Couples Retreat:
Jane and Maura exit the car and walk into the lodge. The drive was even longer than expected and the sun is setting rapidly. "Gah, what is that smell?" Jane asks while wafting dramatically. "Alpine and diaphoresis" Maura says annoyedly. "Care to clarify?" Jane asks frustratedly. "Nope" Maura hisses as they come to a standstill at the front desk.
"Are you trying to drive me crazy?!" Jane exclaims a little louder than she meant. "No, are you gonna keep trying to pretend like everything is fine? Because it's not!" The man at the front desk looks at them with wide eyes.
"Looks like you two came to the right place. We have a group couples counseling tomorrow morning at 8. May I have the names that you made the reservation with.?" "That won't be necessary I just need to speak to Mathew Moore, who goes by Sensei Mata" Jane says leaning away from Maura and trying to remain polite and in control despite her foul mood.
"Oh I'm afraid Sensei Mata won't be joining until tomorrow, you can speak with him then." Jane sighs frustratedly. "Where is he?" Jane asks a little more demanding. "I'm not at liberty to disclose that with you" Jane slams her badge on the table making the short man jump in surprise. "You feeling at liberty now?" "Jane!" Maura warns.
"He's in Colorado. His flight is tomorrow at 10" Jane starts turning around to look at Maura. "Let's go get your water samples" Jane says between clenched teeth. The clerk heard her and looks suspiciously at the two women.
"She collects them for every one of her trips" Jane says subtly circling her finger to the side of her head so Maura can't see. "Very mature" Maura breaths out as she turns on her heel and storms out. "Is that sarcasm I detect?" Jane asks with a high-pitched voice.
"God they need therapy even more than the other crazy couples here." The guy says to himself as they leave.
"Maura hold up! If we leave now that minion in there is gonna tip Mathew off and he might flee the country. The best way to go about this would be to stay and attend the retreat until he gets here tomorrow"
"How? You probably have to book a slot in advance. Besides I came for the water samples, I do not need to stay here with you any longer than it takes for me to do that" Maura says crossing her arms.
"You're really gonna let a killer go free because you can't stand to be around me that much? Wow!" Maura breaks eye contact at Jane's accusatory tone. "I can call Nina maybe she can do something to get us booked"
"Fine" "Swell!" Jane takes out her phone to call Nina.
A few moments later the two women walk back inside towards the front desk with fake smiles plastered on their faces. "Oh great it's you again, come to show me your gun too?" Jane smiles and rests her arms on the counter. "No. I'm off duty actually. Sorry about the whole thing earlier. Between you and me, me and the Mrs aren't doing too well-" Maura rolls her eyes as she overhears Jane.
"I heard Sensei Mata is the best so if anyone can help turn the old ball and chain into something a little more… agreeable, it's him" She says with a wink. "Hey!" Maura protests with a furious look. "See what I mean?" Jane says nudging her head toward Maura. The clerk just smiles a tight lip smile and nods.
They give him the confirmation code that Nina managed to get for them and get their room key and name tags. The man bends down and places two bags in front of them. "Here is your Belflava wear. We like to create a neutral and equal environment to encourage the healing process."
"Hmm… and sterile pajamas and belfloofa flip flops are gonna do that?" Jane asks as she removes the lime green matching attire in disgust. "It signifies unity and modesty to wear these Jane." Maura says matter of factly "It looks like a radioactive booger… with the added benefit of being visible from space ugh no!-" Janse says as she discovers the footwear is in fact not flip flops.
"When did we go from making fun of crocs to wearing them?!- I can't-" "-Namaste thank you very much. Jane, let's go" Maura says pulling the detective towards the walkway leading to the rooms.
The rooms are all outside and spread out into the forest bungalow-style, connected to a wooded walkway. Lanterns lighting the way. It's past 9 and they decide to get to bed asap so as not to spend another waking minute with one another. They get to their room and Jane throws her 'goody bag' on the bed. "Who goes to Colorado after killing someone only to come back to the same city? He must be really confident that he's gonna get away with this..." Jane says mostly to herself in thought.
Maura ignores her and heads for the shower. "I'm sleeping in the nude tonight seeing as I have no pajamas and the only set of clothes they gave us, I have to wear tomorrow," Maura says with finality. Jane just nods, not wanting to upset her any further.
Maura comes out of the shower wearing a comfy white robe and slippers. Her anger hasn't subsided but she is feeling refreshed and ready to block Jane out and get some reading done on her tablet about the latest pathology equipment in The Journal of Science and Medicine.
Jane takes a shower as well and comes back to the bed and plops her clothes on the floor. Maura exhales loudly but says nothing.
The room is very earthy. Cabin-like and rugged. There's one tall dresser that nearly reaches the ceiling by Jane's side of the bed, an ugly rug in the middle of the floor, and a giant bed in the main room. Jane's heart starts to beat rapidly as she faces an entire night sleeping next to a naked Maura Isles.
Jane moves to pull the covers when she sees something moving in the corner of her eye. "Fuck no!" Jane yells as she sees a big ass spider on her nightstand. "Oh my god Jane, how on earth did you manage to get up there so fast?" Maura asks in disbelief as she sees the detective on all fours on top of the dresser, her head touching the ceiling.
"Truce truce truce! Maura kill it!" Maura gets out of bed and puts on her robe, Jane is much too panicked to even register that Maura's bare ass was on plain view for a few moments. "Why it's just a Lycosidae. That's greek for wolf. It's a harmless Wolf spider."
"Double fuck! Get it" Jane says with a higher pitch in her voice than usual. Maura giggles uncontrollably. "Don't laugh, this isn't funny Maura" Maura stiffens her chuckle barely. "It is a little funny. Jane are you… an arachnophobic? How have I never known this about you?" Maura asks calmly as if a massive spider is not making its way leisurely onto the bed.
"I am not afraid, I just don't cohabitate... well with them. Big difference." Jane says, not taking her eyes of the 8 legged intruder. "Well, I'm not going to kill it Jane." Maura says as she calmly takes a magazine from her nightstand and scoops up the spider. It's slightly smaller than the doctor's hand.
"See?" Maura says holding up the magazine with it sitting squarely on it. "One of the largest wolf spider species that exists in Massachusetts. Rabid wolf spiders are named for their aggressive demeanor toward their prey and even toward humans, this species is known for intimidating humans with threatening bodily displays like this one-"
Jane's entire body squirms at Maura's words and the sight. "Gah! Ok, I get it, truly marvelous creature their Charlotte, now take it outside where it can continue to catch small animals, thank youuuuu" Jane places her head in her hands and waits for Muara's return.
"You can come down now, Jane" Maura says with a chuckle "Um yeah I have a pretty good view from up here so I can help while you look everywhere, he may have relatives…" Jane says in all seriousness.
Maura starts giggling deliciously at the dramatic detective who is usually much braver. She so wants to tease Jane about it or have her stay up there a while longer but it's been a really long day and they both could use the sleep.
"Alright. Let's see in here. No. maybe behind here...no" Maura continues to look over every inch of the room like a parent showing a child that there is no monster. Jane manages to get down from the dresser and stares up at it in amazement. How did I get up there? So quickly too, sheesh. Jane thinks as she gets in bed. She stares at the ceiling as Maura once again removes her robe and gets in bed.
She could sleep with it on? Jane asks herself. But Maura does usually sleep in the nude and only puts on pj's when Jane is over for her comfort. Guess Maura is no longer concerned with Jane's comfort?
"Thank you" Jane says just above a whisper. "Your welcome, I never pegged you as the type though" Maura says unapologetically as she switches on her tablet once more. The covers over her breasts and her arms on top.
"Yeah. It's a pretty well-kept secrete… I'd like to keep it that way" Jane asks at Maura's mercy. She's pestered her all day, pushing her to her limit as have Maura with Jane. Now Jane is feeling slightly vulnerable.
"I'm a vault." Maura assures. Jane smiles a relieved smile. Maura turns off her tablet and turns to look at Jane. "Jane?"
"Yeah?" "Why did you shut me out?" Jane grips the sheets involuntarily. There it is again. Forest Gump clocking in to take me through all 50 states, Jane thinks to herself. "Maura" Jane huffs. "Can we just get some sleep-" "-No! I have been nothing but patient and yet I am sure that if it weren't the middle of the night and we weren't on a case, you would leave through that door right now." Silence.
"Am I wrong?" Jane brings her hands to her face and muffles a grunt before answering. "No. you're right. You happy?" Her heart is pounding as if she's actually sprinting.
"Am I happy?!" Maura asks in disbelief as she turns and props herself up on her elbow. "I am the farthest thing from happy right now. God! Why do you keep making me so angry?! Are you self-sabotaging, is that it? Just tell me what you're thinking so I can help, Jane"
"That's the point, you cant help me. I'm fucked up!" Jane yells, she's suddenly quite happy for the distance between the rooms. It is a couples retreat, after all, these people thought of everything.
She got herself into this. They've been at each other's throats all day and Maura wants answers. Real answers. Jane's palms start to sweat and she can't hold Maura's gaze.
"Try me. Say something, Jane. Do something so I at least know what's going on!-" Jane moves in and kisses Maura deeply, silencing her. Maura breaks away and the covers on her chest are rising and falling rapidly with every breath.
"God… Jane, you're avoiding- this oh… isn't" Maura says between kisses, Jane makes her way down Maura's neck sending tingles up and down her spine. Jane quickly removes her robe, needing to feel Maura's warm body against hers.
Maura lets out a moan as she feels Jane's breasts against hers. "Ah, Jane!… we shouldn't. I'm angry with you…" "I know I'm sorry-" "-No!" Maura yells out before flipping them over and topping Jane, eliciting a gasp from her.
"What do you mea-" Maura places her finger over Jane's lips. "You don't get to put me through all that and then just apologize now. I want a conversation. A real conversation, I deserve that much, don't you think?" Jane nods her head slowly. Maura's finger is still on her lips.
Maura is straddling Jane, her bare breasts on display, suspended above her. She could feel Maura's wetness pooling on her torso and it's sending a ripple effect throughout her body. "You were rude to me all day, Jane. I think it's time I got level"...
"Even, Maura. The expression is getting even" Jane says as she reaches for Maura's breasts just asking to be touched. But Maura pushes Janes wrists above her head eliciting a moan from her. "I think tonight, I want to make you feel just as frustrated as I have been" Maura says in a lower tone as she bends down to lick along Jane's jawline.
Jane's eyes go wide, her chest is heaving uncontrollably. "You brought this on yourself…" Maura breathes out as she starts grinding her soaking core into Jane. she could feel Maura's thighs squeezing her sides, her breasts hanging almost low enough to take n her mouth as Maura holds Jane's wrists firmly above her head. She could feel Maura all around her but she can't touch her.
"Fuck, Maur" Jane breaths out as she feels her own wetness pooling on the sheet below her. "Language" Maura scolds genuinely as she grinds on top of Jane. Maura can't help the faint moans escaping her lips as she feels her climax approaching.
She places both Jane's hands under one of her own to bring her free hand to her heated core. She moaned loudly as she pushed two fingers inside herself. Jane's arousal shot into overdrive as she heard Maura and felt her body jerk on top of her.
Jane can't believe it but she could feel her climax approaching with no stimulation at all. "Oh god, Jane!" Maura cried out as she feels her orgasm approaching fast. Jane is right on the edge as she hears her name on Maura's lips and her body moving in rhythm on top of her. "Ah! Ah, Jane!" Maura yelled as she fell over the edge. Her body goes stiff at first then jerks rapidly as she feels her walls convulse around her own fingers. Jane follows soon after, her toes curl and she breaths out "Maura... Ah"
Both women are panting. A layer of sweat covered their naked bodies. Maura is hanging onto the headboard. Her hair tickles Jane's face but she doesn't care. Maura removes her fingers and licks them off one by one but not before teasing Jane a little before doing so. Playing with her own wetness and not giving Jane a taste.
"What're you doing to me, Maura?" Jane asks in amazement. "The same thing you've been doing to me only, physical. This way I at least get a release and judging by your flushness and more relaxed state, I'd say it wasn't all torture for you was it?" Maura asks with a raised brow and a smirk. Jane swallows. "I've never done that before. Without doing anything I mean."
Maura moves off of Jane and she instantly hates the feeling of not having Maura pressed against her anymore. "The brain is a powerful organ. Good night Jane" Maura says simply as she turns on her side away from Jane and turns out her lamp.
"Night" Jane says, sadness lacing her voice. What the actual f was that!? Jane yells internally as her mind tries to comprehend what happened. Of course, she deserves it but not being able to even hold Maura after that, is pure agony. Unless…
"Maura?" "You're not going to get to touch me until we have that conversation, Jane, and we are not having it now, it's much too late and I am quite exhausted after that orgasm. Is that what you were going to ask?"
Jane looks longingly at Maura's silhouette in the darkness "Yeah" she breathes out.
The next morning Jane wakes up alone, naked. Maura comes out of the bathroom fully clothed and considering she only had her purse with a few items of makeup and a small foldable brush, she looks absolutely breathtaking.
"Come on Jane, we have 15 minutes before the session starts." Jane grunts and buries her head under a pillow. "I'm not going to that. Moore's plane doesn't land until one"
Maura sighs loudly. "You are coming to that session with me, Jane, even if I have to drag you there myself" Maura says as she grabs the pillow and throws it across the room. "Don't make me pull the covers off you too. Don't test me" Maura says warningly and if the past few days have been any indicator Jane has about 5 seconds to make her move.
"Ok ok sheesh!" Jane says as she sits up. "At least you got some last night, so I don't know why you're so moody this morning" Jane says with sleep lacing her voice. It always did make the doctor a little weak at the knees.
"Maybe she discovered something about this place that she wasn't supposed to know and he killed her for it?" Jane says as they walk side by side back toward the main building, wearing their lime green outfits and crocs. "I saw a gift shop yesterday when we came in." Maura says simply.
"When I talk, do you hear: bla bla bla, Maura, bla bla bla?" Maura halts and turns to look at Jane just as they came into view of the other couples.
"First of all, you know how I feel about sentences starting with maybe. What I do is a scientific process so you do not guess, leap to conclusions, speculate, theorize, wonder, or tell me about your gut, am I clear? Secondly, you insisted we stay here having brought no overnight things and I have no intention of brushing my teeth with my finger." Maura says as she makes her way to the gift shop, leaving Jane dumbstruck at Maura's rage.
The other guests stare at the duo and talk amongst themselves. "Alright, nothing to see here. She's just cranky cause UPS lost her shoes again." Jane says to the small crowd, trying to deflect their judgy stares.
The couples sit in a circle on the floor. Maura is staring straight ahead. Jane swallows audibly, not sure of what the doctor may do next. I have to just be honest with her. She deserves that much and so much more. Why is almost every cell in my body telling me to close off and run? God, I'm screwed up. Nice going Rizzoli, ya screwed up while trying really hard not to screw up. Jane thinks to herself as she looks down at her crocs.
"-Julie? Julie? It's your turn" Sandy, the therapist says looking at Jane. Maura elbows the zoned-out detective and moves her eyes down to Jane's name tag. Nina had to get them reservations under aliases. "Sorry what?" Jane says looking up confused, she hadn't even noticed they'd started talking. "See? She doesn't listen" Maura says looking at the man in the middle of the circle sitting on his legs, holding a clipboard.
"Julie, why don't you tell me why you're here? Is there maybe something you and your partner are struggling with? Were all here because we are having trouble in some aspect of our relationships. This is a safe space" he says with a warm reassuring smile.
Jane clears her throat and looks at the circle of people looking back at her. Everyone except Maura. This is so stupid she thinks. I should be working this case not sitting in a circle talking about my feelings with people wearing- those. Jane thinks.
But then something strange happens. These are all strangers shell likely never see again and the one person who needs to hear what she has to say is right there, albeit not even looking at her, but she's still there. She hasn't lost Maura for good. But she knows she will if she doesn't start opening up. Here goes nothin Jane thinks.
"I..um. Hello… everyone" Jane says shyly, the group greets her warmly in chorus. "I screwed up." Jane says looking at Maura, the blonde just looks at the therapist. "I've been in love with the most incredible person I've ever met, for a long time. And when I finally had her…I didn't allow myself to believe that she would really want to be with me. I mean you guys would understand when you meet her" Jane says with a little laugh.
The group smiles and listens intently as Jane continues. Maura looks down at her fidgeting hands modestly.
"She's beautiful, genuine, kind… and the smartest person in this room- no offense. She's sexy, without even trying... And I barely felt good enough to even be her best friend… I hurt her. And I regret that the most… I'm so sorry with everything in me and I want to do everything I can for the rest of my life to make it up to her." Maura lets out a breath and shuts her eyes subtly.
"I was so in my own head, trying to figure out why she would want to be with me when she could have anyone she so desires. And on top of it all, I was really nervous at the fact that…" Jane hesitates.
"We would make love...soon. I've thought about it so many times but I've never actually been with a woman or even been attracted to one before." Maura takes a quick intake of air as she thinks about what Jane must have been going through. "The thought of not being enough for her.. in that way… scared me shitless. Pardon my french." The group chuckles. "So yeah, as she would say, I've been avoiding, deflecting with humor… and it's probably cost me…" Jane's voice cracks slightly as she fights back her tears. "... the most precious thing in my life" Maura looks at Jane.
"Wow," Sandy says. "I take it the young woman to your left is the woman you were describing?" He asks with a warm smile, squinting as he tries to read Maura's name tag. "Dorothy. How does hearing that, make you feel?"
Maura quickly wipes a stray tear and sits upright. "I feel… that she needs to start seeing herself as I see her. Because she's just about the most wonderful woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. She's fierce, kind, pure of heart, she always manages to make me laugh even though I feel like crying" Maura says with a chuckle and a stray tear rolling down her cheek.
"I never had a best friend growing up so having her as my best friend is truly remarkable. I too felt unworthy to be her best friend let alone her significant other."
"I was so angry because I was grieving… Grieving the loss of our friendship worse than any loved one I've ever lost. I tried to hold on to the anger because according to the 5 stages of grief, acceptance is the last stage. I couldn't bear to accept that I'd lost my soul mate. I've never loved anyone more deeply and wholeheartedly than I've loved her. I know I would never find that again once I've lost her. So I hope…" Maura says looking at Jane once more.
"That I haven't lost her completely… and that she believes me when I tell her... I choose you. I love you... You are whom I want to wake up to and fall asleep to…you are more than enough… indefinitely." Maura says with tears of joy running down her face.
Jane cannot take the distance any longer and the room filled with strangers might as well be orniments because Jane pulls Maura closer and captures her lips in a fiery kiss. The room fills with applause and cheering.
Penny for your thoughts? I actually wanted to have them still be angry for one more roll in the hay but the chapter was getting a bit lengthy.