I'll give you a break from angst after this chapter, but I'm opening the doors for future drama. Do let me know what you think of this in reviews!

We all got nightmares in our dreams
We look for someone to believe in us
And show us the way
And make it okay
The world can be dangerous

Sabrina Carpenter, "Shadows"

9. IN NEED OF FIXING.

"Blood controls you, sweetheart. This is how I'm going to fix you."

There's no end to the pain. Caroline thinks that, even if her body wasn't hurting because of the vervain or the sun burning her skin or the need for blood, she would still be hurting.

It's not only physical, it's somewhere deep within her soul.

"You can't change who I am."

"Yes, I can."

She wishes she could blame her suffering on someone other than him. Blame it on Tyler's mom, for telling him. Blame it on Tyler, who seems to be the root of most of her troubles since she became a vampire. Blame it on her friends, she knows they are not looking for her. But this is all her father's doing, he's the one who is wrong.

In the past, Caroline tried so much to be better, to fix what could be fixed about her personality, about her looks, about anything that would help her be well-liked. None of it mattered, though. Not when it was important, or with the people who were important to her.

And how could she fix the fact that she's undead now?

It hasn't really changed who she is.

Her father says that if she could handle the urges, this would not happen. He would not hurt her like this.

And Caroline can't help but cry.

She's doing just that, and she's been doing it so well. Why does he come, after being absent for years, and decides that he is the one who knows better?

Her father lets the sun in again.

"I don't need to be fixed. I can't be fixed."

But she feels a bit broken when her mom (and, to her surprise, Tyler) come to rescue her. Because if not even her father, one of the people who were by her side since she came to this world, can love her the way she is, then who else would love her?

While her father is in jail, waiting to get the vervain out of his system, Caroline tells her mom she needs to get out of town and will be visiting Bonnie.

She tells Bonnie to cover for her.

"Caroline, are you sure you're okay? Why don't you just come here for real? I'd love the company, you know."

It's because her friend also deals with a father who doesn't exactly accept her the way she is (refuses to acknowledge witchcraft is real, and all that). Still, Bonnie's father isn't trying to kill his daughter in order to fix her.

"I'll be okay, Bonnie. I need this. I promise I won't spiral out of control, if that's what you're worried about."

"I'm worried about you."

"I'll call you, if I feel I need help. But you don't have to worry, I'll be back before classes start again."

Caroline would have felt more tempted to accept Bonnie's offer if she did not have a purpose. But the private investigator she'd compelled to look for the supposed doppelgänger ended up being as good as the rumors said. And Stefan's doppelgänger really does exist.

She doesn't know what it means, but she's going to meet him, that's for sure. Perhaps it will provide some answers, if she finds the right person to ask those questions that weigh on her mind, about the dreams and about Stefan. About herself.

For the moment, it'll stay her little secret. Damon and Elena don't need to know about this. After learning what happened, Elena found it in herself to forget she was angry at Caroline for keeping her out of their search for Stefan. And Damon apparently liked her enough that he wants to kill her father for torturing her. But none of it changes the fact that while she was being kept prisoner, they also decided to keep her out of their little trip to find Stefan.

They found it, or so Damon says. But he doesn't want to come back.

Maybe she should not feel so betrayed. What's her place in his life anyway? Only a new friend, someone who he probably would feel sorry for if she died, but who would not be enough to turn himself into a murderous vampire if it was what was needed to save her. She's stupid for comparing herself to Damon, or to Elena. And yet she cannot help it.

Because it feels like he owes her more, much more than helping her go through her days as a baby vampire.

"I promise, I won't let anything happen to you."

Lies.

She meets him in a pub (where she knows she'll find him) and can't believe what she sees. He really wears Stefan's face.

But it's different, too. He laughs easily with his group of friends, and he looks… happy. From time to time their eyes meet, he gives her a curious look, but the smile on his face doesn't disappear.

Then he stands up and walks towards her.

"Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice-

"That I was staring at you?"

He chuckles. "Well, yeah, that too. But this is like your third bottle of whiskey, that's not safe." He frowns, and for a moment, her heart stops beating. "Are you okay?"

Tom Avery is a nice guy. By that, she means a really, truly nice guy.

"I can take it. Really. There's nothing to worry about. Do you want to join me?" She asks, offering him her bottle and a smile.

"No offense, you are pretty but I think you're rather young, and I kind of want to stay out of trouble."

He doesn't take her offer, but she hears him speaking to the bartender and asking him to keep an eye on her.

Later, his friends leave but he stays alone on the same table, and the light-hearted smile slowly fades away, replaced by a pensive expression.

She knows that Tom's life is by no means easy. He works hard, and he is one smart guy who's made the best of his circumstances, but he has faced a lot of ugly things growing up, going from foster home to foster home. That's why it surprised her to see him acting so carefree with others. Only now, when he's alone, she wonders if all of it is real.

When another guy that looks like someone out of a mobster movie comes looking for him, and Tom follows him in a deadpan manner, Caroline also pays for her drinks and goes after them.

That night she saves Tom from being beaten up, and that is how summer, the real summer, starts for her in July.