"Chasing after You"
Chapter 5
Rip awoke early the next morning, but Beth was already gone. It wasn't like he'd actually expected her to stay- that wasn't her style. Knowing how she was didn't change the way he felt, though. Maybe she'll stop running one day, he thought. After a quick shower, he went to the bunkhouse to check in with the wranglers. He was taking John's advice from the previous day and going into town to find Fred's replacement. He gave Lloyd instructions for the younger men's day, refilled his coffee cup, and headed out for the Montana State Correctional Facility.
Later that same afternoon, Beth joined her boss Bob Schwartz for a drink. He'd come to Montana for other business, but had made time to see Beth, as well. He needed her back in Salt Lake City, but he knew her family took precedence right now. Plus, if anyone could take over a company via Skype, it was Beth. They were still discussing her sabbatical and the possibility of Schwartz and Meyer opening a second location in Bozeman when Beth saw Dan Jenkins come in with a pretty blonde woman.
"Refill?" she asked Bob. She took off her coat and tousled her hair before heading to the bar. Despite there being plenty of stools, she selected the one right beside Dan.
"Oh, hi Dan," she said, pretending like she'd only just noticed him. She extended her hand and introduced herself to the other woman, Dan's wife Vicki.
"Got yourself quite the shiner there, huh?" Beth commented, referring to Dan's still black eye.
"He was in a car wreck, bless him," said Vicki quickly, a loving hand resting on his arm.
Obviously she was none the wiser to what had actually happened, which gave Beth an odd sense of satisfaction. "Yea? Those airbags really pack a punch, don't they?"
Beth and Vicki shared a bit more giggly talk before Vicki excused herself to the restroom. With his wife out of sight, Dan's whole demeanor changed. "What do you think you're doing?!" he demanded. "Do you think I'm going to fuck you or something?!"
That made Beth genuinely laugh. "I'm not fucking you," she snorted. "I'm fucking her," she inclined her head toward the spot Vicki had just left. "And if you have a brother, I'm fucking him, too. Where's the fun in wrecking a single man? When I break you, I want to know I'm breaking generations." With that, Beth took the refilled glasses and headed back to where Bob waited. "By the way," she called over her shoulder to Dan, "send Vicki over when she gets back."
Oops, Beth stood up, but immediately sat back down again. She wasn't sure how long she'd been there or how many drinks she'd had, for that matter, but she was sure of one thing- she was drunk. Quite the accomplishment, Bethany, she thought. Time to go.
The valet had enough discretion to convince her not to drive, but now she needed a ride home. Rip... she thought, squinting at her phone screen. It rang several times and went to voicemail. She tried Jamie next. He didn't answer either, but Beth called immediately back, not caring if she was disturbing him. This time, he answered on the last ring. He'd said Rip was busy, but after a humiliating confession on her part, Jamie had agreed to come get her.
Beth sat on the curb, contemplating where her afternoon had gone wrong while she waited. It had started with Bob, then Dan Jenkins and his wife Vicki showed up. 'She's fun...' Beth thought. Vicki might just be Dan's perfect weakness, but that was a thought for a time when she was slightly less intoxicated.
Dan's friend Max van Arrington had joined them shortly after Bob left and that's where things got fuzzy. Obviously already inebriated, Max had bought a round of shots for the table, followed by another. At some point, maybe between rounds three and four, not to mention the drinks she had with Bob, Beth realized she might've overdone herself.
This is gonna be one hell of a hangover, she thought as she spotted Jamie turning into the country club's parking lot. She groaned and stood up, the thought of Jamie's face making her even more nauseous than the whiskey had.
He pulled up to the curb and leaned across the passenger seat to open the door. "Beth, tut tut," he said mockingly, definitely enjoying his sister's low. "I thought you were the professional alcoholic of the family?"
Beth climbed in the truck but said nothing as they pulled out of the parking lot. After a mile or two, Jamie broke the silence, "You're sad."
"You think so?" she asked, taking out a cigarette and putting it between her lips.
Jamie yanked it away from her and broke it, tossing it to the floorboard. "This is not helping."
"You," she said poking her finger at his ear like a child, "have no idea what I'm doing."
"You're doing what you always do. You're making a giant cry for help! Help from what? Who the fuck knows, Beth? So just keep it up, Beth, keep acting like the only 34-year-old on spring break and we'll all keep giving you attention!"
"He asked me to wreck Jenkins, and I am wrecking him." She chuckled, "You think you could wreck him stone-cold sober, Jamie, huh? A bet you suck dick like there's a prize inside."
This pissed Jamie off- he slapped angrily at his sister, barely keeping his eyes on the road; she slapped back and shoved until he finally took his hands from her.
"That make you feel good, huh?" she yelled at him. "Big man!"
Jamie laughed, "Yes, actually it was quite liberating. Like I had a massage-"
"Fuck you!"
"Yeah? Fuck you! I'm the only one you haven't."
"You know why you're so soft, Jamie? 'Cause you've never lost. You've never lost anything in your whole soft fucking life. You know nothing about me or what I've been through. You know nothing of loss."
"Well, I lost the same mother you lost. And the same brother."
"You don't have them. You didn't lose them!" she replied. "There is a difference!"
"Oh, I can't wait to hear this," Jamie said sarcastically, "Enlighten me! Why don't you ritet me with your insight?"
"I'll show you the difference." Beth opened the glove compartment and pulled out the handgun that she knew he kept there. Jamie paused, a flash of uncertainty in his eyes. She held the gun to her chin and Jamie nodded, calling her bluff. "You gotta watch them die to lose them."
"Well, I should be so lucky," he said, "but you're incapable of hurting yourself Beth. It's just everyone else you don't mind beating up."
She cocked the gun and placed it back under her chin.
"Do it," Jamie challenged, "Go on, do it. Do the world a fucking favor."
"Mmh," Beth nodded.
Suddenly, she pulled the trigger. Jamie slammed on breaks and the truck skidded to a stop in the middle of the road.
"You gotta watch 'em die to lose 'em, Jamie," she said seriously, now pointing the gun at Jamie who had hit hands up in surrender. "You gotta watch your mother look you in the eye... with no love in her heart...not even a little! And you get to carry that. That's losing, Jamie."
Jamie slowly lowered his hands and reached to take the gun from her. At first, she laughed hollowly and fought against him. After a moment, she let him have it and a sob escaped her lips. "Hey, hey, hey, hey," he said, lifting her chin to make her look at him. She tried to pull away, but he held her steady, wiping away a tear. "If hating me keeps you from hating yourself, I can't be that for you, Beth. That's what family's for."
She turned forward and wiped at her cheeks angrily. Taking out another cigarette and fumbling with the lighter, she whispered, "Take me home, please."
Rip had spent his afternoon getting Walker, a guitar carrying cowboy he'd found at the prison release, acclimated to the ranch. He'd set high, explicitly clear, expectations of the newcomer; Walker would learn what it meant to be a branded man soon enough. Rip absently scratched his chest where his own brand hid beneath his flannel work shirt. Tonight, Walker would join their ranks, the criminals of Yellowstone, the ruthless protectors. His mind drifted to Beth and he pitied any man who might ever hurt her. Hurt her and you'll never hurt again, he thought maliciously. The sun was sinking and darkness was beginning to fall over the rolling hills surrounding the Dutton property. It was almost time to wrangle up his misfits.
The ride home with Jamie had been excruciating, but it was nothing compared to the pounding in Beth's head. Her emotions were running high and she wanted to get away from it all. She'd called Rip again after getting home, but he still didn't answer. His truck was there, however, so she assumed he was somewhere out on the property on horseback without cell service. She sent him a quick text instead of leaving a message.
As she walked down the hall to her bedroom, Beth heard voices coming from one of the guest rooms. The door was cracked and inside, she saw her father reading to Kayce's son, Tate. Beth's younger brother, Kayce, was going through his own shit, so she wasn't surprised to see Tate there, but John reading to the little boy in bed was a different story. She tried to remember a time from her childhood where John had been so paternal, but she came up short. Her oldest brother, Lee, had been more of a parent to her while growing up, but now he was gone, too.
She slammed her bedroom door, grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the bar cart, and made a beeline for her closet. She slid the barn-style doors closed before allowing a gut-wrenching scream to escape her lips. Tears began to fall and she couldn't think straight, a million thoughts flooding her mind at once. She'd set out to save the Yellowstone by destroying anyone in her path, but was she just destroying herself instead? She screamed until her throat was hoarse; her fists hurt from hitting the floor repeatedly and her eyes were all but swollen shut from crying.
Just as she was considering getting off the floor and pulling herself back together, her phone vibrated. Home in 5 the text read- it was Rip at last. Without bothering to text him back, Beth started to the foreman's cabin, leaving the rest of the Dutton family, finally, in silence.
It was nearly midnight when Rip made his way back to the barns and cell reception. He had several missed calls and a text from Beth. She rarely text him and the brevity of her message was surprising- 'I need you,' was all she'd said. He noticed a light shining in her bedroom window at the main house, so he text her back. After a quick goodnight to Lloyd and the others, he turned to go home.
He'd barely taken off his jacket when he heard a knock at the door. Without waiting for an answer, Beth came inside. "Hey, are you ok?" He met her at the door with open arms and she fell into him.
She shook her head, "Uh uh." Tears were welling in her eyes, threatening to fall. "Don't talk," she said simply. She covered his mouth with hers, silencing any further questions, and she kissed him like her life depended on it. Now, Rip understood what she'd meant when she said she needed him.
As Beth began to undo his jeans, Rip tried to steer her to the bedroom, but she resisted, "No, here." Despite her size, she easily pushed him onto the couch and straddled him; she pulled her dress up to her waist and their bodies quickly fell into a familiar rhythm. It wasn't long before Rip felt her tighten around him and he knew she'd reached climax. Beth rested her head in the crook of his neck while catching her breath. He felt hot tears on his shoulder and he knew that her release had been as emotional as it was physical. With a gentle flip, Rip moved her from his lap to a lying position on the couch. He slid in beside her, knowing that this "big spoon/little spoon" position, as she called it, was her favorite.
With her back to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around her, Beth finally felt safe. This might be the closest to Heaven I ever get, she thought before drifting to sleep beside him.