"You may be out of my sight, but never out of my mind."

CHAPTER 3

She's gone…

Where is she? Did she change rooms? Was she already discharged? No it can't be, it's too soon.

"Richard! Where is she?" Derek shouted once he entered the chief's office. Richard just looked at him in defeat. "Where is Addie? Where is my wife?" He said, shaking in panic.

"Derek…"

"Where's Archer?"

"Derek…"

"Answer me Richard!" He shouted angrily but panic was still evident on his face.

"Addison was relocated to another hospital." Richard informed him with a sigh. "Wha-what do you mean relocated? I should have been informed first."

"Addie decided that it is for the best if she moves to another hospital."

"But Seattle Grace is her best option. Why will she transfer? And why didn't she tell me?"

"She isn't in Seattle anymore." Richard looked at his former student with pity. Derek frowned at this and said "What do you mean she isn't in Seattle anymore?"

There is this panic in him that he couldn't understand and it was eating him alive. A few days ago she was just there, in bed and him by the bed holding her hand. A few days ago he decided that he was really going try and fix their marriage. A few days ago he almost lost her. Then he remembered, anything can change with just a blink of an eye, now maybe, he truly lost her.

"Their plane took off about an hour ago. You are an hour too late."

Then again he was always too late.

"Maybe, maybe one day you'll realize you still love her but what if it is already too late? What if by the time you realize you want to be with her and stay in your marriage it'll be too late? And she's already gone. Don't wait for it to come to that point. If you want an out, just let her go." Derek recalls what Bailey told him during their elevator ride.

"Why now Derek? Why now?" Addison said, looking at him straight while tears are beginning to form on her eyes.

He can't get those words out of his mind. Is he really that stupid? That he thought that he could hold onto time and waste it? Now, his stupidity strikes him, now he probably lost the love of his life. Is it really too late?

"Shepherd! Shepherd!" Richard calls him out but he didn't bother looking back but instead he rushed to the elevator. With only one person in his mind; Addison Montgomery-Shepherd.

Once out of the elevator, he tried so many times calling Archer but he wouldn't answer the phone then someone called him out again. "Shepherd! Where are you going? I need a consult and you have two surgeries scheduled this afternoon." Bailey runs to him while he is walking out of the hospital. "Move them, move them all or give them to another doctor." Derek said, rushing into his car while the resident followed him out. "Where do you think you're going?" Bailey asked while peaking on the car window. "I am going after my wife."

The first place that he thought of when Richard said that Addison is not in Seattle anymore is New York. He doesn't care if he will go back to that place which destroyed his life, the only thing he cares about is looking for Addison, bringing her back to him and rebuilding the once that was destroyed.

When he arrived in New York, he went straight to Mt. Sinai and hoped that she would be admitted there but unfortunately she was not. He called every hospital in New York with the help of his former colleagues but they weren't lucky, she wasn't in any of them.

Being out of any options to think of, he called Savvy; Addison's best friend. Maybe she knows where Addie is. "Savv, hey. I know it's in the middle of the night and I'm so sorry for interrupting but do you know where Addie is?" He said, sounding hopeful once Savvy picked up the phone. "Derek? Oh, hey um...I- I'm sorry but I haven't heard anything from her about three days ago after the accident. I-um I am so sorry for what happened." Savvy said from the other side of the call. "Oh, I, can I go to your place? Just to stay for the night? I also really need to talk to a friend. You and Weiss are my closest for now." Derek sighed. "I'm sorry Derek but we are out of town and…" Derek cuts her off "It's okay just say hi to Weiss for me." then ends the call.

"Derek?" He heard someone calling him from behind. This is not the time. He can't do this now. He doesn't know if he is ready to face the person behind him. But without thinking he looked.

"Mark." He swallowed hard.

He really needs a friend. Maybe Mark isn't the right choice now, but he's here.

"He was just here." He heard Addison's voice on the back of his mind, having a little flashback of their fallout here in New York.

"Addison was alone in your marriage for a long time Derek." Mark said, sipping his scotch and Derek just staring at his. "You left her in your marriage. You didn't give her time and she thinks that you don't care about her anymore." He continued. "Then, there was the miscarriage." he paused, both giving each other a quick side eye. A while ago while discussing the fiasco that happened in Seattle Derek mentioned everything to Mark.

"Everyone was there, and we all saw how devastated she was during that time."

"Everyone knew, except me." Derek hissed.

"You weren't there Derek. You chose not to be there. We called you a million times, even in the conference but you didn't answer any of our calls."

"No one even bothered to tell me? You didn't even bother to mention it to me again? Two years Mark, two freakin years ago."

"It was not my story to tell. Addison, it was her decision and we all chose to respect that."

"I also lost a child!" Derek shouted, clenching the glass and his fist.

"If you answered any of those damn calls you would know! If you paid more attention to your wife you would know!" Mark shouted back.

"So everything is my fault. I wasn't there." Derek nodded then bows his head in defeat.

"She was shattered Derek. She is shattered like broken glass and you didn't even try to pick up those that you've broken. I tried my best to comfort her..."

"So you decided to take advantage and sleep with my wife? Because she was broken?"

"I tried to comfort her but she only wants you. For some undetermined reasons she always wants you and only you. And it wasn't like that." Mark paused, drinking another sip of his drink.

"It wasn't like what?"

"I never slept with your wife, I never slept with Addison."

"Don't lie to me, you were there on top of her. She was naked."

"You didn't walk in on me and Addison, me doing her. You walked in on me and Addison, me helping her." He paused for a second. "She was attempting to kill herself that night, Derek. I went to the brownstone just like you asked, to check in on her but when I entered. No one was there, it was quiet. Then I went upstairs to check and that is when I heard the faucet running from your bathroom inside the master bedroom. At first I didn't want to enter but when I called a few times she didn't answer. I started to panic when I walked in your bedroom and saw the water sipping to the door. When I opened it, she was there in the bathtub, under the water. I got her out of the tub and she wasn't breathing. She wasn't breathing Derek. Do you even know how nervous I was at that moment? I was thinking that what if she dies and I would lose my best friend. If she dies, my other best friend will go home with a dead wife. That's where I started CPR, it took many minutes to bring her back. Once she was conscious again, I was so relieved. Because of too much emotion I hugged her not minding that she was naked under me, that's when you saw us and the rest is history." Mark confessed to Derek the whole truth about what happened that night and he was totally speechless. He blew everything out of proportion. It was all a misunderstanding. He was, once again, at fault.

"I-I didn't- I didn't know." Derek utters, didn't know what to say about the horrific information he just heard. ''Yah, I know, it is all messed up." Mark said, drinking his scotch fully.

"I messed up. I messed up. It is my fault. It is my fault I lost her." Derek started to cry in pain.

"Hey man. It is not yet too late. We will look for another way, I am here for you. You don't get to cry or break apart when there is still a chance. There is still a chance." Mark comforted his best friend.

Mark decided to accompany Derek on his quest to look for Addison. Derek still feels uncomfortable being around Mark not because he has anger towards the guy but he was shrinking and humiliated by his act. Mark said it was nothing, and they should just forget about it and focus on looking for Addison.

"Wife hunting has always been a difficult task ever since med school." Mark kids as they stopped in front of the Montgomery estate.

It was freezing cold then they remembered those people inside that house were also as cold as ice. But Addison was different, Derek thought to himself. She was different from the rest of her family. She was warm, welcoming, cheerful, fun and all of Addison's other warm personalities that makes her Addison. That Addison made him fall in love with her.

He looked at his best man and took a deep breath then knocked on the door. It took a few seconds when the door opened. It was the butler. Addison's favorite butler to be specific. "Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Sloan it is nice of you to visit. What brings you two to the estate?" Butler Charles said politely. "We came here to look for Addison. Is she here? Or is she still admitted to a hospital?" Derek inquired.

"I'm sorry Dr. Shepherd but Ms. Montgomery…:"

"Shepherd. She is a Shepherd now." Derek quickly corrected.

The butler nodded then continued to speak. "Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd is not at home right now. We have no contact with her as of the moment."

"What about Archer, where is he?"

"I believe that Mr. Montgomery is out of town to continue his delayed book signing."

"Bizzy? The Captain? Where are they?" Derek desperately asked.

"I'm sorry but they are not available like the rest of the family. Both of them are out of the country for a charity event that they are hosting."

"Charles please, I need to know where Addison is. Please." Derek pleaded and desperation was clearly evident to his eyes.

"I am deeply sorry Dr. Shepherd but I can't help you." Butler Charles finally said then closed the door.

Derek frustratedly runs his fingers through his hair walking around in small circles. Mark witnessed his friend's plea.

"I need to find her, Mark. I need to find my love."

Hi guys! I hope you are still reading this fic and I hope you like it. Please give me some reviews of your thoughts about the chapter. Thank you with much love!