It's Friday I'm in Love

A week has gone by after Frost's funeral. The sound of the bagpipe music and Frost's mom sobbing, still playing in Maura's mind. It still doesn't feel real. He'll never come to ask her for advice or compliment her outfit for the day. She misses his smile brightening up a dull day.

No matter how hard the doctor tried, she couldn't seem to get the image of Jane covered in blood, looking so vulnerable and lost standing in her door, out of her head. It played over and over again like a broken record.

What bothered her most is that she has hardly spoken to the detective since she told her that she was in love with her. She did say those words, didn't she? I wasn't just hearing what I wanted to hear? She asks herself at least 20 times a day.

This should be the happiest time for them but things couldn't be more uncertain, dark, and full of tears. At least for her. Jane hasn't returned her texts or calls after Cavenagh made her take time off. She had an outburst after someone tried to put the blue guy on his desk in a drawer. It makes some people sad to look at.

Jane however couldn't stop looking at it. Maura would bring her coffee, and catch her just staring at it. Almost like it was her way of keeping him alive, the pain and grief was her only connection to him now and she just couldn't seem to let that go. Or she would have to let him go too.

She misses her. She drove to Jane's apartment at least 4 times this week but couldn't bring herself to go up. Jane didn't want anyone there. She kicked Angela out after 5 minutes. It has to come from her. She has to reach out, she knows Maura is there for her when she needs her and of that the doctor is certain.

It's 1:30 am and Maura stirs awake. The sound of a rather pitchy singer wakes her. She goes to the window to see Jane on her lawn, cell phone in hand blasting Friday I'm in love. The detective always did love The Cure, one of her favorite bands.

"I don't care if Monday's b-blueeee. Tuesday's greeeyy and Wednesday toooo. Ttthhursday I don't care bout you… It's Friday I'M IN LOVE!...-" "Jane! What are you doing?" " Monday you could fall apart. Tuesday Wednesday break my heart, oh Thursday doesn't eeeven start ITS FRIDAY IM IN LOVE-"

"- Jane shss" Maura tries to whisper-yell. Her neighbors are starting to turn on their lights. Jane appears to be intoxicated. "Mondayyy you could hold yourrr headd. Tuesday- Wednesday sstay in bed oh Thursday watch the walls inssstead ITSS FRIDAY IM IN LOVE!"

Jane continues to drunkenly serenade her. Maura can't help but be filled with emotion. Firstly she is just happy to finally see her best friend, after all, that time, even though she is drunk and causing a noise disturbance outside.

Secondly, this is the first romantic gesture that Jane has done for her since things started happening between them if, you exclude yelling at the top of her lungs into an empty Opera house that she is in love with her. Lastly, she can't help but feel sorrowful at the subtle sound of hurt lining the detective's voice.

Maura made her way to the front door just in time for the end of the song. If she's really honest with herself, she actually enjoyed being serenaded by Jane. Despite her obvious frustration with her for staying away for so long then showing up drunk and putting on a show, she couldn't help but smile a sly smile as she opens the door. Then she returns her expression to an unimpressed one, ready to put Jane in her place.

"Jane, it is the middle of the night. Are you intoxicated?" Maura asks motioning for the swaying and smiling detective to come inside. To her frustration, she stays put on the lawn. Her voice is nearly gone. "Is itt? I hadn't noticed… the mooon rright there really gave it away h-huh"Jane says, looking at the moon.

Even drunk, she is annoyingly sarcastic if not more so. "Jane, come inside please?" Maura pleads as she ties her robe and walks over to Jane onto the lawn.

"I'm thinking of starting a band... You were my first performance- didju like it?-" Jane stops in her tracks right at the door before Maura could answer "I meant evvery word… I got it bad for you Maur-"

"I know Jane, come on. Inside" Jane plumps down on Maura's coach and Maura joins her. "How much did you have to drink?" Jane calculates then holds up two fingers "Glasses?" Jane shakes her head. "Bottles?" Maura tries to ask calmly but she is shocked to see her walking upright at all. "Fuck! Donald" Jane exclaims looking out the window.

"Who is Donald?" Maura asks, trying to see what Jane is looking at "Juts the nicest cab driver ever! He was supposed to see me sweep you off your feet. Dammit, we had it all planned. He's probably still waiting oh no-" "Jane, he's probably long gone. Now stop stalling. Why did you drink so much?... I get that you are heartbroken over what happened and I am in no way judging you, but two bottles Jane?"

Jane gets up from the couch and starts joking to the kitchen and Maura tries to catch up "Jane you are avoiding" "Mman I am sstarving. You got any cheetos? Ooh no, tacos- I could go for a…hmm. Barf, you have nothing but green stuff in here" Jane says with a hick-up as she opens Maura's fridge.

"Sit there, I'll make you something-"

"- I want something that will clog my arteries please"

"Tell me what's going on, Jane" She prompts, placing a pot on the stove. Jane swivels on the kitchen chair at the island table. "I…" Jane looks away and clears her throat. Her voice is cracking.

"I'm a terrible person, Maura." Maura stops cooking and looks at Jane "Survivors guilt?" "It's not just that, but also yes. It should have been me. I was giving her my vest and I should have been quicker so he didn't…" Jane sighs, holding her head. "It's not just that though… I can't stop thinking about you-" "-Me?" Maura asks, slightly confused.

After she basically threw herself at her after Frost died, Jane didn't even so much as text Maura back. "Yes, you. I keep thinking of everything I have wanted to do to you for so long-" "-Jane that doesn't make you a terrible person. I want you too.-" "-It does when your partner just died" Jane says with a sob.

"How fucked up is it that? I just lost my friend and I am obsessing over making love to… well you!" Jane says frustratedly, motioning to Maura. "Jane its-" "- Not right. I thought it would go away after the day he died. As you said, I was in shock. Then it didn't go away. I would have dreams about you. Maura if you only knew half the things I want to do to you…"

Maura's mouth drops open. She could see Jane is really struggling with this. "I feel so guilty because I am supposed to be really sad and I am. I really am devastated and I miss him so much, it hurts all the time" Jane says with tears rolling down her cheeks.

Maura moves closer but Jane puts up her hand defensively, keeping her at arm's length. She hates being seen like this. It's also not how she saw the night going when she was drinking at the bar.

"-But at the same time, I'm so happy that you love me. I feel so guilty I wanna drink until I pass out, then barf… then die-" She says, laying her head on the table. "Ok, that's a little dra" Maura stops herself. "Jane I know what you are feeling is really complex and it's eating away at you, but I promise you it's normal. Human even. You can't help what you feel or when you feel it, right?"

Maura goes to rub her back. Then she holds her in a hug, laying over her. Jane releases a breath. "He knew, you know?"

"Knew what? Who?" Maura asks softly with confusion as she backs away to finish Jane's pasta. "That I really like you" "Frost?!" Maura exclaims in surprise. She couldn't imagine anyone knowing, hell she didn't even know until recently.

Jane sits up with a sly smile as she thinks back to a memory, "Yeah. We were having drinks, all of us after we closed that case, you know the one with the fireman?" Maura thinks for a moment then nods "Hairline skull fracture, blunt force trauma" she says as she recalls her details of the case.

Jane just looks at her with a dazed expression. "Yeah.. anyways. You got up to go to the restroom and I must have stared and he SLAMMED his hand down on the table! I nearly went through the roof!" Jane yells with a smile, eliciting Maura's dimpled smile. Possibly the first one in two weeks.

"And he said: 'When are you gonna get on that already?' I genuinely had no idea he knew how I felt about you. Hell, even I didn't fully understand it at the time. But he did. And he was rooting for us. He didn't tease me about it or anything. He just said: Life is too damn short Jane"

Jane says as her smile fades. Maura listened intently as she placed a bowl of pasta with sliced sausage and ragu sauce in front of Jane. "I miss him" she says as she takes a seat next to Jane. "Me too. He would have been so happy for me. For us"

Jane says looking at Maura with a little doubt mixed with fear in her eyes, like she is afraid she messed things up. Maura takes her hand and kisses the back of her scar "I like to think so" Maura says warmly.

Jane smiles a bright smile. She moves her gaze to the food in front of her and the smile grows even bigger. "God, I love you." she says as she takes a big mouth full of pasta into her mouth. Maura just giggles.

"This is all I wanted at the bar… that and you" "Yes. Tell me how you came to be on my front lawn, singing at the top of your lungs at one in the morning?" Jane stares in the distance like she's trying to recall her night.

"Well… I started drinking as you know, because of the guilt. Then I started feeling even more guilty for going awol on you. So I decided to come to serenade you, you know cause that was gonna fix everything" Jane says as she is starting to sober up, drunk Jane can be a mystery even to her sometimes.

"I just remember thinking that coming to you and telling you I am in love with you, again, would make everything better. I was pretty wasted in my d-" "-It did Jane. Well, not everything. But I am really glad you are here, now" Maura says, holding her hand out for Jane to take.

"I called a cab. That's when I met Donald. I told him about you. About everything really. It was actually his idea to sing outside your window. The song choice was mine of course. I saw it going down differently though"

Jane says as she pushes the empty bowl away. "Different how?" Jane laughs lightly at the silliness of it all now. She didn't drink to that point often but when she did she could come up with some pretty dumb stuff. "I saw it… ending with a kiss at the very least. Hell Donald told me to carry you in bridal style"

Maura laughs. "Oh, Jane. All you have to do… is kiss me…if that's what you want". Jane smiles. This woman will be the end of her…

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Next chapter is already on its way and get ready for some heavy lovin! If that's not your scene then maybe skip over those parts ;) Reviews please! And sorry for the roller coaster, I just felt like Jane didn't make a move for sooo long that it was gonna take a force of nature to get her moving in the right direction.