"The heart will never forget"

CHAPTER 4

It was almost three years since he last saw her. Since the last time he got to feel her warmth. Got to see her beautiful eyes and heart stopping smile. It has been almost three years but he never stops looking for her. People around him are telling him to quit and that if Addison wants to be found she should have shown up by now but he doesn't listen. His only and last communication with her is their divorce papers. He can still remember the day he received them again.

Flashback.

It has been months since he came back to Seattle with Mark. They have rekindled their friendship and brotherhood. Even though he came back he never stops looking for her. Derek is in his office absentmindedly scrolling through his computer when he hears a knock. "Dr. Shepherd, mail for you." he accepts it and signs the claim letter. He was curious about its content and that is why he hurriedly opened it. His heart breaks into pieces when he reads the first capitalized bold letters; DIVORCE PAPERS. It is like the air was sucked out of him. His heart shattered even more when he skimmed through it, she signed. She signed above her long tongue twister names. "No." he thought. "This can't be. This can't be the end of us."

Through the day he tried to contact her, he even called Archer but it was straight to voicemail. Then it was there he tried to contact the lawyer involved. Montgomery's lawyer. "Good day sir to whom may I have the pleasure?" a firm voice answered. "This is Derek Shepherd." he replied.

"Oh, Dr. Shepherd. I assume that you have already received the papers."

"I received them alright." he said, gritting his teeth.

"The papers are very well detailed but if you have any more questions you may ask them."

"I already have one question. Where is she? I have to see her."

"My apologies Dr. Shepherd but my client requested that there will be no interaction between the two of you. I will be your only bridge to reach her."

"Dammit just tell me where she is!"

"Like I said…"

Derek cuts him and says. "Tell her I won't sign the papers!" then he hung up.

End of Flashback

He keeps on tearing the papers every time he receives them and the lawyer keeps on contacting him and forcing him to sign but he won't budge. For almost three years he keeps on getting the same signed papers. But till this day he keeps on going back to the Montgomery state asking if she is around or if they have any news about her. But he keeps receiving the same answer. He also calls their close friends but same as always they have no clue on her whereabouts. He even went to the brownstone and the hamptons hoping that she'll be there but there are no signs of her anywhere.

"Shepherd you have to stop." he heard the chief saying with a concerned voice. The chief has been very concerned about his former student. Not only is he neglecting his work but also his health. "Why will I stop?" Derek glared at him. "It has been almost three years and she has not been seen. She doesn't want to be seen."

"I won't have this problem if you had informed me that she'll be leaving!" he slammed his hand on the table. "Don't blame me, don't blame others Derek. You are the reason why she left." the chief said, walking closer to face Derek and sit down on the chair. "I was ready. I am ready to give us a real shot." His voice is shaky. "You were too late Derek."

"You can't do anything if she doesn't want to be found. All you need to do now is focus on your career." the chief suggested. "I'll look for her. The last years of my marriage I have been more focused on my career and now I have to focus on what matters most and that's Addison."

A week later, the chief requested Derek to travel to LA, to check on a patient that was transferred there. He was hesitant at first because his monthly visit in New York is upcoming and it will be almost three years since she left him but this time the chief assured him that he can extend his leave when he goes to LA so he took it.

"Ugh man, I wish I could go with you." Mark whined while Derek gave him a curious look. "It's LA!" Mark continued like he was stating the obvious which Derek nodded. "I'm going to go there for work, Mark." Derek said while checking his passport. "I know! But it's LA." Mark continued to whine.

"You could come, you know." Derek looked at his best friend.

"And jeopardize my off next week? No way." Mark replied.

"I already told you, I can go to New York by myself."

"I am your best man and I have to be there for you."

Just when Derek was about to reply, his flight was called. "I have to go now. Bye!" he said.

"I'll see you in New York!" Mark shouted.

His plane just landed. "Well that flight was long." he thought. He called a taxi and went to the hotel to leave his things after that he went straight to the hospital, St. Ambrose Hospital. Derek checks his patient who is in need of surgery right away. He scheduled it for tomorrow morning. He went back to the hotel to rest, his jetlag was late unfortunately just like him in his life.

When he wakes up he feels restless but still has enough energy to pursue the surgery. It was touch and go. Though the surgery was a success he still had quite a scare. Derek is on the nurse station checking the charts of the post-op when he hears a familiar voice. "Derek Shepherd!" He turned around and smiled instantly looking at the person. "Sam Bennett!" He offered a bro hug and his friend gladly accepted. "It has been so long." Sam said while they pull away. "Yeah, it's been a while." Derek nodded.

"What are you doing here?" his friend asked.

"I got a patient who was transferred here, chief Webber requested. I just got out of surgery." Derek answered.

"Oh, so you're the hotshot neurosurgeon they keep whispering about." Sam said. Derek gave him an embarrassed smile. "I heard you have a private practice here." Derek changed the subject. "Aha, uhm yes. Naomi and I started it." he grinned. "You and Naomi ha? So how are you and the missus?" Derek smiled at his friend. "Divorced." Sam replied shortly. "What? What happened?" he concernedly asked his unfortunate friend who he thinks that if he doesn't work fast and see Addison will also be his fate. "I don't know. I just woke up one day and I was not feeling it anymore." Sam answered honestly. "You ended your marriage because you are not feeling it anymore? Are you serious?" Derek asked with obvious disbelief in his voice. "Hey, you don't get to judge me. Where is Addie?" Sam stated sarcastically. "She left me." Derek said, looking down on the floor. Sam clears his throat and says. "I heard, I'm sorry." Then he pats his friend's slouched shoulder. "I'm still looking for her and I have no plan on stopping. I'm trying my best." Derek looks at his friend. Sam nodded understandably. "Hey, why don't we go to your practice?" Derek yet again changed the subject. "I don't know, the practice is kinda small." Sam was unsure. "Come on. I heard from the nurses here that it is one of the best practices here in LA." Derek said. "Alright, fine let's go." Sam scratches the back of his head then just smiles at Derek which Derek smiled in response.

They arrived at the Oceanside Wellness Group. "Wow! Sam, you did really great here." Derek said, looking around and admiring his friends' success. "Thanks, I couldn't do it without Naomi and our friends here." Sam grinned. "Speaking of… Hi Naomi!" Derek grinned and offered Naomi a hug. "Derek Shepherd?" Naomi accepts the hug then frowned at her ex-husband.

"Naomi Bennett. Is it still Bennet? How are you? You are looking more beautiful!" Derek told her while pulling away from the hug. "Oh same old Derek Shepherd. And yes, I kept Bennett so I am still Naomi Bennett." Naomi playfully slapped his arm. "I'm serious! And great job with the practice by the way. Congratulations!" Derek is happy for his friends. "Thanks!" Naomi smiled. For a moment there was silence between the trio which Naomi finally breaks. "Can I talk to Sam for a moment? It's about a patient."

"Yes, of course! Always the patient ey? I was wondering since internship is it really just about a patient or…" Once again Naomi slapped his arm. "It is about a patient." Naomi started walking away. "I'll be right back." Sam said. "Take your time." He grinned at his friend. "Patient!" Naomi shouted and he chuckled.

Naomi and Sam are already out of sight. He keeps on looking around. He sees the doctors that Sam introduced to him awhile ago. Violet, the shrink. Cooper, the pediatrician. Then there is Pete, the alternative medicine specialist. He was wondering about those empty offices Sam talked about. He feels like he wants to go there and be part of the practice. He was really engaged by the idea. Derek started walking to that side of practice when he noticed that there was a name on the window but he was not able to see it properly because something hit him. When he looked 'oh someone hit him'

"I'm thowwyyy mither." the little kid said while looking at her feet and tiny hands clenching her little bunny. "Hey it's okay." Derek assured the little girl then going down on one knee even though he is already on his knee the girl is still a little small in height and he assumed that she is about two or three years old. The girl has a black curly hair. The girl looked at him and there was a flatter in his heart. Those eyes. Sparkling blue eyes with a mixture of green. Suddenly, he yet again found himself lost in someone's eyes. He knew those beautiful eyes. He was looking at those same eyes for a third half of his life. "Wow, you have beautiful eyes." he speaks up his mind. "Thank you. People sayth I have mommy'th eyeth." the little girl said, shyly. She has lisps. "Your mommy must be beautiful." He smiled and she nodded with a small smile, her eyes twinkling. She was about to reply when someone called her.

"Hey, baby sis!" The little boy runs with his little feet with a similar bunny toy in his hand. When the boy approached them he instantly hugged his sister. "I thought I lost you." he told his little sister. That was the sweetest and greatest scene he's seen in years. "I'm thowwyy. I bumped on the mither." she pointed at Derek. The little boy looked him in the eye and it feels like he is looking at a mirror. Deep ocean blue eyes. It was reflecting on him. "Oh, I'm sorry my sister hit you. She didn't mean it, we were just playing." the little boy said nervously at the strange man he was facing. Derek smiled at the little boy. He is defending his little sister but they look like they are in the same age. "No big deal little man." He can't remove the smile on his face while he brushes the boy's black curly hair, similar to his little sister's hair.

"I have been looking everywhere for you two." A male's firm but calm voice called out. "Papa!" The two little kids run with their little feet going to the man who has his arms wide open for them launched on. "Who is ready for ice cream?" he said while carrying the two kids. They both adorably raised their hands. "Me! Me!" they both shouted. That is when the man looked at him. He puts down the kids.

"Shepherd?" he asked.

"McGregor." Derek greeted. William McGregor, Addison's childhood friend.

"Do you know him, papa?" the little boy asked with his brows frowned with curiosity.

"He is an old friend, buddy. Can you wait for me over there with your sister?" the little boy nods and held his sister's hand to go to the side.

"I haven't seen you since…"

"The engagement." William finishes for him.

"My engagement with Addison." Derek said.

"You don't have to boast Shepherd. Knowing what happened between the two of you. I wouldn't boast." William smirked. Derek's jaw clenched.

"Now if you'll excuse me. Me and my kids are late."

William turned away from Derek. "Let's go kids, mommy is waiting." he carried them.

"Bye mither." "Bye mister." The two little kids waved him goodbye.