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So let me freeze time
Before it turns cold
Moments go by
And life goes on
The torturous stars
Are taking every breath I wish I held
The love in my heart
It's never-ending

RAIGN, "Don't let me go"

4. "YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND WITH ME"

Caroline doesn't have much time to think about it because as soon as she starts to heal from her injuries, her captors start again. But she remembers Stefan, and even Damon's warning, and all her dreams that she ignored.

If she wasn't so stubborn, then why would she still try to be Tyler's friend?

Who's she kidding?

"Werewolf road leads straight to Vampire Boulevard!"

At first, it had really been for the reasons she gave to Damon. His bite could potentially kill her, so she should have stayed away afterwards. But…

"I have no one else to tell. I'm sorry about earlier. It's just, I'm alone with this. It's gonna happen to me. On the next full moon, I'm gonna turn and I won't be able to stop it. I'm scared."

Tyler reminded her of herself when she just turned. At the moment she needed understanding and guidance, Stefan was there for her. And Caroline thought that, for once, she could be that for someone else too.

He told her. Stefan told her she was putting herself at risk, and now…

If she had not gotten involved with Tyler, would she still be in this situation? It wasn't even worth it.

"Tyler, there's a latch on the door and I can't get to it."

When he hesitates, it breaks her heart.

"Tyler?"

"Tyler, please!"

While Stefan is out there surpassed in number, Tyler does not do anything. He doesn't help at all (and she gets that he's a wolf, and they are vampires, but she even stayed with him during the full moon, did her best to be a friend).

What has she ever done wrong? It wasn't her who killed Mason and yet, just the secrecy that was needed to protect her friends became the reason Tyler stopped trusting her.

It's always like this, so difficult to make friends, and too hard to keep them.

Stefan, however, is her friend.

And Caroline knows it's not only because she's Elena's friend. It's just that he's this type of person who genuinely cares about others.

"So is your mom at home?" He asks when they reach her doorstep.

"No, she's at work."

"I can come in if you want me to."

"I'm fine Stefan" She says, but even she can't believe it herself the way her voice sounds.

He is staring at her, and when Caroline looks at him, she guesses what he is going to say right before he says it.

"You don't have to pretend with me."

Just like in the dreams. Caroline can't believe that her dream from only days ago is replaying now in front of her. She can't believe what the situation behind those words was…

At this moment, she knows what she should say. She should reassure Stefan that she'll be fine, so he can leave her to her own misery. It's not his job to stitch her up when she is in pieces.

"I can handle myself."

"Sure you can."

He means it. She is capable of going through this and surviving, but just with the look in his eyes, Stefan is telling her that she doesn't have to.

"Could you… stay around here, in the living room? I just really really need a shower but… I could use some company later."

She doubts she'll be able to sleep tonight anyway.

Matt calls her to remind her that she's failed to get to their date, and then Tyler shows up and won't leave when Stefan tells him to, not until she slams the door on his face anyway.

She's just so fed up with the men in her life (at least for that day).

"I just don't get it. For once I try to be the nice girl, I think I've done everything right, just like Elena would have done, but I still just get discarded the minute Tyler thinks I lied to him and I'm the bad guy of the story. I try. I try so hard, but I'm still the Caroline Forbes no one ever wants to be friends with."

Wine really does help to take her mind out of the shitty things she's gone through the day, but it's not easy to get drunk when you're a vampire.

"That's not true, Caroline, and you know it." Stefan says, but the long silence that follows it's a clear indicator that he might not have much to say in her favor. "Should I call Elena, or Bonnie?"

She shakes her head.

Perhaps that would be better. If something is going to make Bonnie forgive her for dying and becoming a vampire, it has to be enduring torture from some crazy werewolves. They could even bond over the fact that, apparently, she has visions of her own.

But when it came to the girls, sometimes Caroline can't help but wonder. Would Bonnie still hate a friend-turned-vampire if that friend was Elena?

Would she always be second best, even when it came to her long-lasting friendships?

She just doesn't want to think that being a victim is the requirement she needs to fulfill in order to make things go back to the way they used to be, when it was just the three of them without all the supernatural lurking in the shadows.

At least with Stefan, she doesn't have to wonder how much of his support is because he cares, and how much of it comes from pity.

He does it because he reminds her of someone else, though, and Caroline suddenly remembers the last meaningful conversation they had before he got angry and left.

"Your friend, Lexi." She suddenly remembers. "You mentioned her before, but I still can't believe Stefan Salvatore has a bestie. What's she like?"

Stefan smiles. "She was… optimistic, generous, always knew how to have fun."

Caroline doesn't miss the past tense, but she isn't sure she should dig into it. "Sounds nice'. So you were lying when you said I reminded you of her."

He pours more wine for himself and offers her a bit. "You are way too hard on yourself."

She doesn't expect him too, but Stefan tells her about the first time he met Lexi, how she helped him to stop being the kind of vampire who only lived for hunting and killing people. It's hard to imagine him living the way he describes it was like, back then. Even if she kind of knows, because Elena and Damon have mentioned his problems with human blood before, but how could Stefan ever be someone else than the considerate, thoughtful man in front of her.

It must have been hard.

Would she be like that, too, if she had not received his help?

She asks him if the twenties were really that much of a thing as history and movies make people believe. The twenties are something he doesn't like to talk about, for whatever reason, but he tells her another story about one particular fun trip he and Lexi had in the seventies.

Caroline keeps asking questions now and then, until she finally falls asleep.

He's angry. Tyler is angry and he's going to hurt Stefan. That's why Caroline sneaks behind him, but he's faster, and then…

Everything happens so fast. Stefan tries to protect her. Tyler rips his heart out of his chest.

"There! Dead doppelgänger. Stopped the spell."

This can't be happening. It can't be happening. She cannot lose Stefan.

"Oh my god! Oh my god."

He's dead and it's all her fault.

Caroline can't breathe.

She is gasping for air when she wakes up in her bed. She's sure she fell asleep in the living room right now (she doesn't remember getting here on her own, but maybe she was just too drunk).

The sun is high up in the sky, and her mother must have left to work hours ago.

For once, Caroline is glad she's alone as she puts herself together, hands still on her chest as she recalls the dream, no, the nightmare.

Why is it Tyler again? She doesn't know the circumstances (there are always missing pieces in these dreams) but she knows enough to fear that it might become true someday.

That can't happen. It must never happen.

Doppelgänger? Why did dream-Tyler call Stefan that? Isn't Elena the doppelgänger?

She needs to remember, and she needs to know more.

She decides right then and there that she must remember all of it, all of those dreams that she's tried to ignore until now. Keep a record of them. Most importantly, she will do everything in her power to stop bad things from happening.