ya?" She grabbed her sleeve.

The pinkette aggressively shook herself free. "I'm serious, Hoshimachi! See you next time." She stormed out, leaving the comet a comradeless companion for the cats.

. . . . .

"You just left her like that?! Talk about raising a death flag, Sakura." Even though she meant to comfort her friend, Pekora couldn't help but facepalm at the Elite's dumb play.

"What was I supposed to do? I was in a rush to take 'em… And don't jinx me like that! It's terrifying to be in this sort of situation, you know!"

"You're the one who keeps backing out! Geez, it's like you're waiting for a lucky ticket to come in the mail." Pekora wished she opted for a video call to display her disappointment.

The mail? Ah, right, Miko suddenly remembered. I still haven't opened that yet.

"Oh yeah, that reminds me. I haven't opened this envelope A-chan handed to me. She said she was told to give it to me by someone else," she explained as she picked up the sealed and unmarked letter on her desk. I wonder who it's from, if they can't even leave their name on it.

"Well then? Open it! Who knows what's inside," Pekora asked hurriedly.

With a gulp, Miko messily ripped the top open. Digging inside, she found a VIP backstage pass inside for an event on August 21st.

"The Grand Presentation of Hoshimachi Suisei's Mini Live," She read the title out word for word, slightly confused at the wording. She speculated, What makes this 'grand'? And is she trying to apologize? But this doesn't feel like Suisei's doing. She would've done this herself.

"Well? You gonna go?" Compared to her previous attitude, Pekora sounded hopeful now.

"How did you-?" Miko wondered, Did you know this would come in, Usada?

"I didn't," Pekora interrupted. "But an opportunity like this doesn't just come everyday."

"... Why ask A-chan to deliver it to me? Why not just hand it to me herself?"

Pekora herself sounded a bit unsure of how to answer that question.

"Well, probably the same reason she didn't just say she loves you straight up. Being too shy and embarrassed and all that."

"I guess, but I still don't think this'll be a good time to tell her."

"Miko, this is what she's been practicing ages for. The show's gonna be one of the best yet, so just enjoy it. Then you can surprise her with a confession after the show."

"But she'll be exhausted right after-"

"Yeah, and she'll have some time right after the Live to rest. Meaning that's the perfect chance for you to squeeze yourself into her schedule!"

"B-but if I ruin this event for her by telling her I love her…" Pekora stopped her.

"She loves you back. You know that as much as me, and the only thing that'll turn that day from being one of the best days of her life to the best is if you tell her everything, Sakura!"

"... Fine, you win, Usada. I'll go. It's not like my heart's gonna burst or anything…"

An hour before the start of Suisei's mini Live, Miko could practically feel her heart burst again and again as she marched to the giant of a security guard. The rugged-looking bearfolk's thuggish face heavily contrasted with the fuzzy bear ears on the top of his head. She handed him her VIP pass, and as he scanned it, he raised an eyebrow at her.

Juxtaposing his looks with a gentlemanly voice, he asked, "Who gave you this pass?"

She squeaked, "A-chan g-gave it to me. She didn't say who it's from either."

He stroked his brown bushy beard. "Is that so? Then, let me just clear this up with tonight's star." The ursine fished out his cell phone and dialed a number.

"...Yes, please put me through to her… Lady Hoshimachi, a guest has arrived, but it's-

"Please, let me clarify, it's not Mo-... 'Just let her in'... Very well. As you wish."

Miko pondered, That's strange, don't the people at check-in have a list for VIPs?

Thankfully, the guard knew how to smile normally as he cleared a path for her.

"Right this way, Lady Sakura. You may stay in room 312 as you wait. Just go down this hallway and make the third left. The door will be on your right."

"I see. Thank you very much." As she started walking, he called out to her once more.

"I can't wait to see the quiz you've prepared for Lady Hoshimachi!" She stopped moving.

"The 'what' now?" Miko asked. I thought I was just watching from a front row seat!

"You know, as a sort of pre-show show. We already have the buzzer set up. All that's left is the host, er, you. You haven't forgotten about it, have you, Lady Sakura?"

The shrine maiden lied, "No, not at all. Thanks for the help," as she stormed to her room.

Forget it, Miko thought. I'll just have to wing it. A few questions won't be so bad, right?

. . . . .

Thankfully, the quiz event featuring her as the 'Voice of the Universe' went off without a hitch. Except she didn't expect the bluenette to call both Nene and Flare to help her answer questions involving them, but exploits are to be expected from quiz shows written so quickly.

Once the stage performance started, Miko thanked the virtual gods that she remembered to pack her pills. Relaxing in a front row seat, she watched Suisei perform her latest three songs live in front of thousands both in-person and online. Bluerose nearly made her heart stop, Kakero left her weak in the knees, and Jibunkatte Dazzling? She might as well melted into a watery puddle on the floor. If only she'd look my way, she hoped, like an utterly desperate and obsessed fan starved for attention.

Suisei's dress perfectly accentuated her every minute movement, leaving the lovesick girl seeing stars. The echo of the cometzen's powerful chords smashed against her eardrums and left a ringing in her ears. The still still stellar idol seemed to know her every weakness and exploited every single one to the fullest effect.

And then, after every song was sung and done, Suisei started exiting stage right. Right where Miko waited to tell her the truth.

As the pair locked eyes, Miko froze just like a deer in headlights. Suisei, however, had a more complex reaction: recognition gave way to fear, soon upstaged by mortification and horror as she covered her mouth.

Perhaps it was the fatigue from dancing, or maybe the stage lights drained her of her color. Either way, Suisei's skin was stark white as she stared towards Miko.

"What are you doing here, Sakura?" An innocent question from a less-than-innocent idol, but to Miko, it explained far more than any answer ever could.

The virtuan realized, Sh-she didn't invite me at all. She didn't want me here… The bluenette's bewilderment at hearing her suddenly made sense; she expected someone else.

Miko couldn't bear the awful truth, so the moment her legs came back to her, she ran.

The cometzen clamored, "Miko, wait, come back! Miko...? SAKURA!"

She had a ten-second lead before the pinkette heard the fast-paced *clicks* of heels against tile. No doubt that the Suicopath would hunt her down for real this time. Worse yet, the blazing pain in her chest returned, threatening to leave a trail of flowers leading straight to her.

Out of sheer luck, Miko ran into the same towering bearfolk as before and, thinking quickly, ducked around him, forcing her business partner to crash into the security guard. The few staff members looked at her confused, but unwilling to intercept.

Miko turned left, left, straight, right, but quickly found herself losing stamina, resigning herself to a brisk walk as the sound of reverberating footsteps kept getting closer and closer.

Desperate, she hid around a corner, doing her best to steady her breath as 'psychopath Suisei' rushed down the hall instead of turning, passing her.

For a few precious seconds, Sakura Miko thought she was in the clear. She breathed a sigh of relief, her pulverizing heart drowning out the soft *clicks* coming back towards her.

"Miko, please, I-" Suisei croaked, but the shrine maiden shrieked before she could finish. The former's now ghastly white skin reminded the latter too much of a ghost. Thus, the agitated pinkette stumbled and reflexively shoved her fellow genmate away with all of her might, sending both of them crashing into the floor. Though Suisei landed on her side, the back of Miko's head slammed into the tiles, immediately discombobulating her in every sense.

The world blurred around her and the lights turned into shooting stars, and Miko couldn't keep the Hanahaki at bay anymore. A flowershop's worth of florets bloomed all at once, spilling onto the floor. At a glance, anyone would describe them as roses partially painted blue rather than blue roses soaked in fresh blood. Miko clawed for air as she slowly lost consciousness.

As the virtuan weakly lifted her head to face Suisei, she lamented, I wish I could've told you. I, I don't wanna die. Not now, not like this. Is this how it ends for poor Miko...

Before darkness consumed her vision, a blurry flurry of crimsons and pinks flashed before her eyes. As she passed out, her last thoughts were that of the shrine she left behind, surrounded by the ever-flowering trees scattering their petals everywhere.

Sakura...

A/N: Happy Halloween, fellows! And sorry for the delay, I ran into a couple snags trying to write this chapter. I needed to revise a few parts because I couldn't get them just right, and I had to completely rewrite one part because I missed out on the Live when it came out and only watched it this past week! That cold didn't help, either... Also, sorry if the formatting for the 2nd chapter was off. For some reason, the changes didn't save the first time around and I only checked on it now.

In any case, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. As the story title implies, Bluerose was the foundation for this story, so I hope I brought the scene I imagined justice here!