In the middle of the night, James kept tossing and turning in bed. Sarah woke up and tried her best to calm him down, rubbing his back up and down

"Don't want to. Pembroke. No, I can't. Don't make me," he mumbled.

She suddenly remembered her conversation with Colonel Tavington from yesterday. He did not wanted to tell her what James did in Pembroke, but clearly, his actions were devouring from within.

"Shhh, everything is alright. You are safe here," she whispered to him.

He woke up sharply, not remembering where he was. His hands wrapped around Sarah's neck for a few seconds. His reflexes made him act to save his life, but as he blinked his eyes, he recognised his bedroom and his wife. He pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed, his feet on the ground. He could not look at Sarah, ashamed of his reaction, but also ashamed of everything he had become. He buried his head in his hand, his elbows remaining on his knees.

"James, talk to me," Sarah said, as she rubbed her neck. She wasn't hurt, or afraid, but she did not recognize the man before her. She came closer to him, wrapped her arms from behind, holding him tightly. "You know you can tell me anything."

"I can't, you will never forgive me," he said as he slowly stood up, not able to handle her touch on his body. She was so naïve, how could she believe she could handle the truth, he thought.

She looked at him, pacing back and forth in the room. She did not know what to do anymore with him. She felt like she already lost him to this war. His body was still intact, but his mind was his worst enemy.

"I need some fresh air," he said as he put on his pant and shirt. She looked at him put his boots on and left the room in silence.

She sighed, dropping her shoulders, not knowing what to do. She wore her robe over her nightgown and rushed outside her bedroom. She had to tell someone James had gone alone at night. She absentmindedly walked the hallway and knocked on a door. The door opened sharply and a very tired colonel Tavington appeared in the door crack. His unruly hair was down on his bare shoulders and chest.

"What?" he said, before noticing the intruder was the young brunette. "Oh, Sarah. Is everything okay? Why are you here?"

"I am sorry, I did not know what to do," she said, instantly regretting her decision to inform her husband's superior officer. She could not help her eyes wandered on his sizzled chest.

"Don't stay here, come in for a minute," he said, grabbing her arm and pulling her inside. She heard the door closed behind her, and suddenly felt unsafe, alone in a man's bedroom. She got conscious of her appearance; still in her nightgown, barefoot, her hair dishevelled.

She turned around toward the colonel, who was standing very close to her. She had not heard him walked behind her. She had to tilt her head up to meet his eyes; very lustful eyes that made her shiver, made her feel her heartbeat pulse between her legs. It had been a long time since she last felt desired.

"I am sorry, I should go. This was a bad idea," she said walking around the man.

"What did you had in mind, wandering in my room in the middle of the night?" he said, blocking her way, grabbing her waist.

"James has left outside, alone. I am worried for him. He is having terrible nightmares. I wanted… advices… or just tell someone who might know what is wrong with him," she said, avoiding all eye contact, trying to walk back. His grip on her waist would not loosen, and he would walk forward to every step back she took.

"So you are all alone for the night?" he whispered in her ear, his lips brushing her cheek. "And still, you came to me. Oh, my dearest Sarah," he sighed in her neck. Sarah's back rested on the wall behind her, his weight pinning her there. His thigh slid between her legs, resting on her heated cunt. She felt frozen, surprise by his behavior. She was taken away from her daydream as his lips crashed on hers, very delicately at first, but soon needy and passionate. Her body needed those touches, a man's touches. Her husband did not seem please with her lately, he had not touched her passionately in weeks. Their last couplings were led by James' own needs, not a shared passion like it uses to be.

She moaned when she felt his strong hands caressing her body through her clothes. His tongue slid in her parted lips, wrestling with hers as she responded to his kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck when his hands grabbed her buttocks and lifted her easily in the air. He walked the few step and laid her on the bed, still caressing every inch of her body. In a second, he straddled her, his weight pinning her on the bed. He kissed her neck, making his way to her chest, when she grabbed his head in a sudden moment of awareness.

"Please, Colonel. I cannot do this…" She hoped her tone was convincing; her head wanted to stop, but her body wanted nothing more than carry on.

He grabbed her wrists and held her arms above her head on the pillow. "Sarah, you came to me, don't tell me you do not want me." His gaze was cold and full of anger, but still hopeful she would change her mind. He released his grip on her wrists, but remained on top of her.

"I- I love my husband dearly… I needed help, and came to you for advices…" she tried to justify her behavior, scared of what might happen now he was aroused. She could feel his very hard erection pressing on her lower belly.

In his head, he was weighing his options at the fastest pace his deprived brain could think of. He was tempted to take her right here, right now; she would probably give in in a matter of minutes. But he did not recognize himself when he slowly and reluctantly moved away from her. This woman was making him weak; he would have given her anything she would ask. Since she asked him to stop, he did. Why Wilkins would not care for her, he wondered.

They sat next to each other on his bed, not speaking for a while, when she broke the silence. "Can I ask you to try to find James? He has gone outside alone and…"

"He is a grown man. He will come back on his own," Tavington said sharply. She nodded, his tone was uncompromising. She got up and walked toward the door. She almost reached the door handle but her arm was caught once again. She felt his whole body pressing against her back.

"Sarah," he whispered in her ear. "Next time you come to me, I swear I will not let you go. I will not be able to stop myself. Now that you know, you will make an informed decision before coming back to me in the middle of the night." She turned her head around to meet his gaze. In his icy blue eyes, she found a mixture of sadness, hurt, anger and lust.

"Indulge me one last kiss before you go," he said releasing his strong grip on her arm, allowing her to fully turn around to face him. Right after she lifted her head, one of his hand grabbed the side of her cheek very softly, the other one rested on the small of her back. Very slowly, he lowered his lips and kissed her. She had to fight her physical desire for this man and tried not to respond too much to his kiss. He brushed his nose against her before releasing his embrace.

"Good night, Colonel," she said before leaving quietly the room.