A/N: Hey, not bad, it's only been less than a week since my last update!

Warnings for this chapter: poison/poisoning, dead(?) bird

Chapter 22

"It's such a lovely morning, isn't it?" I said cheerfully, spreading some jam over a steaming biscuit.

An acidic glare was shot my way courtesy of Meilan, paired with the long-suffering sigh of Quatre - which I thought was still preferable to the bemused glances I'd been receiving prior from their respective partners. I don't know what the deal was with Wufei and Trowa; maybe they just didn't expect me to come down to breakfast given the amount of bourbon I'd poured down my throat last night.

My alcohol tolerance was surprisingly high considering the body I now inhabited – so much so that it made me wonder if maybe other-me had a secret wine stash hidden away that Hilde refused to tell me about. Bourbon appeared to be the only thing that could affect me, and even that took an absurdly high amount, as made obvious by how much I'd consumed at last night's feast.

Fortunately, in this body – I was also spared the hangover.

"Yes," Heero answered after a stilted pause. It was nice to have someone play along and answer, as Hilde was originally the only one that did, and even that had been colored with some residual homicidal tendencies. Heero was a sweetheart. Also surprisingly clumsy, as he dropped his fork as soon as I shot him an appreciative smile.

It was a pleasant surprise to learn that Heero apparently took meals with his frien-advisors whenever possible. I know that they'd done so in the novel, but most of those scenes were centered around capital banquets or at campfires as they traveled; I had no idea he just took his usual meals with his friends.

It was also a nice change from my lonely meals after I'd first woken up here, where I ate alone in my bedroom. That had changed a bit after I befriended Meilan and Quatre returned, but usually our morning routines operated on such different times that I only saw them for lunch and dinner. It had been a rare experience for me to share breakfast with someone, even back in NYC; the last time I remembered doing so regularly was at the Maxwell Church.

So even if Wufei and Trowa seemed intent on pretending I didn't exist outside of cursory greetings, this was still rather nice. "Why can't you suffer like the rest of us?" Meilan grumbled, stabbing a spoon into her bowl of chicken congee – the only thing she could stomach this morning.

"I'm too pretty," I told her with a particularly smug smile.

Heero's expression was completely blank. "Yes," he agreed again with solemn determination.

Wufei let out something like a pained sigh but honestly, I could kind of understand; every time Heero does something Male Lead-ish, it feels like my heart is trying to jam itself into my gut. I patted my not-really-but-yes-technically husband on the thigh in thanks, ignoring the way he dropped his fork again.

It was still an obvious gesture on my part even without Heero's clumsiness highlighting the movement, as he was sat at the head of the table and I sat myself in the seat adjacent to him, seeing as it made the most sense to me that this was where the Duchess would sit.

It made me wonder… Why was the dining table so long? We had a banquet hall for the longer tables if we had to entertain guests, but the dining room was for more personal meals; there shouldn't be a need for a 14-seat dining table, even if Heero ate his meals with his advisors and their spouses.

My eyes flitted to Quatre, who was nursing a cup of tea. Actually, why was he hungover? Even after that time I got him day-drunk, he'd never showed any signs of being hungover; I thought that he was just like me and didn't experience those side effects.

Baby blue eyes glanced up and met mine. He smiled, eyes darting to Trowa sat beside him, and then down into his lap with obvious emphasis. The meaning clicked a second later, and this time it was my turn to drop my fork as my face heated up.

It wasn't the idea that Quatre had, uh, enjoyed his husband's return so thoroughly last night that elicited the reaction – it was that it suddenly reminded me of what I had done last night; namely, unintentionally propositioning Heero for sex.

In my defense, throughout the countless books and manuals Lady Aurora had me read regarding marital duties, along with whatever vague knowledge I retained on medieval periods from my history classes back home, I thought I had been obligated to sleep with Heero at least once upon his return. And I mean, I was no stranger to the occasional one-night stand, and Heero was guaranteed to be a decent guy given his male lead status, so I could do it! I just needed a little liquid courage is all!

And then like a true romantic lead, he refused to take advantage of my drunken self. I was mostly relieved by it, but at the same time – it was a bit mortifying remembering that I had basically told him to treat me gently.

"You know what, I'm not talking to you anymore," I told Quatre, voice maybe just a little high.

Quatre gave a noncommittal hum. "I didn't say anything though?"

"Meilan, make Quatre stop being mean to me."

"No."

Vipers! Vipers everywhere I turn!

"What's going on?" Wufei hissed quietly to his wife.

Meilan mumbled into her congee, pointedly not looking at anyone.

Giving up on the two traitors I called friends – Quatre looking especially amused by my disgruntlement, the bastard – I determinedly turned to Heero. He was looking at some indistinct spot in the center of the table, for all intents and purposes zoned out; maybe I should introduce him to espresso, the poor guy could use some caffeine shots.

"Heero, do you have some time today? There's something I need to speak to you about," I said, glancing back to Hilde and flicking my gaze from my coffee to Heero, silent instructions clear. Hilde just looked pained though, probably because I'd failed to have my first meal with my husband without some breach in etiquette, although I was fully ready to blame that on Quatre.

Heero lifted his gaze to me, unperturbed. "…I have to review the guards' training after breakfast," he told me. "But I have time in the afternoon."

"That'd be fine!" I agreed. I had to review the estate budget and supplies again anyway, given our returned forces, not to mention go over the new additions to the estate that Heero had gifted to me. (Hilde had looked rather murderous after she told me that, which made me kind of worried – what the hell did Heero bring back home?) A meeting in the afternoon would be perfect. "Oh, and would you mind accompanying me to the town market this weekend?" I need to show you how much has changed!

Heero stared at me.

"Not to go shopping!" I hurriedly reassured him, trying to read the look on his face. Maybe just like Asahi, he was having war flashbacks to other-me's shopping sprees? "Just to enjoy the day!"

Heero continued to stare at me.

"The Duke says yes, he would love to," Quatre stated serenely.

I turned a bewildered look on the blonde. But he didn't say anything?

Quatre placed a hand over his heart as if to say, 'I could sense it.'

Which, given what I knew about him, made sense – but still. I glanced back to Heero, who had his eyes now on Quatre with an almost lost look on his face. Did he really hate going with me that much?

Quatre shook his head. 'He wants to go with you,' he seemed to insist.

Wufei snorted, darting a dismissive look my way while Trowa kept silent, his attention entirely focused on his bread roll. It was obvious they were refusing to acknowledge me (or my plans with Heero) in any way that could be construed as supportive.

"…I am begging you to have this conversation out loud," Meilan suddenly said, voice dry.

I blinked. "We're having a weekend date," slipped out of my mouth without my thinking it through.

Heero's fork once again clattered back down on to his plate.

Jesus Christ, Hilde, get him some coffee!

It turned out that reviewing all of the new additions to the estate was the more laborious task of my morning, as Quatre had deigned to grace us simple-minded accountants with his skills and dropped off the completed account and budget of our returned forces on my desk. (I professed my undying love and awe of his skills the moment I saw it.) This gave me the rest of my morning moving from room to room in the estate in order to view the ridiculous amount of gifts Heero had given me.

I tried to get out of it by just delegating the task to Hilde, but she told me (with a parody of a smile that was more a threatening baring of her teeth) that it was my job to approve her choice of placement and design. This really just meant I had to look at every little thing, pretend to think about it, and agree.

Which got old at the tenth roll of silk I was presented.

When I asked if that was the last one, Melissa got a little wild-eyed so I wisely stopped asking and let them parade all of the fabrics past me, with vague appreciative sentiments falling from my lips. I was partly amused by the small army of decorative screens I now had, but had been told (scolded) by Hilde when I'd tried to arrange them like a maze in my study because Hilde was a firm believer in making everything as excruciating as possible.

Lunch was taken separately for today; I had mine in my office, as did Quatre, and I think Heero and Commander Barton took theirs down at the training grounds. Meilan and Wufei must have had theirs together, which I thought was good since it gave them some alone time.

I spent the early part of the afternoon preparing for my meeting with Heero. I was joined by Howard and Quatre, and together we pored over everything we had researched and compiled to make this meeting as effective as possible.

When I'd be given word that Heero was finally on his way back from the training grounds, Howard and Quatre left so that I could quickly change outfits. As much as I appreciated the hard work my maids put into dressing me in Duchess Couture, I needed a more business-like outfit when it came to what I had planned. Hilde helped me dress in something more understated (and comfortable!), a simple dark violet tunic with embroidered flowers along the seams matched with simple beige pants, and rearranged my hair back into my favored single braid hairstyle.

Once I snapped my favorite choker back on, Howard came back and let us know that Heero was now ready for our meeting. Both he and Hilde followed a couple of steps behind me as I made my way towards the Duke's study, both carrying the materials needed with solemnity.

Stationed outside of the Duke's study were the customary guards, although I didn't recognize them – which meant they must be part of Heero's personal guard retinue and had gone with him on the expedition. Their eyes tightened at my appearance but they gave no other obvious expression of distaste, something that clearly bothered the people around me – especially Sayaka and Mifune, following behind us.

The Duchess Guard had become more tense, due in part to the sudden influx of members. Apparently there were some members who had gone abroad with Heero, and upon their return, were added back into the rotations; between the guards I knew, to the new ones that they'd just started training, and now these returned guards – personalities were clashing.

I'd met the new leader of the Duchess Guard just this morning, and it was clear to me that Simon had not been a fan of the original Duchess. He'd never been outright rude, but it was obvious in some of the things he did and said that he didn't understand why I needed such intense protection. (I agreed with him, but Mikhail – standing behind Simon – looked downright mutinous.) He'd reduced my guard to two soldiers while within and outside of the estate, and it looked like today that was Sayaka and Mifune.

We were brought into Heero's study in quick order, Quatre already waiting for us and standing as soon as we entered. Heero did much the same from behind his desk, eyes alighting on me and staying there – possibly trying to understand what warranted my outfit change. His attention soon shifted focus when he caught sight of Hilde and Howard hovering behind me, carrying our gathered reports and plans.

"Duo..." God, I really missed someone calling me by my given name; every time Heero did, my heart seemed to soar.

Heero gestured for me to take a seat in the lounge area, which was really very sweet of him but I didn't think it was appropriate for me to recline languidly on the sofa as I tried to explain orphanage reformation to him. Instead, I shook my head and gestured for him to retake his seat, as was proper if I was going to introduce new legislation to the Duke.

Unfortunately, Heero was not just a Duke – he was a goddamn male lead, which meant he was honor-bound not to let his poor, waif-like dandy husband stand for longer than 15 seconds while he got to relax in a chair. However, this poor, waif-like dandy had no intention of breaking my thin veneer of professionalism – which left us in a silent stalemate, taking turns gesturing to various pieces of furniture in the room and waiting for the other to give in.

This fun game of reverse-musical chairs was put to an abrupt end when Quatre dragged over one of the armchairs from the lounge area to set it in front of Heero's desk, and the beatific smile he gave me was more than enough of a threat – I sat my ass down, trying not to look terrified.

Heero finally took his own seat, glancing towards Howard. "Howard, could you get the Duchess some refreshments?"

Howard nodded, politely setting his bundle of materials on the Duke's desk and departing. Hilde did the same before she took up position near the door, stationary and uninvolved in the discussion. Quatre had already dragged over another armchair beside mine, claiming it as his own but quiet, clearly there in support of me rather than leading.

Heero's eyes darted from the papers and back to me. "What was it you'd like to discuss?"

I'm sure there was a certain way to suggest and develop reformations, some kind of formalized process mired in bureaucracy and polite language. People that were able to navigate such discussions without giving in to the need to slam 300+ pages of proposed legislation into the face of their opponents honestly had my respect and admiration, because this was something I'd never thought I would be involved in.

But hell, no time like the present! "We need to change how we run orphanages, because the current state of them sucks," I told Heero frankly.

…Amazing, I could hear Hilde sigh even from all the way over here!

"Phrasing," Quatre chimed in with muted exasperation.

Everyone's a critic.

But alright, Heero's expression had shifted somewhere between 'thoughtful glowering' to 'confused glowering', so I guess he needed a more thorough explanation. "While visiting the Blackwell Orphanage here in town, we learned some concerning things about how the orphanages are run," I began.

Heero's expression shifted infinitesimally from 'constipated glowering' to an outright frown. "Is that the place where you were attacked?"

Attacked? "…Oh, you mean by the guy with the hatchet?"

Heero's frown morphed right back into a glower.

"Um, no," I coughed out awkwardly. "Blackwell was awful in its own special way: their potato soup didn't have any taste."

Heero's glower blanked out into nothingness. "…Taste?" he echoed, as if I was Hannibal Lecter remarking on the fine taste of wine and human flesh.

"Do you know what it means that a meal doesn't have any taste, Heero?" I asked him. "Do you know what that says about the people who make and eat it?"

"…That they can't cook?"

"No!" I exclaimed. "It means they can't afford flavor! It means they can't afford other vegetables! They can't afford seasonings or meat or herbs! They can't even afford some salt to add to their boiled potato sludge!"

"Did you really hate the potato soup that much?" I heard Hilde mutter under her breath.

Quatre just looked like he was in pain and was valiantly trying to hide it behind a grim smile. "Your Grace, please sit down," he advised. "And Your Grace the Duke – please review the materials before you. His Grace the Duchess worked on the bulk of it himself, with only some minor help from both myself and Mr. Howard."

I frowned at him. "You did more than that. You helped calculate the allocated budget for the pathway program and its funding, not to mention—"

"But Your Grace, you're the one who created the budget for the restructuring, not to mention the estimates for building more communal residences—"

I noticed Heero flipping open one of the stacked reports, pausing briefly just as Howard had done on the first page. He was quick to move on though, reading at a much faster pace than Howard or even me – and I had no doubt in my mind that he was reading and remembering every line. That's the power of the male lead!

So cool! Heero's really too cool! Not even including his astonishingly good looks, he was still awesome; he had the strength of a tank and the moral backbone of any titular superhero, not to mention his foolishly kind heart that empowered him to help the weak. A literal princess fell for him – and who wouldn't?

"…just put the tea on the table, Mr. Howard, I'm sure the Duchess will notice it once he's done slobbering over the Duke…"

Heero's head shot up so fast from the papers that it probably should have snapped his neck, but I just turned away from his surprised glower to glare at Quatre. "You know, I liked you a lot better when you were sex-deprived," I told him and watched in satisfaction as he choked on his drink.

Howard pushed a cup of warm tea into my hands, and I focused on that so that I could avoid Heero's gaze. I soon regretted it when the overly-sweet taste hit my tongue, and I only barely stopped myself from spitting it out back into the cup. Jesus, I forgot some of the returning forces were other cooks and servants, so they'd probably missed the memo that the Duchess wasn't a fan of sweet things anymore.

Quatre, nursing a cup of coffee that had also been served to Heero, remained quiet but gave me a knowing glance as I set the teacup back down on the table. One sip was more than enough for that cup of syrupy glucose masquerading as tea.

Heero eventually turned back to reading our reports, and I relaxed slightly. It wasn't that I thought Heero wouldn't like the proposal – it was more that I wasn't sure he thought it would be worth the effort right now.

Sanc was a kingdom in a near-constant state of war. It was for this reason that the Yuy duchy was as honored and strong as it was; as the main resource for soldiers and weaponry, the Yuy duchy had solidified its hold of power through bloodshed. The war with Oz and Romefeller had been background in the novel and ended in an almost laughable way: with the unexpected death of the King of Oz, murdered by one of his own concubines. The most Heero and the others had been involved in was the occasional skirmish, and some notable assassination attempts after Relena had been revealed as the lost princess.

The novel hadn't gone too far into their happily-ever-after, ending only after Oz conceded defeat and Romefeller fell into quiet ruin. In a novel, they didn't have to worry about the future – about what it meant when the war machine that had powered an entire duchy to prominence suddenly wasn't needed anymore.

In peace, what use did Sanc have for soldiers?

It had never been addressed in the book, frankly because it had never gotten that far – but the Yuy duchy, even with the discovery of the iron ore mines, still had soldiers as its primary export; people from Yuy dominated the bulk of the Sanc Kingdom's military force. This had been all well and good when they had ongoing battles with Oz and Romefeller, but what happened when the war was finally over?

That's why when I was considering improving the Yuy duchy, it wasn't just for the present; it was for the future when I was no longer the Duchess and Heero became King-Consort. He would lead not just his own duchy, but also the entire kingdom of Sanc into a new age of peace, and what better way to start than by having the people of his duchy become something other than weapons of war?

Heero finished the last report, taking a moment to breathe and simply stare off into space in thought. His fingers rested against the top stack of reports, and then his eyes turned to me. "You want to put the orphanages under the care of the duchy, open free schooling to all children, and use the revenue from taxation to fund it," he summarized blankly.

That certainly vastly simplified the 300+ pages of proposed legislation, construction plans, accounts, budgeting, staffing, possible pathway programs and apprenticeships, healthcare, and possible barriers to overcome that made up the sleepless nights myself, Howard, and Quatre had put into this.

"Yes," I answered.

"…Duo," The way Heero sometimes said my name was obscene, his voice practically cradled the syllables. "What brought this on?"

"Do I need a reason to want to improve the lives of our people?" I asked him coolly.

Heero was very still. "You don't," he agreed after a breath. "But Duo—"

"Heero, do you want to turn every child in this province into a soldier?" I cut him off.

I'd already seen what happened to a standing army that had no enemy to fight and didn't think that was what Relena would want for her people. Heero, for all his military prowess, had also never loved war and all it entailed; so I couldn't believe he was happy churning out soldier after soldier when it came to the people he was responsible for.

"Your Grace—" Quatre began, fairly radiating distress as he looked at me, caught off-guard by my words. But frankly, I had no attention to spare him, eyes on Heero who suddenly looked very wan even in the warm afternoon light.

"I already know that's not what you want," I said, ignoring the way Heero's expression – usually so rigid – seemed to look almost vulnerable. "You're not the type of person who thinks of others as only tools to use or weapons to wield."

Heero may look like the typical brooding male love interest, but that all hid a heart of gold. He was the type of person you could count on to have your back and let you crash at their place without complaint, even if he did have almost no social skills.

"I think that if we want to ensure the prosperity of the Yuy province, then we have to start with our children," I said. "Making sure every child is clothed, fed, and educated is part of our job as the Duke and Duchess of Yuy, isn't it?"

I was more than familiar with a childhood that had lacked at least one of those at some point. Heero, raised as a commoner, had surely been the same.

"I brought this up because it's something I want to do, Heero," I finished gently. "That's it. Whether that was prompted by duty, or obligation, or whimsy – what does it matter?"

After all, tHe eNdS juStiFy ThE mEaNs.

I caught myself on the edge of Heero's desk after the sudden dizzy spell. Heero and Quatre had both sprung to their feet, Quatre with one hand under my arm and Heero moving around his desk and to my side so fast that I hardly saw him move.

"What the hell," I muttered. "Is this some kind of delayed hangover?"

My stomach cramped up in pain, and I nearly toppled again before Heero caught me under the other arm so I was hanging like a limpet between him and Quatre. I would have been more embarrassed, but any sort of feeling was swallowed up by the overwhelming sense of nausea.

I vomited right on to Heero's ugly yellow boots.

Well, fuck. "I'd apologize, but honestly, those shoes had to go," I muttered, although I wondered how much of that sentence was understandable given that my mouth decided it didn't want to cooperate with me anymore.

"He's been poisoned." Quatre's words sounded from somewhere simultaneously far away and close to my ear, but at least I could clearly identify the tone – that was the 'imminent beheading' tone. Oh boy.

Poison. Well, that explained the sudden onslaught of stomach pain and nausea. My neck also felt like it was burning, both on the inside and out; I tried to pull my arm away to reach for my throat, but this only made Heero reach over and pull me fully up into his arms.

The bridal carry did not help with the nausea, but I just tried not to dwell on it as the room erupted into shouts and movement. I didn't really have enough energy to focus on much more than myself, so I just laid back and blindly felt for my throat where the choker rested. My fingertips pressed against the cool metal and pearls, and it felt so comforting against the burning hot fire that was starting to rage along my skin.

I was set down on something soft – a bed? – but it smelled only vaguely familiar and nothing like my own bed, so it couldn't be that. I willed open my eyes after realizing they'd somehow slipped closed without my say-so, and sure enough – this looked like the Duke's bedchambers.

I vomited again, though I did manage to do so over the side of the bed. I was actually kind of impressed with myself for all of five seconds before I nearly toppled over the edge and into it, saved by Heero gently moving me back onto the bed.

My thoughts circled around Heero for a long moment, not really hearing anything he was saying. That was fine, though, because he looked to be snapping out orders to the people swarming in and out of his room rather than talking to me directly.

"Heero," I called out, suddenly remembering. "Heero, you gotta… Gotta tell Quatre…"

Heero's eyes snapped down to me. "Duo, it's okay… It's okay, just hang on, Sally's coming," he said distractedly.

That was not what I was concerned about! I heard Quatre's tone, and I knew what that meant! "No, Heero… Tell Quatre no killing…" No killing the people that poisoned me.

…Poisoned me?

Wait – is this an assassination?

"Am I…being assasuh—assah—assaininated?" Urgh, words are hard. "I…I gotta tell Mikhail…"

Heero stared down at me. "What?"

What does he mean, what? "I'm getting assassined," I told him plaintively. "Mikhail's gonna hate this." This was way better than just another hostage situation! Mikhail was sure to buy into my damsel in distress act now!

But wait – if I was being assassinated, then doesn't that mean I'm dead? "Oh no… Hilde is going to be so mad…" I gasped out. To think, someone had managed to off me before Hilde's long-term 'kill them with kindness' ploy could!

"I'm already mad, Your Grace," Hilde told me evenly, suddenly right beside me.

My heart definitely jumped, and I don't think it was because of the poison. I grabbed the edge of Heero's shirt, the closest thing in my reach, just to make sure he didn't leave me alone with her. Hilde ignored that, laying a cool cloth against my forehead and looking to Heero.

"He needs to vomit more," she told him.

"Noooo…" I whined. "I don't hate Heero's shoes that much…"

"Is it already in his bloodstream? He's delirious." That was said in Wufei's voice, though I had no clue where he was. All I could really see was Heero, with Hilde in the periphery, and I was perfectly fine with only looking at Heero, thank you very much.

"You're delirious," I grumbled.

Sally suddenly came into view, which was perfectly fine – I loved Sally, she was great, she never even seemed that annoyed when I bled all over her in our previous interactions – but her arrival did cause Heero to move away, which was the last thing I wanted. Unlike Heero, Sally could not protect me from Hilde.

"Heero, where're you going?" I asked, maybe sounding just a tad bit more frantic than was justifiable. "Don't leave…"

"I won't," Heero's disembodied voice said.

I would have complained about that but Sally's hands were all over me now, peeling back an eyelid and peering into my eyes. She checked my pulse, heartbeat, and even had me spit into a cup as if she had some kind of secret lab to do tests on it.

I wanted to make a joke about Sally turning into some kind of mad scientist, but that was when she propped up a cup of what looked like granulated tar to my mouth. "Your Grace, please drink this—"

I don't know if it was the color, or the taste, or the texture, or just the angle as she poured it into my mouth – but my body was not having it and I choked on the first swallow. It almost felt like my arm spasmed as I knocked the drink out of her hand, and I felt like some kind of wild animal as I felt the sludge drip down my throat and out from the corners of my mouth.

"Don't want it, I don't want it!" I think I shrieked.

Something slammed into the window and shattered the glass. I think I heard Coralina scream – she was in here too? – and my vision suddenly cleared as I could see the whole breadth of the room again. It turned out all of my maids were here, and Melissa had thrown a torn curtain over what looked to be a shrieking mass of feathers, Coralina and Kaori trying to help her. Sally, splattered with the black drink concoction I hadn't intentionally meant to throw back at her, was already up and making another one next to my bed. Hilde was to my right, hands twisted into the cooling towel she had been dabbing me with previously and looking at me with wide eyes. Heero was to my immediate left, hands partially outstretched like he didn't know whether to restrain me or hold me.

Wufei was in fact in the room, angrily flipping through some kind of book that I guess served as some kind of poison anthology, as he was quickly snapping out orders to the servants loitered outside the door to bring either ingredients or cleaning supplies. Quatre was nowhere to be seen, which meant Heero hadn't heeded my (admittedly kinda delirious) words from before and the blonde was likely enjoying free reign to find whoever did this, possibly with Meilan and Trowa's help as they were missing from the party too.

I leaned over the side and vomited again. This time, instead of the food I had enjoyed earlier in the day, what felt like a glob of molasses found its way out of my throat – along with a good mouthful of blood.

I stared at the mess on the floor with glassy eyes, somehow just knowing the thick, dark brown glob was the cause of all this. It WaS iN thE tEa, that's why it was so sweet—

"That's so gross," I managed out, almost relieved by the taste of iron in my mouth because at least it wasn't whatever the fuck was on the floor.

No one else shared my sudden relief, as Heero picked me up and set me back against the pillows, expression so rigid it looked like his face forgot what it even meant to emote. His voice hadn't gotten the same memo, though, as it choked out "Sally!" in such a way that it felt like I should start panicking too.

"I think I'm fine now," I tried to console him because Heero wasn't supposed to be panicking. In fact, if anyone was supposed to be panicking, wasn't it supposed to be the guy getting assassinated?

"Please—His Grace needs to drink this, it will help absorb the poison," Sally rushed out, bringing over another cup of black tar.

I could keenly remember the taste of cinders in my mouth just by looking at it. "I don't want it, Heero, don't make me drink it," I begged him. "I already spit the poison out, look, it's on the floor—"

"Duo, please," Heero said, hands coming down to grasp my wrists in a gentle but firm hold. He must have felt my pulse pick up because his grip tightened a bit more as my agitation grew.

Kaori let out a yelp as the mound of black feathers began to tussle more violently, and between the three girls, it was obvious they only had a tenuous grip on what had to be the world's most volatile bird. Mikhail came surging through the doorway at Wufei's command, moving directly toward Melissa, who had used the torn curtain to bundle the unexpected visitor up.

"It's badly injured—I think from crashing through the window," I heard her say, just as Mikhail made to reach for it.

Sally's fingers grasped my chin and angled my head, Wufei beside her helping to pry my unhelpful mouth open. The first drop of what I guessed was the remedy or cure to whatever poison I'd ingested hit my tongue, and then what felt like every cell in my body surged up in a loud cry of 'DO NOT WANT!'

The bird tore itself free of its curtained cocoon with a shriek so loud that I felt it throb against my eardrums. It launched itself in Sally's direction, and the only thing saving her from a face full of bird talons was Wufei striking out with one hand (the other hand still busy helping Sally pry my mouth open), smacking the bird harshly away in a spray of feathers and gore. Hilde dashed forward, grabbing the torn curtain from the floor and pulling it over the crushed remains of the black bird, even as it began to twitch. She quickly scooped it up from the floor, keeping its spasming body within the confines of her impromptu bag.

I wanted to tell them to not be so hard on the poor thing, but I couldn't get much of anything out as Sally determinedly forced the entire cupful of liquid black cement down my throat. It didn't hurt but the texture could only generously be described as grainy, and for some reason my body had a lethal grudge against anything that looked like it had been scooped right out of the fireplace and poured into my mouth.

My face was finally released from their tender mercies after the entire cup had been drained and I didn't spit it back out, although I had half a mind to roleplay as that acid-spitting dinosaur. I'd already spit up on Sally though, it seemed petty to do so again when my head finally felt somewhat clear.

I wasn't quite big-hearted enough to endure her prodding again though and flinched away when she made to check me over.

"His pulse is steadying," Heero reported, since he still had one hand wrapped around my wrist.

Sally nodded curtly, then reached for me again. With deft and quick hands, she ascertained my temperature and checked for any abnormalities in my mouth and throat. "The skin is showing signs of irritation," she noted aloud, fingers scraping lightly over the length of my neck – from the top of my throat to the hollow of my collar bone.

It was only after I had half-crawled into Heero's lap that she was at least partially satisfied. Wufei took the moment to crouch down at the bedside, using some paper scraps to scoop up what I'd vomited out, the dark glob among his retrieval. Eww.

"He'll need to be monitored overnight to ensure the toxins successfully leave his body," Sally explained, and I got to enjoy another speak-around-me-but-not-to-me session as she directed all her words to Heero. "He also needs lots of fluids and rest."

God, not more bedrest! I opened my mouth to argue but ended up spitting out some leftover blood that I guess had just been congealing in my throat. Heero ripped the blood-stained sheets off the bed and threw them on to the floor, and I was suddenly reminded whose bedroom I was currently in.

Heero's voice was very even as he spoke. "Prepare a sponge bath and new change of clothes for the Duchess," he ordered crisply, the maids hurriedly scattering to do as asked. "Bring whatever Doctor Po requires for her overnight observation here."

Here? As in Heero's bedroom? "I… I can go back to my own room, Heero…" I offered tentatively, scratching at the back of my neck. It felt a bit raw and itchy after all of the drama.

"You shouldn't be moved right now, Your Grace," Sally interjected, now looking over her case of supplies and scratching out a list of medicines for the servants to bring her.

"I can sleep in another room, Duo," Heero told me, slowly disentangling himself from the half-perch he'd been dragged into.

My eyes caught Hilde just behind his shoulder, who was currently giving the occasionally-flailing curtain-bag she held a murderous look. I'd seen murder in her eyes before – practically since the first day – but I think this was the first time I'd ever felt that maybe she was a thread away from snapping into full-blown homicide.

The thought of being left alone in hers and Sally's vengefully professional mercies made my heart leap with panic. I latched back on to Heero in desperation, one hand wrapped around his wrist similar to how his hand had shackled mine, the other tangled in his shirt.

"Please don't leave," I begged. Don't leave me alone with them, I'll never hear the end of their lecture!

Heero froze, standing at what had to be the most uncomfortable angle. "Duo…?"

He sounded so vulnerable – which meant my pleading was working. Quatre had subjected me to enough guilt trips that I knew exactly how to work one myself. I tried to drag him closer but Heero was as sturdy as a rock, so I only ended up tiring myself out. Even with shaking limbs, I utterly refused to let him go.

Meilan and Quatre weren't here to act as buffers and shield me from Hilde's imminent lecture on proper behavior – I doubt any leeway was given for fighting the doctor and vomiting in public, even if it was because of poison – so I clung to Heero like a barnacle.

Heero's hands covered mine, gently disentangling my stranglehold on his shirt and then his wrist. His expression – which had originally looked as murderous as Hilde's but lacked her killing intent – was softened to something more thoughtful, even though his lips turned down at the corners in a seemingly-perpetual frown.

"…I'll stay," he promised me softly.

Shield acquired!

A/N: Let me just say this right now - it's not Howard, the old man is innocent! And yes, I am just excitedly crossing out romance/fantasy/villainess tropes, although I will admit I had been torn on where I should use the attempted poisoning trope... Then I just imagined Heero's reaction to the impromptu sleepover and couldn't help myself.

Honestly, this whole thing entertained me to the nth degree:

Hilde & Melissa: BIRD?!

Duo: BIRD?!

Bird: AAaaAaaAAAaaAAaAaaAHHhHhhhHHHhHhhHH!

Please be kind and drop a review! :)