A/N: Duo cleans house.

Chapter 2

Endless Waltz was a medieval fantasy romance novel starring a lost Princess finding her path to the throne and eventually meeting the love of her life, a seemingly cold but genuinely kind-hearted Duke. The storyline itself never had any compelling twists and turns, and the only thing it really had going for it was its cast of colorful characters.

Heero Yuy was one such character, and he was the main love interest. He initially meets the main character – Relena Peacecraft, currently in hiding as Relena Darlian, the adopted "commoner" daughter of Duke Darlian – in early summer, on the beach in the Darlian province. It had been a fated and heart-stopping first meeting, as Relena had been accosted on the shore by some ruffians and Heero arrived just in time to save her. He took off after dealing with the thugs without ever having told her his name, which in turn makes Relena more curious and aware of his existence.

They meet several times throughout the first half of the novel, until it's revealed to her that she is the true Princess. Heero, taken with her, tries his best to help her through the trials and tribulations of court life to guarantee her seat on the throne and give the Sanc Kingdom and her allies lifelong peace.

Naturally, I am not Relena Darlian-Peacecraft.

You see, a handful of years prior to the events of Endless Waltz, Heero Yuy had already been married. His spouse had been the youngest child of the Maxwell dukedom, and was so minor a character that they hadn't even had a first name (or even a gender, I realized in hindsight). Readers only learned, in about half a page of dialogue in one of those Character Reveals Their Tragic Pasts To Their Love Interest conversations, that Heero Yuy's first spouse had been an awful person.

The unnamed Maxwell character had been petty and spiteful, feared and hated by all the servants in the Yuy household, who drew constant comparisons between them and the kind and sweet Relena after they'd met her. The Maxwell spouse was abusive to those that they considered inferior; they embezzled the Yuy duchy's finances for their own personal interests; they had a string of lovers and flaunted their infidelity; they absolutely hated their own husband, Heero Yuy.

You see, Heero Yuy was considered to be "foul blood" to the haughty Maxwell character. Heero was the child of the previous Duke and a commoner woman, whose true identity was never known until the ending of the book. (To the surprise of none of the readers, his mother was actually the beautiful and noble Aoi Clark, daughter of the Clark viscounty.) The Maxwell character, believing that Heero was the child of a commoner mistress, considered him to be inferior and virulently opposed the marriage. However, to guarantee Heero's right to the Yuy dukedom, longtime allies of Heero's father Odin Lowe Yuy, Duke Maxwell agreed to have his youngest child married to Heero.

An arranged marriage built on political ties. It wasn't unusual in this type of story, but the Maxwell character was just such an awful person that they could never accept it. The novel went out of its way to paint Heero as the victim to his first spouse's abuse, the Maxwell character serving as Heero's reason for his cold heart at the start of the story. It wasn't a bad explanation, but it was a tired one, and the unnamed Maxwell character died prior to the main storyline anyway so the readers never get to know much else.

That's right, they died… There had been an accident while Heero and his trusted knights were out on a two year-long expedition… the unnamed Maxwell had perished in the Yuy estate's greenhouse, after it had caught fire when they'd knocked over a lit lamp while there at night. Given the unnamed Maxwell's lax lifestyle, they hadn't had the strength to escape, and they died from smoke suffocation.

…

…

Wait.

Was I supposed to have died back then?!

Waking up to the royal blue canopy was becoming disturbingly routine now. Even then, I didn't really want to move, pinching the bridge of my nose in the hopes of staving off the incoming headache. Hilde, along with Melissa and Kaori, had just entered the bedroom; unlike before, though, Hilde wasn't rushing to get me up. I think I gave them another scare after passing out yesterday, even though Doctor Po had come by last night to check me over.

Doctor Sally Po, the trusted medic of Heero and his friends… The one who bandaged up Relena's wound after a failed assassination attempt…

Oh, there's the headache now.

"Sorry but… can everyone but Hilde leave the room?" I asked, sitting up in bed.

Kaori and Melissa were quick to flee, shutting the down behind them. The fear was understandable now, if this place really was that novel given physical form: if I was the unnamed Maxwell character, then I'd probably abused the staff horribly. Likely not physically, as Heero Yuy would never had stood for that, but definitely verbally.

God, no wonder Hilde acted like I'd killed her puppy. The other me would have!

"Are you feeling alright, Your Grace? Should I call the doctor?" Hilde asked, voice tentative.

"No, I'm feeling…okay," I answered, still trying to work through my thoughts. What I didn't understand, if this world was following the events of the book, is why I was here; Heero's first spouse is killed in the greenhouse fire. Since I'm Heero's first spouse, then that means the fire that I seemingly survived was the one that should have killed me.

So why was I here? There was only one greenhouse on the grounds, and it was most assuredly wrecked. Am I supposed to wait for them to rebuild it and then die in it then?

And by fire…

"Your Grace, you're looking rather pale—"

"I think some of my memories came back."

Hilde froze. Given the circumstances, the uneasiness on her face was expected. I was probably showing the same thing on my face, if for a completely different reason.

While the statement wasn't technically true, it's not like I could tell anyone that this was all a novel. I'd just sound like a lunatic, and I was already walking that fine line as it were; I'm surprised they hadn't sent me to the hospital given my condition. Maybe such hospitals didn't exist yet? I really hoped so, because a medieval mental hospital sounds terrifying.

"That's good, Your Grace," Hilde started, with the same kind of expression a waitress makes when a customer asks to change their entrée after it's already been made. "Doctor Po did say the amnesia was temporary. You are clearly on the path to recovery."

The 'I wish you were on the path to self-destruction' was the underlying message there. I wonder if other-me ever understood any of Hilde's silent insults, or did he live in a bubble of his own self-importance? And it wasn't like I could blame Hilde for it, seeing as other-me deserved all this and more.

"Hilde, let me ask you some things, make sure I got this all right in my head…" Hilde nodded in agreement, although I doubt she considered this much of a choice. "I'm the youngest child of Duke Maxwell, right?"

"Yes, Your Grace. You have one older brother, who is heir to the Maxwell dukedom."

I wonder if he's a dandy too. "How long have I been married?"

"It will be one year in the first summer month, Your Grace."

"Am I the Duke's first spouse?"

"First and last spouse, of course, Your Grace." Oh right, I think divorce was illegal here…

"…How many affairs have I had?"

"…"

"…"

"…Two, Your Grace."

"Did I ever hit any of the servants?"

"No, Your Grace."

"…Did I ever verbally abuse any of the servants?"

"…'abuse', Your Grace?"

Hilde's professionalism was outstanding. Maybe Heero should have married her; she'd be killer in court politics. "I mean, did I ever verbally degrade or insult any of the servants?"

"…You did give us servants some corrective lessons, Your Grace." Translation: Yes, you bastard.

That was about all I could take at the moment, reaching for a sofa cushion to mash my face into and scream. Hilde didn't move, although she was definitely taken-aback by my actions. I pulled away from the cushion to look at her morosely.

"Well damn it all."

"…Your Grace?"

"I'm a fucking scumbag, Hilde."

Oh, nice – I don't think I've ever seen bewildered satisfaction on Hilde's face before.

From what I remembered from the novel and could confirm with Hilde firsthand, the unnamed Maxwell – now apparently named Duo Maxwell, same as me, how dare he – had so far committed various malicious acts, most of which were designed to hurt Heero Yuy and those who supported him. Thus far, this meant:

1. Abused and degraded the servants.

2. Cheated on my husband, with at least two different people.

3. Abused and degraded my husband.

4. Insulted my husband.

5. Insulted my husband's friends and allies.

6. (Likely) mismanaged the Yuy estate.

7. (Supposedly) embezzled funds from the Yuy duchy.

The last two points were still in the air, mostly because I wasn't willing to ask Hilde directly. The novel claimed this to have happened, but the novel also said I was supposed to have died over a week ago, and yet here I was walking around and giving Hilde mood whiplash.

"Hilde, I need to see Howard," I said, having only finished a scant portion of my lunch. Pickled or boiled meat, pickled or boiled vegetables… at this rate, I'm just going to be living off bread and jam.

"He may still be busy, Your Grace," Hilde replied. Her voice sounded tentative, like she thought she may be overstepping her bounds and didn't want to be rude, but I could clearly see her mentally pitching me out of the window for daring to bother Howard.

Too bad for them both, that was exactly what I wanted to hear – because I had a pretty good guess on what Howard was working on behind those closed doors.

Mike Howard was the Head Butler of the Yuy estate, and had been serving the Yuy family since Heero's father was young. Given that the other me was not only unfaithful but also abusive to Howard's beloved master, and so against the marriage from the start, it was highly likely that I'd been remiss in my duties as the Duchess. With Heero's absence due to the expedition, those duties were then handled by Howard.

Other-me probably had done some of the work, at least a little bit, if he was embezzling from the duchy. I can't imagine Howard just letting other-me get away with it; Hilde and Howard were both likely to report any suspicious going-ons to Heero, even while he was abroad. That was also why they felt so comfortable reading my letter to Heero, which should have been considered private.

If I wanted to see the true extent of the damage other-me had wrought, I needed to see the duchy's finances. To see the duchy's finances, I needed Howard.

"I still need to see him. Actually, let me go to him – he's in the study as usual, right?"

I didn't wait for an answer, striding out of the dining room. Hilde was quick to follow on my heels, and though she hem-hawed with her words, she didn't reach out to physically stop me. I was really impressed with her self-control – maybe I should suggest she get an award of some kind once Heero returned.

There were startled exclamations from some of the staff still in the hall where the Study was located, but they were quick to quiet at the sight of Hilde – probably thinking if she couldn't stop me, then no one could. I opened the doors and pretended I didn't see Hilde's resigned expression, instead focusing on Howard; he was sitting behind an expansive wooden desk, papers and folders stacked high atop in varying piles.

He looked only marginally surprised to see me, standing at my entrance to bow in greeting. "Your Grace, I apologize for the untidiness," he said, glancing to Hilde behind me then back to my face.

"No worries, I know you're busy!" I said with a small grin, trying to be friendly. "I just needed your help with something."

"Help?" Howard echoed quizzically, having another silent conversation with Hilde over my shoulder. "I was informed that your memories are being slowly recovered… Whatever I can do to help, I would be most glad to do so."

Howard never gave off the same subtextual line of insults I could read from Hilde, but I bet they were there. His years of experience probably just meant he was better at hiding it. This was likely his version of telling me to hurry up and get out of his hair because someone had actual work to do.

"Great, thanks! I need to see all of the budget statements for the estate for the last year, including servant salaries and income flows, as well as all of the cash flow for the duchy for the last three years," I said, not letting the plain look of surprise on Howard's face sway me. "I also need to see my own personal budget statements, along with any list of purchases I've made."

According to Hilde, a Duchess was responsible for the maintenance of the estate, and in the absence of the Duke from the fief, acted as acting lord of the land. Other-me had inherited these duties a year ago once the marriage was officiated, so if I wanted to see what he'd been up to, I would get a better understanding once I saw the documents.

When Howard didn't move, I prompted him with a soft "Howard?"

"Oh, I apologize, Your Grace! Were you interested in increasing your personal allowance? I can try to see if we can allot you more funds…" That was probably through a slow letter to the Duke, and not something I was interested in. I bet that's where all the embezzled money went too – straight to my counterpart's personal allowance.

"No, not that," I dismissed, still smiling. I didn't have any trust to go off of, so I was working with oblivious confidence at this point. "I bet I bought more than enough the past year. I want to review the current financial state of this estate, and of the duchy."

"Your Grace, you're still recovering…" Hilde tried.

"There's no need to worry about this yourself just yet, Your Grace," Howard added. "Until you've fully recovered, I can handle—"

This was taking too damn long. I marched to the desk, keeping my bright smile on and resting a comforting hand on Howard's broad shoulder.

"Howard. Let me see the documents." Smile, smile!

"…Yes, Your Grace."

Reviewing all the documents – there were at least five piles, each pile reaching as high as my waist – took more than a week. I've always been good with math, but I still sorely missed a calculator as I did all of the calculations myself. I think by day 3, when I continued poring over the files and was starting to skip at least one meal a day and staying up late, Hilde's simmering ire started to shift into actual concern. I think she was thinking I was just going to add more money to my personal allowance instead of taking this seriously , and by day 5, had started guilt-tripping me into eating more.

But honestly, seeing the full extent of the damage wreaked by other-me left me feeling unable to eat.

It wasn't as bad as it could have been; the duchy - thanks to Howard's passable management and before him, Heero's much better management – was still in the green, so we weren't in the midst of a deficit. We also had strong trade with neighboring provinces, such as the Noin, Noventa, and Maxwell domains. The latter was particularly strong, given their relation to other-me.

Thankfully, the funds sent to the Yuy dukedom from the Capital in order to maintain its standing militia could not be touched by other-me. Heero Yuy had exclusive rights to those funds, and in the event of his passing, it fell to his second-in-command and Knight Commander, Trowa Barton.

What other-me could touch were the fief's funds, which was where the trouble started. There had been small increases over time to other-me's personal allowance, signed off by Heero; shortly after Heero's departure last fall, there were several sharp increases to that allowance, mostly signed off by myself, the last one signed off by Howard.

By my best guess, Howard signed off on the last one in a bid to stop other-me from continually increasing it and taking from the fief's yield. He'd probably tried to bargain, giving me a large lump sum so that I would be contented enough until Heero returned. At best, Heero would reduce the allowance back to a more appropriate size; at worst, I could be accused of embezzlement and punished accordingly.

The rise in other-me's personal allowance also meant the servants suffered a paycut, and then their pay went static – no increases, no bonuses, and also no holiday. Going from previous servant salary statements, they should have been receiving a salary increase of 2.7% per year, but for the past year, there had been no increases and a pay cut of 3%.

All of that money apparently went into other-me's shopping. Luxury items, such as clothes and jewels, were listed among the many purchases made; there was a week-long vacation taken to one of the port towns, probably spent with one of my affairs; I'm pretty sure one of the items listed 'giraffe meat'. I honestly don't even want to know, and if that is euphemism for something, I don't want to know what it is either.

By day 9 of my self-assigned homework, I'd completed my review. Hilde had even dared to look relieved for all of 10 seconds as I set aside the last file with a sigh, and then I crushed that look the moment I took up the quill.

Well, just looking over the damage wasn't enough – it was time to fix it.

"Your Grace, perhaps Howard—"

"It's fine, Hilde, I can make minor adjustments," I waved her off without even looking up from the papers.

First things first, I would need to address the problem of the servants' salaries. Unfortunately, as the increases to my own personal allowance were made not only at their expense, but at the expense of the fief, this wasn't just a matter of allocating the rest of the duchess allowance to servants' salaries.

I could slap a band-aid on it for now, via selling all of the excess luxury items other-me had purchased. I'd need to comb through my closet to sell off the more gaudy items, and if there were any art pieces bought after Heero had left, I should probably sell them too.

That money would be added to servant funds, so that I could restore them back to their original pay, and also add the expected annual increase. This would also earn me brownie points with them, hopefully showing them a change in character so that I didn't have to worry about one of them assassinating me in the middle of night.

I needed at least a little bit of trust for step two.

While selling my personal items would handle some of the financial issues, it didn't handle all of them; I needed to put back the money other-me had taken for his own gain, and in order to make proper reparations, even increase it.

I needed to find the Yuy fief another source of income.

The Yuy fief was not known for arable land; their main export was soldiers. Most knights and soldiers were trained in the Yuy dukedom, and were then sent to the borders to guard against possible invasions from Romefeller, or deal with skirmishes with the barbarians that dwelled along Sanc and Lagrange's shared border. There was also a minor trading export of fur and leather goods, which kept them afloat in more peaceful times.

Fortunately, I'd read the novel – which included the narrative exposition on the discovery of a mine in the Yuy fief, near the small town of Aoba-ku. This boosted their trade in iron ore, which prompted other towns within the province to begin looking into finding undiscovered mines as well. The result was a chain of discoveries rich in iron ore deposits and coal, boosting the economy of the province and assuring Heero had the funds needed to back Relena's claim to the throne.

This all happened near the middle of the book, but I'm sure I can be forgiven for an early launch. The money still goes to Heero's fief after all, so it's not like I was doing anything bad!

For this step, I'd need to actually go to the site to ensure its discovery. On a long trip around the fief, I'd need to take guards, and probably also Hilde; so I needed to make sure they trusted me enough not to just kill me and dump my body somewhere along the way.

So first, I needed to restore the little bit of faith that other-me had lost.

"Hilde, call for Kaori, Melissa, and Coralina," I said. "I need everyone's opinion on my closet."

I couldn't quite place the look on Hilde's face at those words, but at least it wasn't murderous.

I wonder if it's possible to die from secondhand embarrassment. Or was this considered firsthand? Questions for later.

Purging my closet took nearly three days. The sheer magnitude of clothing required storage that totaled to at least three times the size of my apartment back home, and I couldn't make heads or tails of any of it. I had the most egregious outfits – eye-burning patterns, ridiculous ornaments (one even had a full goddamn bird sewn onto it!), and for some goddamn reason, a tiger-striped lingerie slip – immediately expunged, followed by outfits that Kaori and the girls stated were now well out of season.

There was a certain level of pomp I needed to keep as the Duchess (according to Hilde's increasingly exasperated commentary), so I couldn't just regale myself in simple slacks. While I tended to prefer more somber colors, I still kept brighter outfits that Melissa had convinced me would do well to wear in the spring and summer months.

We couldn't just hold the garage sale I had envisioned, so Hilde sent off some servants and knights to deal with the excess clothing. Once the closet was finished, I moved onto the accessories – which appeared to give Hilde another heart attack. She was much more talkative this time around though, as I checked the story behind each jewel and necklace that had decorated the skin of other-me.

Most of them had been bought by other-me, so they were deftly added to the sale pile. I'd never really worn accessories back home; occasionally I'd pierce my ears with black studs, but aside from those and the simple chain cross I'd inherited from the church, I wasn't really an accessory type. Other-me was apparently the antithesis of that, wearing necklaces, bracelets, brooches, rings, hairclips – if it sparkled something fierce and gave off the impression of wealth, he was wearing it. God, didn't he ever learn taste in moderation?!

In the end, the only things I kept were the wedding presents from the friends and families of the Yuy-Maxwell union, and the few gifts from my husband. I was pleasantly surprised to see that Heero Yuy at least had better taste in finery than other-me: a pearl-laden gold hairpin, a handful of jeweled necklaces, a length of diamond-encrusted silver rope hair ornament (meant to be twined in my hair I think), and two sets of golden hand chains with inlaid garnet and rubies.

The best thing I found was the wedding ring though; I'd always thought the rings worn in the middle ages were big and ugly when I saw pictures of them in school, but the Duchess ring was simple and solid: silver and gold braided together, a single jewel of black diamond at the center. I'd happily slipped it on once Hilde told me what it was, and then pretended I didn't notice her third heart attack of the day. Maybe I should consider giving her hazard pay…

All told, after all sales were finalized, I'd made quite a hefty sum! It was definitely enough to pay back the funds taken from the servants' salaries, and Howard even stopped trying to take back the paperwork when I made the necessary adjustments. I added the annual salary increase as well, so once I'd calculated that on top of what they were supposed to have been making while the Duke was absent, their new paychecks were handed out as soon as possible.

"Am I dreaming?" I heard Howard mumble, looking at his own sizeable portion of coins.

I almost wanted to say something snarky but didn't have the chance because Melissa and the other maids were crowded around me, thanking me profusely. I'd kinda thought they would scurry away as soon as the money was handed to them, thinking my newfound generosity would disappear when I finally realized how much money I was giving out, but maybe they were so starved for positive attention from me that they wanted to bask in it while they could.

I added [8. Didn't pay the servants the appropriate amount of money for their service] and [9. Bought way too many dumb things that I did not need] to my list later that night.

A/N: Duo this chapter: Fine, I'll be the best damn Duchess you'll ever see!

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