Welp, here is the next chapter. I know. Two chapters in a day! What an accomplishment! Well, for me that is.
We're finally here!
This is probably the longest chapter I've written for this fic. I had originally planned to include this in the previous chapter, but I had to cut it into two parts because the previous chapter would be too long and probably bore you out of your mind. So here it is.
Momiji pulled his trusty A8 to a stop in front of Tohru's apartment complex, feeling self-conscious and nervous. He was acting silly, he was quite aware of that, but how could one calm down when he was going out with the girl he's loved since forever? Strictly speaking, it was a recital they were going to, though Tohru did agree to be his date.
Not to mention, he had something very important to tell her, and as he recalled correctly, she did mention she had something to tell him too. That would make anyone as nervous as he is now.
Get a grip, Momiji. He scolded himself, inhaling a deep breath and exhaling it. You're a man now. Stop acting like a kid and get in there as you should.
When he was satisfied with his self-pep-talk, he climbed out of his car and proceeded to Tohru's unit to wait for her as any gentleman should do. He squared his shoulders and walked to the entrance of her apartment, greeting the landlady – who Tohru had introduced to him when he had first taken her home the day after they had the welcome home party / reunion in the Sohma estate – with a smile and a nod, not seeing her nodding approvingly at his back as he passed by. He climbed the stairs and took another deep breath and released it once he reached her unit, pausing to give himself time to prepare before raising his hand, knocking three times precisely.
The doorknob jiggled, and then the door opened, surprising him when he saw three girls standing on the opposite side. Tohru's two best friends stood on either side with Mine in between them. Mine was smiling, but Uo and Hana wore identical, serious expressions.
"Welcome, Momiji-chan!" Mine greeted, pointedly ignoring the other two girls' seriousness beside her. "Tohru-chan is all ready!"
"Thank you for helping her out, Mine-chan." He responded graciously, understanding the reason why all three of them happened to be there. His eyes remained on her two best friends, shifting his gaze to either of them beside her. "Konbanwa, Uotani-san. Hanajima-san." He greeted, inclining his head.
"Konbanwa." They both responded with varying tones – Hana's sounded a bit lighter than Uo's. Still, he didn't let his gaze stray from theirs. He knew how fiercely protective the two can be over Tohru, and coupled with what had happened with Kyo, he couldn't blame them one bit for probably being more cautious than ever.
He fixed his gaze on them, unwilling to be cowed. He was serious about Tohru, and he'd be damned if he chickens out because he was too scared of her best friends. He was no longer the 'little Sohma' everyone had nicknamed with; he was an adult who makes decisions for himself and will fight for what he wants. "I'm here to take her with me to the recital and to tell her something very important." Momiji said, straightening himself. "If you'd let me."
It was a quiet, tense silence for a few minutes, which was only broken when Uo sighed and Hana's lips broke into a small smile. "Well, she's here. Tohru!" Uo called out, and they heard something drop to the floor and a small squeak just a few meters from behind the wall which were the girls. Uo smiled at the classic sound of clumsiness from the brunette. "Do look after her properly… Momiji."
"Or we'll come after you." Hana added, the small smile she had on earlier disappearing. "Sohma Kyo has an unpaid debt which will be completed in a few months' time."
Momiji didn't miss the implications behind Hana's words, sharp as he was. In a few months' time? There was a spinning propeller somewhere inside his head churning out said implications. Does that mean…?
To an outsider who may be listening in, this should probably be no cause of concern. It was after all, a half-joking threat… (which, if he thought about it more, meant that it was also half-serious) but Hana's waves are not something to be underestimated. Hana's reputation was such that even the freshmen who were practically new to their school had heard of her and wanted to ask for her advice, only held back because she was too scary. She seemed able to tell what will happen next… scarily correct whenever it happened every single time.
Much as he wanted to ask what it meant, he knew now wasn't the time to turn into a detective. He had a lady to escort who should not be kept waiting. "She will be well taken care of." He told the two simply, hoping the sincerity behind his words will be conveyed.
So saying, the three girls parted off to the side (he couldn't help remembering when he first arrived in the airport weeks ago) finally revealing Tohru… and… there she was.
Simply put, she is a vision. Mine had been right to hide the dress from him, and he bit his lip to keep his jaw from falling open as he sucked in a sharp breath.
Tohru is in a wine-red knee-length lace dress, a ribbon adoring her waist, a top braid adorning the crown of her head while the remaining sections of her hair were hung loose with curls at the ends. She looked every bit a goddess more than a princess, and he couldn't help being thankful that she had agreed to go out with him this evening.
Mine, who was standing beside him, elbowed him that surprised him more than hurt him. He cleared his throat which had gone dry all of a sudden. Before he can get a word out though, she began to giggle.
"Sorry. It's just that…" she trailed off, still giggling quite adorably, might he add, "We match, Momiji-kun."
He looked down at himself, realizing that his dress shirt underneath his blazer happened to be of the exact same shade of the wine red dress that Tohru wore. Not to mention, the black wrap which Tohru had around her matched his blazer as well. He mentally face-palmed, not sure if he should be thanking Ayame and Mine for the thoughtful touch, because this screamed MATCH MAKING to him in big, fat bold letters. It was endearing and embarrassing at the same time, knowing that Ayame and Mine had probably wanted to show support, and embarrassing because well… could they be any more obvious?
Guess I can't really go for the soft, subtle route now, can I? In spite of the embarrassment, he couldn't help but find the humor in this situation. The reason he had stopped himself from claiming her lips for the first time ever two nights ago, in spite of the moment seemingly being perfect for it, was because he didn't want to move too fast. Tohru was just getting used to his presence back in her life. Well, both of them are getting used to each other's presence. Granted, they have seen much of each other over the past few days and though she has been very willing to be with him, even accepting his out of nowhere requests to be out with her, he didn't want to shock her. After everything she had experienced, he just wanted to let her know how much she was loved, how special she is and how she meant the world to him before having their first kiss… if she accepts his feelings. Hopefully.
"Don't we?" He chuckled playfully, forcing himself to return to reality before turning more serious. Ignoring their audience (who had moved back a bit as Tohru had stepped forward,) he gave a gentleman's bow, looking up at her. "Thank you for giving me the honor of escorting you tonight. I will be very proud to have you on my arm this evening, Princess."
Tohru blushed prettily, giving her hand to his outstretched one and he straightened up, regretfully declaring to the three other girls that they need to get going. He didn't miss Uo and Hana's nod as Mine waved to them, telling them to have a good evening together – and somehow, that was a huge relief. At least he didn't have to worry about getting electrocuted or receiving a punch on the face in the meantime.
They made their way quietly towards his A8, but the silence is comfortable. He led Tohru with a normal pace, noting, with slight surprise, that she had worn heels (for as long as he had known her, she had never worn heels. It was part of her practical personality and her charm to be honest,) and he didn't want her feet to hurt fast because of it. He felt touched and incredibly humbled with the effort she decided to place on her appearance for tonight, and he would make sure that she knows that he appreciate it.
"You look beautiful, Tohru."
He was rewarded with a rosy blush blooming on her cheeks. "T-Thank you, Momiji-kun. You look very handsome too."
He tugged at her hand for a bit as he stopped walking, feeling that she was too stiff around him for his liking. Tohru was confused as to why he did so, and turned back to look at him. "I forgot the most important thing." He said.
"Eh? Ah – haha Momiji-kun!"
He tugged once more at her hand, causing her to fall into his arms and his embrace. She was giggling madly but eventually quietened down as their arms went around each other once more, both sighing in satisfaction as they did so.
He didn't understand what exactly was it with Tohru, but this was an embrace which was always special for them. It was their hug. The feeling was like coming home after a long day of exhaustion to relaxation and peace. He had always craved for their hugs when he was still in Paris, and now that he was back, he was going to get it. He just didn't know if Tohru felt the same way.
"Sometimes I think you're a little crazy, Momiji." She said, voice muffled against his chest, though he understood each word clearly. She sounded as if she was smiling.
"Being a Sohma and growing up with crazy cousins technically guarantees that, Princess." He retorted playfully as their arms loosened from around each other's, though they were still touching. "I've missed you."
"And I, you." Tohru whispered, blushing as she looked down, embarrassed to meet his gaze.
It was very easy to misunderstand both of them. To a casual observer, it was very easy to mistake them as a young couple very much in love, ones who had not seen each other for a long time. Haru used to joke that all they need would be the official label of boyfriend/girlfriend with how couple-like they were towards each other, something Yuki had worried would cause trouble to Tohru, since Momiji had begun having admirers already at the time. It would be a huge misunderstanding which could lead to fangirls bullying Tohru, something he was quite thankful had not happened, though it was because she and Kyo had started dating then.
At the time, he had remembered wishing for the misunderstanding to become real, no matter how impossible it was at the time.
Which is why he knew he had to tread carefully now. Tohru had always been sweet to him, even before she had started dating someone else. He could only hope for her to return his feelings, and telling her what he felt meant that he would be risking their friendship – in all likelihood ruining it if she didn't feel the same way for him. In spite of that huge risk, he wanted to take the chance. He was no coward; he would rather be hurt and rejected than spend the entirety of his life wondering if she could actually love him the same way she had loved Kyo.
He smiled at her, before gently leading her forward once more. "That's a relief. I don't want you to get sick of me yet."
"Of course not." She hugged his arm briefly, before letting go as he opened the car door for her. Once she was settled in, he went over to his side, buckled himself in as he winked at her, and they were off.
Soon they were able to arrive in Kaibara High. Tohru couldn't help but feel nostalgic as she and Momiji joined the throng of people headed to what they both assumed would be the concert hall of the school, something which had been recently built, if memory served her right. Having Sohma Momiji as an alumnus of the school meant that they had produced a world-class violinist, plucking the school from obscurity and suddenly giving Kaibara the reputation of being a music school. She remembered Kisa telling her how their former teacher Shiraki Mayuko – now Sohma Mayuko – was complaining to Hatori that they had kept receiving calls from students who wanted to apply to their school to be taught music, something that made the school realize that they would have to improve their facilities and find more teachers concentrated to music if they were to cater to these students.
Thanks to a certain family's donation, the school was able to improve over time and has even built a concert hall for their music festivals.
Momiji whistled beside her as the said concert hall came into view. "Well. For a normal high school which had suddenly transformed to a music school just a few years ago, this concert hall is beautiful."
She would have to agree. "What's on the program again, Momiji-kun?"
"I think some works by Schubert, Mozart, Chopin." He ticked them off one by one using his left hand, as Tohru's left hand were tucked into the crook of his right arm.
"Oh. I know Mozart and Schubert." She said, surprised herself. She recognized them, since she had listened to Momiji's recordings a lot and some of them included pieces by these two. She's just not familiar with all of their works, but she's willing to learn more about them. She hoped to be able to talk to Momiji about music one day.
In response, Momiji grinned to her, rubbing her hand which was holding on to his arm as he did so. She was happy that she was familiar to some of them, because it made her feel as if she was able to uncover one aspect of Momiji, the musician. "This is going to be interesting." He said, as Tohru looked at him questioningly.
"May I ask why?"
"Well, Chopin's compositions are for the piano. When you say Chopin, you immediately equate him with piano." He explained kindly, smiling. It made him happy to be talking about this to Tohru. He loved that she cared enough to show interest in music. "Playing Chopin's pieces on the violin is usually very rare. Though the musical world has gotten more open during the last few years, some critics wouldn't look too kindly at hearing Chopin being played on the violin. Some of the purists will probably even view it as a blasphemy of sorts."
The color drained out of Tohru's face. "W-Would Momo-san be fine? That may ruin her future with the violin!" She exclaimed, but presence of mind made her keep her tone conversational. She didn't want to bring attention to them, especially to the man beside her.
He rubbed her hand and kissed her at her temple, an unexpected show of affection but one which made her calm down and butterflies flutter in her stomach instead that she flushed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, Tohru. I didn't mean to make it sound like that. I thought it interesting because Momo seems to be willing to step out of the restrictions classical musicians are usually placed into. It shows she's got enough backbone in her." He said, tone taking on pride once more. "How she deals with the critics will be up to her, provided that they show up tonight. I'm sure she wouldn't mind them, if she's willing to challenge the norms."
That was true, Tohru agreed quietly. It seems that she has some of Momiji's devil-may-care attitude. Momiji was never scared to do one thing, and she had noticed that out of all the Sohmas, he was the one who didn't mind his curse as much, taking every opportunity to hug her when it presented itself, never mind transformation after. Some of this carefree and devil-may-care attitude sometimes translated into his daily life actions. Though it may appear hasty, it didn't mean that he hadn't considered all angles before arriving at such an action. This personality, aside from his emotional strength at pushing forward in spite of what his family had done to him, may have been some of the factors which led to her falling for him in the first place. "Well, if you put it like that, I guess Momo-san will be alright."
He winked at her in response, and she smiled, pleasantly.
Eventually, they were able to reach the hall itself. As she and Momiji made their way inside, she felt him freeze momentarily, his arm muscles stiffening that raised alarm bells to her immediately.
She focused her gaze in front of her, and immediately understood why. A very familiar couple was walking towards them, the woman a beautiful blonde, the man a handsome brunet. She recognized them both, the woman because she had met her in person once, the man from the photograph Momiji had shown her once.
Oh no. I didn't think we would run into them so soon… She began worrying, unconsciously rubbing Momiji's arm to soothe him. She didn't know what to do. Should she steer him away? Should she get him to step forward?
They were nearing them. If both of them decide to look around whilst talking among themselves, they would spot them.
Just as they were about five meters from them, Momiji unfroze, lifted his other arm around her as he whirled them both around, making them face the other way just as his parents reached the spot where they were standing just a few seconds ago. Luckily, the crowd seemed to have helped isolate them, because Momiji was supposed to be hard to miss, him being tall, blond and handsome at that.
He dropped his arm from around hers, which he probably did so as not to make her trip when he had turned them around earlier.
Dead silence hung between the two of them.
"Momiji-kun…" She began, looking at him worriedly, unsure how to continue.
The blond then turned and smiled down to her, albeit half-heartedly and more of a tight one than his usual genuine smile. "Sorry. I don't want my father breathing down my neck for being here. I want to watch Momo's performance without having to think about them or him stopping me."
This wasn't the first time she had known about his family situation, but this was the first time Momiji had appeared to be indifferent, rather than the resigned expression he had worn the first time he had told her what his mother had chosen to do. It made her shiver to see such an expression on his face – it all felt so wrong – a warm, caring expression suited bright, kind Momiji, rather than the cold, indifferent one he was wearing now.
With a jolt, Tohru realized the unpleasant truth which she should have known all along: Momiji was capable of such emotions. She didn't know why she had just been realizing this now, or why it seemed to be a big deal. She had been so used to seeing sunny, happy-go-lucky Momiji, this was the first time she was seeing the cold, almost distant Momiji.
And it was scary. A resigned one would be better than the indifferent one. Indifference meant he no longer cared at all. She didn't want him to turn into someone who didn't care. That would be seeing him wither right in front of her eyes.
"Momiji – "
"We've got a few minutes before the recital starts." He looked at his watch, before seeming to go back to his usual bubbly self, but she knew better – it was a front. Knowing that his bubbly behavior had mostly been a barrier he had put up so as to hide the world of loneliness he was in, Tohru realized she would rather see him smile genuinely rather than force himself to smile for her sake. "We'd better get seated down, Princess."
She let him steer her away from the lobby so that they could enter the main hall already. Since there was no time and this is not the best place to do so, she may have to try to find time to talk about this with him. Tohru was aware that she may be overstepping her bounds, but she was worried. Maybe she could do something to help – finally be able to do something for him after so long of him doing everything he could for her.
As they eventually found their seats, Momiji helped Tohru get settled in first before settling himself beside her. Even as he tried to not think about what happened earlier, he couldn't help but do so.
He had not been prepared to see his parents together. Though it was something he had gotten used to and accepted at one point that this was the kind of life given to him, it didn't mean that it didn't hurt. It was something he had grown accustomed to – but what he didn't expect was how he had not felt anything earlier when he saw them rather than the usual sting he usually felt. It was why he had frozen on his spot – he had frozen in surprise. It was like looking at a couple from afar.
It was like looking at a couple of strangers.
He didn't know how he came to feel that way. Though he had talked to his father over the past few years, he felt like it had become an obligation, rather than a conversation between father and son. The fact that his father did not offer as much information about his mother and sister cemented that feeling. Rather than talking to a father, he felt like he was talking to an uncle… or even a distant relative.
He supposed that wasn't a good thing, though if he thought about it logically, it may be the natural progression of things. Being estranged to a family for so long can and will make a person feel like a stranger to them after so many years. He had been alone for so long anyway. He had no place there, a fact that he had accepted when he had told Akito that he will not allow her to continue controlling him. Something he had recognized the time that he had decided to show himself to his mother for the last time.
Their happiness in a place where I am not. He remembered telling himself at the time. It was why he had been able to move forward after all.
Just then, the houselights dimmed, and an announcement came, welcoming the guests, explaining the house rules and wishing them to enjoy the night. Tohru was humming from beside him (she had probably recognized that he was deep in thought,) and with a jolt, he suddenly realized that she was humming When You Wish Upon a Star to herself. He listened to her for a bit longer, her humming calming him down and letting his thoughts dissipate, before becoming aware that she was rubbing circles on the back of his hand.
He was so overcame with emotion that he couldn't stop himself from leaning over and dropping a kiss on her temple, trying to convey his heartfelt gratitude of her being with him tonight through a sweet, simple gesture. Tohru's skin flushed, but she looked up at him, nodded, as if wordlessly telling him that she understood, and just leaned her head on his shoulder. This is what was also unique to the two of them – they seemed to have mastered the art of wordless communication that they can understand each other with a simple glance or a nod.
A feeling of contentment washed over him at her gentle weight on his shoulder, and he leaned back onto his seat, careful not to dislodge her from her current position. He couldn't help asking himself if this is what he would feel if he and Tohru were together, if this is what it felt like to be in a relationship with her. Thinking so reminded him of their impending talk later, something which made him nervous and at the same time, resolute.
Tonight will mark a change in their relationship, for better or for worse.
Finally, a figure from the right entered the stage. He joined the audience in applause as Momo, in her beautiful silver dress, glowing dirty-blond hair pulled into a ponytail curled at the ends walked elegantly with all the grace he was surprised that she had, carrying her violin and bow, gracefully smiling to the audience.
She has grown a lot, he marveled silently, though that felt like an understatement. He had last seen her when she had just turned eight years old. Now though, he was seeing a young lady standing in front of him. In the coming spring, she would be entering high school, if he was correct.
That was how long he had not seen her.
And… ah. There it was. The familiar sting in his chest. It seemed that when it came to his sister, he could feel. The sting had always been present whenever he thought of his baby sister, like an injury that was fixed years ago aching when the weather turned too cold.
Tohru squeezed his hand, causing him to look down to her. She appeared to be teary-eyed. "She has become beautiful, Momiji."
He squeezed her hand back. "That she did."
For a second, Momo's eyes met his, startling him, her own widening in response, as if she could hardly believe that he had gone to see her perform. He saw her school her expression to a calm one, then she gave a very subtle nod of her head towards him.
He felt quite… unsettled. Was that nod for him or was he mistaking it for someone else?
His parents weren't in the same row as them though. They were a few seats below them – he knew, because there was no mistaking that shade of blond hair anywhere. He wondered what his sister's nod had meant, because he had a feeling that he knew what it really meant.
As they reached the center of the platform, she and her accompanist sank into graceful bows, and the applause eventually died down. The two nodded at each other, and with the first note being struck, they were off.
"Ave Maria, Schubert." He said to Tohru in a low tone, and she nodded, smiling at him in thanks. She closed her eyes, her other hand clasped to her chest, a small smile on her lips. He was captivated by that simple smile, but he shook his head mentally, willing himself to focus on Momo. Tohru was proving to be a distraction to him which just about spoke how hopelessly crazy he was about the brunette that not even his sister can tear his attention away from her.
You are an idiot, Sohma Momiji.
He willed himself to focus on the music, his mind instead beginning to analyze his sister's technique. She seemed to be in the middle of developing her own style of expression while sticking to the composer's original preference of expression, a major feat considering her age, because at that age normally a musician would still stick to the composer's style.
Eventually the first song ended, to the sound of loud applause. Momo beamed as she bowed, and after another quick glance to her accompanist, she began the second song. Momiji looked on, pride welling up in his chest.
To think that he had played a part in her preference for playing the violin is enough. At least, for now.
During intermission, she and Momiji wandered around the lobby and the mezzanine, saying little. Even in silence they both enjoyed each other's company. That was a thing between her and Momiji – they could spend hours together without talking to one another and still enjoy each other's presence. He seemed to have gone back to his usual self thanks to Momo-san's music, and she was thankful. She wanted him to remember this night fondly instead of bitterly.
She noticed that a couple of people were beginning to gather around them, probably in awe of her companion… and no, wait. He was probably beginning to be recognized, she forgot that she was currently in a date with the world-class violinist Henry!
"Isn't that Henry? What's he doing here of all places?"
"Kami-sama he looks like a fairytale prince!"
"Who is she? Oh, looks like she's his date!"
She couldn't help but blush. Thankfully, the five-minute chime signaling the end of the intermission rang and Momiji turned to her, purposefully ignoring their audience. "We should get back to our seats."
She nodded, since she didn't trust herself to speak. Momiji placed a hand at the small of her back, the warmth from his hand seeping in through her dress, and she couldn't help but redden even more. His hand being there felt so good against her skin.
As days passed, she found herself admitting that she is craving his touch more and more. If she confesses to Momiji and he rejects her, she wouldn't know what to do with herself, but she recognized the fact that this is not the time to worry about this. I'll cross the bridge and then I'll get to it, she thought determinedly. If nothing else, she knew that this night would mark a progression in their relationship: for better or for worse.
Eventually, Momo's final song finished. She had played Tristesse by Chopin, and by the end of the performance there wasn't a dry eye in the audience. Tears were running down on Tohru's cheeks. It's title really is Etude Op. 10 No.3, and the name Tristesse came from Chopin's critics, named so because of the sad strains and Tristesse literally meant 'sadness'. The way she had interpreted it though – it sounded like during the first parts, Momo-san had been saying goodbye to something, and as she played on, they could hear the beginning of hope. It was quite a different interpretation from the piece, and it was a long time before the applause died down.
To her, it felt like Momo had been grieving, and is now seeing something like a light at the end of a tunnel – like she was beginning to hope. Tohru was willing to bet though, that rather than the fact she had been grieving about something, she may actually have been grieving about someone. It left little doubt in her mind who it is for, and her growing suspicion that Momo-san may already be aware of the truth regarding Momiji's real identity and his connection to her family.
As the houselights went up, the young couple joined the throng making slow progress to the lobby. Momiji offered her his handkerchief, and brought his arm around hers to ensure she wouldn't trip over her own two feet as she dabbed at her eyes, and noticing, for the briefest moment, that his eyes were red as well. She kept quiet in respect of his feelings and she hoped her makeup wouldn't run – she remembered Uo telling her that they used waterproof makeup on her – she could only hope that would hold true now.
As they reached the lobby, she was able to dry her eyes enough, and she thanked Momiji, who merely smiled at her as they navigated the area. As they did so, she became aware of the fact that the recital was over, and it was time for them to talk.
"I promised you a conversation." Momiji began, as they stood at the entrance of the concert hall and fewer people were beginning to clear out. "Would you like to take a walk outside? It's a lovely evening."
She was beginning to feel nervous, but she nodded. She just wanted to be with him… for a few more minutes… before confessing what she really felt which may lead to her losing him or may lead to them becoming something more. "Yes. It would be a waste not to."
"Will you be fine though?" Momiji asked. "I forgot, you were wearing those gorgeous heels." He teased, and she blushed in response. She was happy that he cared enough to notice.
"I will be. It isn't a pair of stilettos… I'll survive. Probably." She said, smiling, though she is still nervous.
He chuckled, deep and throaty. "Hang on to me, Princess. I don't want your feet to start complaining while I'm trying tell you something important."
She giggled, the sound shaky – if he noticed, he had probably decided to ignore it – and he took hold of her hands but stopped all of a sudden. "Your hands are quite cold. That wrap may not be doing as much for you." So saying, he reached for the lapels of his blazer and shrugged it off of him. "Give me your wrap and wear this instead."
"But Momiji won't you be cold?" She protested, but he shook his head before she could even finish.
"I'll be fine, I have two more layers." He told her as he settled the jacket around her shoulders. She immediately felt a lot cozier and warmer, as he smiled at her. "Let's go, meine dame."
They fell into step beside each other as Momiji led her along the school's quadrangle, where there were cherry trees still in bloom. She had always loved this particular area of the school for the sole reason of being able to view these trees. Smiling, she looked up to the night sky, noting in particular that the stars appeared to be twinkling their brightest tonight. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt this peaceful at night. She quietly admired her handsome escort as he led her with a normal pace, loving his side profile, his sharp jawline emphasized. His looks were softer than Kyo's but sharper than Yuki's, if one were to describe and compare them (even if she hadn't meant to). Kyo is 'devilishly handsome', Yuki is 'angelically beautiful' and Momiji is the 'cool cutie-turned-heartthrob', something that all the girls in their school had recognized back then. Just before they had graduated, there were even rumors going around that Momiji and Haru would take over Kyo and Yuki's positions eventually, sort of being the Sohma legacy in Kaibara High. She remembered the former cat of the zodiac scoffing at hearing it and Yuki face-palming at the thought.
"Tohru." He stopped under a sakura tree in full bloom, and she stopped as well, feeling that this is the beginning of whatever he wanted to say to her, and her heart pounded in her chest in response. "I just wanted to say thank you for being with me here tonight. I cannot express enough how grateful I am that you agreed to go with me here. If you hadn't been there… well, this night may have turned out differently." She knew he was talking about seeing his parents and she nodded, grateful that she was able to ease the burden he was carrying, if a little.
"And I've been wanting to tell you something. You deserve to know the truth, especially after what happened two nights ago."
Her cheeks flushed in memory. She knew very well what he was talking about, recalling his intense gaze as he moved to almost kiss her full on the lips but changed his mind at the last minute while they were in his car.
"Do you remember what my dream was?" He suddenly asked, and she nodded.
How could she forget? He had told her what it is the day she had snuck in the Sohma estate. "You wanted to become a professional violinist and be able to have your father, mother and sister watch you perform." She responded, recalling the bittersweet memory. One way or another, he had fulfilled his dream. He had become a professional violinist – a globally-successful one that is – though having his family watch him was still… far to be reached.
He nodded, looking chagrined all of a sudden. "The truth is, I had a new dream. This was something I had told Haru and Rin the day before you and Kyo left for him to train."
They were facing each other now, and Momiji looked at her straight in the eye, all traces of humor gone from his expression. "I told them that I wanted to find somebody like you. Someone as amazing as you… or probably someone who's more amazing than you as a significant other." He gave a quiet laugh ruefully. "Then we'll visit you just to show off."
Tohru's eyes widened. What? What did he mean finding someone as amazing as her? As a significant other? What did that mean?
She was confused, and she knew that it showed on her face, but she held her tongue. Something told her that she should let him continue, that he was far from finished, and she had no wish to interrupt him in spite of the questions beginning to form in her head.
Momiji nodded at her encouragingly, then looked away from her, a humorless smile curling his lips. "But then, Tohru, I never did get to fulfill that dream. Turns out, no one can even come close to being as amazing as you are. Figures." He chuckled, almost sadly. "I should have expected it. The girl I fell in love with was that amazing, no other girl can compare."
Tohru's mouth dropped open. Did he just say what she thought he did? "M-Momiji? What… what are you saying? I don't think I quite understand – "
"The only other person I told about my mother, the girl who would cry for others, for me; the girl I fell in love with," here he stepped forward, carefully reaching for her left hand all the while not breaking their eye contact, "is that amazing, all other women pale in comparison to her in my eyes. Honda Tohru is truly one of a kind. Honda Tohru, the woman I've fallen for… probably the only woman I would ever love." He lifted her hand to his lips for a kiss. "Because even after everything that had happened, my feelings for her had not changed all this time."
She was trembling, unsurprisingly so. Momiji checked her reaction – her eyes were so wide that he could see two clear reflections of himself through her chocolate irises. He hoped that it wasn't too shocking to her. He was also trembling to be honest – he had never confessed to a girl and that was to be expected – but more than that, he had basically placed their relationship hanging on a balance. Her response would determine which edge it would fall into.
He had given her his heart for her to forsake – or to hold.
Tohru's eyes shone with the unmistakable sign of tears, her other hand lifting to her lips as she looked at him disbelievingly. "M-Momiji… why? Why have you… Why did you never tell me… all this time…?" Her voice was shaking and she felt dizzy. She realized the implications of what Momiji was saying. If he has been in love with her since then… that meant that all this time he had watched her and Kyo… and she had done nothing but hurt him.
He let go of her hand to raise his hands to her face and cup her cheeks gently, wiping the tears falling down her cheeks with light fingers. "You were only looking at him. I knew his curse breaking would make you happier than mine breaking ever would. It was my choice not to tell you, Tohru." He shook his head at her, recognizing the self-loathing that had seemed to have shown itself on her face. "I never said anything, because Kyo was the one who could make you happy back then. All I had ever wanted was to see you happy. I had only hoped that you would continue smiling. It wasn't your fault that I had decided not to speak up about the matter."
Fresh tears spilled from the corners of her eyes. "But my feelings changed." She responded, amidst her tears not stopping. "You told me before that what I had felt back then was real, even when that had changed."
He nodded. But before he could open his mouth to continue, she beat him to it. "I can acknowledge that what I felt for Kyo is true. But I grew up… and he did as well. I am so sorry… I am so sorry it took me quite some time to realize my real feelings." She couldn't stop another tear from falling from her eyes. "I had never meant to hurt you, Momiji."
Now it was Momiji who was beginning to be confused. Is Tohru saying what he thinks she's saying?
She clasped his hands which were still on her cheeks. "May I respond to your confession?"
Unconsciously, he swallowed nervously, his adam's apple bobbing up and down. He could see Tohru following the movement, appearing very curious and seeming to be entranced by the sight, but she quickly turned determined, letting go of his hands to wipe her own tears away.
"I have made you wait for a long time." She said, voice trembling, tone sounding regretful. "I had taken a long detour, not knowing the path I'm walking in was leading to you all this time. Momiji I… I had done a lot of thinking the past few days. Weeks. And I know what I feel now. I have realized this the morning I had watched you practicing with your violin. All this time, even when I had stayed with Kyo, the reason my feelings had changed… was because I had feelings for you all this time. I love you, Momiji. If you can forgive me… I hope I can… can make it up to you."
Silence followed her confession. Minutes ticked by, and she was still watching him look at her in pure disbelief. She was starting to worry he was going into shock, and her face was reddening quickly by the minute. "Momiji-kun I'm sure. Please believe me… I am not trying to ease my conscience or make you feel better, and I am most definitely not taking pity on you. I do feel that way for you, if you are willing to accept me – "
A hand on the back of her neck shushed her, and before she could say anything else, Momiji's handsome profile filled her vision and belatedly realizing what was happening, she automatically closed her eyes as their lips touched for the first time.
It was a truly unforgettable night.