Richard watched as several tiny glistening raindrops on the window created dots of multicoloured rainbows on the window sill and walls of the bedroom. A gentle breeze caught his unkempt hair and tickled against his forehead. His feet had a chill about them, but began to tingle as they warmed up underneath the covers. He had felt a cramp in his leg, the back of his knee numb from lack of movement for the morning, so he'd cautiously risen out of bed and paced the room, wiggling his toes, stretching his legs, feeling sensation return to him. He'd taken the opportunity to push the window open. His ever cautious partner would have closed it if he knew, and then fondly lectured him about not getting himself too cold as he's still weak and healing. Thomas was at Downton this morning though, and would be until later, so Richard decided what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. It had been so long since he'd been outside properly though. He missed the feeling of the wind on his face, cooling his cheeks, the fragrant scent of pollen in the summer, the crunch of leaves under his feet. The chattering of jackdaws on the roof above was clearer now. They spoke as though they were a bunch of giggling children sharing a joke. A waft of petrol fumes blew up as a van rumbled past in the street below.
Lying still was necessary for his full recovery, he knew that, but he was bored. There was only so much reading he could do after all. He had been so busy before his injury and near death experience. Each day had been filled with purpose and now he longed to be reconnected with his work, even if it was stressful sometimes. Over the past few days he had been lying here, his hearing had become fine tuned with the sounds of the shop below. Today the bell above the door had rang a lot, which pleased him as it meant they were attracting a good trade. Chris had taken over with ease, and whilst he felt a pang of jealousy in his heart, he knew he was grateful for the fact that he had someone like Chris who knew enough to make the business run smoothly in his absence. He doubted his beloved book shop would survive otherwise.
Uneven careful footsteps on the floorboards outside his room disrupted his thoughts. "Coffee Richard?" Chris offered as he set down a small tray with two cups of steaming coffee, its homely scent drifting from the table towards him, though dispersed quicker than usual on account of the outside breeze.
"Thank you," he took the cup, appreciating the heat radiating through the palms of his hands. Perhaps Thomas was right about it being too cold for an open window?
"Do you mind if I join you for a bit?"
"No, not at all. From what I've heard it's been busy down there." He sipped the coffee carefully, licking his lips after.
Chris lowered himself steadily into the armchair near the window, landing with a bit of a thud as though both his legs were not supporting him. He put on a brave face, but this must have been one of his legs bad days, Richard reckoned. "I've had a good day, I mean, we have. It's your shop."
"No, you have. I miss it, but you're doing the hard work so you take the credit Chris." Richard paused, as he debated as to whether now was the best time to tell Chris about something he had been thinking over for several weeks now. He'd told no one, not even Thomas, cause he had to be sure this was the best thing to do. "Actually, since you are here, there's something I have been meaning to discuss with you about the business."
"Oh?" Chris put down his cup and swallowed as though preparing himself for something.
"Well, as you know I've had a lot of time on my hands recently, and therefore a decent amount of time to think about things, the shop in particular and how we do things. You are wonderful at your work and I take you for granted, but I think you have outgrown your position as my employee—"
"Richard I...What are you—?" Chris had gone rather pale.
"I'm saying you shouldn't be working for me anymore—"
"Are you...Richard, are you firing me?" The disbelief in Chris's voice was clear, as was the betrayal.
"No! God no! Sorry, I'll get to the point. What I mean when I say that you shouldn't be working for me Chris is true, but instead I want you to work with me." Chris stared at him blank. "I'll spell it out Chris. I'm changing things here, with your consent. I'm offering you fifty percent of the business."
"You what?"
"Half and half of everything, apart from the building itself, but the business we share as business partners. We basically do this already anyway so it needn't change the day to day running of things." Richard's heart gladdened as he saw the frown on Chris's face being slowly replaced with a disbelieving smile, and then a grin as the news of the offer sunk in.
"You're serious? Cause if this is your medication talking then I'll be very disappointed!" Chris joked as he laughed in his shock.
"It's not and I am. Of course you don't have to decide now. I'm not going anywhere for a while yet and even after that there's no rush."
Chris shook his head quickly. "No, I don't need time. Like it was when you offered me this job last year, I'd be a fool to refuse! But as long as you're sure Richard?"
"I am," he answered firmly. "I haven't told anyone about this yet, not even Thomas."
"Well I accept Richard! Gladly! You'll tell Thomas soon though?"
"I'll tell him when he gets home. I didn't want to say anything until I was sure this would happen."
"Can I ask why now though?"
Richard frowned as memories from a month ago flooded to the surface, and of his words to Thomas in the woods. "When I lay in the woods in Thomas's arms thinking those moments were going to be my last, I decided a couple of things. I told Thomas about them, but he never had to act on them. Firstly, I asked him to look after my parents for me." The crease in Chris's forehead between his eyebrows had returned. "But I also told him that I would give the shop, the business to you as I wanted it to go to someone who cared about it as much as I do." Chris's mouth opened as though to say something, but shut again. "Of course that was not needed, but it gave me the idea. I do take you for granted, and you have held the fort so to speak, more times than I could ask and without complaint. You also keep the numbers on the straight and narrow and I think, I would have failed in this venture not too long after it had begun if I hadn't hired you."
"Careful Richard, if you praise me any further then I may feel as though my defenses would break! But seriously, it is I who owe you. I think I would be done for without your offer you made in good faith last year. But despite our differences back then, we've made a good team since haven't we?"
"We have," Richard agreed sincerely. His rapidly beating heart and clammy hands earlier had calmed, and he felt himself relax. Chris looked out the window and chuckled to himself. "What?"
"Well, I suppose we'd better see about finding someone to change the sign above the door. 'Webster and Ellis'— I like the sound of that," he suggested with a playful grin.
"Um, no. 'Ellis and Webster' I think Chris. It was mine to begin with afterall!"
Chris shrugged his shoulders grinning. "Yeah, seems fair. I think I could live with that."
…
The scent of lavender hung in the air after Richard's mother left his bedroom on a mission to seek out tea and biscuits for them all. Richard had been surprised by the arrival of his parents in the afternoon when the brief window of sunshine closed, and a light but persistent rain settled in for the afternoon. His mother had been busy fussing over him, making sure he was comfortable, tucking him in like she did when he was a boy, under the red duvet Larry had given Thomas for his birthday, despite his insistence that he was comfortable just sitting on the bed instead of lying within it. She had opened the window saying that fresh air would do him good, but had closed it not long later after the rain started to drizzle its way inside. His father, who always had been the more laid back of the two, sat in the chair near the window, watching his wife's motherly fussing with loving amusement, which Richard found himself sharing. He knew he was lucky, not many people like him had parents who still loved them and wanted to know them. Thomas did not and it pained Richard to know that if this situation had resulted in Thomas being the injured party, then his parents wouldn't have lifted a finger.
"She's been itching to visit you sooner," Richard's father John began as he stretched his arms up behind his head. "I told her that you and Thomas needed a bit of time to be with each other and that you were in good hands, but she was impatient. We would have contacted you beforehand otherwise instead of dropping by unannounced. Thomas could have been here otherwise I bet?"
"Possibly. He's been given leave to split his time between looking after me and working at Downton. I think he's been finding it hard to know where he should be, as though his loyalties are split?"
John nodded. "Hmm, yes I understand. He wants to be here for you, but at the same time he doesn't want to be the captain who abandons his ship?"
Richard grinned at the analogy. "Yeah something like that. But if you ask Chris to telephone Downton, you can tell him you're here?"
"I will do that, unless your mother has beaten us and Chris to it and called Thomas herself!" John laughed as Richard joined him.
As their laughter subsided another wrinkle in his aged father's forehead accompanied by an unknown thought on his lips, appeared. "What is it dad?" Richard asked with concern.
"Oh nothing really, only that your mother and I haven't come any closer to discovering the secret donor who paid for the hospital bills. The hospital won't tell us anything, their lips are well and truly sealed. You are sure that it has nothing to do with Downton?"
"We are. Thomas and I have discussed this and we can be sure that no one at Downton was behind this. Lady Mary, and her son George, came to visit me here the day before yesterday. She had the same query as she had contacted the hospital with the intention of settling the bill, but was surprised to find someone else had beaten her to it."
"But you both have a theory?"
Richard hesitated before nodding in confirmation. "We do. You remember Larry? I mean I know you never met him but I've spoken of him."
"Lord Ferroland? The one who gave you and Thomas that holiday? The one with the fantastic taste in cars?"
Richard chuckled fondly, "Yeah that one."
"You think he did this for you?"
"Pretty certain it was him. I don't know anyone else well enough who has the money to give away like that and he likes to be anonymous with his generosity. I expect he will come to see me sooner or later and then I can ask him."
"He doesn't ask for anything in return?" The suggestion in John's voice was clear enough for Richard not to have to ask what he was suggesting.
"What? No! No, we're not like that anyone. He's got a... he's got a fellow anyway. I know you and mum didn't like me seeing him, and I know why, but he was never like that and anyway, he's grown up more since then." Richard, paused his valiant defense of his friend and former lover upon seeing his father's understanding. "He likes Thomas though, fancies him rotten, but it's all in good fun. Thomas pretends to not like having another admirer, but secretly I know he does!"
"Who's Thomas's secret admirer Richie?" his mother, Marion, asked upon placing a tray on the top of the chest of draws, neither he nor his father noticed her come in since they were so deep in conversation.
"Well not really—"
"Lord Ferroland my dear, or Larry to our son," John answered for him.
Marion slowly nodded in understanding. "He's still around then?"
John smirked, "Not left this world yet!"
"Dad!" Richard playfully scolded him, at his father's poke at potential misunderstanding at his mother's question."
Marion rolled her eyes and sat on the end of the bed. "You know I didn't mean that you silly fool!"
"He's still in contact with me, yes mum. I expect he'll be here sometime to see me. I was only saying to dad that he never fails to hide the fact that he fancies Thomas and that Thomas pretends to hate it."
"Ah I see! Well, it's nice to be made to feel admired every now and then, as long as you don't let it go to your head."
"True. But we also may have an answer to the question about who made that donation and payment," John added.
"Larry did?" Marion guessed.
"I think so mum. Like I said to dad, I'll ask him when he visits. I hope though that he doesn't just show up as then I can't be sure Thomas would be here and not stuck at Downton."
"Well as long as he doesn't show up today then that will be fine. It will become a bit crowded here with at least six of us. Oh and I called Downton and spoke to Thomas earlier whilst the kettle was boiling Richie, he'll be able to get away later so we'll stay until then won't we John?" Marion told her husband.
"Yes dear, of course," John obeyed as Richard smirked at his parents. His mother was in charge in their relationship, that fact he was sure of.
"Wait, why do you say six mum? Thomas can't come here yet and anyway who are the other two?" Richard didn't know of any other visitors arriving today and he was sure that Chris would have told him if any letters or telegrams came.
"John, didn't you tell him? Izzie and Lucy are in Downton now Richard. They will be here any moment. They came to see us, which was lovely as we haven't seen them for a long time. Since we told them that we were coming to see you today they offered to postpone their visit and see you tomorrow instead. We thought they may as well come along as well today, since they had made such a long journey from London. They are hanging back to give us some time, although Izzie also said that she had a few errands to run before coming to see you."
"Seems like none of your family can call in advance Richard," John joked.
"Nah, it's fine. I've been looking forward to seeing them both again." It occured to Richard that his father had referred to Izzie and Lucy as his family and whilst they were not related by blood, Izzie in particular was as close to a sister as he would ever get. She was headstrong, and outspoken, a little stubborn sometimes, but he loved her ability to live as much as she could in her life, even though it had not always been easy. He was also sure that Lucy would be thrilled to hear about Chris and his new beau David, as he had gotten the impression the last time she was here that Chris and her had formed a bond. He was sure, if the opportunity arose, that Chris would jump at the chance to introduce David in a manner where he could be truthful about their connection. "There's something I haven't told you both."
"Oh?" Marion asked.
Richard's heart jumped with a healthy mixture of nerves and excitement as he began to share the most recent development in the business. "I'm making a few changes around here when I'm recovered. Chris and I have reached a new arrangement for the shop."
...
It was a bizarre sight for Thomas to witness as he pushed the ajar bedroom door fully open to see Richard and his usually private and tranquil domain alive with the friendly conversation and laughter from Richard's family and friends. He had been surprised by the telephone call from Marion and had wasted no time seeing to it that he could get away from Downton as soon as he could so he wouldn't miss their visit, even though she had insisted that they would wait for him. Richard noticed him first, and his smile warmed Thomas's heart as it always did when they met each other in the eye. Their little bedroom seemed even smaller now, six people as well as Wilde who was making the most of the situation, simultaneously receiving tickles on his back and neck from Richard, who rested cross legged up on the bed, and his friend Izzie who sat on the other side of the bed. If Wilde had noticed Thomas's arrival, he did not show it, and continued to close his eyes and purr rhythmically whilst gently kneading his front paws into the duvet.
"Well I think he will be very happy in his new position," Izzie said, Thomas only catching a snippet of the conversation. "Oh hello Thomas! We were wondering when you would be allowed to leave!" She stood up and sat on the end of the bed next to her girlfriend Lucy, who sat opposite Marion and John. John occupied the armchair and Marion was on another chair that Thomas recognised from the hardly used spare bedroom. "You sit next to him."
"Thank you," he loosened his tie and took off his butler's jacket before sliding over on the luxuriously soft duvet to Richard. "Hello."
Richard blinked as his tender smile touched Thomas's heart. "Hello," he replied before a light kiss traced Thomas's left cheek. For a moment, it was as though no one else was here. Their little world, uninterrupted.
"Who are you talking about?" He asked, settling down so Richard's arm and shoulder rested against his, the outside chill he brought inside with him, being thawed by Richard's warmth.
"Mr Webster," Lucy answered. "Richard, you better explain."
"Chris is no longer going to be employed by me—"
"He's leaving?"
"No, course not. You know him, he loves it here, but anyway, no we've just reached a different arrangement for the business. I offered him half of the business and asked him to work with me, not for me, as business partners if you like. He accepted."
Thomas had felt a tell tale sign of dread in his stomach as Richard had begun to explain, the pang of something that he didn't quite understand within him. It was the same feeling he had when Chris had kissed him last year and he had, for a tiny moment, kissed him back. Maybe it was a flicker of something that could have been, in another life, but never happened? He didn't know. All he knew was the thought of Chris not being around brought him more sadness than he expected it would. Therefore, the relief that he had assumed wrong, had been even greater. "Wow! How long have you been considering this? I mean, I'm glad for him. He deserves some sort of promotion."
"I've been thinking about it for a while. I didn't want to tell you Thomas, or anyone until I was sure and only if he accepted. I should have told you I know."
"It's your shop, not mine, I just love the owner." This remark did the trick at removing the frown of concern Richard wore, as his face lightened and Thomas found himself captured by his lips and the tiny little crease on the edges of his mouth as he smiled. The moment of forgetting friendly faces watching their intimate moment, returned. In the end the spell was broken not by any of their visitors, but by a strange noise that Thomas could only describe as a mixture of a meow and a squeak. Wilde stretched and yawned and the cat's yawn made everyone giggle, although Wilde remained unphased by the reaction.
Richard reached for the table next to the bed, and rustled his hand around in a small brown paper bag that sat open next to an empty tea cup. "What's that?" Thomas asked as Richard popped something into his mouth, chewing and then licking his lips after. "Oh, is that fudge?"
"Remember the note in the flowers when you came to see me in the hospital?" Richard asked.
"Oh, you got him these!" Thomas recalled.
"Hmm, yes I did. It was why we were a little late in arriving earlier." Izzie grinned, looking pleased with herself. "I don't make promises I can't keep so we had to make a detour to Downton's confectionery shop. Lovely little place, reminds me of the one we used to visit as children, Richard, although I got the feeling that the woman behind the counter thought it was strange that I brought so much. I imagine her customers are usually a lot younger than me."
Lucy pulled out another paper bag from her handbag. "I couldn't resist. I haven't had pear drops in years, and you had to get the same as Richard along with those rhubarb and custard sweets that I cannot stand."
Thomas leaned across Richard and snatched one of the soft light brown squares of fudge out of the bag, and popped it into his mouth before anyone could protest. "Mmm," he moaned as the creamy sugary sweetness melted in his mouth and coated his tongue and teeth as he savored the flavor.
"Hey!" Richard exclaimed. "Those are mine."
"You don't mind too much do you?" Thomas pleaded with mock innocence so Richard couldn't resist him.
"No, suppose not."
"Dad, you have one too." Thomas noticed how John had been eyeing the bag like how a cat eyes up a bird.
"Oh, thank you."
"Mum?"
"There yours Richard."
"You like them though?"
Marion grinned, "Well I suppose just this once."
"Now I know they say fruit and vegetables are the best things for aiding a person's recovery but these taste nicer," Richard joked. He licked his fingers that had become sticky with sugar from various sweet offerings.
"They do, but these are good for the mind I think," Izzie smirked. "I should have found a way to smuggle them into the hospital after all!"
"Well we smuggled Thomas in! Sweets couldn't have been that hard?" John asked.
"Don't underestimate the nurses abilities of discovery my dear," Marion said as they chuckled.
...
Chris picked up a pile of papers off the desk in the office as he heard the loud laugh of Richard's friend Izzie upstairs. The papers were all muddled in the careless pile they have been placed in, corners poking out unevenly at angles. With a quick wack on the table though, they fell into place as he pushed them into a draw. Each page was blank, uncrumpled and smooth as new writing paper should be, although in his hurry to reach other more important documents at the bottom of the drawer earlier, they had fallen out of their neat arrangement they had been bought in. The scent of fresh writing paper hung in the air around him as he pushed the draw shut and locked it with a satisfying click, just as he heard the side door squeak a little as it closed quietly. His smile effortlessly grew on his face, it was already present with the offer he had accepted from Richard earlier in the morning, but his heart jumped a little with a profound and unique sense of excitement that he only got when David was around him. He stepped out into the kitchen, shutting the office door behind him. David was leaning against the doorframe with effortless charm, although Chris couldn't help but chuckle to himself as he thought about how the potential look of Hollywood glamor was ruined a bit by his chaotic mind-of-its-own hair and crumpled shirt that told the story of a man who had been working outside all day. But he didn't want the stylishness of a Hollywood actor, he only wanted him.
"I thought I'd surprise you, tried to sneak into the shop but you'd already locked the door." David's words felt soft on Chris's ears as he spoke with the intention of not being overheard. David glanced up as another laugh came from upstairs. "Richard has visitors I see?"
"His parents, and his friend Izzie and her partner Lucy. It sounds like a bit of a crowd up there!"
"You've not been up there then?"
"No," Chris answered with a slight shake of his head. "I thought I'd leave them too it. I had things to be getting on with down here anyway. Today has been quite a day!"
David pushed himself away from the doorframe, straightening his clothes out as best he could as he sauntered over. "I thought you looked happy, sounded it too. I heard you whistling earlier as I came in. Never heard that before, I like it."
He rubbed his forehead with his hand as he prepared the best way to tell David his news, and to let it sink in that this wasn't all some sort of fanciful dream. "Richard gave me an offer this morning, one that I couldn't refuse if I had any sense. He told me...well, to cut a long story short, he offered me a fifty, fifty partnership in the shop, me and him working alongside each other as business partners!"
David's eyes widened in shock, with a pleasing smile following shortly after. "Really? Wow! I take it you accepted?"
"Yeah, course I did!" He laughed with his own shock of it all, only telling someone else did it now seem real. "I confess at first when Richard told me he thought I had outgrown my position here as his employee I thought he was going to fire me, but my mind was in a whirl, I wasn't thinking straight."
"Well he would never dream of losing you Chris, you are brilliant!" Before he knew it David had pulled him into a tight embrace and was kissing him enough to leave him breathless. "I'm so proud of you," David whispered into his ear as he kissed a sweet spot on his neck that made Chris shut his eyes. "Come to my place tonight?" David's voice husky on his neck.
Chris had to stop his words from running away from him. Every fiber of his being wanted to say yes, but his mind caused him to think on that, to hesitate. He knew they had to be careful, he knew that recently he had been less so, taking more risks, and too many liberties. He knew the cost of growing over confident. He had once thought that after such a long run of good luck, that nothing would ever touch him. He had learned the hard way that he was wrong. "I'd love to but...Mr Tomlinson's farm is busier than it seems. I could be seen."
"Not if you come with me soon. It will be getting dark and we could cut across the countryside to avoid the road. Most of the laborers will be heading to the pub now anyway. And in the morning..." David ran a finger over the back of his neck, gently tickling him and sending a pleasant shiver down through his back. "...I hope you will stay that long, but in the morning I can get you out without raising suspicion, with Matthew's help. But I'll let you say no."
"I'll come with you. I'll stay here a little longer, will you come back in an hour? That will be better I think?"
"We'll do that."
Chris linked his hands around David's back and surrendered himself to his love. David's kiss beckoned him in, and the turmoil of instinctive fear in his mind subsided as they kissed with repeated passion. He tasted something sweet on David's lips, jam maybe? Or honey? He noticed only now that his shirt was ever so lightly damp under his fingers, and as they brushed against each other a waft of fresh grass filled his senses. David smelt and felt like the countryside and it was more intoxicating than any drug or drink.
The click of a woman's gentle footsteps on the stairs, forced them to part and David stepped a reasonable distance back. Chris knew though that there was no one in this building who was a danger to them both, but a lifetime of habit of watching and listening for the tell tale sound of anyone else was a hard one to break. "Hello Chris, I thought I would come and see you before you left. You're not still working are you?"
"No, I've just finished. Lucy, it's lovely to see you. I would have come upstairs to say hello but you all sounded very..."
"Loud?" Lucy laughed heartily.
"Yeah something like that."
"Well I thought I'd say hello anyway, but I see you have company?"
"Um yes. This is David Mortimer, a er...friend of mine. David this is Lucy Fisher," Chris introduced.
"Pleasure to meet you Miss Fisher," David said, shaking her hand.
"The pleasure is mine, Mr Mortimer," Lucy greeted him politely. "I don't remember seeing you last time I visited Downton, back in the summer?"
"No, I'm relatively new here, Miss Fisher. Only arrived a couple of months back. Chris, I mean, Mr Webster has been a great person to make me feel at home here."
Lucy nodded, and Chris saw her looking at them both as though she was trying to read them. He suddenly felt a peculiar feeling. He found himself with the itching desire to tell the truth about who David really was to him, not just to feed another lie that came easier. "So how are you Chris?" She pushed a lock of blond hair that had come loose from its neat and fashionable arrangement, behind her ear.
His stomach fluttered and his mouth dried up as he battled with himself inwardly, as he tried to decide what to tell her. This was his chance. He longed to introduce David to someone in the real way. "I'm doing a lot better Lucy, and I'll never forget your kind words the last time we spoke. You told me that someone is out there for me who will love me back." His words came out in one nervous breath and he felt David watching him closely, he dared not look at him though for the fear he would lose his nerve. Lucy waited patiently for him and Chris considered the fact that she may have already put two and two together and reached the correct answer. "David, he's, he's my..." He felt David's rough hand, worn from years of manual work, touch his fingers before taking them in his own. He never needed to say anything, David knew what he wanted as though they shared each other's thoughts.
"Oh my! Well that is wonderful! I knew you would Chris, I did." Chris's hand was then abandoned but only because Lucy had taken it upon herself to give him a hug, and a small kiss on the cheek. That was a first for him— except for his mother, he'd never been kissed by a woman before.
"I should have known! Well maybe I did, but I'm glad I'm right."
"I'll let you two catch up," David said. "I'll come back in an hour or so then?"
"Yeah, I'll be waiting." Chris, seeing he had a little streak of luck on the go now, decided to take advantage, so he kissed David with as much passion as he dared, before letting a rather dazed David leave. "Right," he said to himself as he tried to calm his breathing after the side door closed in the hallway outside the kitchen. "I'm sorry Lucy, I'm not usually so brazen with my er..."
"It's fine. I mean what I said. I think he suits you, he brings out your smile. He's rather handsome too, in a ragged sort of way. Where does he work?"
He felt the blush on his cheeks and didn't need a mirror to confirm it was there. "On a farm nearby."
"Oh, a farmer! If I liked men as I like Izzie then I would think looking for a man from the countryside!" Lucy giggled as he gawked at her forwardness.
"I'm letting the farm laborers who work there during the day have time to leave, but then I'm going back with him. The farmer who owns the farm, Mr Tomlinson, he's sympathetic to us. He's made it clear that he welcomes us. I've had a good deal of luck, and I'm not going to do anything silly to risk it, since I now have enough to lose, so that's why he left and is coming back later. The farm workers will all be in the pub by then you see."
"That is good for you and I understand where you're coming from. We have to do what we must." She paused, "You love him then?"
"What?" He searched her face. But it was no trick, no way of forcing a confession. Her tone was genuine, and it would take a little more time to get used too. "Yes," he smiled as his heart was gladdened with his ability to finally say it out loud. "Yes I do love him."