Ally
I threw a lighthearted punch towards the boxing pad, and Austin pinned me with bored eyes.
"That's not what I told you to do," he deadpanned, and I smirked, turning my back towards him. Bending down to grab my water bottle, I turned back around only to find his eyes snapping back up to meet mine.
I let the bottle fall from my lips.
"I'm done," I claimed stubbornly, wiping the sweat from my brow. "I told you I had to go into work early, and you've made up for the fifteen" I emphasized, "minutes we will be losing. I'm tired."
Austin rolled his eyes, removing the boxing pads from his hands and tossing them in the nearby corner.
"That means I'm doing my job," he mumbled, sniffling.
"Okay, grumpy pants," I teased, a light smile playing at my lips as I pulled my hair from its ponytail.
He turned around, a terrifying glare accompanying pursed lips. "I'm not grumpy, I'm sick," he pointed out. "Because someone wanted to do twenty fucking loops around the pond in freezing weather."
I raised my brows, pointing a finger at him. "You wouldn't have been out there if you would have just left me alone," I said, "plus, according to you, you weren't the one the size of a middle schooler. And look who turned out just fine."
My words were dripping with sarcasm, but when Austin flipped me off, I couldn't stop the giggle that left me.
It had been two days since our talk at the park, and although I felt a tiny bit of guilt that I was the reason Austin now had a serve head cold and congestion, there wasn't a single part of me that regretted that hour spent with him. Because since then, my chest had been light as air.
Austin's words had replayed in my head all weekend, reminding me that I had a life to live whereas Dallas didn't – a life that Dallas would have wanted me to live to the fullest, with or without him. And there wasn't a single thing that I could do to go back and change the past. I had to deal with the cards that I had been dealt, and I had been observing my next move for far too long instead of playing my hand.
So, after Wednesday morning, I hadn't gone to work. Instead, I called Betty, telling her I had something important to tend to, and that I would come in during the afternoon.
And with a new resolve, I went home and reapplied to college.
My fingers had been shaking as I filled out the application, and the only words playing in my head were Austin's as I hit submit. And with a wide smile, I took a deep breath; the oxygen settling deep in my lungs, and it felt like breaking the surface after being submerged for so long.
I hadn't told anyone any yet, I wanted my parents to be the first.
However, as I watched Austin's clean-up for the next session, I felt excitement bubble in my chest that I would be able to tell him on Monday morning. But when he sniffled again, I frowned, the guilt growing and I took a step forward, bending down to pick up the jump rope and boxing gloves.
He glanced at me, those miserable eyes rimmed with exhaustion, and I smiled sheepishly.
"I'm sorry you got sick," I offered gently.
Austin's lips twitched, and his eyes softened as he shrugged. "It's alright, it'll pass in a few days." He reached for the items in my hand. "What time are you heading down to your parents?"
I bit my lip as I thought through my agenda for the day.
"Well, I'm gonna help Betty with some new inventory and whenever I finish that, I'm going to meet the girls for lunch, then I'm gonna head down," I explained, reaching down to grab my duffle bag, placing it on my shoulder.
Austin nodded, walking with me towards the door, and when we reached it, his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the wall in front of me. My hand rested on the knob, ready to twist it when he reached forward suddenly, placing a gentle hand on my elbow.
"Are you feeling okay today," he asked, his eyes gentler than moments ago.
My stomach fluttered so fiercely at his words that I tensed. He noticed, drawing his arm back and I took in a breath, smiling up at him.
"I should be asking you that," I teased distractedly, trying to gather my barings as I stared at the man in front of me.
He shot me a look, silently telling me that I knew what he meant. And with that, the flutter subsided, and I nodded, my smile falling into a softer one. "I'm okay." When his brows pulled together, I reached forward, placing a hand on his forearm resting across his chest. "I promise, Austin. I'm better than okay."
A heartbeat went by as he observed me, searching from something as his eyes skated across my features before nodding. He took a step back, stepping behind me as I took that as my cue to open the door.
As I stepped into the hall, his hand gripped the edge of the door frame.
"Be careful headed home."
With a nod, I gave him a little wave.
"See you Monday," I said.
"See you Monday."
"You've been awfully cheery this morning," Cassidy claimed, rising her fork to her mouth, shoving fettucine between her glossed lips.
"I agree," Trish chimed, and their stares narrowed, as if they hadn't been intense before.
I raised a single brow, covering my mouth with my hand as I finished chewing my lasagna.
"What are you talking about, I'm eating," I argued.
Both Trish and Cassidy shared a look.
"Yes, but you are doing it cheerfully," Cassidy pointed out.
A chuckle escaped as I shook my head. "I'm sorry," I questioned, "I didn't realize it was a crime to be cheerful. It's like you and Trish are the smile police, can I not be happy?"
"Of course," Trish scoffed, "we want you to be happy. We also want to know what is making you happy."
And Cassidy nodded with stuffed cheeks and raised brows as she pointed her fork at Trish in agreement.
I rolled my eyes. "I'm excited to see my parents, it's been over a month since I've seen them," I said, and it was the truth. My parents were my heart, and it didn't matter what season of life I was in, I would always get excited to see them.
"I've seen you excited to see your parents." Trish's eyes narrowed as she spoke. "This wouldn't have anything to do with that trainer of yours, would it?" She then turned to Cassidy abruptly. "She had a session this morning."
Cassidy's eyes widened, and she clapped her hands excitedly.
"She did!"
"Oh my God," I groaned, running my hand down my face. "Guys, stop, okay? My good mood has nothing to do with Austin. In fact, he was sick this morning and grumpy."
"Did he let you take care of him," Trish's brows waggled, and Cassidy winked – these two worked so well together it was scary.
I leveled my gaze, forcing the best glare I could even though I could feel my lips twitching with the effort to hide a smile, which would be the last thing I needed. With a sigh, I twisted the tip of my straw.
"I just have something that I'm not ready to share yet, and –,"
Cassidy cut me off.
"You are dating again," she exclaimed, and nearly everyone in the restaurant looked in our direction.
My cheeks burned as I ducked my head, trying my best to hide behind my hair as I glared at the blonde in front of me. "What, no," I whispered before clearing my throat. "No, I'm not dating again Where did that even come from?"
Cassidy ducked her own head and gave me an awkward smile before Trish joined in.
"We've been waiting for you to decide to start dating again, and we were hoping," she sang, "that after seeing Austin you would maybe consider dating again."
My mouth fell open, "you two knew who Austin was when you signed me up."
"No," Trish said incredulously, "if I knew who Austin Moon was and what he looked like, I would have signed myself up for his classes."
"But after seeing him the other day," Cassidy joined, trailing off, "we hoped maybe that would convince you to date again."
I blinked, my mouth still hanging up as my eyes flickered between the both of them. Frustration trickled up my neck, replacing the blush of embarrassment as I shook my head, trying to wrap my head around the words.
"I'm not attracted to Austin, nor am I ready to date," I said, harsher than I intended. "My dating life is none of your concern, and I appreciate it if you two would drop it, including Austin."
Cassidy chewed her lip while Trish rolled her eyes, but they each nodded. And after a moment of silence, Cassidy began rambling on about something to do with a business class.
But my thoughts whirled as I poked at my plate, the cheerful mood from earlier placed with aggravation.
"Oh, my goodness!"
The grin on my face matched my father's as I watched him nearly take a tumble down the steps in order to get to my car. I had barely put it in park and unbuckled my seatbelt before he was tugging open the door and pulling me into his arms.
"I thought you weren't coming until tomorrow," he mumbled into my hair.
I wrapped my arms around his figure that seemed a little larger since the last time I had visited and tucked my head into his chest right beneath his chin.
"I decided to surprise you guys and stay an extra night."
His arms around me tightened and I felt him place a kiss to the top of my head.
"I'm missed you so much, neonata."
A comfort only my father could provide me filled my chest, and I revealed in it as I snuggled deeper into his embrace. Everything melted away and I felt five years old again; bingeing crime documentaries with him on the couch until my mother had to force us both to go to bed. We would always share knowing glances with one another before turning to pull out our biggest weapon – the puppy dog eyes. My mother, who had always been horrible at saying no to either of us, always fell for it and caved; sometimes even joining us for a late-night episode.
I would lay across both of their laps while my father would wrap his arms around the two of us, kissing both our heads before resting his on my mother's. And nearly every time I looked up at him, instead of finding his eyes on the television, I found him admiring us.
"I've missed you, too, papa."
He pulled back; a smile larger than life cracking across his face. "Your mother is going to be so excited," he exclaimed, shaking my shoulders lightly. He walked towards the trunk of my car, popping it and reaching in to grab my duffle bag. His face brightened when noticing the flowers.
"You did bring some!"
I laughed a little, walking around to grab the tray of flowers Betty had generously gifted me to gift to my mother.
"I told you I was going to save your butt," I teased, "you owe me Cacio d Pepe before I leave."
He laughed, opening the front door for me, and I stepped inside. Although it wasn't the house I grew up in, I instantly felt at home whenever walking through the door due to my mother's decorating skills that hadn't changed a bit over the years.
Although it was a larger house than what I had grown up in with an open floor plan, it was warm and inviting, modern with a hint of Italian and American culture perfectly intertwined. And in every corner, I knew there would be something that reminded me of our house in Littleton.
On the mantle and shelves around the living area were pictures of me; most senior causals and drapes while a few were of my preteen years where I supported horrible bangs and braces. Looking through the kitchen to the dining area, I could see the edge of a table that I knew had a bouquet of flowers that my father had gotten her as the center piece. Just like I knew that in every room there would be a candle, either lit or unlit, that would smell of vanilla bean.
"Anytime you visit, that's a given. Your mother went and bought all of the ingredients for it two days ago."
I walked to place the flowers on the kitchen counter before taking a seat at the bar. A second later, my dad slides a glass of water in my direction before grabbing ingredients from the pantry and fridge to begin making my favorite Italian dish.
For the next twenty minutes, my father and I chatted as I watched him lay out the exact measurements of each ingredient. And it wasn't long before my mother came speeding through the door as frazzled as her features were delighted.
"My baby!"
Her arms were around me just as tight as dad's had been. I buried my head into her soft curls that resembled mine almost identically, breathing in her scent; vanilla mixed with rain. It was the only way I could describe the essences that was my mother, and since I was a baby, vanilla had been a comfort.
"Goodness, I've missed you"
The same guilt from nearly two weeks ago flooded my stomach at the fact that it had been so long since I had visited them. My throat tightened, and I squeezed her a little tighter, silently vowing that putting my relationship with them would be my top priority from this day forward.
Hours later I was helping my mother clean the dishes while my father wiped the counter tops behind us after dinner. While it was usually their deal that whoever cooked the other would clean, my father decided to help tonight alongside both 'his girls'.
"So, Allyson," my mother grinned, "your father informed me that you have been taking kickboxing lessons."
I turned, leveling a playful glare on my father. It wasn't a secret, but I knew as well as he did that, she would obsess over the fact that I was doing something other than working and sulking in my apartment.
I let out a soft sigh, nodding as I handed her another dish to towel dry.
"Yep, Trish signed me up without telling me, and then roped me into trying it. I've been doing it for two weeks now, finished my sixth session this morning."
My mother let out a laughter that matched my father's the day I had told him the same thing.
Two weeks had come and gone in a flash, and while it was only a short window of time, I could already tell a difference between now and the girl I had been during that first session.
I was getting stronger – not just physically but mentally.
Nothing had drastically changed, but I could tell a difference in the way I carried myself, in the way I felt. The emotional weight I carried on my shoulders seemed to balance out, allowing me to walk a little straighter and carry a little more before I bottomed out.
I felt as if I could handle so much more than what I could before, and the difference in my attitude hadn't been something only I had noticed. Trish and Cassidy kept praising how much lighter I seemed, Betty kept reassuring me that numbers were leveling out and our customers base was growing again, and my father and mother admitted that I seemed more 'manageable' – whatever that meant.
But bad days that led to bad moments were still very much present, such as two days ago, and I wasn't stupid enough to think it would be an instant fix. If anything, I knew better than to think that this would last because I knew it was a high. Days would come around where I would feel like shit about everything transpiring in my life. After all, how many times did all the other remedies make me feel like a million bucks only to come crumbling down weeks later – sometimes worse than before.
However, after a bad day paired with a training session with Austin, I normally felt better.
There were still days he managed to push me to the very edge, where I didn't think I could do it anymore and wanted to quit. And it always seemed to be on the hardest days that he did just that.
But it never failed that afterward, I felt as if I had taken on my demons with a fight I felt going stronger every single day. A fight that would grow in my chest the moment Austin kept pushing and pushing to a point where I would either break or keeping going. So far, it had always been to keep going.
Though I don't think Austin ever really gave me a choice. Because I knew that if he found that breaking point, he wouldn't give me the option to quit.
What he didn't realize was that I had already had that breaking point, and I didn't intend to return to it.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," I deadpanned, handing her another dish.
"I'm sorry, honey," she spoke through chuckles, "it just sounds like such a Trish thing to do."
I shrugged half-heartedly, "it is, but I will give it to her. So far, I'm enjoying it."
My mother turned to face me completely, a mix of happiness, pride, and relief coursing through hazel eyes that I didn't inherit from her; ones that I envied
"Oh, that's amazing, honey. Tell me more about it."
I chuckled softly, drying the last plate, placing it in the cabinet. Turning to them, I inhaled, resting my hip against the counter as I dried my hands. "I will, but" I said, "I have something to tell the both of you first."
My mother and father's smiles instantly fell, and they each shared a look, one that said so much in a single second. Fear flashed through my dad's eyes, and he stepped out from behind the counter closer to my mother and I – this had been exactly why I hadn't told them during dinner.
"What, baby," my mother asked, reaching for my hand, and I smiled softly.
"I reapplied to college."
Things were silent for a few seconds before my mother clasped a hand over her mouth, and my father shouted, wrapping his arms around me, lifting me off my feet.
I laughed, allowing him to spin me before passing me to my mother, and when her arms were around me, they shook. Her grip continued to tighten as she just held me. She buried her nose in the crook of my neck, and her voice cracked with the words, "Oh, Allyson, I'm so proud of you."
"Thanks, mama," I whispered, my own voice growing thick.
I pulled back from her and my father pulled me back into his arms, kissing the top of my head.
"Are you sure, sweetheart," he whispered, and I nodded, stepping away from him.
"Yeah, I think it's time," I said softly. "I applied two days ago and should hear something back in two weeks or so. All of my scholarships are still active, and once I get my transcripts in order, I'll be able to attend as soon as the summer."
"What brought this on," my mother asked, "not that I'm not ecstatic, but the last time we talked, you didn't seem ready in the slightest."
Austin's words were ringing through my head again, and I shrugged halfheartedly.
"I can't keep continuing to put my life on hold." I looked down at my connected hands, the ring on my finger. "My scholarships aren't going to last forever, and I'm only wasting time by not taking action." I twisted my favorite piece of jewelry.
"Plus, Dallas would want this for me."
I looked up to find both my parents staring at me, and I seen the shine of tears in my mother's eyes. She swallowed before nodding, and my father reached forward, running a hand down my arm before he spoke.
"He absolutely would, sweetheart."
Lester
I kissed my daughter's head before watching her bound up the stairs.
"Are you gonna tell her," Penny asked softly, resting a hand on my shoulder.
I sighed, my chest tightening at the information I had only found out hours before Ally arrived. The thought of telling her was enough to bring me to my knees, my mind plagued with memories of her after Dallas's death.
Even after years of being an active military member, two tours, and a job that gave me insight to the worst of humankind, nothing would compare to those months after Ally lost Dallas.
And I had never been more thankful that the autopsy report hadn't been released – although I was still trying to figure out why.
"I don't think I can," my voice cracked, "but a part of me thinks she deserves to know."
Penny rested her head against my arm, watching the steps that Ally had disappeared up.
"I don't think she needs to know," Penny whispered. "It isn't going to change anything."
I nodded in agreement, but the part of me that never hid anything from my daughter disagreed.
"I should have left it alone."
What did you guys think?
This is a shorter chapter, but this is a filler, setting up for the next chapter ;)
What do you guys think Lester found out? What do you think Dallas's autopsy says? Oh, by the way, I changed Lester's position on the police force, he was once a detective but was promoted to lieutenant. I've already changed that in chapter four.
I hope you guys are enjoying it so far! I hope to have the next chapter out soon! I'm updating Serenity next.
Thanks for reading!
We are currently hunkering down for Hurricane Ida. So I very well could lose power for who knows how long, but I'll update as soon as I can.
Until next time.
-meg