Summary:
Izuku's life doesn't end on a roof top, but maybe it does start on one. The world can be cruel, and yet it can also be forgiving, but ultimately it is more so blind than it is all knowing.
Beginning Notes:
This fic has been a major passion project for me and it's wonderful to see so many people viewing and commenting on the first chapter. I've got roughly two other chapters already written and plan to do more over the course of the next few weeks.
I'll talk about more plans for development in the end notes but anyway, hope you all enjoy and thanks so much for the support! It makes me so happy that people find this idea enjoyable. Though, it may get crazy as time goes on.
Sasaki's eyes flashed open, thoughts and worries all returning as he awoke to the endless void that surrounded him. Where was he? He questioned as he tried to find some glimmer of hope within the void-less expanse.
His hands twitched like they always did, trying to pull upon the strings of life. ' I'm dead! ' He seemed to yell at himself, he'd done it…
He'd really taken his own life, done what he should have done many years prior but why was he here of all places. The endless expanse of nothingness couldn't be the final stop, the only place left once death greeted him?
Izuku's hand twitched faster and faster, his own mind unknowing of what they were doing, two separate paths running together but never intersecting.
'What now?' He asked the world of nothingness, what possibly was there to be done here? Why was he here now with nothing but black nothingness floating around him.
Then as his own thoughts seem to darken, to understand the act he'd just committed. Color and visions once again graced his mind. 'Fa-fast, can't pick… TOO MUCH INFORMATION!' He yelled into the nothingness.
All of his reactions and other reactions seemed to flash by in an instant. Different people finding him atop the roof or conversations with different police officers about the incident in which he'd been involved in moments prior. The sludge monster attacking him once more, over and over again.
Then as mem-visions? Continued to come, continued to flash through his mind. His hands stopped, pulling the strings of fate as they'd done so many times prior.
Color once again began to fade back into his life. The buildings, people, and objects all regained color slowly but surely as he still stood at the very edge of death. His two feet still only inches from going over the edge.
Then the smells and sounds of the city filter in. People talking, birds chirping, and car honking all in unison. It's almost too much for Izuku to take in, everything just in unison coming together to frighten and shock the boy.
'I died! How am I- '
"Stop!" White cloth wraps around the boy's torso as he's yanked from the edge of the building.
Izuku's world seemed to dilate instantly as everything clicked together. He was back, he was alive and now he'd been dragged from the edge of death?
Why hadn't they shown up earlier, why hadn't they saved him?
Who thought he was worth saving?
"*AHhh- You're alright kid, you're safe. What were you thinking? " The man seemed to instantly panic as he held the boy tight to his frame. He'd seen the boy from the streets right after he'd gotten out of the cafe and knew something wasn't right.
"Huh?" The boy asked, far too disconnected from the events around him to even answer the man.
"Hey, kid you're alright. Why were you up here?" The man asked again, with as little harshness as he could muster. He didn't mean to scare the boy or traumatize him even more, he just wanted to know the thought process behind such a thing.
'Hizashi is so much better with kids, why couldn't he find thi-this child.'
"Wher-where is here? " Izuku asked, his voice wavering as his mind tried to process how he was in fact here. How was he even alive, how was that even possible. He'd defied logic, pulled upon the very fabric of life, and pulled himself back.
"We're on top of a building, you were on the edge Kid, breathe with me, in, hold, out-" The boy followed the man's voice, breathing in and out to control what little he could. His heart rate slowing as he did so, finally he looked up to find a scruffy hobo?
Izuku wasn't sure who this man was and why was he so tired?
"That's better, just follow my breath kid. Are you alright, you don't have to be okay, nor anything like that. But are you physically alright? You're not hurt or bleeding, or anything like that?" He was terrible with children, why couldn't his husband be here instead.
"Yea-I'm-I'm fine. Thank you, I just- " Izuku's words stopped, he couldn't speak, couldn't even begin to think of what he'd just done. Never-never in his life had he ever thought that his life would end in the way it did.
'Did it end? What is this then?' He questioned, his life had just ended but what was this new state, he wasn't dead, but he'd also died? What does one even call that sort of situation?
"Kid please, just breathe." The black cloaked man once again tried to reaffirm the boy, he just needed to calm down! But the hobo just couldn't say that, telling someone to calm down just made it worse!
Then as the boy finally began to calm down fully, he jolted from the man's arms. Escaping out of the clutches of the man who'd tried to save him. 'Not again, don't you dare!'
"I'm sorry to have troubled you sir. I'll get out of your way, um-thanks for pulling me back from the edge. I wasn't going to-to"
"To jump?"
"Ye-yea, I'm sorry I caused you such worry. I'll get out of the way." ' Worthless, inconveniencing others! ' His mind screamed, but Izuku shoved those thoughts back, and made for the building's exit.
"No, wait!" The man reached out, trying to stop the boy from exiting the building. He couldn't get away, the kid needed help, needed to be taken home.
"Huh?" Izuku asked, looking up from where his face had been firmly looking towards the ground, never having fully taken in the man before him.
"Kid, please you need help. You can't just think about-about taking your own life and then walking off." The boy's head tilted slightly as he looked at the man. He wanted to help?
"Let me walk you home or let me call your guardian." He wanted to-needed to make sure the boy got home. Then, just maybe, he could sleep at night knowing this poor boy wanted to do such a horrible thing.
Out of the blue, Izuku once again felt his hands move, pulling upon the strings of life.
"Do you think I could be a hero, even with a quirk that doesn't save people's lives?" Izuku asked, his white eyes piercing through the man's heart. He needed to know, did anyone believe that he could be a hero, or was his mother lying to him?
"A-a quirk doesn't matter , so long as you yourself believe that you can save others. Then yes, I think you could be a hero." The black clad man answered, telling what he himself wholeheartedly believed.
"Thank you Eraserhead sir." Izuku smiled softly as he once again took in the underground hero. The man hadn't saved his life, but maybe he had started it.
"Kid, before you go. If you ever feel as if somethings wrong. If you ever and I mean ever have any doubt and think that things are- that you want to kill yourself. Please, call me. I'll answer, I promise, any time, any day." Eraserhead passed a small card to the boy, which he quickly pocketed.
"Get home safely. " The man nearly demanded of the boy, and all Izuku could do was nod. Izuku would try to get home safely but it would have varying levels of success.
As the boy made his way down the staircase, a loud explosion sounded in the distance. Izuku didn't know why, couldn't begin to figure out why. But he ran forwards, his legs carrying his body as fast as they could.
Smoke rose in the distance as Izuku ran through the city streets, trying to get closer to whatever threat had come forth. Smoke continued to rise as the boy ran down street after street. Several people ran in the opposite direction while Mount Lady tried her best to make it through the dense afternoon traffic.
Finally, as Izuku's legs felt as if they couldn't carry him any further. The scene came within view, before him stood the very creature that'd nearly taken his own life minutes prior. ' How did he escape!?'
Then as the boy looked closer, he was met with the eyes of his once best friend. ' Kacchan! '
The young boy didn't know what to do, the pros were complaining that their quirks weren't suited to such a thing. And buildings were burning as the sludge villain laughed more and more about how perfect his new skin suit was.
The blond did everything in his power to resist, to fight the monster that was trying to kill him. But as Izuku looked on, their eyes met. Fear, that's the only thing Izuku could see within the blond's eyes.
His once friend was scared for his own life, but what could Izuku do? He didn't have any real power; his uncle didn't even believe he could be a hero. How-how could he ever save someone?
But as the boy's mind tried to process how he could even save his best friend. His own body was already in motion, his fingers moving on their own as they tried to find the best possible future. His legs rushed forward, and his arms reached upwards.
"I need to save him! " He nearly yelled out, rushing through the street of fire towards the sludge creature. Izuku dodge ever blow, and pulled his yellow backpack from his shoulder, throwing it as best he could.
"Kacchan, give me your hand!" Izuku called out to the blond, who'd done his best to follow the order. His own hand trying to reach out for Izuku's. But, just as there hands nearly connected, Izuku's body was thrown backwards.
"Not you again!" The sludge villain yelled as it tried to attack the boy once more, his long tendrils slashed at the boy's form. But, as all hope looked lost, as both friends feared that they'd be killed by the monster.
"I really am Pathetic young man, I told you the traits that make a hero. But I see now that I wasn't living up to my own ideal. Heroes are always risking their lives, that's the true path of a hero!" All Might's hand caught hold of the tendril that'd nearly hit Izuku.
"Damn you All Might!"
All Might reared his fist back once more, blood slowly falling from his teeth as he wound back. "Detroit MASH!"
The Sludge villains form was blown away, scattered amongst the damaged street. The blond was set free of the villain's hold and as the gust from All Might's smash was sent upwards it began to rain.
Everyone had survived the fateful incident, and soon both boys were allowed to leave. But one was praised for his bravery while the other was scorned for his brazen attempt to save another.
Izuku paid no mind to the hero's as they yelled at him, it wasn't anything new to him. Everyone thought he was less , that he wasn't worth the space in which he inhabited. Even the hobo who'd saved him hadn't likely thought much of him.
Thought that he was just another suicidal kid who'd be a lot of paperwork if he'd died on their watch.
Izuku found himself walking home, as the sun began to set, taking a different route than the one that Katsuki took. He didn't wish to bother the boy after their earlier interactions . He knew the Bakugo's likely weren't happy with his actions earlier either.
Uncle Masaru would likely have watched the news by now and have seen everything that's gone on. He hoped Aunt Mitsuki wouldn't be too angry with him, though he was sure she'd also be quite pissed.
As Izuku looked off into the setting sun, he allowed himself to consider giving up. 'A t least I tried.' He couldn't be a hero; everyone had said so and today had only proven that.
But before the boy could once again spiral into a depressed state something interrupted his thoughts.
"I am here!"
"All Might!?" Izuku yelped as he nearly jumped back.
"That is cor-rect!" Blood spewed from the blond's mouth as his form once more shrunk down to that of a feeble man.
"Young man, I came here to thank you but to also discuss your question from earlier. I-if you hadn't rushed in to save that boy- I would have been a worthless bystander watching from the crowd, so thanks."
"Oh no, I'm sorry , I wasted your time Sir. If I hadn't gotten in the way you'd have still had your -"
All Might cut the boy short. "I'm not done, you told me you didn't have any real power. So, when I saw this timid weak boy, try to run in and save a life. It inspired me to act. There are stories about every hero, how they became great. Most have one thing in common, their bodies moved before they had a chance to think, almost on their own." Tears glimmered in the boy's eyes as he looked up to his hero, uncle, and inspiration.
All Might was the boy's everything, what his father had strived to be like, what Kacchan looked up to, and what everyone in the world wanted to be. And while Izuku knew the man hadn't believed in him, hadn't seen him for what he was worth at the time.
He admitted that he was inspired by Izuku's own actions. That he helped to save a life, Izuku couldn't help but smile.
"Young man, you too can become a hero." Tears didn't well within the boy's eyes, and his mouth didn't tremble as he looked up to his hero. There'd already been enough sobs, enough heartbreak in his life to offset the good. But a glimmer of hope did fall upon the boy and he embraced the warmth of that dream.
"This is why I believe you are worthy of inheriting my quirk, young man!"
Izuku's ever white eyes snapped upwards to his idol once more. "Qu-quirk?"
"Listen well young man , this is your choice. Do you wish to inherit my power, my ability to further your dream of becoming a hero." All Might nearly yelled to the boy.
'Wha-what is he talking about? Quirk, inheriting?'
"My quirk has always been speculated upon, people have always tried to guess what my quirk is. However, none have ever figured it out. I wasn't born with this power, it's a scared torch passed on from one holder to the next" The man continued on trying to explain why exactly he believed the boy was the correct choice.
As the man continued on, Izuku's quirk once more lit with knowledge. Trying to select once again what was the best path to take, what would be most beneficial to its user.
"My quirk is known as One for All"
"One for All?" Izuku questioned, as light grew from the blond's hands.
"One person improves the power, and then hands it off to another person, and it continues to grow as it is passed on from person to person. It is this cultivated power that allows me to save those who are in need of a hero." All Might's hand once again closes, and the shining light once more extinguishes.
"Wh-why would you give me such a power? Why am I worthy of inheriting it from you. Wh-what if I can't live up to it. "
"Young man, I've been on the hunt for a successor for a very long time. You were willing to jump into action to save another while others stood still unable to act. You are what a hero should be, someone who puts others above themself."
Izuku's hands finally came to a rest, a choice had been made and yet even he himself didn't know the answer until his hero asked if he truly wished to inherit such a power.
"Okay, I'll do it! I accept! "
"AH! That's the spirt young man… Um-what is your name boy?" All Might's buff form only lasted for a few moments before once again shirking down into the hollow form he truly was.
"Izu-Izuku Sasaki sir." Teers began to fall from the boys' eyes, would his uncle think less of him for not telling him the truth. Would All Might be angry that he'd not said who he was, that-
"Sa-sasaki?" All Might's arms trembled upwards onto the boys' shoulders, nearly prepared to bring the now frightened boy into his arms.
"Yo- you wouldn't happen to be Mirai's boy, would you?" Then mentor asked with whatever glimmer of hope he had within himself.
"Ye-yes sir, I-I'm staying with one of m-my mother's friends af-after her death. Dad's just so busy and he thought best that I'd stay with them instead." All Might pulled boy as tight as he could to his frame, his nephew, the boy who'd been missing from his life for well over a decade was finally back.
"Sasaki, it is so-so wonderful to see you, my boy." The man couldn't help but hug his nephew, couldn't help it if his own tears fell.
"I need to ask you something, it's been bugging me since you tried to stop that sludge villain." All Might paused, trying to understand why his nephew-
"What is it sir?
"Wh-why is your hair so white Sasaki? It was partially black and green earlier an-and your irises are bright white?" All Might asked as his still trembling hands ruffled through the thick mat of hair.
Izuku didn't know why he'd come back to the rooftop; didn't know why he'd snuck out in the middle of the night. Away from the prying eyes of his aunt and uncle, and away from his best friend turned bully.
Izuku sat at the edge, watching as people walked by, each on their own path to who knew where. But, with a heavy sigh, he'd dialed the number on his phone. He wasn't sure why he'd done so, but something felt right.
"Hey-"
"Who gave you this number?"
"Um, I-it's the person who tr-tried to jump off a building? Earlier this week, you-ah give me your number and said to call any time. Is this a bad time, I-I can call back if it's…" Izuku's mouth clamped shut, he didn't know what to say.
"Where are you?" The man asked, the sound of feet shuffling, and keys being picked up could be heard from the man's end.
"I-I'm back on top of the roof, I just needed some air an-and I thought it'd be best if I called you." Izuku's mouth pried itself open, spewing what little it could once more.
"Alright-sit tight. I'll be there in just a moment kid." The line soon dropped and Izuku was once again left to sit on the rooftop once more on his lonesome.
He'd died , once already and his hair had turned that of near snow white with peppering's of black still clear within them. His irises had turned white, none of the green left within them. And then, All Might had offered his quirk, a sacred torch passed on from one generation to the next.
And yet, all the boy could understand was that he was nothing. No one had believed in him up until he'd stood on the roof of some building and taken his own life. His mother had been the light of his life, but she was gone, and any other adult had failed him, miserably so.
Izuku waited for some time, his arms wrapped around his sides, embracing himself as he tried to stay warm. But his heart was cold, he was supposed to be dead, and yet he was alive and well among the land of the living.
*Creak
The roof entrance soon opened, and a hero clad in all black except for a scarf stood before the boy. A smile nor frown graced the man's hardened exterior but worry seemed evident in his eyes.
The scruffy hero sat down next to Izuku, not close enough to rub shoulders with but close enough to grab hold if something were to happen. He didn't say anything for some time, nor did Izuku.
"Is there anything you need?" The man asked, trying to understand the child in front of him to some degree.
"Why?"
"Why what?" Eraser turned towards Izuku, his harsh dark eyes seeming to pierce through the boy.
"Wh-why did you try to save me?" Izuku asked, hastily in fear of resentment or hostility from the man.
"Why not?" Eraser fired back, why wouldn't he save a child trying to take their own life.
"Because no one other than my own mother has ever cared for me. My best friend blames me for my own mother's death, my father has shunned me and does not speak to me, and I'm forced to live under the same roof as my bull-bully." Izuku's hands shook, unable to determine what path best to follow.
"No child should have to take their own life, no child is useless, worthless, or to blame for the death of something out of their control. My job is to protect people and you needed help."
"It wasn't out of my control though…"
The black clad hero's eyebrow raised, as if to press for why the boy would say such a thing.
"M-my quirk is titled hands of fate. I can pull on the 'strings' of fate and change events for the better or worse. But I wa-was so young, and I-I didn't know how to even see the future, I still can't sometimes. My hands moveonthereownand-I-I could have stopped it. I should have stopped it." Tears well from the boys' eyes as he tried to look at the hero next to him.
"Whoa, hey, hey, it's alright kid. We all make mistakes, and you were young. You couldn't even control your quirk. What happened was and is terrible, but you shouldn't feel horrible for not being able to control the future. You couldn't see it, and that isn't your fault." Every bone in the hero's body wanted to comfort the child next to him, to protect him from the harshness of reality, but he knew he couldn't.
Knew that he shouldn't be counseling a child, that he really shouldn't be taking time away from his patrol. But damn it , this child needed help.
"Tha-thank you, It's just… I don't know what to do. These past 4 years have been really rough, and I just, I couldn't take it anymore. I thought the world would be better off without me and maybe I was right. But I still want to try." Shouta smiled under his capture scarf, this kid really was something else.
"Tha-that's good kid. If you ever need me, give me a call. And, if you just want to talk, text me. I'll be here, okay?" Izuku nodded to the hero before him, maybe he could be a hero or maybe he would fail like everyone thought he would.
"Did you mean it?"
"Mean what?"
"That I could be a hero?"
The smile only grew wider under the man's scarf.
"As long as you yourself believe, then yes I think you can be a hero one day, problem child."
Ending Notes:
So originally my mind was like marie antoinette syndrome go brr, haha funny.
But all jokes aside, I've realized something more interesting that can be done with the idea of death and reincarnation. Izuku can come back from death but as time goes on things get worse. It starts with stress and depression, transforming into that of anxiety, pain, nightmares/visions, and get's worse as trauma gets worse. And, I think logically that makes the most sense, his quirk needs a drawback and for him it would be the deterioration of sanity and the lose of connection.
Secondly I chose the color white for a few reasons, mainly that of its connection to purity and divinity. But also that of nothingness, void of emotion and thought. Izuku is 'drained' of his connections due to death, no longer feeling as if he belongs with or to those who have hurt him over time.
Anyway, hope you all are finding your holiday shopping to be easy, and that there aren't any major delays in shipping. Hope you all enjoy and I may release another chapter either Wednesday or Sunday.
(Edited 1-8-2022 - Aizawa shouldn't be a stuttering mess now? Let me know if it still needs changes, brain went brrt, over protective father and didn't stop to think about hardened pro hero.)