These days, my name is Masha, well I do not have a name, sitting near the pond while watching people come and go. I do not know who my parents are or even if they are alive. Will they come back? Are they looking for me? The general of the Queen took me to a family, but I don't remember them. I never took schooling, stargazing on my back as I ate deer meat somewhere in the middle of the forest. I tried every day to guess my age, maybe fourteen or sixteen years old. I kept hiding from the Queen, they told me to run, and ever since, I've been running as long as I could remember.

I look at my feet, it's wrapped in a rag, and dirty blue dress, worn out and holes everywhere. I'm so hungry, worse, thirsty as I got up and walked to a nearby pond, drinking with my hands. Lately, I've been having strange dreams or visions, a woman doing magic and a blonde woman with a sword. What does the dream mean?

The biggest question is who am I these days? I am here waiting for something or dying with no purpose. I heard someone shouting while running towards me when I stood up, it was a woman with long hair by the looks of it, a warrior since she's wearing a leather brown suit with a sword. She spotted me, handed me several pieces of paper telling me something.

"Give this to Governor Sima. Go to Guerrilla!"

I have no idea what she's saying, but it sounds important. G- something. I only remember the alphabet as my adoptive mother taught me when I was little. Was it ... or a different letter? I looked ahead, oh the guards of the Queen. I hid behind the trees as they were galloping, chasing the woman. I waited until the militias vanished before I started looking for the woman.

I could not find her anywhere; it meant the General took her to the Queen. I can't read the paper, some are writings and the other are maps, map of what?

I started with the salon and bar, hoping to hear a familiar word from what she said. I hid the papers in my sack, tightly close to me. Everyone knows me as a mute girl, I would point out a drink that I wanted. I only have five coins with me. I stayed all day, but nothing that is familiar. I walked over to the whore house. I like to watch one girl, with fiery red hair with freckles on her face; although, always wears a modest sexy dress that doesn't hide her cleavage. She's the only one I trust, and she has known me since I was younger. I like her kisses and hugs, and sometimes she would take me to bathe and give me a new pair of clothes. I've not been there for years or is it longer, I lost count of the months.

I waited by the bar, looking for a red-haired woman, there were four women flirting and touching the men. One has a lip cut off and the other wears a wig due to cancer. I felt my heart boiling to anger when I thought of her being with someone. I hate to see her with someone. The thought of her being with him and makes me go into the room and kill him.

I nod to the older woman behind the counter. I don't like how she does with her hair, lazily wrapped on top of her head in a black and blue dress. She's the boss of the whorehouse. Everyone knows that I only go to one person, but I never knew her name. All I know is that she takes care of me when I'm in town.

"She'll be with you in a second, Masha."

She handed me a cup of water while waiting; although I was surprised at that choice, water is sacred in this town. My eyes lit up, smiling as I saw my girl then my smile turned upside down, angrily when I saw the tall muscular man wrapping around her and kissing on the lips. I forgot the reason I didn't want to come here at all.

"Masha, don't get mad. It's my job," kissing my forehead and tightly hugging me, but I didn't warmly hug back. I follow her while holding her hands, so soft as I smile to myself. Her room is lively, with red paper all around and a cherry red bedspread, but the mirror is new. I never saw myself as I sat looking at myself. I touched my face, amazing, why do I look like the woman in the dreams? I'm not bad-looking, but I'm not as beautiful as my girl.

"I'll be right back, Masha," gesturing for me to stay here. I assume she's getting the bath ready or doing her business. I studied my face while waiting for her to come back. My chin and ears, I noticed little freckles, but they are a little brown. My hair is dark brown, long, and wavy, almost similar to the blonde woman. My face is somehow different, it's thinner and smoother. Who am I? Who are my parents? Who are the women in the dreams? Why do I look like them?

I curiously turned from the mirror when I heard her opening the door, talking to someone. She has a robe and wet rag in her hands, gesturing to take off the clothes.

"You smell, Masha. Why didn't you take a bath in the lake?"

She helped me take off my clothes and put on a robe while cleaning my face. Was my face that dirty? I thought my face was normal, approximately not. I kept my sack close and shook my head when she was about to take it.

"Are you still mad from the last time, Masha? I need this job and where do I go? Please don't get mad at me."

Touching my face and still giving me kisses to comfort me. I wish I could understand what she's saying. I remember the last time I was here; I almost killed the man who was hurting her in bed, I thought he was hurting her. I fought and she didn't let me kill him. It's when I realize what she's doing, with men. What choice do I have? I need someone to find out about the papers.

"Why can't you talk to me, Masha?"

I sat on the chair, awkward and I wanted my clothes back. Is she getting me new clothes or what is her plan? Someone opened the door and handed me a plate of food then put it on the table in front of me. I didn't realize how starving I was until I grabbed the fruits, meat, and bread. She stopped me to slow down, putting down the other food from my hand, and wiped my face with a smile.

"Slow down, Masha. You're going to choke yourself."

I wanted more food, but I didn't want to be greedy, so I simply nod in thanks for the meal. She cleans my face again to wipe the food off my face. Who am I to her? Am I a friend or someone more? What are we? My mind wandered when she led me to the steam room. She pointed at the silver tub for me to go in, I hate taking a bath. I shook my head and backed away.

"You have to take a bath, Masha. It's okay, it's just hot-warm water."

I watch her playing with the water and splashing. She slowly took off the robe while reassuring me. I watched her with wonder as she stroked my back. I hesitated when I slowly got inside of the hot water, washed my hair, and gave me soap. She signs to wash my body with soap.

"Wash your body," with a smile while handing me the soap.

"You've grown since the last time I saw you. Where have you been? Did you go on any adventures?"

She kept on talking like I understood her, I appreciated that when she treated me like a human being. I wasn't expecting new clothes, so I grabbed my last 4 coins to pay for the clothes. I know it is not enough, but it's something. I handed her the coins and pointed to the new outfit.

She kissed me on the cheek and shook her head, "this is for you, Masha. You don't have to pay me. Consider this a gift."

I felt the new outfit, it's really too nice. Black trousers and a red vest with a long coat include stockings and black boots, made me look like I was from the high class. Amazing, makes me look like a normal person.

"You look handsome, Masha. I was hoping this will fit you because your old dress doesn't fit you anymore. A friend of mine has an ex-husband, these are his clothes," with a big smile on her face, spins me around and straightens my suit while making sure it is properly fitted on.

I love it! I immediately hugged her in thanks and warmly hugged her back.

"Keep it clean, Masha. Please remember to take a bath in the lake," braided my hair when I sat in front of the mirror.

I looked for my sack and showed her the papers, signing that I want to go there, pointing at the paper.

"What's this, Masha?" curiously took the papers from my hands. She looks up again when I sign again that I want to go, "You want to go to Guerrilla? It's a precarious journey, Masha." She shakes the paper, "this is dangerous information, Masha. You will be killed when they find out you have it!"

I stubbornly slammed my foot that I want to go. I pointed to the paper again, myself, and signed walking through the forest. I need to find the right person to give these papers. The woman died for these papers, and I don't want her death to be in vain.

She touches my shoulder, "Calm down, Masha. There's no need for that. I do not know where the base is, it's hidden. No one knows where it is, Masha."

I thought maybe she can come with me, signing you and me, go.

"You want me to go with you?"

I nod, signing again, but she heavily sighs, "I can't go with you. I owe people, and they wouldn't let me leave anyway."

I know that look on her face, it meant no. I disapprovingly took the papers from her hand. I'll be on my own to look for whatever or wherever. I put the pages in my pocket and the sack off the bed then nod in thanks while giving her the last of my coins.

"Come on, Masha. Don't be like this."

I shouldn't have come at all. She'll never be at my side or even support me. She won't leave this place or change occupation. I quietly left the room when she spoke. "Don't go, Masha. I need time."

I angrily shot her a look when she tried again, "please, Masha. Don't get mad now. I can't leave this place."

I stood outside, waiting a few more minutes as I prayed and hoping she changes her mind. Wait, the last few pages are maps. Maybe one of them leads somewhere. I went back to the alley to look at the maps. I groaned when I couldn't read it. I need a map and someone to show me where I am. Someone will be looking for her. I walked back to the same place I was before.