A difficult man
Chapter 6
The next morning Jane got up happy and as soon as breakfast was ready she went to Buck and found him smiling.
"Good morning Buck, do you want to have breakfast here or would you rather go down?"
"Good morning to you, Jane. Did you sleep well?"
"Yes, thank you" and she smiled at him. She was not used to his kindness and was a bit stunned.
"If that's okay with you, I'd rather have breakfast here, I want to save my strength for the bath and tonight's dinner. Will you keep me company anyway? "
"Sure, with pleasure. I go down to get the tray and the medicines ".
Buck waited for her and realized that he was anxious for her to come back, he wanted to spend as much time as possible with her, but on the other hand he was really afraid of letting go, what had happened still burned him a lot and he hadn't changed his mind about relationships.
The two had breakfast together and then Jane went to do some chores, while Buck devoted himself to leafing through the books that Jane had brought him, trying to understand a few words of the Italian language.
The day passed quietly and in the afternoon, after preparing the table and the necessary for dinner, based on Italian dishes, so as to show her traditions to her new friends, she prepared the tub and hot water and went to Buck.
"Are you ready to make yourself beautiful for your friends?"
"Why, am not I already? ", He replied jokingly.
"Sure, you're beautiful, but we can still do something better," she replied according to the game, but actually thinking he was very beautiful. The marks were almost completely gone and his features were really nice and fine. She loved the cut of his eyes and mouth and found herself lingering a little too much on the details of his face and body that, thanks to the massages she gave him, she knew almost every inch.
She walked him slowly to the tub and helped him sit up wearing only his underwear which she kept cutting to make him more comfortable.
"I can do it alone, thanks"
"Really? With that arm still hanging around your neck? I don't think so, you still have to have a little patience and that too will heal. You heard the doctor. Leave it to me, you relax "
Buck settled into the tub without protest and let her wash him gently and carefully. He liked her gentle touch and therefore didn't protest much when she told him he couldn't do it alone.
He thought to himself: "I don't have to get attached, I don't have to experience these sensations, it's useless, there can never be anything between us, I can't hurt her and force her to a life with me, with all the risks it entails. But she is so beautiful and sweet, how can I detach myself from her? "
While these thoughts were running through his mind, Jane finished washing his body and moved on to his hair. She massaged them carefully and combed them delicately, so that Buck relaxed so much that he almost fell asleep. Jane noticed this and lingered a little longer in the head massage, so as to make him totally relax. When she was done, she helped him out and wrapped a towel around his body, dried him, and then helped him sit up. She handed him another pair of clean underwear, and when Buck struggled to put them on, she helped him get dressed. She made him wear the same trousers as the night before and a white shirt, dried his hair and accompanied him downstairs.
Soon all his friends arrived and hugged him cautiously and gave him a big party. Rachel had made her best dessert, Jimmy had brought a bottle of good wine, and Lou and Kid some cookies. They sat down to table and the evening was very pleasant, so much so that Buck could hardly think about his "accident" all the time. They chatted about everything, carefully avoiding making references to Gibson and his men. Jane was very happy, she had almost found a new family that made her miss the one she had left in Italy less.
When it got a little late, they all said goodbye and Jane asked Rachel if she could bring some books to Buck to pass the time and Rachel said she would bring them to him the next day.
After saying goodbye to his friends, Buck was accompanied by Jane to his room and before she left, he said to her: "Thank you, you literally brought me back to life. You are a fantastic woman and the man you give your love to will be lucky ".
"Thanks Buck, I believe that the woman to whom you will hand over your heart will also be lucky and do not let anyone make you believe that you have nothing to offer, believe in yourself, believe in your qualities and in your big heart and you will make that woman a queen. Goodnight "and closed the door. She leaned against it and sighed: how would she have wanted to tell him that she wanted to be that woman, that she had gradually fallen in love with him, but she couldn't do it, she had to hide her feelings so as not to make things difficult and risk that she would close again back into himself.
Buck, for his part, was very impressed by Jane's words. How could she say that a woman would be lucky to be by his side? Even if he had loved her with all his heart, this would not have been enough, his love could not have protected her from the wickedness of the people. At that moment he understood that he wanted to get out of bed, run to her and tell her that he wanted her in his life, but he couldn't do it, he couldn't drag a woman so full of life and quality into the abyss, it wasn't right. He thought that maybe they could just be friends and keep dating when he could go home, but then he told himself again that the sooner he would break away from her the better it would be for both of them.
His eyes filled with tears, he stretched out and fell asleep with so much pain in his heart.
The next morning Jane timidly knocked on Buck's door to see if he was awake and found him trying to get out of bed by himself.
"Buck Cross, what are you doing?"
"I'm trying to be independent, I feel more and more a burden"
"The doctor said little by little, you don't have to try too hard or you risk frustrating your progress. Let me help you"
"Okay" and he let himself be helped to prepare.
"Do you want to go down to breakfast or do you prefer to have it here?"
"If that's okay with you I'd like to try making all the meals down"
"Of course, then maybe you can sit down for a while in an armchair and come back here when you are tired. If you didn't have to remain hidden I would also take you out on the veranda but for now it is not prudent ".
The two went downstairs and as they were having breakfast Buck said to her: "Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course"
"Did you really think what you said last night?"
"Oh my God, what did I say, I won't have uttered compromising words, have I?"
Buck gave a big laugh and she exclaimed: "Oh oh, what do we have here? A huge smile. Mission accomplished!"
"What mission?" he asked confused.
"Well, that of finally getting a beautiful smile from you. It was time. You have such a beautiful smile! "
Buck blushed a little and then replied: "You're incredible, but how do you do it?"
"Fruit of hard work with you" and smiled.
"Seriously, what were you referring to?"
"What you said about the woman I will love. Do you really think I could ever make someone happy? "
"I told you Buck, you just have to want it. Who knows how many girls would like to know you more and spend time with you but your character keeps them away "
"Oh I really don't think there is a queue in the city"
"Then the girls here are silly and they don't understand anything about men. Is it possible that you don't care about anyone? "
"Well, actually there is one, but I don't want to involve her in my problems"
Jane felt her heart tighten, but continued: "Here we go again. Tell it her, let her know that you love her and don't decide for her, let her decide whether or not this challenge is worth it. "
"What if she doesn't want to?"
"She would be stupid and not worthy of your love"
"Do you really think that?"
"Yep"
"The women I fell in love with didn't think so"
"And in fact they weren't the right ones. When you meet her you will recognize her. Indeed, maybe it is this mysterious woman "
Buck looked into her eyes and she felt dying, she knew she had no hope.
He decided to test the waters.
"And you? Have you ever been in love, if I may ask you? "
"Actually I don't think so, but I have feelings for a person who certainly doesn't reciprocate." Buck also felt a tight stomach and a touch of jealousy.
"Do you know for sure?"
"No, but I know that he considers me little or nothing"
"He is an idiot then because you are anything but a woman of nothing".
Hearing these words, Jane wanted to scream at him that he was the man she was thinking about day and night and Buck was going to go against all his principles.
"Jane, maybe ...", but they heard a knock on the door.
Jane went to the door and saw Teaspoon.
"Welcome back Teaspoon, come in, Buck is here having breakfast"
"Son!" Teaspoon exclaimed and held him in a long hug that Buck heartily reciprocated.
"How nice to see you on your feet again. How are you?"
"The arm still needs some time, but slowly I'm walking again"
"Fantastic"
"How did Teaspoon go?"
"Well guys, the Governor is here, safe from Gibson's eyes. As soon as you release your testimony, we can proceed with the arrest and trial and Buck will be free "
"It's wonderful!" Jane exclaimed.
"Are you ready Buck?" Asked Teaspoon.
"I wasn't, but Jane convinced me. When will the confrontation take place? "
"Even this afternoon if you feel like it"
"It's OK for me. What do you think Buck? "
Buck nodded.
"Well, as soon as Kid manages to free himself with an excuse, we'll meet here if it's not a problem for you Jane, so we'll be more sheltered from prying eyes"
"Absolutely yes, also because Buck can't move yet"
"Perfect then."
"Teaspoon, do you want to stay for breakfast? "
"Gladly, thank you daughter. You don't mind if I call you that, do you? By now I consider you one of the family given what you did for Buck, don't I, son? "
Buck nodded awkwardly.
"Thanks Teaspoon, it's an honor for me", Jane said with tears in her eyes. "Take a seat then".
Teaspoon and Buck talked for a while while Jane fixed some things and then made an appointment for the afternoon.
Buck was very nervous and hardly touched anything at lunch, but Jane tried to reassure him.
When the men arrived, Jane welcomed them into the living room and brought them some tea and biscuits.
"So Buck, do you want to tell me what happened, even though I know it's difficult for you? Then I'll hear Miss Jane's version, we'll build the case and I can go and arrest that scoundrel ", the Governor said.
Buck recounted what had happened with difficulty and Jane completed the missing part.
The Governor marked it all down and said to Kid: "Let's go get them. We won't say who the witnesses are until trial. I need a couple of days to organize it and then we can start "
"Okay Governor, thank you", Buck said and Jane echoed him.
They said goodbye and Jane said to Buck when they were gone: "You'll see that everything will be fine and soon you can leave this bad story behind, even though I know it will always remain with you as an indelible mark"
"Yes", Buck said with a sigh, and Jane took his hand. Their touch almost made them jump, but they said nothing so as not to complicate things.
During dinner Jane tried to distract Buck with tales of her life in Italy and then accompanied him to bed.
Neither of them was able to sleep, their heads were full of thoughts related to the upcoming trial but also of what they had said in the morning, or rather of what they had not said but would have liked to scream at each other.