A difficult man
Chapter 3
Rock Creek 1868
Jane went home and found both Rachel and Lou still there and told them how things had gone in town with Gibson and that Teaspoon had already left to go to the Territorial Governor.
The two women told her that they had given Buck some soup but he was still unconscious.
Jane reread Dr. Pearson's instructions and asked Lou and Rachel if they could help her with the massages because she wouldn't be able to lift Buck's dead body on her own to massage his back. The two women gladly agree and Jane took the conditioner the doctor gave her. She began massaging Buck's whole body, insisting more on the wounds and when she got to the one in the groin, she felt very uncomfortable but tried not to show it. Rachel then helped her by holding up Buck's torso and Jane rubbed his back as well. The wounds seemed to improve but the fever was still high.
The three women set up shifts for the next few days, so that one between Lou and Rachel was always there to help Jane lift Buck.
"Thanks for your availability Jane, you are a dear girl", Rachel said.
"Anyone in my place would do the same thing, you cannot abandon a man in these conditions"
"Believe me, not everyone would be willing to do this, especially after knowing he is a Kiowa", Lou pointed out.
"I only see a man who has suffered a profound injustice, whether he is white, black or Kiowa it doesn't matter"
"I'm sure we'll be good friends", Rachel added.
The three women said goodbye and Jane went back to Buck's room to watch over him while she went about her work.
The next morning the doctor returned and said that there were no positive or negative improvements. The fever should have started to drop over the next few days.
Jane thanked him and continued her routine. In the afternoons and evenings Rachel and Lou came to help her according to the established shifts and she also received a visit from Kid. The three women chatted and began to get to know each other as they looked after Buck. Rachel and Lou told their stories and Jane confessed why she had moved to Rock Creek: she had fled from Italy because her family wanted her to marry a man she did not love. She tried to convince her parents not to force her, but they were adamant, so she armed herself with courage, took her inheritance money and her belongings, and fled to America. She called herself Jane, the Americanized form of her middle name, to prevent her parents from tracking her down.
"Wow, what courage you had!" Rachel exclaimed.
"I couldn't accept marrying a man I didn't love and lead a life of recluse without aspirations. I like reading, studying, writing, embroidering, knitting and doing many other things. I would have reduced myself to being a slave for a man I would never have loved ".
"I can understand you", Lou noted, "I too struggled to give up my job for the Pony Express when I married Kid, but for me it was different, I loved him and still love him."
"I ask you not to tell anyone what I have told you, any indiscretion could be harmful to me"
"Don't worry, your secret is safe with us", Rachel said.
Lou went home with Kid and Rachel stayed on to help Jane with the massages and noticed the dedication with which the girl looked after the unfortunate young man. She began to guess that maybe Jane had feelings for Buck and she was happy.
The following days passed in the same way until one evening, Jane noticed that Buck's forehead was no longer burning as before and she also saw some imperceptible movement of his fingers. She was very happy with it and hoped this was a symptom of his recovery.
The next morning the doctor confirmed her hopes and told her that Buck would wake up soon. Jane couldn't wait for it to happen, even if she was a little fearful of how he would react and how he would treat her.
That afternoon, while she was alone in the house, she heard a knock on the door. She went to open and saw a tall, well built man with long brown hair and a gun carried far below the other men she knew.
"Hello Miss, I'm Jimmy Hichock, a friend of Buck and Teaspoon"
"Oh good morning, they warned me you were coming. Come in, my name is Jane "
"Nice to meet you Jane, can I consider you a friend?"
"Sure, Buck's friends are my friends too. I'll take you to him right away. The doctor was here this morning and said he will wake up soon, luckily the fever is going down ".
"I'm happy. This is really good news "
"Come on, let's go upstairs."
Jimmy followed Jane who led him to Buck's room. She opened the door to him and said: "Come in, I'll leave you alone, if you need me I'm down. Lou should be here soon "
"Thanks Jane"
Jane went downstairs and began to prepare the conditioner for Buck and the vegetables to cook some more broth.
After a while, Jimmy got out and asked her to tell him in detail what happened. Jane repeated what she had already told Teaspoon trying to put in as many details as possible because she knew that Jimmy would help the old Marshal in the trial against Gibson.
Half an hour later Lou arrived and as soon as she saw Jimmy she threw her arms around his neck and said: "Welcome back brother, we missed you very much! Too bad you had to come back for such an unpleasant business! "
"It's nice for me to see you again Lou, how are you and Kid?"
"We are fine and we hope to have you over for dinner one of these evenings"
"Only if you make sure your cooking has improved", laughed Jimmy.
"Jimmy Hichock, don't you dare you know?" Lou replied jokingly.
Jane watched them with envy, she would have liked to have friends there too, she missed her friends a lot in Italy but she could not write to them, risking to reveal to her family where she was. She hoped that sooner or later she would be able to become friends with these beautiful people.
Suddenly she had an idea: "What do you think about stopping for dinner? You could go get Kid and Rachel, so you can stay a little longer with Buck too, even if he's unconscious. I'm sure hearing your voices will do him good "
"For me it's a great idea! Your kitchen will certainly not be worse than Lou's ", Jimmy said, continuing to make fun of his friend.
"Hichock, you're taking a big risk!" Lou reacted
"Wait until you taste my food before expressing yourself!" Jane joked.
"Oh oh, but what have you young women got? Don't you love cooking for your men anymore? "Jimmy asked jokingly.
"Well, we have other virtues, don't we Lou?"
"Yes and Jane is very good at embroidering, she does it as a job to support herself", said Lou.
"Oh, finally someone who carries out female activities!" and this time he deserved a punch in the stomach from Lou.
Jimmy offered to go get Kid and Rachel to surprise them, while Lou helped Jane with dinner.
They then went to Buck's room for massages and were pleased to note that the fever had dropped again.
At dinner time, Kid, Rachel and Jimmy arrived and after going to say hello to Buck, they all sat down at the table.
The evening was pleasant. Jimmy recounted his adventures and spent some time with Cody and remembered some of the funniest episodes of their life at the time of the Pony Express, amusing Jane and also including stories about Ike, Noah, who died too young, and Buck.
Jane listened with pleasure to all those stories and was especially attracted to those involving Buck because they could help her to better understand his character and how to behave with him when he woke up.
They were very late and when they were gone, Jane tidied up the room and dishes and went upstairs to check on Buck before going to sleep. It still seemed to her that he was moving a bit and hoped for his sudden awakening.
The next morning, she got up, got ready, and went into Buck's room again before breakfast. She touched his forehead and felt completely free of fever. She was happy and went down to breakfast, leaving some biscuits aside, as if she had the feeling that Buck might wake up at any moment since he no longer had a fever.
She went back upstairs to draw back the curtains from Buck's room window, to let in some sun, then approached him to sit next to him as was her custom to work. A few minutes passed and she felt a movement. She stopped sewing and looked at Buck intently and saw that he was moving his fingers. She looked at his face and saw movements on his eyelids too: he was probably waking up.
She dropped the work from her lap, got up and sat down next to him, instinctively taking his hand. Perhaps from the warmth of the contact, Buck opened his eyes and blinked repeatedly.
Jane felt tears rise to her eyes. She looked at him and waited for him to set his eyes on her and when it happened after a few moments, she turned to him in a whisper and said: "Hello! Welcome back to us Buck, what a joy to see you awake "and tears rolled down her cheeks with happiness.
Buck looked at her dazed and tried to speak and get up but she stopped him by putting a finger to his lips and gently pushing him onto the pillow.
"Don't force yourself Buck, you have been unconscious for many days due to a high fever, take it easy and don't try to get up, you may feel pain", she told him softly.
"Water please", he said in a faint voice.
"Sure, I'll bring it to you right away" and took a glass of water which he slowly brought to the man's lips.
He struggled to drink and coughed as the liquid ran into his stomach.
"Slowly, you have to get used to feeding and drinking again, take small sips" and she gently raised his head helping him to take small sips of water.
He let himself be helped and then with extreme difficulty said to her: "Thank you. Where am I, who are you? What am I doing here? "
"Calm down Buck, don't worry, there's time for explanations, first you need to recover a bit. You can call me Jane and you are at my house, you have been sick in recent days and the doctor has suggested not to move from here for your own good ".
She decided not to refer to the attack he had suffered, in case he doesn't remember it.
Buck tried to move and groaned in pain.
Jane looked at him gently and helped him get up a little, then said: "You have wounds on your body, that's why you are so sore. The doctor will come by shortly and will tell you more ".
"What happened?"
"Now don't worry about what happened, think about getting your strength back"
"Thank you, you are very kind" and he had a flash of that girl's green eyes which were probably the last thing he had seen before falling unconscious, but he couldn't remember anything else.
"Are you hungry, do you want to try to eat some cookies?"
"Yes, thank you, if it's not too much trouble."
He was trying to piece together what had happened but he couldn't, maybe it was really too early yet.
"I'll go down and get them"
Jane went to the kitchen and took the cookies she had left aside and also heated some water to prepare some tea if he wanted to.
She put everything on a tray and brought it to him.
Buck tried to eat a piece of biscuit but his mouth hurt. Jane helped him a little and slowly managed to eat one and drink some tea.
"Thanks for your help, I don't know how to reciprocate"
"Your awakening is the best reward. I've been very sorry for you. Me and your friends too. In the afternoon I really think you will receive a visit from Rachel, Lou and Kid and… Jimmy ".
"How do you know them? Have we met before? "
"Do not get upset, everything in its time."
Then she heard a knock and said: "I think it's the doctor, I'm going to open the door"
Jane descended the stairs and greeted Dr. Pearson with the news of Buck's awakening. She informed him of his state and conditions and then they went up to him.
"Good morning Buck, I'm happy to see you awake, it was time"
"Good morning doctor, but what happened?"
"Let's not worry about this now, I want to visit you and see your condition".
Buck tried to get up a little more, albeit with great pain, and realized he was naked under the covers. He blushed and Jane noticed, so she said: "Don't worry, your privacy hasn't been violated. Now I leave you, so the doctor can fully examine you. See you later".
The doctor made a very thorough examination and then called Jane.
"Things are going very well. The fever has disappeared and the wounds are also healing. He still has a lot of bruises but those will pass too. Jane, continue with the massages and medicines, except for those against fever, they are no longer needed. I'll be back tomorrow morning as usual. Buck, you have to thank this girl if you're still here and you're healing so fast, her care has been providential. Jane, I would avoid moving him again, until he will be able to get up on his own and start walking again, when the groin wound is healed, if it's not a huge burden for you "
"Oh no doctor, don't worry. Buck can stay as long as necessary to heal. Thanks for everything and see you tomorrow "
"Thank you doctor", Buck added.
Jane walked him to the door and then went back to Buck.
"How do you feel?"
"Dazed. I think I have to thank you for an infinity of things even if I don't remember what happened "
"You heard the doctor, now it's not important, just try to think about getting well"
"My clothes…"
"I threw them away because they were unusable. I took the liberty of buying you some shirts and pants and then your friends will bring some of your clothes. Ah, don't hate me, but I had to shorten your hair because it was impossible to untangle and wash and I was afraid it might infect the wounds "
"Oh, thank you, that's no problem, they'll grow back. So you washed and cared for me ... "
"Yes, but as I told you before, you don't have to worry, as you can see your virtue has not been violated ..."
Buck found he had a towel over his private parts and blushed.
"I'm sorry that you have to take charge of me and that I have to invade your home"
"Don't worry, I don't mind having some company"
"Even if I'm a Kiowa?"
"And what's the problem? I like to know new cultures, indeed, now that you have woken up you can tell me a little bit about your traditions, so the recovery time will pass faster, if you want "
"Thank you" and gave her a shy smile that warmed her heart.
Jane was happy that he had woken up and did not find him as grumpy as they had told him, but hse knew it was a matter of time: now he remembered nothing of the attack, but as soon as everything would return to his mantle, the problems would come. She would think about it at the right moment.
"Now I'm going downstairs to do some chores, so you can rest. Call me if you need "
"Thanks again"
Jane smiled at him and left the room; Buck tried to remember what had happened but his head ached and he decided to listen to the advice of the doctor and Jane. The memories would return.
Rachel arrived in the afternoon and when she learned that Buck had woken up, she ran upstairs to hug him, trying not to hurt him. Jane had told her that he did not remember anything and therefore did not address the subject. Rachel then went to break the news to the others who in turn went to greet their friend.
They decided that by now, since Buck was able to lift himself, Lou and Rachel's fixed commitment to massages was no longer necessary, they would drop by when they could.
In the evening, Jane dined in her room with Buck so as not to leave him alone. They were very embarrassed and didn't talk much, but Jane understood the gratitude Buck felt towards her for his kindness and the way he looked at her. Her heart pounded as she approached him and Jane had to admit to herself that she was starting to feel something for him.
She decided not to think about it for the moment and to focus on his recovery and reaction when he remembered everything.
After dinner she asked him if he needed anything and told him that even during the night he could call her for any need.
Buck thanked her and they went to sleep. During the night Jane was awakened by an atrocious and almost inhuman scream.
She immediately rushed into Buck's room and found him relieved and with a twisted face.
"Buck what's up, are you sick?"
"Go away", he yelled at her fiercely.
"Buck you scare me, what happened?"
"Leave me alone please, go away, I remembered everything. I find myself in these conditions due to the aggression of Gibson and his men and I don't have to explain to you why they treated me like this! "
"Buck, I'm sorry, I…" and she tried to get closer to him.
"Go away, I don't need anyone's pity, I know how to get by on my own, I've always done it and I'll have to do it for the rest of my life. As soon as I manage to stand up, I will free you from this burden "
"It's not a burden Buck and it's not my pity, I want to help you"
"I told you I don't need it, I want to be alone"
"Okay, I'll go back to my room, see you in the morning, but know that I'm here if you change your mind"
Buck did not answer her and turned his face away. When Jane closed the door, he collapsed on the bed and began to cry like he hadn't in years. He had been humiliated as never before in life and he knew that this was his destiny, he had to be alone and not make relationships, it would not make sense. He was extremely grateful to that girl for her help and kindness, he remembered that her eyes were the last thing he saw before he passed out and the first when he woke up, eyes that made him feel safe and almost loved, but he could not and should not become attached to her, absolutely.
Jane closed the door and listened to Buck's desperate cry. Her heart was bleeding and she cried too. She stayed there until she heard it stop and realized that he had fallen asleep. She went back to her room and did not sleep. The scene she had witnessed had broken her heart.