Waking up alone was always painful. But luckily Zola had joined me last night, she must have been cold, or lonely. I had sent them all to bed early because I was feeling sad and tired. I ended up crying in my bedroom for at least an hour, and even considered calling Alex, but after playing with my phone in my hands for a while, I decided against waking up my best friend for such a silly reason. Actually, It wasn't a silly reason. My sister is dead. Crap, I'm going to start crying again.

After dropping my kids off, I still had about an hour and a half before my therapy. I didn't want to go back to the pit, that would just be a waste of my time. I decided I should go on a walk.

I don't go the woods often, for obvious reasons. But Lexie loved it here. She loved they woody scent, and the sun seeping through the trees above her head, painting patterns on the forest floor. I can almost hear her in my head, 'I want to stay here forever Mer. Right here.' I never noticed how empty my side felt without her there. I never realized how quiet it was without the bottom of her shoes pattering against the ground, trying their hardest to keep up with me. I never realized how much I missed my little sister. My Little Grey. A spot Maggie could never fill. Oh God, Maggie. She had called me multiple times last night to ask how my therapy was, as she said she would. I didn't want to pick up the phone, for the fear that I would burst into tears, or start shouting at her. I'll just call her back later. Right now I need to be here, in this moment.

Being back in these woods reminded me of the time Lexie and I went camping together, in these woods, right before we got Zola.

'Lexie, I love you, but I am freezing! Can't we just turn back around, I bet you we could get home before nightfall.' In all honesty, it had been my idea to come out here. Lexie and Mark broke up around a week ago, and she had taken it really hard. The first day, she didn't come down from the attic, and everyone had to listen to her cry for hours on end. It was painful for me to listen to and ignore. But the next day she acted like nothing was wrong. She had put on a fake smile and said that everything was perfect. Unfortunately for her, I know that act well. So I took her out here. Her favourite place. The woods.

'We are nearly there, Mer. And it's not that cold! Just look around us. Its beautiful.'

'Why couldn't your favourite place be, like, a trampoline park?'

'Oh my god! We should take Zola to a trampoline park when she comes. I could teach her how to do a cartwheel!'

Zola was way to young to learn to do a cartwheel, but I hadn't seen Lexie this happy in over a week, so I was not about to burst this bubble.

'Yeah, that would be great. Let's just not take her camping, ok?'

'Not with you I won't. You whine too much. When Zola's a teenager I'm going to take her out like this. I'm going to make her see this place the way I do. The wonder. The beauty. I'm going to be the best aunt Seattle has ever seen. She's going to love me more than she loves you and Derek.'

'I'm sure she will.'

"So, Meredith, have you thought about what we discussed yesterday?"

Have I thought about what we discussed? I literally have thought about nothing else. I actually dreamt about my dead sister last night. But instead I say,

"No, I haven't."

"I'm surprised you even showed up today."

"So am I."

He chuckled, gathering a group of sheets together on his desk.

" I'm also assuming I'll be doing most of the talking today, am I right?"

"Probably."

"Great then. Let's get started. I know you and your half sister were not raised together, correct?" She was my sister. Just my sister. I nodded. "When did you meet her? First impressions?"

"I met her while bringing in a trauma. She just barged in and told me."

'Lexie Grey. I'm, I'm your sister.'

"She had these doe eyes, that seemed so sure and bright and full of expectation. It was her first day working at the hospital, and she was just another intern. Until she wasn't."

"Were you aware that she existed before you met her?"

"Um, yeah. Susan and Thatcher had told me about her, I just never expected to meet her."

"And you just weren't prepared."

"Yeah. I honestly hated her at first. She was annoying and perfect and wanted to be my best friend. So I pushed her away."

"I'm sensing a pattern."

"I've talked to a different therapist about it. Don't worry, it's not another problem you have to fix. Anyway, it took me a while to warm up to her. I don't want to talk about it."

"Do you feel guilty?"

"Why would I feel guilty? About what?"

"About spending so much time hating her when you could have been spending the limited time your had with her loving her."

It's not like I hadn't thought about it. I'm not a heartless person, of course I felt guilty.

"Was there a time before you started warming up to her that you acted like her sister?"

"Not really. I was very rude until she wiggled her way into my heart. Actually, I can think of one time."

Lexie was on my tail again. She just wouldn't leave me alone, no matter how many times I asked. And it just so happens that the fates were against me today. I'd already lost a patient, only forty five minutes after them coming through the doors, and on top of that I had got virtually no sleep due to nightmares about the silliest things. Now my annoying little half sister wouldn't leave me alone.

'Lexie, I'm sorry I can't help you. I've had a hard day and I really don't need you following me.'

'I know, but there's a woman downstairs who needs a central line and I've never done one.'

I spun around to look at her.

'Do you know how to do it?'

'Of course.'

'Then do it.'

I started walking again.

'But I've...fine.'

Around 15 minutes later, I got a phone call from an unknown number.

'Hello?'

'Hi, it's Lexie.'

Oh My God. You have got to be kidding me.

'What do you want?'

'I just wanted to let you know that I did it. The central line.'

'That's great Lexie. Now I really need to-'

I was cut off by a scream as the phone was dropped. All of a sudden all of the hate I had for my younger sister washed away and fear and protectiveness kicked in. I ran down the stairs as fast as my legs could take me and found the room Lexie was in.

By the time I had swung open the door a large man, around twice my size, was swinging Lexie into things with one hand on her arm and the other on her neck. Her eyes resembled pure fear. Before I could move, he threw her towards the window, and I flinched as I heard the back of her head hit the glass with a crack. I saw the large man try and make a grab for her, surely to give her another good beating, but before he could security ran in from behind me and dragged him out. Within seconds I was by Lexie's side, stopping her from sliding onto the floor. I've never been more terrified. Her eyes were drooping, the back of her head was bleeding and she couldn't seem to form full sentences.

Dr Bailey rushed towards us, with wild eyes and a horrified look on her face. She came faster when she took sight of me rocking Lexie gently in my arms on the floor in the corner of the room.

"What the hell happened?"

"Dr Bailey. I need you to page Dr Shepherd for me."

"I just need to know-"

"Dr Bailey. I am freaking out and trying to stay calm, so I need you to page Dr Shepherd 911. Please."

"Okay."

By the time Derek had gotten here from CT, Lexie had thrown up 6 times and kept trying to fall asleep on me.

"Please let me go to sleep. I'm so tired."

"For the hundredth time, no. Not until Derek gives us the all clear."

I felt sick to my stomach. I have never been so scared or freaked out that that before. But the thought of Lexie dying at the hands of that man...it terrified me.

Derek burst through the door, with a smile on his face.

"What took you so long?" I shouted angrily.

"I had a consult. Anyway, Lexie, you have a minor skull fracture at the back of you head and a severe concussion, but the good news is that you are not going to die today!"

I sat down on the sofa, with my hands rubbing my face.

"Thank God."

"Can I sleep now?"

"I'd say wait around 20 minutes, and then you can. I'm also going to keep you here for 2 weeks to monitor you. Meredith, can you stay with her?"

"Yeah, sure I'll stay until she falls asleep."

Lexie's face sagged in disappointment, but she didn't say a word about it.

"Thank you Meredith. I appreciate it." And she turned around to look out the window.

"I left her. The first time of many."

Thank you for the support on the first chapter! I will upload again as soon as I can.

Izzie xx