Tonia, Lisa: I love the Caroline/Silas interactions too, so I'm glad you are enjoying that part. Just like Caroline, though, it might be good to take his words with a grain of salt.

In another life, my teeth and tongue

Would speak aloud what until now I've only sung

'Cause I would die to make you mine

Bleed me dry each and every time

I don't mind, no I don't mind it

I would come back a thousand times

Sara Bareilles, "1000 times"

46. EVERY LOVE STORY IS A GHOST STORY

"Here's the thing. I'm helping to rescue the little Bennet, who would have totally let me stay dead, I assure you. Once she's back, do let her know that we are even. Call it part of my program to find peace."

Caroline scoffs. "You killed her father and she saw you do it."

"But if everything works out the way I plan, I'll save her from even worse trauma." He throws an old paper at them, one containing news about some murders that took place…. in Portland, Oregon. In 1994, the same year when the Gemini coven leaders went into hiding.

"Malachai Parker…" Steffan reads, "is he related to Luke and Liv Parker?"

"This guy killed his own family?"

"Not all of them, obviously. Anyway, the leader of the coven, Joshua Parker, isolated him in a prison world. Kind of like an alternate version of the same world, it's a very difficult thing to do, but anything is possible when you have the help of a Bennet witch, and as I found out, the Gemini Coven had Sheila Bennet's help."

"So she sent Bonnie to this prison world to save her." Caroline whispers. "But Damon too? How?"

"Purely by accident, I'm sure. Who'd want to save him?"

Stefan glares at Silas.

"How exactly is Jo Laughlin related to all of this?"

"She's one of the siblings Malachai Parker didn't kill. And she's got the ascendant, which will get one of you to the prison world so you can bring back little Bennet. And Damon, of course."

"How do you know this?" Stefan asks.

"I did my research these months, too. It was more efficient than yours, because of the information Caroline so kindly gave to me." Silas turns to her. "If your almost-husband got the ascendant from Jo Parker last time, then sure we can find it too."

Caroline paces nervously outside the apartment, while Silas covers them with a cloaking spell to make things easier.

There's so much she needs to know. All this meddling with Jo Laughling, Parker, whatever… Alaric's Jo, will this affect the existence of the twins? Because surely Alaric hasn't even met Jo yet, and this is not how things went last time, judging by Silas words.

And that's another thing. One can never trust everything that comes out of his mouth.

Stealing from a professor isn't even near the worst things Caroline has done in her life, but she still feels bad about it, maybe because this stranger could eventually be someone important in her own life.

Who knows.

What matters is that, two hours later, they have the ascendant and they weren't caught.

"So now, can you do the spell?"

"I still need the blood of a Bennet witch and we have to wait for the next celestial event."

It feels as if all they can ever do is wait.

"Until then, the ascendant stays with us." Stefan demands Silas to hand it down.

"I don't think so. When the woman realizes the ascendant is missing, who do you think they'll suspect first?"

The vampires who have been inquiring about the Gemini Coven for months.

"Fine" Caroline grabs Stefan's hand, asking him to give in this time. "So, the Bennet witch blood…"

"Lucy Bennet was willing to help us last time only because of Bonnie." He reminds her. "Maybe she'll do the same this time."

"Fantastic. See you when you get that done, then."

Silas is already turning on his feet when she stops him.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"That's for me to know. But I'll stick around, don't worry, Caroline."

He takes out his phone and gives her a call. She doesn't even want to know how he got that, or for how long he was spying on them before approaching her.

Creep.

She sighs and gathers all her resolve to speak the next words.

"I still want you to do it… the spell to let me see all those memories."

It's unfair he knows so much and she knows so little.

"Yeah… about that. I'm not in the mood to break you today. Bye."

He leaves them alone on the porch of her house.

"Caroline, what did he mean by that?"

She hates that fucking witch with all her heart right now.

Stefan's eyes are filled with concern. Again.

"It's a risk I need to take, and maybe it will happen one day even if I don't do anything."

"You are still not explaining yourself."

She opens the door still trying to find a way to be honest without worrying him too much, and silence follows them as they walk into the living room.

"I know you have noticed it already. When I get these… memories, sometimes I get confused between what I dreamed and what I have actually lived."

She might really go crazy, unable to tell apart dreams and reality, past life and the present. Then again, that's already happening. Caroline might avoid talking about it with Stefan, and keep it a secret from everyone else, but she can't fool herself and pretend she doesn't feel it.

"You don't need to do it anymore. You wanted to remember so we could save Bonnie and Damon, but we already know what to do."

"No, Silas knows what to do, and that's because he's seen all those things I should have seen." She shakes her head and lowers her gaze. "Can we just talk about this later? You should go and tell Elena that we definitely have a way to bring Damon back, before she does something stupid."

"Later." He places his arms on her shoulders, so she doesn't have another choice but to look him in the face. "Please, Caroline, there is more to this that you're not telling me, and I don't know how to help you if you don't talk to me."

"Stefan, I…" She mumbles, too afraid to continue this conversation.

"I'm trying to respect your choice, but I also want you to be safe. I love you, and the thought of you getting hurt… that's not an option I'm willing to entertain."

Caroline stares at him, her trembling hands holding onto his shirt as she tries to contain the emotion that's drumming loudly inside of her.

Her voice comes out as a whisper. "I love you too."

She should have told him a long time ago, because it's liberating when she finally does, breaking chains around her heart and making even more space for this immeasurable feeling.

"I don't want to get hurt either. All I want is this, what we have now. I want to spend the little time I have left with my mom, and I want my friend back to where she should be, and I want to be able to enjoy all of it. But Stefan, everytime I have these dreams it's harder to ignore what's happening to me. So if something might go wrong, isn't it better to face it forward?"

"We'll cross that bridge only then."

"And what if I become another Caroline, someone you don't even recognize?"

He pulls her into a tight embrace, chasing away her fears. "You are always going to be you."

Stefan doesn't leave her side for the rest of the day. She thinks it's because he still fears she is going to do something reckless the moment she's out of his sight. But this is also okay, because they have not seen each other for days and their reunion this morning was quickly spoiled by Silas' arrival (and before that, it had been Elena's drama).

It's their 'let's pretend to be a normal couple' time, but their initial plan to cook together somehow turns into kisses, which turn into a crack on the wall.

She frowns. "How the hell am I supposed to cover that?"

It's going to be so embarrassing if her mom sees that and asks what happened.

Stefan just raises an eyebrow. "We'll hang a painting there."

"That would look awful."

She smiles, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. He smiles right back at her.

"I love you." After saying it once, she feels like telling him this all the time.

His way to let her know how he feels about her is different. With kisses that take her breath away, leaving her hazy so she doesn't even realize how they go from the kitchen to their bed or when their clothes are torn and thrown to the floor.

It's not like they need to have lunch anyway. Later she decides it's better to just ask for takeout in the evening when her mom comes back from work.

This might be the first time Caroline dreams with Damon and it's not exactly a nightmare.

He looks different in the dream, too, so for a moment she does not recognize him.

Then it dawns on her. He looks older and he's got some gray hair now.

"You came."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, you've been busy traveling this year."

"I'm still looking for someone who knows well about the merging. You know that years pass by quickly, if I don't find something now, who knows what is going to happen when they turn twenty-two."

She isn't seeing her girls this time either. They will have questions she can't answer yet, and they will want her to stay.

The only reason she's back at Mystic Falls now today is that it's her wedding anniversary. Another year since Stefan's death.

She changes the flowers in the crypt and runs her fingers over the name engraved in the stone.

"You should stop by and have dinner with us. The kids also ask about her aunt."

She shakes her head. Not only would Lizzie and Josie hate her if they find out she was in Mystic Falls today, but she can't bear to see Damon and Elena's children. They have named one after Stefan, and the other has his eyes.

"Maybe next time. Send them my love."

Caroline sighs and steps outside the crypt, ready to leave, but Damon isn't done yet. He'll say the same thing he says every time they meet.

"If you really believe he's at peace, do you think Stefan would want to see you living like this, Caroline?"

There's nothing wrong with the way she lives, except that her dear brother-in-law thinks she has really become dull with the years, that she only lives for the twins and the school.

What if Stefan is watching her from somewhere?

She used to find some contentment in that idea, that they are still connected somehow. And she definitely can't wait for the day she can see him again, which is also depressing, considering she has to die for that to happen, and even then it's not something sure.

However, if she's honest with herself, there's also another part of her that's grown bitter with the years, especially when she sees Damon and Elena's happy life together, and the old jealous girl she used to be comes back to whisper her that she and Stefan should have had that, too.

"That doesn't really matter, does it?"

He chose to leave her.

Sometimes she hates him for it.

But that's something Caroline won't ever be able to confess.