Amanda Waller's beleaguered secretary, Flo Crawley, was taking a well-deserved lunch break at her desk. Normally she enjoyed the company of her fellow Task Force X employees, but had decided to take some time for herself. This consisted of reading magazines that either contained salacious gossip, shirtless men or a combination of column a and column b.

Today's current issue was discussing the possible romance between the chiseled martial artist Benjamin Turner and effervescent supermodel Mari McCabe. Adoring the former and sizzling with distaste for the latter for stealing what had never been "her man," Flo naturally had a vested interest in the possibility of them being in a relationship.

So, one can imagine the annoyance she felt when she heard someone walk over to her desk and purposefully cough to get her attention.

"The sign says I'm on a break." Flo sighed, lowering the magazine down to her eyeline so as to affix the man in the green costume standing before her. "If you could please-"

"Oh, this won't take too long at all." He interrupted in a pleasant, dreamy sort of voice. "I have a meeting with your boss, Miss Waller. It concerns a matter of vital importance."

"Doesn't it always?" Flo asked.

"I'm sure you know who I am." The man chuckled, flexing his muscles. "I get asked for autographs all the time, it's so embarrassing…"

"A metahuman or costumed vigilante of some variety?" Flo guessed. "Yeah, we get those every other day coming here."

"Well, maybe it's the new costume." The man said, seeming annoyed Flo wasn't giving him the attention he felt he deserved. "I was B'Wana Beast's sidekick back in the day, used to go by Arm-Fall-Off-Boy?"

Flo spat out her sip of coffee.

"I'm sorry, I must have misheard you. What did you just say?"

"I know, my name made no sense." He shook his head. "Our birthdays are three weeks apart and I can detach more than my arms, y'know. Then I went by The Detachable Kid, which I liked a little better, had a bit of a cowboy thing there. But I think I've finally aged into the perfect name. Drumroll please-"

Flo did not oblige him.

"The Dark Knight!" He cried out eagerly. "That way, I get to keep the initials on my previous merchandise. And I really think I need to separate myself from my bizarre roots. I love the guy personally but B'Wana powers are just… disturbing."

"I sadly know what you mean." Flo sighed. "What he did to that spider and that police horse haunts me every time I close my eyes."

"Point is, The Dark Knight is here, no need to fear!" T.D.K pronounced proudly.

"That name definitely is better." Flo agreed. "But I thought Batman was known as 'The Dark Knight?'"

"Ehhhhh, it's a subtitle." T.D.K shrugged. "Legal claims are shaky at best."

"Mr. Knight, why are you here?" Flo said.

"Well, I've done the solo thing for a bit, but at some point heroes like me have to settle down and drink Mr. Pibb." T.D.K said. "Fact of the matter is, since B'Wana fired me because of quote/unquote 'reckless endangerment' and 'his lion-dolphin told me I didn't smell right' I've been more or less blacklisted from the superhero community at large. Papa Pitzner needs a win, big time. And I know just how to do it - bring down the guys who brought down my fallen peer, Firestorm."

"Wait a minute." Flo sputtered. "You came here to take on The Firefighters?"

"Well, in a word, yes." T.D.K nodded. "I want to join the Justice League! One of their members died and needs avenging. It's really fortunate how all the timing worked out, really."

"Yeah, lucky." Flo said, arching her eyebrow. "You do understand that these people beat someone who could endure the heat of the sun for extended periods of time, right?"

"Well, they do have some heavy hitters on their side, but I've taken down some pretty nasty folks too." T.D.K chuckled. "If you had the choice between a full team of pros or Babe Ruth, who would you pick?"

"The full team." Flo answered quickly. "You can't realistically compete professionally with just one player. While I don't follow baseball, I'm positive you'd be disqualified."

"Oh, yee of little faith. I understand they are in your custody and I would like to take them on." T.D.K resumed, acting as though their answers aligned.

"I at least feel a responsibility to tell you about them." Flo said, looking up the individual members of The Firefighters on her computer.

"Oooohh, they come with quasi-music videos of their backstory! Fun." T.D.K said gleefully, leaning onto Flo's desk and crushing her bag of chips with his elbow.

United by a shared hatred of Firestorm, seven separate villains banded together to extinguish the Nuclear Man's flame. Individually, they were dangerous. Together, naming themselves after the Seven Deadly Enemies of Man, they're unstoppable.

Envy - Doctor Double X (Simon Ecks); Martin Stein's old college roommate, possessed

by the green-eyed monster, developed the Double X technology to checkmate Stein's infamous Firestorm Matrix. Ecks can manifest immaterial clones to do his dirty work. He is a high-value target for metahuman traffickers who wish to use his brilliant mind for their own purposes. However, Ecks has carved out his own criminal empire built on the backs of metahumans, and he does not share. Not even with himself.

Gluttony - Weasel (John Monroe); Professor John Monroe became a half-man,

half-weasel hybrid to exact revenge on his childhood bullies. In the process his humanity was lost, and Monroe's once-keen mind is now consumed by purely animalistic impulses. If it weren't for Mindboggler, he'd have disemboweled all the other members of The Firefighters long ago. His ravenous hunger for human flesh is a cup that can never be filled.

Greed - Slipknot (Christopher Weiss); The man who can climb anything. Scaling

buildings like a spider scales webs, Christopher Weiss became Canada's premiere assassin by the time he was sixteen years old. Gear has been treated so as to be unaffected by Firestorm's abilities, and has a mechanical arm replacing the one lost during the affair with the Manhunters. Possible ties with the Kobra, Thuggee and Basilisk organizations. How appropriate he has friends in such high places.

Lust - Shadow Thief (Aviva Metula); Aviva Metula was a former archeologist obsessed

with Egyptology to the point of believing herself to be the reincarnation of Seth, the master of storms. Developed a symbiotic shadow-suit to aid her in her mission to kill in what her view were false gods. While the murder of Firestorm was a group effort, they have all corroborated that it was Metula who snuffed his fire. She is the most unstable member of the team by far, proceed with caution.

Pride - Killer Frost (Louise Lincoln); Former ballerina Louise Lincoln's cold attitude

translated perfectly to her latent metahuman abilities of cryokinesis. With this, she racked up an impressive resume of supervillainy that put all her male counterparts at the time to shame. Lacks any and all empathy for her fellow human beings, and was Firestorm's self-professed archenemy, which made her the natural choice for the leader of The Firefighters. Trusts Ecks to be her deputy, but who knows if that alliance will last into spring.

Sloth - Mindboggler (Leah Wasserman); Little if anything is known about Leah

Wasserman, A.K.A Mindboggler. Any and all accounts may simply end up being elaborate fantasies induced in others to cover up her tracks. What is known is Wasserman enjoys the punk aesthetic and has the ability to create incredibly convincing illusions, brainwashing or paralyzing all in her path. Her "beef" as it were with Firestorm is by far the shortest with only one encounter that led to her arrest, but Wasserman took her pound of flesh nonetheless.

Wrath - Plastique (Bette Sans Souci); Quebec's premiere terrorist Bette Sans Souci is a

metahuman able to create controlled explosions. Has yet to go on a squad mission, mostly given her traitorous nature and demolitions expertise make it likely she would find a manner to disarm the bomb in her neck. Some who know of Sans Souci consider her an extremist of strong convictions. However, those unfortunate enough to have met her recognize quickly she's just another sadist who just likes to watch the world burn.

"Just thought I'd let you-" Flo began, only to see T.D.K had already left. As a matter of fact, security tapes would show that he had used one of his detached fingers to steal Flo's keycard and had silently tiptoed out of the room while she was distracted by the fast editing and candy-colored graphics that accompanied the exposition. He hadn't even gotten through Doctor Double X's intro.

"Oh, cousin Amanda is going to kill me!" Flo gasped.

…

The infamous Firefighters were playing a more-or-less friendly game of softball with The Rogues when T.D.K's arm was launched into the air and caught Doctor Double X's pop fly.

"What in the hell?!" Both Doctor Double X's had sputtered, angry not only as a player but as coach of their team.

"Ahaha, you're out, Ecks!" Heat-Wave chuckled, who was enjoying a hot dog from the bench and high-fiving Captain Cold, who was enjoying a soda. "Even with Weiss' killer arm you couldn't beat us."

"Buuuuuuut that'sssssssss nottttttttt faiiiirrrrrr!" Shadow Thief moaned.

"Fair's for tourists, Sheila." Captain Boomerang said, chest-bumping with Mirror Master.

"Ref, you've got to call that again." Killer Frost demanded. "That was clearly

interference."

Mime shrugged and shook her head sadly. Being a "Batman Villain" versus a "Flash Villain" or "Firestorm Villain," she was the natural choice to play referee.

"I can't believe this!" Slipknot said, twisting his baseball hat into knots. "We beat The Superman Revenge Squad and Villainy, Inc.! We were going to play The Arkham Knights in the finals!"

"What imbécile caught that pitch?!" Plastique said.

"Enh! Enh! Enh! Enh!" Weasel cried out, raising his hand.

"What's that, boy?" Mindboggler asked. "Let me see…"

Placing her hand on Weasel's arm, a caricature-like image appeared in front of the assembled players in T.D.K's likeness.

"Man, Green Lantern's new costume sure looks stupid." Slipknot smirked. "And that comes from me!"

"Yeah, well it's still better than yours from back in the day, evildoer!" T.D.K said, jogging up to catch up to his detached arm and sticking it back in his socket.

"That'sssss whaaaaaat heeeeeee jussssssst saaaaiiiiiid." Shadow Thief said.

"It's not a good burn if he made fun of it first, mon ami." Plastique said.

"Point is, you're all going down!" T.D.K. said. "Wait until you see what I can do!"

The Firefighters all started to advance on him, but several of Doctor Double X's clones held out their arms to stop his compatriots in their tracks.

"With your permission, boss, it's my hit at bat he disrupted." Doctor Double X said.

"Granted, Ecks." Killer Frost said, arching her eyebrow.

"I'll need your help, Leah, Aviva. Buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks." Doctor Double X motioned.

"Ohhh, I getcha Ecks." Mindboggler chuckled.

"Iiiiiiiiii donnnnn't caaarreeeee ifffff Iiiii neeeevvvvveerrr geeeettttt baccckkkkk!" Shadow Thief sang gleefully.

"And what is it you can do, Dark Knight?" Doctor Double X asked, turning back to face T.D.K. "Separate your arms so you can use them as blunt objects? You're not exactly a flight risk, are you?"

"Well, yeah, but that's not all I can do!" T.D.K blustered. "I can do my legs and other stuff, too!"

"I don't believe you." Doctor Double X said, rolling his eyes. "We're not going to entertain the idea of fighting someone who can only do one thing."

T.D.K's face turned beet red. "OH, YEAH? TELL ME, DOCTOR, IS THIS "ONE THING?"

And with that T.D.K's arms and legs both shot off of his body. With no support, his torso and head slammed onto the ground.

"Ow!" T.D.K said. "Yeah, that's what you get! I'm a watchful guardian, a protector! The- wait, what's going on? I'm not- AUUUUUUGGGHHHH!"

His left arm had floated into the air outside of his control and a giant bite had severed his hand from the limb.

His other limbs weren't faring any better. His right arm had been frozen solid and shattered into chunks of ice. And his legs had exploded like potatoes in a microwave, only leaving scraps of flesh and charred bone.

Suddenly, The Firefighters vanished, revealing seven Doctor Double X's all laughing at the forcible amputee that now looked up at him in horror and shock.

"Weasel, could you bring him to me? I want to have a little talk in the huddle with him, and our lovely boss got to deliver the big monologue last time. Thank you. You hero types never learn, do you?" Doctor Double X shook his head in disbelief. "Peanuts and crackerjacks defeated someone known as 'The Nuclear Man,' you never really stood a chance, my dear fellow."

"But how-" T.D.K choked, blood dripping out of his mouth. He could only wiggle helplessly as Weasel's claws dug into his chest.

"A simple, but brilliant maneuver. I create six duplicates and simultaneously Mindboggler creates the illusion of all of us over my bodies. Meanwhile, Shadow Thief creates a veil of darkness that covers my allies, they sneak up on the hero, extract their pound of flesh and... voila."

"We'll have to try this again on other heroes once I figure out a method of breaking out…" Doctor Double X stroked his goatee thoughtfully. "I'd kill you myself but alas, we drew straws on the night we killed Firestorm, and after Ms. Metula, Mr. Weiss' had the second-largest straw. Slipknot?"

"No- please. Aaccckk…." T.D.K gasped. Weasel had handed the would-be vigilante over to his comrade, and Slipknot had taken T.D.K by the throat with his cybernetic arm, metal fingers clenching his scalp. The last thing The Dark Knight heard as his face turned blue and his eyes slid to the back of his head was Slipknot reciting;

"Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright; the band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light, and somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout; but there is no joy in Mudville — mighty Casey has struck out."

*Crack*

*Thud*

The Rogues, had been unable to unglue their eyes from the whole affair, stood dumbfounded as The Firefighters. Having finished playing with their food, they turned around to face their former opponents.

"I think I speak for all of us when I say The Rogues forfeit the match to The Firefighters." Trickster spoke up.

"Oh, no, that's very kind of you to offer, but we don't mind. You won fair and square." Killer Frost said, leading her friends off the pitch to celebrate their defeat with pizza and ice cream in the mess hall. "There's always next season. After all, it's only just a game."