A/N: The song was freaking perfect, chicas. I cannot stress just how much adding this chapter in and adding the song made this thing come alive. :) Hope you're taking care of yourselves. Also, Snixxxmas popped all the way off 100k before the deadline. Amazing.
B.S. (Remix) Jhene Aiko feat. Kehlani
Santana's POV
I'm not sure what came over me, but after my meeting the next night, I snapped.
Quinn treated me with kid gloves, but I had been through worse than Brittany S. Lopez (nee Pierce).
I'd allowed myself a full day to work through my emotions, but then I was ready to confront her, and with Quinn by my side and Britt's parents at home, it would be ten times easier.
"How are you feeling after that meeting?" She asked me as we made our way back to the car with my mind already set on what I needed to do.
My whole axis had been tilted because of Brittany, and I was so over it.
"I need to see her."
I opened the door and climbed behind the wheel, feeling determined.
"Are you sure?"
"Abso-fucking-loutely." I muttered and then gunned the car into drive.
Quinn quickly strapped in and held onto the door.
"San, please slow down."
"My bad."
The tires squealed as I hit the brakes and pulled into a spot outside of the Pierce's.
It made me feel relieved to see both her parents' cars and her pickup truck. It was dinner time, and if tradition held, it was spaghetti night. Great!
"San, are you thinking clearly about this?"
"Crystal. You coming?"
"Yeah, of course."
I climbed out of the car and stormed up the front steps—Quinn's soft footsteps just behind me.
And even though I had been given a key when I was 16, I still knocked.
Even though Quinn had told Susan what happened, I hadn't heard from her. Maybe she thought I was mad at her or was waiting on me...either way, today was the last time that Britt got to control any part of our narrative.
I'd had enough.
Rob answered the door and grinned when he saw me.
"My girl, bring it in." He pulled me into a tight hug, and I just melted against him. Rob was one of the last father figures in my life, and I would never deny him a hug, no matter what dumb shit his daughter did.
"Susan and Brittany are upstairs arguing. It's been two days of them screaming at each other. What brings you by?"
"Can we talk?"
"Of course, let's do it out on the porch, though. I get the feeling their fighting will only make things worse."
"Ac-Actually, can you get them to come down. This is s-something I feel like I might lose my nerve on."
"Sure, come on in."
He held open the door for Quinn and me.
"Did you want me to go up and get them, Mr. Pierce?" Q asked, and he looked so relieved.
"Would you mind?"
"Not at all, be right back."
Once I was alone with Rob, his face got more serious.
"Have you met this fellow?"
"I have."
"What do you think, can I take him?"
Rob made a muscle, and I squeezed it.
"Definitely."
Rob grinned, and then he looked past me towards the stairs. When I turned around, three blondes came down the stairs, all looking flushed.
Even Quinn.
What had she walked in on?
Then I saw it, the way that Britt had a hand to her side and how Susan had red-tinged tissue in her hand.
"What the hell?" I said, looking straight at Brittany.
"You came back to me." She said, sounding so off that it made me cringe.
She was definitely not in a good place, which made this that much easier.
I moved over to Susan to check her hand, but she just leaned in, kissed my cheek, and then moved past me to the kitchen without a word.
"What did you do?"
"Mom's just mad about the razor. Don't worry about her. I'm the one that's bleeding, and I think I cut too deep."
"I looked at it, San, it's fine. Susan bandaged it."
My head hurt. I just gestured at the couch.
"Sit down, please." I demanded, and Britt nodded happily before moving to the couch and sitting next to her father.
She was super dopey, in fact, like junior year Britt...the same one who went from saying weird stuff to not talking for a whole month.
I was over all of it.
They watched me as I paced back and forth while trying to find the words that would convey exactly what I was feeling.
Only, Britt picked that moment to act like my wife again,
"Baby, you look pale. Have you eaten? Has she been eating, Quinnie?"
I ignored her and looked at her parents.
"You two have been so a-amazing to me. I have always tried to be open with you. Two d-days ago, B...she a-assaulted me...sexually." Susan bit her lip, but Rob got pale.
"I DID NOT! That wasn't rape. I was trying to get you to understand that I LOVE YOU. I want YOU." She said, her voice getting angrier.
Rob reached out and pulled Britt's hand into his lap, holding tight to it. He whispered harshly into her ear, and the change was immediate. She dropped her head, and her shoulders began to shake.
"Keep going, San." Q said, knowing how easy it was for me to break when Brittany started crying.
"I know her in-intention wasn't vicious, but it made me feel tr-trapped and scared. I don't plan on pressing ch-charges. I just want her to leave town. Go back to New York and work, get some help. So I can move on."
"But I just want you, Santana, we were going to raise a family together. Our own little family, and now I'm going to add to it, please?" She sounded pitiful, and I wrapped my arms around myself.
"I also don't want her n-near the kids until she is better. I d-don't trust her."
"That's understandable, honey. We are going to make sure that Brittany gets the help that she needs." Susan assured me.
"I'd still like it if you two took the kids. As long as she isn't here."
"You make no fucking sense! I deny them, and you get mad. I want to spend time with them, and you stop me?! Make up your damned mind, Santana!"
I had been looking away from her, but now my anger was palpable, I stared her down, and she deflated.
"I want a family with you more th-than anything, but you aren't yourself right now, and that makes me sad, Britt. If this is who you are now, I can't be a part of that. I need peace. I need the kids to have a real ch-childhood. I'm here when you are ready, but I need you to be r-really ready for what it means to be with the kids and me."
"Making myself smaller so you can be bigger. Right?"
"No."
"NO?!"
I took a deep breath, "You aren't ready for me yet. Right person, wrong time. I won't hold you back. Always and only me needs to be real; you c-can't go off and screw around and then get mad when I do. I h-have needs just like you do. I don't need to feel like I'm with Marco...I need my Britt Britt. Medicated. There are drugs you c-can take while pregnant. You n-need help. Please, B?"
"Yeah, okay. Sure, Santana. You act like I didn't see you all over Ari in my fucking face, and I still did my best to swallow that and save her life. You go off for a few months, and suddenly you are better than me?" Britt rolled her eyes and then just threw her head back, tears streaming over her cheeks. Then she was looking at me again, with so much hurt and anger. "He's so much better than you. I cum so hard when he goes down on me, and I never have to fucking babysit him. He is taking care of me in ways that you never could, and I can't wait to get out of here so I can feel like a woman again, not the child that all of you treat me like! Enjoy your life."
You are my life...I wanted to say, but that didn't ring true anymore. I was fighting back the tears as she lashed out.
Britt ripped her hands away from her dad and was on her feet, storming past me and going upstairs. I stood there in the silence and then jumped when her bedroom door slammed.
"I uh...need to get back to the baby. Did you still want them this weekend?" I asked Susan, and she nodded.
"Yes."
"Okay."
I turned on the spot and left the house, feeling the overwhelming emotions threatening to bubble over, but I wouldn't break.
Not yet.
Four Days Later...
The time between getting to Lima and needing to pack up my shit and move out of Sue's house since she was leaving for cheer camp for the last two weeks in August, came much faster than I could have imagined.
"You can still stay here if you need to. It's a neutral place without any bad influences." It was weird to see Sue nervous, but as I stood there, folding my laundry into my suitcase, she kept throwing out options for me.
"No. I need to start relying on myself. With Britt gone and her p-parents taking the kids this weekend, I will get a start on doing just that."
"You'll keep the key at least?"
"Sure. Thanks, Sue, for everything."
"You'll do alright, Lopez. My offer still stands for you to make the trip to the Poconos with us...last chance."
"I'll be okay, Q is here for a few more weeks, and I have my in-laws plus Mami comes back from Bermuda soon. It will be good to get some b-breathing room and just be a mom. That's really what I love more than anything, just being their mom."
"That's good to hear, and you'll be good with Tor for two weeks? She's got another year before high school, and I don't want to force her into the cheer camp just yet."
"Yup, it will be good to have some time with her too."
Sue gave me some guidelines to follow when it came to Tor and not letting her get too lazy. Since we'd literally be across the street from the track, she expected us to keep up our running schedule. I had no problem with that. One of the best things about being back has been that I have rediscovered my love of running every day.
It's been almost as good as therapy.
Tor carried stuff into the apartment excitedly; given a choice between getting two weeks of chill time with me versus two weeks of cheer camp at Sue's side, it was no surprise that she was happy to couch surf at mine.
Sue was leaving early the next morning, so she said her goodbyes that night, and then the moment she was gone, Tor turned to Quinn and me.
"Can we get take out?"
"Not yet, Tor, that woman is still in town, and she will know. Trust us." Q said, handing her a menu for Breadstix, "This is as close as you can get for now. She won't know what you ordered, so go with something green. We'd always get pesto so that when she asked us if we had something green, we could honestly say, yes, we had."
"Don't give up all of our secrets, Q." I teased, and she just rolled her eyes.
"Someone has to."
Sunday, August 18th, 2013
Hi Henry,
What a difference a few days make. This week, I have argued with Britt. She's hurt me.
I had the FASTEST fling in the world with Sugar before she fucked me over, and now I'm spending the first night in almost a year in my apartment.
I know that Quinn is right across the hallway and Tor is sleeping on the couch, but it still feels like I'm living on my own terms.
I have been to a meeting every night since things went down with Britt, and it's definitely helped keep me from losing my mind.
Plus, my license exam is this week, so studying has been insane.
I plan to drive around town and see what would be a good property to buy and flip. I have a few options.
This is probably not the job that the rehab had in mind for me, but hey, it will be a new focus for me.
That counts, I've checked.
I have a full day tomorrow of pampering Tor, so I need to get some sleep.
Things are looking up, Henry, for sure.
-Santana
Six days later...
"What letter is this?"
"A!" Isaac screamed, clapping his hands.
"And this one?"
"L!"
I sat in front of the coffee table with Isaac standing next to me, stabbing his pudgy little finger at the giant poster board that Q had bought him. Daniela was banging her little feet against the piano on her play mat, making a masterpiece for me. It suddenly hit me that this, right here, was unimaginable back when I was in this very spot, pregnant with Isaac and feeling lonely.
It felt good to spend my Saturday with my babies, and while I felt a little sad that Britt wasn't with us, I knew it was for the best.
"MAMI!" I looked away from the baby and down at Isaac, who was glaring at me.
"Yes?"
"This one!" He was asking me to tell him a letter.
"I." I said to him, "I is for Isaac."
"Izzy." He said, pointing to himself. "I...Izzy."
"Yes, I is for Isaac." I pointed to him, "And Izzy."
"Yes." He said, happy that I understood what he meant.
How did he have so much freaking personality this young?
Was this all me?
The timer went off on my watch, and I knew I was in for a fight, since Isaac was already grumpy.
"It's naptime."
Isaac folded up his arms and stuck out his lip at me.
"No pouting. Naptime." I said again, pulling out diapers and wipes from the side table. "Come on, let me ch-change you."
"No." He said. I rolled my eyes and hoisted him up anyway as he kicked and screamed at me. "No!"
He was in a full tantrum, rolling and kicking as I managed to change him into a fresh diaper, relieved that he didn't pee on me.
"You are cranky, little man."
"No! No! No!"
"Yes. Yes. Yes." I said back. "You sit here until you can be nice." I said to him, and I knew he would be pissed, but he would not move. He glared, but he just sat still.
When I brought the baby to the couch, geared up to nurse her, she yelped and then cried.
I looked over and watched as Isaac hit her leg twice more.
"Oh, hell, no. We do NOT hit."
There was a knock at the door, and then Quinn poked her head into the apartment.
"Everything okay?"
"He hit her." I said over the baby's screams.
"Need help?" She asked, even though I had expressly asked her to distract Tor and let me do my mom thing.
"Just for now. I want to get her down."
Quinn came over and picked up Isaac, he kicked and screamed, but she just kept right on moving. They went into the kitchen, and his crying stopped.
The baby was latched on, so I got up and walked into the kitchen. My son was sitting in Quinn's lap, drinking a sippy cup of water.
"Keep going, Izzy; you'll run out of tears if you don't drink more."
He drank and nodded.
"Is that your trick?" I asked, and Quinn smirked.
"Actually, it's Britt's. It's what Susan used to do with them."
"I'll have to r-remember that."
Isaac put down his cup and then leaned against Quinn's chest.
"You tired, buddy?" She whispered, and he glared at the baby and me but nodded.
"Yes."
"You want me to put you in bed?"
"No." He whimpered, and then she followed his line of sight.
"Do you want Mami to put you in bed?"
He nodded and reached his arms out for me.
My first baby, all he wanted was my comfort, how could I deny him.
I stretched my arm, and Quinn lifted him onto my hip. He put his head on my shoulder when I had a secure hold on him. He hummed while I held the baby to my boob.
The sight must have been insane.
But it made me feel so empowered.
Like a REAL mom.
Quinn kissed my cheek and then ruffled Isaac's little head.
"Going with Tor to get some frozen pizzas and snacks for our movie night. Are you going to be okay? Do you need anything else?"
"Ice cream...Moose tracks." I said, and she grinned.
"Say less."
Sunday, September 8th, 2013,
H-
I have spent weeks planning out today and just what I'm going to say to everyone.
With Mami coming back around the same time that Quinn left, it's been fun seeing her every day this week and letting her be Abuela while I have hustled my way through some tough deals.
Now, it's time to bring the family in and let them know that I'm on my grind.
Also, I know that Ari will be there, and she'll report back to B. We still haven't talked but I know it's for the best. I just hope that she's getting help.
My stomach has butterflies and nothing is helping to calm me.
I even showered and put on make up for this family lunch. Hopefully, nobody ruins this for me.
-S
I was anxious as I queued up my video chat. I had requested the whole family get together in New York, Quinn included for some huge news. It had been my first week completely alone; Tor was back with Sue, and Quinn was at school again, so it was just me, Lima, and my managed expectations.
The kids were in their high chairs behind me, occupied with cereal and the television.
A knock sounded on the door, and I rushed to answer it with an ear tuned on the kids.
I pulled the door open, and Susan, Rob, and Mami bulldozed in with the food I'd asked for.
We were having this Sunday lunch at my request, virtually hosted by yours truly.
Everyone in New York looked anxious, but the people here were prepared.
At least my in-laws were.
"So Mija, what's this news?"
"You're not pregnant again, are you?" Sandra called out, and everyone had an opinion about that, but I held out my hands.
"No. I'm pretty sure that I'm done having kids."
"Tell us. We've been on pins and needles."
"Well, I am officially a realtor." There was applause, but I held up my hands again. "But that's not all."
"Before you continue, just know that we are all so proud of you, Ana." Ari said with a dimpled grin.
"Thanks. So, I have also been working on my business license with some guidance from B-Burt Hummel. I bought a strip mall, I am using the only available space for my own business. So y-yeah, I'm officially a business owner. Sal checked everything. It's a good investment."
"What business are you opening?"
"The Rage Cage, you can go there and break dishes and old stuff. The broken stuff will be s-sustainably recycled and then have dessert afterward."
"That sounds awesome!" Q said. "I can't wait to see it!"
"Does this mean you're staying in Lima?" Ceily asked, looking confused.
"For a bit, yeah. I want to get this place off the ground."
Sandra hit her glass with her knife and raised her glass, everyone on that side of the camera, and this one raised their glasses, and then there was laughter when Isaac lifted his sippy cup.
"To my baby sister, who is taking the darkest and hardest experiences and turning them into valuable assets. May God cover her and keep her in all things."
"Here, Here!"
Mami wrapped me in a hug and whispered against my neck, "Your Papi would be so proud!"
Monday, September 9, 2013
H-
Today, I am going to plan out my vision for the Rage Cage with Mami.
She's excited that THIS is what I'm doing with my time and not getting into trouble.
I couldn't agree more.
As long as we don't talk about that drama between us when I was in rehab or about Brittany, we seem to stay in a good place.
I'm not banking on it lasting long, but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.
TTFN
-S
"Thanks for helping, Z." I said to Azimio as we painted the lobby of my new spot.
"Glad to help. This is going to be the hot date spot."
"I hope so."
It had taken only a week to get a designer in here with her contractor to redo everything to my specifications.
She'd wanted to charge me a crazy amount to paint and furnish the place. I rolled my eyes and fired her ass. I knew her number, and once she understood that I had a lot of money to spend, she started up charging me.
So once the drywall was done and the glass front replaced, I bought my own paint and knocked down the door of someone who I knew would love to be my right hand.
Azimio was studying business at Ohio State, commuting the hour and a half so he could work and help out his family. From what I could tell, he was just doing minimum wage jobs, and well, I felt like I wanted to help him be and do more.
So I offered him a chance to run the Rage Cage, and he said yes before I even settled on a salary.
"Are you sure you want me to run it?"
"Yes. You are m-majoring in business, and what better experience than running your own spot?"
"You turned out so dope, you know that?"
"I know."
"I wish my bro had places like this when shit got hard, you know?"
"Yeah, I miss him. When I look at Isaac, God, it's like looking at Ian."
"So when do I get to hang out with my godson?"
"G-Godson?"
"Well yeah, you named him after me, plus Ian isn't here anymore, and the kid does need a male figure in his life that gets him."
"He has a grandfather."
He gave me a look.
"Oh, you mean, one of color?" I asked.
"So, when?"
"Do you even know what to do with a one-year-old?"
"I have a nephew that's around his age, and I watch him all the time."
"Well, he d-doesn't know you. How about you bring your nephew over? Let me see how he is with you first."
"Sounds fair."
The rest of the week was spent side by side with Z, hiring a bunch of teenie boppers to serve ice cream and run the stalls.
It was good to see Azimio light up when I would defer to him when there was a question about work hours and expectations.
One of the best lessons that I learned from Sue and a little from Ian was that if you treated people well and showed them that you value their worth, their loyalty is yours forever.
The idea of a Lima loser was flawed, my mother grew up here and left for New York, just like me, but she came home when faced with settling down. Now I had done a similar thing. When it was time to re-center myself, I didn't go to a yurt or an ashram...or a halfway house, I came home.
I mean, I didn't want to stay here forever, but I did want to make it a place worth coming home to.
"Any plans for the weekend?" Z asked me after we decided on our opening day crew the following Wednesday.
"The baby will be 9 months this Friday, thinking I m-might make the day special. Otherwise...meetings, hanging with Tor."
"I miss her. How is she?"
"Great. She's been helping me with the kids, and we talk about Ian a lot."
"Good, I'm glad he's not being forgotten."
"Never. He was in my soul group, and we are connected for eternity." I said and then went back to filling out payroll stuff on the office computer.
"Thanks again, Santana, for everything."
I had a skip in my step as I made my way to the car, everything was falling in place, and I had only one place that I wanted to be.
The meeting had already started when I arrived, so I just slipped into a row in the back and grinned when my meeting buddy moved her bag so I could sit down.
We'd both gone to meetings when our schedules aligned, and we almost always ended up at the same ones.
The consistency was great. Even if we hadn't met outside of the meetings, it was good to feel like I had someone in the trenches with me.
I was in such a stellar mood and still hung up on giving everyone the benefit of the doubt that I decided to switch it up today.
As the meeting was ending, I reached out and touched her arm.
"Do you want to grab a coffee with me?" I asked her, and she actually blushed.
Had our connection just been gaydar?
Hmm.
A thought.
She looked at her phone and then shrugged.
"My sitter is paid for the next hour, I was gonna go for a run, but coffee is good."
"A run? Shit, if I had my stuff, I'd join you." I said, and she winked.
"Let's see how coffee goes, and maybe I'll take you up on that."
I felt HOT as we walked outside the church, and then the heavens opened up, and I was cooled down immediately.
"Look at that. Coffee sounds like a Godsend suddenly." She said, and then we ran across the street and burst through the Lima Bean doors.
We shivered in the a/c as we made our way to the counter.
"Hi, Santana."
"Karofsky," I said, and then I turned to my guest. "I'm paying. What do you want?"
She didn't even pretend to put up a fight about my paying.
"The biggest hot chocolate you've got, Dave, and add a shot from my top drawer." She winked at him and then nudged me. "Get whatever YOU want. It's on me."
I looked her up and down.
"Is this your store, hotshot?"
"Yup, this used to be my dad's. He has a bunch of these little kitschy places. We have the CoCo Bean in Columbus, the Red Bean in Cleveland, and we just opened the Sidney Bean 'bout forty minutes south outside Dayton."
"Couldn't get Kidney Bean?"
"Nope, apparently that's the name of their dialysis center."
"No, shit?"
"Yeah, I know."
"Are you two done ordering?" Someone asked from behind us, and I realized that I hadn't ordered, that Dave was waiting on me looking impatient but wasn't about to interrupt his boss.
"Oh, I'll just have a Chai with Almond milk." I said to him, and he rolled his eyes.
"Hey now, David, manners." She said, and he actually apologized to me.
"Sorry." He muttered.
"Yeah manners, David." I said.
We headed to a booth, and she sat across from me with the biggest grin on her face.
"So how do you know Dave?" She asked.
"He's my ex." She let out this cackle.
"He's gay."
"So am I...a lesbian, I mean."
Her eyebrow raised. "Glad to know my gaydar still works."
"Still working on mine." I admitted.
"I'm pansexual. I hate labels. They make me feel icky, but since we are tossing them around, I figure why not."
"Is that the one where you fall in love with the soul?" I asked, not sure about labels much myself.
"That's the one."
Our drinks came with some donuts and another apology from Dave before we went to be miserable somewhere else.
"So what does your name mean?" She asked me, and I shrugged.
"It's literally like a play on Saint Anna, who I h-have learned was Mary's mom."
"Huh...I did NOT know that."
"Me either."
"So you're Santana, hot girl from New York who's stuck in Lima for the duration of the year?"
"No. I'm from Lima. I went to McKinley. I moved to New York to satisfy a d-dream."
"And how's that going?"
"Not well."
"Hmm." She said and took a long sip of her coffee.
"What?"
"Well, you're young, you have time. What are you, 25?"
"20." I said, and she shook her head.
"A baby."
"Okay, Walker, you can't be more than what, 30?"
"I'm 41."
"No way."
"Yup."
"So tell me about you." I said as I enjoyed my Chai and the look of casual happiness on her face.
It reminded me of simpler times with Britt when she was just happy, and it rubbed off on me.
And it wasn't until that moment that I realized just how much I had missed that in my life.
It happened in the middle of the night. There was a persistent hiss and then a loud clang.
And I literally just sat there, waiting for a follow-up to the clang, but it was just a continuous hiss.
Then there was someone banging on the door.
I rolled out of bed, holding a bat, and feeling my body shake. Muscle memory is a bitch. All I could think was someone was coming for me and how much that was possible with Mr. Evans still walking around.
I deflated when I heard the irritated voice of my cranky neighbor who had lived in this building longer than I had been alive.
"Santana? It's raining in my apartment, hello?"
I pulled the door open, and there he stood in his soaked clothes glaring at me.
"Mr. Oliver, hi. Um...how bad is it?"
"IT. IS. RAINING. IN. MY. APARTMENT." He growled, and I ran through all the options that wouldn't involve me leaving my children alone in the apartment.
I reached over the counter and grabbed the key that Quinn had thrown there before she left for Lima.
"Stay in 3 tonight. I'll get a plumber over here right away to shut off the w-water. I'm sorry about this."
"This place needs a super!" He snapped at me.
"Right, I know."
The baby started crying, and I was still faced with this angry man, but then he softened when the crying got louder, and then there was Isaac adding to the chaos.
"Baby cry, Mami, baby cry!" Over and over.
"Look, I will get on the phone right away. Don't you have a cat to go get? Don't th-hey hate water? You should probably g-grab him and go to 3."
I got no argument after that. He took the keys and squelched away.
Fuck.
"How bad is it?" I asked Pito, of all of Marco's cousins, this was the one that looked the most like him, but like his sister, he was a sweetheart.
And a great plumber.
"You need serious work around here, Santana." I balanced Daniela on my hip while Isaac continued to sleep. The baby hadn't been able to soothe herself after the crying fit and was now hopelessly attached to me.
We'd walked the whole building, going into all six apartments, the whole first floor had flooded, but Mr. Oliver, who lived directly below me, had gotten the brunt of it. Aside from my apartment, Mr. Oliver's was the only other one that was occupied.
Lucky me.
"Can you do the work?"
"It's not going to be cheap. You'll need a general contractor too."
"Right, can you do the work?"
"I can do the plumbing and HVAC. The best contractor in town has gone underground since Sugar skipped town."
"Nobody tied to the Mottas." I said plainly, and he nodded.
"In that case, the next best is your father-in-law."
"Rob! Right!" I slapped my forehead.
Britt's dad had been having a hard time lately, feeling stuck between Britt and me...I also knew that he'd stopped taking jobs after Court died. Even though they needed the money, he couldn't stop breaking down on jobs.
That's why he'd been home, most people were passing on him, not wanting to put up with him breaking down, and the move to Chicago had stalled. How hadn't I thought to go to him for my properties?
"The leaking looks like it's been going on for a while. I'd re-pipe the whole building. I could have it done in a week if you are willing to invest in my crew."
"Okay. Can I give you a call after I get Rob in here to check out the damage?"
"Of course, I'll be ready to start whenever you're ready, and of course, if it's money issue, I would be willing to discount you."
I turned to him and tilted my head, had Ari not told him anything about me?
Damn, that girl was a fortress.
"Pito, I love you, but I want you to give me an estimate without a discount. Okay?"
"Really?"
"Absolutely."
Pito had shut off the water to my apartment to make the rain stop in Mr. Oliver's apartment.
As I walked across the hall to 3, I could hear the bullhorn from the field.
School had started, and the Cheerios were being drilled in an early Thursday morning practice, which was something that I missed way more than I ever thought I could.
I knocked on the door, and there was a shuffle, and then it creaked open.
"Hi, Mr. Oliver."
"Are you putting me out?" He asked the chain on the door in place.
"What? No. I just wanted you to know that the rain has stopped. I've hired a plumber, and I'm going to get a general contractor to make some needed improvements."
"I want this apartment." He said.
"You've leased apartment 1 for the last 20 years." I said.
"And it is not as nice as this one unless you can assure me that the upgrades will match this apartment. I want this one, and remember I am rent-controlled!"
He was gearing up for a fight that I wasn't willing to have.
This building was just extra income, and his rent was just a drop in the bucket.
"You can stay in this apartment until yours is completed. Otherwise, I will have to raise your rent since this apartment has two more bedrooms than yours does."
"Fine I'll keep mine."
"Do you need help moving some stuff up here?"
"How long will the renovations take?"
"A month." I gave him a ballpark without even talking to Rob about it. Frankly, I would throw 100 workers in that apartment to get it done quickly so that I didn't have this ass hat living across the hall from me.
"Then, yes."
"I will get someone to come to help you today."
"Good." And then the door slammed in my face.
Mr. Oliver was right about one thing, I definitely needed to get a Super. There was no way I was going to put up with his rude ass directly after this.
"Are you sure this is okay? I know you could go back to your mom's house easily." Susan said as she remade Britt's bed for me.
"No, it's fine. She is back and forth so much, I've only seen her twice in the month that I've been here."
"It will be good to have you here for a while. I can make sure you get more food in you and help you with the kids. It's the least I could do." She looked at her phone mid-conversation and furrowed her brow. Then she looked up at me wistfully. Being around the Pierces' for so many years prepared me for random comments. "A whole month has since she left. I thought things would be better by now. Have you talked to her?" She asked me.
"No. Is she okay?"
"She's changed her number. I know she moved in with Grady, Ariana told Quinn, who told me that she's not looking so good lately."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yes."
"I'll check in with Ari. She'll give me more info."
"Thanks. I resist the urge daily to get on a plane and go see for myself. I don't want to make things worse between us."
"I get that. I'm sorry that I've caused issues."
"No, honey, my daughter has had mental setbacks long before you. I was always so happy that she landed with you. I knew that you'd take care of her and treat her just like any other kid. She's with someone now who I am convinced is controlling her."
"Like Marco?"
"Not that extreme, you know Brittany she will fight back...if he's abusive in any way, I imagine it's intellectually."
"Now you are m-making me want to get on a plane and see for myself."
"Talk to Ariana first before you make any rash decisions. In the meantime, you are a busy woman, and you just gave Rob a job to do. I need you to promise me that you didn't do this out of charity."
"Oh no, this is totally self-seeking. I know he won't screw me over, and he knows I will give him what he's worth. He can cry all he w-wants, as long as the job gets done and that old man is back in his apartment at the end of the m-month."
Susan grinned and then pulled me into a hug. For the smallest of moments, being hugged by her reminded me of being hugged by my wife, and the tears threatened, but I wasn't having it.
I pulled away and then peeked in the little crib in the corner. Daniela was sitting up, chewing on a rubber giraffe, her eyes sparkling at me. It was insane to me that she was nine months old now.
Time had definitely flown, and Britt was missing it.
It'd been a whole month since she looked me in my eyes and told me to enjoy my life before leaving and never talking to me again.
More than that, it had been that long since the kids had seen her too.
It just didn't sit right with me.
But I wasn't going to break first.
I was convinced that she would need me before I needed her but staying in her old bedroom had me feeling differently.
Daniela was standing with the help of Susan and grinning happily. Isaac sat beside me as I snapped the picture of my little girl.
We were in the park, enjoying one of the last days of warmth, there was already a chill in the air, and I wanted to get the kids out in the park while I still could.
I posted the picture on socials with the caption, Even her drool is cute. 9 months of bliss with this little miss! :)
When I showed it to Susan, she copied it, and put it on her page, no doubt feeling jealous, Mami would probably do the same from wherever she was these days.
Being with Pa had turned my mother into Carmen San Diego, and I couldn't be mad at that.
She was goals.
After posting the photo, I had taken Isaac's hand, and we walked towards the ducks.
It had taken him time, but he was finally at a point where he wasn't trying to kick them.
Progress.
"Duck!" He screamed. "Mami cheese?!" He said, wanting a picture.
I got down with him and held him close as he eyed a duck a little too lovingly.
In the pic, I looked at him while he looked at the duck. It was artsy and adorable.
"I see!" He said to me, so I showed him the picture, and he clapped his hands.
"Glad you approve."
We sat on the rocky shore of the pond and tossed birdseed onto the grass.
I posted the pic while we watched the ducks eat.
From kicking to feeding, #progress!
After a bagged family lunch and Isaac threatening to run towards the pond one too many times...we decided to pack it in.
"Do we get to meet her?" Rob asked as I strapped the kids in the backseat of their minivan.
I'd driven my own car since I was going to a meeting and then for coffee with Walker afterward.
"That's weird, Rob." I said to him, and he shrugged.
"So...that's the Pierce family motto, Weird is the new Cool."
"Pretty sure, you just made that up."
"Did I make that up, Susan?"
She looked at us, and then, knowing he needed it more than me, she smiled at her husband.
"Of course not, Robby. I think I have it knitted on a sweater somewhere."
"See!" He said to me and stuck out his tongue.
"Fine, you win. I'll be h-home after coffee."
"Unless you two grab dinner, right?" Susan teased.
"I'm half her age, and I don't think she sees me like that."
"Friends, have dinner, Santana." Rob added. "You and Brittany did all the time."
I glared at him and he burst out in giggles.
Then Susan did, and finally, the kids were in on the laughter.
"Okay, goofballs, I'll see you later." I gave everyone kisses and then watched as Rob drove off.
Finally.
I sat staring at the pond while I scrolled through all the messages from people I loved commenting on the kids' pictures.
"Brought you a Chai."
Walker sat down next to me and handed me a large cup.
"Thanks."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, my mind is all over the place."
"I can see that. You didn't even check me out when I got here."
I turned to look at her and purposely ogle her tits, "Better?"
"Uh, yes, I have a great rack."
"Well, so do I. I'm not a boob girl. It's all about the hips for me."
"Spoken like a true bottom."
I rolled my eyes.
"I'm not a bottom." I said and then took a long sip from my cup.
"If you say so."
"So tell me about your business, you live here, but you run three other places...I need to s-start making plans to go back home, and I'll have the strip mall, the apartments, and the Rage Cage."
"You could do what I did. I established a property management company that provides oversight for my businesses. I get involved as much or as little as I want."
"Like a franchise?"
"Something like that, or you get a business partner that handles the day-to-day, but you still retain ownership."
"Is it worth it to start my own property management company?"
"I believe that the more hands in the pot, the less you really own your stuff. My company is small, and I handpicked everyone from the bookkeepers to the managers. I have HR consultants that help with the legalese, but again. I have vetted everyone who works for me, down to the dishwasher. You don't stay sober for as long as I have without a controlling interest in your surroundings."
"Thanks, that really helps."
"I would be happy to help you in any way that you need."
"Thank you, Walker."
"Of course, I'm happy to help. Now, we have a meeting to get to, and then I thought we could take Isaac and my son out bowling. Daniela is probably still a little too young. Do you think your in-laws would approve?"
"Oh yeah, they will...my wife...not so much."
"I thought she was out of the picture, and it's not like this is a date, just friends hanging out."
"Yeah, you're right." I imagined Britt and Grady going at it all over the city, and it made me sick. "I'll text them and see if they'll be okay with that."
"Awesome!"
Saturday, September 21st, 2013,
Henry,
You may want to sit down for this one.
I think that I just went on a date but not a real one?
The only adult I've ever dated was Marco, and I wasn't an adult at the time, and don't even get me started on Sugar. She's the furthest thing from an adult. Walker was amazing with Isaac. She helped me make his first bowling experience perfect.
He couldn't hold the ball, but she set it up on the stand, and I held him while he pushed it and he was SO excited. Being out tonight with her showed me one thing, there is NO way that I'm ready to date seriously.
I spent the whole night wishing that I was there with Brittany.
And I kinda hate myself for it.
But you know what? I'll get there, maybe not with Walker but with someone at some point. It's still about recovery and occasionally getting my rocks off, but nothing more.
Not yet.
I still miss her.
It's nearly Sunday, and Ari has promised to call me after church tomorrow.
Tomorrow is also when Rob is taking me over to the apartments so that I can plot out how to get this cranky old man back into his home quick, fast, and in a hurry.
Ciao!
S