A/N: I have no idea how I am updating so fast 😂

Chapter Summary:

The Choker: Do you want to be a necromancer?

Duo: No

The Choker: Too bad :)

Warnings for this chapter: bear (Commander Broden I hope you're happy), not-too-descriptive-but-still-disturbing gore, zombie raven (LOL MY FAVE)

Chapter 31

Road trips generally had never been easy, but this was even more so for the time period before cars. The longest time I'd ever spent traveling since I first arrived here was when I toured around the province, hitting Taketoyo, Sawara, and Aoba-ku. Even then, we had moved with a small group and were finished within 3 weeks. That was three whole weeks where my only companion was Hilde inside the carriage.

And to no one's surprise, Hilde had the patience of a saint when it came to me.

"If you sing one more song about the wheels of the carriage," Meilan snarled, murder in her bloodshot eyes. "I'm going to rip out your tongue."

I closed my mouth slowly, settling back into my seat with a slow-growing smile. Four days - that's not bad. It took only 32 hours before Mikhail started looking wild-eyed when I sang my way through the provincial tour trip.

Hilde just gave a tired sigh in response from beside me, although Coralina sitting stiffly in the seat next to Meilan looked appropriately worried. I supposed someone had to be if Meilan was throwing around violent threats.

"Well, you didn't want to play I-Spy," I complained airily. "You brought this on yourself."

Meilan leaned forward with crazy eyes. "We played that for four straight hours," she hissed at me. "By the end, you were just ogling the Duke!"

I felt myself blush but stubbornly held my ground. I mean, what else was I going to pick - we'd already gone through everything inside the carriage by that point, and all I had left was whatever I could see outside my window. I could only choose tree-based colors so many times before I went crazy too.

"You're just mad 'cause you lost," I said.

"How the hell was I supposed to know his lip color?! I CAN'T EVEN SEE HIS FACE FROM THIS ANGLE-"

There was a knock on the side of the carriage door. "Is everything all right in there?" came Wufei's disembodied voice, before an outside hand pulled back the curtains. Sunlight filtered in unencumbered, a gentle breeze passing through as we continued rolling along.

Wufei was glaring into the carriage through the now open window. "You two aren't playing that stupid game again, are you?"

"Your face is stupid!" Meilan immediately retorted.

I tried to bite back my grin. "No one appreciates my ingenuity," I muttered.

"Your 'ingenuity' ended up with you falling out of the carriage yesterday after attempting to catch the butterfly that flew in, Your Grace," Hilde drolly recalled.

That had been fun, and also the first time I got my name shouted at me in surround sound. Heero had seemingly materialized out of nowhere when I got about half my body thrust out the window, riding his horse at equal speed to the carriage. Meilan and Hilde had yanked me back inside just as the butterfly landed on Heero's messy-haired head.

"I'd pay good money for a picture of Heero with a butterfly on his head," I said in open admiration. He looked like an art piece!

Meilan groaned, throwing her head back with a low smack! against the wall of the carriage. "Do not start gushing about the Duke again," she whined.

"I don't gush about him!" I was quick to refute, face burning. She made it sound like I talked about Heero all the time! "I make, uh, very normal and civil observations about him!"

Identical looks of disgust came upon both hers and Wufei's faces. Coralina, however, now had her hands clasped together in excitement as she looked at me. "Of course, it's understandable the Duchess admires the Duke!" she said excitedly. "Not only is he so handsome he puts even the most beautiful artworks to shame, but he's also of virtuous character!"

I shot her a pleased smile. That's right - Heero should be appreciated for being such an awesome Male Lead.

Wufei snapped the curtain closed, though his words were loud and clear: "Your Grace, the Duchess wishes to see you!"

But I didn't have any butterflies on hand?

The curtain opened a moment later, Heero's stonily-concerned face peering in and meeting my eyes. "Is everything alright?" he asked, glancing over everyone present before looking back at me. "Did you need to take a break?"

I also looked over the others: Coralina was beaming at me with a way-too-supportive gaze, Hilde's expression was caught somewhere between 'dwindling tolerance' and 'bloodlust', and Meilan was right on the verge of 'manslaughter'.

"We're fine," I told him with a grin. We'd already taken a break earlier, and if we wanted to make good time before setting up camp today, we needed to keep pushing. Even if Meilan and Hilde eviscerated me the next time that curtain closed.

Wufei's voice came from nearby: "The Duchess just wanted to see your face."

Heero's hand on the curtain tightened briefly, the only sign of a reaction. "...Duo, are you sure you don't want to take a break?"

I want to shove sugary chiffon cake down Wufei's throat again. "I'm really okay, Heero! Where are we stopping for the night?"

"We'll make camp in about two hours. It's a clearing we usually stop in on our way to the Capital," Heero dutifully responded. "We have about a week left until the next town - Gilbury."

He paused for a moment, before reaching one hand in through the window to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "There's a small flower field near there," Heero told me. "I'll take you to it. I think you'll like it."

My fucking heart! "O-Okay," I managed out of a dry throat.

I thought I'd gotten more comfortable with Heero; his expressions were getting easier to read now, and he'd lightened up enough to at least play along when I acted out or tried to get a rise out of the others. He was also very fun to tease - he didn't really blush, but the way his facial features stiffened was too cute to leave alone.

But every now and then, he'd say something like this: romantic, occasionally even flirtatious, and that just made all the words I wanted to say dry right up and out of my throat. The worst part was that sometimes - I wanted to say them back.

Heero pulled back with one last lingering look, before falling out of step with the carriage. I fell back into my seat, ignoring the knowing looks from the three women and instead fiddling with the end of my braid.

It's normal for Heero to act this way. For one, he was a goddamn Male Lead - romance practically flowed in his veins. Second, for all intents and purposes, I was his spouse; Heero was too good a man to act coldly to his husband, even if he didn't actually love him. Acting romantically with his given spouse only fell within what was expected of him.

And it would all eventually be for naught, anyway.

After all, once we reached the Capital - Heero's real love interest would finally appear.

The meals taken on the road were more out of convenience than luxury, so I had been prepared to eat flavorless meat jerky and stale bread - the first things that came to mind when Quatre had sat me down before we started off and patiently informed me that most meals eaten were for sustenance and not pleasure.

"Your Grace, would you like another serving?" Daigo asked me brightly, holding up a ladle full of pigeon stew. It was well-seasoned and flavorful, still steaming hot and the last portion I'd eaten happily warming my belly.

Quat… I think you and I have very different definitions of survival food…

"I'm good, Daigo, thanks," I replied, ruffling the kid's hair before I could help myself. "It was delicious, by the way - you're learning well!" Daigo beamed at me, and I saw Chef Morris look at him in approval.

It was already past sundown now; we'd stopped a few hours ago, but the camp was lively and bustling. There were several campfires burning around, a small group clustered around each one as people finished their meals or started preparing for tomorrow's continuation of the journey. I had my own little carriage group with me, with the addition of Quatre as well; Trowa was off with his sister, taking care of the horses, whereas Heero and Wufei were dealing with supplies.

I stood from my seat after passing my dirty bowl to a waiting Coralina. "I'll be right back," I said, already moving away.

"Where are you going?" came at me from several directions; from Hilde, Meilan, and Quatre by the fireside, and also Berion who was perched up in a tree.

It's so hard being popular… "The bathroom, if that's okay?" I told them dryly.

Quatre glanced in the direction of a nearby bush.

"No fucking way, Quat," I said immediately. "I will be right back."

Hilde stood up, clearly intending to follow me.

"I can go to the bathroom by myself," I said, pivoting and striding away before Hilde or the others thought to rebel against me.

To my relief, I didn't hear anyone following me - not even Berion. I could definitely feel their eyes on me though, and I doubt they'd sit still long if I moved too far away. I ended up handling my business on a shallow decline hidden from view, washing my hands in a nearby stream and quickly trekking back into eyesight before they started sending out the search parties.

I ended up closer to where the knights were set up. There weren't many - most of them were my Duchess Guards, actually, since Heero kept a few squadrons at his estate in the Capital, and between him, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei - they overpowered entire battalions.

This inevitably meant that I knew most everyone we were currently traveling with, aside from a few peripheral soldiers meant to help with transportation and extra knights for backup. I was happy to see that Lianna, the orphan girl from Blackwell who was now working as a page to the knight Honoka, was also among the few in attendance.

The only real oddity that stood out to me was the man I now saw conversing with Asahi.

He was an older man - definitely past middle-aged, looking more like the kind of person you find breathing out cigarette smoke in some bingo hall, although one that wasn't in a retirement home. I could only describe his hair as mushroom-shaped, seemingly defiant of gravity and covering all but the lower half of his face and one eye, which had a puckered scar running vertically over it, down to the corner of his lips. A prominent, beaked nose jutted out from the middle of his face, somehow just as eye-catching as his hairstyle.

I wandered over because I just could not help myself. "Hey Asahi," I waved in greeting, eyes darting between him and his weird friend. "How's it going?"

Asahi gave me a quick, polite bow as custom. Before he could respond, however, the man with the beaked nose looked straight at me with clinical fascination. "Your Grace," he greeted cordially, tone mellow and silken. He bowed lower than Asahi, but I got the feeling it was all a pretense - because his eye never wavered from me. "You look well."

Was he one of the people who thought I had spent the past year in recovery? I wondered if everyone thought I should look sickly. "Yes, I'm all better now!" I agreed. My eyes darted to Asahi with a pointed look.

"Your Grace, this is Professor G," Asahi introduced quickly. "He's-"

"We've met before," Professor G interrupted briskly.

Both Asahi and I froze.

Shit, I'm sure I would have remembered someone with such a bizarre haircut, but I had no recollection of meeting him - which meant that he'd met other-me. I knew I'd have to act like him eventually, but I was still learning the ropes of the Sanc Court even now; Hilde had spent quite a bit of time showing me small portraits of everyone I was supposed to be close to in the Capital (I'd been too scared to ask where she'd even gotten those from), and this guy certainly was not among that number!

"You may not remember me, however," Professor G continued after that heart-stopping second, casting another intense look my way. "You were very young, Your Grace."

What?

"O-Oh, so he was a cute little kid?" Asahi butt in with a chuckle.

Professor G was staring at me. "...I don't know if I would describe him as cute."

Rude.

"But you were certainly fascinating."

I blinked at the odd tone. Professor G never stopped looking at me, seemingly dissecting me with his eyes- it was an uncomfortable sensation. "Should I take that as a compliment?" I asked him brazenly, hoping to mask my discomfort with confidence.

"If you'd like."

Huh.

"Your Grace, Professor G is the one who helped make your Death's Door," Asahi interjected, clearly wanting to change the subject.

I wasn't entirely sure if this was a better choice though. I'd been touched by the thoughtfulness of my guard when they'd given me the beautiful little cabinet before we had set out; Asahi and Mifune had explained to me what this kind of altar was, and what materials had gone into its construction.

The Harvester religion was still something I was struggling to grasp, mostly because my only real source for it was Asahi himself. I'd learned about Death's Doors, the altars used to pay respects to the Harvester - decorative cabinets that served as doorways to commune with death.

The intricacies of the religion were what made it difficult. There were no holidays to celebrate or formal rites of passage; followers were either born and inherited their beliefs from their parents, or were later converted. Those converted had no ritual to go through - it was belief alone that guided it, and who could deny the existence of death?

The only real tenet that I'd learned from Asahi thus far when it came to the Harvester faith was their death rites, in how they put their dead to rest. "Bodies are nothing more than vessels, and once we die, we leave behind our flesh and bone and ghost," he had explained.

The 'ghost' part was the one that got me curious; initially, I had thought this was how they referred to 'souls', but that wasn't really it at all. To Asahi - and to all followers of the Harvester - these were less wandering souls and more like shades.

"Ghosts are echoes of who once had been, the residual impact of life," Asahi had said. "The Harvester collects our souls, and in the footprints left behind are who we were - our ghosts."

If other-me was a devout follower, then is that what he'd become? I'd taken over his flesh and blood and bone, but had his soul been collected by the deity he believed in, was his ghost still echoing across the places he'd been?

"It's very beautiful," I told the old artisan, now wanting to just leave. This will teach me to be curious. "Thank you for-"

Professor G snorted, pulling his gnarled fingers from his pocket; he was holding a small black bead between two fingers. "No point thanking me yet," he dismissed easily. "Not until you make your covenant using it."

I smiled in reply, resisting the urge to shoot Asahi a look. Was that how they referred to paying respects to the Harvester?

"Right," I chirped in reply. "Well, it's been nice meeting you. I should get back before Hilde sends a search party though, so good night!" If this was how all Harvester believers acted, I wasn't too keen on joining them. Granted, I'd only met three, if I counted the weird guy in the church whose face I couldn't even remember.

I quickly turned and fled.

We still had a few more days until we reached Gilbury - but I couldn't take it anymore.

"Is there somewhere I can bathe nearby?" I asked, voice almost muffled by the cloth I was attempting to smother myself with. We were on a short break at the moment, the girls and I getting a nice breath of non-carriage air as Quatre passed us some dried fruit for snacks. "It doesn't have to be a hot bath or anything, even a river will do…"

I couldn't believe I had been spoiled by Gilbert's fucking concoctions, but here I was wishing to pour the entire bottle of shampoo over my head. The problem was that while traveling, we didn't have the luxury of taking an entire fucking washtub with us - well, okay, we did, but I turned it down thinking I could tough it out - so Hilde usually just heated up a pot of water and sponged me clean, then dumped the rest of the water over my head.

"I guess you are starting to smell," Meilan observed callously.

I don't know what expression contorted my face, but it got immediate regret to unfurl over Meilan's before Quatre suddenly started moving. "One moment, I'll speak with the Duke," he said as he strode away.

"I mean, you don't smell bad," Meilan backtracked nervously. "I think I smell worse anyway."

So we're just a stinky group?!

Listen, I'd lived on the streets before so smelling like shit wasn't anything new to me. However, after smelling like fruits and flowers for the past year and having the convenience of a hot bath every night, being returned to this state was dredging up some unpleasant memories. Not to mention the itchy feeling of my scalp!

I should have made Gilbert develop dry shampoo before I left...

"...Duo."

I flinched at the voice, turning around quickly to greet Heero. He was fast approaching with Quatre on his heels, and I felt embarrassed about how spoiled I had been acting. Heero and the others were the ones out on horseback day in and day out, yet they suffered all that and more without complaint - but here I was, whining about not smelling like fucking apples.

Before I could open my mouth to dismiss the whole thing, Heero closed the distance between us. "There's a small freshwater lake near the spot we'll be camping at tonight," he told me, reaching out to gently twist a lock of my hair between his fingers. "You can take a bath there. It will be a little cold, but it's not too bad in the summer."

He leaned forward a bit, pressing the lock of hair to his lips as his eyes met mine. "And for the record… You don't smell bad at all."

This Male Lead-!

The camping spot was one of the smaller, less-used ones, going by the amount of vegetation growing in the clearing. It wasn't bad and all of the servants got everything set up in no time, but Trowa had started making pointed comments around me about not straying too far since the wild animals in this area were unlikely to avoid humans as some of the other ones had.

...Why does this guy always think I'm going to wander off?

It was still bright out since the plan was to wake up at dawn the next day and get more distance in to reach Gilbury quicker, so Chef Morris and Daigo were already hard at work making dinner as everyone worked on their usual chores.

Which left me with a little bit of time.

I stared into the depths of the Death's Door, hands interlocked and held in front of my chest. I resisted the urge to close my eyes; that was common for the Catholic prayer I had been raised in but I wasn't sure it was the same here.

At least, Asahi's eyes were still open - just like his mouth. "...and then you tell the Harvester all about your day," he explained.

I stared hard at the amethyst-laden walls of my altar. "...is it my mom or something?"

"Well, you don't have to… Everyone just says whatever they want, honestly. My uncle used to just recite out everything he wanted like he was reading out a grocery list," Asahi mused.

"Is that the uncle that sacrificed two goats to his?"

"Haha, yeah!"

Ugh. Quatre swore that this wasn't a death cult, but apparently there was some history of animal sacrifice for those who followed the Harvester. It wasn't common anymore, but according to Asahi, occasionally you'd hear a story here and there of people sacrificing farm animals to the Harvester when they prayed for things they wanted.

"...Do you know what I used to pray for?" I asked tentatively.

Asahi, by his own admission, had been guarding the Duchess of Yuy ever since Heero and I were married, just like Mikhail. It made sense, as he was one of the first to be called on to watch me, such as when I first went down to the town market. If anyone would have an idea on what other-me used to pray for, it should be one of the people paid to stalk him.

To my disappointment, Asahi shook his head. "When you prayed, Your Grace, you did so silently," he told me. "Although you used to lay fresh flowers in your Death's Door whenever you paid respects to it."

He looked back at the small cabinet with a smile. "I always found that fascinating, because aside from the initial ornaments, followers hardly gave fresh flowers as tokens," he continued. "But you piled them in and waited for them to dry out, then used the crushed petals to make beads."

I turned away from the altar to look at Asahi in muted surprise. The process itself reminded me of the time I had made rosary beads with Sister Helen, a mini-project she had done with us orphans. On special occasions, the church altar would be decorated with fresh flowers; after the event had passed, Sister Helen and the other nuns would gather the dead flowers and crush them to make rosaries, which could then be given as gifts for those who donated.

"I don't remember finding any beads though?" I told him. Going through all of other-me's belongings was one of the first things I did, and I'm sure I would have remembered seeing rosary beads, even if that's not what they're called here.

Asahi shrugged, "You made quite a bit, as far as I remember, but I don't know what you did with them."

What the hell, did I hide them in a treasure chest or something? Other-me had some really weird hobbies. I decided to finish my little prayer session to the Harvester with a wish for good food tonight, which honestly felt a bit nostalgic because that's exactly what I used to do during group prayers at the Maxwell Church.

Asahi worked on putting the Death's Door away as I headed back to my tent. Initially, I'd thought I would have to share with Heero but it turned out that other-me had mandated separate tents whenever they traveled together so it just became part of the routine. It wasn't too bad, since I shared the space with Hilde and Coralina, so it just felt more like a sleepover - or what I assumed sleepovers felt like.

Entering the tent, I found both Hilde and Coralina unpacking. "If you want to bathe, Your Grace, you should do so first before dinner is ready," Hilde advised me, notably already gathering all of my bathing supplies together. I loved that she phrased it as a suggestion when it was really more of an order, it was very darling of her to at least pretend subservience.

I didn't have to be told twice. I knew Meilan was busy trying to kick her husband's ass in what was either a sparring session or foreplay, so she would probably just bathe with some of the other female knights later on.

...I know I'm gay and all, but these people were really chill with me being naked around women. But Hilde and the other maids have been helping me bathe for the past year, so I guess the point was moot now.

The small lake Heero had promised me was just that: a one-story waterfall-fed into the watering hole, large boulders scattered around covered in thick moss that served as decent tables for our things. There was a small section of cobbled stones that made it possible to wade into the wider part of the lake before it funneled away into a small river, but the current was slow-going and easy to wade through.

"I'm surprised you don't want to bathe with His Grace the Duke," Coralina tittered, setting out the bottles of shampoo and conditioner, as well as a thick bar of body soap. "Just imagine - he must be toned with muscle, and tanned from so much time in the sun…"

I yanked a thin bathing robe onto myself after quickly pulling off all of my clothes. "I think if I suggested it, Wufei would throw me under the wheels of the carriage for indecency," I told her dryly. Besides, I doubt Heero would be game for that; I can't imagine my thin, scarred body held a lot of appeal for the guy who would end up marrying a princess.

Ignoring the niggling feeling of irritation in the back of my mind, I submerged myself into the water with a relieved sigh. It felt soooo goooood….

I washed through my hair in record time. Even though it felt nice to finally get fully clean, I knew I shouldn't linger for too long. The water was still pretty cold, and we were a decent 15 minutes away from the camp; if we wanted to get back in time for dinner, I couldn't dawdle long.

Hilde was the first one done, given her shorter hair and her self-assigned duty of being our guard while bathing. She used a dry rag to towel herself dry, pulling on her clothes before beginning to pack up the rest of the bathing supplies.

Coralina and I, now fully clean, slowly waded out of the water and took a seat on a nearby boulder to dry. Coralina dried herself with another dry rag, but I got to use the soft towel apparently reserved for the nobility. I pulled on one of the more loose tunics of my wardrobe which was meant to serve as my nightwear for the trip, then started braiding my hair as Coralina went to work on gathering up our discarded clothes.

We were all refreshed and ready for a hot meal, a good night's rest, and another day of travel. Overall, it couldn't have been more than 30 minutes.

I heard it first, somehow.

Twigs snapped and creaked underneath heavy footfalls, harsh breaths audible a moment later despite the gentle waves of the lake breaking on the cobbled shore. It drew closer, the leaves of the nearby foliage shaking, and then Hilde was freezing in her tracks, head snapped to gaze into the darkness of the thick wood.

Coralina noticed our diverted attention and stiff postures, then turned in the direction we were looking just as the thick legs of a large black bear became visible in the waning light. It tread forward with curious, unfaltering steps, looking right at us and moving closer with every frozen second.

I was a city boy at heart. The most I knew about bears was what I learned in school: they're too fast to outrun, too strong to fight, play dead when you see one . But like all other wild animals, wasn't it a case of 'as long as you don't bother me, then I don't bother you'?

So why was it still coming closer?

"Hilde…" I whispered urgently. She was the closest to it, since both Coralina and I were back near the boulder.

Hilde did not look back at me, instead keeping a steady eye on the bear even as she spoke. "Please run when I tell you to move," she said, hands moving to her waist where the single dagger I'd gifted her all that time ago hung.

She was going to fight it with a dagger?! "Are you crazy? That thing is going to make mincemeat out of you if you try to attack it with that!" I hissed, taking a step closer.

The bear stopped in its tracks, then stood up on its hind legs with a loud huff of air. Even though Hilde was moving the most - setting the bathing supplies down, unsheathing her dagger - it was me the bear seemed to be looking at.

Coralina had a frightened grip on my arm. "W-We need t-to c-call for the D-Duke," she choked out in a barely audible breath.

"I'm not leaving without Hilde," I snapped back quietly.

"Yes you are," Hilde told me stonily. "I will distract the bear while you run to get help. You are much faster than both of us, Your Grace."

Now she was just straight-up lying. I might have an edge on a maid like Coralina, but Hilde was still a trained bodyguard and could dash through the woods as fast as an Olympic athlete.

Before I could refute that, the bear thundered back down onto all fours and charged. Coralina let out a long wail as the distance between us and over-500 lbs of fat and muscle shortened in what felt like a blink of the eye.

By the time I had yanked my arm out of Coralina's hold, Hilde was charging forward. "RUN!" she yelled back at us, dagger shining in the air as she caught the bear's attention - and then its rage.

I pushed Coralina in the direction of our camp. "Go! Go!" I commanded, blood pounding so loud in my ears that it was a miracle I could hear myself at all.

Coralina may have thought I was right behind her given our positions, my hand still on her back as she started running. I stopped after only a couple of steps before turning right back around, dashing back to where Hilde was moving around the bear in sharp movements, narrowly avoiding getting gutted by its clawed lunges.

I didn't have a weapon, and Hilde only had a dagger that worked for close-range combat with humans . If she was going to use it effectively, I needed to get her an opening - so I picked up the small bucket we'd used to transport our bathing supplies and threw it with as much strength as I could muster straight at the bear.

It hit one thick shoulder and shattered into wide splinters. The bear roared, taking one last swipe at Hilde before falling back onto all fours and turning in my direction.

Okay, fuck- fuck- fuck-

"Hilde, now! Now! " I yelled, picking up one of the glass bottles of shampoo and throwing it at the now-rampaging animal. It smacked it square in the face but that hardly slowed it down. Pebbles and stones flew up under its heavy steps as it rushed towards me, and I had just enough wits left to dash to the side in an attempt to get behind a boulder.

Hilde pounced, dagger flying forward and straight into the back of the bear's thick neck. It let out an ear-shattering roar, stumbling to a stop as Hilde pulled out her blade and stabbed it back in again.

It wasn't enough.

The bear let out another roar, rolling itself over in an effort to dislodge her; Hilde jumped off its back, dagger in hand, but the bear was quick to roll back up onto its haunches and lunge at her one more time; one heavy paw collided into her side and sent her flying back, the dagger falling from her slackened grasp as she hit the ground and did not get back up.

"HILDE!"

I was moving towards her - but so was the bear. I could see some blood on the back of its thick mane, the injury likely making it even angrier as it set its sights on Hilde. It had crushed the remaining bottles underfoot when it had come barreling towards me earlier, and I didn't want to break stride to pick up a rock just in case I didn't make it in time.

I needed something to distract it. My shouts weren't working, my lungs already burning from the adrenaline as it drew closer and closer to her- Please, not Hilde, not Hilde, nOt HiLDe-

With an earth-shattering shriek, a black blur shot down from the treetops.

It headed straight for the bear's head, and despite the erratic movements, I could make out the black feathers and outstretched talons as it scratched at the bear's face. The much larger animal let out a bellowing roar but the black bird did not stop in its assault, claws aimed for the large carnivore's eyes.

I didn't fully stop to watch, sliding to a stop beside Hilde. She was lying prone on her front, part of her face turned into the ground and the clothes covering her shoulder and part of her midsection were torn and wet with blood.

"Hilde," I breathed out, reaching for her. Her eyes were closed and she did not respond. I wanted to carry her but if there was internal damage, I risked worsening it by picking her up and jostling her around as I ran.

I didn't know what to do.

If only the bear wasn't here- if only the bear wasn't here-

The black bird shrieked again, talons tearing into flesh as it attacked and attacked.

But there was only so much a bird could do, and the bear only needed one lucky hit - and that soon came, sending the mass of feathers to the ground. The bear's attention was then back on me, snarling and huffing - but why? Why was it always so focused on me?

It didn't matter. What mattered was getting it away from Hilde, so I rose back to my feet, picking up Hilde's discarded dagger.

I wasn't proficient with weapons yet; I hadn't gotten to that part in Geralt's training program. And if Hilde couldn't beat this thing, then there wasn't much hope for me - but there was time . I'm not sure how much time had passed since Coralina had gone sprinting back to camp, but if I could just hold it off for a little longer… Just until Heero and the others came…

The bear roared - and I lunged forward. I was confident in my speed, but perhaps that had been my mistake - too much confidence, as if getting one over on the world's fluffiest knight was something to be proud of.

It was almost shameful how quick I was to fail, but I could not dwell on it as one bloody claw tore its way across my torso and the dagger was thrown right from my hand at the impact.

I felt my body land amongst the cobbled rocks and I rolled to a stop on my side, leaving a bloody smear against the ground. My face was tilted down so I could see most of my body, taking in the bloodied gash across my front, my clothes all but ruined and my insides nearly exposed.

The pain was excruciating.

Ah..?

I couldn't tear my eyes away from my bloodied front, to the exposed meat of my insides. That wasn't good, right...? It was almost like I could see my internal organs… And there wasn't modern medicine here either, so wasn't this really bad…?

Was I going to die…?

I didn't have the energy to move, didn't know where the bear was now. My eyes were locked on my wounds, on what I could see in them. It was almost...lumpy?

…?

Uh…?

I didn't really know how I managed it, but I moved my hand down to my exposed torso. My fingers were trembling, but I didn't care - I prodded the wound and knew it hurt, knew it from the way all of my nerves seemed to scream, but I still couldn't stop myself.

"He...y… wha...t...is…?"

I felt a little blood flow from the corner of my mouth as I breathed out the words, but that did not stop me either. Without hesitation, I dug my fingers into the open wound - and yanked .

A bloodied clump unfurled, landing on the rocks with a dim clink! Even soaked in blood and guts, I could make out the intricate filigree and the distinctive rows of small, dark pearls banded together.

Why…?

It was...inside of me? Inside? InSiDE?

WhY wAs iT inSiDE oF mE? WhAt Is iT? WHywaSItInSIDeoFmE? WhYwAsiTINSidEoFme? WhywaSITInsIDEOFMe? whywAsiTiNSIdEofMe? whywaSiTinSIdEOFmE? wHywASItiNSIDEoFme? WHyWaSITinSideOFme? WhYwAsiTINSiDEoFME? WHYWasITinsidEOFME? wHywAsitinSIDEOFME? wHyWasitiNsidEOfme? whYWaSITinSiDeOf-

A black talon came into view, curling onto a strand of pearls.

I followed it up with my eyes to one feathery leg and two fluttering black wings, but that's where the familiarity ended; the cavity of it's chest was mangled and broken, the hollow bones of its body visible and keeping its feathered limbs tethered. The head swiveled back and forth as if to look me over, but its eyes- its eyes were clouded over.

…Ahahaha... Am I dead…?

"Haha…" I tasted the blood in my throat.

Why did it hurt, but not hurt? Why was there blood, but nothing leaked out of me? WhY wAs tHaT inSiDE oF mE?

The black bird - dead, iT wAs dEaD - picked up one small pearl in its mouth, pulling the entire length of the necklace up as it hopped closer to me. Once it was within reach, it dropped it into my open hand.

I felt my fingers close around it.

The bird clicked at me, then let out a small, curious sound.

I sat up slowly, fingers still curled around the necklace. I tore my eyes away from the excitedly hopping bird, looking back down at myself; the blood was still soaked into the mangled remains of my clothes, but the deep gashes left by the bear's strike were...diminished. Still there, still stinging in pain, but no longer as deep or life-threatening - looking more like the result of barely-dodged swipe than the mutilation from before.

I looked up. The bear was still there, still looking at me. It was stood up on its hind legs and huffing, but no longer approaching me as doggedly as it had before. The black bird - or whatever it was - let out another piercing shriek, wings fanned out before it took flight. It didn't aim for the bear this time, instead sailing back past me and into the foliage.

I didn't have the energy in me to run - but it turned out I didn't need it.

Warm blood gushed out from a diagonal slice that cut the bear clean in half, the uppermost part sliding off as its great weight fell forward and sent a splatter of blood on to me. It drenched the wet stones beneath us, forming a warm lake that partially stained my already-bloodied palm cradling the necklace. I heard more than saw the blade being dropped to the ground, making that same metallic clinking! sound as the abomination in my hand.

"Duo!"

And then Heero was there in front of me, hands cradling my face, eyes scouring every exposed inch of me. I wonder if he took in the sight of my chest, thick with blood, and saw those now barely-there wounds… If he saw the way my fingers curled around the bloodstained accessory, seeking reassurance from something I could not explain.

"Sally!" I heard Heero call, keeping me at arm's length like he was afraid I would teeter over into the blood puddle. "He's injured! Bring the-"

I moved forward, winding my arms around Heero's waist to bury my face into the crook of his neck. "I'm okay," I told him softly.

The wounds stung, in the same way a scraped knee might; the cool metal in my hand was calming and cool; Heero's firm body was warm as he held me, steady and solid.

"I'm okay…"

"The injury is not life-threatening," was Sally's official diagnosis. She'd slathered the claw marks scraped across my chest with herbs before wrapping me in gauze, but given the state of them, it seemed an unnecessary precaution; they were nothing more than shallow wounds, hardly even bleeding more than a few drops and would likely scab over by the end of the night.

Of course, trying to explain that to anyone in the camp right now would hardly go over well.

"Sit. Back. Down," Meilan told me crossly. Seated beside her was Daigo, holding my bowl of stew and looking ready to feed it to me himself. Coralina was already passed out on her cot, the night's excitement having drained her completely and her energy utterly depleted after making that mad dash back to camp.

Hilde was half-asleep as well; her injuries were worse than mine - deeper gashes along her side, along with bruised ribs. Sally had said it was lucky nothing had been crushed or broken, given that she'd gone head-to-head with a bear, but Hilde would still be considered out-of-commission until she recovered fully.

To my annoyance, she didn't seem to much care about her own state; as soon as she regained consciousness, she was trying to check on me and then attempted to throw herself onto the ground in apology for me sustaining even light wounds. Quatre had been the one to wave her off; Heero was single-mindedly obsessed with making sure my injuries were being treated and couldn't be moved from my bedside.

Even now, he was standing beside me and giving the bowl of stew a contemplative look.

...he was going to try to feed me, wasn't he?

I made to sit up again, and though Meilan looked a second away from pushing me back down, Heero leaned forward to help me up. He added some more pillows behind my back that I could comfortably lean on, pulling my braid to the side so it wouldn't get caught behind my back.

"My arm's not broken, give it here," I sighed, reaching for the bowl.

Daigo relinquished it to me only after a moment's hesitation. I got to spend the next couple of minutes in studious silence while three pairs of eyes watched me carefully spoon food into my mouth, as if looking for even a vague sign of exertion.

"...can you guys relax? You heard the doc, I'm fine."

Meilan's eyes looked a little wild. "You were attacked by a bear."

A bear that Heero had cleaved right in half, which I thought was slightly more alarming. I knew he had the strength of the ten men, according to the book, but actually seeing it in action was something else. I don't think I felt very afraid, but there was certainly some kind of feeling churning in my gut at the thought that he'd sliced a fucking bear in half for me.

I finished my soup despite my captivated audience. Daigo was the first to leave, taking the dirty dish back with him, and Meilan soon followed after making sure that I had no plans to leave my tent or the now ultra-paranoid watch of my guards posted everywhere outside of said tent.

Hilde had followed Coralina into troubled slumber, essentially leaving myself and Heero alone. For his part, he wasn't necessarily smothering; aside from a few intense looks at the bandages wrapped around my chest and urgent commands issued to his soldiers, he hadn't said much of anything since we'd gotten back to camp.

The look in his eyes after Sally had stripped my mangled clothes off me earlier, though, had said more than his words ever could.

"I'm really okay," I told him.

Heero's hands curled into fists at his side. "...I know you think you are," he replied softly.

Well, okay - fair.

"...If you need me, I will be right outside," Heero continued, eyes moving from my chest up to my face. His fingers uncurled themselves slowly, only to tangle themselves in the end of my braid. "Just call for me."

Then, with a soft kiss to my hair, he stood and left.

I waited a breath, then two breaths, then four. After I was sure I wouldn't receive any more visitors, I threw aside the linen blanket covering me and stood from the bed. My knees weren't shaky and I felt as strong as I usually did, as if I hadn't just spent the past few hours in an adrenaline high.

I knew it was weird. I knew the things that happened by that lake were weird.

But still I…

I moved over to the table set up near my bed, where my friends had laid my things. I ignored the glass of water Quatre had given me, ignored the Death's Door Mifune had brought in for my comfort, ignored the assorted herbs Wufei had said could deal with pain if I needed them. Instead, I stopped in front of the pearl-laden necklace laid out atop a single drying cloth, freshly washed and clean of grime and gore.

I remembered wearing it. I remembered putting it on every morning at the estate, remembered none of the maids ever commenting that it may clash with my outfits, remembered how few compliments it received even though Heero and Quatre would always dole out some to me out of courtesy.

But I didn't remember having received it.

It wasn't there from the beginning; I couldn't remember seeing it among all of the accessories I kept from other-me's initial wardrobe. I didn't remember buying it from a vendor in the town market, didn't remember wearing it when I traveled the province, didn't remember seeing it among the number of Heero's many gifts to me.

I reached out, running one finger over the pearls, over the filigree. Even now, I wanted to put it back on, wanted to feel the comfort of the collar around my throat. The cool metal seemed to thrum under my delicate touch, and before I realized it, I was picking it up.

This wasn't normal.

But I had been attacked by 500+ lbs of carnivore, injuries clawed into my torso that healed over in the next breath; pulled out something that should not exist from where it had nestled near my internal organs; saw a creature that could not be considered alive except in the most technical aspects - nothing about what had happened was normal.

So why…

Why wasn't I scared?

My own hands were reaching to my throat, ready to clasp the black pearl choker back into its rightful place. I froze, shaken - where did it come from? WhY wAs iT inSiDE oF mE?

Creeeaak… I turned my hand at the sound.

The Death's Door had opened.

I could see nothing inside the cabinet, the interior darker than it should be even in the waning light of the lantern nearby. There was no sign of the amethyst gems laid inside, just the inky black of the shadows that did not permit any light to reach them.

IT'S oKAy. I'M oKAY.

I clasped the collar around my throat, and went to bed.

The small town of Gilbury was situated in the northwesternmost area of the Bernett province. According to Wufei, we were still about three weeks away from reaching the Capital, because the route planned by Heero had been lengthened since he was trying to spend less time camping outside - likely to accommodate me, despite my assurances I didn't mind.

I knew I was a city boy at heart, but I could camp too! Besides, they piled so much linen atop my camping bed that it was more luxurious than most town inns. I was hardly in want of anything. I had been worried about Hilde's comfort given her injuries, but a day after the attack she was already up and moving around, and seemed to think that my injuries were the real concern.

It didn't help that the others were of the same mind, following me around any time I was outside of the carriage or my tent. I couldn't even get a potty break without someone turning up, whether that be hiding in the trees or "just walking by." For a short moment I almost appreciated Trowa's aloofness, until I saw him telling Frederick to practice tree-climbing so that he had better vantage points.

The only saving grace in the short time to Gilbury had been Heero, who despite his occasional intense glare at the healing marks on my now-bandageless chest, hadn't much changed in his approach. He still spit out a romantic line or two when I saw him, but he didn't constantly ask if I needed a guard or try to spoon-feed me like I was some kind of invalid.

Because of this, I tended to follow him around instead. He allowed it without much change in expression, sometimes holding my hand as we wandered alone a little away from camp or recounting different stories of his previous trips to the Capital when I hid away in his tent.

I didn't tell him or anyone else about the raven or the necklace. No OnE coULd knOw aBoUT thEm.

In what felt like no time at all, we had finally made it to Gilbury. The town's inn had been rented out by the entirety of our traveling group, although given the limited number of rooms, we had to double- and triple-up. This meant that I was sharing a room with Heero, since we are for all intents and purposes married, although I did have to spend a fair amount of time convincing him that I'm fine with the arrangement and no, he did not have to bunk in Trowa and Quatre's room.

After we'd set our things down and the others started to do their usual wind-down, Heero escorted me out of the inn. At my look of distaste when he tried moving in the direction of the carriage, he suddenly changed course and instead mounted his horse, pulling me up to sit behind him on the saddle.

I didn't say anything as we began to trot down the town roads, blessedly unaccompanied by any of my usual fanatic guards and escorts. I wound my arms a little tighter around Heero's midsection, resting my head against his back with a little sigh of relief.

"Are you tired? We don't have to go if you'd like to rest," Heero suggested, pulling on his reins to slow our current pace.

I shook my head, smiling into his back. "No, I want to go!" I replied happily, feeling much more relaxed.

I loved my friends dearly, but they could be a bit suffocating sometimes. I knew their constant worry about me was due in part to me being the Duchess, but it was also part me just being generally important to them as a friend, so I didn't complain too much about it. That didn't make it any less wonderful just to get a small break from them, especially if I got to spend that time with Heero.

I wouldn't say Heero was any less worried about my safety, but he gave me a lot more leeway and freedom than the others. Even if the experiments I ran in my study tended to get a little explosive, he never tried to stop me; he just tried to mitigate the damage. He wasn't stifling, most of the time, although sometimes he would organize things so that I was cushioned against some imagined threat. Still, that was also expected… He was a Male Lead, and I was some fragile little dandy.

The flower meadow he'd told me about was not too far from town, about only 15 minutes on horseback; it was late enough in the day that no one else from the town was there any longer, leaving the area empty aside from us.

It was a field of wildflowers that grew with abandon, neatly kept within the wide meadow by the woods that bordered it. The flowers themselves were plentiful and striking, an assortment of colors that blanketed the green grass from where it grew; reds, yellows, blues and purples scattered as far as I could see. The summer air was slightly cooled in the late afternoon sun but the warm smell of the flowers was thick in the air.

Heero tied the horse to a nearby tree, then led me by the hand further into the meadow. I was wary of stepping on the flowers at first, but they grew thick and healthy in this meadow and our steps hardly seemed to have any effect on them. I tightened my grip on Heero's hand, finally looking up from my careful tread.

We came to a stop in the center of the meadow, in a green patch of grass that had clearly been made by the locals. There was a tree stump smoothed down into a makeshift stool, along with a few logs to rest on, but there was still a good bit of free space - perhaps meant for a picnic.

I turned my eyes back to the meadow, to this sight of a sea of flowers that was Heero's gift to me. It was not a scene I recognized from the novel - which meant this was just a flower field for me and not yet Relena. I knew it wasn't good that I felt happy about that, because I knew in the end, Heero would show Relena this same sight: a lush crop of multicolored flora, blooming and ambient in the setting sunlight.

For now, though, it was mine and mine alone.

"It's beautiful," I said reverently. I didn't ever really get sights like this back in New York City, not after the mess they'd made of Grand Central Park. The gardens of the Yuy estate were beautiful and splendid, but there was a stark difference between what was planted by men and what was given by nature. There was just something more compelling about it, knowing that the only design behind it had been life itself.

But… What do you do in a meadow?

We didn't bring any picnic supplies, so that was out. I could definitely just sit out here and relax, but night was coming sooner rather than later, and it's not like I brought a book or anything. The only other person here was Heero… Did he want to make flower crowns or something?

Well, if that's what Heero wanted - I would make him the best damn flower crown!

"It's nice to get away for a bit, isn't it?" Heero asked me, idle and curious.

I felt myself flush at the words. "...I was that obvious, huh?"

A corner of his lips twitched up, yet the smile never fully crossed his lips. "Not really, no - but I saw your face when Quatre attempted to follow you into the bathroom."

"Laugh it up, 'Ro, I'll send him after you soon enough," I grumbled half-heartedly.

Heero didn't laugh, instead ducking down to finger a purple flower. After a moment's consideration, he pulled it from the ground, snapping off the roots and cleaning the stem with one short motion.

He turned to face me, stepping closer, expression soft in the glow of the orange-streaked sky. "The others don't know about this spot, if that's any consolation," he told me, something almost teasing in his tone. "We can keep it between us."

Heero closed the short distance between us, and with almost agonizingly slow movements, reached up and tucked that single purple blossom behind my ear. In such close proximity, I couldn't help but look into his eyes: dark blue, ocean-strong and warm with sunlit currents, so intense and so beautiful that I could not look away.

Heero's mouth was slightly opened as if he meant to speak, but once his eyes met mine, it almost felt like an electric shock went through us and no words could emerge from his lips. His fingertips lingered at the side of my face, lightly brushing against the shell of my ear and cheek; the smell of the flowers had softened in the air between us because all I could smell was him, all I could see was Heero.

He was so close, and he only moved closer. There was less than a step between us, and before I was fully conscious of it, I had angled my head as my eyes focused on Heero's lips. My heart skipped a beat, then resumed a faster, harsher tempo as Heero's fingers traced the curves of my face with near reverence.

And then Heero's lips brushed over mine, soft and quick as if he dared not linger. The brief moment was enough to send a shock down my spine, to curl my toes as I hooked a hand around his waist on reflex. I didn't want him to move away but I didn't know what I wanted beyond that.

Not until Heero paused, looked into my eyes and brushed a thumb across my too-sensitive lips. Then he leaned in once again, no longer hesitant, no longer testing - his lips were soft and warm as they met mine, my eyes falling closed at the sensation of him against me. They parted slightly, and I felt a wet tickle as the tip of his tongue tasted the part between my lips before slipping in.

Warmth bloomed in my chest, along with a yearning so strong that I almost began to tremble. I fisted the back of Heero's shirt, wanting to pull him closer, felt the press of his chest against my own, warm and firm. His arm hooked around my waist, moved that impossible distance closer, his fingers leaving burning trails as they moved from my cheek to my nape, calloused fingertips sliding through the hairs on the back of my head.

My whole body tingled. My legs felt weak, almost as if they could barely hold me up any longer as the taste of Heero sunk deeper and deeper into me, but it hardly mattered because Heero was holding me up, holding me close. It felt as if we breathed as one, or as if we weren't breathing at all - at this point, I didn't much care, not as long as Heero kept kissing me.

And he did. Our lips hardly parted before they met again, and I could not tell if it was him kissing me or me kissing him. It didn't matter, as long as it didn't stop. His hands cradled my head like something precious, fingertips dragging pleasurably through my hair, freeing it from its braid and unmaking me.

...I was allowed to enjoy this for now, right? For this brief moment, Heero was all mine and I was all his.

Even if it was temporary-

Even if he wouldn't be mine for long-

Heero...

Heero...

...You and I are so fucked up, you know?

A/N: Duo, why are your chapters so much longer than Heero's! Why!

snowdragonct: Did yOU SAY YOU WANT A KISS?! :D

Anyway, sorry for the bear slander… Since I live in the desert, I don't really know if they'd just go and attack people like that (especially nowadays since most wild animals try to avoid humans), but hey, it's ~magic~

Oh, and in case this was a concern: there is no Heero-Duo-Hilde love triangle. I am very anti-love triangle. Even the triangle in this story (Duo-Heero-Relena) isn't even that much of a love triangle since it's just Duo imagining it 😂 If there is an official love triangle, it's probably Heero-Duo-Danger...

Please be kind and drop a review!