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A/n thank you all again for your kind support.

Emily stared into the darkness of her bedroom. A faint light invaded from around her blinds, but she faced away from the window. Her eyes were unfocused, and her thoughts turned inward. Sleep refused to take her into its embrace, so she tossed and turned. The bed felt – empty without Spencer and – Emily turned over again and reached out a hand to touch the pillow without a familiar head of silky, golden-brown hair.

She sighed and closed her eyes. Images from the flight home invaded her thoughts. Spencer had sat apart from them with his eyes staring out the window. He'd refused to speak to anyone, even JJ. Emily had tried to talk to him, but he'd looked at her with haunted eyes. Something else she hadn't seen in months lurked behind his shocked expression.

Fear shot through her again as she sat up and reached for her phone. She impatiently waited for Spencer to answer, but his flat tone spooked her more than what she'd seen in his eyes when he did respond.

"Spencer."

"What?"

Emily hesitated for a minute. She'd never felt afraid of Spencer – but – she blew out a breath. "I couldn't sleep. I – wanted to make sure you're okay. I miss you."

Spencer didn't respond for so long, Emily said. "Spencer? You there, sweetheart."

"I'm here," His tone changed, filled with anger. "I'm not fine, Emily. I watched one man blow another man's head off with a shotgun."

"Honey, I –"

"Don't," Spencer whispered. "I can't get the pictures out of my head. The blood and bone, and brain matter splattered all over the walls. God!"

Emily swallowed hard and forced back the tears from her eyes and the urge to cry. "I don't know how to help you," she answered quietly.

"You can't, Emily. I– don't want to talk, do you understand."

"I- yes. I love you, Spencer. I'm always here."

"I know," Spencer said, and his tone shifted to something like pain instead of rage. "I'll see you later."

He was gone.

Emily nearly jumped out of bed but then realized that if she went to him, he'd shut her out even if she used the key he'd given her. She turned to stare at the wall, but tears tracked slowly down her face until she fell into a fitful sleep.

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Emily felt something strange when she opened her eyes and noticed that the grey light of morning seeped into the room. She flipped over and saw Spencer sitting in the easy chair she'd place in one corner. Her heart jolted into her throat, and she sat up. "Spencer?"

"I'm sorry I scared you. I didn't know if I should use my key or not. I hope you don't mind that I napped on the sofa."

"You didn't need to do that, Spencer."

"I know, but after talking to you on the phone, I decided to drive here. Then I sat in the car for an hour, and then I came in and realized that I might scare you. I couldn't stay on the sofa, though. I missed you."

The pain in his voice tore at her heart. "Please come here," Emily gestured to him. "Please!"

Spencer kicked off his shoes and crawled into bed. He turned into Emily's arms and put his head on her shoulder. "I need you."

"I'm here, babe."

"I can't stop thinking about it."

Emily tightened her arms around his trembling body. She felt warm tears on her neck and his breath on her arm. "It will get better, Spencer and - "

"No, not that, " Spencer said, and he pulled away from Emily to sit up. His eyes were bloodshot, his hands shook, and his mouth trembled. "I –" His throat worked furiously. "I want a shot." He whispered and hung his head.

"Oh, Spencer," Emily pulled him back into her arms. "What can I do?"

"I don't know – I – can I stay here."

"Yes, for as long as you need."

"Talk to me," Spencer said.

"About what?"

"Anything except the case. Help me not to think, Emily."

"Alright."

Emily began to speak, and ten minutes later, she felt Spencer's body relax and his breathing slow. She knew he slept, and she moved him so that his head lay on a pillow. Emily curled up next to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Sleep might retake her, but she'd stay there until Spencer resurfaced if it didn't. He wouldn't wake alone.