The weed didn't just smell different from what he was used to; it also hit quicker and the sensation itself wasn't as intense, for the lack of a better word. Instead of being lowkey knocked out of his senses, Daryl felt just slightly light headed and oddly relaxed. This was not the state he'd find itself in often, if at all.
He caught himself grinning when a dull ache settled in his cheeks, indicating this was more smiling than his face muscles were trained to do. A brief moment of shame was quickly alleviated as he caught Leanne's glance, as well as her own smile. To think he was so stressed just moments ago.
"This...Some good shit you got,"
He finally muttered, his words sounding strange to himself. Alcohol was one thing, but drugs? A whole different monster and Daryl was just adjusting to it.
"Yeah, got a trustworthy dealer. I sometimes bake it into cookies too, but those are lethal. The first time I've made one I didn't realise it's going to fuck me up, so I ate an entire thing. I was high for nearly 24 hours."
The mental image of the redhead stumbling around high for much longer than one would expect amused him to no end, and Daryl burst out laughing. It seemed to be contagious, because Leanne followed right after. And for the next five or so minutes this was just that - the two of them laughing their heads off.
"God, I'm glad you didn't turn out to be even more awkward when you're high. I was starting to think my instincts about you were wrong," Leanne said, wiping tears of laughter with her sleeve.
That was an odd remark to make, alerting Daryl all over again.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing, really. You just looked pretty intense ever since that night your gang came around. Like...Donna was totally trying to score and you ran off. Do you really think I bought that bullshit about needing a piss? Give me a break."
The redhead was hundred percent correct, and Daryl felt ashamed now having realised she's seen right through him. Meaning the other day, she could also read him rather well, which would also explain as for why she made her way out at such haste.
However, Daryl's primary instinct of coping with embarrassment was transferring it into anger. This is how he had to be with Merle and his goons around. The only acceptable response was aggression, or else he'd be deemed weak.
"Oh, fuck off. You don't know me. You come here from your fancy little suburban house with a stash of weed you bought with daddy's money and imagine you're shit?"
Daryl barked and regretted it the moment he did as the smile was wiped off Leanne's face at the instant. He was beginning to contemplate an apology, but after a brief pause between them, she's beaten him to it.
"Well, you're not wrong, I guess. I do stupid shit with the money of my parents. But that's the only thing I ever get from them, to ensure I stay out of their way."
Now, he had to apologised. He's done just what he has accused her of - he jumped into conclusions and treated her based on an assumption he's had. At the end of the day, everyone had a story. Daryl just struggled to understand hers.
"I'm sorry," he muttered, bowing his head. "But that's still better than nothin', no?"
The redhead responded with another laugh, but it wasn't a light-hearted chuckle from before. It was rather bitter and sent shivers Daryl's spine. It was starting to look as if he wandered into an area he shouldn't have touched on.
"I'd rather have nothing than this."
"Look, I ain't got nothing but my brother, Merle. You've seen him. Growing up, even he wasn't around much - mostly in a juvie. It could always be worse."
Daryl was trying to cheer her up to his best ability, but comforting people was not something he knew how to do. Although since he was the one to bring the mood down, he had to at least try. Leanne shook her head.
"You have your brother nonetheless. Even if he wasn't around before, he is now. My parents... Well. They're currently divorcing. They're not fighting about the house or the car or the money as much as they're fighting over me."
"They love you. Of course they're fighting."
"Oh, you don't get it. They've been cheating on one another for years on end, and have now gone to build new families. Neither needs a residue of the past. They're fighting over who's the one who'll have to take me."
Daryl couldn't explain this, but hearing what she said hit something within him. It was cruel, it angered him and he made him ache for her - he could only imagine what was Leanne's take on this situation. He has really fucked up starting this conversation.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."
"It's fine. I've long since come to terms with that. I was never the perfect child they wanted. Too curious, too rash, too loud. I would never stay in lane. Got kicked out from school a bloody kindergarten because they said they were unable to control me. So yeah. A lifetime of embarrassment. So, you were right in a sense. I just do stupid shit with their money, as this is probably my last chance to get back at them. Get in as much trouble as I can before I'm 18. Once that happens, I will be left on my own."
"You'll be fine. You're a strong girl. Fuck them for being like that. No parent should pull this shit. You'll make it through with or without them."
His words were genuine this time. From the start he could sense Leanne had a bit of a different aura around her, but now he was certain she was no weakling. Although their situation were vastly different, in Daryl's eyes she was also a survivor. And that made his admiration to her grow further.
Leanne didn't answer at first. She then slowly turned to face him, her eyes dead set on his. There were no tears, which he was grateful to see, but the look in her eyes was strangely empty yet sad in the same time.
"Do you truly look this pathetic to you? It's like everytime you look at me, I feel like you're accusing me in something."
Before he had a chance to protest, Leanne's answered herself.
"And you're right to do so. I myself no longer know who or what I am. Doing my best has never worked, although I'm not trying to be horrible for the sake of it either. I'm just... Trying to be me, you know? Whatever me is. It's like there's simply no place for me, unless I live under constant pretence of being someone I'm not."
Her words hit closer to home than Daryl would expect. His own feelings were pretty similar to what Leanne described, it's just he would always push those thoughts to the back of his mind and pretend they didn't exist. Being exposed to them by somebody else was odd, but it was also reassuring to learn he wasn't the only one having them.
Daryl hesitated before speaking up. Sharing feeling wasn't something he was prone to doing, but Leanne has shown her vulnerable side to him. In his book this meant he was safe to expose his.
"Yeah, same. I try to put up an act when I'm with Merle and the others. But shit they do ain't fun to me. I just recon it's better than nothin'."
His honesty was awarded by a smile.
"Well, looks like neither of us is made to be part of this world."
"Aye. Seems so."
This has seemingly returned the mood back to somewhat relaxed, just where the one would want to be when high. The tension that's built up in the past ten or so minutes has been alleviated, Daryl could feel as much. And Leanne's next question, pretty much out of context, confirmed that.
"What would you do if the world ended? Like...If there were no more laws, the society would go to total shit and the only thing that matters is survival?"
Daryl couldn't help but snort.
"That's what my life has always been. No laws. No society. Survival is all that matters."
The redhead tilted her head to the side, her gaze fixated on him in a rather intense stare. Daryl wondered if she was trying to determine whether he was kidding. Frankly, he was brutally honest. At least he thought he was.
Finally, she broke the silence and their eyes interlocked for the first time.
"Well, guess then you're right about me being a privileged city brat."
Daryl didn't deny or agree with her, deciding to keep quiet and extend the sudden intimate connection he felt upon nothing more but an eye contact. In his mind, however, he made a comment.
She was different from what he thought she was. And that was a compliment.