Changes (Elaine)

Santana's POV

I woke up the Monday after we had hit a wall, all alone in bed that had long grown cold.

There was still a barrier up between Britt and me that was entirely my doing.

After what happened to me that day, everything seems like too much.

We abandoned our talk of my plans to leave her alone with the kids in New York and how that fucked up the trust between us.

She seemed content that I was still sober, present in the moment, and chalked up my brief detour as me just going through some things.

But I knew that there was more to it.

And so did B, which was why she insisted that we not mess up the kids' daycare schedule. She put her foot down; they'd still go three days a week, even though she had to leave to the city an hour early.

A past version of myself would have argued, but the current version was ready to let them go five days a week.

I felt disconnected from everything that had once been important to me, and I wasn't sure how to get a grasp on anything.

It was like having the foresight to see that I was fucking up wasn't enough to keep me from doing it.

There was a heavy knock on the bedroom door before it opened.

Celia came in and stood at the end of the bed with her arms crossed.

"We've been here before." She said, and I shrugged, choosing to stare out the window at the beautiful summer day instead. "Get up. We are going for a run."

"I don't run anymore." I muttered. "Doesn't do me any good."

"Bullshit, get up. I don't care if you speed walk. You're not going to wallow in this fucking room all day long."

"Watch me." I said, turning over and pulling the blanket over my head.

"Let me try." I heard Quinn mumble and knew that this hissy fit was about to end.

Great.

The sheets were gone in an instant, and then Quinn's hand came down on my bare ass.

I yelped and jumped out of bed faster than I thought possible.

"What the fuck, Q?"

"Get up, go run with your sister. You and I have a Mani/Pedi appointment in two hours. You're looking a little rough."

"Your semester is over, so I'm your pet project now?" I snapped as I rubbed my ass.

"Yes. All of us have backed off and let you live your life for months now. Britt can't handle you alone; that's clear now. You went through something big, and you've decided to shut yourself up in your head. The last time we let you do that, you became an addict. So...here's what's going to happen. You are getting on a routine; you'll run every day. We are taking shifts to be by your side."

"Like babysitters?"

"Yes, maybe everyone else wants to sugarcoat shit for you, but I'm not doing that, San. I'm worried. Officially and you know I don't like to worry."

"Then don't!"

"That's what I'm trying to do. So, get dressed, and get your ass out of this house."

"Fuck you, Q." I tried to get back in bed, but she stood in front of me.

"No, but what I can do is tell Sue that she needs to be here to help you; she's off for the summer; I'm sure she'd love to spend her offseason in your face."

The very idea of Sue Sylvester showing up in New York was enough for me to get moving because there was no way in hell that I was going to subject myself to the harshest of my critics when I was already feeling low.

Quinn and my sisters were preferable.

I stretched at the end of Sandra's long-ass driveway while I waited for Celia to tie her shoe.

Quinn had stood over me the entire time I got ready, then she kissed my forehead and slapped my ass again as I left the house.

Celia gave her a look, and Quinn mouthed an apology before my sister dragged me outside.

We made a warm-up sprint down the driveway, and my sister nearly broke her neck, tripping over her shoelace.

"Did you not check your laces before coming out?" I asked her as I ran in place.

"Quinn dragged me here to help get you out of bed; I just threw on my sneakers. I wasn't even thinking about the laces."

"Rookie mistake."

"Shut up, Ana." She gave me a playful shove, and I cracked a smile. I thought this would be a pity run, but she was her same old self so far, thank God.

I stretched out my legs and then took off down the street, knowing that it would take my sister a second to catch up.

Of course, I was out of practice, and she wasn't, so my lead lasted about two seconds before she ran past me like a damn gazelle.

I knew better than to try to keep pace with her; as long as I had her in my sights, I knew that was enough for us...she wouldn't take the lead forever. She was trying to prove a point.

My chest started out tight, but once we got to the bottom of the hill, I could feel the buzzing in my body that spurned me on. I began to run back up the hill towards the house when I got dizzy and had to stop.

Even though it seemed that Celia had forgotten she was running with me, the moment I was bent over, vomiting in the gutter, she ran back towards me.

"Too much?" She asked as she rubbed comforting circles on my back.

"Yeah."

"Water?" She shoved a water bottle at me, and I took it without hesitation. "I need to say something."

I wiped my mouth and then guzzled water down before nodding.

"Okay...say it then."

"Everyone is convinced that you're headed for a spiral and call me stupid, but I don't...you need a recharge. Right?"

"Yeah, especially with school starting in a few months. I need just to get myself back to feeling human again." I gave her my most genuine smile and then began to stretch again, hoping not to show how I really felt.

"Is running going to help?"

I touched my toes and took a few deep breaths, fixing my face before standing and smiling even bigger.

"Actually...this isn't 100% yet, so don't tell anyone. I haven't even told Britt yet, but I was really thinking about going out for the cross-country team."

"Really? I thought you were done with running?"

"I was, but I'm going to need to fill my time with things that bring me joy."

"Can't be mad at that."

After my run and a very relaxing spa afternoon, I asked Quinn to drop me at my apartment instead of Sandra's.

"Are you going to be okay here alone?" She asked, looking at me sideways.

"Only one way to find out."

"Should I worry?"

"No, Q. I'm okay, seriously."

I left Quinn's car and put on my bravest face.

There was nothing to worry about.

I was bigger than my issues.

When I got to our door, I could hear noises, and it gave me pause for only a second.

I opened the door slowly and stopped short.

Britt was in her sweats, watching a movie with Sugar while they shared a mountain of snacks.

Our kids were nowhere in sight.

So I did the natural thing, I slammed the door shut to get their attention.

Britt looked like she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar; she sat up so quickly, her messy hair framing her guilty face.

"Ana...what are you doing here?"

"Needed the quiet. What are YOU doing here?" I asked as I stalked closer to her.

"I should go-" Sugar started to say, but I glared at her.

"Stay." I barked, and she nodded but looked down at her phone. I turned my eyes back on Britt, who was standing, using her height as an advantage, but that didn't scare me; I shoved my finger against her chest until she winced. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you at work?"

"We have a few weeks off; I couldn't stand to be at your sister's house. I just wanted to be home."

"So you lied to me about going to work?"

"No. You assumed, and I didn't correct you."

"So, you took our children away from a house full of kids and toys so that they could sit in daycare?"

She turned pink.

"Actually, they're at your mom's. I know you two aren't speaking, but she missed them."

"Wow...so not cool, B."

"I know, so give me one of your lectures or yell at me, but you can't be mad that I don't want to spend time with people who haven't always been nice to me."

"Yeah, you know what, I don't want to fight. I'm going to the loft." I sighed and then turned towards the stairs, waiting for her to stop me, but she didn't.

"Have fun." She muttered. By the time I was headed up the stairs, the movie was going again.

I set the metronome and began to play with abandon, my fingers flying over the keys as I emptied my brain of everything else.

There'd be moments where I would stop to jot down a chord that I liked but otherwise; I was playing.

My fingers began to cramp after a while, so I played one last sonata before sitting back and letting out a breath.

The brightness outside had faded into darkness, and the sounds of the apartment had faded.

I edited my notes and started to clean up when I heard the elevator doors ding, even though I pretended not to notice.

"You sounded awesome, baby." She said, and I nodded, biting my lips to keep from asking follow-up questions. I was supposed to be mad.

"Thanks." I grunted, hoping to seem nonchalant.

"Are you still busy?"

"Why?" I said, finally turning to look at her. She'd been crying but was trying to smile at me. My anger deflated, but I wasn't going to go to her just yet.

"I wanted to take you out."

"Why?"

"Because I need it...don't you?" She wiped at her tears and kept smiling but not stepping closer. Had I made her that upset?

"Of course I do, but I can't go anywhere...not with you like this."

"I just...didn't mean to lie. I was going to tell you; I just needed a day."

"Britt...I think I'm more upset that you were sitting here with someone else instead of me. If you had told me...I would have come."

"You needed a break from the city; I wasn't going to force you to do something you're not comfortable with. I've learned that lesson."

"Oh."

"So...will you go out with me tonight? Your mom said she'd keep the kids until tonight."

"Did she...um...ask about me?"

"Yeah."

"What did you say?"

"Just that you were staying sober and preparing for school."

"That's it."

"Yeah."

"Thanks, B...I'm sure she tried to get info out of you."

"Definitely, but if you didn't tell her stuff, I'm not going to."

"Yes." I said to her as I ran a dust cloth over my piano before closing the top.

"Yes?"

"You can take me out." I said, still trying to play it cool, but when she grinned before jumping up and down like the old Britt, I couldn't help but laugh. "I love you, B."

Britt reached across the table in the crowded restaurant and took my hand.

I flinched but didn't pull away, even if I did look around to see if anyone was paying attention.

"Seriously?" She teased.

"Old habits. I'm out of practice with the mushy stuff, B."

"We'll have to work on that." Her face was flushed as she slid from her side of the booth over to mine. We hadn't sat on the same side of a table in an eternity; it felt good to have her by my side. "Starting now."

She opened her menu with one hand and dropped her other hand down to my bare thigh, tracing her fingers over it.

"Good Evening, welcome to the Tokyo Grill. Have you had time to look at the menu?"

"Yup, we'd like to try every kind of shrimp roll you've got." I said, and Britt grinned hard as her nails scraped the inside of my thigh, but this time there was no flinching; instead, I spread my legs and welcomed her teasing.

It was well past time that we got back to this part of our relationship.

The waiter got wide-eyed then looked to B.

"Is she serious?"

"Yup. She knows how much I love shrimp, and she's thinking that she's paying...but I took her on this date, so she should have let me order. I was going to do pretty much the same shrimp because we are on a date...even though it's a Monday night, I order shrimp when we go on dates. Does that make sense...Dale?"

He nodded as he looked from Britt to me, his face getting all flushed when he realized two hot lesbians were staring back at him.

"And to drink?" His voice was tight...but I'm pretty sure his pants were too.

"Be nice, B." I said to her, and she rolled her eyes.

"She'll have sparkling water, and I'll have a coke."

"Diet." I muttered, and she looked at me like I was nuts.

"We aren't Cheerios anymore."

"Right." I looked at the waiter kid, "Make that water a Sprite, would you?"

He nodded and then excused himself.

The moment he was gone, we burst out laughing.

"Did he remind you of-" She started, but I finished.

"Finn. Yes...I wonder how he's doing." I mused, and Britt bit her lip. "What is that face?"

"How haven't you noticed?" She said to me, looking somber.

"Noticed what?"

"Ana, baby...Finn's gone. He died when you were in the coma."

"No, he didn't...I saw his dad this past summer and never said anything."

"Why would he, you and Finn weren't exactly friends."

"Shit." I muttered and then moved her hand from my thigh to the table. "There goes my appetite."

"I thought you knew."

"Well, I didn't. Can we um...wrap this stuff up...I need to check on Rachel."

"Baby, it was over a year ago...Rachel is fine."

"This is so fucked...how did it happen?"

"No one said. He just didn't wake up one day. They didn't do a service for him or anything, just cremated him and moved on."

"Yeah, I can't eat. Can you let me out of this booth?"

"No. I won't let you run off to deal with this alone. He was my ex...and yours too. Just be here with me, and we can talk about that fake date that he took us on...and all the other weird stuff he did. Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay. I guess that's fine."

It was almost two years of everyone getting through their grief while I was just getting started, and it felt unfair.

But I understood; no one was going to tell me about this when I was going through my own shit.

After all of our fights and miscommunications, I was prepared for Britt to brush off my feelings, but instead, she held my hand while we ate.

"I feel like I missed so much these past few years." I sighed after gorging on sushi and bubble tea. "I feel like I'm not even back to myself yet."

Britt turned towards me and pulled my hand into her lap, "Ana, there's no getting back to yourself. The old Santana is gone, buried right next to the old Brittany. We have to be new people...better people. You and Finn never got along for very long, but I know you had love for each other. We were a glee family that won't ever change, but we can't go back no matter how many reunions people try to throw. That time is over."

"I know."

"Good. I want you to know that you can be sad about this, but I want you to do me a favor...please?"

"What's the favor?"

"Put all of these emotions, the stuff from that day...this stuff...our stuff, put it all into your music. You wrote a song for Beyoncé and even more for Mercedes. When your head feels too full...write it down or sing it out."

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

"I can do that."

"Good. So...now that we have that settled, there's something else we should talk about."

"Whatever it is...it wasn't me." I said, and she smirked.

"Guilty, much?"

"I've done so much shit that I can't remember half of it."

"Mmhmm. Well, as you know, your 21st birthday is on Saturday. I thought we could do something fun, like go to Coney Island and the Aquarium."

"That sounds awesome, B."

"Really?" She actually look surprised.

"Well, yeah. I can't celebrate my 21st like other people. So you are giving me a way to still get that adrenaline high."

"Exactly."

"I love you, B."

"I love you!"

I leaned forward and kissed her with every bit of emotion that I had in me. In Ohio, the make-out session would have been interrupted by someone dropping a Bible on the table or some obnoxious shit like kicking us out.

But in New York, no one cared.

How far we'd come.

"Fish!" Isaac screamed, and Quinn nudged me.

"Do you think he's going to keep screaming that?"

"Fish! Fish! Fish!" He kept screaming.

"Does that answer your question, Q?"

"But it's an aquarium." She muttered.

"Then I guess you better drop whatever this mood is and be prepared to hear your godson scream out fish for the rest of this trip."

I looked ahead at Britt, who had Daniela in her arms and Beth by her side as she pointed at a whale.

"Sorry, things at home are tough."

"Which is why I invited you and Beth to spend my birthday extravaganza with us. Don't make me regret it."

"You're right." She left my side and stooped down next to the stroller and pointed to the different fish with Isaac, telling him their names.

I snapped a few pics of them and texted them to my sister.

Wish you had come. Stop being a dick-Santana

And from her immediate response, I just knew she was sitting by her phone.

Not being a dick. I'm justified in being pissed.-Ceily

How so?-Santana

Ask your friend. I'm busy!-Ceily

I had two options at that point, entrench myself in their drama or mind my business.

And as tempting as it was to pick at Quinn about whatever this was, I chose to just focus on my wife and kids. Everything else could wait.

"What's with the face?" Quinn asked as we made our way closer to Britt and the whales. I ignored her.

"Mami, what's that?" Isaac turned in his seat and looked up at me.

"Whale." I said to him, and he clapped his hands as he looked at the huge Beluga...my favorite of all the whales.

"Look, baby, it's coming close to see you! It must know how much you love it!" Britt came over excitedly as the whale bumped the glass in front of Daniela. She hid her face against Britt's neck, but Isaac was cackling like a maniac.

"Like mother, like son." Q chuckled. "You should take him out of that seat and lift him closer; I'll take a pic of you two."

After seeing the whale, Quinn's mood seemed to lift since Beth had tired of asking Britt questions and instead chose to drag Quinn from exhibit to exhibit.

Britt settled both the kids in the stroller before walking by my side with her arm thrown around my waist.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm good, thanks for planning this day, B. I'm having fun."

"Will you get on the Ferris Wheel with me?"

"Of course."

"And the carousel?"

"Obviously."

"Then we can grab hot dogs...right?"

"Yup."

"Do you want to walk on the beach too?"

I stopped walking and turned to B, placing my hand against her cheek.

"My love, we can do all the things. With our luck, these little punks will be exhausted, and we can get our mack on tonight."

"After cake?"

"You didn't mention cake."

"It's supposed to be a surprise but, I think you should know that your mom invited everyone to her house for cake and ice cream."

"And you said yes?"

"I did...if things get rough, we can go to a meeting and then go straight home and get busy." She grinned. "Please don't be mad."

I hated that I'd have to see my mom, but I knew that it had to be done eventually. My only hope was that Mami wouldn't start shit because that was the last thing that I needed.

"I'm not mad. Just promise me that you won't leave me alone with her; I can't have her ruining this awesome mood."

She wrapped her pinky around mine, "Done. I promise."

Brittany's POV

July

I woke up on the couch for the fourteenth day in a row to the sound of Ana's piano.

Frank sprung workshops on the cast a few weeks ago, which has meant that we were working six days a week, from noon to ten.

Ana took the kids out of daycare for the summer and spent full days with them since Sugar had classes. Now that I own the building, I took the liberty of hiring actual security in the lobby and outside. That way, Sugar wouldn't have to break her neck to protect us.

By the time I've been getting home, Ana is asleep in the bed with the kids, and I don't have the heart to wake them, but I can tell it's been making her upset that I'm not there when she wakes up.

My phone buzzed next to my face, and I groaned as I picked it up.

"Yes?"

"Morning, Britt."

"Hey, Tony." I sat up and rubbed a hand over my face. "Are we getting called in on our day off?"

"Nope. But Pop's asked me to call to see if you were serious about taking that drum set."

"Crap, I forgot. I need to check with Santana, it would be up in her space, and I don't want to throw off her set-up."

"Isn't that your building, your space?"

"Don't start, Tony. I respect her space."

"That's been the problem...let me guess, you are on the couch again?"

"Because I put myself here. I know we went through a rough patch after her mom basically attacked her on her birthday, but we made up. So many times."

"Gross. I just want to make sure she's not punishing you still."

"Seriously, stop, we're okay."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Now, tell me why you're calling me this early?"

"Pop has a junk truck coming this afternoon. If you want the drum set, I suggest you get moving."

"Right, I'll go talk to her now."

"I'm texting you the address; let me know if she changes your mind."

"I'm hanging up." I threatened, and he chuckled.

"Most people just end the call; they don't announce it. Watch." The phone went silent, and I tossed it to the coffee table.

My back was aching, so I stretched, touching my toes and taking deep breaths until my palms were flat on the floor.

"Wanky." Ana said and looked between my legs, my hair brushing the floor as I watched her come out of the elevator with the kids toddling behind her.

"Mama!" Izzy came running, and I slumped to the floor so that I could be ready for them to pounce on me, but he didn't; he looked back at Ana and didn't move until she nodded, only then did he throw himself at me.

"What was that?" I asked her, and she winked.

"Your son has been tackling other kids; that's why I took him out of daycare. He needed some structure that he could only get at home."

"Oh. It's not bad if he tackles me, though."

"You say that now, but what if you're mid-dance move and he gets underfoot and you trip and hurt yourself?"

"Good point."

"I know." She went to the kitchen and smiled at us as we danced around the coffee table. "Do you work today?" She asked when she came back with two mugs.

I took one and slowed our dance to a stroll.

"Nope, but I might have to head out."

Her face dropped, "Oh."

"Do you think we can get a sitter for a little while?"

"You want me to come with you?"

"Yes."

"I'll make some calls. Do I need to get dressed up? Is this a sneakers or pumps kind of outing?" Her whole face was lit up. How could I tell her I had wanted to go to Long Island and back? I couldn't.

"Sneakers. Tony's dad is moving to assisted living and is emptying his house. He bought Tony a drum set a billion years ago that he never touched. Dance was always more important. He asked if I wanted them...I said I'd ask you."

"Hell yes, I want a drum set."

"Really?"

"B, you play the drums, and I have always wanted to learn...it is good to have music around the kids. We have room in the loft."

"Awesome, he also told me that there are a lot of garage sales in his dad's town...thought we could do some bargain hunting."

"Like the real day we met?"

It took me a moment, but then I remembered how I had run into her at a garage sale a few days before we met at cheer camp. She spilled coffee down my shirt. She'd been with her grandmother and offered to buy me a new shirt. I'd just pulled my shirt off and wiped off my sports bra and stomach with my shirt.

Her grandmother had scowled and pulled her away.

"I can't believe you remember that."

"I still owe you a shirt."

"Take me to get these drums, and we will be more than even."

"Deal."

Tony hadn't said that his father used to be a music executive and that his little drum set was in a full studio in a fancy shed behind the house.

The moment my wife stepped inside, she was like a kid in a candy store.

"She must be a musician; only music lovers get that excited." Mr. James said.

"Yup. She plays the piano and writes music."

"No kidding."

"She even wrote a song for Beyoncé's next album."

"No way. That's amazing."

"Britt, you're not supposed to be telling people yet." Ana said as she admired the soundboard.

"Does she sing too?" Mr. James asked.

"Like an angel." I was gushing about Ana, and she was trying her best to keep a straight face as she finally made her way to the black and gold drum set.

"This is gorgeous." She said to Mr. James. "How much do you want for it?"

"You know, it's been a real pain trying to get rid of all this studio equipment; you young bucks all want the newest technology. Watching you though, young lady, I'm willing to sell you everything for $200."

Her eyes went wide.

"But it's all worth way more than that."

"She is terrible at haggling. Pays full price for everything except food." I muttered to him, and he grinned.

He stuck his hand out to Ana and repeated himself, "Take it all for $200, seriously."

Ana pulled her wallet out of her pocket and pulled out a stack of bills.

"I won't take it for anything less than $500. Please." She said, and he sighed, she'd won.

"Fine."

"Great, Britt, can you google truck rentals?"

"Sure." I scrolled through my phone and found a place a mile away. "Found it. Do you want to go get it while I help disconnect everything?"

"Yeah, text me the address."

Ana left me with Mr. James, looking like a kid on Christmas.

"Will you have a spot to put all of this?"

"We do."

"Great! I'm so glad this is all going to someone who will appreciate it."

"Thanks. Can I ask why you need assisted living? You seem fine."

"Got diagnosed with M.S. a few months ago. Figured I'd decide what happens next for myself. This way, Tony and his sister don't have to worry about what to do with my stuff when it all goes south. The facility has independent living too. I will start with that, but if things get bad, I can transition to something that meets my needs."

"That makes sense."

"Will you send me some of the music that she creates? I'd love to hear it."

"Of course!"

Ana came back looking sadder than when she left.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"No trucks...but I have someone coming tomorrow to pick everything up. Is that okay, Mr. James?" She asked, looking worried.

"Sure, doll. I'll be here all day long."

"Perfect! Thanks!"

He opened his arms, and she seemed to melt into the hug.

There were few men that Ana felt comfortable hugging, but after today, Mr. James was definitely huggable.

The moment that we got home, Ana went straight to the kids' playroom and began packing things into totes.

"Are you really going to kick the kids out?" I teased, and she looked at me with wide eyes.

"Shit. Is this okay? I didn't even ask you."

"Of course it is. I was just messing. They have a huge room right across the hall. There's also the living room. It's massive, and we use just a small piece of it. We could put some upstairs, some in the living room, and the rest in the closet in their room. Sound like a plan?"

"Thanks, B! This has been the best day in a while."

We hadn't really talked about her birthday dinner; it had just been one blow out of her explaining to me over and over about why I shouldn't spring her mom on her. I apologized, we had lots of makeup sex, and I now don't talk to her mom without letting her know all about it.

"I'm sorry." I said as I pushed the tote to the side so that I could pull her into my lap. She was heavier than she'd been in a while, and it looked good on her. "You've been working out; you're all muscle again."

When Ana gets all shy and bites her lips, I swoon. It's the cutest thing in the world.

"About that, I am thinking of trying out for cross-country when school starts. I've been training."

"That's awesome!"

"You think so?"

"Definitely, you'll get all ripped again, like with track. That's so exciting...maybe you'll actually use the building gym for once."

"Other people touch those machines, B. I told you that's gross."

"You'll survive, especially since this treadmill is going to have to come out of here."

"Wait...crap, I didn't think of that. Do you think we could put it in our room?"

"No way, that room is for cuddles and sexy times, no exercise equipment."

"Living room?"

"Sure."

With the kids still at Quinn's, we rearranged all of the toys and moved the treadmill. Ana looked up how to soundproof and ordered some stuff offline, then she turned to me sweaty and happy, "Hot tub?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I've been in there every night after the kids go to bed, all alone. I know you work tomorrow; it would be nice to have some alone time with you."

"When are the kids coming home?"

"I'm picking them up tomorrow night after all of the equipment gets here. Puck is going to help me set it up."

"Mind if I grab us dinner first from the Chinese store?"

"Go for it, babe. I'll get the hot tub ready."

This is how it should be, us just having fun together without unnecessary drama.

If I had it my way, I'd keep it this way forever, but I knew better.

Santana's POV

August

Columbia allowed me to start some accelerated classes at the end of July so that I could pick up some necessary credits before the fall semester, and I've completely thrown myself into it.

Thank God for the daycare center because between Britt's six-day-a-week schedule and my classes and study time, we have no free time. My new studio has started to collect dust, which makes me even sadder.

Every day it's the same grind; Britt gets up first, makes us all breakfast then gets the kids fed and dressed. Then I pack our lunches and drop the kids off at daycare before heading to class, then the library, a meeting, and then cross-country. By the time I get home, Britt's feeding the kids before I get them ready for bed. I spend the rest of the night studying and doing homework while Britt goes over show notes. The only moment we give ourselves is when we clean up everything at night before taking a shower.

It's been like that for four weeks, then we'll have a one-week break before school starts back up again.

Thankfully, I will only have three classes instead of four, one of which will be a music class.

Cross-country will move to Saturday mornings and Wednesday afternoons. That's it. No more daily runs with the other wannabes. Now that I've made it onto the team, I can breathe a bit in one more week.

The last week of our shared torture schedule flew by without much pomp.

Friday night came, and we crashed on the couch with the kids, with ice cream, and watched a movie.

It was the first time we'd done that; it was no surprise that halfway through, I looked over to see Daniela and Britt passed out.

Isaac saw me looking and put his finger to his lips. I held my arm out for him, and he crawled across the couch, curling against my side and letting out a contented sigh.

How I made it to the end of the movie, is unknown but I managed to outlast everyone else.

I carried Isaac to his bed first before heading back for Daniela. Finally, I laid on top of Britt, kissing her face until her mouth turned into a goofy smirk.

"How much did I miss?" She said, with her eyes still closed.

"Everything. The kids are in bed; let's go get some sleep."

"What about our shower?"

"Can you handle it?"

"Mmmhmm, I'm sure you can find a way to keep me awake." Eyes still closed, she wiggled her eyebrows, and I snorted, which only made her laugh harder.

Once we were in the shower, I dropped to my knees and busied myself between her legs. She buried her hand in my hair and humped her hips against my face. Her whimpers were all that I could hear over the sound of the shower pounding down on us.

When I got back to my feet, she looked all sleepy-eyed but was smiling.

"I love you, Santana." She said, and for the first time in an eternity, her saying my first name didn't send terror or anger searing through me.

"I love you too, Brittany, para siempre."

She giggled at that.

"Ready for snuggles?"

"Um...you need to get me off first, missy. I have needs." I had been joking, but her eyes opened fully, and she began attacking my neck with kisses while her fingers traveled first to tweak my nipples before finding their way down to my clit. "Oh fuck...go easy...please?"

"Are you sore or something?"

"Or something." I muttered, and then her face got serious, she raised an eyebrow, and I had to confess.

"I didn't have class midday yesterday; I may have gone a little too far with the vibrator."

She cackled at that and then proceeded to rock my world.

On the first day of fall classes, I walked into my English Lit class, and there sitting in the back row, was my best friend in the entire world. She was a junior now, while I was just a freshman, so statistically speaking, there was no way we should be in a class together, but God saw fit to give me this boon in my first official class of the school year.

I sat down next to her, and she looked up sleepily and then smiled so huge.

"Hey, San."

"Hey. I'm surprised to see you, but you don't look so surprised."

"I may have peaked at your schedule and decided to take a class that I've been putting off." She shrugged and then slid me her second cup of coffee. "Got this for you."

"Not sure if I should be creeped out or honored that you'd do that."

"Honored, San, definitely honored."

We both had a two-hour gap in our schedules after our class, so I let Quinn drag me to a campus yoga class that I begrudgingly fell in love with.

I had been so anxious about being on campus when everyone else was, especially since I was a good three years older than the other freshman.

"Are you excited to finally get college going?" Q asked as we picked at a Danish.

"I had the accelerated class, but this is totally different. There are more people, and this is real, real. You know?"

"Surprisingly, I do know."

"How are things with you and my sister?"

"We aren't speaking. Once I decided to move in with Noah, she decided that it would be best if we took some space."

"But don't you live right down the street?"

"Kind of. We're in Fort Greene...which is like a hop, skip, and jump from Park Slope. Two miles tops."

"Yeah, but Park Slope is safer."

"And more expensive. Noah is in the Police Academy, and I live on scholarship, so we got what we could afford."

"But Beth goes to school in Park Slope, right?"

"You sound like your sister."

"I'm on your side in this, Q. My sister is being a dick. It's not like you moved all the way to Tribeca like you thought of doing."

"She doesn't know that, though. Trust me, I'd much rather live over here, closer to campus, but Beth likes her school, and Noah likes Brooklyn."

"Well, if you ever get fed up and want to be closer to your best friends, Sugar's old apartment is up for rent, and since I'm sleeping with the owner of the building, I could get you a good deal."

She looked horrified. "What?!"

"Britt owns it, Q. Relax."

"Since when?"

"Did I not tell you?"

"Obviously not...the last I knew Carmen owned the building."

"Nico felt bad about what happened. He gave me the building as a mea culpa, not that it fixes what I went through. Since Mr. Evans shot Britt, I figured that I'd give it to her. She should own something if things ever go south again, you know?"

"That was nice of you."

"I have reached a point in my relationship where I want to put everything out on the table. If we ever fall out of step again, I don't want it to be because I was vocal about what I want and need. I want Britt to be able to walk away from our relationship without having to worry about money or a place to live. I want everything to be about the health and stability of our kids."

"Exactly! That is what I have been trying to get Celia to understand!"

"Q, I get why you are doing this, but I understand why she's being a dick. Her fiancé cheated on her, and so have you. That's why WE don't live together anymore. Puckerman is your ex. You have living proof of you having screwed him. She's never going to be comfortable with the situation if you live under the same roof, especially since the whole reason she moved to New York was for you."

"You make a good point. I guess I just can't see how this can hurt her SO much. I don't want to sleep with him. I just want to co-parent."

"Which is possible without cohabitating...I've done it, and so have you when you delivered Isaac between my family and Britt for months."

"And it was exhausting."

"So why'd you do it?"

"Because it was worth it. Izzy needed Britt and your family; I didn't care what I had to do to make sure he had that." She buried her face in her hands as my point dawned on her. "And Celia saw that effort and is feeling insecure that I'm insisting on living with Noah."

"Mmmhmm." I smirked as I finished off the Danish.

"Thanks for the mental shake, S."

"Anytime." I watched people rushing around and looked at my phone. "On that note, I need to go. Thanks for the coffee and shooting the shit. See you on Wednesday?"

"Definitely. You bring coffee next time."

"Will do. Britt convinced me to contract a coffee vendor for our lobby."

"Then you're definitely bringing coffee."

We hugged for a long moment before heading our separate ways.

Having Quinn to start my day really felt like I had a blessing; she had a security blanket effect that I couldn't really get from anyone else, not that I would tell her and make her think any higher of herself.

OCTOBER 31st, 2014

"Does she know you're doing this?" Susan asked me as we finished setting up for the party.

"Nope. It's a total surprise. She thinks me bringing you and Rob here is the whole surprise. I am usually in classes all day on Fridays, but I worked ahead in my afternoon classes so that I could do this for her."

"For someone who hates surprises, you're awfully good at them."

"Thanks...the kids' nanny has been helping them balance on those kiddie skates and everything. It's going to be an epic afternoon."

"And how are things between you two?"

"Never better, we have a routine, we try to have a meal a day together. She's been consistent with her medication, and I have been consistent with meetings and therapy. My therapist told me that marriage is the kind of thing that works if you work it. Treat it like a dream job, that you'll do anything to keep because at some point that person was all you ever wanted."

"That's good advice."

"She's a good therapist."

The music cue sounded, and then the lights flashed. Britt had a show tonight, and I took the kids trick-or-treating in Westchester, so I had to plan this birthday surprise for the middle of the day. Which meant Tony and the rest of the company were bringing her out for a celebratory lunch.

Only, it wasn't just any lunch; I'd rented out the skating rink, which was set up for roller-derby and paid for a demo from the all-female team.

Tony walked ahead of Britt but then stepped to the side when I rolled towards them.

Britt was looking down at her phone until I leaned in and kissed her forehead. She took a step back as she looked up but then she was smiling at me, and everyone else disappeared.

"Are you wearing booty shorts in October?" She asked as she looked at my form-fitting outfit, down my legs, and then back up to my face.

"Yup. All for you, my love."

She leaned in and kissed my cheek before growling in my ear.

"I want to fuck you so bad right now."

I shivered, wracking my brain for a free moment with her but knowing that we were on a tight time constraint.

Watching Britt move in those roller skates next to the other dancers had me creaming my shorts. There was no way that I had that much rhythm in the skates, but when a slow song came on, I moved over to her and backed up against her; she put her arms around my waist and navigated us around the floor.

"This was amazing, thanks, baby."

"Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Uh-huh. How did you get your face on a unicorn cake?"

"Found a baker who makes funky cakes. Your mom was wondering why your face wasn't on it, but I knew you'd appreciate mine."

"I do...always."

"Will you come to Westchester after your show?"

"Do I have to?"

"You'll want to. Trust me."

"Then, yes."

We wrapped up the party; Britt gave the kids a million kisses, and then she left with her company.

"Sleepy." Isaac said against my neck.

"I know."

"Home?" He asked.

"Titi Sun's, Papa."

"Okay."

I loaded up my kids and Britt's parents and made the drive up to Westchester with only one thing on my mind.

Home.

Brittany's POV

For months, we've spent our weekends in Westchester so that the kids can be near their cousins and we can spend time reconnecting away from the city.

We go for these daily walks through the neighborhood, and little by little, I've fallen in love with Sandra's town. Scarsdale reminds me of Ana's old neighborhood in Lima.

Something about it feels like home, and I love seeing the peace she's in when we are there.

Until a few weeks ago, we'd been driving towards Sandra's, and I saw this gorgeous house.

We'd played a game, imagining the people who'd move in, and then talked about one day coming out here so the kids could run and play in the grass like she did.

I'd grown up in the city; moving to Lima was so weird because I hadn't seen so much grass that I could just run around in.

Once she mentioned it, I've become obsessed with the idea of the kids having that experience.

Tony told me that so many people do it, live outside the city even though they work there, it's the best of both worlds.

But she's in school, and I know how hard it is to juggle the kids and do something for yourself.

I haven't brought it back up, but now, as I ride with Quinn up to Sandra's, all I could think of was not going to her sister's house instead of being home with just her and the kids.

Quinn stopped a few miles short and pulled into this rounded, gravel driveway of this gorgeous white house that looked kinda like the Fresh Prince house.

"What this?" I asked her, and she just nodded towards the front door.

There stood my wife, with her hands behind her back.

"Go."

"Seriously...she didn't?" I was in awe as I pushed open the door and stepped out.

"Do you like it?" Ana asked me as I made my way up the stone steps.

Quinn pulled off and left us alone at this house.

"It's beautiful. Did you buy it?"

"No...I couldn't signoff without your say. I wanted you to love it before I made a move."

"Someone is thinking like a 'we'." I teased, knowing that our marriage therapist had suggested that to us both. "Are you going to show me around?"

"Yes." She looked so nervous as she handed me the keys. "After you, B."

It was making her crazy that I was strolling through, opening closet doors and drawers. Inspecting the windows, then I bounced up and down on the carpeted living room floor.

"You okay, baby?"

"Yes...you've just been looking for a long time down here. We haven't even made it upstairs yet."

I grinned.

"I was just seeing how long until you said something."

"Well, stop fucking with me, and let's go upstairs."

"I'd like to be fucking you."

"That makes two of us, but one of us got her period about two hours ago."

"You're kidding. It's my birthday!"

"I can't control everything, baby. I'm sorry...but I can do you."

"No, you can't; every time you have your period, and you do stuff to me, you cry."

"Don't blame me for getting sentimental; you are so fucking beautiful when you cum. It moves me to tears."

I rolled my eyes and followed her upstairs.

Right at the top were double doors, then there was a wing on each side.

There was nothing but doors.

"How many rooms does this place have?"

"Seven bedrooms."

"What are we supposed to do with all this space."

"Fill it with babies. Duh."

"Really? You said you were done." I felt thrown by her sudden urge to have more kids.

"I told you that when we are ready, I will carry your eggs, and I meant that."

It's like somehow she'd taken every single dream that I could have and was giving it all to me in one day.

"I missed this romantical part of you."

"Did you?"

"Definitely."

She pushed the doors open to the master, and I was met with the most gorgeous, beachy-looking room, and then I saw doors near the sitting area.

"Is that...a balcony?"

"Sure is."

She pulled me over to the doors and pushed them open. The balcony overlooked the lit-up pool area but was shadowed enough that I could have sex with her right against that railing.

"I'm sold. How can we make this ours, Ana?"

"All we have to do is sign."

"Can we?"

"I'll make it happen.

"I love you."

"Best birthday, ever?" She asked, and I answered by sweeping her up in my arms and kissing her with everything I had.

I pushed down the feelings that always cropped up when things were this good between us.

The dark feelings never let me get as excited as I used to get because we'd never gone very long with this much happiness.

School, though, seemed to be filling her with purpose, and the routine has been keeping her sane.

How would a move to the suburbs change things?

"Best birthday, ever." I said before kissing her again and again.

She pulled back and looked up into my eyes, her lip sore from her biting it.

"I'm going to be okay, B."

"I'm not worried." I said to her, and she raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, maybe I am, but you'll prove me wrong. I know it."

"I will."

"Good. Thank you for making today amazing...did the kids get a lot of candy?"

"Yup."

"Can we go steal some?"

"I have it in the car...we can have some on the way to Sandra's. How's that sound?"

"Sounds like a plan."