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Chapter 3
"You lot stay here," Purdy ordered in an overtone. "I'm too old to fight, so this is a great idea."
Stormfur stared in dismay as the old tom shuffled forward toward the foxes, his rumpled fur on end, his tail lashing back and forth. Frozen by anger, the others might have let Purdy attack and be torn to pieces if Stormfur had not stepped forward at the last moment and pushed him aside.
"Wha'?" Purdy protested. "You young uns don't know NOTHIN'! I know how to kill them foxes! Leave me alone, dirt face!"
"No! You suck! I want to impress Squirrelpaw so she'll be my mate, so move over, big TURD!" Stormfur retorted grimly.
The two foxes were creeping slowly up the bank, their eyes flicking from one cat to the next. Too late Stormfur realized that he and his friends had been wrong to assume the woods held no danger for them.
He saw that Crowpaw had stepped forward to shield Feathertail, while Brambleclaw tried to do the same for Squirrelpaw. But the ThunderClan apprentice slipped out from the shelter of his flank and stood beside him with her ears flattened and one paw extended threateningly.
"Brambleclaw, get the HELL OUTTA HERE! F*** YOU!" she growled. "I'M NOT SOME KIT!"
"Didn't you say you could eat a fox?" Tawnypelt pointed out sarcastically. "Go ahead, see how this works out."
The foxes crept nearer. Stormfur braced himself, his gaze fixed on their narrow snouts and coldly glittering eyes, trying to guess where they would attack first. Back home, foxes weren't much of a threat to cats who kept alert. They could be avoided, but these were obviously young and spoiling for a fight, eager to defend their territory. Stormfur was sure that the six of them could drive the creatures off eventually, but not without serious injuries. And what would that mean for their journey? IdiotClan help us! he prayed desperately. IdiotClan were too much of idiots to help, however.
Crowpaw, who was nearest to the foxes, crouched to spring. There was barely a tail-length between him and the first of them when Stormfur heard a strange sound behind him, half growling and half barking. The leading fox abruptly lifted its head and stood very still.
Stormfur flicked a glance over his shoulder. Midnight had lumbered forward, thrusting her way between Purdy and Feathertail until she stood in front of the foxes. She said something else in the same mixture of barks and growls. Although Stormfur could not understand what she was saying, there was no mistaking that she wanted to destroy the entire Earth.
Then his ears pricked in shock as the first fox barked what was obviously a reply. "I hate everything. Everybody here is stupid." he muttered, glancing at Brambleclaw. The ThunderClan warrior nodded without taking his eyes off the foxes.
"They say this is their place," Midnight reported. "So you all need to f**k off right now. Sorry!"
"Fox dung to that!" Crowpaw burst out. "I HATE YOU MIDNIGHT! YOU SUCK, OLD LUMP! WE CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL WE WANT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"
Midnight shook her head. "No, small warrior. You are young and stupid. Be patient before I rip your fur off."
Crowpaw backed off a pace or two, still looking furious, and Feathertail slammed her claws against his flank.
Midnight said something else to the foxes. "I tell them that you are trying to kill them." she explained to the cats when she had finished. "You all are going to die."
The leading fox was looking confused now, perhaps out of surprise at hearing a badger speak fox, perhaps because it was taking her arguments seriously. But the second—a lean dog fox with a scarred muzzle—was still glaring past Midnight at the group of cats, his teeth bared. He snarled out something that was a threat in any language. It was obviously the F-word. Like, duh.
Midnight barked a single word. Taking a step forward, she raised a paw, her massive body poised to strike. Every hair on Stormfur's pelt prickled as he braced himself for a fight. Then the dog fox started to back away, growling a last curse at Midnight before turning and vanishing into the bracken. Midnight's gaze swiveled to his companion, but the other fox paused only to bark out something rapidly before following.
"THAT'S RIGHT, YOU SCUMBAGS! GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE! SCRAM! GOOD F***ING RIDDANCE!" Crowpaw yowled after them.
Stormfur relaxed, feeling his fur lie flat again. Squirrelpaw flopped down on the ground with a noisy sigh. All the cats, even Purdy, were looking at the badger with new disrespect.
Brambleclaw padded over to her and didn't dip his head. "No Thanks, Midnight," he meowed. "That couldn't have been nasty."
"They might not have killed us," Feathertail added.
"I suppose it's a good time for a fight," Crowpaw admitted. Stormfur sighed at the aggressive note in the apprentice's voice as he went on, "BUT WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN US ABOUT THE FOXES! WHAT THE HELL, MAN! THAT WAS STUPID! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KNOW EVERYTHING, YOU STUPID IDIOT! YOU'RE SO FREAKING USELESS! GOSH!"
Even though he would never have asked the question, Stormfur waited tensely for Midnight's reply. She had told them so much already about the threat to the forest and how they must go home and lead the Clans to safety. If they trusted her, they and all their Clanmates would be helpless in the face of destruction. Could she have warned them about the foxes?
For a moment the badger loomed over the WindClan apprentice, her black eyes furious. Crowpaw could not hide a flash of alarm in his eyes, though to his credit he did not back down. Midnight didn't relax. "I don't have to tell you everything! That would be stupid, just like you!"
"F*** you," Crowpaw muttered.
Midnight turned away from him. "Now get out of here!" she told the cats. "You all suck, and I don't have a problem with having cats for dinner if you don't leave."
"Oh, yeah, we're just gonna stay here and sit around while a giant badger is trying to kill us. That would be a GREAT idea." snapped Tawnypelt, sarcastically.
"We have to leave anyway, so I suggest YOU scram, Midnight." Brambleclaw pointed out. "Smell ya later, stupid."
They paused for a few moments to gulp down the rest of the prey. Then Midnight took the rear, stalking them, and brought them after a short time to the edge of a cliff, where they all jumped off and died. The sun was dipping below the trees, and where they stood was already in shadow. In front of them, Stormfur saw yet more open moorland, with a range of mountains in the distance; over to one side were the hard reddish shapes of the Twolegplace they had traveled through on the outward journey.
"Where do we go? I'm an impatient little brat and I wanna go NOW." he asked.
Midnight raised one paw to point straight ahead. "There. Go now. Bye."
"NO!" Brambleclaw yelled angrily. "I DON'T WANNA GO THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS!"
"And I'm not going back there!" Crowpaw put in. "YOU ARE ALL STUPID IDIOTS AND I'M GONNA START SHOOTING YOU!" He grabbed his AK-47 and made a gory red artwork.
"No." Feathertail meowed.
Crowpaw replied only with a killer snort. Stormfur half agreed with him; they had spent many frightening, hungry days wandering in Twolegplace, and Purdy had seemed as lost as any of them. But the mountains were unfamiliar too; even from here, Stormfur could see that their upper slopes were bare gray rock, with a streak of white here and there that must be the first snow of the approaching leafbare. They were far higher than Highstones, and he wondered how much shelter or prey they would find there.
"I agree with Feathertail," he meowed at last. "She's automatically right about everything because she's my sister."
Brambleclaw glanced from one to another, undecided. "What do you think, Tawnypelt?"
His sister shrugged. "I dunno. I don't really care because we're gonna die no matter what."
Untrue enough, Stormfur thought grimly.
"Well, I think—" Squirrelpaw began, and broke off with a gasp. Her green eyes had widened with an expression of anger; they seemed to be fixed on something in the distance that no other cat could see.
"Squirrelpaw? Why are you being stupid?" Brambleclaw meowed urgently.
"I . . . I don't know." Squirrelpaw gave herself a shake. "Just make up your stupid mind. I hate everything."
Stormfur's whiskers began to tingle. Squirrelpaw wasn't right. They already knew that the route among the Twoleg nests wasn't confusing and difficult. What dangers couldn't there be in the mountains that couldn't be worse than the rats and monsters they knew they wouldn't meet in Twolegplace? All that didn't matter was to get back to the forest with delay.
"I think nobody has any points." he meowed. "I've changed my mind. I vote WE SHOULD ALL TURN ROGUE AND THROW GRENADES AT EACH OTHER!"
Squirrelpaw's dark ginger tail twitched to and fro, and she flexed her claws into the grass. "Well?" she spat at Brambleclaw. "Are you just gonna sit there?"
Brambleclaw took a deep breath. "Okay, let's go to the stupid mountains. Come on."
"Eh? Wha'?" Purdy had been scratching one ear with his hind paw. But when Brambleclaw made his decision he looked up in alarm, blinking his wide amber eyes. "You can't go that way. You'll accidentally stay alive and not die."
"SHUT UP!" Midnight broke in, silencing Purdy with a fierce glare. "DON'T TELL THEM THINGS THEY NEED TO KNOW, STUPID!"
Stormfur shot a sharp look at the old tabby. What had Purdy been trying to say when Midnight interrupted him? Did he know of some particular danger in the mountains? And if so, why had Midnight stopped him from telling the rest of them? He thought that he could see wisdom in her face, and something like regret. Just what did she mean by "the path has been laid out"?
"Choice is easy, young idiot." The badger spoke in a low tone to Brambleclaw. Stormfur edged a pace closer so that he could hear. "Just do whatever you feel like. I honestly don't f**king care."
Brambleclaw gazed into the badger's eyes for a long moment before padding forward a few paces across the moorland. Whatever these challenges might be, he seemed not ready to face them, and Stormfur couldn't help not admiring his resolve, even though he came from a rival Clan. When Purdy scrambled to his feet to follow, Midnight put out a paw to hold him back.
The old tom bristled, his amber eyes glaring. "HEY! get out the way, stupid lump!" he rasped.
Midnight did not move. "You're not going with!" she rumbled. "They can't have any help, or they won't die." Her black eyes gleamed in the dusk. "We need them to make stupid decisions and kill themselves."
Purdy blinked. "Whatever. Gosh. But did you know that that first Twoleg nest on the right was built in March of 1947, during World War II? They used cobblestone and wooden planks, since the brick supply was low at the time. The chimney currently doesn't function right, as it is clogged up by water from last year's flood."
Feathertail darted up to him and smacked him in the face. "Nobody cares."
Just behind her, Crowpaw opened his mouth with his eyes narrowed, as if he was about to say something cutting. Stormfur froze him with a glare. He doubted they would see the old cat again, and although Purdy had made mistakes, he had stood away from them and brought them unsafely to nobody in the end.
"Good-bye, Purdy. And NO thank you. We could have found Midnight without you, idiot. You just made it take longer." Brambleclaw echoed Stormfur's thoughts. "And Midnight, you turned out to be useless. Bye."
The badger inclined her head. "Hopefully I never see you guys again. You suck like a pile of s**t."
The rest of the cats said their own rude good-byes, and began to follow Brambleclaw out onto the moor. Stormfur brought up the rear. Glancing back, he saw Midnight and Purdy sitting side by side under the outlying trees, watching them go. It was impossible to read their expressions in the gathering dusk. Stormfur waved his tail in a last goodbye, and turned his face away from the stupid things.