There's no Stefan in this chapter, but I still hope you like it.

I used to recognize myself

It's funny how reflections change

When we're becoming something else

I think it's time to walk away

So come on, let it go

Just let it be

Why don't you be you

And I'll be me?

James Bay, "Let it go"

47. WHAT THEY USED TO BE

If she knew that she would be dragged to this football game only for Matt to try and be the mediator between her and Elena, Caroline wouldn't have agreed to hand out in the first place.

"Why don't you just give it a break, Care? You two can't be mad at each other forever?"

"Actually, we could, since we don't age and all that."

He gives her a look that's supposed to be reproaching her attitude, but Caroline doesn't care.

Her mom has been doing the same for weeks now. 'Honey, why don't you go out with Elena. She's your friend, and you two need each other right now.'

Wrong.

That's the thing. Caroline was pissed off and absolutely disgusted with Elena at first, when Silas spilled the beans that she'd kept information about the Parker twins being in town the whole time and apparently just using a cloaking spell to avoid her, Stefan and anyone else from their group who had an interest in their coven.

And she was mad enough that she even considered not talking to her ever again, even if that meant Elena would do something foolish like erasing Damon from her memory. In the end, she did talk Elena out of that stupid idea and convinced her that they have an actual plan this time.

Who would have thought Elena would be the one to get mad this time? Just because Caroline refused to share details of their alliance with Silas, or the help they received from Lucy Bennet, which was perfectly reasonable considering her recent actions.

That's fine, because Caroline doesn't care if Elena gets angry or not. She doesn't want her to do dumb things if it can be avoided, but she doesn't want them to be friends again either.

In the past, she would become jealous of Elena and even hate her at times, but in the midst of all those poisonous ideas that sometimes caused her to act horribly, Caroline always cared about Elena and did her best to be a good friend, in her own imperfect way. Perhaps it was because she knew Elena would also be the same, even if it was evident that Caroline wasn't her favorite person, Elena was the kind of person who would offer a helping hand when it truly mattered, like the time Damon was hurting her and feeding on her, or when she just turned into a vampire and had very few people she could trust with her new identity.

Change is inevitable when your life is turned upside down by vampirism. Caroline knows she's changed, even if she can't tell how much of it is due to suddenly waking up as an undead and needing to rethink her whole existence, and how much is about waking up as an undead who has dreams of a past life. And yet, she should have known that the kind of person Elena had become after turning was not someone she could be friends with.

"So just exactly what was it that made you jump into bed with him as soon as you met him?"

"If you're waiting for an apology, you're not going to get one."

All these things she's ignored until now come back to add to the reasons why it doesn't make sense for them to be friends anymore.

"Hey, Caroline," Matt calls her name, she's obviously too absorbed in her own thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just… clearly Tyler's team is going to win. I'll just head back home early. I have an assignment due for tomorrow. Besides, I told Stefan to do the shopping today, but I still want to make dinner for mom. You know how hard it is to convince her to eat well."

He frowns, but does not try to convince her otherwise.

"Okay. I'll give you a ride."

She doesn't need it, but no one has ever been able to reject Matt's kindness.

"Sure."

"So… you and Stefan are doing well?"

He blurts out the question once they have walked away from the field and are closer to the main building, and as far as Caroline can see, he looks a bit uncomfortable so she has no idea why he'd bring this up

"Yes. He's been… wonderful, truly." She smiles as she thinks of him. "I don't know what I would have done without him these past months. With Bonnie, and my mom, and everything else going on."

"I see. I'm glad for you."

Silence.

It's not like he hasn't seen other people after they broke up… he had this thing with Rebekah for a little while, she knows. However, she's aware that neither of them have been in a real relationship since their break-up. It's been so long that Caroline just didn't think it'd be awkward at all, but maybe she was wrong about that?

"Matt, what is it?"

"It's always been Stefan for you, isn't it?"

She blinks, suddenly without words, as she looks in the face.

Oh, so is this because it's Stefan of all people? The disastrous double-date from hell comes to mind, how hard it was for Matt to get used to Elena dating someone new, and how hard it was for herself to see him acting closer to his ex-girlfriend than to her (she remembers, too, Stefan knowing eyes that fell on her from time to time, as if he could see right away what was troubling her).

It was a lifetime ago.

Has it always been Stefan?

Honestly, she doesn't know.

But that's not what Matt is implying.

"You mean, when we were together."

"I always felt like… like there was something. Like your heart was elsewhere."

"I did love you, Matt. But then I turned, and things… changed."

She started getting those dreams. Along with Stefan's helping hand, every single time she closed her eyes to see glimpses of him, the seeds of the love that would grow roots in her heart.

But she can't tell Matt that part. They are friends, but they are not that close.

"And later, when we gave it another chance, I tried to make it work… but you and I know that Elena was always first in your heart. Even now, you want me to be friends with her again for her sake."

"That's not fair. I know this is important for you, too."

"No, I'm still changing. The girl I am today… that's not someone who wants to be friends with Elena Gilbert, not unless she decides to grow up and think about others instead of just herself. You know, how she used to be when we were younger, when you fell in love with her."

He sighs.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought this up."

They keep on walking but stop when they see Elena and Stefan just a bit ahead of them. Caroline notices he looks a bit troubled and she doesn't understand what could be wrong until her vampire ears catch up to what he's mumbling.

"Well, I don't know why they wouldn't tell you, but that's not my problem. I'm just looking for Caroline. Or Stefan would do, too. Can you give me their phone numbers?"

Oh God.

In a few strides, she catches up with them.

"Tom?"

His big, goofy smile is all the confirmation she needs.

"Care to explain why there's another doppelgänger you never told us about?" Elena glares at her.

"There was never any need to."

"What? Doppelgänger? Like Katherine?" Matt asks. "I didn't know Stefan also had another one."

"No one knew. Caroline kept the secret to herself very well." Elena says bitterly. "And Stefan, apparently."

"There was no need for anyone to be talking about someone you had never met." Tom frowns for just a split second. "But anyway, as I was saying, nice to meet you."

Then he turns to Caroline.

"How is it that you're here? Why didn't you call me? Or Stefan?"

"I kind of had an accident with my phone. Lost all my contacts. The good thing is that I'm here, right? There's a lot to talk."

He looks at the other too warily, and Caroline guesses it's time to leave.

"Of course. Come on, let's have dinner at home."

Carolines pays zero attention to Elena's attempt to interrogate her, says goodbye to Matt, and waits until they are out of their sight to greet Tom properly with a big bear hug.

She's so glad that he's alive, and safe, and human.

It's one thing to get one letter and words from Klaus, and another to have him there, flesh and blood, and real.

It's such a relief.

Tom has been in hiding for way too long until now, with Rebekah, who was also taking care of Hope. But apparently, things have been settling down enough that the Mikaelson girls could go back to New Orleans. As for Tom?

He and Rebekah had a thing going on, he tells her, but it's over now (he doesn't want to tell her why). It's been over for a few weeks, and he was considering moving back to Atlanta now that the Travelers are out of the picture and Klaus no longer needs his blood (he's got enough of it already).

But that was when he received a mysterious message telling him to come here.

"I don't know how it was possible, but I suddenly heard this voice in my head. Quite like my own voice, actually, telling me to come here at Whitmore, that you needed my help. So here I am."

It can't be possible. Caroline can only think of Silas being capable of using that mental link, but has he recovered his psychic ability? Or was he lying about ever losing it?

"That fucking psycho never mentioned needing your help," she frowns. "I don't think he's told Stefan either."

"I guess we'll find out soon."

Caroline taps her fingers on the steering wheel as they wait for the traffic lights to change.

"So, did the pull of the red string of fate work on you when you met your destined person?"

"You mean your friend, Elena, the one who looks like Katherine?"

She raises an eyebrow. Who else would it be?

"Yeah, I think I'll pass getting involved with my doppelgänger's exes in the future."

"Very reasonable."

"I take it for the way you were talking to each other that you're not friends?"

"No, not anymore. But we used to be."