I'm super excited about reaching the part of the story that actually made me write this whole thing.

She's there to lift me up

But I only let her down

A guilty king

Wears a broken crown

She's sweet forgiveness

In a lonesome lost and found.

Bon Jovi, "Life is Beautiful"

15. TO BE BETTER

Caroline's liking for vampire movies is only entertaining for the way she will criticize the inaccuracies from beginning to end. He tells her maybe she should be a filmmaker one day.

"It'd be a problem if I become too popular and then I have to disappear because I don't age." But he sees her really considering it, resting her chin on her hands. "I'll settle with being on some theater stage, with the public right in front of me. It'll be more fulfilling, but with less attention in the media."

"Sounds like you have it all figured out."

He did not know it when he came back from New Orleans, but he actually needed this little solace of Caroline's cheerfulness. She talks about her bright future (because of course, there's no doubt it will be bright, with her being who she is) and it all feels so normal, like if his world is not falling apart.

It just happened that she offered a helping hand.

"Come to me. I won't let you lose control."

At every step, he finds out things that keep adding salt to the wound, that make him believe there's really no way back to Elena.

His brother did not tell him that part, but they are already together. Words are not necessary when he can already read the truth in Caroline's eyes.

Glass scattered around the floor and pieces of the wooden table everywhere, none of it does a damn thing to calm his anger, and suddenly, all he wants to do is go out there and drink blood until he can't think and can't feel anymore.

It takes a while until his eyes stop on her again, and he sees her sitting there, in the same spot, looking at her with teary eyes.

"You are going to get through this, Stefan."

He does not think she's right, he doesn't have faith in being that strong, but for the moment, she believes he can be better than he is, and he holds onto her faith like a life-saving rope.

Faith he doesn't really deserve, Stefan is well aware of that. Even though he promised to not let anything happen to her, his actions to get revenge on Klaus were the main reason why he sent Tyler to bite her that time, and he did not even care.

And when Rebekah comes back to life and traps them in the school, sending her compelled ex-boyfriend after them, he wants to protect Caroline from going through the same thing a second time. But his heart betrays him and he still ends up taking Elena's hand and losing Caroline while they escape.

Regret comes instantly when they stop running.

She opens the door but does not let him come in.

"Don't."

"Caroline, I'm sorry."

"The only reason I happened to be almost bitten by a hybrid today was that I wanted to help you. And you left me on my own." Only when he is at the receiving end of Caroline's judging eyes does he realize how lucky he's been in that regard until now. "Did you think that was okay because maybe Klaus still likes me enough to grace me with his blood again?"

"I was-

"Too busy talking over your feelings with Elena? Yeah, I know."

She slams the door on his face.

The next day she still does not take his calls, and the only thing he knows about her is that she's spending the morning with Bonnie. Even when Rebekah comes to find him with a proposal to get the cure without Klaus being part of it, some part of his mind is still troubled with guilt.

He used to feel he was a better person when he was with Elena. Lately, it just seems to be the root of all disappointment.

After finding the headstone, which Rebekah is adamant to keep to herself (justifiable so, she doesn't trust him either), he goes back to Caroline's house.

"I did not apologize properly yesterday. You are always there for me, and I failed at being a friend to you. And I know I'm a wreck right now, but I'm afraid I won't be able to keep being me if I don't have you around to be my sober sponsor and call me out when I mess things up. So I hope you can forgive me… sometime."

She sighs and the tiniest of smiles appears on her face.

"Fine. It's your chance to make it up to me and be a good friend because I had a terrible day. Bonnie seems to be obsessed with Shane. If I did not know any better, I would think he's compelling her!"

She proceeds to tell him everything about the interrogation earlier that day, just in a much more dramatic way than what the Sheriff probably told her. He cracks a smile.

What she asks in retribution for her unwavering support is very little. Stefan also feels some guilt about that, because he finds himself coming to her every time he feels helpless, knowing that she'll find a little bit of hope for him to see or will make him smile when he's forgetting how to do that, and that's how he realizes… Caroline Forbes has become his best friend.