Usual Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek Voyager or anything associated with it, Paramount does!
Author's Note: I found these stored away, handwritten in a notebook from when I had just finished re-watching Voyager. They are a few of my favorite scenes from the show between the Captain and members of her crew, written from the character's perspectives. No plagiarism is intended; I just wanted to share my snippets and let you enjoy them if you want to! I'll post whenever I get time to type one up. Thank you, and please review!
A Captain's Heart
Chapter 11: From "The Disease"
Harry
"Captain…" Harry tried.
"Stow it, Ensign!" she cut him off. "Right now, the only thing standing between you and the brig is this report. The Doctor's bio-scans confirm that you and Tal have developed some sort of biochemical bond. Clearly it's affected your behavior, so I have to assume that's why you disobeyed my orders. Report to Sickbay. You'll be confined there until this is over." She spun on her heel and strode purposefully out the door.
Harry chased after her. "Captain!" he called.
"I told you to report for treatment!"
"I don't want treatment!"
The Captain glanced around the overtly silent bridge as if suddenly aware of the stares that were glued to their argument. "In my ready-room," she ordered through gritted teeth. Harry caught sight of Chakotay's protectively worried expression when he stood, obviously uncertain of whether to intervene, and then the ready-room doors closed.
The Captain pounced on him like an angry lioness, her face white with barely controlled fury. "You've got thirty seconds before I have Tuvok drag you to Sickbay!"
Her fiery tone stirred something rebellious inside him. "Captain, I am not sick!" he insisted vehemently. "I didn't disobey your orders because I'm under some alien influence; I disobeyed your orders because Tal and I are in love, and it's not right for you to keep us apart!"
"Listen to yourself," she said, her voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "You don't sound anything like the Harry Kim I know."
"Good!" he shouted. "I have served on this ship for five years and said, 'Yes, ma'am,' to every one of your orders, but not this time."
"You're willing to risk your rank, your career, over this?" she asked intently.
Harry took a deep breath. "Have you ever been in love, Captain?" he inquired.
Kathryn
The question stung a wound that she had thought was already healed. She had spent months recovering from losing Justin. He had been the first man she had ever fallen in love with, and he had been, perhaps, the only man she had ever truly loved. "Your point?" she asked tersely.
His passion made him struggle to find the words, but he cut right to the heart of the matter. "Did your skin ever flush when you were near another person? Did your stomach ever feel like someone – hollowed it out with a knife – when you were apart? Did your throat ever swell when you realized it was over?" he pressed. "Seven of Nine – Seven of Nine – told me love's like a disease! Well, maybe it is. Pheromones, endorphins, chemicals in our blood changing our responses. Physical discomfort. But any way you look at it, it's still love!"
She circled around him a little. "For the sake of argument, let's say you're right. Your feelings for Tal are no different than mine for – well – the man I was going to marry," she said quietly.
Her trembling voice was raw with the raging emotions battling for control of her. She supposed that she had truly loved Mark as well. When they had been stranded in the Delta Quadrant, her separation from Mark had been accompanied by the hope that she would see him again. It had been her anchor and her safety net. But four years later, she learned in a letter that he had married another woman. Hopeless, she had closed her heart to love. She could never have any relationship as deep as romance until Voyager got home. Her mission slowly grew to consume her time and her thoughts. Brought back to the present, she felt sadness pierce her with the sharp sense of how alone she was.
It took all her strength just to keep talking to Harry, but firmly, she continued, "Well, I lost him. And you're going to lose Tal. You know that. What the Doctor is offering you is a way to ease the pain."
"That man you were going to marry," Harry said pointedly. "If you could've just taken a hypospray to make yourself stop loving him, so that it didn't hurt so much when you were away from him, would you have done that?"
She flinched at the question. If she could have, would she have done it?
If she could have spared herself the anguish of those months following Justin's death, would she have done it? If she could remove the feeling of loneliness that still accompanied her some nights after Mark's Dear John letter, would she do it? In that moment of introspection, she realized that if she had not suffered so greatly through her loss of Justin, then his life and his love would have had less meaning. If she did not still miss Mark, then her love for him would have been false.
In the spirit of maternal protection, she had wanted to spare Harry the pain that she had spent years fighting through, but maybe he had to experience it to be able to preserve the memories of Tal's love.
Just then, the ship rumbled, and both of them were thrown against the wall. "Captain to the bridge," she heard Chakotay call.
She asked Harry to take his station.